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179517951795
>> No. 1795 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 6:32 pm
1795 spacer
ITT: Workplace annoyances.

I'll get the ball rolling - having to bring in pastries on your birthday. I know it's cheaper if people bring their own in on their birthday instead of chipping in every time someone in the office has a birthday, but it's still fucking annoying having to fork out on your birthday.
Expand all images.
>> No. 1796 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 11:16 pm
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>>1795

That totally invalidates the point of the pastries. The person whos birthday it is is supposed to get a free pastry because it's their birthday. Whoever heard of buying other people presents on your birthday?
>> No. 1797 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 11:33 pm
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>>1796
It's happened in all four offices I've worked in and, as far as I'm aware, it's the norm in the majority of offices in the country.
>> No. 1798 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 11:47 pm
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>>1795

Is that a potted prickly pear? Next to a desk without a computer?
>> No. 1801 Anonymous
28th May 2011
Saturday 4:41 pm
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I don't even celebrate my birthday.
>> No. 1802 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 3:28 am
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>>1795
I haven't actually worked in an office but I've never heard of this. I'm not fucking buying cakes for my colleagues on my birthday.
>> No. 1803 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 8:30 am
1803 spacer
This thread makes me very happy I no longer work in a conventional sense and I will hopefully never work in a corporate office ever again.

Some of the things that pissed me off.

Company presentations where the whole fucking company gets to sit through presentations on how we are doing financially and so on. Sure having an idea of how the magazine you work on/run is doing is important, but I don't give a shit if Farmers Weekly is raking it in or closing down.

Training. Time and money wasted so some theorist can fuck about making Captain Obvious type observations that mean little in the real world.

Diversity training. I understand that calling black colleagues Sambo and asking if the gay guy in marketing caught hiv at the weekend isn't really on and is likely to get me pucnhed. However I don't need a three day seminar to understand this.

Expenses. Really, taking clients out of dinner and drinks is something we are supposed to do whilst not getting them too many drinks?

The TA guy. For whatever reason every office I've worked in has had either a current or former TA member in it. They have always been cocksuckers of a high level, who for whatever reason have to mention that they are/were in the TA at any moment, even if this means comparing the shitty coffee in the kitchen to something made in the field.

Overtly flirty team secretaries. These can be fun, but if they think being flirty and attractive makes up for incompetence it becomes a nightmare.

Team drinks etc. Friday after works drinks can be ok, but when you have "forced" team drinks it never really works out that well. Inevitably there will be disagreements about where to go and then when people have had a few the fun really starts. One of the girls will have had an argument with her bf and start to cry, TA man will be wanting to fight someone and before you know it a perfectly decent evening is a pile of failure and you're on the last train back to Croydon with autistic Michael from accounts who drunkenly confesses to having been molested as a kid/wanking in the toilets at work/owning a mask of shame.

The office comedian. The guy who spends half the working day sending unfunny virals around, heckles already cringeworthy presentations of any kind and does things like push all the buttons in the lift when you are showing clients to a meeting. Inevitably this guy will have some key knowledge or be in a special position which means at some point your job will depend on him.
>> No. 1805 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 7:17 pm
1805 spacer
>>1803
I can't work out if this is meant to be a nod to The Office or not.

Anyway, I bloody love training. If I had the choice between a week's training and a week doing my proper job I'd go for the training without a second thought, easy money.
>> No. 1806 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 9:15 pm
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>>1803

>Farmers Weekly
>Reed Business

I like your offices very much, but you overdo the security. What mag did you work for and why did you quit?
>> No. 1807 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 10:14 pm
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>>1803

>The office comedian. The guy who spends half the working day sending unfunny virals around, heckles already cringeworthy presentations of any kind and does things like push all the buttons in the lift when you are showing clients to a meeting. Inevitably this guy will have some key knowledge or be in a special position which means at some point your job will depend on him.

I aspire to be this man.
>> No. 1808 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 10:48 pm
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>>1803

What do you mean by TA?
>> No. 1809 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 10:49 pm
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The majority of offices I've worked in has had some weird manchild in their 40's.

#1 looked and sounded lot like Reece Shearsmith, but more orange and with very long eyelashes. He used to leave for work at 5am so he could get his favourite parking space on the street, despite not starting for another 2 hours. He'd be in a bit of a mood if someone else was parked there, apparently a few other people used to get there ridiculously early to get the best spots on that street. He used to tidy his house constantly because his mum would come around every week and inspect it for dust, he also didn't have an oven because if he ever got married he was going to leave it up to her to pick one she liked. It's hard to explain him, but he was really fucking odd, hilarious though.

#2 seemed to constantly wear sweaters that looked like antique rugs. He also had similar hair and glasses to the man in the cunt destroyer image, but had a hint of Mr. Bean about him. He was completely pathetic, but he had a few women in their 50's/60's who used to mother him all the time.

#3 was absolutely obsessed with Top Gear. He'd spend most of his time talking about it, or shows along he lines of Ice Road Truckers and that series that was recently on Five about the Royal Navy. The office was predominantly middle-aged women who knew fuck all about computers, so they revered him like a God for just knowing the basics. He lived with his parents, so he'd buy a brand new BMW every couple of years and spend his spare time driving that around and wanking over it.
>> No. 1810 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 10:51 pm
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>>1808
Territorial Army.
>> No. 1811 Anonymous
29th May 2011
Sunday 11:47 pm
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>>1810
What you said in >>1803 sounds just like Gareth, do you think they based him off of this apparent stereotype?
>> No. 1812 Anonymous
30th May 2011
Monday 3:54 pm
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I'll assume everyone's been on those forced team bonding weekends where you go to a rapey serial killer looking woods and do activities?

I could have spent that weekend with a curry, a few boxsets, video games and internet pornography but ended up with blood sweat and tears, some people were all three. It just ended with us all hating each other for a few weeks.
>> No. 1813 Anonymous
30th May 2011
Monday 11:07 pm
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I've been working in a new job for the psat 6 months or so and unlike my prior jobs it is very heavily office based. I just do everything possible to get out of the office, this includes site inspections, going to pick stuff up/place orders in stores or just plain hiding in the bog, using my phone to browse the net. My problem is I have a short attention span as it is, so me having a job where I'm sat in front of a computer for 8 hours a day leads to me just staring at the wall or playing solitaire far too much.

The fact that I joined the company shortly after being taken over by new management, means I fall on the side of being the new bloke where there's very much a divide between the new management and the old guard. It doesn't help that the way the office is split up I am sat with all the new management with the old guys on the other side. There's just been so many petty arguments its ridiculous.

On the plus side I have been praised after my first bi-annual assessment for my hands on approach. I daren't tell them that the only reason for this is because I hate sitting in the fucking office and its bollocks politics.
>> No. 1815 Anonymous
31st May 2011
Tuesday 4:02 am
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>>1806
>What mag did you work for and why did you quit?

I worked on a number of titles and I left because I was offered a part in the Murdoch empire. This was all a very long time ago though.
>> No. 1816 Anonymous
31st May 2011
Tuesday 4:21 pm
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>>1813

You sound like you're living a very similar life to me in that aspect.
>> No. 1817 Anonymous
31st May 2011
Tuesday 6:28 pm
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>>1813
>just plain hiding in the bog, using my phone to browse the net.
I used to do this all the time in my old job; not because it was especially bad, but because it was in the public sector and you could get away with dicking around for half the working day (and I'd still get my work done faster than most of my team). I don't think there was any accountability whatsoever in that job, partially because nobody really seemed to know what someone else was meant to be doing. Fortunately, there were no office politics, but the endless use of 'matey', 'banter' and 'hang fire' drove me up the wall.

The shitters in my current job are a disgrace and not worth wasting time in.
>> No. 1822 Anonymous
2nd June 2011
Thursday 2:53 pm
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I've not long gotten out of a 2 and a half hour long meeting. Which was such a fucking waste of time, nothing of any worth was said or done. I've not even had my lunch yeat, so i'm fucking off out to go and sit in the park or possibly a beer garden for the rest of the day. I'll head back to the office for 4.30 to clock out.
>> No. 1836 Anonymous
6th June 2011
Monday 6:46 pm
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>>1803
I wish I had an office comedian. Instead I have a man in his late 40's who wants to show how he's down with the kids by constantly name-dropping the likes of The Wombats and Mumford & Sons.

I'd trade that for the office comedian any day. I don't think I've met anyone that has mentioned liking The Wombats that isn't an absolute cunt.
>> No. 1839 Anonymous
7th June 2011
Tuesday 2:42 pm
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>>1836

He reminds me horribly of one of my parents friends and neighbours when I was in my late teens/early twenties. He was a media prick and would constantly try to be cool by talking about Supergrass, The Boo Radleys and whatever other Britpop rising stars were around at the time.

This was particularly tricky as I had just left the army and was trying to get my first job in meeja and this guy was, according to my mums theory, the best way in.
>> No. 1845 Anonymous
12th June 2011
Sunday 3:01 pm
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>>1812
I went on one of these a few weeks ago. It was made slightly different by the fact it was in Eastern Europe and a large man called Olav said I was very good at shooting.

Was pretty good fun actually, even if I lost my bank holiday weekend and therefore my birthday, but it's a fairly new job and I still have enthusiasm for it. I'm sure it'll be different this time next year.
>> No. 1944 Anonymous
10th July 2011
Sunday 11:31 pm
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That one CRAZY female worker. You know the one. She works in accounts or human resources, she's a bit overweight, and the first thing she says when introducing herself is "Don't mind me, I'm just a bit KER-AZY". Her CRAZINESS involves liking cute animals, and talking about how CRAZY she is, because if you say you express a particular trait often enough it apparently manifests itself as something approximating a personality. They always love Nandos too.
>> No. 1945 Anonymous
11th July 2011
Monday 12:10 am
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>>1944
I'M PROPER MAD ME.
>> No. 1951 Anonymous
11th July 2011
Monday 5:16 pm
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>>1944
I know this type. Speaks way too loud because that's the only way this fat ugly bitch is getting attention.
>> No. 1953 Anonymous
11th July 2011
Monday 7:45 pm
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>>1944
Fat people are always so full
of themselves.

Mine's football talk.
>> No. 1985 Anonymous
20th July 2011
Wednesday 3:26 pm
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I ended up getting stuck working with the office bore today on a project. 8 hours stuck with a middle aged man who kept going on about trains, with all the computer savvy of a mentally handicapped chimp does not make the day go quickly.
>> No. 1986 Anonymous
20th July 2011
Wednesday 6:02 pm
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>>1985
Just wait until you have to spend the day with a man who hasn't got over his wife leaving him. Two years ago.
>> No. 1990 Anonymous
21st July 2011
Thursday 3:53 pm
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>>1986
Being stuck with a middle aged man who is obsessed with trains and still lives with his mother is just as bad if not worse. He is a fucking luddite who i'm suprised still works there after the introduction of PCs in the work place during the 90s.
>> No. 2020 Anonymous
27th July 2011
Wednesday 1:05 pm
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Don't be hating on trains man.
>> No. 2026 Anonymous
30th July 2011
Saturday 2:28 pm
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>>1953
>Fat people are always so full
of themselves.
>> No. 2028 Anonymous
30th July 2011
Saturday 3:34 pm
2028 spacer
>>2026

And also food.
>> No. 2365 Anonymous
8th November 2011
Tuesday 10:04 pm
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THE LADS. THEY'RE IN THEIR 30'S BUT THEY'RE STILL LADS AND THEY LET YOU KNOW THAT THEY'RE LADS EVERY OPPORTUNITY THEY GET. LADS LADS LADS.

THEY HAVE POT NOODLES EVERY DAY. DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THEY'RE LADS.
>> No. 2382 Anonymous
14th November 2011
Monday 9:14 pm
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THE FUCKING POTTED PLANT



AAAAAARRGYGTFERFGRJHEFGERJHFGERAFGHKFGLKSEBFGODFBGDFKBGIDFKABGKAUDTHUIERGTRKZG
>> No. 2383 Anonymous
15th November 2011
Tuesday 11:05 am
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>>2365

Post divorce lads in their 40's and even 50's are far worse.
>> No. 2384 Anonymous
15th November 2011
Tuesday 11:20 am
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>>1986
They are always hilarious. They never seem to understand why it happened, why oh why did she run off with a mobile-phone salesmen 15 years younger, but then you spend an hour listening to them droning on and think nothing but GO ON GIRL.

I'd echo the hate of pointless training. This Friday I must attend "corruption and bribery" training. Apparently, it's kind of bad if I take money off suppliers and shit. FML.
>> No. 2385 Anonymous
15th November 2011
Tuesday 4:01 pm
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>>2384
Come work for me bruv.
Take em for all they're worth.

I AM A 90's BUSINESSMAN
>> No. 2386 Anonymous
16th November 2011
Wednesday 7:35 am
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>>2385

Reminded me of this.
>> No. 2387 Anonymous
16th November 2011
Wednesday 11:54 am
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>>2386
Thats what I was aiming for m8.
This can be our anthem.
https://www.youtube.com/v/3OGQZzEOnHA
>> No. 2388 Anonymous
17th November 2011
Thursday 12:53 am
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I work from home now (for a company), but we're all based from home and meet up in a regus every week or two). It's great for avoiding workplace bullshit.

But this thread reminds me of my old work. What a pit of agony that was. I would go a week without doing work. I would browse the internet all day. I would sometimes crack one off in the toilets.

The fat one who's a ' bit crazy' - omg yes, we had that. She was admin/accounts.

We had a smug manager too, had done everything you could ever imagine and as soon as you mentioned something he done it better. Weekend in some European city - oh yes I went there in a kayak, backwards, jumping off a mountain, blindfolded, chortle chortle chortle, I'm so special.

God just thinking about working if an office again fills me with rage. I wouldn't have patience or tolerance for it.
>> No. 2427 Anonymous
18th November 2011
Friday 7:38 pm
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Fucking invalids who don't know what they want but think I do. "What would you recommend for a 15 year old?" I don't know what music your son listens to do I? Fuck off you old slag.
>> No. 2428 Anonymous
19th November 2011
Saturday 10:49 am
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>>2427

Lad, I think you need to stop being an angsty teenager. Ask what sort of music he's into and point to the relevant section, if she doesn't know point to the pop section.
>> No. 2429 Anonymous
19th November 2011
Saturday 11:07 am
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>>2428
Or flog them a bloody token, make everyone happy.

Or, of course "double handed elbow deep fisting", but we've not got it in stock, try HMV.
>> No. 2430 Anonymous
19th November 2011
Saturday 12:50 pm
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>>2427

A beefy poz load is what I'd recommend. I've got some right here if you point me in the right direction.
>> No. 2517 Anonymous
2nd December 2011
Friday 9:12 pm
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GONNA SPRAY HALF A CAN OF IMPULSE WHILE I'M SAT AT MY DESK SO IT'S ALL EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE CAN SMELL FOR THE NEXT 5 MINUTES.
>> No. 2518 Anonymous
3rd December 2011
Saturday 1:07 am
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HELLO I AM A WOMAN AND EVEN THOUGH THE MEN HAVE TO WEAR SUITS AS PER THE DRESS CODE I CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK I LIKE.
>> No. 2519 Anonymous
3rd December 2011
Saturday 1:19 am
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HI I AM YOUR BOSS EVEN THOUGH I HIRED YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR SPECIALIST SUBJECT KNOWLEDGE I AM GOING TO DISREGARD YOUR ADVICE BECAUSE SIMON IN ACCOUNTS JUST SHOWED ME SOMETHING COOL AND SHINY
>> No. 2520 Anonymous
3rd December 2011
Saturday 1:59 am
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YOU WENT THROUGH TWO MAJOR SETS OF ROADWORKS WHICH REDUCED LARGE STRETCHES OF A-ROADS TO ONE LANE AT RUSH HOUR IN YOUR TEN MILE MORNING COMMUTE ON THE EARLIEST BUS YOU CAN REALISTICALLY CATCH?

THAT'S NO EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE 6 TIMES THIS YEAR. NEXT TIME I WILL FIRE YOU AND NOBODY WILL WANT TO HIRE YOU WHEN THEY HEAR YOU HAVE POOR PUNCTUALITY. I DON'T CARE THAT ONE OF THOSE TIMES WAS 43 SECONDS AND IT'S NEVER BEEN OVER TEN MINUTES AND THERE WAS ALWAYS A REASONABLE EXCUSE, IT STILL COUNTS AS A LATE AND IT MEANS I CAN TREAT YOU LIKE YOU CAME IN AN HOUR LATE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO PLAY XBOX FOR LONGER.

NO, OF COURSE YOU CANNOT JUST WORK FOR LONGER AT THE END OF THE DAY WHENEVER IT HAPPENS WITHIN REASON, NO INITIATIVE ALLOWED. THE ARBITRARY PROTOCOLS SAY THIS AND THAT AND IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE ANYWAY BECAUSE WE HAVE TO FOLLOW THEM.

I mean, fucking hell. It's not like I'm on shift work behind a till, it shouldn't even matter when I start and finish. I'd do it at night time if they'd let me.
>> No. 2521 Anonymous
4th December 2011
Sunday 2:24 pm
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When I used to work in a foundry (IN A FACTORY! REMEMEBER THEM? BRITISH PEOPLE ACTUALLY MAKING THINGS TO SELL! HARD TO BELIEVE I KNOW) The office seemed like an unreachable wonderland. Just sitting about all day in a clean quiet envitronment sipping in comfy chairs with no actual physical labour. No constant clanging of metal together in extreme heat, repetetive heavy labour and going home black faced like a fucking coal miner every day. Cannily I managed to use their training budget to get an A level at evening classes for free on a one year course and then fucked off to uni as a mature student with my shiny new A grade in English lit before they shut the place down and fucked off to China.

During the summer breaks a succession of temping at offices began and suddenly my days of banging bits of metal together seemed like halcyon days of employment in comparison. The sour faced 100 yard stares of the 50+ accounts workers who had spent the last 30 years banging at a calculator slowly waiting for retirement, pension and then death. Staring at the same fucking faces saying the same shit everyday, the pointless un-eneding paperwork and form filling, the already mentioned pointless bickering about parking spaces, the fucking awful tasting tea and coffee machines and the accompanying mini rows about whose turn it was to get the teas/coffees/hot choclolates from the machine. Everyone getting excited if they were bringing in a buffet for some pointless meeting full off bullshit management doublespeak, flow charts and stupid acronyms purely because of the chance of a free sausage roll or whatever.

The only brightside at one of my office jobs was the Gareth character, his constant wearing of WWF wrestling t-shirts on dress down Friday was always a great sense of amusement, as well as dialling his extention number on all the fax machines in the office, putting them on repeat and then watching him exploding with rage after the 50th call of fax whining noise. Also he had a hideous whale like girlfriend who worked there and the building suffered from sick building syndrome or whatever it's called and the nice Indian lady who worked in our group got stuck in the lift with them for half an hour while he not so discretely started fingering her while they waited for the lift to be fixed much to our mirth and merriment and her disgust. Also to break the monotony we'd engage in pranks on our friends in the office by smearing the earpiece of their phone on the stamp ink or margarine whilst they were away from their desk and then ring them up and hang up after a few minutes or dismantle their mouse and stick it to the desk.

Whilst I was at uni i got a part time job working at a pub and for the first time in my life actually started enjoying going to work and have worked in 'the pub game' as we like to call it ever since. Sure I have plenty of gripes and annoyances about the work, but I do on the whole enjoy my work and the main gripe I have really is working in social/working mens clubs and the utter morons who usuallly end up on t'committee. Pubs wise as well as long as your not working in wetherspoons or some chain like that (might as well be working at McDonalds) The worst thing you have to do is dealling with the chavs, drunken morons or facing up to wannabe 'gangster' types who think they run the fucking place and identifying and chucking out any pikeys when they start chancing their arm and try coming in, but that is pretty easy if you have the physical presence and bollocks to stand up to them.
>> No. 2524 Anonymous
5th December 2011
Monday 8:15 pm
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Secret santa.

Whoever decided it was a good idea should be shot.
>> No. 2525 Anonymous
5th December 2011
Monday 8:58 pm
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>>2524

Just get something passive-aggressive like a dieting book.
>> No. 2526 Anonymous
5th December 2011
Monday 9:00 pm
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>>2525
So far I'm torn between a supercar calendar and whisky stones.

Whatever I get will be shit, but it beats the shit on http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/christmas-gifts/christmas-gifts-for-men.html?gclid=CO_b3Yrc66wCFWEntAod2kMQ9A
>> No. 2527 Anonymous
5th December 2011
Monday 9:23 pm
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>>2526

I can tell before even clicking that the gift ideas will be monumentally retarded.

If someone gave me a choice, I'd ask for a new hard drive for my computer.
>> No. 2528 Anonymous
6th December 2011
Tuesday 6:37 pm
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>>2526

Actually that site does have some decent stuff at good prices.

