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>> No. 9544 Anonymous
26th June 2013
Wednesday 10:29 pm
9544 Recipes only, no comments. Stickied

60 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 11020 Anonymous
14th October 2014
Tuesday 12:25 am
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Tell a lie, it wasn't even from Veganomicon, it was a bastardised version of something from Complete Vegetarian.

Super Spicy Veggie Kedgeree Serves 1-2 normal people OR 1 greedy fucker (me)


1 shallot/small onion, finely chopped
2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped, or paste
50g dried red lentils
100g brown or Basmati rice
1-2 tsp super hot curry powder
half a hot chili, rehydrated for 8 hours overnight (I used a small naga hybrid), finely chopped
fresh coriander, chopped
4 cloves
4 tbsp vegetable oil/vegan cooking fat (I use Vitalite)
bay leaf


1. Put the lentils in a saucepan, add the bay leaf and cover with cold water. Bring to boil, skimming off any foam, then reduce the heat. Cover and simmer for 25-30 mins until tender. Drain, then discard the bay leaf.

2. Meanwhile, cook rice according to instructions on pack - but add the cloves and a generous pinch of salt to the water. Brown rice will take longer; white basmati won't. Cook until tender. Discard the cloves.

3. Melt the oil/cooking fat in a large saucepan over a gentle heat (I use half veg oil and half Vitalite because Vitalite is rather salty). Then add the onion and garlic and sweat for 5-8 mins until softened. Add the curry powder and chopped chilli and cook, stirring, for 1 min.

4. Stir in the lentils and rice and mix well until they are coated in the spiced oil/butter. Season and cook for 1-2 minutes until cooked through and piping hot. Serve tossed with fresh coriander and quartered hard-boiled eggs on top if so inclined.

I also like to eat this with a bit of hot sauce or hot pickle on top or on the side, sometimes a mango chutney if I'm feeling fruity. This fridges well, I usually make enough to be lunch and dinner for 2 days but then I end up eating it all because I'm a sad lonely fuck who thinks eating vegan makes me cool.
>> No. 11023 Anonymous
18th October 2014
Saturday 10:08 pm
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Chicken Breast With Mediterranean Onion and Olive Tomato Sauce

- 2 white chicken breasts
- 2 sliced and quartered onions
- 1 sliced shallot
- 2 black olives, 2 green olives, sliced
- 1 diced unskinned tomato
- chicken stock
- dry white wine
- 1/2 tablespoon of Philadelphia Garlic & Herbs Cheese
- triple concentrated tomato puree
- fried chicken seasoning
- Italian Herb Seasoning (Schwartz or similar)
- salt
- pepper

Rub fried chicken seasoning and Italian Herbs onto the chicken breasts, add a dash of white wine, and leave to marinade for two or three hours; turn over repeatedly.

Sear onions in a medium sized frying pan for a few minutes at high temperature with a dash of salt until they just about turn slightly brown. Douse with a little bit of white wine first, stir briefly, then add chicken stock so the onions are just about covered. Also add the diced shallot, and leave to simmer under a lid at low heat for about five to ten minutes.

Next, turn up the heat, put the chicken breasts in the pan and sear briefly on both sides. Turn the heat back down, put in the olives and a bit more of the chicken stock, and leave to simmer again. Check repeatedly, and add the diced tomato about five minutes before the chicken is done.

Lastly, remove the chicken breasts from the pan, add the Philadelphia cheese and quite a bit of tomato puree (and perhaps yet more chicken stock as needed), and stir until you've got a thick creamy consistency. Replace the breasts, pour a bit of the sauce you have just created over them, and leave under a lid again, off the stove, for a few minutes.

Serve with rice (or mashed potato) and vegetables.
>> No. 11024 Anonymous
29th October 2014
Wednesday 2:18 pm
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Pasta e Faglioli

1 tin Borlotti beans
3/4 tin chopped tomatoes with herbs
6 cherry tomatoes
Small onion, finely chopped
6 garlic cloves
Olive oil
Pinch smoked paprika
Pinch chilli flakes
Italian herb seasoning (oregano, basil, rosemary, thyme etc.)
1/2 litre stock (I used beef)
Small pasta like ditalini, or penne broken into halves


1. Finely chop onion and crush 4 of the garlic cloves, finely chop the other 2. Chop tomatoes into sixths.
2. Heat 1-2 tbsp of olive oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Sweat the onion and garlic with the smoked paprika and a good shake of Italian herb seasoning until softened.
3. Add the chopped cherry tomatoes. Stir and cover, cook until softened and juices are released, about 5-8 mins.
4. Add the tinned tomatoes and stir. Simmer under cover for 10 mins. Add half the stock and stir, then cover and simmer for a further 5-8 mins.
5. Add the ditalini and the rest of the stock, cover, and simmer until the pasta is just underdone, approx 8 mins.
6. Drain the tinned borlotti beans and add to the pot. Stir, cover and simmer for 3 mins until beans are heated through and pasta is cooked.
7. Season and serve.

