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|>>|| No. 23560
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.
With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.
Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
|>>|| No. 27320
> It's a different kind of appreciation and there will be little in common about your actual lives. Use it as a gateway to her pants obviously, but nothing more. You don't need to feel bad about it unless you start craving much more than shagging her.
I'd like to say that I've gotten soft in my old age, but to be honest I think I've always been kind of soft in this way; if I like a lass enough to shag her then I'm probably going to like her enough to want something a bit more.
I've got nothing morally or ethically against shagging girls for a week or a month and then just fading out of their lives, it just always feels a little bit sad-making for me. What was it that Holden Caulfield said? "Don't ever start shagging anyone. If you do, you start missing everybody"? Something like that, anyway.
> I'm old enough by now that I've "dated" a lass who was nearly a decade younger than me
The biggest age gaps for me were five years when I was 21 and the girl was 26 (and what an experience that was, I basically learned everything I know about shagging from those six months or so) and six years when I was 30 and the girl 24. I'm not sure how much of an age difference I could handle now, probably ten to fifteen years max before my own personal "this feels weird" alarms would start to go off.
I think if there's anything to be learned from all this it's that the constant reboots of popular culture allow us to build almost false rapports with people much younger than us due to the fact that we all share the same recycled culture that's been being spat out at us for the last eighteen years.
You can still shag university age girls today just by knowing about Harry fucking Potter for christ's sake. I remember when I had to memorize passages from Phillip Roth and Will Self novels in order to appear halfway shaggable to an English Lit student. How times have changed, indeed.
Sage for serious candidate for rambling post of the year.
|>>|| No. 27321
I see the age gap thing crop up on here a lot, but in my own experience, there's only so far you can go with 'we both remember pogs'. I saw a 20 year old for a bit when I was 28, if anything our different memories of childhood fads was a talking point rather than a brick wall. I think that sort of age gap isn't particularly massive though, we're essentially the same generation, only real difference is that the internet was slower for me. Maybe it's different for you 35+ year old lads who had a truly different childhood, at least in terms of the digital age.
There's better reasons to avoid uni age girls than cultural ones, though. Typically they just have no idea what they're on about and haven't worked out how to give a good blowie yet. And unless you're into the whole 'daddy' thing, teaching someone that sort of thing is a bit odd.
I think I'll stick with those hovering around 30 now, forever. Any younger and it's just weird once I'm wrinkly.
|>>|| No. 27322
> I think I'll stick with those hovering around 30 now, forever.
Dodgy vintage that for birds, unless you're into single mums with more baggage than a 747.
Really 24-27 is prime age for lasses no matter how old you get. Still young enough to be in good nick, experienced enough to be a lot of fun, but just old enough to not insist on dragging you out to tiresome clubs and will instead let you take them out for dinner before blowing your muck right up their chocolate bonbon factory.
|>>|| No. 27323
That's fair, I did sort of mean 30 would be the maximum. And in my neck of the woods if they have kids they had them in their teens, though I see your point.
I think I said 'around 30' as I'm sat looking at my missus and she's 30 in October.
|>>|| No. 27324
Eh, it's a moving target these days. 30 is "two kids and a council house" in my hometown, but it's "living in a flatshare and trying to get your career going" in That London. A lot of people I know are knocking on 40 and still miles away from settling down.
Personally, I think there's a lot to be said for older women. Guardian Soulmates is full of fit divorcees in their late 30s and early 40s. If you can overlook a few stretch marks and wrinkles, you can do very well for yourself. Some of my best dating experiences have been with professional single mothers, because they're too busy to play games - they just want a decent meal, a grown-up conversation and a good hard shag. It's like the highlights package of a relationship.
|>>|| No. 27330
You're right that seven or eight years isn't a huge gap in relative terms. But I think what I realised with my 21 year old ex (I'm 28 too funnily enough) is that things started moving a lot faster for her sub-generation. We had enough in common, but even though I was only a few years older than her really, at times I often felt like a bit of an old far when she was using some daft app that I had thus far dismissed as teenage bollocks or whatever; and we'd often get into arguments where she wanted to do things I advised her against out of honest concern and my own life experience, but did them anyway. People have to make their own mistakes, I couldn't expect her to listen every time, but when you're in a relationship, those mistakes often affect you too and it inevitably gets tiring.