I just found myself a slanket for wanking reading in during the long cold winter nights, and it cost less than just about anywhere else I've seen them.
>> No. 2529 Anonymous
6th December 2011
Tuesday 6:55 pm
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>>2526
If it's anonymous, get something utterly retarded, such that while the receiver gets fuck all, everyone else benefits from a good laugh. Bonus if they're emotionally unstable and start crying.

Past Ideas used:
-2 cans of Thomas the tank engine spaghetti shapes.(crying bonus)
-A cardboard box filled with baked beans for the arrogant cunt who thought everyone loved him.
>> No. 2533 Anonymous
7th December 2011
Wednesday 1:05 am
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>>2529

>-2 cans of Thomas the tank engine spaghetti shapes.(crying bonus)

Someone cried at that? Explain.
>> No. 2538 Anonymous
7th December 2011
Wednesday 1:41 pm
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>>2524
Mate of mine tells me that where he works they've put a stop to it this year. Instead, they're clubbing together to buy presents for a charity that gives them out to poor kids.
>> No. 2540 Anonymous
7th December 2011
Wednesday 8:53 pm
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I've had a word with a few people at work and they've suggested that I get him either a bottle of port or something Porsche related as he's obsessed with them.

I don't even know why I'm worried about it so much; I'm not that keen on the recipient and I'm probably going to receive a Topman gift voucher or an FCUK bodyspray gift set.
>> No. 2546 Anonymous
8th December 2011
Thursday 7:56 pm
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>>2524

Pff. Just go to the shops, spend a fiver on sweets, and wrap it up so it's shaped like a stocking. 's what I did
>> No. 2550 Anonymous
9th December 2011
Friday 7:52 pm
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>>2540
>Topman gift voucher or an FCUK bodyspray gift

Every fucking Christmas.
Every fucking young man in Britain.

Every fucking time.
>> No. 2551 Anonymous
9th December 2011
Friday 9:04 pm
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>>2550
Lynx or Adidas sets for me.
>> No. 2552 Anonymous
9th December 2011
Friday 9:11 pm
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>>2551
I received this last year, but that's because my girlfriend's dad is incredibly tight and spotted them for about £1.50 at a market.
>> No. 2553 Anonymous
9th December 2011
Friday 10:20 pm
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>>2552
I think I remember you posting this as your entry in last years .gs' "Who got the shittest Christmas present" thread
>> No. 2554 Anonymous
10th December 2011
Saturday 12:08 am
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>>2552
I've given that to an Uncle this year.
>> No. 2597 Anonymous
18th December 2011
Sunday 6:15 am
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The hyperactive guy who's just soooo lolrandom funny that he can't help but tell everyone in the vicinity whatever mental detritus wanders in. "(Typical moan about typical day, sarcasm), ah, it's great here isn't it? Hahahah". Every. Fucking. Day.

You are not funny. I could ignore your mind-numbing prattling but after three hours of it, in an afternoon where I am trying to fix the work you never do, and when I really don't need to be reminded where I am, you are reminding me where I am. Stop bobbing your knee, you fucking spastic.

HNGGG. Multiple versions of this. Why me.
>> No. 2600 Anonymous
18th December 2011
Sunday 9:18 pm
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>>2552

Ha, they're in Poundland.
>> No. 2601 Anonymous
18th December 2011
Sunday 9:32 pm
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>>2597

This is basically me. Sorry lad, I'm just really lonely and haven't had friends for the longest time.
>> No. 2602 Anonymous
19th December 2011
Monday 1:30 am
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>>2601
I doubt you're the same, because I'm sure they wouldn't have recognised it if I'd shoved that post in their face.

Anyway look, I'm not some aspie where every verbal exchange needs to be factual and concise or it's a terrible burden - I don't mind a natter, honest. But when I'm staring intently at a screen and have pointedly and abruptly shut down the previous fifteen inane conversations with increasingly blunt answers I expect the hint to be taken. But no, fucking Zebedee and his knee are making my monitor shake and he's there singing gibberish to himself and announcing to the world what he's doing in a step by step fashion. God, just shut up. We don't all have to sit in silence, but not all thoughts need to be verbalised either.

Am I coming across as a curmudgeonly cunt? Because it certainly feels that way.
>> No. 2617 Anonymous
22nd December 2011
Thursday 2:17 am
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>>2602

Oh. This isn't me after all, then. I know somebody like this though. He's called Mike. He has bad breath and has no concept of personal space and frequently gets too close for comfort.
>> No. 2625 Anonymous
22nd December 2011
Thursday 6:36 pm
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I used to work in an elderly persons home. I found it really hard to cope with the constant bitching and polotics that would go on behind everyones back. I didnt befriend any particular group and would float around somewhat independently, hearing from everyone about how much the other staff suck and what they've done recently thats pissed others off and all that bollocks. Piggy in the middle, really. I was very uncomfortable for the 2 years i was there and as a method of coping i made a route and routine that i tried to stick to, constantly on the move so i wouldnt have to engage my coworkers, most of the time ending up in the kitchen where i would wash my hands every time. It soon spread like wildfire that i spent far too much time in the kitchen and "he doesnt stop eating, does he?". A lot of the time i'd walk in on them talking about me and in my infinite youthful wisdom would just let it pass. Fucking bitches.

The majority of the other carers all used the wrong lifts to aid the residents, argue with them and basically seem to make it as horrible as possible experience for them without actually violating them. Then they would talk about me behind my back complaining that i sit and talk with the residents too much or too little, i dont do any work etc when im doing exactly what im hired for, to improve the quality of life of these old people.
>> No. 2626 Anonymous
22nd December 2011
Thursday 6:43 pm
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>>2625
>I used to work in an elderly persons home.
I know of a girl who did the same. She had to stick her hand up someone's arse to help a poo come out and an old woman asked her to shave her fanny for her.
>> No. 2630 Anonymous
23rd December 2011
Friday 12:58 am
2630 spacer
>>2625
>>2626

Fucks sake if I ever get stuck into one of those I am going to slap somebody with my ape-like fists.
>> No. 2636 Anonymous
23rd December 2011
Friday 5:11 pm
2636 spacer
>>2617
I knew a Mike from work. Nice lad. Problem is he always spoke about video games. I like video games. I've been playing video games for the majority of my life. It's my favourite thing in life. I just didn't like how he kept talking about them when I'm doing work. However he got sacked for sitting around and doing nothing. To be honest I miss him.

I suppose the girl at work I keep trying to talk to thinks I'm annoying. My social skills are rubbish and I will tend to blurt out things rather than have a normal conversation where you move from topic to topic in a smooth flow.
>> No. 2639 Anonymous
25th December 2011
Sunday 2:13 am
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>>2636

My mike talked about Magic: The Gathering instead of video games.
>> No. 2640 Anonymous
25th December 2011
Sunday 10:49 pm
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>>2550 >>2551
The secret santa box was shaped like a Lynx gift set, but fortunately it turned out to be a few bottles of Erdinger and a pint glass.

My brother received two large 'best pub joke ever' books from his secret santa, so it could have been a lot worse.
>> No. 2644 Anonymous
27th December 2011
Tuesday 1:14 am
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>>2640
A tenner in a box for me.
>> No. 2667 Anonymous
11th January 2012
Wednesday 2:44 am
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>>1795
Bosses / co workers who want you to do things their way NOT because their way is more optimal but just to suit their ego, even if lets slower/less ecomonical.
>> No. 2668 Anonymous
11th January 2012
Wednesday 8:21 pm
2668 spacer
>>2667
There are times when doing things a bit differently is a good idea, and then there are times when it's a really, really bad idea. Predictably, most people with the "boss" mindset don't know one from the other.
>> No. 2669 Anonymous
11th January 2012
Wednesday 10:53 pm
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>>2529

For the Secret Santa I had in a class in school one year (thankfully the only fucking Secret Santa I have ever had to take part in) I got my person a pencil which I then wrapped in some wrapping paper.
>> No. 2674 Anonymous
15th January 2012
Sunday 12:06 am
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Working in retail has taught me customers are arseholes. Particularly when I'm putting stock out. They don't even see you. I observed some customers and they will happily move out the way of other customers but not staff. I dislike the ones who don't put stock back where it was. I'm not expecting them to put it in the same exact spot but when I see a book in the middle of the floor I wonder whether they're doing it on purpose. If you're one of those people who will treat me like another human and move when I'm carrying a stack of heavy encyclopaedias then thank you.

Also children. I've almost knee'd some of them because I didn't see them running across the shop floor right in front of me.
>> No. 2675 Anonymous
15th January 2012
Sunday 6:14 pm
2675 spacer
>>2674
>I dislike the ones who don't put stock back where it was.
When I was having my Tesco induction I'd spent a short while replenishing the yoghurt shelves when a monstrous blob of a woman bounded in, clumsily bundled most of the yoghurt pots into the middle of the aisle with her huge sausage fingers, picked up some that had a slightly longer (by a couple of days) best before date and fucked off.

I'd say I'm surprised that they didn't sack me for calling her a fat cow, but I used to work with a Portuguese fellow whom would regularly walk around the shop floor chanting 'fuck Tesco!' with one arm aloft and he was never in trouble for it.
>> No. 2676 Anonymous
15th January 2012
Sunday 9:06 pm
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I always make it a point to take the day off on my birthday. Surely I can't be alone?
Thank fuck it lands on a Saturday this year. Might just have the Friday off to be sure.
>> No. 2677 Anonymous
16th January 2012
Monday 7:15 am
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Primark...

There seems to be two schools of thought when customers decide they don't want the previously folded item they're currently holding. There are unashamed droppers and conscientious folders. Conscientious folders are the more tedious because you have to dredge up some plastic gratitude when they "thought I'd fold it up and save you a job". 15 seconds later you'll have to redo it properly, but bless them. At least with unashamed droppers we know where we stand; there are no feelings at stake and so long as the store is somewhat messy they're helping to keep me in a job.

Surprisingly hard to find something to moan about with Primark though. Average pay for a retail monkey, reliable employer, and even the clientele are more agreeable than I'd anticipated.

I may have diverged from the point of this thread, so here's a general annoyance: "it's just not good enough". The go-to refrain of a shitty argument with a low level supervisor.
None of your item in stock ---> "it's just not good enough is it?"
No extra large carrier bags left ---> "it's just not good enough is it?"
Soiled underwear can't be returned ---> "IJNGEII?"
I'm afraid we don't take American Express ---> "IJNGEII?"
Sorry, for refunds you need to go to customer services---> "IJNGEII?"
We can't trade on a Sunday till 11am due to the Sunday Trading Act 1994 ---> "No, that's not on, you're going to have to serve me now".
>> No. 2683 Anonymous
18th January 2012
Wednesday 7:29 pm
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I work as an intermediary.

Thing breaks, user tells me it's broke, I tell the developers that it needs fixed.

In this relationship, I am the lowest member. I will get shit from the customer because THING IS BROKE and that I should FIX IT FASTER even though I can't fix it. I get shit from the developers because THE REPORT ISN'T IN THE CORRECT FORMAT because there isn't enough info from the user to put it in the CORRECT FORMAT because all the information they have supplied is THING IS BROKE.
>> No. 2684 Anonymous
18th January 2012
Wednesday 7:30 pm
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>>2677
That post...

It's just not good enough is it.
>> No. 2685 Anonymous
18th January 2012
Wednesday 7:40 pm
2685 spacer
>>2683

Also bonus of the THING BREAKING a lot because the developers don't know what they are doing.
>> No. 2692 Anonymous
20th January 2012
Friday 11:29 am
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>>2677

>There seems to be two schools of thought when customers decide they don't want the previously folded item they're currently holding. There are unashamed droppers and conscientious folders.

I found that the droppers came in two formats: floor droppers and desk droppers. I preferred desk droppers. You are supposed to just refold floored clothes unless they are fucked up but I always folded them anyway.

God, fuck Primark. It was 4 weeks of wandering around looking for the specific place to put some dress and always getting caught dumping it by the same east asian girl who was pretty fit but clearly thought I was a twat because I appeared to always be dumping the clothes. And then I'd get yelled at for taking too long even though the night team changed the layout every fucking day so I never knew where anything was. And they didn't turn on the heating until the shop opened at 11 on the sunday so I was in a thin black shirt in -4 degree temperature... they wouldn't even let us wear the fleeces that the people in the back got.
>> No. 2693 Anonymous
21st January 2012
Saturday 12:58 am
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HELLO. I AM A RESTAURANT CUSTOMER.

I am sending this plaice back because it has bones in it. Somehow this has surprised me, even though fifteen minutes ago the waitress told me twice it was served on the bone. When you carefully salvage what boneless meat you can I will then complain to a manager about how I don't think there's enough meat on my plate. I will then get a huge discount and a free dessert, after which I will go home and post a review on yelp complaining about the portion sizes.

Also, next time I visit I will pick something from your prix fixe menu, for example, the hamburger, because I have no imagination, and then I will ask to substitute half of the dish with a la carte items. I will become indignant when you do not allow me to swap chips for a pavé steak at no additional cost.

TL;DR - customers who don't listen and can't read.
>> No. 2705 Anonymous
25th January 2012
Wednesday 4:18 am
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>>2692
I always think it's nicely chilly on a Sunday prior to opening. Then the thousands of fucking customers come in saying "ohhhh it's bloody hot in here, can't wait to get out", it's you people that are making the hot, stop perspiring so much.

>clearly thought I was a twat because I appeared to always be dumping the clothes.
I work on menswear so don't often have to venture down into the cesspit of humanity they like to call 'womenswear', but it's always hellish, I can empathise. I got caught recently trying to dump a load of returns, but I think the supervisor genuinely thought I was too retarded to distinguish between a black dress and a black dress with polka-dots; got let off with a friendly warning.

Also: fucking onesies...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSlzdtsBpO4

My uni has a job offer doing tele-begging for donations from alumni. +20% better pay and better hours, but I think I'd miss Primark :/. Anyone done the charity tele-sales thing? Is it as shit as one imagines?
>> No. 2707 Anonymous
25th January 2012
Wednesday 8:39 am
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>>2692
>And they didn't turn on the heating until the shop opened at 11 on the sunday so I was in a thin black shirt in -4 degree temperature...

There are laws against this thing, crossdresserlad.
>> No. 2715 Anonymous
27th January 2012
Friday 3:32 pm
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>>2705

>I always think it's nicely chilly on a Sunday prior to opening

This was back in Early 2011 though, when all that snow came down. They also cancelled the buses so I had to walk about 2 miles to get to the nearest bus stop to actually get in. Wasn't worth it, not even for the £7 an hour or whatever it was they were paying.
>> No. 2716 Anonymous
28th January 2012
Saturday 2:50 am
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Speaking of cold work environments my place (shop) has this too.

Apparently head office get awfully cross if you leave the front door closed even if it's freezing or it's windy. This is only a little store too. Every person I speak to always says there's something wrong with their head office. It's like all the head offices/headquarters don't have a clue about reality.
>> No. 2722 Anonymous
28th January 2012
Saturday 7:45 pm
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>>2716

They have a clue all right, it's simply that in their view the likes of you are serfs who ought to gratefully freeze for your minimum wage.
>> No. 2724 Anonymous
28th January 2012
Saturday 8:39 pm
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>>2722
>it's simply that in their view the likes of you are serfs
This.
When I used to work in M&S, the most idiotic "well it's just not good enough is it" was from a mare who apparently worked in the M&S head office. She came storming to the front of a 10 person queue shouting about how there shouldn't be such a lengthy queue in an M&S store. "...and why on earth are you the only person serving on these tills?" :/

If you can't work out that that shouting at staff isn't appropriate in-front of customers, and that this is a conversation to have with a manager, not a 17 year old till assistant; do you really have the mental faculties for a head-office job? She then wanted to be served first because she was 'busy' and got out her staff discount card.

Equally as stupid was when they used to send down head office people to do till work at peak times. Obviously their perspective was that this is easy grunt work, so they'd speed through it, get stressed, forget to do something like give change, and take twice as long.

Educated fools.
>> No. 2727 Anonymous
29th January 2012
Sunday 5:54 pm
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>>2724
>She then wanted to be served first because she was 'busy' and got out her staff discount card.
Up to this point, typical frustrating I'm-the-boss shit, but that really is a fucking joke. What aggravates me the most about this is that I bet in her mind she was completely justified in queue-jumping, because in her mind everyone else is "little people". It smacks of that particular brand of self-important horse-faced bitch that we've all had to deal with at some time or another.

I'm not having a dig at women, incidentally, men do it too (just with haughty indignation rather than nasal contempt).
>> No. 2728 Anonymous
29th January 2012
Sunday 6:04 pm
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>>2727

I've found that the mentality you identify is not the preserve of management - indeed, self-employed people and freelancers are among the biggest divas, while those "lifestyle coaches" and "social media consultants" and other people with faintly intangible professions are the most likely to sneer at people with, y'know, real lives and real jobs.
>> No. 2729 Anonymous
29th January 2012
Sunday 6:09 pm
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The problem with all head offices is that they see things in terms of profit, figures, research, initiatives, units etc etc. They make little allowance for the humanity of their staff, or for variations between different branches and their surrounding areas and populations. When this shortcoming is highlighted, they see it as an indication that they need MORE INFORMATION, MORE SCRUTINY, more fucking hot air being blown about, more directives, guidelines, incentives, appraisals, audits, inspections, feedback and and other horse shit, when all that's really needed is to TRUST the lower-level employees to make the customers happy. Let staff have some degree of autonomy, let them give the people what they want, the way they want it, and forget all the fine print of company policy. So long as the big picture remains intact that can only be a good thing. A lot of the time, things get too specific, too fine a point on everything because some paper-shuffler has to justify their existence.

I work for a popular London pub chain. my big gripe is that there's no challenge in the work, no prospects. I'm pretty certain I could manage an entire pub by now, given the correct information, but I've not been trained in ANYTHING at all. I've not even been certified as being able to pull a decent pint of bitter. I know how to change beer barrels, but I'm not permitted to do it because I haven't done a fucking course in cellar management or whatever it is. And the biggest pisstake? No bonuses or overtime ever. I worked christmas eve, christmas day and boxing day for £6.08 an hour. Minimum wage. The smallest amount of money they could legally pay me. Cunts. I mean why don't we do away with this half-assed insult of a wage and I'll just bend over and they can fuck me up the arse properly? MERRY CHRISTMAS.

There are some great things about it, it's not all complaints, but it wouldn't take much to make it really fantastic job, and that makes it all the more frustrating that it isn't. Considering the company has seen recent growth and expansion taking on new pubs, you'd think they might have the odd copper lying about to sling to the bar-monkeys for being the face of their company and actually taking in the millions of pounds they made over the festive season. The front-line staff are more important than anyone else in the company. Without people like me, they wouldn't sell a single pint, we make the business actually happen - and yet whenever anyone from head office visits we're barely glanced at, let alone asked our opinions or even our names. We're not even deemed intelligent enough to be responsible for our own mistakes - if we fuck up, it's the assistant managers fault, and if he fucks up it's the manager's fault, it's bollocks.

sorry this is so bloody long
>> No. 2733 Anonymous
30th January 2012
Monday 6:36 pm
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>>2693
People like that should be tied to a chair and have their teeth chipped out with a blunt chisel.
>> No. 2734 Anonymous
31st January 2012
Tuesday 12:48 am
2734 spacer
>>2724
Oh yeah that's true, I remember saying hello to a young bloke in a shirt and tie from head office putting out the fruit salads in the run-up to Christmas. As I was relatively new I asked him a question and he said he didn't have a clue either. At least he seemed to admit he was in over his head though.
>> No. 2738 Anonymous
2nd February 2012
Thursday 12:32 am
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Zenoslad here. Recently we have been training from 9 - 12.30 and then jobseeking from 1.30 - 4.15. The network, being much too shit to actually handle the amount of people accessing it, crawls during 1.30 - 4, so what the head office decided to do once notified of the problem was let our floor get on the Internet from 1.30 to 3 and then let the other floor get it from 3 - 4.15.

My suggestion, which was suggested to someone who would have to suggest it to someone who would have to suggest it to someone who would have to suggest it to someone, was to allow our floor to jobseek from 9 - 12.30 and train in the afternoon, and do the opposite for the other floor. This would reduce load and allow people to access the Internet when required.

We're not doing that, because (and I quote) "That's just the way it is, and it would be too difficult to reschedule the timetable."

That first one is a poor excuse for anything and that second one is bollocks because it really just is a case of "What shall we do now then? That? Okay." But no, we get to 3pm and all of a sudden the proxy is refusing every single connection from our floor. Doesn't matter if you were doing stuff. Doesn't matter that we have to edit a CV for an hour and a half every day even though I literally have nothing else to say in it and am dangerously close to waffling as is and then can't even email it to myself because they don't allow the Internet again until the next morning. And worst of all, worst of bloody all, this new classroom they tossed us in - unlike the old one - is borrowed from a teacher who actually disabled the USB ports, so we can't even put a VM on the server and LAN counterstrike with my friends like we used to.

