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|>>|| No. 23560
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.
With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.
Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
|>>|| No. 25728
Realised today that a load of people inexplicably unfriended me from their Facebooks with no communication, and it really bummed me out. I can't think of an particular motive beyond blind speculation, it seems like small petty shit to be worked up over, a web app that I hardly use, but I consider that a symbolic declaration they don't want me in their life ever again and it's hard not to feel rejected by that, particularly when these are people I've known for years.
|>>|| No. 25729
I unfriend people who are inactive. What's wrong with that? You seem really needy.
|>>|| No. 25730
This isn't some friend of a friend bullshit. One of them is a person I've known for years that I've traveled abroad with multiple times, and had purposely blocked me. Intially I assumed they had just deleted their account, but they seemed to single me out. I'm inclined to think that they took sides with someone else I fell out with, I just expected better from them really.
|>>|| No. 25731
Not him but alright that's different. There must be some reason that someone would go out of their way to do that.
|>>|| No. 25738
Me and my girlfriend are probably going to break up pretty soon, her issue with me is only that I am not multiple people, and I don't feel like compromising on that point. I wasn't expecting this I have no exit strategy. I feel a bit lost in how to focus on what I should do next, I don't have a job and I've got less than £100 and until this morning when my living arrangement changed I was ineligible for benifits.
|>>|| No. 25739
Go to the Citizens Advice Bureau tomorrow morning. They'll work out what you're entitled to and tell you how to claim it.
|>>|| No. 25740
Thanks for the practical solution lad. I will do that tomorrow.
I'm emotionally unsure right now, I feel lost, I don't know what is going to happen to me, it is like my life was turned upside down.
|>>|| No. 25747
What is it I feel when looking back on my life through the medias I absorbed as a youngster? What I mean is .. when listening to System of a Down again (what can I say) I realise where a lot of the thoughts I have these days come from, or at least where they were catalysed. Music seems to be the major one, it tends to be where we identify most (as such could it be said music is a purer form of art?)
List listening to music of my childhood makes me wish for better days. Back when I had lesser troubles.
It's like I want to say 'MY LIFE IS A LIIIIIIIIE', but I know that's not really true; we are what we do and all that, there is no human without its environment, etc. I just donno, man. I'm thinking maybe it's not such a pleasant thing to understand yourself, but I still want to try, you know?
|>>|| No. 25748
The older I get the more sensetive I become to certain forms of media, because of the memories they evoke; or ore accurately, the feelings about particular elements of myself that I see reflected in them. As a younger man I could watch/listen to/read nearly anything and I just accepted it for what it was, if it was good I liked it and if it was bad I laughed at it. But these days I'm much more susceptible to bad vibes when I'm choosing something to put on.
I have considered that this is just the "wisdom" that comes with age, and probably the reason most people stop doing drugs etc at some point or another. It all just gets too much and you have to simmer it down eventually.
|>>|| No. 25749
I hear you. I can barely watch films these days without getting a lump in my throat at seemingly irrelevant moments. going to the cinema is pretty much written off, I almost freaked when I saw a guardians of the galaxy trailer.
|>>|| No. 25774
I don't care about anything and it's starting to scare me. I just can't give a fuck about fuck all. I could fall under a train and I'd only be bothered by the momentary discomfort.
|>>|| No. 25775
That sounds like depression, to be honest. Well, the numbness your mind creates as a defence mechanism. If you're numb you're not suicidal. It's the brain making a natural mood enhancer. When my Gran died, the women who raised me, I didn't cry until the next year which also scared me as I was self aware enough to realise that was off. When I did cry, it was on her Birthday and I had been doing a lot of exercise and socialising the months leading up to it. It was what convinced me I was finally on the mend.
Based on my totally anecdotal evidence, I think you're in a transitional phase and you'll start to recover soon if you start small and work towards no goal in particular. I started off going for walks in the evening, walk in the rain were my favourite as it was like the world had been muted.
|>>|| No. 25776
>I could fall under a train and I'd only be bothered by the momentary discomfort.
Put yourself in a dangerous situation and find if your attitude changes. Don't you still look for cars when crossing the road?
|>>|| No. 25779
I don't know who is edgier, the people who claim not to care about anything to the point of suicide, or the people who encourage them to do it.
|>>|| No. 25780
I'm reaching new lows in my life and how to be edgy couldn't be further from my thoughts. Wanting it all stop, though, couldn't be closer.
|>>|| No. 25781
Actually not caring about anything to the point that it doesn't matter if you live or die is fucking awful, there is nothing edgy about it.
But the people who talk about not caring without promoting usually do care. They badly require emotional validation but either lack the emotional tools or the support network to get it, like Aesop's fox and the grapes, they deny they want what they can't have.
The fact that you consider them edgy rather than in need of pity says more about what makes you uncomftable and how you deal with that, than it says about them I think. Do you choose to avoid existential crises rather than confront them?
|>>|| No. 25782
The bank has sent a letter informing me that I am due to start paying back the loan for my research degree on the 30th of this month. I thought I had until the end of January but I was wrong. I've not finished my thesis yet and I know it won't be done and dusted by the 30th. Even the end of January felt like a stretch with the viva and getting over this writers block I've had for months.
So I guess that is that. To top it off I'm getting a head start on the job search because there is nothing else I can do before the banks lines open and it's all work that involves telephone customer service (the one thing I went into university to escape) and my CV is feeling a little light after the better part of a decade in full-time education.
It's been a shitty week, a shitty year and now the rest of the month is looking worse. Actually, looking at the repayment schedule the next 19 months are going to be bad.
|>>|| No. 25784
Yeah, I imagine the bank will be flexible with repayments when I call them on Monday but I've been flagging on my work for months now so maybe I need to jump. At any rate at 9.9% APR I'm going to have to mess about taking out a better loan to pay it off which might turn into its own circle of hell.