This will taste much better the next day after the flavours have had time to develop. If the soup isn't tomato-ey enough for you, add a little tomato puree at stage 3.
>> No. 11030 Anonymous
5th November 2014
Wednesday 5:19 pm
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I made a roux this time, possibly. I haven't looked that word up, I just added flour to some hot butter and bacon fat. Close enough. Then chucked sliced garlic to caramelise, followed by about half a pint of milk stirred in, followed by a bunch of cheddar and mozzarella. Stirred that in, then poured it over the macaroni, freshly crisped bacon and some jalapeños. Added a few pinches of freshly ground pepper, put the mixture into three little bowls, grilled them at 200 for three minutes. A pinch of mozzarella on top with a pinch of pepper on top of that for looks, then another three minutes in the grill.
>> No. 11031 Anonymous
5th November 2014
Wednesday 5:20 pm
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The bowls were too hot to handle so I had to serve them on this tiny chopping board.
>> No. 11067 Anonymous
29th November 2014
Saturday 7:36 pm
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Apologies, the scanner didn't get the very bottom of the recipe. I did this at the library and didn't realize the mistake, til I got home.

The rest of the recipe is as follows:

300 ml veg stock or water
50g peas
Black pepper

I've had this with and without the tofu and apple. The tofu doesn't add enough to the flavour to justify its price. Also the apple doesn't do much either so feel free to leave these out if you want.
>> No. 11068 Anonymous
29th November 2014
Saturday 8:13 pm
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I'd give you a recipe but I think I'm too drunk to cook.
>> No. 11069 Anonymous
1st December 2014
Monday 8:19 pm
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Last night's dinner. Improvised chicken dish:

- Chicken breasts, chopped into chunks

- Marinaded for an hour or so in:
Garam masala spice mix (Tesco brand)
Black pepper
Dijon mustard
Garlic (Prechopped from a jar)
Lemon juice
2 Scotch bonnets, finely chopped.

- Fried all that for ~20 mins, in olive oil.
- Added some milk to make a bit of sauce. Had no yoghurt or cream to hand.

- Simulateounly boiled some brown basmati.

This could've then been served as rice with chicken/sauce on top, but I like to mix everything together. So I preceded to mix everything together, and served in a large bowl.

It was honestly one of the most amazing things I've ever cooked. It literally put a smile on my face due to how delicious it was. I will be repeating this during the week, except with red chillis instead of scotch bonnets.
>> No. 11070 Anonymous
8th December 2014
Monday 12:54 pm
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Can you use curry sauce instead of curry paste?
>> No. 11142 Anonymous
14th January 2015
Wednesday 7:28 pm
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Proper nice turkey burgers

For one:

· 120g of turkey mince
· 1 chilli pepper, chopped finely
· 30g onion, chopped finely into small bits
· (optional) mushroom chopped into small bits
· mixed leaf crunchy salad
· bell pepper
· 2 slices of danish bread
· mixed herbs, salt, pepper, other spices of your choice

Begin by chopping the onions, chillis, and mushrooms up.
Sautée for a couple of minutes.
Put in a bowl, leave to cool for a minute or two.
Meanwhile, chop up the bell pepper and prepare the salad.
Add the turkey to the bowl with all the spices and herbs, a dash of oil and a sprinkle of flour if you have some.
with your hands, mix thoroughly but not too much.
Once satisfies with the mix, take out of the bowl and form into either one large or two small burgers.
Grill/fry for ~6 mins a side on high heat (or until you are satisfied it's cooked through).
Meanwhile, toast the bread and put a thin layer of butter/marge on if you want. Put the salad on the bread and press down. Then, do the same with the peppers.
Finally, put the cooked burgers on top of that.
Drizzle with a sauce of your choice and serve with whatever veg. I chose broccoli.