All in all, I don't get the bloody nitpickery and autism displayed in the corporate environment. Maybe I will group together with some of the people in my class and start our own PC repair company and use common sense and probably go bust because people only want corporate-brand pretend™ common sense and not actual common sense. Sage for my immense amount of bumpains at how stupid and incompetent everyone on this course has got in the last week.

And almost nobody has a placement either. They keep sending out notification emails in size 60 font looking for people who need C and PHP knowledge. And I keep getting bloody ignored when I email the work person my own findings. I only want to do it because those BTEC assignments were a chore enough for me to want something tangible out of them. Maybe I will fuck their framework off and move to Sweden.
>> No. 2750 Anonymous
3rd February 2012
Friday 4:52 pm
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>>2716
me again

minus fucking 5 and head office demanded we keep the doors open. Do they have no fucking sympathy?
>> No. 2751 Anonymous
3rd February 2012
Friday 5:00 pm
2751 spacer
>>2750
Just close it and deny all knowledge if challenged.
>> No. 2752 Anonymous
3rd February 2012
Friday 8:25 pm
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>>2750
There are laws against this kind of thing, lad.
>> No. 2753 Anonymous
3rd February 2012
Friday 8:26 pm
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>>2750
Follow these simple instructions buddy
>> No. 2754 Anonymous
3rd February 2012
Friday 8:39 pm
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>>2750
Phone Greenpeace and tell them how much energy your head office policy is wasting.
>> No. 2755 Anonymous
3rd February 2012
Friday 10:03 pm
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>>2752
Name them.

It's going to be minus 12 tomorrow and I want some info on specific laws which say you cannot leave the door open on a cold day.
>> No. 2756 Anonymous
3rd February 2012
Friday 10:08 pm
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>>2755
The Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992
>> No. 2757 Anonymous
3rd February 2012
Friday 10:17 pm
2757 spacer
>>2756
I can see a guideline on maximum temperatures (16 Celsius or 13 Celsius for strenuous work) but nothing about minimum temperatures.

I'll keep this in mind though. Most officials seem to stop and think about it when you just mention the name of a law/act/regulation
>> No. 2758 Anonymous
4th February 2012
Saturday 12:41 am
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>>2757
13c is cold. 16c is also cold. Room temperature is 20-25c, usually 22c or so.
>> No. 2759 Anonymous
4th February 2012
Saturday 12:41 am
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>>2758
I should clarify; I mean to point out that that is a silly maximum temperature.
>> No. 2760 Anonymous
4th February 2012
Saturday 2:21 am
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>>2758>>2759
Oh dear I've made a mistake. Those aren't maximums or minimums.

It's the temperature which is considered reasonable. There's no maximum or minimum. There's no real law saying "don't allow your employees to work in a freezer without a coat". This is all common sense which is something head office don't have.

Any other laws/acts/regulations on the well-being of a worker?
>> No. 2772 Anonymous
5th February 2012
Sunday 3:34 am
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>>2760
Just close the fucking door and be done with it.
>> No. 2773 Anonymous
5th February 2012
Sunday 9:45 am
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>>2772
... and then blame it on a customer.

My mum used to go around shut shop's doors for them when she thought they were wasting too much heat. Terribly embarrassing to be around, but exactly the sort of behavior you could benefit from.
>> No. 2777 Anonymous
6th February 2012
Monday 5:12 am
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>>2773
I like your mum.
>> No. 2778 Anonymous
6th February 2012
Monday 7:10 am
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People using my fucking tools and not cleaning and returning them when they're finished.
>> No. 2779 Anonymous
6th February 2012
Monday 8:32 am
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>>2778
At one of my previous jobs I lent a fat bint one of my pens and she absent-mindedly started chewing the end of it.
>> No. 2780 Anonymous
6th February 2012
Monday 11:49 am
2780 spacer
>>2779

Hope she unknowingly ingested some of the ink as well.
>> No. 2781 Anonymous
6th February 2012
Monday 2:59 pm
2781 spacer
>>2778

This, every job I've ever had has brought me at least one cunt who will borrow something of mine without even asking then leave it on their desk/station. Then you have to hunt around for it for ten minutes then you find it and it's covered in matter.

There's always one cunt at my current job who will use my knives without asking. He is french (aren't they always) and pretends to not understand english so I have to scream "mon couteau" at him and he just shrugs. I would stab him, but he has my knife.
>> No. 2782 Anonymous
7th February 2012
Tuesday 8:39 pm
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>>2781
Made this for you
>> No. 2783 Anonymous
7th February 2012
Tuesday 9:56 pm
2783 spacer
>>2782

You have truly brightened my day. This is getting printed out and stuck on my station. Thank you.
>> No. 2784 Anonymous
8th February 2012
Wednesday 1:41 pm
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>workplace annoyances
People with "hilarious" jokes on the walls, corny wisecracks about how rubbish it is to work wherever they're working. One below motivational posters in my estimation.
>> No. 2785 Anonymous
8th February 2012
Wednesday 1:42 pm
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>>2782
Stephen Lawrence approves.
>> No. 2786 Anonymous
8th February 2012
Wednesday 2:09 pm
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>>2784
>People with "hilarious" jokes on the walls, corny wisecracks about how rubbish it is to work wherever they're working. One below motivational posters in my estimation.

< I used to have this up above my computer. Then I forgot to take it with me when I left.
>> No. 2787 Anonymous
8th February 2012
Wednesday 5:35 pm
2787 spacer
>>2786
Technically I guess that's both, so I hate you twice.

Though really I meant the authentic motivational pictures, the ones like "PERSISTENCE: Everyone falls, only the great get back up and climb again" with the silhouette of a rock climber against a sunset or some shit like this. At my last job a head of department had some in his office, they were obviously inkjet printouts though, which diminished the impression of success somewhat. He was friendly to me but a bit of a cunt by all accounts, and a raving Welsh nationalist. I also knew a Greek lad in uni who had some on the wall in his room (non-ironically, if you can believe that). He was also a bit of a cunt, and kept trying to knob my mate despite her knocking him back in increasingly less polite ways; that seems to be a bit of a thing with Greek lads, though.
>> No. 2788 Anonymous
9th February 2012
Thursday 2:18 am
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>>2787

If shitskins are going to study in this country, at least make them stay in one special uni. Maybe SOAS.
>> No. 2790 Anonymous
9th February 2012
Thursday 4:26 pm
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>>2786
No to steer the conversation in the other but I'm pretty sure the whole "takes more muscles to frown than smile" is complete bollocks in the same way people who say "you only use 10% of your brain".

Optimism is fine but don't try and make up facts which are in fact not facts at all.
>> No. 2791 Anonymous
9th February 2012
Thursday 10:12 pm
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>>2788
We'll have to disagree there, Greek dickhead aside most of my mates at uni were foreigners, and the few cases of real aggro I encountered involved Brits. And physiotherapy, weirdly; you'd think potential physiotherapists would know better than to get into physical altercations.

You should see the fees the foreign students pay for the privilege of studying here, fucking nuts it is.
>> No. 2793 Anonymous
10th February 2012
Friday 11:19 am
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I've become so jaded to demotivationals and their layout being appropriated for any caption on the Internet that I actually quite like motivationals now.
>> No. 2846 Anonymous
18th February 2012
Saturday 9:32 pm
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>>2782

Looks like someone needs to brush up on their diversity training, eh?
>> No. 2976 Anonymous
12th March 2012
Monday 6:26 pm
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Having to write in greetings cards at work.

It's bad enough having to come up with some variation of 'have a good one!' when it's writing birthday cards for someone in the office, but someone's dad died at the weekend, so we all had to write in a sympathy card for her. If you're one of the first two people writing you can get away with 'thinking of you' or 'sorry to hear about your loss', but everyone else is fucked if they don't want to sound like you're repeating what everyone else has put. There were people sat with their head in their hands for ages trying to come up with something original and others were looking on Google for something to put.
>> No. 2977 Anonymous
14th March 2012
Wednesday 2:36 pm
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>>2976
I used to just stick my initials. I was a temp in a factory with 300 people, i never actually got asked to put anything in a card for anyone i'd met.
>> No. 2978 Anonymous
14th March 2012
Wednesday 2:48 pm
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>>2976

Protip: her dad's just died, she doesn't give a shit about whether you made an original comment in her sympathy card. Just sign the cunt and move on with your life.
>> No. 2981 Anonymous
16th March 2012
Friday 3:08 am
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>>2978
Actually people do.

I once wrote "whoops" in very tiny letters in one of those sympathy cards. There were so many messages (it was the boss and this was a large company). I had never met the boss because I was only there for a week which is why I was surprised when I was given the card to sign despite my protests. I was on work experience and a rather edgy 15 year old. I was in the middle of making cups of tea when she came storming in demanding who put that in the card. She was violent. Throwing cups, pens, saying she'll write the same thing in THEIR sympathy card because she'd throw them off the roof.

I have to stress that there was almost no way you can notice that little message in that short a time. I always assumed people just take a quick glance over the messages and then put it on the mantel.
>> No. 2982 Anonymous
16th March 2012
Friday 5:45 pm
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I hate the phrases: "Going forward" and "We'll touch base soon". The latter sounds like a euphemism and by boss can just fuck off about the former.
>> No. 2983 Anonymous
17th March 2012
Saturday 12:04 am
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When a boss goes "we need to get x done, don't we?" when they know they play absolutely no role at all in getting x done. We're not doing it, I am. You prick.

They always seem to tell you to do the thing about three milliseconds before you're about to go and do it, too, so it looks like you forgot or weren't going to do it until they reminded you. This is why I loudly announce my entire work plan to all colleagues, so they know I'm onto them.
>> No. 3043 Anonymous
4th April 2012
Wednesday 2:01 pm
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People who are proud of how useless they are with a computer.

"I don't hate computers, they just hate me!!!"
>> No. 3049 Anonymous
4th April 2012
Wednesday 3:47 pm
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>>2982
My last boss had a particular verbal habit. I'm hesitant to mention the specifics, because it was fairly distinctive and we get good Google here, but nevertheless her overuse of this particular word was parodied whenever she was out of earshot, to the point that when she was away for a fortnight on business, we put it on a sign on the office door.
>> No. 3050 Anonymous
5th April 2012
Thursday 10:24 pm
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Clipstrips
>> No. 3051 Anonymous
6th April 2012
Friday 7:21 pm
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>>3049

Mine said 'obviously' an awful lot. I started counting once; every time he said obviously I would stick a strike in a text document. I got to 183 in a fortnight.
>> No. 3052 Anonymous
7th April 2012
Saturday 1:29 am
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The Big Boss at my place always says 'reem'. Nobody even knew what it meant until that TV show popularised it. He'd say something like "this menu you've done, it's reem mate" and I wouldn't know whether to thank him or apologize.
>> No. 3053 Anonymous
7th April 2012
Saturday 11:52 am
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305330533053
>>3049
>> No. 3101 Anonymous
18th April 2012
Wednesday 1:20 pm
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>>3043
You don't get to complain about this unless you've worked in IT (not saying you haven't, it's a fairly techy crowd around here).

I could not count how many times I've heard "computers hate me", but it still manages to tick off my little inner autist. Computers don't hate anything. I'm going to do my best to help you out, I will be polite and friendly and endeavour in all ways to be the model opposite of the smelly, socially retarded neckbeard that typifies the average PC repair guy, but for the love of God, just admit that you're not good with computers - not the other way around. And please try not to act so fucking proud of that fact.

While we're on the topic:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Dont-Read/111518022199801
>> No. 3103 Anonymous
18th April 2012
Wednesday 4:55 pm
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>>3101

Jesus fucking christ.
>> No. 3105 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 2:56 am
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>>3104
ah old people.


When you work in a charity shop that's your main customer right there. Just last Saturday one bloke came in and as loud as he could shouted about how he was stuck in his house for 5 weeks then wandered off without even buying/browsing the wares. Also there's only so many beards on women I can manage. I mean these are full on beards that rival my own.
>> No. 3106 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 8:31 am
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>>3105
Let's not forget "single dole mum" taking advantage of the "4 for £1" offer on VHS tapes, regularly coming in buying PG and U tapes as a kind of ersatz-nanny.
>> No. 3108 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 3:37 pm
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>>3106
We don't sell VHS videos anymore.

Probably why I don't see any of these single dole mums. For DVDs the only DVD you can get for a quid is those work out ones with Davina McCall or 100 Greatest Goals commentated by David Seamen.

Oh that reminds me. People who come in to declare that they can get something cheaper at a different charity shop than ours. Well go there then? The only differences between here and there is that we won't put out clothing with blood and piss all over it and we'll check every CD and DVD for scratches. We're the M&S of charity shops.
>> No. 3109 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 3:45 pm
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>>3108

They're almost certainly lying in hope that you'll lower your prices for them. It's a charity shop so they think the prices are negotiable, a bit like at a car-boot sale.
>> No. 3110 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 3:53 pm
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>>3109
Am I the only person who finds this attitude just a little bit horrible? "I'm sorry, what? This is a shop that raises money for people with cancer and heart defects, and you want a discount on something that costs £3?"

Just. Fuck. Off. Don't even get me started on the shoplifters.
>> No. 3111 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 3:55 pm
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>>3110
>shoplifters

I don't want to believe this. Fucking hell.
>> No. 3115 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 4:46 pm
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>>3111
You'd better. Some little pikey scrote even nicked the charity jug thing for spare change one day...
>> No. 3117 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 4:50 pm
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>>3115
Unfortunately, it seems that's nothing new.
https://www.youtube.com/v/9qLV4fiI4ps
>> No. 3120 Anonymous
19th April 2012
Thursday 5:03 pm
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>>3108
BHF right?
>> No. 3121 Anonymous
20th April 2012
Friday 12:20 am
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>>3115
We had a trouser man. Arms covered in needle marks he'd come in take 4 pairs of trousers to the changing room put them all on under his original baggy pair and walk out.

Didn't dare confront him because we enjoyed being alive but found offering him help and having everyone watch would make him leave.

also BHF are overpriced, all shops (should) put out clean stuff.
>> No. 3122 Anonymous
20th April 2012
Friday 1:12 am
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>>3120>>3121
BHF take the piss. £4 for a pre owned cd thats goes for £1.99 on ebay.
>> No. 3123 Anonymous
20th April 2012
Friday 4:33 pm
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>People who come in to declare that they can get something cheaper at a different charity shop than ours.
Pure class. Haggling at a charity shop, honest to God. Some people are unbelievable.

What did you say to that? I'd have a hard time keeping a straight face I think.
>> No. 3131 Anonymous
23rd April 2012
Monday 1:25 am
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>>3120
Yup

>>3122
What kind of CD? It's very rare a CD should go out for £3.99. Those are only reserved for very recent CDs that are popular that aren't donated often. It's like the holy grail of CDs for us. Even compilation CDs rarely go above £2.99.

>>3110
I had a great time at my shop on Saturday. Shoplifters aren't that bad but it's the fuckers who break into the alleyway where you put our rubbish out. They don't even nick anything they just open all the bags up and trash the place. The lock on the door has been broken so many times that sometimes we leave the alley unlocked. They break in at least once a week and do this. Landlord won't do fuck all and 99% of solutions I can think of have been shot down due to 'elf and safety nonsense.

>>3123
You get used to it just like any job. You just smile and nod. Sometimes I come into work completely oblivious to what customers are saying. One man came in and saw a glass vase that we put out and told me it was cracked. I was so out of of it I didn't get the hint which is obvious as fuck. I just said "oh well that happens unfortunately" when really I should have said "oh dear, thank you for telling me I shall put it away so no one can buy it"


Not sure how other charity shops deal with staff discount but BHF offers a 25% one which is pretty damn good. Can't use it on new stock mind you (birthday cards for example. Yes I buy all my birthday cards from BHF. 99p is a bargain these days with the way cards cost now)
>> No. 3133 Anonymous
23rd April 2012
Monday 2:25 am
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>Not sure how other charity shops deal with staff discount but BHF offers a 25% one which is pretty damn good.
Don't you get to pick freebies out from whatever comes in? Within reason. Actually maybe that's a bit like haggling in a charity shop, only worse.

Probably not, then.

As a workplace annoyance I'll add the slightly scary alcoholic who came into our IT shop pish drunk mid-afternoon and asked if we repaired PS3s (we don't), mumbled for a few minutes about DVDs, games and how much they cost these days, and then asked if we buy PS3s second hand. Even with the display desk and counter between me and him, the sour, ethanol smell was overpowering. We did not buy his PS3 that day, despite apparently incongruous assurances that it was working fine.
>> No. 3134 Anonymous
23rd April 2012
Monday 3:09 am
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>>3133
>Don't you get to pick freebies out from whatever comes in?
As far as I'm aware, that would be somewhere between misappropriation and outright theft.
>> No. 3135 Anonymous
23rd April 2012
Monday 3:24 am
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>>3133>>3134
Nope you don't get freebies.

I wasn't allowed to price stuff up until after a few month, same goes with other volunteers. The amount of people who scam and cheat charity shops goes beyond just shoplifters. Hell just on Friday we got a phone call about someone who had apparently been working in our shop for the last 8 months but none of us knew anything about him. That's pretty minor but there's been a history of staff pocketing petty cash, fixing prices so they can get stuff for cheaper, stealing stock and there was even one case where someone worked at one shop so he could get his mates to "break in" and steal everything. The stock in charity shops may be cheap but with the right people they could make off with a fortune and justify it with "oh well it's not like they paid for the stock either".

So yeah, we don't get freebies. We do however get to bagsy stuff within reason. You can't just say "I want this large box of DVDs". A book or DVD here and there is acceptable.
>> No. 3136 Anonymous
23rd April 2012
Monday 1:07 pm
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>>3131
>Sometimes I come into work completely oblivious to what customers are saying
Eh? Now you're the one being a bit of a prat.
>> No. 3137 Anonymous
23rd April 2012
Monday 2:22 pm
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>>3136
True. But my job there is mainly tagging, sorting through books/DVDs/CDs/Games and not being on the shop floor. Never been on the till. I'm really not the sort of person who should work retail but that's all there is these days.

Also about haggling in charity shops. While we do get hagglers we get "regulars" who know when something has been out for more than a couple of weeks. It's really scary when you've got multiple customers saying specific books have been out for ages when I can't even remember putting them out. These are older people with memories worse than my own too.
>> No. 3138 Anonymous
23rd April 2012
Monday 2:24 pm
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>>3137

Imagine being a regular at a charity shop. Just imagine.
>> No. 3140 Anonymous
23rd April 2012
Monday 6:29 pm
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>>3138
I'm... I'm probably a regular. There are nine in my town and I check around them pretty often, it probably works out at once a week or so. I've found lots of interesting CDs and records and picked up some good older videogames, and every now and then there's a shirt or jumper that isn't hideous.

I don't keep a mental note of what is for sale at each, though. I wouldn't have thought it possible to be honest.
>> No. 3142 Anonymous
25th April 2012
Wednesday 1:55 am
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I love going into charity shops and laughing at the vinyl on offer.
>> No. 3143 Anonymous
25th April 2012
Wednesday 2:32 am
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>>3142
BHF don't sell them anymore. Same with cassette tapes (with the exception of maybe audio books), games before the PS1 era (and cartridge except for gameboy games but I tend to toss them out as the internal battery is dead if it's a game that has a save feature). We don't do and media that pretty much died such as betamax and HD DVD. Of course VHS we no longer sell. We're relatively hip for a charity shop.

However we got bags full of old Beano and Dandy comics. Oldest was only in 1992 so they weren't too valuable. There must have been at least 500 comics. We put maybe 200 out in a bag (I can't remember what we priced it at but it was definitely less than a fiver) and within an hour they were gone.

Probably on ebay by now. One bloke bought 20 CDs and 10 DVDs. You can tell who's an ebayer on that basis alone.
>> No. 3144 Anonymous
25th April 2012
Wednesday 2:40 am
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>>3143
>One bloke bought 20 CDs and 10 DVDs. You can tell who's an ebayer on that basis alone.
Not always. There's a guy I know who regularly raids the charity shops for CDs and vinyl. He's a hospital DJ. He showed me a stack of NOW compilations that he'd picked up for something like a pound apiece.
>> No. 3145 Anonymous
25th April 2012
Wednesday 2:54 am
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>>3144
Hah we just throw those NOW comps away.

Just like how all Jeremy Clarkson books are sent to "rag".
>> No. 3146 Anonymous
25th April 2012
Wednesday 8:37 am
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>>3143
Why not sell old games?
Sure if it's Fifa 96 bin it. But there are plenty of old SNES & Megadrive greats.
>> No. 3147 Anonymous
25th April 2012
Wednesday 12:08 pm
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>>3146
How often do you think old SNES and Megadrive greats turn up?
>> No. 3148 Anonymous
25th April 2012
Wednesday 1:29 pm
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>>3147
When I was volunteering a couple of years back at a local shop, we had a great load of gaming stuff come in. Megadrives, Mega CD's, SNES's etc.

