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>> No. 32916 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 1:08 am
32916 Dating Moans
I thought we should just make a thread to moan and talk about the dating scene. There seems like 2 of us who are now on the arse-end of it in our 30s so I thought we could at least serve as a warning for others.

My moan is that a lass has just set a date for next Tuesday. I understand people are busy but I'm cynical enough that I'll let you know when she inevitably backs out for putting it too far into the future.
Expand all images.
>> No. 32917 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 2:55 am
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>>32916
There but for the grace of god, go I.
>> No. 32918 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 8:35 am
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Aye, me an' all. 31.

I think I've found a decent prospect already. Had one "date" a couple of weeks back but it was a blinder as far as first dates go. I'll let you know if I cock it up by opening my mouth about gender politics, or if she turns out to have deeply seated Mental Slag tendencies (and if she's interested in me, she probably does.)

I don't mind though. For probably the first time in my adult life I'm not that arsed about being single.
>> No. 32919 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 12:58 pm
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This is me isn't it? The French lass and I have started an "arrangement". Whoever misses a day doing their respective exercise routine has to buy the other some cheese.
>> No. 32920 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 1:03 pm
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I might be in this pool soon. At least the female friends I have are people I'd want to date anyway, so I can start there while obsessing over the wording of my tinder/bumble/hinge/feeld/get profile.

I just want a girl who's like me but in none of the bad ways, is that so much to ask?
>> No. 32921 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 1:16 pm
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Thinking about getting sectioned again. Within the context of a psychiatric inpatient unit, I'm quite a catch. I've got most of my own teeth and only one personality.
>> No. 32922 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 1:59 pm
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>>32921

I did shag a mental lass with BPD once for a few weeks, and while the sex was fucking amazing and incredibly frequent (she kept saying she only really felt alive while she was filled), I'm not sure I'd want to be with somebody again with such massive emotional issues. She needed a carer, not really a boyfriend. Because at the point where we were dating, she was just too messed up for any kind of stable relationship at all. Last I heard of her via facebook, she's now a chemical engineer and working for a major chemical corporation, so I'm honestly happy for her that she seems to be doing well these days. But boy, she was a mess.
>> No. 32923 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 2:58 pm
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>>32920
>obsessing over the wording of my tinder/bumble/hinge/feeld/get profile

Which one are we supposed to use now anyway. It seems like dating apps are a bit of a game of staying ahead of the curve at times.
>> No. 32924 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 3:35 pm
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>>32923
Stop ruining the dating pool for me, there's only so many women who'll take a man from the Sandwich Islands, and I'll be damned if I'm going to tell you where they can be found. The loss of whiplr hurt me enough, but now I'm really struggling to find decent platforms where you can find sex positive women who will let me call them 'mum' in bed.

I think fetlife is basically the big dog for alternative dating, but it's a primarily social experience and you just kind of hope you'll meet someone who you fancy and then pretend to be a decent person until they fancy you back.
>> No. 32925 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 5:22 pm
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It's the hope that kills you on these things. After a couple of months of being single I hopped back on Bumble at the weekend, spent all day Saturday talking to a nice Kazakhstani lass, we had a moan about our exes and it felt like she was at least a little interested in me, then the next day I messaged her and *poof*, she unmatched me instantly. I didn't even make any tediously obvious Borat jokes or anything. Oh well, she was out of my league anyway and was probably talking to a dozen or so other blokes, back to swiping through the rubbish heap of obese single mums and loony BPD types, I suppose.
>> No. 32926 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 6:59 pm
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>>32924
If you think about it a mum-fetish is quite easy to satisfy in the context of a committed monogamous relationship. You have your chores, a small rebellion (leaving the seat up) and she'll take you to Matalan to pick out your outfits like your mum used to do.

Join us, lad. There might not be any sex but you'll certainly be able to bash one out in the bog. Subject to Availability

>>32925
>It's the hope that kills you on these things

True, I'm constantly reminded of how hope was the last thing to emerge from pandoras box so as to prolong our torment. For me the worst one is where you've met a few times in person and you think things are going great only for her to do a complete 180 and bin you without even an explanation.
>> No. 32930 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 8:40 pm
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I was going to complain that there aren't any women who post on this site, but after reading all this fucking whining, I'm not so sure about that.

Perhaps we should give useful tips on solving our problems instead? I've heard ballroom dancing classes are a great place to meet women.
>> No. 32931 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 8:44 pm
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>>32930
The thread's called "Dating Moans" not "stuff you're really happy and satisfied about", what were you expecting?
>> No. 32933 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 9:24 pm
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>>32930
Slimming World.

>>/b/424490
>> No. 32935 Anonymous
23rd March 2022
Wednesday 9:18 am
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Well, turns out the lass I had a good feeling about is off to live at the other end of the country for at least a month.

