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|>>|| No. 23560
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.
With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.
Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
|>>|| No. 24262
OP's picture looks like my Dad. I don't like my Dad. I call him David and he's a shit grandparent.
Despite all that, if he stopped being a histrionic child, I'd make up with him in a second.
I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was young I spent a great deal of time with my Grandparents. We would visit one set on a Saturday and the other on a Sunday or sometime stay over for the weekend at one or the others. This was something I always assumed was at the core of his personality; being family orientated, but he has only ever seen his own Grandchildren on a handful of occasions and I can't figure out why.
We don't get along because he is a hypochondriac and doesn't like being challenged on anything he says or does, but why would that stop him going to see my Sister's kids?
It doesn't scan and I can't stop dwelling on it. Maybe it was my own Grandparents who pushed to see us, but even then if you were raised and lived in that environment of close knit family why would you estrange yourself on purpose?
|>>|| No. 24263
I call my dad "Dave", but I think that's just because I was an especially stupid child who got the words "dad" and "Dave" mixed up.
Sage for pointless posting.
|>>|| No. 24265
His parents are still alive. He is only punishing himself at the end of the day, they already call my Mum's partner Papa. If it is as something as petty as that, lets just say it wouldn't be out of character if other situations were taken into consideration. This is family though, which I always thought he put on a pedestal.
|>>|| No. 24293
You know that thing lassies do where they flirt with you and say things which give you the impression of being interested, but then also just blatantly ignore your communication for hours/days on end?
I try not to waste my time on them when they do this, clearly bitch is just using you for the occasional compliments and attention when she feels like it. But why does it have to happen with ones that you proper fancied too. You sit there like a dog waiting for its owner to come back from work like "Ah man why won't she just message back."
Fuck women man. Fuck 'em all to hell.
|>>|| No. 24301
I think your problem is one of percived scacity and not moving forwards. You put up with their bullshit because you don't see yourself as having other options. Meet more women, then you'll feel that you no longer need to dwell on the ones you currently know stringing you along because there will be other options.
Some of those women will be decent people who treat you with dignity, and you can have much more rewarding rapport with, and the ones currently causing you grief will become less important to you and your happiness.
|>>|| No. 24302
I appreciate the sentiment but to be honest, I don't have a problem per-se. I just wanted to vent a bit about lasses airing me. I'm actually a bit of a manwhore with the old dating apps.
It's just frustrating when you think you've found a really nice one who might even have more potential than just a quick shag, but then she turns out to be one of the ones who never responds.
|>>|| No. 24312
I'm with you there. No matter how much life experience I have, and how many women I've been with, it's still painful to be convinced she's into you then suddenly realise she definitely isn't.
|>>|| No. 24322
It might get better later, and even if it doesn't, you're going to die eventually anyway. The outcome is always the same in the end, you're just potentially missing out on the good parts. There's no rational reason to commit to such a decision.
It's like if someone offers you a lottery ticket for free. What have you got to gain by turning it down?
|>>|| No. 24399
You know that thing where you're just completely blagging it through life, and somehow you're just getting away with it all? You know, you bullshit all day at work, you lie your way through awkward situations, you make things up as you go along and hope it works out.
Does it ever get on top of you just simply how much you're completely, absolutely fucking phoning it in at times, but somehow totally getting away with it? I have this crushing paranoia sometimes that I'll turn up to work or sit down for a pint and they'll just collectively go "Look. We know you're a fraud. We're on to you."
I've always supposed it's because everyone else is going through life in the exact same manner, but I don't know lads. Sometimes I just have one of those days where I get away completely clean with something that I really should have been called out on, and I can't help but sit there questioning it all.
|>>|| No. 24404
'Good old neon' by David Foster Wallace is a great short story on this theme.
|>>|| No. 24555
Just going to bump this thread. For the first time in almost a year I've had actual isolated time to myself. It hasn't gone well. I had a lot of alcohol and it resulted in lots of shouting, bruised knuckles and lots of tears. For the past almostyear I've been socialising a lot, traveling through different countries and all that, I think it distracted me. Turns out that if I'm left by myself I'm exactly the same as before I set out to do all that, If that makes sense. Left to my own devices I think I'm just done and it's a matter of time.
You can't change the things that have happened to you, and past a certain point you can't change how they affect you. More importantly, you just don't care and whatever happens, happens. I'm fucking off elsewhere soon and I'm probably going to die in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in the world. I am ok with this, I think.
|>>|| No. 24793
Sounds like you were fine on your own devices until you started to drink.
|>>|| No. 24794
Christ lad. For some people that's a bit like saying "you were doing fine with all those sheep until you remembered you're a wolf". You can run half way around the world, you can reinvent yourself over and over again in new cities in new countries, you can fill your days and nights with wholesome activities and new friends and romances. You can do all that, but if right down at the honest basic sat in a dingy hotel room with my own company level you're a miserable, unhappy, slightly mad bastard then all of that is nothing but a great big psychic plaster just waiting to come peeling off.