They do come in, but the majority of better stuff is on ebay now. It's just the odd loft clearance / kids moved out so chuck his stuff without asking parents.
>> No. 3150 Anonymous
29th April 2012
Sunday 9:58 pm
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I work in Spar.

They want me to come in, sign in and be ready to start work 15, yes fifteen, minutes BEFORE I am scheduled to start working. Now I have no problem with arriving at work 5 minutes early so that I can be signed in and all ready to start working at the exact time at which I am scheduled to begin work, the exact time that I will be payed from.

Now ok, that just a bit annoying, but it gets worse.

They want me to be working until exactly the time I scheduled to work (thats totally fine, obviously), but then they want me to cash up my til in my own time! What the fuck? Did it for the first time yesterday, and It took 17 minutes. I hope it will speed up to the "3 minutes" that they tell me it should take. First time cashing up (new policy) so obviously a little slower as learning.

Again thats not really all that bad (if it really will only take 3 minutes in the future), but I already have to work an extra 10 minutes as I work evening shift so have to close the shop door at 11 (and not a second sooner or will be fired), and then take off the tills, lock them away and generally shut down and lock up the shop.

So to summarise: 15mins unpaid work before my shift technically starts, 10minutes unpaid work when we shut the shop down at the end of the day, and now an additional 10 minutes to cash our tills up. (Can only cash one till up at a time, 3 tills). So thats half an hour at least of unpaid work, every fucking shift.

Where do we stand legally here? I hear that its pretty common for you to have to do a few mins unpaid before/after your official shift times, but surely 30 minutes is taking the piss?

Am I being a baby about this? Ive worked there over a year, and these are "new policies" they are bringing in due to the shitfuck company (Crapper & Co) that used to own this Spar, being taken over by Blakemore CUNTS Limited.

Oh and to make matters worse, the S Budget Energy Drink that they used to get from Austria, is now being procured from an English manufacture, who has taken 5mg caffeine out (now 30mg/100ml when before it was 32mg/100ml) and they have fucked with the recipe in some other way which results in it being less flavoursome.
>> No. 3151 Anonymous
29th April 2012
Sunday 10:27 pm
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>>3150
>Where do we stand legally here? I hear that its pretty common for you to have to do a few mins unpaid before/after your official shift times, but surely 30 minutes is taking the piss?

Are you in a union?
>> No. 3152 Anonymous
29th April 2012
Sunday 10:43 pm
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>>3150
>>/acas/
08457 474747. If you're lazy, you could probably call them now and get a recorded message saying when they're open.
>> No. 3153 Anonymous
29th April 2012
Sunday 10:45 pm
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>>3151

No
>> No. 3157 Anonymous
30th April 2012
Monday 2:12 am
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>>3150

The lower you are down the food chain of most large organizations the shittier you are treated.
Might not be morally right but by and large its true
>> No. 3158 Anonymous
30th April 2012
Monday 2:22 am
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>>3150

Union lad. Join one. USDAW spring to mind. Once payment is through have a little chat with a union rep. Given as Spar are breaking quite a few laws hear, you will be fine. Union. Join.
>> No. 3193 Anonymous
7th May 2012
Monday 4:18 pm
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>>3117

Why the hell is CCTV footage so fucking low quality?
>> No. 3194 Anonymous
7th May 2012
Monday 5:16 pm
3194 spacer
STOP INFECTING ME WITH YOUR BASTARD GERMS.
>> No. 3195 Anonymous
8th May 2012
Tuesday 1:19 am
3195 spacer
>>3193
Because broadcast-quality cameras are fucking expensive.
>> No. 3196 Anonymous
8th May 2012
Tuesday 12:23 pm
3196 spacer
>>3195

Could they just not leave a high-end webcam on?
>> No. 3197 Anonymous
8th May 2012
Tuesday 5:51 pm
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>>3193
Lack of investment over the decades, combined with the ongoing need to minimise storage space. Additionally the need for cameras which work well in all lighting conditions also makes things harder.

They've improved a lot recently though.
>> No. 3219 Anonymous
18th May 2012
Friday 3:11 pm
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Being caught in the middle of work politics. I don't care about your problems people. And it's unprofessional as fuck.

Being set unrealistic targets that cannot be achieved.

Promises being broken. Namely, "I'll certainly help you on that project you've been given no training on." No help arrived
>> No. 3233 Anonymous
22nd May 2012
Tuesday 3:13 pm
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>>3219
>Being caught in the middle of work politics. I don't care about your problems people.
Oh, this. I make this abundantly clear to people up front. I'm there to do a job, and that job is not helping you build a fucknig empire.
>> No. 3271 Anonymous
31st May 2012
Thursday 8:36 am
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>>2518
This has really narked me off during the recent hot weather.
>> No. 3318 Anonymous
10th June 2012
Sunday 12:31 am
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>>3150

Oh my god I thought it was just my store that was horrible to work in.

That said, it really shouldn't be taking you that long to cash up a till, you're only counting your change, taking out the excess and writing down a bunch of figures in a book. It only took me 5 minutes when I first started.

I know this will sound a bit silly, but try counting in different ways. The way I like to do it is to get a calculator and count each denomination, punch it in and add it up as I go. Just drop them in the compartment from your hand and count as you go.

One more thing, how can you have worked there for over a year and only have cashed up a till yesterday?
>> No. 3460 Anonymous
12th July 2012
Thursday 6:53 pm
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Elderly people should be banned from shopping between noon and 2pm. They have all week to shop, if I need to pop out during my lunch break then I don't want to get stuck in a great big tide of jam made out of old women.
>> No. 3461 Anonymous
13th July 2012
Friday 3:09 am
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>>3460
OK we'll make that happen, just for you, princess.
>> No. 3463 Anonymous
13th July 2012
Friday 7:54 am
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>>3461
Making sardonic posts in a thread about people's annoyances? N1 m8.
>> No. 3464 Anonymous
13th July 2012
Friday 9:53 am
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>>2520

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/Flexibleworking/DG_10029491

You are allowed, by right, to apply for flexible working. They don't have to give it to you, but they have to properly respond (unless you have a statutory right to flexible working - in which case they pretty much have to let you).

So apply - and hope they don't even bother to respond properly. Then if/when they fire you for being late again, you can say you applied for flexible working and were refused and also that your application wasn't even properly considered. This will look great at an employment tribual when you sue them for constructive dismissal or similar. If you have even half a case, most employers will settle out of court (or be made to by their liability insurers). You can get legal aid or some form of legal asssistance to go through this process too.

It's got to be worth the time to write a letter to apply for flexible working hasn't it? 20 minutes work now might net you £10-15k in six months time!
>> No. 3470 Anonymous
13th July 2012
Friday 11:19 pm
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Because the stupid fucking barstaff have either been stealing or simply not putting sales through properly, our bar is four grand down, which means now staff are no longer allowed to enjoy a nice cold - paid for - pint after work, or, in my case, a nice cold cuba libre during work. Luckily they haven't (yet) banned me from bringing in my own cans for the team to enjoy, as is the longstanding traditional staff incentive.

It may seem trivial but this sort of thing is bad for morale. And my theory is that outright banning people from even BUYING drinks from the bar after hours is only going to see even more money go missing. Because you can't leave evidence of PAYING for your beer, what else can you do but steal it?
>> No. 3472 Anonymous
13th July 2012
Friday 11:55 pm
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>>3470
I took my girlfriend to a bar/restaurant for dinner today and the bill was about a tenner cheaper than I was expecting because they forgot to charge for drinks.

I'd feel guilty if they weren't charging £2.50 for Cola when it probably cost them ~20p.
>> No. 3475 Anonymous
14th July 2012
Saturday 12:46 am
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>>3472

I feel it's duty to defend restaurant drink markups. They're there, in most cases, to subsidise your meal. All of the good stuff we serve in restaurants, the steaks, the salmon, the fresh vegetables, we make almost no profit on. Some things, lobster being one example, actually costs us money to serve. Overcook one Thermidor and you're in the red. Charging thirty quid for a ten quid bottle of wine is what keeps the restaurant afloat. We can do very clever things with food margins, but to deliver quality, we need people to buy the Bollinger every once in a while. I would say this is the last great restaurant secret, that selling food isnt very profitable, but I'm sure Bourdain has beat me to it.
>> No. 3478 Anonymous
14th July 2012
Saturday 9:20 pm
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>>3464
This might not last. The main reason employers like to settle ET cases is because unless they can prove to the satisfaction of the Tribunal that the claimant is taking the piss, the employer pays for the whole process and cannot reclaim their costs. The Tories predictably want to change this, and also want to restrict the right to be dismissed fairly to those with two years' service - which is convenient, given that in many places two years is what is required for "permanent" status.
>> No. 3482 Anonymous
18th July 2012
Wednesday 8:47 am
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Ever get that feeling that you do all the work when your managers do largely fuck all, in terms of hard graft?
>> No. 3483 Anonymous
18th July 2012
Wednesday 10:21 am
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>>3475
This would explain why kitchen staff are the most over worked and underpaid poor bastards I've ever met.
>> No. 3484 Anonymous
18th July 2012
Wednesday 10:44 am
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>>3483

Indeed. Though chefs do love to complain. I guarantee it's not as bad as they make out. A) nobody stays in kitchens if they don't, deep down, enjoy it, because its certainly not about the pay or the sociable hours, and B) the pay isn't as bad as some make out in most places. There's not a cook at my place who isn't on at least £9 an hour, and a 60 hour work week is not uncommon. And a lot of places have back of house tips, which adds another quid or two per hour. Restaurants have been forced recently to increase wages in a big way, to compete with places backed by trillionaires that can afford to poach chefs with lavish salaries. These places are doomed to fold from day one, but that is a different rant entirely.
>> No. 3485 Anonymous
18th July 2012
Wednesday 10:53 am
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Why do people keep asking me if I'm enjoying my job?

Whilst there are some lines of work with good satisfaction I have to say being a remedial worker in retail is not one of them. The worst is putting on a smiley façade for days you don't feel like smiling or saying much.
>> No. 3486 Anonymous
18th July 2012
Wednesday 11:42 am
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>>3478

I agree - it's cheaper for them to settle than to go through the process, even if they win. It is also easy to take the piss as a digruntled former employee. If I were made redundant or fired I'd chance my arm anyway. The worst that can happen is that your case is dismissed before a hearing.

I fully realsie it's "people with my attitude" that might mean an end to fair dismissal practices for thousands of workers with less than two years continuos service and I'm not proud. I was just advising the fellow ladmate what might be able to do to blag a few quids!
>> No. 3492 Anonymous
19th July 2012
Thursday 2:48 am
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>>3486
>The worst that can happen is that your case is dismissed before a hearing.
The worst that can happen is that you're ordered to pay the Tribunal and your former employer for wasting their time.
>> No. 3506 Anonymous
21st July 2012
Saturday 8:13 pm
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>>3482

I do. I know I shouldn't, because even though I'm the one keeping everything in order and doing the daily grunt work, without the managers nobody would process the paperwork to pay me, to order more stuff for me to move about to continue being paid or stay on top of the latest company line so I don't get sacked for breaking the newest bullshit rule that only lasts a week before it gets scrapped.

Also there would be nobody to blame when I fuck up.
>> No. 3525 Anonymous
26th July 2012
Thursday 9:26 pm
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Dear boss,

Please stop asking me to do things. Any time you ask for my advice, you ignore it, then come to me asking why I didn't warn you. Any time you ask me to recommend something, you do the exact opposite, then blame me when it all goes tits up. Any time you give me a project, you pull it as I'm halfway through, usually after I've got external contacts which you authorised hanging on it.

Seriously, stop doing that shit. It gets right on my tits and gets in the way of me doing my job.
>> No. 3555 Anonymous
30th July 2012
Monday 7:19 pm
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I'm an assitant working the stores of a local electronics factory. Pretty cushy job all things considered, it's not a huge amount of manual labour aside from carrying the odd heavy box. Mostly I just label and pack things.

The one thing that really gets on my tits though is the factory radio. It is *always* tuned into the same fucking station, day-in and day-out. What's bad about that is they always play the same pop-hits from the past couple of deckades as well as new-age X-factor shite. If I have to hear "I just met you, and this is crazy" one more time I will go on a shooting rampage.

Picture related: it's how I remain sane.
>> No. 3556 Anonymous
30th July 2012
Monday 8:07 pm
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>>3555
Perhaps you could ask management or maintenance or whoever to vary it up a bit throughout the day? Ask your co-workers and see if they're irritated by it too so you can request in numbers.
>> No. 3557 Anonymous
30th July 2012
Monday 8:13 pm
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>>3556
Oh we did, it's how we managed to get the station changed from Magic to Real Radio. I may ask again but I fear I'm in the minority this time.

As I say, my job is pretty cushy - if I'm just sat doing labelling I can usually just plug my headphones in and listen to my own music. If I'm moving around to take stock or something then it's not an issue.
>> No. 3558 Anonymous
30th July 2012
Monday 8:14 pm
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>>3557
I've phrased that wrong, it's not an issue if I'm sat down or if I'm busy enough I don't notice the radio. But see first paragraph regarding that.
>> No. 3583 Anonymous
4th August 2012
Saturday 5:29 pm
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>>3555

I had to listen to Radio 1 all day in my last job.
I can't even describe how awful it was although THE PLAYLIST FOR THE ENTIRE DAY WAS FIVE SONGS is getting there.
>> No. 3585 Anonymous
4th August 2012
Saturday 6:45 pm
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>>3583
>Coming up after Newsbeat, Fearne will be playing the same ten songs but in a slightly different order.
I know that feeling well.
>> No. 3593 Anonymous
7th August 2012
Tuesday 11:41 am
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Radio? You think radio is bad?

How about having a PA system that is hooked up to the internet, that plays one playlist and one playlist only - a playlist updated perhaps every six months, a playlist entitled "mild easy listening". This is a playlist of about 20 songs, each more inoffensive and terrible than the last. Acoustic Morrissey covers sung by honey-voiced hippie chicks, cheery folk pop, and just generally things like this : https://www.youtube.com/v/xW2fZYhlOKM

On repeat, all fucking day. You think you can tune it out, but you can't. It's there in the background, drilling into your skull. You'll hear the song out of work, and start having cold sweats, some sort of Pavlovian reaction. "I can hear THE SONG! I must work! I need to work!". Far more effective than anything that came out of MKULTRA.

That fucking playlist played no small part in my decision to leave the company that inflicted it on its customers and employees. Then there was the time they got the bagpipe player in. Fucking hell that was brutal.
>> No. 3596 Anonymous
7th August 2012
Tuesday 1:25 pm
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>>3593
That monster looks very hirsute.
>> No. 3602 Anonymous
7th August 2012
Tuesday 8:41 pm
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>>3593
I worked in a charity shop as part of the Work Programme for 2 months, they had one Christian Rock CD, 5 tracks. OVER. AND OVER.
>> No. 3609 Anonymous
8th August 2012
Wednesday 1:55 am
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It's not so much the music that annoys me at mine, it's the adverts.

Smooth FM is fucking awful. CLAIM PPI and DON'T DO IT YOURSELF particularly. I tell a lie I do hate the music. I'm sick of hearing that Will Young song. It's been at least 2 fucking months.

I miss Radio 2 just so I can go without the ads. I may hate Tony Blackburn with a passion but I can tolerate it.
>> No. 3641 Anonymous
11th August 2012
Saturday 4:09 pm
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>>3593

Honestly that's the main reason I quit my last job.

My secondary reason was the utter lack of prospects and terror of being stuck in menial work all my life, but I can get over that.

The radio was truly terrifying.
>> No. 3645 Anonymous
11th August 2012
Saturday 5:38 pm
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I work as a cashier in a supermarket. People seem to suspend their brain function when they come in.

I don't manually fucking calculate your bill. If something comes up at the wrong price it's because someone in an entirely different department fucked up earlier in the week, completely without my involvement. If you bring in the wrong coupon or don't read the one on the package it's your fucking fault.

If you know me socially and try to talk to come to my til and ask me if I can find any drugs or bitch at me about my relationship with your friend I'm going to ignore you entirely and have you banned from the premises as a shoplifter.
>> No. 3699 Anonymous
21st August 2012
Tuesday 6:03 pm
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I find it completely unprofessional when superiors swear in front of you. Even more so when they do it at you.
>> No. 3953 Anonymous
8th November 2012
Thursday 10:50 am
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First thing when I got into work this morning to find my computer's already on with the task manager open and my boss is hovering nearby looking accusative.
>Anon, you've installed something on your machine that's [Caused our proprietary software not to work properly]! It's just downloading junk data.
Have I? There was a similar problem with [our other software] before, ever since I reformatted my machine it's been unable to find the correct drivers.
>You never told me this! Let's go through the installation process.
We do so then reach the point where we can't get any further due to the same problem
>Wait, this looks familiar
Yeah there's a screenshot of it I emailed to you last week. Remember those two conversations we had about it?
>Right. Well, there's a task running that's using the memory and must be making it go wrong. I don't recognise these tasks, it must be something you've downloaded or installed. Now I'm going to stand here and watch while you find out what each one does.
I don't think that's how ram works, but okay. He hands me a list of running tasks to put into google.
>SMAgent.exe, PELMICED.EXE, RTHDCPL.EXE, FSRremoS.EXE, ico.exe, igfxrvc.exe, etc
...

I do that while he watches.
>Okay well you'd better get on with your work there's still some orders left you didn't finish yesterday.
I wasn't in yesterday. I say nothing.

>> No. 3955 Anonymous
8th November 2012
Thursday 7:13 pm
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Decided to give all of this thread a readover, as it has been a while since I've seen it.

>>1817
>The shitters in my current job are a disgrace and not worth wasting time in.

I posted this nearly 18 months ago. I reckon I spend about an hour a week sat on the bog, dicking around on my phone while I'm meant to be working.
>> No. 3956 Anonymous
8th November 2012
Thursday 8:50 pm
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>>3955
Do you use Twitter on the shitter?
>> No. 3957 Anonymous
11th November 2012
Sunday 2:50 am
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I work at Primark, and to echo some of the other lads in the thread who work/worked there, it's full of minor annoyances (though I'm less tolerant of that stuff due to my maximum autism). It's a decent enough job in terms of pay and the fact it's not physically/mentally challenging, but there are some things that fuck me right off about it.

I work on tills, so I have to bear the initial brunt of customers' complaints. Sometimes these are reasonable, but sometimes they can be total cunts. I get a few customers a week who will spend 15 minutes making me go through every single item on their receipt. If they think they've been charged incorrectly, that's fair enough, but I start to lose patience when I have to go through every item in the bag multiple times to show the prices are correct and the machine didn't make a mistake and also there is a queue spanning the entire length of the store I need to serve.

There are those customers who will pick up an expensive item that they claim has been placed on a £1 rail. I apologise, explain it was probably placed there by error, but the item is still the original higher price which is clearly shown on the clothes tag. They then claim this is false advertising and they can write to Watchdog or something as it's against trading standards. Also, customers getting something from a "FROM £[x] Items Priced Individually" rack and then getting butthurt when the price on the tag is higher than the lowest value on the price point.

Also when I am closing the till banks and am standing in front of the queue points directing customers to another till, they have a tendency to look at me like shit and walk past me when I explain that these tills are closing.

And then the other members of staff annoy me as many of them dawdle and chat and banter instead of serving customers. They wonder why the supervisor is "such a bitch" when they're spending their time bad mouthing her instead of doing the work while I toil away in silence like the friendless Aspie self-medicating sociopath I am.

Sage for ramblings of a lonely autist.
>> No. 3959 Anonymous
16th November 2012
Friday 7:24 pm
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>>3957

Brighter people suffer more. How do you medicate yourself? Please don't tell me it is booze.
>> No. 3960 Anonymous
16th November 2012
Friday 10:02 pm
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>>3959
Booze, chain smoking, solvent abuse. A trio of readily available, mind-altering substances that make my life more bearable. Also prescription anti-depressants.
>> No. 3963 Anonymous
17th November 2012
Saturday 11:38 pm
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>>3957
Sure, but the benefit of Primark is that the focus of the business model is high volume of sales rather than intensive customer service. The majority of staff and customers realize this and act accordingly; the minority of idiots willing to have an argument about £1.50 are of no value to the company, and any supervisor/manager worth their salt will politely tell them to fuck off.

My personal highlights:
*after faffing about fetching items for some entitled dick* "I'm sorry sir, you're going to need to do your own shopping from now on, this isn't the sort of place that offers concierge"

*after a woman insists she WILL be getting free cotton shopper bags from us*
"You can either pay for the cotton bags, make do with the paper bags, or go elsewhere"

*after an old dear insists she'll be writing to the press about the fact that her receipt is out of date*
"I don't believe this is front-page news, you can write to our head office if you like though."

