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Subject   (reply to 35887)
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>> No. 35887 Anonymous
11th November 2021
Thursday 10:43 pm
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>Insertion of foreign objects into the rectum is a well-described phenomenon and not an uncommon referral to the general surgeon on call. Although usually not life-threatening, there can be consequences following migration of the object or perforation of the large bowel. This study looks at the incidence of removal of foreign objects from the rectum over the last decade and the financial burden it presents to the NHS.

>A total of 3,500 rectal foreign bodies were removed over the course of 9 years. Males accounted for 85.1% of rectal foreign bodies whilst 14.9% were females. This equates to 348 bed-days per annum. Admission peaks were observed in the second and fifth decades of life.

>This study shows that the incidence of rectal foreign bodies is higher in men and has been increasing over the period studied. Most foreign bodies can be removed trans-anally with the use of anaesthesia, with only a small proportion of patients requiring hospital stay over 24 hours (mean length of stay = 24 hours). Nearly 400 rectal foreign body removals are performed each year with an annual cost of £338,819, illustrating the effect this has on NHS resources.


Stop losing things up your bum, lads.
Expand all images.
>> No. 35888 Anonymous
11th November 2021
Thursday 11:09 pm
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The nurses from A&E at work have told me a lot of stories about this. A lot of them are repeat offenders, interestingly. It seems like it's akin to flashing or something like that, where part of the whole game is having to go through that embarrassing trip to the hospital and tell them you fell on it while you were redecorating the kitchen in the nude.
>> No. 35898 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 10:49 am
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Jesus can you actually imagine falling on something with enough force to penetrate your anus? How fucking painful would that be. I wouldn't be giving sly looks in A&E, I'd probably have passed out and be bleeding all over the floor.
>> No. 35901 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 1:34 pm
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I think it'd be hard to get the angle right. It'd most likely perforate something, either going through your arse cheek or tearing through your rectal walls.
>> No. 35903 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 1:57 pm
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Why have they pulled his boxers down?
>> No. 35904 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 1:58 pm
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To get to the one up his arse.
>> No. 35905 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 8:17 pm
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Don't swallow things either lads.
>> No. 35906 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 8:19 pm
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Oh, goodness. I'm going to check his Twitter right away to make sure he's okay.
>> No. 35907 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 8:50 pm
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I have never heard of Orbeez. (Apparently they are brightly-coloured balls which expand when soaked in water). How big do they get? I threw up in an all-you-can-eat restaurant once after eating myself to heroic fullness and then drinking the free tap water and discovering that most of what I ate expands when it comes in contact with water. That was certainly not a comfortable experience, but I didn't have to go to hospital. Do Orbeez go from, say, marble-size to golf ball-size? Tennis ball-size?
>> No. 35908 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 9:03 pm
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I'm not familiar with that particular brand, but sodium polyacrylate can absorb several hundred times its weight in water. Swallowing it would be a Very Bad Idea, partly due to the risk of bowel obstruction and partly due to the risk of extreme dehydration.

>> No. 35909 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 9:11 pm
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I think they're best known for some daft French cunt using them to fuck up the plumbing in his locality.

>> No. 35910 Anonymous
12th November 2021
Friday 10:08 pm
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I had some sympathy until he started sticking his hand into sewers and then I realised he was too dumb to live.

Also I'm now confident you could take out London with coordinated Orbeez strikes in the right locations. Forget dirty bombs or a smallpox attack, these little spheres of doom are much scarier.
>> No. 35913 Anonymous
14th November 2021
Sunday 12:49 am
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>Realised he was too dumb to live

It's a fake video.

>> No. 35914 Anonymous
14th November 2021
Sunday 9:45 am
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Serves me right for trusting a Frenchman, a German speaking Frenchman at that.
>> No. 36204 Anonymous
3rd December 2021
Friday 7:31 pm
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>The bomb squad was called to Gloucestershire Royal Hospital on Thursday (December 2), after a patient was admitted with a mortar shell stuck in his rectum.

>Troops from 11 Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment rushed to the Gloucester hospital after being notified by police "that a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum."

>The man was a military enthusiast who found the shell while clearing out, but somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital, according to The Sun.

>> No. 36214 Anonymous
3rd December 2021
Friday 11:29 pm
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>57mm piece of army ordnance
It isn't that big. Must have been his first time.
>> No. 36226 Anonymous
4th December 2021
Saturday 1:36 pm
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I figure it couldn't be that big, since it was a piece pulled from his private arsenal.
>> No. 36227 Anonymous
4th December 2021
Saturday 1:58 pm
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I don't think we have enough here- Is that length, diameter, circumference, what are we really dealing with here?
>> No. 36230 Anonymous
4th December 2021
Saturday 7:23 pm
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I think that the quoted dimension is generally the diameter of the bullet-y bit. If he'd got the whole shell in, you'd have to have some grudging respect.
>> No. 36231 Anonymous
4th December 2021
Saturday 7:24 pm
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or it could have been one of these beauties.
>> No. 36232 Anonymous
4th December 2021
Saturday 7:41 pm
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57mm - 6 pounder.jpg
It was a mortar bomb, which, in so far as any military ordinance is, shaped like a butt plug.

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