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>> No. 1795 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 6:32 pm
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ITT: Workplace annoyances.

I'll get the ball rolling - having to bring in pastries on your birthday. I know it's cheaper if people bring their own in on their birthday instead of chipping in every time someone in the office has a birthday, but it's still fucking annoying having to fork out on your birthday.
3231 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 12667 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 1:06 pm
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"How dark out is it? Horrible innit."
>> No. 12668 Anonymous
29th October 2018
Monday 7:30 am
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>>4189
>I got given one of these signed-by-everyone cards when I was leaving my job at the time (to go back to uni), along with an envelope with some money in it, and we all had a few pints at the pub after work. It was nice.

We had a student intern with us over the summer. When they left they got close to £200 from the collection and we all went out to the pub on their last day, even though we've agreed he's coming back over the Christmas break. Someone who worked here for almost four years recently left; the amount collected for them didn't even reach £40 and barely anyone went to the pub with him.
>> No. 12717 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 7:03 am
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The administration team at work are petrified of thinking for themselves. I had one of them approach me yesterday because they'd noticed an issue with something submitted to them. It turned out there were five separate issues with it and they came over five different times because it didn't occur to them once to review the entire thing to see if there was anything else wrong with it; every time they spotted an issue they just rushed over. I tried asking them a few basic things about each one and it was clear they hadn't even thought of doing even a bit of rudimentary digging around to see if there was background information which would mean the things they'd raised weren't even a problem. They have to be spoonfed absolutely everything.

It's an open plan office and some of the inane things they come out with are absolutely shocking. Several of them couldn't name where Sydney is and actually thought Australia was a state in the USA. I just can't comprehend what it would be like to be in my twenties and have no ambition to do anything more than administration, having the same mindless conversations every weekday for the next forty years or so.
>> No. 12718 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 6:43 pm
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>>12717
These are the people who watch Love Island.
>> No. 12719 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 7:04 pm
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>>12718
I don't know if it's because I was too young to be fully aware of this beforehand, but it seems that ever since Jade Goody went on Big Brother people revel in their ignorance and boast about how they don't know things as if it's something to be proud of.
>> No. 12720 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 7:46 pm
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>>12668

Funny how far not being a knob will get you in the workplace.

We've one woman at our place who insists that when she leaves she doesn't want a collection or a do. She says she doesn't want a fuss. The reality of it is she knows no fucker would come out for it because she's a horrible cunt, and doesn't want the embarrassment.
>> No. 12721 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 10:28 pm
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>>12717
Every supervisor in retail is the same.
Whenever they go for their training they get a lobotomy and lose their common sense.
>> No. 12722 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 7:19 pm
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>>12720
Some people genuinely don't like a fuss being made and would rather keep themselves to themselves. I worked with someone who was fairly quiet and private who lived next to a canal so we all joked was the pusher and he didn't like attention on him. We managed to convince him to go to a nearby pub for lunch on his last day, just a few of us, and he was chuffed with his send off in the end.
>> No. 12727 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 2:11 pm
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>>12717
>It's an open plan office and some of the inane things they come out with are absolutely shocking. Several of them couldn't name where Sydney is and actually thought Australia was a state in the USA.

One of them today has been quite proudly stating how she hasn't read a book since she was a child. She also thought the back of a book was called a verb; she couldn't even describe what an actual verb is.
>> No. 12728 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 2:24 pm
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>>12727
Are you a civil servant by any chance?
>> No. 12729 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 5:50 pm
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I've got an alright job to be honest, got promoted to the office manager for a medium family company, but I've just entered a permanent slump after a couple of years that I cannot seem to shake.

The job's easy enough for decent pay, I get to roll in at 10-11am with nobody caring and spend most of the day drinking tea, lunching at KFC and browsing the internet in my own office; giving my assistant the donkey work and basically dotting the i's and crossing the t's.

Problem is I'm now starting to neglect even that, I just turn up and basically go home. It's correctable with a few weeks of mildly harder work but I am not going through the boom-bust cycle of this that I used to, I'm just doing *nothing* now and it's rubbing off at home too, I often stay late just to carry on using my work PC before going home and basically eating tea, wanking and napping before a 2am bedtime.

Problem is I'm likely underqualified and simply wouldn't get a better gig elsewhere.
>> No. 12731 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 7:20 pm
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>>12729
I'm in a managerial role and I find that I barely get the chance to do the things I'm actually meant to do because I get roped into so many other things. My predecessor admitted that he didn't really get anything done in his last six months.