(I miss that supervisor)

>>3959
Bullshit, that's some Holden Caulfield bollocks for lackluster teens.
>> No. 3984 Anonymous
3rd December 2012
Monday 9:47 pm
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JUST BLOW YOUR FUCKING NOSE. STOP AGGRESSIVELY SNIFFING UP EVERY 10 MINUTES.
>> No. 3985 Anonymous
3rd December 2012
Monday 10:04 pm
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>>3963

>I don't believe this is front-page news

Oh, I don't know.

>PRIMARK CONS DEFENCELESS WARHERO
>Labelled "thieves" by rights group

>An investigation by the Star on Sunday has found staff at Primark conning innocent customers out of their legal rights.
Described by one consumer rights group as "tantamount to theft", staff employ a myriad of excuses to avoid their duty to refund customers.
Tipped of my Gladys Monroe, 94, who recieved the George Cross during her time in the WAAF during WWII, the Star on Sunday's man can reveal that the leading high street store trains staff to lie to customers regarding their rights.
Our man attempted to return a coat bought from the store and was denied a refund, but was told by a manager in the Neaden branch that his "reciept was out of date" and that a refund was not possible.
Despite the receipt not mentioning an expiry date the store refused to refund the purchase.
We spoke to Which?, the leading consumer rights organisation in the UK.
Martin Wallace, Which's directer of consumer legislations, told us that "Under the Sale of Goods Act a receipt is not required to claim a refund on an item.
"There is also no legal basis for stores claiming a cut-off point for a punter's right to return a product, as long as it is in mint condition.
"Frankly, for a store as large as Primark to attempt to avoid legal responsibilities in this was it tantamount to theft."
>> No. 3990 Anonymous
5th December 2012
Wednesday 6:53 pm
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>>3985
>There is also no legal basis for stores claiming a cut-off point for a punter's right to return a product, as long as it is in mint condition.
This would be funnier to me if a lot of people didn't genuinely believe that sort of thing.
>> No. 3991 Anonymous
5th December 2012
Wednesday 7:50 pm
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>>3990
What are you on about, lad? That part is correct. The only time limits that apply to your statutory rights are 6 months for presumption of inherent defect and the 6 years impose by the Limitations Act.
>> No. 3992 Anonymous
5th December 2012
Wednesday 11:00 pm
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>>3991
Oh yeah, my mistake Lad.






...that is, unless
>it is in mint condition
Therefore we're not talking about statutory right to an implied warranty for faulty goods, we're talking about the customer's right to return a product in contract as per the terms of sale.
Lad.
>> No. 3995 Anonymous
6th December 2012
Thursday 4:15 pm
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>>3992
>we're talking about the customer's right to return a product in contract as per the terms of sale.
Which would therefore have no legal basis. Lad.
>> No. 3996 Anonymous
6th December 2012
Thursday 6:28 pm
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>>3995
>contract
>no legal basis
Freeman on the land lad?
>> No. 3997 Anonymous
6th December 2012
Thursday 7:21 pm
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>>3996
Fuck's sake, lad. How many times do we have to go through this? "Legal" in this context refers to statute.
>> No. 4005 Anonymous
11th December 2012
Tuesday 6:20 pm
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The receptionist.

Everytime she's in the kitchen area she's on the phone talking about PARTYING and how it has been so long since her last drink. If she was in her early 20's this wouldn't be so bad but she's pushing 40, has 2 kids and the physique of the Michelin Man.
>> No. 4006 Anonymous
11th December 2012
Tuesday 6:42 pm
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>>4005
Get yourself down to your local Yates on a Saturday night pal
>> No. 4009 Anonymous
12th December 2012
Wednesday 9:50 pm
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I worked as a 'Telephone Fundraiser'. A tele-begger is a better way of putting it. Like a Chugger but I'd get to stay indoors. I'd call people all over the UK and beg for monthly direct debits on behalf of the Red Cross or whatever disabled kids charity we were doing that week. The whole place just reeked of failure, and they'd hire anyone who came to their wanky group interviews, which gives me tons of material for this thread.

My group interview was half students, half stereotypical looking people on JSA who've been made to attend to keep their money coming in. Led by the fairly standard WACKY OVERLY-FRIENDLY APPROACHABLE GUY who cracked lame jokes for half of it and tried far too hard to act younger than he was. He spoke a lot about Fall Out Boy leading me to believe he's been stuck in a Groundhog Day type situation since 2005, doing group interviews with shitheads day after day. Once I got the job and moved onto the killing floor I met some real characters.

One fat cow who wouldn't talk to anyone who hadn't been working there for 6 months. She'd straight up ignore you until you put your 6 months in, then she'd be all smiles and rainbows. Admitted this to me once I'd wasted half a year of my life there. Actually thought of herself as the top dog of the tele-begging industry despite being fairly average with her donations.

An Indian chap with a thick Indian accent, who could change it to perfect Queen's English that would make Hugh Grant weep at the drop of a hat. It really was amazing to listen to. He got the most donations per hour out of anyone, and was drafted in as a secret weapon when we were having a slow day. When he did his switch to perfect English he sounded a bit like a BBC radio presenter from the 1950s.

A kid fresh out of school who hated everyone and everything, and would break the laws we were bound by on every call by refusing to stick to the script and making up information on the spot to get more money from people. He was the second best performer on the floor so he was kept around. We were all written up by head office several times for not sticking to script because of the little bastard. Won an iPhone last Christmas because his donation per call ratio hit the roof, turned out he was finding out if the person on the phone was a single parent, and making up horror stories about abuse to gain donations.

A man who was in his 50s at least, and always wore a hi-vis jacket into the office. Never took it off. In summer he wound everyone up because the sunlight would bounce off his jacket and glare up everyone's monitors. He got fired because he said 'tit' on the phone to a potential donor whilst head office was monitoring his call. In an act of defiance he made off with all of the good cups in the break room leaving everyone to drink tea out of pint glasses for the rest of the week.

A flaming homosexual, who got fired 10 minutes into his first shift. I was sat next to him, and his calls went as follows.

- "Hello?"
-"Hello, I'm calling from X on behalf of ~charity~ today. Can we have some money please?"

That 10 minutes where he made about 15 calls got us all put on lockdown with constant monitoring from head office for about 2 weeks.

Tele-begging centres can be interesting places to work, with some real characters but I don't recommend it if you want to leave work with your soul intact.
>> No. 4010 Anonymous
12th December 2012
Wednesday 11:56 pm
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>>4009
>In an act of defiance he made off with all of the good cups in the break room leaving everyone to drink tea out of pint glasses for the rest of the week.

Nice.

Also, I really need to go back to uni. Fucking hell.
>> No. 4016 Anonymous
19th December 2012
Wednesday 4:41 pm
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>>4009

I had a very short lived job working for Capita trying to flog people iPads and suchlike over the phone. I left after a couple of months because the entire place felt like a Milgram-esque social experiment, where the management were chosen specifically for their incompetence but blind loyalty.

It was run by some Jewish bird, and in the least surprising move ever, the bloke who had been working his socks off for promotion for about six months got passed over for promotion in favour of another young Jewish lady who started work there about two weeks previously. I was surprised he didn't snap and go on an office rampage. Suits from Newcastle came down to tell us all we were doing the job wrong, and our managers literally told us to humour them, and go back to the way we were doing it after they left. There were arbitrary changes each and every day to the "offer" we were selling, almost always detrimental to our ability to sell the deal, and the paper thin way management tried to dress it up as a positive change made me genuinely wonder if it was just workplace doublethink or if they were honestly brainwashed. After someone made a sale there would be applause and cheers from everyone around in this bizarre positivity=productivity thing, which seemed to actually work, but it needed momentum; a day that started badly would end badly and once the pace faltered it was only ever downhill.

Amusingly, there was a small group of skinheads in the office next door. I always wondered if they were skinheads before they started working at a predominantly Asian call centre, or if it had been a response to the environment. It was also funny how before I left, I noticed the new recruits becoming more predominantly white, as a result of recruitment changing hands from the internal management to the external HR office.
>> No. 4028 Anonymous
19th December 2012
Wednesday 11:31 pm
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>>4009
Did the Indian chap sound like the bloke from the Speaking Clock that was "sponsored by Accurist"?

>leaving everyone to drink tea out of pint glasses
That's a bit arsey, punishing his colleagues rather than the company.

>-"Hello, I'm calling from X on behalf of ~charity~ today. Can we have some money please?"

>That 10 minutes where he made about 15 calls got us all put on lockdown with constant monitoring from head office for about 2 weeks.

Why? That doesn't sound like a particularly unethical or outrageous thing to say, it just meant he was rubbish.
>> No. 4055 Anonymous
24th December 2012
Monday 12:59 am
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>>4028

You have to stick religiously to the script you're given. Even substituting words for ones that are easier to understand if you've got a bit of a thicko on the line with you is a no-go.

Everything you read has to be signed off and approved by the charity you're representing, and whatever governing body there is for telebegging. When all the violence in Syria starting hotting up, we couldn't mention it to any people on the phone (even though it was a Red Cross campaign and they were in Syria at the time providing aid) because it wasn't approved by the charity.
>> No. 4056 Anonymous
24th December 2012
Monday 1:09 am
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>>4028

But to get donations from people, you really need to convince them. After you've done all your reasoning for the why the charity needs support, and you say "...so we're making these calls today to as many people as we can and asking if they can help us with a monthly gift of £2 a month, can you do that for us?", tons of people will still say no. It's just the way it is. You need to rub them up the right way to get a donation in.

Just asking for money right off the bat is going to get you hung up on, it's going to tank your PDD (paperless Direct Debit) to call ratio and it'll get you sacked.
>> No. 4058 Anonymous
24th December 2012
Monday 10:42 am
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>>4055
>stick religiously to the script.

A friend of mine used to work for Phones4U. Part of their script when sat down with a potential customer was that they had to put their pen down, put a finger under their chin and look like they were in deep thought, as if the potential customer had said something very insightful and profound to them.
>> No. 4105 Anonymous
5th January 2013
Saturday 10:47 pm
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my work.jpg
410541054105
I used to be an abseil instructor , I would work off my socks to build kids confidence to give the activity a go but once we got an adult to come up we had a lot of fun with them.

I remember mid abseil I asked the other instructor to halt the teacher going down and I shouted the knots haven't been adjusted for adult size. That was the face of fear that looked up.

Felt very sad afterwards that
>> No. 4106 Anonymous
5th January 2013
Saturday 11:20 pm
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>>4105
That was a practical joke or true and he died? What was sad?
>> No. 4107 Anonymous
6th January 2013
Sunday 8:55 am
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>>4106
It was a joke , seeing her face look up made me think about it for days.

Another time I told a group of kids you will be needing 3D glasses for this activity (they were cheering and whooping getting really excited about it) and I said they were just underneath the bench they were sitting on.

There was no glasses and I saw their excitement crush before my eyes.
>> No. 4108 Anonymous
6th January 2013
Sunday 9:05 am
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>abseiling instructor
Sounds pretty cool actually.
>> No. 4109 Anonymous
6th January 2013
Sunday 9:20 am
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>>4107
You are a cruel and brilliant genius.
>> No. 4111 Anonymous
6th January 2013
Sunday 4:41 pm
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>>4108
I was a TEFL teacher at the same location (foreigners come to the camp to learn English/have fun). The teaching part is what made me quit , the company treated the teachers like shit.

No time to prepare lessons , after lessons they were making us work nights and all this while the other instructors were getting trips to Thorpe park :(
>> No. 4129 Anonymous
10th January 2013
Thursday 5:52 pm
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Someone has started smearing shit on the walls in the toilets. Wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't almost exclusively used by 'professional' women.

Makes a change from trying to guess who has bulimia.
>> No. 4131 Anonymous
10th January 2013
Thursday 11:50 pm
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>>4129
Can you put up cameras (in non pervy locations) in the toilets?
>> No. 4132 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 8:11 am
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>>4131
That'd be up to the people who own the building and they don't seem arsed. There's a fair few companies in here so I doubt the shit spreader won't get caught. It's nearly as bad as school; used tampons rubbed all over the seats, flushers and door handles, unflushed shite, pissy tissue left all over the place. Fucking animals.
>> No. 4133 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 8:17 am
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>>4132
* will get caught. Whoops.
>> No. 4134 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 8:30 am
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>>4132

Where the hell do you work? They sound like proper chavs.
>> No. 4135 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 8:41 am
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>>4134
For a firm of accountants. There's solicitors, architects, marketing companies and all sorts in here.
>> No. 4136 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 9:06 am
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>>4135

Well no-one expects marketers or accountants to have any class, but architects should at least know how to look after themselves.
>> No. 4137 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 9:28 am
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if I worked as an architect I would slowly brick off all my workmates, slow imprisoning them.
>> No. 4138 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 11:08 am
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>>4136
This may surprise you, but some women are very unhinged.

You may have to put with lads (the ones who go to the likes of Malia and take dozens of pictures where they're naked with their mates, probably tea bagging one another) who think it is so jokes to leave a huge unflushed turd or to piss everywhere except the actual toilet, but some women are far, far worse.
>> No. 4139 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 11:21 am
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>>4138

Elaborate?
>> No. 4140 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 12:38 pm
4140 spacer
>>4138
I'm pretty sure the only thing that makes smearing your menses all over the walls somehow "worse" than smearing your shit all over the walls is because of this latent belief that periods are somehow inexpressibly dirty and foul, probably because they only happen to half the population so are viewed as something exotic and unusual by those who don't experience them. Or perhaps it's just a law of averages, where 100% of the population are capable of creating poop-smears, but only 50% of the population are capable of doing menses-smears, so naturally poop-smearing is more common and menses-smearing happens less frequently and seems, again, a little more exotic and taboo by comparison.

That said, leaving your used period rags anywhere except a bin is fucking disgusting, and I pity the cleaners who have to clean up some lazy, unhygienic bint's unwrapped sanitary towel from the top of the bins in the ladies loos. I know I certainly hate seeing it, the same way I object to seeing poo smeared around a toilet seat. The fact that I've seen both of these things in a ladies' loos really makes me despair for humanity sometimes.
>> No. 4141 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 1:10 pm
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>>4140
It went far beyond smearing. I'm talking using the string to fasten used tampons to door handles. There are many horrors lurking in schoolgirl toilets.
>> No. 4142 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 1:17 pm
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>>4140
>That said, leaving your used period rags anywhere except a bin is fucking disgusting,
In-fucking-deed: >>/101/7521
>> No. 4144 Anonymous
11th January 2013
Friday 1:18 pm
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>>4143
http://britfa.gs/101/res/7521.html
>> No. 4145 Anonymous
12th January 2013
Saturday 2:05 pm
4145 spacer
>>4141
I don't even begin to understand the thought processes behind why another woman would do this.

She must be mentally ill to some extent, I just don't even...eurgh.
>> No. 4157 Anonymous
15th January 2013
Tuesday 10:29 am
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Recently did a stint of temping over xmas for some extra cash. The person next to me was a dimwitted girl. She was really judgemental about other people's work (and people themselves) despite her own work being not outstanding.

She'd ask the most basic questions and couldn't even add up the number of completed sheets she'd done that day. This wouldn't be an issue but she's studying to be a primary school teacher. What hope do the next generation's youngsters have?

The worse part was breaktime. I hung around with the women (majority of women in my group) and all they would do is gossip over the most basic, banal, mundane shit over and over again. They kept speculating over why this person left despite having very little information. I've been told it's like this in work generally and that holds some water but this was ridiculous.
>> No. 4158 Anonymous
15th January 2013
Tuesday 11:04 am
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>>4157

Gossip at work is brutal and ubiquitous. I think a competitive environment brings out the worst in women. I get daily reports about which staff are gay, or alcoholics, and who fancies who, and my god I just don't care.

I once found myself being the only bloke working with a team of lesbians. That was brilliant. They don't gossip at work because they need to save their energy for the lezzer scandals, they don't complain like straight women, they don't make everything a competition like straight blokes, and they don't bitch like gay blokes.

TL;DR: hire carpet lickers exclusively.
>> No. 4159 Anonymous
15th January 2013
Tuesday 11:33 am
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>>1796

Lucily I've not had to work in an office that does it, but I've seen it loads of other times happen....
>> No. 4162 Anonymous
15th January 2013
Tuesday 6:43 pm
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>>4157
I knew a few people who are teachers, I'd say about half of them are thickos.

The women in my office don't really gossip, the majority of their conversations revolve around food. It tends to be the thinner ones more obsessed with it.
>> No. 4169 Anonymous
15th January 2013
Tuesday 10:04 pm
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>>4158
>I think a competitive environment brings out the worst in women.
I think it brings out the worst in men too, just in a different way. The ultra-competitive thing but also the politicking is there too, just in a different form.

>I've been told it's like this in work generally and that holds some water but this was ridiculous.
No, that's pretty much par for the course. Avoid it if you can and good luck if you can't.
>> No. 4170 Anonymous
15th January 2013
Tuesday 11:27 pm
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>>4162

Friend of mine works in school improvement. The kind of gig where the shit results necessitate intervention. Said person goes in to boost the GCSE and A level results, and is good - so it works. The staff apparently don't read books and consider this person a bit of weirdo for knowing a lot about English.

They can't spell very well, can't pronounce things like 'caesura' (KYE-SHOORA apparently), don't read the poems/books but teach the kids to 'feature spot' (i.e. underline the similes)...so it goes.

Naturally when the results do improve, its these same logheads who get the credit. My friend is now considering trying to organise pupil strikes.
>> No. 4173 Anonymous
16th January 2013
Wednesday 12:37 am
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>>4170

Fucks sake, is it really going to be like that? At the moment I'm on course for a 2:2 because I'm a slacking cunt, but I want to go into teaching...I don't want to do that if I'm surrounded by people who tried really hard to be as good as I am when I'm failing. How can one avoid schools with thick cunts? Should I be looking to the country or just schools with prestige?
>> No. 4175 Anonymous
16th January 2013
Wednesday 2:23 am
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>>4173

A close acquaintance worked for one of the best schools in the country. It is very well known. This person wrote the children's coursework and rehearsed oral examinations with them.

This was standard practice in the school.
>> No. 4176 Anonymous
16th January 2013
Wednesday 2:38 am
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>>4175

Yeah, it's kind of crazy how arbitrary the place of good fortune is in people's early lives.

For example, my geography teacher was head examiner for the exam board, also a brilliant teacher, and everyone did phenomenally well and had their imaginations and interests in the subject fired up. Like 80% of the class got A at A level because of him. I was gonna drop out of school at 16, and he (almost on his own) sustained my interest in learning and geography, and now I'm studying for a postgraduate.

And then my biology teacher was a drug addicted extreme 'leave-the-kids-alone-they-will-work-if-they-want-to' liberal hippy and everyone got trash grades and hated the subject. He didn't turn up to classes and spent the whole time telling self-indulgent anecdotes about his student life and much-needed soft drug reform. It really fucked up the chances of a lot of kids who needed top marks in Biology for their medical/dentistry applications.

It's obviously possible to overcome bad teaching, and to self-teach - but the impact a good teacher has at such a formative time is pretty astounding. That's what I would aim to be >>4173. It doesn't matter what kind of morons fall into teaching because they cant compete in the graduate job market in this economy, you can be an inspiration and profoundly alter kid's lives for the better.
>> No. 4177 Anonymous
16th January 2013
Wednesday 8:31 am
4177 spacer
>>4176
My science teachers at school were awful and I lost interest in the subject. The rest were neither especially good or bad. College, alcoholic accounts teacher notwithstanding, was great. At uni all but 3 lecturers (4 if you include the trainee who could relate any subject matter to his native Zimbabwe and something negative about Mugabe) would just regurgitate the lecture slides and not add anything else until it came to the last 2 weeks of the semester, when they'd tell us what would be in the exams. I think they saw students as an inconvenience that got in the way of pretending to do academic research.
>> No. 4182 Anonymous
17th January 2013
Thursday 7:33 pm
4182 spacer
The girls at work are obsessed with getting cards that everyone is expected to sign; one week it's congratulating someone in Leeds branch for squeezing out a kid, the next we're sorry that someone in London's dad died or congratulating someone in Edinburgh for getting engaged. I don't mind writing in birthday cards for the people I actually share an office with, but this is a bit much.
>> No. 4183 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 2:20 am
4183 spacer
>>4157
I've worked at three places, in two totally different environments (two of the places I worked were different branches of the same retailer, the other place was an office), and they were all full of gossip. The shops were mainly young people bitching about managers and talking about how the security guard is a flirt and about that fat lass on shoes giving a dirty look to the slutty girl on accessories or the LADs of the shop talking about how they'd fuck the Irish bird. The office's gossip was less nasty and vindictive, as most people who worked there were 30-50 year old women, but I didn't like the fact that they gossiped about me.
>> No. 4184 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 7:24 am
4184 spacer
>>4169

>I think it brings out the worst in men too, just in a different way. The ultra-competitive thing but also the politicking is there too, just in a different form.