That's a dead end isn't it. It'll be hard to keep any chemistry going that long just over text, and knowing my luck she'll end up getting a job over there and not even come back. Not knocking her at all for it, but the universe hates me like that, I can just see it.
>> No. 32936 Anonymous
23rd March 2022
Wednesday 9:36 am
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>>32935

A month? That's nothing. If you have chemistry already then it shouldn't be an issue.
>> No. 32937 Anonymous
23rd March 2022
Wednesday 9:43 am
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>>32936

Don't go giving me hope, prick. I'm trying to shield myself from disappointment here.
>> No. 32938 Anonymous
23rd March 2022
Wednesday 10:41 am
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>>32935
In a way it's paradoxical innit, its rational to shield yourself from the blow of this bullshit by keeping a few irons in the fire but that is in a way part of the problem with wasting other peoples time and getting sidetracked whenever there's a break.
>> No. 32943 Anonymous
23rd March 2022
Wednesday 1:25 pm
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>>32936

I dated a lass for three months who was based near Birmingham while I was living in London. We met at a mutual friend's birthday party in Birmingham.

I'm not saying things didn't progress beyond those three months because there were 130 miles between us. There were other factors at play that were much more a reason why it only lasted three months. But it certainly complicated things. I had the time and money to drive up the M40 every second or third weekend no problem, but she was still an apprentice and was struggling to make ends meet. A frequent train ride to London was a real pinch for her. And at some point, I guess we were both asking ourselves if we wanted to commit to that kind of long-distance relationship, especially when it started to show more and more that we were not the good match that we initially thought we were.

If she'd lived two miles down the road, maybe we would have kept up a tepid relationship for a good while longer. But I guess what I am saying is, if it's not really meant to be in the first place, then being more than two hours apart certainly won't help.
>> No. 32945 Anonymous
23rd March 2022
Wednesday 2:29 pm
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>>32943

If it's not really meant to be then I'm not sure what the problem is.
>> No. 32946 Anonymous
23rd March 2022
Wednesday 2:41 pm
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>>32943

It all depends what stage things are at already, I reckon. If you already have an established relationship and you both know you wnt to remain together, it's fairly easy to get through a period of separation like that.

But when it's just the early stages of dating, it's really not ideal. Unless things are really exceptional, you're not invested or committed enough to reasonably expect they won't still be persuing dates, and potentially meet someone else, so you're really just hoping that they don't. You'd be daft not to keep your own options open in that situation, but like otherlad said then you're in the catch 22 of trying to spin two plates at once, and not knowing if you should try hold out for the first one or take a punt on a new one.

Sure it might work out fine and you just pick up where you left off afterwards, but it still puts a speedbump in the process, and forces you to try artificially keep a vague sort-of interest going without seeming too keen in the meantime. Then again, it could also be a good thing, forcing you not to rush into things, and could make for a stronger bond in the end.

Who knows. But it definitely has the potential to be a dilemma, anyway.
>> No. 32989 Anonymous
28th March 2022
Monday 10:01 pm
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I just went on the most boring date of life, conversation like getting blood from a stone. Women have told me about guys like this before, ones who don't know what to say or are simply too shy, I didn't think I'd get one as a bloke.

Don't know if I should just try and get her out of her shell with another date or if I should just assume she's on britlez talking about some gobby cunt.
>> No. 32990 Anonymous
3rd April 2022
Sunday 11:36 pm
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I was talking to a woman on a dating app and things were going very well so I segued the conversation into what her perfect first date would be, she said something fun, thinking about it I said it's been awhile since I've been bowling and we could take out our frustrations on the pins (inside joke) if she was free sometime. Also that if we get drunk enough there's a karaoke bar nearby.

She then replies "something interesting and something to remember" which like, woman:
1. It's a first date, fucking why.
2. My mum says I'm a catch so I don't have to take that kind of shit, unless you have a legitimate reason you can take it or leave it.

Now before you get up to defend her, earlier she said that the UK has no mountains and that our wine is terrible. Don't worry I've already alerted Border Force.
>> No. 32991 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:04 am
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>>32990

Come on mate, you can't get away with bowling as a first date, even if it's one of those posh places with craft beer. It's just too much of a teenage cliche.
>> No. 32992 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:11 am
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She's right about the mountains.
>> No. 32993 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:23 am
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>>32991
So she's obviously boring as well, good point.
>> No. 32994 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:32 am
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>>32990
I think bowling is a perfect first date.
>> No. 32995 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 1:38 am
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I met a milf at a jazz club but I was about 7 pints deep and her whatsapp profile pic makes her look older and less attractive than I remember. She could be one of those people who look better in 3d real life than in photos.