Absolutely fucking delicious.

Nutrition for people who like that.
>> No. 11144 Anonymous
14th January 2015
Wednesday 7:31 pm
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Why no egg?
>> No. 11145 Anonymous
14th January 2015
Wednesday 7:32 pm
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I didn't have any in. Egg would help bind them, though, as they do fall apart quite easily without the egg.
>> No. 11155 Anonymous
15th January 2015
Thursday 8:44 am
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Burger puritan here, thoroughly mixing your mince will develop myocin; a binding protein removing the need for egg or breadcrumbs.
>> No. 11157 Anonymous
15th January 2015
Thursday 11:32 am
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So I was fine without the egg, then?
>> No. 11163 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 9:55 am
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you said they fall apart easily, egg/breadcrumbs/working your meat would have cured this, I've spent the last year experimenting with creating burgers and sausages, and I've made some tasty lil buggers that had terrible texture or bad structure so I say as long as you enjoyed it you did fine ladm8
>> No. 11165 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 12:51 pm
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>egg/breadcrumbs/working your meat
Ideally, all three. Burgers falling apart during cooking is as irritating as breaking the yolk when frying an egg. Why take the chance, I say.
>> No. 11166 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 6:28 pm
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How To Use Mega Thick Sliced Loafs

Toast a slice like it was normal bread, then when it's "done" slice it diagonally and scrape out the untoasted bit from the middle. Now stuff that space with brie, or maybe another cheese but I've only used brie. Gently press down on the stuffed slices, maybe tuck the cheese in with the flat of a knife. Now put it in the microwave for just long enough to get the brie nice and melty, but not all gross and bubbly (I just played it by eye) and you've basically made a toasty. Oh, and stand them on end so the cheese doesn't melt out onto the plate.

I think this is a new idea, it's new to me at least.
>> No. 11167 Anonymous
17th January 2015
Saturday 4:14 pm
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Can't you just, uh, make a toastie?
>> No. 11168 Anonymous
17th January 2015
Saturday 4:59 pm
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Well, no. Not without a toasty maker, right?
>> No. 11171 Anonymous
17th January 2015
Saturday 6:32 pm
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Lah di bloody dah.

>> No. 11179 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 1:43 am
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A George Foreman makes a better toastie than a toastie maker.
>> No. 11180 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 1:59 am
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Despite the fact it's six months old and only has 77+ replies that image still defines. gs for me.
>> No. 11181 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 7:39 am
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2013 was 6 months ago?
>> No. 11182 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 8:06 am
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Maybe he's a United fan and 2014 never happened to him.
>> No. 11184 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 8:23 am
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Did you see that LUDICROUS display last night?
>> No. 11186 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 1:12 pm
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I've asked a few friendly Japs about the malt vinegar thing and they said they had no idea what it was about, it wasn't a British stereotype they knew of. Maybe they were telling the truth or maybe they thought my precious British ego couldn't take the malt-vinegar mocking.
>> No. 11206 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 5:14 pm
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Oh my shits, shops run by muslamics are amazing. a kilo of shrimp and a kilo of squid for a tenner.
>> No. 11207 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 5:28 pm
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Yeah, but I bet they were martyred. Every bite an added motivation for ARE ISIS.

I'll get my hijab...
>> No. 11208 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 8:11 pm
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Arsenal always try to walk it into the net
>> No. 11209 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 9:04 pm
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Careful, lad. They may be crusty slugs instead of shrimp.
>> No. 11226 Anonymous
8th February 2015
Sunday 11:15 am
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I'm having a go at chickpea fries, but I've misread the ingredients so you might want to scale this down unless you're serving to a dozen people.

