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>> No. 1795 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 6:32 pm
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ITT: Workplace annoyances.

I'll get the ball rolling - having to bring in pastries on your birthday. I know it's cheaper if people bring their own in on their birthday instead of chipping in every time someone in the office has a birthday, but it's still fucking annoying having to fork out on your birthday.
3360 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 12929 Anonymous
29th January 2019
Tuesday 11:01 am
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>>12924
Can I be on your dev team? I don't know what you are doing but I would really like to be able to afford a haircut.
>> No. 12930 Anonymous
30th January 2019
Wednesday 1:08 pm
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Each day the sub-department I work at issues a pack of work orders to be done over the course of the day. There are three of us on the shift usually, with the all basic checks it takes about 10 to 25 minutes to finish it depending on how many orders there are.

Yesterday two my workmates came late. It was 09:20 no the clock, no orders had been issued. They turn their PCs on and immediately leave for coffee. 09:35, not a bloody sight of them. I started to hand the bloody orders away myself. Working alone, it took about 40-45 minutes. At 09:45 the two show up. Five minutes later or something I still handle the paper shite; passing a casual glance over the screen of my workmate I see him playing some browser-based online bollocks.

Later one of them utters something about 'coming to work earlier' because 'goddamn orders weren't issued fast enough'. Well fuck me, perhaps because the 2/3 of the workforce had been sitting on their arses doing bugger-all?

I remained silent; his statement was issued in rather passive-aggressive tone that wasn't exactly aimed at me besides the rather evident allusion. Didn't qualify a proper roasting. Thinking about it now, I'm less sure.

Next time - I'm pretty positive there's more to come - I shall do fuck-all myself too.
>> No. 12931 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 5:06 pm
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Two separate grumbles from today:-

• Four people sent emails out today begging for money to fundraise for hobbies/things they've always wanted to do in the name of charity. It's not even that large of an office.

"Please help me raise £300 so I can pay a charity to go on a skydiving event they've organised. It's for a good cause."

• In a meeting today someone actually threw their Audi car keys on the table in what I believe was an effort to inspire us to be successful. They've got the car on finance.
>> No. 12933 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 5:15 pm
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>>12931

>In a meeting today someone actually threw their Audi car keys on the table in what I believe was an effort to inspire us to be successful

I remember very fondly an area manager telling me that if I got stuck in and kept my head down, one day I could have a company car like his, a BMW 316 estate. I had a Porsche 911 at the time. The poor lad looked very upset, though it was his own fault for being an area manager that didn't seem to know how much his direct subordinates were being paid.

Mine was second hand, admittedly, but I did buy it outright. I let him assume it was brand new, obviously
>> No. 12934 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 5:47 pm
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>>12923
> Maybe stop being so cheap and shitty and people will want to work for you.

Of course, this is the dream. In reality though the management don't care about anything except keeping the client just happy enough to keep paying for bums on seats. It is a body-shop, not a product company.

I have done what I can, and I will keep doing so for now, because actually they pay _me_ probably slightly over market rate. I would either go mad or stop giving a shit if I stay for too long though, so I plan to leave this summer.
>> No. 12935 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 7:17 pm
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Someone at my work seriously and unironically wants us to do a tough mudder. It costs £38 to participate. Someone's put a poster up next to it for a night out in town the same weekend.

I got a good laugh out of that, at least.
>> No. 12936 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 7:36 pm
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>>12934
>In reality though the management don't care about anything except keeping the client just happy enough to keep paying for bums on seats.
Like I said, cheap and shitty. It's probably better for you to go sooner rather than later. Remember the company whose team was down to two? One has left, and rumour has it that the other has also handed in his notice. If you're going to need a reference in future, don't be the last one out of the door.
>> No. 12937 Anonymous
2nd February 2019
Saturday 9:02 am
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Anyone who feels the need to copy in a number of people, usually senior management and directors, on an email to an individual just for the sake of being a cunt.
>> No. 12938 Anonymous
2nd February 2019
Saturday 4:29 pm
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>>12937
I'm often one of the senior management brought into email threads like that. Love a work email cuntoff.
>> No. 12939 Anonymous
3rd February 2019
Sunday 11:00 pm
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>>12938
>>12937
I always thought the subtext of those was

"I am going to ask you to do something but I don't think you'll do it, so I'm going to copy the bossman in to make sure that you will do it."
>> No. 12940 Anonymous
4th February 2019
Monday 12:46 am
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>>12939
It is a way for those who are both stupid and weak indicate that they are so to anyone who is paying attention.
>> No. 12941 Anonymous
4th February 2019
Monday 7:07 am
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>>12938>>12939>>12940
On Friday someone at work decided to copy myself in, all of the senior management and the company directors into an email giving a trainee in my team an almighty bollocking because of something that another team hadn't done and he hadn't bothered checking up on once during the past month. We rang him up and gave him a major dressing down; the trainee has only been with us a couple of months so he was quite taken aback.