What's the best move forward? I think a solid plan would be to invite her to another jazz club and then decide if I feel like zigging or zagging. At the very least it'd be nice to have someone to go to jazz clubs with.
>> No. 32996 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 4:43 am
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>>32995
That is a solid plan. Relatively harmless if it doesn't pan out romantically, and you still get a decent night out from it. Make her pretend she's your auntie.
>> No. 32997 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 11:42 am
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>>32990

I've noticed women on dating apps often have weird expectations for a first date. The main logical fallacy going on seems to be that they're getting loads of matches, which means they must be really special, and therefore they can afford to set a really high barrier to entry for dates. When in reality, that's just the nature of online dating, and the penny never seems to drop for them that actually, they're just getting loads of desperate blokes who swipe without even really looking.

I reckon that's why you get ones who say they want to do ridiculous shit like paintballing or skydiving for a first date anyway. Because I mean, bollocks, who's wasting that kind of money on a fucking Tinder match? I don't trust anyone for whom a quiet drink isn't a good enough first date. You can maybe throw something a bit quirky like mini golf or whatever as an ice-breaker, but come on. If you can't carry a conversation over a pint, I don't think there's much of a spark there to work with.

Anyway I'm just bitter 'cause I founda kinky one last week who spent all weekend texting me filthy messages about petplay, then last night did an about face saying she feels wierd and wrong about it. I'm going to have to resort to the singles ad threads on Fetlife at this rate.
>> No. 32998 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:24 pm
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>>32990
I didn't reply so she just folded and accepted to 'try it'. I chuckled but now I feel bad and will try something more, I guess what she wants is something romantic she can tell her girlfriends about.
>> No. 32999 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:29 pm
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>>32997
>Anyway I'm just bitter 'cause I founda kinky one last week who spent all weekend texting me filthy messages about petplay, then last night did an about face saying she feels wierd and wrong about it.

I feel your pain as a vanilla-lad. It's like trying to shag a cat with how flaky they can be.
>> No. 33000 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 1:24 pm
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>>32998

You could try for something unique that doesn't cost a lot. While I do have a few places I typically like to take people in my area, reliable quiet restaurants and cafes with a nice atmosphere, that only comes later on when I'm comfortable with them. I find the best *first* dates are the ones where both people are trying something totally new to them, so you're then having more of a shared experience.

One of my most fun first dates was going to a rugby match, which we'd both never done before. We barely knew the rules so it became more of an amusing and inept talk between us to try to work out what the fuck was happening. One-off novel events that happened to be going on in the area can also be good for this, as well. Live music or street food or weird artsy stuff, it all helps to get a conversation going so you're not just going through the "script" of a date.

Something as simple as unfamiliar cuisine can work if the girl is a foodie. I once went on a date with this very sweet Indian girl who had never tried sushi. She absolutely hated it, but we had fun anyway and I got to tease her about her expressions when she tried "raw" fish. I ended up taking her right next door for a big greasy pizza, and it became a cute anecdote during our little stint.

That's also a pretty good example of how fuck-ups can be endearing if you turn them around. I fell over spectacularly while ice skating on a date once. Rather than getting pissed off and embarrassed, I laughed it off and she became very caring. A couple of good ways to tell if a girl is into you: she'll laugh at even your shittest jokes, and she'll care about your wellbeing if you make an arse of yourself, regardless of whether it's funny.

Anyway, I don't think lasses are after any big, grand gestures on the first date, they just want to know a lad is putting a bit of thought in. We can debate about the fairness of that, but generally if I like someone enough to ask them to meet up, I like them enough to give a bit of thought to what could actually be fun for both of us. It both skips the pressure of dates feeling like a job interview for me, and it reassures the girl that this isn't just an "after a couple of easy meals out, I'll nob you and never text back" situation.
>> No. 33001 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 1:16 pm
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I've definitely peaked lads. Last night I shagged the fittest bird I have ever, and likely will ever, shag.

Funny one actually because I honestly thought I was square in the friendzone with her, and I was totally okay with that. I wasn't planning on fucking her, much less expected it ever to happen, but what do you know.

Anyway I should be walking on sunshine about that today, but this come-down/hangover is revolting, christ.
>> No. 33002 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 1:20 pm
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>>33001

>I wasn't planning on fucking her, much less expected it ever to happen

This is exactly why it did happen, I'll bet.
>> No. 33003 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 1:29 pm
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Went for a walk with the French lass. Still no clue what's going on in her head but she's good craic.
>> No. 33009 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 10:39 pm
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I had a lovely date with a beautiful woman (we talked about books and cats over wine) but from experience what happens now is I'll become smitten and then get burned. How do I escape this nightmare without incidentally sabotaging the chance for long-term happiness?
>> No. 33010 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 10:56 pm
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>>33009

Depends. You don't get anywhere without making yourself vulnerable and taking a risk.