She was alright in bed though. Probably just had a filthy mind because she'd been deprived of attention through her chubby teenage years. I've always found it to be the case that lasses who get a lot of sex from an early age are the worst at it, and their current age isn't really a factor. If they have an easy time with blokes, they don't put the same level of effort in. The ones who do it properly are invariably the least slutty and most outwardly reserved in my experience. They take the time to work you out instead of assuming you work the same as every other lad they've noshed off. Shy, slightly chubby nerdy lasses are the way forward lads.
|>>|| No. 27333
I broke up with the Mrs a month or so back and whilst I'm mostly glad of it, doing alright, when I'm working on my own or have nothing to do I occasionally get into this cycle of thought that makes me quite angry and indignant about the whole thing.
I'm well over her and glad we broke up, but the way things panned out left her in the position to make me look like the bad guy, I'm the one having to try stay away from certain people and places in order to avoid a conflict. It's just bullocks frankly and I don't know what to do to stop myself seething about it on those occasions.
People just take sympathy for a lass without questioning it, and assume the bloke will be alright. I had very good reason to chuck her but it feels like nobody is really on my side and it's shit.
|>>|| No. 27334
I've found that people who have slept with loads of people seem to think everyone likes the exact same thing and just go through the motions.
|>>|| No. 27335
Christ yes, you've not lived until you've been the distinctly younger, sexual plaything of another hardened career woman who goes to hot yoga every Thursday, has well-researched opinions on which Guardian writers she'd gladly stab in the eye with a lit cigarette and would rather drop dead than introduce you to her teenage kids. Ah, Louise. How I miss thee.
|>>|| No. 27336
Barring the misogyny guff, I've realised I'm basically every /r9k/ stereotype in the book. Oh, I'm clean shaven as well. Whenever I try thinking about my problems I get so overwhelmed as to be rendered fucked, I really can't stand it. However, I'm sure I will anyway.
|>>|| No. 27377
I met a girl, we had a great time together. After 3 dates within a week and a half I can feel myself falling for her. I don't think I've ever felt this way about someone so soon.
Tonight she texted me saying it's been fun but she thinks she'd like to leave it now as she's "not interested in pursuing things". When I asked her what went wrong she says she's anxious in general, has a lot on at work and doesn't want to be "thinking about too many things I guess ?"
I wasn't expecting this.
|>>|| No. 27379
>I'm basically every /r9k/ stereotype in the book
What's it even like these days? I was there from pretty much the start until it started going to shit and turning into the gangbang of whining late on in 2008. It really was great in the very old days.
|>>|| No. 27381
Didn't /r9k/ only get founded in 2008 in the first place? It was originally an auto-moderated /b/ brought in to fend off the constant spam-posts without resorting to captchas. Didn't it turn into the gigantic aut-fest somewhere around 2011? Honestly my 4chan history is very, very patchy.
That is grim lad. Dating really is a wilderness sometimes, my commiserations.
|>>|| No. 27383
It was formed early 2008 and the first 7/8 months were some of the most enjoyable I've had on the internet; the community was great and highly creative in those days. It started going to shit around the time of the US election because we were simply too nice and we'd listen to people about their problems, which led to a deluge of people whining about relationships and the inevitable "bitches and whores" shitfest. It went from a place for slightly awkward people to dick around and have a laugh to basement dwellers shrieking about normies and sucking the fun out of everything. One of the last things I remember is moot trolling the board by pretending he'd been rejected by a girl after taking her to McDonald's for a date.
|>>|| No. 27384
I too remember old r9k fondly, it is a shame it will never return, it has place in the halls of golden ages of history alongside the late roman republic, and the enlightenment.
|>>|| No. 27388
I don't see the applicablity of coin debasement even in a metaphorical sense, (are you suggesting that lower quality posters joined, so people stopped putting the effort in to make better quality posts?)
|>>|| No. 27389
Yeah, basically. A relatively small proportion of shitposters and trolls can drag down the average quality of posts, driving away the better posts and starting a vicious cycle of declining quality. Some people will save their serious posts for a forum that isn't quite as trollish, some people will stop putting the effort in to make serious replies, some people will leave altogether, some people will get bitter and start acting like a cunt.
|>>|| No. 27391
I'd have said we had far more shitposters when this place was more active. There was always that one cunt who'd try shitting up every thread whilst getting the first post in.