When I do get the opportunity to do what I'm supposed to I find that I've either lost all momentum from being regularly broken off or know that I've got a meeting or something in my diary to start in the next half an hour so I dick around instead. Even when I do get a decent amount of uninterrupted time I can't motivate myself or focus so I'll just browse the internet or goof around for a bit.
>> No. 12733 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 9:49 am
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I am currently in the middle of the dull time of the year where my only work is doing the budget for next year. So all I've done is copy and paste last year's and check that none of the prices have changed. There's fuck all to do until about the end of February. So every day is just turn up to the office and kill 8 hours before going home.
>> No. 12734 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:49 am
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>>12733
Talk to your bosses about "remote working".
>> No. 12735 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 11:36 am
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>>12734
I'm the department manager, so I need to be in the office for dogshit meetings and occasionally arranging staff training courses. I am just cruising through the next few months until I get busier.
>> No. 12736 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 12:24 pm
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>>12735
Read some books, get really into Football Manager, embezzle company funds? This is a real opportunity here.
>> No. 12737 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 4:01 pm
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>>12736
I am spending most of my day looking at spreadsheets, the idea of football manager sounds tortuous. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts and I have a fortnight off coming up in a week
>> No. 12738 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 9:35 pm
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I'd fucking kill to be able to get paid to sit on my arse for a few working weeks and do nothing. I didn't even get lunch breaks until I approached my thirties.

I suppose the grass is always greener, my work days never seemed long, even when they were.
>> No. 12739 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:18 pm
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>>12737

As every prisoner and submariner knows, chess has the capacity to kill endless amounts of time.

https://lichess.org/
>> No. 12740 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:24 pm
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>>12738
Job was that?
>> No. 12741 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:47 pm
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>>12738

I mean, I'm not one of those managers you are on about, but my job does have a fair amount of downtime at certain points of the week depending what section you're in. A lot of the time, when you are forced to spend time at work with nothing much to do, it just breeds a feeling of contempt in me.

Instead of feeling good that I get paid to sit and do nothing, I can't help but think about all the much more valuable time I could be spending at home, doing something that feels more meaningful to me. I could be working on a song or developing my writing abilities. I think about all the time I've spent at work instead of doing those things, and how much I've neglected those passions because I have a job in order to pay my bills with a degree of security, instead of actually enjoying my life.

It's very depressing. At least when you have something to occupy yourself, the existential dread stays away until you find yourself sat posting about it on britfa on a Friday night.
>> No. 12742 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:53 pm
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Thinking about it, it's quite interesting how this thread has evolved over the past seven and a half years. We've gone from moaning about our superiors and how clueless head office staff are to feeling like imposters because we've suddenly found ourselves in managerial positions, struggling to fill the working day out and moaning about how useless our administrators are.

I think I might have a re-read of the entire thread about some point. Well, skipping the cunt-offs when race, cookies and whatever else sets you lot off were brought up.
>> No. 12743 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 8:03 am
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>>12741
I know exactly what you mean about about a feeling of contempt. I am lucky enough that I can get out of the office regularly for site visits. Days like the past Friday where all I had to do was go to meetings and kill time between the meetings are soul destroyingly dull.
>> No. 12744 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 3:22 pm
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>>12742
I am bitter and jealous.
>> No. 12746 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 5:51 pm
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>>12743

I assume my first post in this thread was >>2693, it definitely sounds like me. I'd have been barely a commis chef then, freshly promoted from my part time dishwashing job after uni.

I'm definitely impressed with myself with what I've achieved in that time, but my job is now essentially getting paid to teach restaurants how to appease those sorts of cunty customers. What a meaningless existence.

I did always feel like I was missing out on the majority of the office based banter in this thread, but I've seen enough of that stuff now too to last me a lifetime. Why are they always called Sandra, though?
>> No. 12747 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 8:12 pm
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>>12746
I'm the OP of this thread. When I created it I was 22 years old and working four days a week doing admin for the local council, on about £12,000, as it's all I could really find after graduating. Now I'm 30 years old, a chartered financial planner and I've got a very realistic chance of earning six figures within the next few years.
>> No. 12748 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 8:16 pm
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When I first posted here I was a suicidal call centre drone. Now I'm a poorly paid and overworked NHS labrat. But at least I'm not suicidal.