First of all, what exactly is it you envision happening that'll lead to your eventual hurt? Second of all, intentionally remind yourself that she's not perfect, because nobody is.

Maybe she's one of those irritating hipster twats who only eats organic vegetarian food, so you'd never be able to cook, go to normal restaurants, or just have a lazy takeaway night with her. Maybe she slipped up and let out one of those bitter terminally-online fisherperson talking points that reveal her true power level. Maybe she's evasive about the question of what she does for a living, and says she's a freelancer working on starting her own business, when you know really that means she's a doley/student layabout who will turn out to be a complete liability further down the line. Maybe she mentions that her ex is getting sent to jail and then changes the subject to try sell you a 50 litre drum of diesel, and doesn't seem to want to elaborate why she has it.

You know, little things like that you look out for. Helps stop you falling head over heels too quickly.
>> No. 33016 Anonymous
13th April 2022
Wednesday 10:49 pm
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>>33010
>what exactly is it you envision happening that'll lead to your eventual hurt?

She won't feel the same way and I won't notice it until she leaves/ghosts me. There's been a lot of women like that for me lately whereas before covid I'd date a woman and usually end up in a relationship.

Anyway, I now have 2 other women lined up for the weekend while she's on holiday abroad. I don't know how players do it because this is exhausting and it's taken over night but it's security even if I feel like I'm being unfair. I assume I keep at all 3 until I sleep with one of them as vulgar as it is and that's cricket.
>> No. 33017 Anonymous
13th April 2022
Wednesday 11:19 pm
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>>33016
Single-lads, do get on the apps. It's actually getting annoying now how many women are looking for a date.
>> No. 33018 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 12:13 am
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>>33016

You kind of have to play the Goodnight Sweetheart game until one of them looks like a serious long term prospect. Don't allow yourself to get complacent unless you've actually had The Conversation. You know the one.

The thing I've noticed with women is that they absolutely do engage in casual sex, regardless of what any received wisdom about gender stereotypes and what have you might imply, but the thing is they will very rarely be upfront about it if that's all they're after*. They prefer to keep up the appearance like it's decent and proper courtship, so you essentially have to play along like it's leading somewhere but read between the lines and understand that it could just end abruptly for whatever reason when they've had their fill.

(*the only ones that do are the mental poly kink scene transqueer vegan rights activist types, so it should go without sying- steer well clear. They'll be up front about the situation but they're a headache in every other way you can think of.)
>> No. 33032 Anonymous
16th April 2022
Saturday 2:04 pm
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Took the French lass to a play, met a friend on the way there who said something like "You're basically going on a date aren't you?". When he was gone she asked if I wanted it to be a date, I said yes and after the play she came back to mine and we got maybe 2 hours of sleep.
>> No. 33033 Anonymous
16th April 2022
Saturday 3:28 pm
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>>33032

Buy that mate a pint because he knows the score.

If you ever bump into a ladm8 with a ladyfriend you haven't met, always give it the old "Are you two... You know" move, because it either nudges the ball over the line for him, or forces her to show her hand if it wasn't heading that way.
>> No. 33034 Anonymous
16th April 2022
Saturday 11:46 pm
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>>33033
I think I will.
>> No. 33047 Anonymous
18th April 2022
Monday 4:40 pm
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Lately I've been bumping into the problem of holidays. Women will either go on a date and reveal that they're about to take one or will reveal while messaging that they're currently on a two week holiday.

Usual stuff really, I know I'm not an ugly bastard because some are keen to maintain something but there's no way to maintain a connection.
>> No. 33048 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 9:50 am
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>>33047

Two weeks isn't long, if you've forgotten about each other and moved on after only two weeks it can't exactly have been an earth shattering first impression.

I'm still somehow maintaining connection with the lass who will be away til at least June. She keeps making remarks about staying up too late thanks to texting me, so I think that's a reasonably good sign.
>> No. 33049 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 2:02 pm
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French lass says she's scared of commitment so no labels [yet] but wants us to be exclusive and spending her birthday just the two of us. I think I may no longer qualify for this thread. Ta lads.
>> No. 33050 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 2:32 pm
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>>33049
>scared of commitment
>wants us to be exclusive

I'm happy for you, otherlad, but this is a little bit contradictory. I wouldn't press the issue too early on, as everyone needs time to get to know someone before they're comfortable saying "this is my boyfriend/girlfriend". The early stages are the fun part, anyway. However, it sounds like something you'll need to address at some point, if you're after something long-term.

What I'm warning against is: don't get too far into an open-poly-freelove-undefined-"it's complicated" trainwreck with a mental slag.