The impression I get of this place at the minute is that there's a lot of lads lurking and ready to join in a conversation, but they won't start one themselves.
|>>|| No. 27392
Is it any surprise? Some lads here will cunt off about quite literally anything, derail a thread and then piss off.
The mods never ban them though and I'm honestly not sure why, they used to be much more stringent, but now some cunt will argue about a minor point and nobody cares, thread ruined, discussion gone, everybody moves on.
It's not hard to understand why.
|>>|| No. 27393
>The mods never ban them though
I've been here long enough to have learned that the mods are only ever either too heavy handed, or not banning enough. I can understand why it might seem like that from the outside, but I really don't see many things overlooked. I'm looking at the banlist now (I know, inherent bias here) and there's basically a ban a day on average. For our posting rate that a fair amount.
I'm really not trying to catch you out or anything by asking this - can you point to some posts you think should have been banned recently that weren't? Often someone will think a shitpost has gone ignored when actually some other post of theirs was the one with the ban label stuck on it.
|>>|| No. 27394
I'd have said the issue was that discussions become too specialised. For instance, if you're not interested in the likes of car maintenance, the restaurant trade or computer programming then at times you're completely stuffed because that's the only topic being discussed and you either don't have anything to contribute to it or don't want to divert the thread to something else whilst it's still being discussed.
I'm not complaining about that, mind. I've learnt a lot from you robot moon ovens. I think we simply need more threads so there's more than one active conversation on the go.
|>>|| No. 27395
>I think we simply need more threads so there's more than one active conversation on the go.
You're bang on there. Though /*/ changed our lives for the better, it did so at the cost of narrowing our focus.
|>>|| No. 27398
As a general rule, if people can tell you're moderating, they're going to complain about it. Try not to be noticed so much.
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 27400
The issue the poster was replying to was undermoderation, so that doesn't make much sense.
|>>|| No. 27401
You've kind of hit the nail on the head there. It sometimes seems like everyone on .gs but me is an expert who has done a master's degree in these things. Literally not just 'hi I'm posting in this thread because I have extensive experience in this and can provide some insight to this topic', but every poster talks like they are an authority.
I feel like an inbetweener, not nerdy enough for the general threads, and not moronic enough to find /iq/ funny.
|>>|| No. 27402
>but every poster talks like they are an authority.
I think this is a posting style that has been fostered over the decade or more of the site. We've always tried to be a bit more 'formal' and I think this has ended up with a subconscious, unspoken house style that we've all managed to fall into.
Thinking about it, though I talk about the same stuff on here as I do on, say, Reddit, I use a lot more slang, americanisations, and probably a bit less authoritative language on Reddit than here. I have a very strong idea of what a britfa post should look like, but Reddit can be all over the place, and my posting there reflects that.
Whether this is a good thing or not? Probably not. I remember being charmed by how different this place was compared to britchan etc back in the day, but perhaps we've painted ourselves into a bit of a corner now.
|>>|| No. 27403
I can't speak for anyone else, but I think the slow pace of the board affects my posting style. In a real conversation there would be a lot of "I reckon" and "if I remember rightly", but here I have time to fact-check myself and avoid the caveat. If I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, I can leave it for a couple of hours and come at it with fresh eyes, because the conversation probably won't have moved on. The slow pace naturally makes my posts more journalistic than stream-of-consciousness.
|>>|| No. 27405
An obvious example would be my comment here: >>/b/420459. I'm not some kind of mathematical savant, I'm just bored enough to whip out a calculator to do some pizza-related sums. You'd have to be fucking mental to do that in a real conversation or a Whatsapp chat, but it doesn't seem totally unreasonable on a board as slow and spoddy as .gs.
|>>|| No. 27406
It is pretty difficult to make a short, succinct post here. It feels like if you're putting in the effort to make a post, you may as well flesh the thing out. I
often find myself exploring every avenue of thought as I type out a post, and going back to re-structure and rephrase parts. Needless to say this is not something I'd do elsewhere, but it's part of what I find therapeutic about posting here. It's meditative, reflective almost.