(When I first started posting on Britchan I'd never even had a job, it boggles the mind.)
>> No. 12749 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 1:03 am
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I think I posted this >>1802

I never imagined I'd be so miserable when I got here.
>> No. 12750 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 7:42 am
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>>12749
Have you ever had to bring in pastries for your work colleagues on your birthday?
>> No. 12751 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 10:20 pm
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>>12750
No, they don't know when my birthday is because I haven't told them.
>> No. 12752 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 10:43 pm
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>>12751

Oh, so you're that guy.
>> No. 12753 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 10:49 pm
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>>12752
I don't know what that means.
>> No. 12754 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 11:31 pm
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>>12750
I avoid all the bollocks. I'll chip in on presents and sign an office card, but that's it.
>> No. 12755 Anonymous
26th November 2018
Monday 8:24 pm
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I’m nostalgic for those shitty workspace dividers they had 10 years ago that you can see in OP’s pic. They weren't perfect but now I keep locking eyes with the woman who sits opposite me and it's getting weird. It’s like when you lock eyes with someone on the train and she becomes your train-girlfreind.

No attraction but my brain has certainly registered that something’s going on. “Yeah, I’ll give you a good hobnob, love”, I involuntarily say in my head as I pass the biscuits over. I don't want this at all but we’re both single and get along well enough that the office party could go terribly wrong. I know it will because I've been here before, we’ll end up alone. Then on my bed. Then she'll say we shouldn't after I'm bollock naked and I'll just go have a wank in the bathroom to spite her.
>> No. 12758 Anonymous
26th November 2018
Monday 11:33 pm
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>>12755
Mate, when a women says "We shouldn't" instead of "No." she is asking for permission, not declining consent.

At this point, you have to reassure her. First with your words, then with your cock.
>> No. 12762 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 9:04 am
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EVERYONE KEEPS SNEEZING AND NOW I'M SNEEZING AND MY NOSE IS RUNNING.
>> No. 12763 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 10:22 am
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>>12762
Here lies Anon, he was a Ladm9.
>> No. 12765 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 5:10 pm
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This is the first December I'm self employed and it's only just dawned on me that I don't have to do secret santa, thank fuck. It also dissuades me from ever expanding my business as I never want to have to do it again.

I might still buy myself a bottle of spirit that I've never, ever, given an indication that I enjoy, though, for old time's sake.
>> No. 12766 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 7:48 pm
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As the new guy I didn't really have a choice when it came to the team Christmas dinner/lunch. Can't be doing with being anymore anti-social even if I do end up with nobody to talk to.

But goddamn, I'm a working class lad from the provinces who has always worked in offices full of blokes. Can someone please translate this menu into normal meals. I assume chicken fatayer is like chicken pierogi with sour cream dip?
>> No. 12767 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 7:52 pm
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>>12766

Mains:

Vegetarian lumps
Fish kebab
Spicy chicken pie
Spicy roasted lamb
>> No. 12769 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 7:55 pm
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>>12766

Okay,

Butternut squash kofta - pumpkin ball curry

Tuna shish - fish on a stick and chips

Chicken fatayer - chicken pasties but spicy

Mechoui - lamb and dip and that
>> No. 12770 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 7:56 pm
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>>12767>>12769

The britfa hivemind is almost perfect now.
>> No. 12771 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 8:11 pm
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>>12767
>>12769
Ah, chicken is the safety as usual then. Now I can relax and look forward to getting the chair with one leg slightly shorter than the others and hearing 'hilarious' stories about everyone's children.
>> No. 12772 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 8:17 pm
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>>12766
You want the lamb. The problem with mezze or tapas on a work do is that there will inevitably be a number of women who barely eat anything, but you'll look greedy if you have more than your fair share.
>> No. 12784 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 3:09 pm
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This afternoon's topic: Why Tommy Robinson should be Prime Minister.
>> No. 12785 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 3:13 pm
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>>12784
I hope the answer is "because we need a useful idiot to blame when everything goes tits up".
>> No. 12786 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 3:20 pm
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>>12785
Apparently it's because he talks about things that the mainstream media don't cover enough, something about two boys getting ran over in London that didn't seem overly coherent, and that Syrian refugee kid in Huddersfield didn't deserve to get £150,000 via GoFundMe because he wasn't really waterboarded and there's two sides to every story so he probably deserved it as there's loads of brown people in Huddersfield so it probably wasn't even racist
>> No. 12787 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 4:19 pm
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>>12784
I get Macron and Michelle Obama when those discussions come up because everyone in the office is centre left. Having a Tommy Robinson supporter to throw the cat amongst the pigeons would be dream for me.

Why are work people so strange, lads. They're not at all like people you would meet in your day to day affairs.
>> No. 12788 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 4:37 pm
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>>12787
She moved on to how much she hates feminists because they've got Baby It's Cold Outside banned on the radio in America.

I don't mind people having differing political opinions, it's just when what they're saying is half-baked bollocks based on Chinese whispers.
>> No. 12789 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 5:14 pm
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>>12788
>they've got Baby It's Cold Outside banned on the radio in America.

Sign me up.

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