Unless that's what you want, in which case: good news for all involved!
>> No. 33051 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 2:44 pm
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>>33049

Congrats, but I will echo what otherlad said. Don't count all your chickens before they're in the same basket.
>> No. 33052 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 3:19 pm
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>>33050
>>33051

I hear you both. I'll not be unnecessarily shocked if it goes tits up from here but it seems to be what we both want, while still being cautious about rushing into anything. So long as we're not seeing or chasing after other people I'm not too fussed what it's called.
>> No. 33066 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 12:12 am
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So I complained a while ago that I had just hit it off with a lass when she had to move away for a period of time.

Well, it's been a couple of months now and we're actually managing to maintain pretty good contact. Texting pretty often, spoke over the phone a few times, sending each other photos of what we're up to and all that. We had a couple of deep, rather intimate conversations recently, and just lately, she even started putting an x after saying goodnight. (I know, I know. I won't buy the engagement ring just yet, but you know what I mean.)

Anyway, I feel like it's reasonably safe to say she's still interested, I'd even venture to say she's keen. It's just the whole thing has veered wildly off the usual script, and I don't like it. I'm having to make it up as I go along here, and I can't tell if it's just because it hasn't happened like this for a long time, or if I am actually Developing Feelings.

Fucking hell lads, I think I've gone and got sucked into an actual romance.
>> No. 33109 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 12:13 am
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What are the best ways to let someone down gently if I decide they're not shaggable on a date? Just give me some stock phrases that won't make me sound like too much of an arsehole or a woman and won't cause a scene, thanks.
>> No. 33110 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 12:23 am
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>>33109
Well it's a school night so just tell her you have to get up early tomorrow when she offers it. Then text her the next day saying that you she's a great girl but you don't you think you have good chemistry together.

No point in stopping a good time if you're both already dressed in your best capes.
>> No. 33111 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 8:48 am
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There's not enough /101/ here.

I hate it when they talk for a bit then ghost when you ask to meet.

I especially hate it when they talk for a bit, get all sexual, then ghost when you ask to meet.
>> No. 33112 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 10:47 am
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Every woman I meet is going to the Canary Islands lately. Posted in /101/ because I'm getting cockblocked by an archipelago that requires me to maintain some level of conversation over a week.
>> No. 33113 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 10:58 am
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>>33112
To clarify; they do come back, it's almost like some test.
>> No. 33114 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 7:08 pm
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>>33111

I find it pretty finny sometimes when they'll soft-ghost you, where they just stop responding and don't block you or whatever, then pop up again a couple of weeks later.

Clearly what's happening is that they matched with someone they thought was fitter, then they turned out to be an arsehole and decided to fall back on the back up plan.

One thing I have noticed though, is that it really is true how the more blase you are about lasses, the better your chances. It's annoying because that's what all the PUA redpill whatever lot always say, and people get very bumsore about it, but it's absolutely true.
>> No. 33115 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 7:50 pm
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>>33114
>One thing I have noticed though, is that it really is true how the more blase you are about lasses, the better your chances.

I think there's a bit of a balance, like obviously don't be needy and desperate but also you do need to show a bit of interest. I think I'm often too blasé and often can't be arsed to message out of laziness, apathy and a distaste for the slow soul grinding nature of the apps.

Think a lot of it is just down to luck and timing as well, like you happen to match or message or receive a message at the right time when both parties are in the mood/bored enough to wanna message back and build a quick rapport.

I think I've just induced a ghost from a stupidly pretty girl who seemed interested coz I couldn't be fucked to message back for the best part of a week. Ah well.
>> No. 33117 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 1:50 pm
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>>33115
I've just been struggling with the balance between being interested and personable without being overly keen. It's quite a tough line as you can't just be wildly inconsistent, you need to balance it well.

I can carry an interested conversation but it's always pretty obvious I'm only engaging because there's a level of attraction. It's a bit harder to be strategically aloof.
>> No. 33118 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 2:05 pm
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>>33117

I know it can be difficult to get anywhere at all, but be careful not to turn it too much into a science. You're not trying to minmax a speedrun by showcasing the right formula of interest, you're trying to find someone you have a genuine connection with.
>> No. 33145 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 10:22 am
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Condoms are bollocks. It's like some plot to stop people sleeping around because nobody can be arsed with it.
>> No. 33146 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 10:49 am
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>>33145
It just sounds like you're upset because everyone else has a condom fetish and you don't.
>> No. 33147 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 11:27 am
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>>33145
Condoms are a tool of the bourgeoise to protect their wealth from the Child Maintenance Service and nothing more.
>> No. 33148 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 11:37 am
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>>33145

The only times I've ever actually used them are when I've been in a relationship with a girl and she came off the pill etc. No chance of being able to use one with a one night stand, when you hardly know each other, the chemistry just isn't there to be able to get one on without the mood instantly evaporating and your cock going soft.