Oh, absolutely. Men usually are quick to point out the flaws in each others work, to other people, or to just believe they are better than everyone else, to the detriment of the project. In many ways gossip is preferable.
>> No. 4185 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 7:25 am
4185 spacer
>>4184

I've always found that having objective third parties point out flaws in my work that I can't see is beneficial to whatever I'm working on.
>> No. 4186 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 8:01 am
4186 spacer
>>4185
There's a huge difference between constructive criticism and one upmanship. Both genders indulge in dick waving.
>> No. 4187 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 8:28 am
4187 spacer
>>4186

I prefer my dick waving to be done by either myself, or a chubby lass who would let me piss in her arse.
>> No. 4188 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 8:28 am
4188 spacer
>>4185

Me too, but the coworker who wants the same promotion you do is not an objective third party.
>> No. 4189 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 8:53 am
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>>4182
I got given one of these signed-by-everyone cards when I was leaving my job at the time (to go back to uni), along with an envelope with some money in it, and we all had a few pints at the pub after work. It was nice. I still have the card somewhere probably. I'd been there a bit over a year.

I am now working at the same place, with the same people, and my six-month contract ends in a month's time. I wonder how long someone needs to work in a place before they get a leaving do?
>> No. 4190 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 9:55 am
4190 spacer
>I wonder how long someone needs to work in a place before they get a leaving do?

Depends how much people like you. I would say once you hit the year mark they'd feel obliged, though.
>> No. 4194 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 1:29 pm
4194 spacer
>>4190

Never had one in twenty years, and no one I know has save for a guy that used to work for Bradford and Bingley. He left to go and die of a rare cancer.
>> No. 4195 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 1:50 pm
4195 spacer
>>4194

I guess it depends on the working environment, too. An office floor of 200 is probably never going to give you a decent send off, but a small shop of 10 or so working in a tight knit environment would.
>> No. 4196 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 4:19 pm
4196 spacer
>>4195

One associate's 'leaving do' consisted of filling up a skip behind the shop with the most valuable items on sale. That was a close-knit small business, run by the usual tight fisted wanker paying poverty wages. He sacked the guy who had managed his two shops for twenty years with no severance pay, and he died shortly after of a stroke, following a six month bender.
>> No. 4200 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 9:53 pm
4200 spacer
Pointless group e-mails. 100+ people do not need to receive a dozen e-mails that consist of nothing except in-jokes of 2/3 people sat next to each other.
>> No. 4201 Anonymous
18th January 2013
Friday 10:23 pm
4201 spacer
>>4200
On a similar note, at the place I was working recently instead of using the "____-allusers" address, someone copy and pasted the entire address book of about 2000 or so names including people in the american offices, just to say that someone had left their cars headlights on.

The email came to about 2MB, just due to the enormous address list.
>> No. 4202 Anonymous
21st January 2013
Monday 3:34 pm
4202 spacer
>>4200

It gets worse when some moron then manages to reply to all.

I am now retired, and in the time coming up to that I have to admit I severly abused company e-mail purely to piss people off.
>> No. 4203 Anonymous
21st January 2013
Monday 4:40 pm
4203 spacer
>>4201
If you think that's bad, look into "the Bedlam incident" at Microsoft.
>> No. 4462 Anonymous
27th March 2013
Wednesday 4:28 pm
4462 spacer
Shared kitchens. Some people are animals.
>> No. 4463 Anonymous
28th March 2013
Thursday 12:28 am
4463 spacer
>>4200
retarded hr person to ALL:
"it was xxx's birthday/xxx is leaving/xxx went on holiday/xxx was sick/xxx was feeling nice, there's cakes in the kitchen!"

never mind we have 50+ buildings all over the uk with numerous kitchens in each one.

nearly every fucking week. Fuck you Debbie, you must be a right fat bitch.
>> No. 4467 Anonymous
28th March 2013
Thursday 2:31 am
4467 spacer
>>4463
I sort of fancy the HR-types though. It's like forbidden fruit.
>> No. 4468 Anonymous
28th March 2013
Thursday 2:31 am
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>>4463

I've been getting snotty emails from someone on the other side of the globe reminding me that I must NEVER, EVER leave coffee cups in the staff room.

If I ever end up in New York I'm filling that fucking room with coffee cups and bits of paper that explain the difference between clicking "all users" and "local users" in the fucking email client
>> No. 4469 Anonymous
28th March 2013
Thursday 8:08 am
4469 spacer
>>4463
>retarded hr person

Mine must have a folder of templates for letters and e-mails that she saves over every time she uses them. She doesn't proofread so it isn't uncommon for her to refer to you by several different names (I had Kevin, Michael and my actual name all used in the letter I got when I joined) and she doesn't delete e-mail trails so she has on more than one occasion shared information that was meant to be confidential. Most of what she writes makes literally no sense, they either let her get away with it because she is Indian or because she has some dirt on the people high up.
>> No. 4875 Anonymous
4th July 2013
Thursday 11:54 pm
4875 spacer
The taps in the toilets at work go from freezing to scalding in a matter of seconds, so you need to be swift (or use more than one sink) if you want to wash your hands properly. There's an absolute bastard who leaves the taps on ever so slightly, so if you're not careful you'll put your hands straight into boiling water.
>> No. 4876 Anonymous
5th July 2013
Friday 12:08 am
4876 spacer
>>4469

>she has some dirt on the people high up

Most likely.
>> No. 4877 Anonymous
5th July 2013
Friday 12:47 am
4877 spacer
>>4876

This happens in companies more often than people realise. I've seen more than one "inexplicable" invincible employee who could almost spit in the manager's face and get away with it.
>> No. 4878 Anonymous
5th July 2013
Friday 12:48 am
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>>4877

Disposable cameras at the Christmas party...
>> No. 4879 Anonymous
5th July 2013
Friday 1:56 am
4879 spacer
>>4877

I once passed out at my desk after having taken GHB at work. I still didn't get fired.
>> No. 4880 Anonymous
5th July 2013
Friday 7:48 am
4880 spacer
FUCKING FLIES. IF YOU OPEN THE WINDOW BECAUSE IT'S SWELTERING THEN I'M GOING TO COME IN AND BZZZZZZZZ AROUND YOU.

>>4877
I've only ever known that happen in the public sector. If you're in the office side of things then it's almost impossible to get fired, including one old bloke who would regularly nap at his desk, cut his toe nails or just fuck off for an hour because he fancied a wander. Once he took me on a tour old all the old courtrooms in the guild hall because he was bored of working. He never got in bother for it, they'd just try and move him to another department.

Incidentally, one of the council directors was known to spit at people. There were far too many people on power trips.
>> No. 4881 Anonymous
5th July 2013
Friday 8:00 am
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>>4877
Ethnic minority women just don't get fired. Ever.
>> No. 4882 Anonymous
5th July 2013
Friday 8:03 am
4882 spacer
>>4881

That's because they'd then have to go through the hassle of hiring another ethnic minority woman to meet quotas.
>> No. 5026 Anonymous
18th July 2013
Thursday 11:33 am
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Every morning for the past fortnight someone in my office has had the same pack of foul smelling crisps. I don't know what flavour they're meant to be, but they're either McCoys or Seabrooks and reek of putrid cat food.

Reception have had to send an email out to say they've been forced to lock the disabled bog because people are literally leaving shit (and other bodily fluids) all over the place.
>> No. 5033 Anonymous
20th July 2013
Saturday 1:38 am
5033 spacer
>>4881

I got one fired by putting my phone on audio record as she tried to lie her way through a disciplinary she was trying to put on me to cover her own back. It was fucking glorious.
>> No. 5034 Anonymous
20th July 2013
Saturday 1:47 am
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>>5033
I thought it was illegal to record people without their consent.
>> No. 5036 Anonymous
20th July 2013
Saturday 1:57 am
5036 spacer
>>5034

It was a disciplinary hearing so I was within my rights to record the proceedings. But as far as I'm aware, it's perfectly legal to record a physical conversation, it's only when you record a phone call you start getting into shaky ground, but even then I don't think it's as clear cut as that.

I'm not even nearly a lawyer though so fuck if I know.
>> No. 5037 Anonymous
20th July 2013
Saturday 1:59 am
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>>5034

Then you are a fucking dullard. No biggie, but dear God read the fucking papers every now and then. Not only is it llegal it has been recommended that all people record important interactions by a high court judge.
>> No. 5040 Anonymous
20th July 2013
Saturday 2:16 am
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>>5034
Then the County Councillors have won. Mate, it's not illegal, in any sense.
>> No. 5042 Anonymous
20th July 2013
Saturday 12:24 pm
5042 spacer
>>5037
>Not only is it llegal it has been recommended that all people record important interactions by a high court judge.
Which case?
Because that isn't what Google says.
>> No. 5043 Anonymous
20th July 2013
Saturday 4:12 pm
5043 spacer
>>5042

I did try and track it down last night, but the fucking search terms regarding the case are too general.

High Court ruling last year. A guy in London had an autistic brother. He was getting a lot of stick from council workers who wanted to take him from his brothers house and into a non-London care facility, for dubious reasons. His brother started recording all interactions with them via a hidden dictaphone, which came in useful when two of them falsely accused his brother of assault.

Council prosecuted, and bullshitted their way through until court, at which point the recordings where produced and the case fell apart. The presiding judge commended him on making the recordings, said that the council's actions would have resulted in a "grave miscarriage of justice" and advised all citizens to take similar steps when dealing with authority. Case was duly slapped out of court.

Ruling was covered by the ES, Indy and Graun at least, and the Eye had been all over this case like a rash for a year or two before.

If anyone can track this down I would be very happy.
>> No. 5056 Anonymous
24th July 2013
Wednesday 10:46 pm
5056 spacer
>>5043
You're not conflating the case of Steven Neary with something else are you?
>> No. 5057 Anonymous
24th July 2013
Wednesday 10:50 pm
5057 spacer
>>5056

No. Steven Neary is white.
>> No. 5058 Anonymous
24th July 2013
Wednesday 10:59 pm
5058 spacer
What do people in human resources and marketing do all day? I can't see how it's actually a full-time job.
>> No. 5059 Anonymous
25th July 2013
Thursday 12:31 am
5059 spacer
>>5058
Checking Facebook and bitching about your upcoming wedding (they always seem to be getting fucking married) apparently takes up the hours between 9am and 5pm quite neatly.
>> No. 5090 Anonymous
7th August 2013
Wednesday 9:59 pm
5090 spacer
"I can't see a copy of the illustration on the file, have you saved a copy on the shared drive before you send it to the client that we can print out later or shall I make a copy of this one now?"

"YOU MUST MAKE A COPY OF IT. IT'S IMPORTANT THAT WE HAVE A COPY ON THE FILE. YOU MUST DO THIS EVERY TIME. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH."

"Thanks for talking down to me and explaining things that I already know like I'm an idiot when I'm just trying to cover your arse Alright."

I don't think I'd mind so much if she didn't only talk down to me about things I clearly already know.
>> No. 5092 Anonymous
8th August 2013
Thursday 2:08 am
5092 spacer
Customers in general, and the people who deal with them on behalf of myself.

"Hi can you do this thing for customer x please?"
"No, it's physically impossible/morally reprehensible/worth four times more than they're paying"
"Oh ok. Well they're really insisting on it, are you sure?"
"ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO RAM MY COCK IN YOUR EYE?"
>> No. 5093 Anonymous
8th August 2013
Thursday 6:21 pm
5093 spacer
The Admin Head at my office has explicitly said that she won't hire men on the admin team because she wants to have the office as female dominated as possible. Evidently it's more important to hire on their ability to natter about zumba/yogalates/boot camp, what they're making for tea (dinner for you Southern Jessie's) tonight, Embarrassing Bodies/One Born Every Minute, spreading gossip and sharing almost every aspect of their personal lives than their ability to do the job.

I reckon letting women take over HR and have control over who gets hired is why female graduates are less likely to be unemployed and earn more when they do find employment than their male counterparts.
>> No. 5094 Anonymous
8th August 2013
Thursday 6:40 pm
5094 spacer
>>5093
Can't you report her to someone at least? Maybe give an anonymous tip.

That's discrimination even if it is hip and trendy to discriminate against men.
>> No. 5095 Anonymous
8th August 2013
Thursday 9:27 pm
5095 spacer
>>5094
She'd find out it's me, it's not worth it.
>> No. 5096 Anonymous
8th August 2013
Thursday 9:40 pm
5096 spacer
>>5095

But you'd be a whistleblower like Bradley Manning and Edward Snowden. Wouldn't you like that? Hm? It's all the rage nowadays.
>> No. 5097 Anonymous
8th August 2013
Thursday 10:12 pm
5097 spacer
>>5096
I'd probably end up with them dipping tampons in my tea. I can't smash the matriachy.
>> No. 5098 Anonymous
8th August 2013
Thursday 10:28 pm
5098 spacer
>>5097

Whistleblowers don't drink tea. It's just one of the many things they have to sacrifice in order to save us all from the evil blah blah blah..
>> No. 5099 Anonymous
8th August 2013
Thursday 10:30 pm
5099 spacer
>>5095
I don't mean to other staff members but another group unrelated to your office.
>>5097
DNA EVIDENCE
>> No. 5100 Anonymous
9th August 2013
Friday 1:04 am
5100 spacer
>>5095
Yes it fucking well is. You see sex discrimination and you ignore it? You bloody woman.
>> No. 5133 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 5:44 am
5133 spacer
>>2427

Oh, come off it, being asked for recommendations is one of the most exciting times at work.

As an example... Last time a woman came in asking me about DVDs I successfully recommended and sold a pile of Nicholas Cage films.

Much merriment was had by all.
>> No. 5135 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 7:30 am
5135 spacer
>>5133
This best have included Con Air and Face/Off.
>> No. 5136 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 9:11 am
5136 spacer
>>5133
Cage films are alright for the most part. He's the absolute master of mental breakdowns, so even for those only most of his films are worth watching.
>> No. 5137 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 11:26 am
5137 spacer
>>5133
Cage is a fucking excelleng actor. He just accepts terrible roles so he has the cash to buy T-Rex fossils and shit.
>> No. 5138 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 11:37 am
5138 spacer
>>5137
Citation; http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/nic-cage-2009911?stop_mobi=yes
> His homes included three castles -- plus two islands in the Bahamas. Among his "dozen or so" mansions, one Bel Air home, purchased in 1998, features a billiard room with a 1955 Jaguar parked inside plus an array of "shrunken heads."
>> No. 5139 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 12:02 pm
5139 spacer
>>5138

Strange world.
>> No. 5140 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 12:51 pm
5140 spacer
>>2724
>>2716

The trouble with these people is that they floated into a high earner wage and in a position of authority over people whose jobs they've never really done or understood beyond a powerpoint presentation. On top of that they look at the workers as merely replaceable tools and make the mistake of assuming that because work is low paid it is not hard work or requires some concentration or brains too.

This is why it ends up such a disaster when they come floating in to "assist", or even worse, actually run the place at shop level. They'll take advantage of the temporary nature of their placement to put off everything they should have been doing for the bare minimum and then scuttle off leaving a mess. When they get back to HQ they will remain ignorant and continue to add new tasks and duties to the pile for managers and shop staff, without any increasing in staff or hours.

When that poor attitude sets in to the corprorate structure up top it is a rot that will get worse and worse as it spreads down (often via similar bullying and aggression down each rung) and it hits the company where it hurts in the end. Seen it before too many times.

There's probably a stone carved calendar somewhere, resembling something the Aztecs would have dreamed, except detailling the ends of each of these cycles of madness for companies.
>> No. 5141 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 12:53 pm
5141 spacer
>>5140

I'll add I'm getting to watch some mates go through the same thing at their jobs. Must be the economic or political climate is causing the bastards to spread out and take root with their poison in new locations in recent years. It is amazing how one person can make so many so miserable and do so for years on end unfettered.
>> No. 5142 Anonymous
12th August 2013
Monday 1:53 pm
5142 spacer
Cage has one special ability and that seems to be to go nuts. The best roles I've seen in him he is just going nuts. He's like Keanu Reeves most the time with a wooden and distant feeling otherwise.

A good director or writer would use him perfectly of course. Remember his AMAZING vampire film? Perfect use of him.
>> No. 5180 Anonymous
17th August 2013
Saturday 9:22 pm
5180 spacer
Oh hey, here's someone whose not your friend, but you know their name and work in the same office

>alright
>alright?
>yeah i'm good

every fucking time?
>> No. 5186 Anonymous
23rd August 2013
Friday 11:13 am
5186 spacer
Completely my own fault, but I've just spent 40 minutes on a spreadsheet and then closed it without saving.
>> No. 5187 Anonymous
23rd August 2013
Friday 12:13 pm
5187 spacer
>>5186
http://superuser.com/questions/22564/recovering-excel-documents-that-were-closed-without-saving
>> No. 5191 Anonymous
23rd August 2013
Friday 8:51 pm
5191 spacer
I work in a hotel as a housekeeper

We don't get keys to any rooms because we're not trusted, the head housekeeper goes around to every room that has checked out and opens the door then jams the bin in the door to keep it open.

When you use the hot drink services provided in the room they aren't cleaned properly, I'm told to rinse them out in the rooms sink and then leave them for the next guests that check in.

I wouldn't advise anyone to stay in a budget hotel.
>> No. 5193 Anonymous
23rd August 2013
Friday 10:59 pm
5193 spacer
>>5191
Is your name Louis by any chance...?
>> No. 5195 Anonymous
23rd August 2013
Friday 11:47 pm
5195 spacer
>>5191
Ever found anything particularly horrible / inexplicable in a room?
>> No. 5196 Anonymous
24th August 2013
Saturday 12:12 am
5196 spacer
>>5195
ur mum
>> No. 5245 Anonymous
5th September 2013
Thursday 6:54 pm
5245 spacer
One of the women I work with double clicks every time. I know she's had it pointed out on more than one occasion that sometimes she only needs to click once but it hasn't stopped her.
>> No. 5284 Anonymous
18th September 2013
Wednesday 10:56 pm
5284 spacer
People who take their grievances home with them (I'm fully aware of where I'm posting this), namely my future mother-in-law.

Whenever my girlfriend speaks to her mum on a weekday she usually has to endure a 20/30 minute diatribe about so-and-so skiving and not doing what he was told or that wossherface has it in for her. It's quite alarming that the local day care services my council provides for adults with learning disabilities seems to be run by people less mature than the service users who spend all day engaged in petty squabbling and one-upmanship.

I don't see the appeal in regularly talking about work when you're outside of work, unless you're the type of person who needs to vent regularly or you actually have nothing of note going on in your life apart from your job.
>> No. 5285 Anonymous
18th September 2013
Wednesday 11:27 pm
5285 spacer
>>5284

Aye. If your work is so awful and your private life so empty that you have nothing better to talk about, just fucking kill yourself.
>> No. 5397 Anonymous
3rd October 2013
Thursday 12:34 pm
5397 spacer
Not really an annoyance, but why do some women feel the need to announce when they are going for a wee?
>> No. 5398 Anonymous
3rd October 2013
Thursday 1:06 pm
5398 spacer
>>5397
You don't mean if they leave you mid-conversation or mid-group task? You mean they are working quietly at their desk, and then stand up and broadcast it to the whole room?
>> No. 5399 Anonymous
3rd October 2013
Thursday 1:06 pm
5399 spacer
>>5397
They do that? I know some blokes who do that in the middle of conversation, but never heard of women doing that.
>> No. 5400 Anonymous
3rd October 2013
Thursday 1:12 pm
5400 spacer
>>5399
well uh what else are you supposed to do if you're chatting to people and need to go? Lie?
>> No. 5401 Anonymous
3rd October 2013
Thursday 1:42 pm
5401 spacer
>>5398
Yes.
>> No. 5402 Anonymous
3rd October 2013
Thursday 1:49 pm
5402 spacer
>>5400
You can just say 'sorry, lads, I'll be right back'. You don't have to say things like 'I'm off to give birth to a brown baby'.
>> No. 5404 Anonymous
3rd October 2013
Thursday 10:24 pm
5404 spacer
>>5400
The proper male response is 'just off for a slash' and then you swagger out of the room.
>> No. 5405 Anonymous
3rd October 2013
Thursday 11:16 pm
5405 spacer
>>5404

If you're a dick, that is.
>> No. 5406 Anonymous
4th October 2013
Friday 12:36 am
5406 spacer
>>5404
How about "gotta take a squirt lads", I'm always partial to that one.