I'm not even >>24555, btw, just a potentially kindred spirit in the void.
|>>|| No. 24795
>You can't change the things that have happened to you, and past a certain point you can't change how they affect you.
You can always change how you behave. Living a better life is just a series of simple choices. Take the drink or leave it, get some exercise or sit on your arse, share your feelings or bottle them up, wallow in self-pity or be grateful. If you're living in the past or worrying about the future, you're not giving your full attention to the choice you're making right now.
|>>|| No. 24796
Really? Because I think it's more like saying "You seemed to be fine until you introduced a large quantity of a chemical to your brain which lowers your inhibitions and leaves you feeling like shit physically and mentally for days afterwards".
There's some real pathological thinking you hear spouted every now and then about how alcohol brings out "the real you". No, it doesn't. Your inhibitions are just as much a part of you as the desires they hold you back from acting on. Who you are when you're completely bladdered is no more the "real" you than when you're communing with the machine elves.
Then, even when you've kicked the tangible hangover, it leaves you depressed. If he's recently gone out and had too much to drink and made a fool of himself then he's not going to be thinking clearly when he wrote that. Which is better than some sort of self-aggrandising bipolar bullshit about being a wolf among sheep. Remind yourself that you're not thinking clearly, until this happened you were doing ok, get some sunshine and back on the wagon.
|>>|| No. 24797
Huh, I forgot about this thread but for the previous posters, >24555 was me. For what it's worth it's not alcohol that makes me feel that way though I understand why people think that, it really does just help me cope, I can get a good cry in and let some things out much easier (always by myself) then pass out easily too. If I don't drink and have sessions like that then I spiral more and it gets much worse, I fixate and don't sleep and oddly alcohol has kept me here at least. I'm aware that's not a good thing probably.
I think I'm doing a bit better since then, though. Trying to let go more, get outside more, read more. Even just walking and walking then falling asleep in a field somewhere is nice. I have had slightly more distractions as I'm back at home now though and less consistent social contact. I think being by myself just seems to work out better for everyone. Maybe I'll live in the woods or something. Oh, trying to live more in the "now" too, turns out there's a lot of peace to be had in chaos. Sage for rambling.
|>>|| No. 24798
It is so liberating to be so brain-damaged that you forget about things that happened years ago, people you have met, things you did, etc. Sometimes I play along and act like I know what the fuck-off memory some of the cunts around me are talking about.
|>>|| No. 24799
You completely missed the point. It's not about "self-aggrandising" and it's not about the alcohol, it's about the process that led you up to drinking the alcohol in the first place.
Even if you want to take the utterly simplistic case of someone who's drinking too much, the "fix" (as if there could ever be such a thing) isn't simply to stop drinking alcohol. All that stopping drinking will do for that person is take them back to who they were before they started drinking, which is to say the exact self same person who started drinking in the first place with all of same problems and reasons that they had before. Basically you're back to square one except now your liver hurts and all your friends think you're a prick. Thus the cycle of misery and addiction.
Thanks for sharing your utterly sophomoric thought processes with us anyway, cupcake.
|>>|| No. 24801
If it's not about that, then why were you talking about wolf and sheep? Clearly he's functional when he's not drinking. It's also obvious that he was depressed post-binge, which is normal. I was just trying to reassure the guy that no, he's not really a psychopath or a bad person, that's the result of him drinking, whereas you seem to be doing the opposite and encouraging him to drink on top of that.
Despite his claim now that it's not the alcohol that does it, he's been doing better since he stopped. I think that speaks for itself. Now if you'll excuse me, a four-pack of tennants super in the offie is calling my name.
|>>|| No. 24802
Oh, uh..I didn't meant to imply I'd stopped. I haven't. I actually just got a litre of gin.
|>>|| No. 24804
Sometimes, I feel very happy, and sometimes I feel very, very down, irritable and just wishing that I would not wake up from my sleep forever. I think this is wearing down my friends and family because they see me as really happy and joking around with them one time, and just really closed off and pissed off at other times.
This isn't fair on them, and it just makes me feel shittier. Am I mental or is this the case with most people?
|>>|| No. 24892
Lately I have found myself experiencing a certain longing when I watch TV shows that involve best friends and how they do stuff together. Even the X-Files. The reason being that I used to be best friends with a girl I knew for over 10 years and we'd hang out so much we really grew into each other, kindred spirits I guess. You' know how when you know someone so well you can communicate without saying anything - just with a look like you have some hidden language.