I've not exactly shagged around a lot though, and I can test myself at work without the embarrassment of going to the clinic. I dread to think how many people are just going around infected with god knows what, though.
>> No. 33149 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 11:53 am
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>>33148
>I dread to think how many people are just going around infected with god knows what
You may well, but you're probably also afraid of flying. Everyone knows how the government exaggerated the dangers of drugs, but somehow not how they did the same thing for STIs.
>> No. 33150 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 12:11 pm
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>>33149

Go on?

Come to think of it I have always had the same "fuck it, you're not supposed to but who cares, it probably won't kill me" attitude to unprotected sex that you would have to drugs.

I wouldn't be saying that if I was a gay bloke mind you.
>> No. 33151 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 12:12 pm
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>>33150

FACT : women can't have aids
>> No. 33152 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 12:25 pm
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>>33150

Gay blokes have mostly stopped using condoms because of Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. It turns out that antiretroviral medication is pretty much 100% effective in stopping you from catching HIV. It was quite useful timing, because the introduction of crystal meth to the gay scene has caused a massive increase in risky behaviour.

https://www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/prep-pre-exposure-prophylaxis
>> No. 33153 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 12:31 pm
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>>33151

It's about the size of the population.

94% of people in the UK are straight, only 3% are gay. In 2020 the number of new HIV cases in straight people was 1,010; while the number of new cases in gay people was 940. Proportionally, that's a massive disparity.

As a gay man you are an order of magnitude more likely to encounter somebody with HIV than as a straight man, which makes it much more important to be conscious of safe sex.
>> No. 33154 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 12:32 pm
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>>33148
>No chance of being able to use one with a one night stand, when you hardly know each other, the chemistry just isn't there to be able to get one on without the mood instantly evaporating and your cock going soft.

Well if we're all sharing secrets; the reason for the complaint is I brought a girl home last night after the fourth date and lost it with the condom on so had to spend the whole night fingering her and eating her out. I did manage to get some hammering in but I felt nothing. We just went to bed and I ultimately missed watching Eurovision with you lot for a couple of those tugs where you just takeover to do the job properly.

I'll try a bigger size but I hope she goes on the pill for this.
>> No. 33155 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 12:38 pm
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>>33154
You want to encourage an IUD, not the pill.
>> No. 33156 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 1:15 pm
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>>33155
I've not known a single woman to use an IUD and I wouldn't even know how I'd approach that conversation. Plenty have given me a guilt-trip on how the pill changes them hormonally but, and feel free to disagree, women are pathologically averse to absolutely anything going on with their vagina.

Not that I can blame them, I'd be equally apprehensive about someone sticking a shard of copper down my jap's eye.
>> No. 33157 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 1:16 pm
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>>33154

It's about the interruption of the flow I find, it works alright if the lass is willing to put more work into keeping you horny, but then again it often seems like most lasses are actually pretty lazy in bed so that's not something you can really rely on. You know you've got a keeper though, if she's willing to turn up the dirty talk and make the act of putting on the johnny part of the fun.

I could make an entire /101/ post about that in itself though to be fair. The number of lasses I've been with who will complain that men are too impatient and don't do enough to warm them up, yet when the shoe is on the other foot the most they can be bothered to offer is five minutes of half-arsed hand shandy and an extremely reluctant blowie if you push for it.
>> No. 33158 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 1:22 pm
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Who the fuck is losing an erection from simply putting a johnny on? I know they aren't everyone's preference, but if this is happening frankly you should either see a GP or you don't really fancy the bird in the first place. Christ alive.
>> No. 33159 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 1:59 pm
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>>33158

When you're past a certain age and you've had plenty of sex with plenty of different women, one tends to find that the mere prospect of putting your willy in a moist hole isn't exactly remarkable enough to make you rock-stonking hard by itself any more. That's perfectly normal, and isn't something to waste a GP's time with.
>> No. 33160 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 2:01 pm
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>>33159
I bet you went bald as well.
>> No. 33161 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 2:06 pm
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>>33160

No mate, I've got hair down to my arse, and it's exactly what keeps attracting cluster B disaster slags to me like moths to a flame.

The reason I find it difficult to maintain an erection is because my knob is just too big, you see. I'd need the cardiovascular strength of an Olympic cyclist to keep it up reliably.
>> No. 33162 Anonymous
15th May 2022
Sunday 9:37 pm
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>>33158
>or you don't really fancy the bird in the first place

Your dad still managed it didn't he.
>> No. 33163 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 4:26 am
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I found early on that a regular condom would cause me stiffy issues, even as a full on turbohormone teen. The "large" always felt better.