It's a massive cunt move.
>> No. 12942 Anonymous
4th February 2019
Monday 8:02 am
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>>12941
What astounds me is people like that ever think they will come off looking in any way good.
>> No. 12957 Anonymous
6th February 2019
Wednesday 11:16 pm
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I'm filling in an online application form. I'm invited to use the details from my previous application so I don't have to fill out the boring stuff again. It managed to transfer the reference contact details and nothing else.
>> No. 12962 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 12:41 am
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>>12957
What do you know? It gets better. If you need to add a reference you can do an address search instead of typing the whole thing in. Only you then have to type the whole thing in anyway because it doesn't copy it over to the four-line "enter the address here" part.
>> No. 12963 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 4:12 am
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>>12957>>12962
My girlfriend's recently applied for a job at our local council. The online application form was far too convoluted for the level of the role she's applied for and their recruitment process is so archaic that they're going to write out to candidates they wish to interview within four weeks of the closing date.
>> No. 12964 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 4:24 am
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>>12962

I like the ones where it asks you to upload your CV, then gives you a load of boxes to fill out that are exactly what's included in your CV.

It used to be really basic entry level jobs that made you do this, now everyone's at it. I can't even bring myself to do it, most of the time.
>> No. 12965 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 7:40 pm
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I started a new job where all my supervisors are significantly younger than me and it depresses me. They're all really nice and quite relaxed with the rules (employee handbook says no phones on shop floor, young supervisors encourage me to go on my phone to entertain myself in quiet periods; not meant to have break on short shifts but they give me 15 minutes paid break during short shifts), so I have no reason to complain, but I just feel like such a loser being lead by people younger than me.
>> No. 12966 Anonymous
8th February 2019
Friday 6:05 pm
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There's this lazy fat woman at work who is always throwing sickies or doing fuck all when she actually is in work, which she usually does wrong, but management are shit-scared to do anything about it because her husband is a HR manager; every time she is off sick she emails her line manager and also copies him in. I get the impression she's hoping they will sack her for gross incompetence because she wants to try and sue for unfair dismissal.

>>12965
It's a really hard mentality to shake out of, but comparing yourself to other people is unhealthy. There will always be people more successful than you are.
>> No. 12967 Anonymous
8th February 2019
Friday 11:17 pm
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Corporate away days. For fucks sake, why can't I just go to work?
>> No. 12968 Anonymous
8th February 2019
Friday 11:25 pm
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>>12967

I hate this shit but it does unironically work and for some reason it makes you more likely to relate to your boss when you've boss been stuck half way up a tree waiting to go on the zipwire.

I remember one job, when I started coincided with the team away day, we just got loads of nice food away from the office in a rented building and played Cards Against Humanity. It was absolutely brilliant because it just removed all awkwardness and formalities almost instantly and we all had a laugh and felt more at ease.

I also like a free lunch and a day out of the office so maybe I'm biased.
>> No. 12995 Anonymous
10th February 2019
Sunday 5:15 pm
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>>12967
>>12968

The part I don't understand is what happened to just going for a good booze up with your colleagues? If you are all something approaching actual mates and you've watched the lads puke against a wall and seen the lasses fannys hanging out of Primark knickers there's no need for mountaineering or fucking orienteering or whatever.
>> No. 13027 Anonymous
10th February 2019
Sunday 8:14 pm
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>>12995

There's certainly a lot of bonding to be had on a staff pissup. Even the management being there can be a good thing, though I reckon if you're a manager you need to have about four drinks and fuck off at 11, really.