Although my favourite for use on classy dates has got to be "Will you please excuse me my dear, I need to go shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, with whom I hope you will meet later." yes I have no idea how to correctly use whom, state school education innit
>> No. 5408 Anonymous
4th October 2013
Friday 3:06 am
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>>5405
It's better to be a dick than a swallower.
>> No. 5409 Anonymous
4th October 2013
Friday 4:09 pm
5409 spacer
>>5406

That usage seemed fine to be honest, but you need to learn what a semicolon is.
>> No. 5423 Anonymous
7th October 2013
Monday 5:23 pm
5423 spacer
>>5406
Spot on whoming, don't worry. The preposition 'with' denotes the dative case, for which whom is the proper Modern English declension.
>> No. 5475 Anonymous
25th October 2013
Friday 10:56 pm
5475 spacer
They're on about Secret Santa at work already. Bollocks to that.
>> No. 5476 Anonymous
25th October 2013
Friday 11:15 pm
5476 spacer
>>5475
Regarding Christmas, the music hasn't begun yet. Thank christ there's no secret santa at mine. There's usually a little low profile party which is basically crisps and alcohol on a table and you spend about an hour or two there for Christmas.
>> No. 5477 Anonymous
25th October 2013
Friday 11:35 pm
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61J0VyomOVL._SX385_.jpg
547754775477
>>5476
We're going to a casino this year, which is a vast improvement on the past 2 years.

I'm still miffed about last year's Secret Santa. I put a fair amount of thought and effort into my gift and what did I receive back? This.
>> No. 5478 Anonymous
28th October 2013
Monday 3:12 pm
5478 spacer
At about 16 I managed to get a job as floor staff at a opening nightclub in town. At £6 an hour I was beyond chuffed as most of my mates were on like £4. It started off relatively ok. General duties included glass collecting, bar backing, greeting customers, table service, checking the VIP rooms... then she arrived.

I've never wanted to kill anyone more than this fucking lesbian South African self-righteous woman. Basically the nightclub wasn't making enough cash, so she cut the floor staff down from 5 to 1. TO FUCKING 1. 1 PERSON TO DO EVERYTHING APART FROM THE BAR IN A FUCKING NIGHTCLUB. Understandably, this slows shit down a lot. I cannot move faster than a glass washer. I cannot serve a VIP table while i'm cleaning up a glass breakage. She once asked me to take the chewing gum out my mouth as i'm chewing "aggressively" and may upset customers.

I'm not commenting on favouritism here but when she became manager the staff dwindled down to me being the only in-club male and everyone else being young good looking girls whom she would invite out... Realistically I think the only reason I kept my job is because I was good friends with the owner and she hated it. I actually got promoted briefly before I left to the HEAD OF PROMOTIONS TEAM which meant I had to lead a group of people around town saying COME TO OUR CLUB. It was painful. One of the girls once told me she "remembers being born" and told me I was discriminating for saying she didn't.

Reading this back this was hugely incoherent and disjointed, forgot how much I hated that job. Fortunately I love my job now.

If you're ever in the East-Mids, do not go to said nightclub. Also please be nice to glass collectors in clubs, they have a shit time.
>> No. 5479 Anonymous
28th October 2013
Monday 3:20 pm
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>>5478
>One of the girls once told me she "remembers being born" and told me I was discriminating for saying she didn't.

I don't know why that created audible mirth but it did. What arseholes the world is full of.
>> No. 5480 Anonymous
28th October 2013
Monday 3:31 pm
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We have a corporate Christmas event every year. It usually takes place around Febuary, because until then there's no way we can get anything to accomodate nearly two thousand people from all our branches. It's still always pretty crammed and Ukrainians drink all the cognac they can find faster than you can even get to it. The last time we also had those horrible Freddy Mercury and Johnny Depp impersonators to greet guests and an 'anime photo booth'.

Sage for not really staying on topic.
>> No. 5481 Anonymous
28th October 2013
Monday 3:57 pm
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>>5478
Yeah ok mate I'll make sure to avoid that nightclub you haven't told me the name of.
>> No. 5482 Anonymous
28th October 2013
Monday 4:03 pm
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>>5481

You'll know it when you walk in.
>> No. 5483 Anonymous
28th October 2013
Monday 4:36 pm
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>>5478
>One of the girls once told me she "remembers being born" and told me I was discriminating for saying she didn't.
This is fucking hilarious.
>> No. 5484 Anonymous
29th October 2013
Tuesday 8:27 am
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Women who make a big deal about not using a computer at home because they're fed up of seeing them after spending most of the day in front of a computer screen (usually throwing in an implication that using a computer in your spare time is for saddos) but instead they veg out and watch the likes of Waterloo Road and Eastenders because they want escapism where they won't have to engage their brains.
>> No. 5485 Anonymous
29th October 2013
Tuesday 8:31 am
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>>5484
They also tweet from their phones and play shitty three in a row games on them.
>> No. 5486 Anonymous
29th October 2013
Tuesday 8:32 am
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>>5485
m8, it's all about Candy Crush these days.
>> No. 5524 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 7:32 am
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>>4005 here again.

She was on her phone yesterday, almost shouting so everyone could hear, about PARTYING and how HER EX DARREN WAS MEANT TO HAVE THE KIDS LAST WEEKEND, BUT HE WENT AWAY INSTEAD AND NOW HE'S TRYING TO SEE THEM ON A DIFFERENT DAY BUT IT'S TOUGH SHIT BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHEN HE'S MEANT TO HAVE 'EM. Oh, Darren.
>> No. 5525 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 11:56 am
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>>5524
Out of interest lad, whereabouts do you work?
>> No. 5526 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 11:30 am
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>>5480
Oh god the memories.

At one firm I've worked for (IT reseller), one of our main suppliers would take the department out for an all-expenses binge night. Drinks, meal somewhere nice, and a nightclub. Sounds great, yeah? Except for our staff, who mostly consisted of morbidly obese passive-aggressive women, mostly mothers who get a night out once a month to the local gastro-pub with their shaven-headed Frontera driving Engerlund tattooed menfolk.

Result: Carnage. Pissed up and shrieking by 8:30pm; the meal (such as a top-end Chinese banquet) left largely untouched, as they ordered the most expensive wines on the list (none of which they could appreciate, even if they had been sober.) At least one would have a total meltdown in the bogs by this stage, and several others would decide to get their saggy tits out.

Just one of these nights could engender a deep understanding of Conrad's Kurtz - not just "The horror!" but more pertinently: "Exterminate the brutes."
>> No. 5527 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 11:38 am
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>>5526
I think that kind of behaviour is common among UK women regardless of background and age. In my experience, anyway.
>> No. 5528 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 1:11 pm
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>>5526
>At least one would have a total meltdown in the bogs by this stage

A very amusing summary of most company nights out - this point particularly well observed. Why is there always one (woman) who does this?
>> No. 5529 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 1:36 pm
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>>5526

I remember a lad here (who I think might have worked as bar staff?) describing hen nights that would follow a roughly similar pattern. Their post said something like "they laugh hard and loud because God knows if they didn't, they would cry."

It's stuck with me since.

https://www.youtube.com/v/7TvpfLj74Ak
>> No. 5530 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 1:40 pm
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>>5528
Aside from making people generally less emotionally stable, alcohol also grants people the mental freedom to assess their life in a frank manner - to think and talk about all the things that'd normally be swept under the rug. If upon getting drunk I realised that I was a chronically bored, morbidly obese middle-aged woman stuck in a dead-end job and a lifeless marriage I'd probably have a fucking teary too.

I also notice that the craziest women in the office politics stakes always seem to be on those ridiculous diets where they have something like a handful of grapes and a black coffee for lunch. I'm not sure if it's the lack of food that makes them crazy, or if you need to be a bit unhinged to go in for that sort of thing in the first place, but either way, when those ones get drunk at the Christmas do, approach with caution.
>> No. 5531 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 2:08 pm
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>>5530
The thing is that people have that mental freedom already - it's really only to Brits, in my opinion, who act so fucking insufferably when pissed. Another lad, who like me has lived abroad in Europe, has also remarked that perhaps the apparent British 'repression' is a factor in our shitty behaviour when drunk.
>> No. 5532 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 2:29 pm
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>>5531
My experience is that British people just drink more, and more quickly. I'm not sure it's anything more complicated than that.
>> No. 5533 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 3:56 pm
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>>5531
I think this is correct to some extent. The reason behind this repressed behaviour I'm less sure of, is it just a remanent of the old 'stiff upper lip' thing or something more modern?
>> No. 5534 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 4:17 pm
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>>5533
I find any public emotional display unseemly unless it's from a child. Wouldn't dream of crying in public.

Amusingly timed observations here, my lass just had a work do and lo and behold, a girl got absolutely trashed and winded up crying and puking her guts out in the bogs.
>> No. 5535 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 4:28 pm
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>>5530
>If upon getting drunk I realised that I was a chronically bored, morbidly obese middle-aged woman stuck in a dead-end job and a lifeless marriage I'd probably have a fucking teary too.

I'd be really scared and confused then maybe have a look for Rod Serling.
>> No. 5536 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 6:58 pm
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>>5534
Does this extend to couples kissing in public, do you find that 'unseemly'? I'm in two minds; as a mate of mine pointed out it can seem like they're trying to 'prove' something and it makes me a little uneasy. On the other hand, I'm not sure if it's just pointless jealousy and/or repressing of feelings that causes this uneasiness. I guess it depends a lot on context.
>> No. 5537 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 7:06 pm
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>>5530
This is all true, however maybe a simpler explanation is just that alcohol is a depressant? If you're highly extroverted and attention seeking you are less likely to have your own coping mechanisms for feeling depressed and therefore more likely to rely on the attention of others to make you feel better.
>> No. 5538 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 7:27 pm
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>>5537
A 'depressant' is not just 'a drug wot makes you depressed', mate. That's a very big oversimplification you're thinking of in my opinion.
>> No. 5539 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 7:31 pm
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>>5536
I don't care about people kissing in public, it fucks me off when friends their gfs or whatever and such do it around me when we're in conversation or watching something together or something like that.
>> No. 5540 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 7:49 pm
5540 spacer
>>5539
That's fair enough.

>>5538
Well maybe I'm just thinking of my own experiences but after the initial euphoria alcohol always makes me feel down if there isn't something interesting going on to distract me. However I'm the sort of person that will just be quiet and not do much when this happens, as opposed to some people whom I'd imagine would need attention to counteract this.
>> No. 5592 Anonymous
29th November 2013
Friday 10:08 pm
5592 spacer
>>5245 here again.

Something I was working on today crashed. It turned out to be because of connectivity issues, but because I click/scroll too fast to her liking she tried to blame it on that and made a big deal out of it. Christ, it's like when I was a teenlad and my mum would ask me to do something on the computer for her. Except I'm stuck in an office with this woman for 35-40 hours a week while we're on computers for most of the time.
>> No. 5593 Anonymous
29th November 2013
Friday 10:16 pm
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>>5592
Is she retarded?
>> No. 5594 Anonymous
29th November 2013
Friday 10:19 pm
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>>5593
She's a middle-aged woman. It tends to be the norm, in my experience.

Knowing something as basic as Alt + Tab to switch between windows is seen as witchcraft/being a complete computer nerd and will be met with the scorn mentioned in >>5484. COMPUTERS JUST DON'T LIKE ME.
>> No. 5595 Anonymous
29th November 2013
Friday 10:25 pm
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>>5594
>Alt + Tab
This brings on a /101/ moment for me. We've got some silly thin client/virtual desktop thing doing on at work. I might have around 20 windows open, and Alt+Tab gets me "desktop" or "session". It's really fucking hard to unlearn a reflex like that.
>> No. 5596 Anonymous
29th November 2013
Friday 11:14 pm
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>>5595
Whenever I use awesomewm, I get this too.
>> No. 5597 Anonymous
30th November 2013
Saturday 12:42 am
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combine.jpg
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>>5594>>5595
This isn't anything to do with /job/ but I hate how my college won't allow me to use task manager or even mess around with the taskbar properties due to the nannyware they've got on there. Pic related is what I hate the most. I prefer to have my tasksbar buttons uncombined even though I usually use alt-tab to get what I want.
>> No. 5598 Anonymous
30th November 2013
Saturday 1:41 am
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>>5594
>Knowing something as basic as Alt + Tab to switch between windows is seen as witchcraft/being a complete computer nerd
The account in my office knows me as the "techy guy" because I showed her that hovering over the time in the taskbar will show her today's date. That's it.
>> No. 5599 Anonymous
30th November 2013
Saturday 8:15 am
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>>5598
I like to press F11 when they're not looking. There's been a few frantic calls to our IT department over the years from that one.
>> No. 5603 Anonymous
3rd December 2013
Tuesday 9:30 pm
5603 spacer
Quite petty, but we have to print out a fair number of e-mails at work and so many pieces of paper are wasted by people not using print preview and ending up with one page that they actually need and a second that is usually the last line or so of an e-mail signature, which will just be chucked in the bin. Boils my piss.
>> No. 5604 Anonymous
3rd December 2013
Tuesday 9:32 pm
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>>5603

What if they left it on your desk instead for you to use to scribble on?
>> No. 5605 Anonymous
4th December 2013
Wednesday 1:03 am
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>>1795
This image looks awfully familiar. Does anyone know if happens to be the office of a now (thankfully) deceased web design company run by a twat called Rob and a cunt called Neil somewhere in central Lancashire?
>> No. 5637 Anonymous
4th December 2013
Wednesday 4:56 pm
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>>5605

The irony here is you are probably OP and made this thread while strung out on cheap cider and pigs in blankets.

The OP reeks of pork sweats.
>> No. 5639 Anonymous
4th December 2013
Wednesday 5:01 pm
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>>5637

Really? I smell hammers.
>> No. 5641 Anonymous
4th December 2013
Wednesday 5:39 pm
5641 spacer
>>5639

I find the smell of hammers quite pleasant.
>> No. 5754 Anonymous
12th December 2013
Thursday 6:39 pm
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They're on about introducing wizards for the software we use and champions for the processes we have to do. NEED SOME HELP WITH EXCEL? ASK YOUR NOMINATED OFFICE WIZARD.

Christ.
>> No. 5755 Anonymous
12th December 2013
Thursday 6:45 pm
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>>5754
Fuck's sake. What's wrong with gurus?
>> No. 5756 Anonymous
12th December 2013
Thursday 6:51 pm
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>>5754
This just shows how this country moves farther and farther away from its Christian roots. We used to call people like that evangelists.
>> No. 5757 Anonymous
12th December 2013
Thursday 7:18 pm
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>>5756
I suspect it's less to do with religion and more to do with the sort of dribblers who work in such places being unable to spell hard words like "evangelist".
>> No. 5759 Anonymous
14th December 2013
Saturday 7:50 am
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Not workplace per se, but people (alright, women) where 80% of their Facebook posts are along the lines of "just two more days then three days off work!" Is annual leave so special that you need to declare when you're taking it?
>> No. 5760 Anonymous
14th December 2013
Saturday 8:29 am
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>>5180
For the past 3 months I've been having the same conversation with someone working for another company in the same building when we meet in the corridor:-

>Alright?
>Yeah, you?
>Monday morning/Friday, innit?

I think yesterday was the first time we had something resembling an actual discussion, even if it was just about Christmas parties.
>> No. 5768 Anonymous
19th December 2013
Thursday 2:14 pm
5768 spacer
Christmas party soon.

The women have been left to their own devices; when I came back they'd already started on the wine and were talking about angora wool, Lee Rigby,Baby P and paedos. It's all gonna end in tears. I've snuck in the bogs for a poo. The calm before the storm.
>> No. 5769 Anonymous
19th December 2013
Thursday 5:15 pm
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>>5768

Sounds like a legend of a party. Lucky you.

Try to at least get someone to hook up. Nothing better than seeing the walk of shame out of the bogs or the stationary cupboard.
>> No. 5770 Anonymous
19th December 2013
Thursday 5:53 pm
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>>5769
SAME RULES APPLY, RIGHT LADMATE?
>> No. 5776 Anonymous
21st December 2013
Saturday 3:45 pm
5776 spacer
>>5768
So what happened lad?
>> No. 5779 Anonymous
23rd December 2013
Monday 5:31 am
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>>5776
Nothing of note, really. Although it was quite a fun night; most of the conversations were pure filth.
>> No. 5787 Anonymous
25th December 2013
Wednesday 7:20 am
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Opened my Secret Santa last night, £10 Amazon voucher. Quite pleased with that.
>> No. 5799 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 10:23 am
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I have fuck all to do until I finish at 5. I only had a handful of things to do yesterday and it was a task making them stretch out all morning. I hate working this time off year.
>> No. 5800 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 10:24 am
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>>5799
>time off year.

Whoops. The brain rot is setting in.
>> No. 5801 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 10:30 am
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>>5799
I'm at work and not so busy. The office is completely empty, I think the cafe staff are here to serve only me.
>> No. 5802 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 10:57 am
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>>5801

Do they stare at you while you eat? That would freak me out.
>> No. 5803 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 11:00 am
5803 spacer
>>5802
No. I'd wonder why if they were, they're almost certainly being paid more than me. Such is life as a student.
>> No. 5804 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 11:04 am
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>>5803

>I'd wonder why if they were

Maybe it's your weird looking head?
>> No. 5805 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 11:07 am
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>>5804
Look who's talking.
>> No. 5806 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 11:10 am
5806 spacer

crap.jpg
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>>5805

Never seen it.
>> No. 5807 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 12:36 pm
5807 spacer
>>5806
Keep it that way. You're better off with Baby's Day Out.
>> No. 5808 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 5:17 pm
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>>5799
In that situation I'd have just gone home, especially on NYE.
>> No. 5809 Anonymous
31st December 2013
Tuesday 6:33 pm
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>>5808
I'd have been alright if it was just me on my own. We ended up leaving early at half 3. I only received two emails all day, both internal and one was sent to everyone, and the phone didn't ring once.
>> No. 5810 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 3:59 am
5810 spacer
>Working part time for Home Office doing Immigration Casework, shit pays well
>Over 9000 racist fucks refusing anyone because they're not white
>Be issuing / refusing based on evidence provided, chief caseworker says I am accepting too many and to be more suspicious of african applications
>Dat privaliged racism

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 5811 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 4:04 am
5811 spacer
>>5810
Lad.
>> No. 5812 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 4:17 am
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>>5810
>and to be more suspicious of african applications
That's not racist. It's to do with both a demonstrably higher incidence of fraud and the generally poor state of governance. In general, former British colonies have better state apparatus than others, but it's still possible that they have undocumented citizens, or documented individuals that don't exist.

Of course, the place you really want to be careful of is India, which is possibly the only country in the world to have societies for people who are legally dead.
>> No. 5813 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 4:25 am
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>>5812
To be fair, you are correct, the applicants from Ghana / Nigeria are receiving an almost ~%70 rejection rate at the moment. But I thought it was relatively racist to put a stigma on their skin colour or origin when the reason they're mainly being refused is because of their marriage laws (proxy marriages, usually.) Rather than forgeries or false evidence / overstaying too long.

To be fair from India, the applicants I have processed have always been extremely polite and honest, have only ever refused say 3 or so in comparison to >500 Ghanaians / Nigerian nationals.

It just grinds my gears when other caseworkers give extra scrutiny and checks to people based on skin colour. When high flying bankers or professional footballers apply, we get a call from "above" and generally issue without looking at the evidence even.
>> No. 5814 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 6:56 am
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>>5813

>When high flying bankers or professional footballers apply, we get a call from "above" and generally issue without looking at the evidence even.

And?

You can buy legal citizenship in the UK anyway if you have the cash. I'd expect such phone calls to allow the Russian millionaires in or whomever else is wanting to come in with similar sums of money.
>> No. 5815 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 8:27 am
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>>5814

Err...I do not really know what to say.
>> No. 5816 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 11:19 am
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>>5815
Immigration isn't for the benefit of immigrants, despite what UKIP believe.
>> No. 5817 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 12:16 pm
5817 spacer
/pol/, lads.
>> No. 5818 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 12:33 pm
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>>5817
It's not /pol/, it's just facts. The guy who works in immigration here weirdly seems to think he's there to better the lives of foreigners, when in reality he's there to manage the inflow of labour with respect to his controlling organisation.
>> No. 5819 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 1:05 pm
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>>5818

/pol/
>> No. 5820 Anonymous
1st January 2014
Wednesday 1:19 pm
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>>5819
fine.
>> No. 5837 Anonymous
20th January 2014
Monday 8:55 pm
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"Electricians" as opposed to actual electricians. "I want a cable, a strong one", "I want a plug, a strong one", "I'm wiring up a 2.5kW heater, can't you just give me 0.5mm two core"? I mean fucking hell, the saying "The Brits like to burn down their houses with gas fires, not electric ones" used to mean something. I'm not a sparky (let that sink in) but the amount of times I've had to serve people who clearly had less clue than me… (2.5mm 6242Y to make up a trailing socket? Clearly a good idea over 2.5mm 3183Y because the former is "more strong"). It's quite a regional complaint, but blimey…

Sorry sparky lad, I'm sure you deal with this every day.
>> No. 5838 Anonymous
23rd January 2014
Thursday 8:17 pm
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People who leave things for other people to sort. It's only little things - like taking a fax off the machine, noticing it's used the last of the paper and not topping it up or taking the last of something from the stationery cupboard, leaving the empty box inside and not telling anyone we need to order some more shite - but it's the office equivalent of not replacing an empty toilet roll tube.
>> No. 5839 Anonymous
24th January 2014
Friday 6:31 pm
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There's signs in the bogs at work along the lines of 'Gents, please leave these toilets in the state you'd like to find them.' Someone has left their arse explosion (it's hard to class it as a shit, it was an absolute mess. They must have some form of defective bowel) unflushed in the loo, closed both lids, taken the sign off the wall and left it on top. There's also someone who keeps deliberately pissing under one of the urinals, it has been confirmed it isn't a leak. Fucking animals.
>> No. 5840 Anonymous
24th January 2014
Friday 9:03 pm
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>>5839
A mate of mine told me he recently got an email from Facilities along these lines:
>The building manager has today locked all the disabled loos in the building. This is due to vandalism and the presence of illegal drugs. For the record, it wasn't the one on our floor.
>> No. 5841 Anonymous
25th January 2014
Saturday 11:04 pm
5841 spacer
>>5837

I work at Maplin and I regularly serve apparent electricians who have no fucking clue what they're on about.