I by no means have a large knob, I suspect it's a psychological thing of it feeling too tight. I don't care what people say about the "it being too tight is bullshit, I can fit one over my head" argument, the large ones are markedly more comfortable, without actually being loose enough to fall off or anything like that. Even in my twilight years at 33, I have not had any erection issues with any johnnie marketed at the larger member, despite having a bang average knob.

This is all perhaps down to my formative condom experiences being with the free Pasante ones you got down the clinic, but at this point it's too late to change my ways.
>> No. 33164 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 5:25 am
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>>33163

MyOne make condoms in 66 different sizes.

https://myonecondoms.co.uk/
>> No. 33165 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 5:52 am
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>>33164
Couldn't they just make three more?
>> No. 33166 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 2:24 pm
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My dating life is a bit like the set up to a racist joke at the minute. I've got a Mexican, a Pole and a Czech girl in my inbox, but no English birds seem interested.

What does this say about me?
>> No. 33167 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 2:29 pm
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>>33166

Are they in Mexico, Poland and the Czech Republic, or do they already have visas?
>> No. 33168 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 2:38 pm
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>>33167

The Slav girls are both settled here, since pre-Brexit. The Mexican one is some sort of PHD student or something.
>> No. 33169 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 2:42 pm
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Expose yourself.jpg
331693316933169
>>33166
I'm in a similar boat with a Mexican, Chinese and Nigerian. I used to put it down to living in London but I think I'm genuinely a bit of a xenophile. Plus foreigners tend to forgive 'spergy behaviour as being British.

Interesting to see the cultures at work, Asian women are brutal about weight but Mexican women don't give an empanada so long as you make them laugh.
>> No. 33170 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 3:33 pm
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>>33169
Why's that Chinese lass wearing expensive silken robes and a shitty peasant hat. 2/10, do better next time.
>> No. 33171 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 4:55 pm
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>>33169

>Plus foreigners tend to forgive 'spergy behaviour as being British.

I think that's most of it. Not necessarily spergy behaviour, because I do alright adopting a veneer of normalcy when it comes to dating, but probably just because they don't instantly recognise the subconscious cultural signifiers a British bird would about your social standing etc. Plus being a foreigner in a foreign country presumably puts you on the back foot socially yourself, so you're not going to discriminate against someone who seems like a bit of an outsider too.
>> No. 33172 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 5:11 pm
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>>33171
Agreed it's a factor but not 'most'. We're more sensitive than eastern european lads from what I've seen.

>subconscious cultural signifiers a British bird would about your social standing etc
I'm not sure how important these are outside of very small bubbles. It's not like Polish birds are unable to tell that a VW Polo is less flashy than a BMW, or that wealthier people tend to have bigger houses.
>> No. 33173 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 5:55 pm
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>>33171

I think this is an unnecessarily negative spin to put on things. There are loads of other characteristics that those who are willing to date other cultures share apart from "outsider-ness". They could be curious, adventurous, open-minded, educated (to be curious about other cultures you have to be willing to learn a bit about them).
>> No. 33174 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 5:57 pm
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>>33172

>eastern european lads



>>33172

>I'm not sure how important these are outside of very small bubbles.

You can't buy your way into the middle class in this country, you can only learn it. You could be a billionaire, but you'd still be working class if you didn't have strong opinions about contemporary art and small towns in Tuscany. You've got a flash car? Good for you, but do you know the threshold for inheritance tax? Where did you go on your gap year?

Also foreigners struggle to tell who is a dweeb, because (with the exception of French and Italian urbanites) they're all a bit dweeby.
>> No. 33175 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 6:39 pm
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>>33174

Pretty much. I don't mean to sound all redpill about it, that's not what I'm getting at, but there are a lot of subtle cues a British girl is likely to pick up on whether she thinks she's actively looking for it or not. She'll sniff out instinctively if you're a chav in posh clothes no problem at all. And the same the other way around, actually, in fairness- A council girl would immediately be able to tell a middle class soft boy pretending to be a roadman.

Whether we like to think so or not, I think these kinds of factors do play a bigger role in dating than we'd like to admit. Especially with the way dating works nowadays where it's basically the same principle as getting through the filter algorithm of a job application. You might get on like a house on fire if you met in other circumstances, but the nature of the apps and such makes people more likely to pass over potential matches.
>> No. 33176 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 7:18 pm
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>>33175

> Especially with the way dating works nowadays where it's basically the same principle as getting through the filter algorithm of a job application

This, and it's sad. People have a gazillion times more opportunity to meet somebody than they did before the Internet, but being spoiled for choice that way has really changed the dating world. And first or second dates increasingly seem like first or second rounds of job interviews.