Crush 3/4 cloves of garlic and place it into ~1.9l of boiling water. Slowly mix in 540g of gram flour (I picked up a kg bag from Morrisons for just over £1) until it ends up like very thick custard and there's no lumps. Put it in a glass bowl, wait for it to cool before covering it in cling film and bunging it in the fridge for a few hours. When it's set cut it into chips and fry. Mine's in the fridge at the moment, it smells and tastes like rubbery mash potato which I guess is a good thing.
>> No. 11407 Anonymous
15th May 2015
Friday 5:25 pm
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Seems like adding cheese when you're doing DIY garlic bread is a great idea. I'm probably going to be ill now but who cares. Some sort of peppered cheddar and mozzarella.
>> No. 11414 Anonymous
28th May 2015
Thursday 12:38 am
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Cream of Mushroom Soup with Condensed Onions and Shallots

- 300-450 gr brown button mushrooms, sliced
- 3 midsize onions, sliced
- 3 shallots, sliced
- 1 spring onion

- a few tsp. of plain wheat flour
- 1 pint of water
- 3/4 cup of double cream
- 1 teaspoon of tomato paste
- a few dollops of butter
- 1 tablesp. of grated Parmesan cheese (Grana Padano will do as well)
- 1/2 tablesp. of Philadelphia cream cheese
- salt
- pepper
- Italian herbs mix
- vegetable stock
- dry (Italian) white wine
- red wine

Sautee the onions in a bit of butter in a smallish pan with a high rim until light brown, stirring constantly. Then first douse with a gulp of the white wine, allowing it to evaporate for a moment while still stirring, then add the shallots and just about cover with vegetable stock.

The onions and shallots must now simmer with a lid at low heat for approximately an hour, until they have turned brown and sticky. Add drizzles of water repeatedly as needed. This bit is a bit tricky, but if you get it right, you will be rewarded with a deliciously sweet onion flavour that you just won't get otherwise.

Meanwhile, fry the sliced mushrooms in another pan with a dash of salt and let simmer under a lid for a few minutes.

Then, in a separate pot, make your soup by starting out with a roux and then by gradually adding more water and flour and working your way up, whisking vigorously by hand so any flour clumps will dissolve, and adding the teaspoon of tomato paste somewhere along the process. Once you have a sufficiently thick texture, add some salt, a dash of pepper, a bit of vegetable stock, a dash of herbs, a hint of red wine, and finally the double cream, the Parmesan and the Philadelphia cheese. Lastly, add the fried mushrooms (including the liquid that may have collected in the pan from frying) and the condensed onions, stir gently, and let sit for about half an hour. Briefly reheat and stir gently. Sprinkle with chopped spring onion before serving.
>> No. 11927 Anonymous
2nd February 2016
Tuesday 12:32 pm
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>Lad, recipes are mostly bollocks. Ignore whatever times are listed because it's completely arbitrary in relation to what you're doing, your cooker is different, the pan is different, even the thickness and size of what you're cooking is different.

>Use common sense, if something is supposed to take 1hr, and you know your oven is shite, check at 1hr, had a prod, and put it back in for 10 minutes extra.
>> No. 11928 Anonymous
2nd February 2016
Tuesday 12:52 pm
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Do this, but put cream cheese on both sides of both slices of bread before frying.

Thank me later, when you're in hospital with coronary failure...
>> No. 12078 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 7:38 pm
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Super Easy Delicious Risotto

-Cook some mushrooms in butter with, salt, pepper and a bit of garlic.
-Bang a can of Heinz mushroom soup in when they're about done.
-Dump a load of rice in, and let it simmer until it's cooked. Add milk if it dries up or gets too stodgy.
>> No. 12079 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 10:48 pm
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This sounds nice. I'll give it a go on Monday. Cheers!
>> No. 12144 Anonymous
1st November 2016
Tuesday 1:17 pm
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This site has easy, cheap, healthy dishes.


If you live in the West Midlands, you go on their free course with free food. It's all government funded.
>> No. 12145 Anonymous
1st November 2016
Tuesday 5:55 pm
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That's a really good idea.
>> No. 12211 Anonymous
23rd January 2017
Monday 5:18 pm
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Other than now having to dispose of a pan full of hot oil and gunk, making mozzarella sticks is pretty easy.

Dash of water and a couple of eggs beaten in a bowl. Some of those pre-crumbed breadcrumbs. That cheap mozzarella that doesn't fall apart, Sainsburies sell bricks of it. Chop the cheese into whatever shapes, dunk it in the egg, then the crumbs then do that again (just doing it once isn't enough and it flakes off in the oil). Chuck them two at a time in some oil that's hot enough to sizzle when you drip a little of the egg stuff into it, for 15-30 seconds until golden brown. Fish them out somehow and put them on some kitchen roll to absorb the extra oil.

They're okay, nothing special. I think some seasoning mixed into the crumbs would improve it a lot, salt especially.
>> No. 12302 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 6:26 pm
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Fuck, this was me being desperate, and injured in my right arm. Fuck it was beautiful.