It's something I will need to talk over with my supervisor and in the meantime I will send a few feelers out there for jobs over the weekend.
|>>|| No. 25785
Ex-CAB debt advisor here. Check out CONC 7 of the FCA Handbook. It sets out the rules that lenders are obliged to follow when dealing with debtors in arrears or default. Of particular note is CONC 7.3.11 and 7.12.2 - if you speak to a CAB or other debt advisor, the creditor is legally required to suspend all debt collection efforts until a repayment plan is agreed.
It's worth speaking to an advisor even if you're very confident in dealing with your own finances, because it immediately stops the clock on any enforcement action. CONC 7.7.5 states that creditors can only impose charges that cover the reasonable costs of enforcement action - if they're not allowed to take enforcement action, then they're not allowed to charge fees.
It might not seem like it, but you've actually got your creditor over a barrel. Get in touch with the CAB or National Debtline, they'll see you right.
|>>|| No. 25786
How do you cope without anyone to talk to and no support network?
Not just people to shoot the shit with but actually talk to.
|>>|| No. 25787
Seconding this. Whenever I hear people talking about their depression, there's always a small credits section of people they thank, and I'm like "should I draw a face on my hand and chat with that?", but I think that's just going to escalate the matter.
|>>|| No. 25788
For years Natan Sharansky played mental chess against himself while the Soviets kept him in solitary confinement and he went on to beat Kasparov during a simultaneous exhibition, but that might be somewhat extreme.
|>>|| No. 25792
It is their national sport, so unlike here where people will bully you for showing an interest they will actively encourage play. It was regularly used by them to prove who's best during the cold war, so being good at it is really important to them.
|>>|| No. 25793
I'm getting letters from "Past due" or something addressed to someone else. Right now I'm thinking to ring them up, tell them that person doesn't live here any more and advise them that if I have to waste any more time dealing with them in any form, be it letters, phonecalls or bailiffs, I'll be billing them for it. Can you comment on this plan?
|>>|| No. 25794
Can you book a doctors appointment by just walking into the surgery itself? I wanted to tomorrow, but I'm going to run out of credit tonight so I can't call.
|>>|| No. 25795
Yes. If you get there super early sometimes you can get a same day booking but you might have to wait there for 8 hours.
|>>|| No. 25796
Well, I only live about 25 minutes away so I think I'd just go home for seven-ish hours, but thanks a lot.
|>>|| No. 25797
You have to sit in the waiting room until they call your name. If you leave they take you off the list. That was my experience, at least.
|>>|| No. 25799
I've been doing that. I did it again now as you suggested but I was looking forward to that phonecall.
|>>|| No. 25800
I keep sending weird messages.
I don't mean to, but I'll hit the enter key then immediately realise how strange it is, the other ways it could be interpreted, then hate myself for the rest of the day.
Why am I like this? I should probably just go full social isolation because it's the only way I can avoid endless self-hatred and making a complete fool of myself.
|>>|| No. 25801
If it makes you think about it for the rest of the day, then get into the habit of stopping before you press enter and thinking about it.
|>>|| No. 25802
Just play up to it. You have to own your wierd personality traits, and realise that people probably don't hate you for it. Have a bit of self deprecating banter with the people you send them to and try not to over think it all.
|>>|| No. 25803
If a weird obnoxious twat like Russell Brand can turn saying strange things into a knobbing tactic, then so can you.
|>>|| No. 25804
Pffft! Fucking hell, I'm 23 in a month. I know that's not remotely old or anything but I swear I was 19 about 15 minutes ago. I really need to get my shit together. Football Manager considers the cut off for personal progress to be 24 and who am I to disagree?
|>>|| No. 25806
So I'm being chased for debt from 02 for a phone contract I fucking cancelled two years ago.
I've phoned them up and phoned the bullshit "upgrade team" third party cunts as well as the debt collectors and given them all my story. None of them reckon they can help and each of them claims it's somebody else's responsibility, not theirs.
I'm sure they all think I'm just some chancer trying to get away without paying it, but the thing is I have fucking proof I sent it back, I sent it by recorded delivery and I still have a copy of that receipt saved. But I'm going around in circles trying to get anywhere.
Do I have to bloody sue them or what? This shit's causing a big black mark on my credit file that I want rid of. It's like I've been scammed except it's by a massive company who is supposed to do things right.
(Yes I know you're going to say "go to Citizen's Advice" but it's a Monday night so I'm not going to have chance any time soon.)
|>>|| No. 25807
You can phone CAB, their advisors phone up and badger O2 for you once you forward them the appropriate information. I had the same problem with 3.
|>>|| No. 26165
How do I stop making others' feelings my problem?
If people act negative towards me I'll feel like shit until they don't, even if I haven't done anything to cause it in the first place.
|>>|| No. 26167
There are lots of self help books out there about having healthy boundaries. I haven't read any so can't recommend anything specific.
|>>|| No. 26168
>cancelling a phone contract
I bet you just stopped paying them and didn't bother reading the T+Cs.
|>>|| No. 26181
Not quite lad. It was an upgrade where they sent me the wrong phone. I called them and said I'd like to cancel it and just get a new phone and new number separately (i.e from somewhere else). The bloke on the phone said it would be cancelled.
That was the end of that until I started getting letters asking me to pay for my business phone line and broadband dongle. Which was, needless to say, news to me.
So either way I doubt the T&Cs are even relevant, considering they planned to charge me for a dongle I was never told about, never received, nor asked for.
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