Early in my career our area manager came out with us for our Christmas pissup. He was a good bloke but ultimately ended up surrounded by people complaining about their site at 2am, I remember distinctly standing across from him and laughing at him as he looked at me for help. He ended up sleeping on the floor of a flat shared by like four of the students that worked with us part time.
>> No. 13047 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 1:45 am
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I identified a problem with a clients EPOS months ago and they appeared to take it seriously but never actually did anything about it - I just got a panicked email about exactly that and they've worked out the thing I predicted would happen has absolutely been happening. Some people are beyond help aren't they?

Don't give a solid 40% of your staff the privileges to alter the prices of stuff in your till, that's all I can say.
>> No. 13048 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 5:49 pm
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anybody else here an eternal neet?
>> No. 13049 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 5:52 pm
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>>13048

I'm not, though my cousin is. I know this is probably a daft question but don't you get bored? Not so much with not working, but with not really having money to go do stuff.
>> No. 13050 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 6:00 pm
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>>13049

I have money to do stuff and I do stuff with clever budgeting
>> No. 13051 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 7:14 pm
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A recurring theme across every office I work in is no matter where I choose to sit somebody will then start trying to sit in that place.

I make a conscious effort in this hotdesk (where we hotdesk but everybody sits in the same place every day) world to pick the least desirable seat I can find, the one where nobody sits for weeks on end, facing no window, away from the aircon, you get the deal.

I guarantee after about two weeks of me sitting there somebody will move a monitor and say they have to have that seat despite being perfectly happy for however long they were before I came.

Why?
>> No. 13052 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 7:24 pm
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>>13051
Perhaps you work in an industry that often features absolute cunts?
>> No. 13053 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 7:37 pm
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>>13051
I don't understand why hotdesking is a thing.
>> No. 13054 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 7:49 pm
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>>13051
>>13053
It never works - for the last 10 years I have worked for companies that "hot desk" and without exception, everyone sits in the same place every day, for good reason. If it means I can slope off with my laptop and find a place to hide on a sofa and do some actual work, I'm all for it, but the rest of the time, I (and everyone else) sits in the same place.

It's often used as an excuse to have an office that's actually too small for the number of staff you have - and that's a cast iron reason to work at home more (which such companies most usually support), but nobody moves around the office and changes places, like you might think.
>> No. 13055 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 9:01 am
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I'M GOING TO USE THE LAST OF THE WATER IN THE COOLER BUT I'M NOT GOING TO REPLACE THE EMPTY BOTTLE.
>> No. 13056 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 9:41 am
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>>13054
At one place I worked, they set a target of 8 desks for every 10 people. The reasoning for this was that lots of people were part-time or away from their desks for extended periods. This works across the organisation, but someone thought it was a good idea to apply it to each team, regardless of the work they do. This meant that when our heavily desk-based mostly full-time division was moved into head office, they insisted we could only have 8 desks for every 10 people we had. This meant that our dedicated hot desk bank was filled every single day with the people we didn't have space to assign desks to, defeating the purpose of having a hot desk bank to begin with.
>> No. 13057 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 8:45 pm
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This is food service so a horrible nightmare of overwork is to be expected, but it still gets on my tits when I get handed all the pans from the front, 10 minutes before closing the shop, and someone deigns to visit the one-man kitchen 5 minutes later to figure out why I'm taking so long.

It's because it's not a five minute job pal that's why. Half the dishes are sticky and baked in. This is after I've had to filter both the fry vats and tidy the kitchen, after having had to prep all the veggies for the next day while keeping the fried food going for the front the whole day.

I know I should probably get out of the kitchen if I can't take the heat but I'm keeping at it anyway because, for some reason, they can't hold on to staff! And there's no way I'd be able to beat the cash I'm making. I'm one of two kitchen assistants at the moment, for two stores that are open 7 days a week for at least 9 hours. The third assistant quit this Monday when he realised he had no days off this week.
>> No. 13058 Anonymous
20th February 2019
Wednesday 2:26 am
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>>13057

>but it still gets on my tits when I get handed all the pans from the front, 10 minutes before closing the shop

This happens in more places than it should and it's fucking daft. It's usually possible to explain, slowly and carefully, that if they could just give you pans as and when they're done rather than leaving them in a big cunting pile you'd be done a lot sooner.

When I was in that position I'd just barge in with a big bus tray and grab whatever they weren't using quite frequently. Though it doesn't sound like you can do that or you probably would.