1) Take saucepan. Put on hob.

2) Chop an onion, garlic, Chinese broccoli (or any leafy green one wishes), half a head of garlic, half a pepper, a chilli, bacon.

3) Fry.

4) Make some Me Goerong instant noodles (or whatever.) Add spice mix, chili powder, pepper and salt to saucepan. Oxo/stock to taste.

5) After 15 min tops, add contents of pan to 2 bowls of noddles.

6) Enjoy.

This, I have finally realised, is how you eat instant noodles. Fuck was that lovely.
>> No. 12303 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 2:52 am
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>Fish them out somehow
Bit late to this, but you want one of these (attached). They're called a wire skimmer.

>This, I have finally realised, is how you eat instant noodles.
Sounds good. I've never gone that far but I do occasionally do egg drop noodles (toss in an egg to cook in the water when you're boiling the noodles, takes a bit of learning but it won't take more than a go or two to figure it out). Works best with a duck egg, their yolk is really rich and complements the otherwise rather artificial "umami" (MSG) of flat-pack instant noodles.
>> No. 12304 Anonymous
28th June 2017
Wednesday 2:08 pm
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I got a slotted spoon, it does just as well.

Turns out you can buy 2.3kg tubs of hot lime pickle.
>> No. 12327 Anonymous
9th September 2017
Saturday 6:21 pm
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I noticed some sausage meat in a bag in Sainsburies so I made some Scotch Eggs. Well. Auld Alliance eggs (I added mashed French garlic to the meat). Plus finely diced bacon and a couple of jalapeños from the garden.
They don't taste a lot like store-bought Scotch Egg;, a different sort of flavour entirely but damn they're good.
>> No. 12328 Anonymous
9th September 2017
Saturday 10:07 pm
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They look tremendous.
>> No. 12386 Anonymous
21st November 2017
Tuesday 7:10 pm
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I tried making my own bread but I used a recipe for naan and didn't have the right ingredients so just mostly made it up. It's not bad, a bit dense. I made it into mini bacon and cheese sarnies.
>> No. 12387 Anonymous
26th November 2017
Sunday 8:45 pm
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The best pudding ever:-

• One sachet of chocolate mousse mixture. I recommend Green's.

• A few drops of orange extract. I recommend Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Valencian orange extract.

It's like an incredibly intense version of Terry's chocolate orange. Seriously, it's the tits.
>> No. 12388 Anonymous
26th November 2017
Sunday 9:56 pm
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>I recommend Green's
>> No. 12389 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 7:49 pm
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After a tiny bit of trial and error I think I've cracked the best vegetarian lasagna, if it can be classified as such.

• Roast peppers with a fucktonne of oil. I suggest two sweet red pointed peppers and three yellow/red/orange bell peppers.

• When you're done with the oil use it to fry five or six shallots. After they're nice and soft add in one tin of chopped tomatoes and one tin of plum tomatoes. Let them cook for a while before going at them with a masher. Add any tomato puree or salt as you see fit.

• Cook at least one big bag of spinach. When they've wilted mix in some form of soft cheese; ricotta works best but you can use any soft/cream cheese spread instead.

• Mix most of the tomato sauce with the peppers and use this for the bottom two layers of the lasagna. Use the cheesy spinach layer as the middle and the remaining tomato sauce on top.

• Top with cheese and/or breadcrumbs.

• Eat.
>> No. 12430 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 10:16 am
12430 Ultimate veggie carbonara
Step 1 - Remove stalks from a pack of mushrooms. Lightly brush them in oil, crushed garlic and black pepper. The best thing to do with them is to smoke them, which either requires living in the American Midwest, having a barbecue or either experimenting with your grill or burning something in the bottom of a wok (which you've double lined with tinfoil first) whilst having the mushrooms hovering on top on a wire rack with a lid over them.

Step 2 - Cook 500g of linguine until it is also dente.

Step 3 - Crack four eggs into a bowl and mix them together. Mix cheese, preferably pecorino or another Italian hard cheese but mature cheddar works too, until it's all thick and gloopy.

Step Four - Scoop out a cup full of the pasta water before draining it, but don't shake it completely dry.

Step Five - Mix everything back in the pan. The heat from the pan should cook the egg mixture without scrambling it. Add more cheese to taste and a little of the pasta water if it's not at the desired consistency.

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