Before the Internet, if you wanted to meet somebody outside your circles, you actually had to put a personal ad in your local newspaper. I was a teenlad just before the Internet became widespread, and I remember hearing about a friend's older friend who was so desperately lonely that he decided to put out one of those adverts. Back then, there was really an air of desperation about that sort of thing. It was something that middle-aged divorcees and other loners did, but certainly not somebody who was 20-21ish. For better or worse, if you wanted to meet somebody new, you either had to chat somebody up at a club or take up a new hobby that would get you new acquaintances. In any case, you had to put in far more effort, and in some ways, I think that made dating a much more organic experience.
>> No. 33177 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 7:41 pm
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>>33173
I think we must also consider that any lass willing to jump through the hoops of moving here, including the outrageous NHS surcharge on-top of paying taxes for it, must have a thing for British lads or at a minimum our culture. It's not like they're coming here for the weather, property prices, work/life balance, bureaucracy, transportation infrastructure, cost of living, wages etc.

>>33174
I miss Russia.

>> No. 33178 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 8:36 pm
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>>33176

It's a terrible irony really - making it easier to meet people has made us all more lonely. The perception of infinite choice has made us less tolerant of the flaws that make us human. Tinder has turned us all into gooners, endlessly edging because we don't want to face the grim reality of a climax.
>> No. 33179 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 8:40 pm
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>>33177

I was watching one of those fly-on-the-wall police things and the officers were called out to a disturbance at a house. The place was full of Eastern European lads and the house showed the aftermath of total carnage - smashed furniture, black eyes, busted lips, blood on the carpet. The lads were absolutely adamant that there hadn't been a fight, there was no problem and they were all best friends. I have never been prouder of our Slavic cousins.
>> No. 33180 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 9:06 pm
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>>33177

>I think we must also consider that any lass willing to jump through the hoops of moving here, including the outrageous NHS surcharge on-top of paying taxes for it, must have a thing for British lads or at a minimum our culture. It's not like they're coming here for the weather, property prices, work/life balance, bureaucracy, transportation infrastructure, cost of living, wages etc.

I mean, I think the ones I've spoken to would disagree. I was talking about what parts of town I consider "rough" to the Mexican lass and she casually mentioned someone back home getting killed by the cartel. On the subject of the NHS, she mentioned that her mum had a broken arm once, and on the public service she'd have had to wait three months to get it seen to. I mean what the fucking hell do you do with a broken arm for three months?

While it's easy for this to drift off into the "there's children starving in Ethiopia!" type of rhetoric that a lot of conservatives like to trot out to excuse the shambles of our system, it's worth remembering just how good we have it, and spending time with people who come from really bad places will show that up.

So to go back to the whole cultural signal issue, it's just as likely that even if they are shallow materialists who want you to be rich- Working in the warehouse at Tesco and driving a '13 plate Focus might not impress anyone by British standards, but compared to what an average Mexican bloke calls a living, you might as well be Jeff Bezos. It must throw their radar off.
>> No. 33181 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 9:49 pm
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>>33180
You're thinking about it from the perspective of an absence and not instead a world of choice. Even in Mexico there's vast differences between states.
>> No. 33182 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 10:09 pm
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>>33181

It's all a bit of a swings and roundabouts thing when it comes to the difference between nice countries and shitholes, though. You might sit here thinking "why the fuck would somebody move to Britain and not New Zealand or Canada or Switzerland Germany, they must have really loved Doctor Who as a kid", but there are as many downsides to those countries as to our own. The reasons people chose to move to a place are often entirely pragmatic, not desire based.
>> No. 33183 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 1:14 am
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>>33178

>The perception of infinite choice has made us less tolerant of the flaws that make us human.

Exactly. And I'm not sure people are ready to accept them the way they did in our grandparents' generation, where people stayed together for many decades and just lived with the fact that whoever they were with may have been an absolute git in certain areas, but was in the greater scheme of things a good and decent person to be with.

My nan grew up in a Yorkshire village and married somebody from three towns over. It was more or less what everybody did. Back in them days, you had very limited choice, more often than not as a young person there were realistically two or three potential partners for you where you lived, and that was it. You then almost inevitably ended up marrying one of them. And I can't say my grandparents ever seemed greatly unhappy with each other. My nan even forgave my grandad after he had a few affairs.
>> No. 33184 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 12:21 am
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>>33183
If you put away the rose-tinted glasses though you soon see that such a world is fucking horrible. The problem isn't with the selection but that people are bad at knowing what they want in a partner and what really matters in general.

Start with the man in the mirror and embrace that fat lass who liked you on Hinge. Give her a shot. It's what otherlad did and look at how happy he is. If she's horrible then you leave her and try someone else, maybe having grown a little from the journey or at least having had some fun.
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