I've often thought that the way I post here is comparable to what a diary would have been for people in the black and white days. You reflect and gather your thoughts, but with the added advantage that others can respond and give you different perspectives to consider. I try not to use the site as a blog, of course, but then again we have developed to a point that many posters will remember and pick up on things others have mentioned, even in some cases where they are not explicitly referring to it.
It has both benefits and drawbacks I suppose.
|>>|| No. 27407
>You'd have to be fucking mental to do that in a real conversation
I wish someone had told me this before.
|>>|| No. 27408
>I try not to use the site as a blog, of course, but then again we have developed to a point that many posters will remember and pick up on things others have mentioned, even in some cases where they are not explicitly referring to it.
This is very true. I've found I can genuinely identify certain posters just from the way they've written, even if they're not talking about something specific, and I'm sure I have my tells too. This familiarity is surely why I keep coming here, but it's also probably what puts newcomers off. I make a point to stay off /sentry/ until I've replied to posts, but when I do go on I'm almost always right about who I thought I was reading.
Maybe that's just me, though. I'd be curious to see if someone could intuit who I am from this post or point to another one of my posts, or if it's just my
autism uniquely sharp powers of deduction.
|>>|| No. 27409
A few years back I realised I was quite easily traceable through always posting images relating to pretty much a single quite specific topic and made a conscious effort to save a wider variety of random crap into the junk folder on my desktop. It would be really obvious for example if the chap who constantly needs to be reminded not to forgive his abusive parents in /emo/ and always posts a picture of goulash and the lad posting in /A/ about hating every second of his life that he is sober and always posts a picture of goulash are probably the same bloke.
(Using my own issues as an example with a made-up image topic obviously)
It's important to bear these kinds of things in mind especially with social conservatism threatening to make a comeback in a big way. Simply the fact that I hate my parents would have been enough for them to completely destroy me until frighteningly recently. Lobotomised, electro-shock treatment, locked up and forgotten about forever. Be careful lads.
|>>|| No. 27415
Someone ffixmy life for me, because I just can't do it by myself.
|>>|| No. 27416
What we need is a No.3 Philips head and 6 cans of Stella, we'll get the back off your bonce and have a good butchers and give the rigging the ol' tactical poke if needs must.
|>>|| No. 27417
How do I make friends? I've been going to uni societies and I just stand there in awkward silence unable to connect with anyone. Even though I share interests with them I just feel like a perpetual outsider.
|>>|| No. 27418
You can make your relationships more meaningful by allowing your emotions show a little more. I've found people are very pleased when you open up to them, provided you do it in a careful way.
|>>|| No. 27420
I think I'm going to go to the Christian Union's events, as people will talk to me with the ulterior motive of converting me to Christianity, but at least it'll give me practice talking to other people. And maybe I'll find salvation or something.
|>>|| No. 27421
As long as you don't end up in a cult (or worse, an anabaptist) I think there are worse things you could do than find a bit of Jesus in you. Just try not to get suckered in by the gay-bashing ones (really, really avoid the anabaptists). Actually, if you do become one of God's children, can you go to a service at the big gay church in Brighton and tell me what it's like? I've always thought it's taken far too long for the gay community and the Christians to move past their differences and finally bond over what they both clearly adore: silly hats and singalongs.
|>>|| No. 27424
I don't mean to sound like every shit counselor you've ever had, but sunshine really does me a lot of good, especially after spending all weekend in my dingy wank dungeon of a room.
Apt timing too given this could well be the last bout of sun this year.
|>>|| No. 27433
Going to quit my job. It'll be the third job I've quit after one shift in less than year. My mental illness is a real barrier to me being able to work, but I feel like a loser for letting it get the best of me.
|>>|| No. 27434
You're trying and that's all you really can do. If anyone tells you different they're not really concerned about your mental health.
|>>|| No. 27435
>but I feel like a loser for letting it get the best of me.
If you could implicitly control the effects mental illnesses have on your life, then they'd barely be illnesses at all. It's understandable that you feel this way, but as otherlad said, you're trying.
You've essentially done the equivalent of dragging yourself to a job as a postman with a fractured leg - you've got way fucking further than most in your situation would have.
|>>|| No. 27436
Jumped off the wagon on Sunday with another half baked suicide attempt that just left me passed out for thirty six hours. Again. Missed all my psych appointments so I don't have my meds. I feel like the biggest mug on earth, fighting back against a disease that can't be beaten.
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