Of course I wrecked it by developing feelings for her and then had to cut contact because I couldn't spend my life watching her go with someone else, standard 20-something stuff. I'll never be able to patch that up and wouldn't want to but I do find myself missing her even years later. I know I will meet someone else like that one day and I do make friends and girlfriends but it is rare to build that kind of connection with someone. It is like a part of my youth that has been lost.
I just felt like getting that off my chest. There is no solution other than to forget about this fairly mundane problem.
|>>|| No. 24893
I was going to wish my ex happy birthday today (well, yesterday) on the f.book. We hardly talk now, but in the process I saw the chat log of our break up and I became bitter, resentful, in pain and close to tears and decided it was best not to talk to her in case I acted on that feeling.
I feel slightly guilty for not saying it, but really no one else cares or is hurt that I didn't.
|>>|| No. 24894
I had an amazing friendship with a girl who was genuinely one of the funniest people I know. We knew eachother for about 8 years, but fucked that up royally by becoming a turbulent couple for 2 of them.
For a long time it felt like a chunk of my identity was missing, because there was no other human being I felt understood me like her. All that confiding in eachother, learning about the world, making sense of experiences together.
What I've come to realise is that the joined-at-the-hip feeling is a bit of an illusion. It's true that relationships are important for growth, we are always free to change how we look at ourselves. In fact, the drive to do that (for better or worse) is what ends many relationships, I think.
There's still bitterness, but also some fond and important memories. What's more important is now, though, is I feel like I am the person with the best understanding of myself. There's no need for someone who can complete my thoughts or flatter my ego. I know what I am, what I can do, how I react to things. I've come to know myself a lot better since we broke up.
Sage for borderline New Age wank.
|>>|| No. 24896
I have a similar thing with Star Trek TNG, particularly the episodes where Data is trying to explore his potential humanity. There's something comforting about their somewhat utopian world when I'm feeling miserably depressed or zombified (thanks Mirtazapine).
Plus Patrick Stewart is a cracking actor and who doesn't like looking at Counselor Troi? Long as her mum doesn't bugger up the episode.
|>>|| No. 24900
If TNG is on telly and Troi's mum is in it I automatically switch off. She was fucking annoying
|>>|| No. 24901
You made the right decision. There is zero point in trying to continue a friendship with your ex if it ended up in bitterness, no matter how much you try you will both involuntary hate one another.
I can't say I ever minded her. The thing about Lwaxana is she feels like a real person and even reminds me of an auntie I have. I'd rather one of her episodes than one of the weird Troi episodes with her wooden acting, awkward eroticism and rubbish superpower.
|>>|| No. 24918
I've become fundamentally crap at taking care of myself, in the most fundamentally basic ways.
I'm hungry right now and should do something about it. But I will put off doing anything about it, because I feel like it requires too much effort. Even though it is making me miserable, What is my problem? when did I become this apathetic? How do I stop being this crap at existing. I feel like sometimes some survival circit in my brain switched to self termination, and it powered down all aspirations and drive.
|>>|| No. 24920
I'd just like to say my cunt brain is doing alright at the minute.
|>>|| No. 24923
Self-neglect and low motivation are big warning signs for depression. Get yourself to the GP.
|>>|| No. 24925
The doctor tried to tell me I was depressed for these reasons, so I had to remind him that not only am I already on an antidepressant for anxiety, I suffer from chronic back and joint pain and told him if he gave me better painkillers I'd shower more than was absolutely necessary to keep my wife from leaving me.
I shaved recently for the first time in about a year and had to use scissors on it first, because I was going to a wedding. Up until that point I couldn't be arsed because it really hurt my arm and wrist and my wife liked it... for a bit. She started offering to shave it for me, but I was too proud, but eventually conceded the moustache because she threatened to stop having sex with me so she was trimming it with a beard trimmer every time it got "scratchy".
It's all about perspective, both of those things apply to me but I'm pretty OK mentally.
|>>|| No. 24926
Cognitive Behavoural Therapy can be really useful for chronic pain. It won't make the pain better, but it can make it easier to live with. Have you ever been referred to a pain clinic or the Expert Patients Programme?
|>>|| No. 24927
Yeah, the Pain Clinic are fucking heroes. They gave me my first TENS machine and put me on pre-gabalin (which is cracking stuff).
The nurses have good chat and tolerance for swearing, first time I went they gave me a form with pictures of the body and told me to highlight were it hurt. I highlighted the whole thing and handed it back to him and he was just like "...fair enough. You want to sit in my desk chair, these seat are shit?" I sat in the chair.
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