Also depending how new you are and how shit the place is, they might just be surprised by the fact that you're actually trying to clean something properly.
>> No. 13060 Anonymous
20th February 2019
Wednesday 8:57 pm
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These days I often find I get hunger pangs in the morning sometime around 10 or 11. It probably wouldn't matter so much if I was doing an early shift but I don't have to be in until 10 and can't exactly go to lunch an hour after I get in.

So obviously I do the sensible thing and pay outrageous prices for cake when I go on break.
>> No. 13061 Anonymous
20th February 2019
Wednesday 9:28 pm
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>>13060
Take in some form of snack? I generally have nuts, grapes or an apple mid-morning.
>> No. 13062 Anonymous
22nd February 2019
Friday 5:18 pm
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>>13049
> but with not really having money to go do stuff.
Judging from my own experience way back, I don't need much.
There's a certain threshold after which raises are nice and still don't mean qualitative increase as I can't buy a flat with that salary in reasonable timeframe, nor can I stockpile it somehow that'll at least preserve the value.
That's one reason why I kept working at one place that offered 3 to 5 days off per week, having been offered another position which included more money but also the tedium of 9-to-5.
>> No. 13063 Anonymous
8th March 2019
Friday 12:35 pm
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I've found myself in the middle of a shitstorm where something has gone wrong; nobody is taking responsibility for it and they're blaming others people for it. I'm finding it really, really hard to give a shit about it but they won't stop going on.
>> No. 13064 Anonymous
8th March 2019
Friday 5:49 pm
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>>13063
Is that you Prime Minister?
>> No. 13065 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 5:38 pm
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"I don't shop around for the cheapest petrol because I always put a tenner in wherever I go."
>> No. 13066 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 5:54 pm
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>>13065

People think I'm mental for just filling up wherever I happen to be, and not really looking at the price - even if the price difference is 10p (it's usually only 2 or 3) then if I fill my tank up I might have saved six quid on a tank by going to the Asda on the other side of town vs. the Shell. If it takes me 20 minutes to get there then it's hardly a saving at all, if you value your time.
>> No. 13067 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 6:20 pm
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>>13066
There's merit in that line of reasoning, particularly if it is a long journey to a cheaper petrol station. However, stating that you don't shop around because you always top it up by the same monetary amount is all kinds of stupid.
>> No. 13068 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 7:06 pm
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>>13067

A 50% extra free offer sells better than a 1/3 discount. Most people are functionally innumerate.
>> No. 13069 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 2:18 pm
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I'm starting to worry that I am becoming the workplace annoyance. Apart from someone being a bit of an overly judgemental cow whilst also being quite incompetent at her own job I don't really have any complaints.

There's going to be a couple of junior vacancies within my team at the end of the year; there's going to be at least six internal applicants and I have the final say. One of them sent out an email today and I responded to them pointing out all of the grammatical flaws and telling them to be better if they want any chance of joining my team. I'm clearly dicking around, but I'm probably also being a dick.
>> No. 13070 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 3:22 pm
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>>13069

>I'm clearly dicking around

I suspect that's what most annoying people think. It's pretty hard to get across your intent in an email as well, they almost certainly think you're an arsehole.
>> No. 13071 Anonymous
23rd March 2019
Saturday 3:33 pm
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There is this cunt who's onto fucking up the schedule for everyone. Yesterday he literally exploded, hysterically yelling that the March schedule is utter shite - after about 2/3 of March has passed, right. He then proceeded with 'correcting' it - which ironically included putting additional workdays for everyone except himself. After being told to fuck off with that by everybody else he decided to fiddle with the April schedule and made a 'better' version - again, with more workdays added.

My only consolation is that so far he's been a tiny minority that wants these changes. Unfortunately, apathy is big here so instead of telling the sod to piss off one more time the folks might just coast along and accept the alterations just so he would cease whining. I have no bloody idea what's in it for this person - he surely won't get paid more for self-afflicted overtime. Others have noted this as well, responding, 'If you like to work that much, we can give you more worktime'.

Utter bollocks.
>> No. 13072 Anonymous
23rd March 2019
Saturday 6:20 pm
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>>13071
Unionise, motherfucker.
>> No. 13073 Anonymous
23rd March 2019
Saturday 6:41 pm
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>>13071
>yesterday he literally exploded

Problem solved then.
>> No. 13074 Anonymous
23rd March 2019
Saturday 7:21 pm
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>>13073
Mirth.

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