Some guy earlier today was asking me if he could "get rid of the wattage and the resistance but still have the voltage and the amps". Or something. It was hard for me to wrap my head around the concept he was trying to explain, but it happens almost every day. Some nutter will arrive in a van, decked out in a company sweater and those grey trousers with the padded knees and toolbelt, and come in to the shop to proceed to ask us the basics of what a resistor/capacitor/whatever is and does, usually having to get us to do the relevant maths for them to work out which they need.

It shouldn't piss me off as much as it does but the fact is these people are getting paid, presumably, more than me (and I get minimum wage so chances are) for skills that they seem to mostly, if not wholly, lack. What does an electrician actually know about that my common sense and background of GCSE physics and DT hasn't already given me? What does that fancy certificate they have to have actually prove?
>> No. 5843 Anonymous
26th January 2014
Sunday 7:25 am
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Someone keeps putting the bog roll in our loos the wrong way around, so the flap of the roll is facing the wall. I make a point to turn them all around the right way but they keep fucking doing it.

Psychopaths.
>> No. 5844 Anonymous
26th January 2014
Sunday 7:26 am
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>>5843

Also someone had smashed a bottle of tabasco into one of the toilet bowls. I want to bring it up with people, but it can't be entirely sure it wasn't me when I was pissed.
>> No. 5845 Anonymous
26th January 2014
Sunday 11:29 am
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>>5841
They been trained to follow a plan and set of rules by rote, without questioning or deviating from the rules.
A mate of mine was an electrical engineer, degree educated, worked designing large-scale circuit installations. Got bored of the desk job, so trained as an electrician, working for himself. He said fellow trainees often didn't actually understand electricity, and know what current, resistance, potential difference etc. actually mean in physical terms. They just know which bit goes where and how to connect it all, in a very prescriptive way.
>> No. 5846 Anonymous
26th January 2014
Sunday 3:16 pm
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>>5841
>wattage

Eurgh I think the term he's looking for is 'power'. That's like talking about 'metre-age'.

If someone really knows that little about basic DC circuit theory, how are they meant to have a chance at understanding AC circuits and complex impedance?
>> No. 5847 Anonymous
26th January 2014
Sunday 3:19 pm
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Jeremy-Clarkson-007[1].jpg
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>>5846
Get rid of the power?
>> No. 5848 Anonymous
29th January 2014
Wednesday 12:20 pm
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There's a new receptionist at work (middle aged, overweight, loud, thinks it's acceptable to get a 4 year old an iPad because "you've got to spoil them at Christmas") and she keeps trying to be funny but we're not on the same wavelength/I'm boring/I don't want to play along. For example, our department went out for a fancy meal the other night and she boomed at me "can I come? YOU THINK I'M JOKING, DON'T YOU?" but it wears thin when it happens several times a day, usually with her pointing out she's joking.
>> No. 5849 Anonymous
29th January 2014
Wednesday 12:51 pm
5849 spacer
>>5848
>Can I come?
>I don't know, how's your technique?
>> No. 5850 Anonymous
29th January 2014
Wednesday 3:33 pm
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>>5848

Sorry but we don't have 2 seats free.
>> No. 5851 Anonymous
29th January 2014
Wednesday 3:39 pm
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>>5850

Actually that's just rude. I appreciate how 5848 might not be a huge fan of their new receptionist but it doesn't sound like she's a bad person.

Having worked with some really nasty individuals who treat others badly for no good reason at all, I'd take someone who's heart seems to be in the right place but just fails at what they're trying to project than the former any day of the week.

Appreciate that you posted to vent and I can completely understand you annoyances, keep in mind though, it could always be a lot worse. A lot.
>> No. 5852 Anonymous
29th January 2014
Wednesday 3:50 pm
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>>5851
>Actually that's just rude.
>> No. 5853 Anonymous
29th January 2014
Wednesday 4:27 pm
5853 spacer
>>5850
>>5851

Same person 5852.
>> No. 5948 Anonymous
27th February 2014
Thursday 7:58 am
5948 spacer
>>2976>>2981
The Christmas after my girlfriend's grandma died her estranged dad decided it would be a good idea to send her and her siblings Christmas cards from beyond the grave - they had a picture of her on the front and a message inside warning them not to forget about her. I can't remember the specific wording but it was really, really odd. I wouldn't say they ruined Christmas, but they did not go down well.
>> No. 5949 Anonymous
1st March 2014
Saturday 6:26 pm
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Derek-Acorah-looking-spoo-001.jpg
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>>5948

Hmmmmm.... I sense a business opportunity.
>> No. 5950 Anonymous
2nd March 2014
Sunday 6:11 pm
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>>5948

That's the funniest thing I've read in a while.
>> No. 5973 Anonymous
6th March 2014
Thursday 2:11 pm
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I now work in one of those business parks full of two storey square buildings. The layout means that the stairs, kitchen and bogs are in the centre, with a meeting room taking up one of the sides and the rest of us in an open plan horse shoe. I do not enjoy shitting in this building. I am paranoid they can hear me as we're only separated by a wall. I used to spend over an hour a week at my old job shitting and on my phone when I should be working. It's really getting me down.
>> No. 5998 Anonymous
14th March 2014
Friday 3:42 pm
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Our marketing department have sent out a snotty email to say that we must use their specific out of office wording or our branding will be harmed. It's bad enough that most of what they come up with is grammatically incorrect and then sent to our clients/potential ones, I'm talking not even knowing the difference between its and it's - I think the record is 6 basic and glaring errors on an A5 flyer, but they really will do any shite to justify their existence.
>> No. 5999 Anonymous
14th March 2014
Friday 4:05 pm
5999 spacer
>>5998
Point this out to your superior, gain points.
>> No. 6000 Anonymous
14th March 2014
Friday 4:43 pm
6000 spacer
>>5999
He hates them more than I do, but the marketing women are based in head office and are meant to have some of the directors wrapped around their little fingers.
>> No. 6009 Anonymous
24th March 2014
Monday 3:37 pm
6009 spacer
The ladies in the office are excited because last Friday of the month = dress down day, which means they'll be wearing what they do for the rest of the month (i.e. almost whatever they want) but with JEANS.
>> No. 6010 Anonymous
24th March 2014
Monday 6:43 pm
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>>6009
I'd hate to work in a place like that. For me, every day is a dress down day.
>> No. 6011 Anonymous
24th March 2014
Monday 6:52 pm
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>>6010
Every day is dress down day if you're female.
>> No. 6013 Anonymous
24th March 2014
Monday 7:55 pm
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>>6011

This is only tangentially related to this topic, but I want to say it somewhere, anyway. There's someone at my university who I know was born as a male but now wears dresses and handbags. I haven't spoken to them for a long time, so I'm not sure if it's to do with their sexuality or not, but I do quite admire them for wearing what they're comfortable in.
>> No. 6014 Anonymous
24th March 2014
Monday 9:25 pm
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>>6013
There is this individual in my building that was clearly once a man - and not too long ago. To crudely describe; picture a clean shaven fat man with massive double D's, long black hair (dyed with cheap dye), and clear masculine features.

She seems like a nice person, and I accept who she is - but I can't help to think of all the bullshit she must put up with on a daily basis.

☑ Privilege
>> No. 6020 Anonymous
25th March 2014
Tuesday 12:30 am
6020 spacer
>>6013

Maybe they want to transition and the NHS is making them "live as a girl" for a year. I read about one going to the doctor wearing jeans (like many girls do obviously) and the doctor said he wasn't making enough of an effort.
>> No. 6021 Anonymous
25th March 2014
Tuesday 12:32 am
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>>6014

My next door neighbour is trans. It's not incredibly obvious. She's like a slightly androgynous Paul O'Grady type. She still gets her mail and prescriptions for her male name though. I don't know why.
>> No. 6022 Anonymous
25th March 2014
Tuesday 1:17 am
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>>6021

She's MTF if that's not obvious. She wears jeans and fleeces like a lot of women do around here (Salford). She doesn't really wear make-up but has longish hair and must have taken enough hormones to develop about A-cup breasts. The name she goes by is a female name but when I've taken parcels when she's out, they're in a male name and I'm sure there's no way she lives with a guy I've never seen in the four years I've lived here.
>> No. 6024 Anonymous
25th March 2014
Tuesday 6:11 am
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>>6022

>I'm sure there's no way she lives with a guy I've never seen in the four years I've lived here.

HELP ME! I HAVE A FAMILY TO GET BACK TO!
>> No. 6025 Anonymous
25th March 2014
Tuesday 7:09 am
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>>6022
>fleeces like a lot of women do around here

Do these fleeces have wolves, horses or dogs on?
>> No. 6027 Anonymous
27th March 2014
Thursday 8:50 pm
6027 spacer
>>2521
>Everyone getting excited if they were bringing in a buffet for some pointless meeting full off bullshit management doublespeak, flow charts and stupid acronyms purely because of the chance of a free sausage roll or whatever.

I think this has happened at every single office I've worked in. Usually from women who usually mention on a daily basis whether they've been good/bad food-wise, but if anyone from the office actually brings cake/biscuits in they won't touch them because they're watching their figures. It's alright for them to snaffle 4 plates of quiche from the conference room, mind.
>> No. 6028 Anonymous
27th March 2014
Thursday 8:51 pm
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>>6027
>Usually from women who usually

I really need to get out of the habit of repeating words in the same/every other sentence.
>> No. 6029 Anonymous
27th March 2014
Thursday 9:06 pm
6029 spacer
>>6028
I thought it was only me who did this. Once a word gets into my mind-RAM it has a habit of staying there without welcome and being reused without sans thinking.
>> No. 6030 Anonymous
28th March 2014
Friday 3:18 pm
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>>6029
Yeah, like when you're writing a report or something and the same phrase keeps coming to mind and you can't get away from it.
>> No. 6037 Anonymous
22nd April 2014
Tuesday 7:44 am
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This. This would drive me up the wall.

>>/101/13907
>She comes home everyday from work and tells me a story about how incompetent other stores are.
>> No. 6038 Anonymous
22nd April 2014
Tuesday 2:23 pm
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I've never worked in an office. What kind of reply do you think I'd get if I asked "What does 'squaring the circle' actually mean?"
>> No. 6039 Anonymous
22nd April 2014
Tuesday 3:43 pm
6039 spacer
>>6038
That you can tumble try whatever is being spoken about.
>> No. 6040 Anonymous
22nd April 2014
Tuesday 3:50 pm
6040 spacer
>>6038

Come on lad. It's not hard.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squaring_the_circle
>> No. 6063 Anonymous
7th May 2014
Wednesday 4:14 pm
6063 spacer
Every letter and e-mail that comes in or goes out has to be attached to our 'document management system'. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if people actually bothered to name each document they attach so that it'd be easy to retrieve something specific quickly. As it is, I have to open about seven or eight documents in some instances because they all have the same name (whatever the activity entry is titled) and there's no guarantee I'll even find what I'm after.
>> No. 6084 Anonymous
19th May 2014
Monday 2:02 pm
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After days of having builders noisily installing a new air con system, the past two months or so has seen daily arguments on whether the temperature is too hot or too cold. I wish we could just go back to radiators, opening the window and desk fans. I really do.
>> No. 6085 Anonymous
19th May 2014
Monday 2:34 pm
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>>6084

We just got air con installed in our kitchen. The entire thing from request to installation was an ordeal that took up half my time. As such I am never, ever turning it off, and currently we're standing in a commercial kitchen that is 16 degrees celcius. That might be a world record. It's truly an auspicious occasion. When we turned it on, two chefs hugged, one wiped a tear from his eye, and I saluted it. I'm going to draw a face on it and declare him in charge.
>> No. 6086 Anonymous
19th May 2014
Monday 3:13 pm
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I've just bought a high-powered floor fan for my room. Seems like the best thing is to point it at the ceiling and create a cool draft round the whole room - much easier than air con, at least.
>> No. 6087 Anonymous
19th May 2014
Monday 3:17 pm
6087 spacer
>>6085
Please make a little paper chef's hat and BlueTack it on the unit.
>> No. 6088 Anonymous
19th May 2014
Monday 5:17 pm
6088 spacer
>>6085
Fucking hell that must be glorious. I remember when I worked as a KP at a hotel during the summer when I was younger and we had to have the door to the kitchens which were in a basement wide open. After every meal session we all stripped out of out whites and sat outside under parasols drinking, because our whites were completely sodden with sweat. At it's worst it was around 30 degrees in that kitchen, it was fucking torture.
>> No. 6089 Anonymous
19th May 2014
Monday 5:49 pm
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>>6088

Last summer in our kitchen it hit 45 degrees on the cookline because the AC was broken, we were forbidden from spending more than 15 minutes at a time there and had to keep and drink lots of water.
>> No. 6090 Anonymous
19th May 2014
Monday 11:17 pm
6090 spacer
>>6089

I recorded ours at 45 degrees last year. They told us to open some windows.
>> No. 6091 Anonymous
19th May 2014
Monday 11:20 pm
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>>6090

You have windows in your kitchen? You lucky bugger. I didn't see sunlight for 3 weeks straight at Christmastime.
>> No. 6092 Anonymous
20th May 2014
Tuesday 1:44 am
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>>6091

I'm not sure whats worse, being stuck in a windowless dungeon is always pretty depressing, but so is having a panoramic view of everyone outside enjoying the weather when you're indoors.
>> No. 6168 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 9:01 am
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There is an obese woman who drinks a 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke at her desk every day. What is it with fatties and Diet Coke? You're not going to lose the lbs that way, love.
>> No. 6169 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 9:03 am
6169 spacer
>>6168
What is it with skinny people assuming fat people are so stupid that they pin their dieting hopes (which may or may not even exist) on Diet Coke?
>> No. 6170 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 9:38 am
6170 spacer
>>6169
Because you see loads of fat cunts stuffing their gobs full of food and following it up with a diet Coke.
>> No. 6171 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 9:42 am
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>>6169
You're obviously not trying to lose weight if you drink 2 litres of Diet Coke whilst at work, probably followed by a couple of bottles in an evening. They probably use Diet Coke instead of milk on their cereal.
>> No. 6172 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 9:59 am
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>>6170
Sigh. I'll be more explicit. It doesn't follow from that observation that they must think merely drinking Diet Coke will enable them to lose weight. It's entirely possible they just think they're getting an equivalent drinking experience with fewer calories. They might think this lower calorie intake (large meal + Diet Coke as opposed to large meal + calorific drink) reduces the likelihood of them putting on even more weight. To me that seems entirely reasonable. If I can see a coherent explanation behind someone's actions I tend to credit them with thinking that, rather than attributing to them nonsensical and fantastical thinking, perhaps to elevate myself above them.

Putting all that aside, it's a clichéd observation as are the jokes that follow from it.
>> No. 6173 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 10:29 am
6173 spacer
>>6172
Fatty detected.
>> No. 6174 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 10:38 am
6174 spacer
>>6173
Nah mate, I'd go to Japan and sell myself to whalers if I could ever be accused of being a fat cunt.
>> No. 6175 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 10:41 am
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>>6168

If you're on a calorie controlled diet then it's absolutely going to help. Firstly, it's pure sugar and even fat people can be aware it's bad for you. They probably drank normal coke at some point and switched, or are trying to wean themselves off it. You can lose weight eating nothing but pies as long as you're counting calories, and you should know that yourself. Diet coke is still pretty bad for you but she'll not be getting any fatter by drinking it.

It's akin to taking the piss of a fat bloke on a treadmill - you're directly observing them doing something ostensibly good for them (not equating diet coke with the gym before you start) yet you're disdainful.
>> No. 6176 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 11:14 am
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>>6175
She has had a 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke on her desk for years, I doubt she's trying to wean herself off it.
>> No. 6177 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 6:45 pm
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>>6175

In what sense is Diet Coke bad for you? Is it purely the aspartame or the psychological sweet-flavour dependence?

I'm interested - because I lost a huge amount of weight several years ago, primarily through eating an extremely clean and controlled diet, but drinking huge amounts of zero cal soft drinks to rid myself of the depression that accompanies spartan living.
>> No. 6178 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 6:54 pm
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>>6177
His phrasing was clumsy but I'm pretty sure he was saying sugar-laden Coca-Cola is bad for you and Diet Coke is a more sensible alternative for the overweight.
>> No. 6179 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 7:08 pm
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>>6177
>>6178

There are some commonly reported medical side effects of artificial sweeteners and all the other stuff that goes in to diet coke and the like, such as kidney problems, but really without sitting down for the weekend and reading all of the relevant studies it's hard to say one way or the other. Even then, you're dealing with a lot of bumf.

I think common sense would say that water is always going to be better for you in the long run than diet drinks, but it's going to be an issue of contention for as long as the media's reporting on medical studies remains as shoddy as it currently is.

I don't think anyone would advocate drinking proper coke over diet coke though, so it is a useful tool.
>> No. 6180 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 7:14 pm
6180 spacer
>>6177
>Is it purely the aspartame or the psychological sweet-flavour dependence?
Not him, but the lack of sugar makes you eat more. The sweet taste primes your brain for sugar but none is forthcoming.
>> No. 6181 Anonymous
30th May 2014
Friday 8:05 pm
6181 spacer
>>6177

There's (admittedly limited) evidence to suggest the body's insulin levels can respond to artificial sweeteners in a similar way to the sugary versions. I'm not sure I'm entirely convinced, but aside from that there's much stronger links with the consumption of large amounts of diet soft drinks and renal problems and a higher appetite. On an anecdotal level, drinking a litre of water makes me full, drinking a litre of diet coke makes me want to eat.

It's still far better than proper coke, but as someone who used to weigh almost 19 stone I know how hard it can be to give up the fizzy stuff entirely.
>> No. 6182 Anonymous
31st May 2014
Saturday 10:24 pm
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Had a fairly interesting day at work today.

Learned that a bloke working with us on community service was arrested again for bringing his daughter to work. His girlfriend called the police saying she was kidnapped. Though she is 15, not an infant as I assumed. He was arrested previously for "accidentally" trapping his girlfriend's fingers in a car door and harassing her on facebook.

Another bloke who was initially a very nice person has turned nasty. He's a smelly man. His odour contains every foul smell that a human body is capable of. He smells of BO, foot odour, shit kecks and piss. I think it's because he wears the same clothes every day. We were reluctant to tell him this because he was so nice and wanted to spare his feelings. However he has it in his thick skill he deserves authority and has become an arsehole both in attitude and smell in recent months. He has tried it on with several women who have had enough of his shit and one woman called him a vile and awful human being who stinks of shit. As a result he no longer works on the same day as that women.

His attitude towards my work has got to me where he thinks I do everything wrong and thinks he deserves my job. The pure bitchiness behind my back got me fairly riled up at first when I make every effort to ensure my work is correct, accurate and without reluctance to ask superiors for assurance I am doing my work correctly. At some point someone is going to smack his head in or at least have a very stern word with him about his conduct. The latest thing he's done is claim he's slept with another superior, while this person has a soft spot for him, she still considers him an absolute cunt.

Among other people at work there's a girl who claims she is a lesbian and often walks past outside of work with her latest conquest. She considers herself something of an upper middle class darling but does not think she is a snob. She said out loud that she "dislikes stupid people" as if to imply the people she works with are nothing but plebs. The reason she thinks herself something of a clever clogs is because she works in the hospital too but we all know she's just a part time receptionist. She also has BO.

Then there's me. I am not without my faults. I leave my area to go for a cigarette break once an hour, I am too chatty ending up completing tasks in four hours when it should only take one hour. I complain too much about trivial things and I fear maybe I too smell of BO especially in this summer heat, I really should bring in some deodorant and spray myself at lunch.

Fun times
>> No. 6183 Anonymous
31st May 2014
Saturday 10:57 pm
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>>6182

It sounds like you work in a kitchen of some sort. If that's the case I'm genuinely surprised he hasn't been shitcanned, or at the very least had someone shit in his locker.
>> No. 6184 Anonymous
31st May 2014
Saturday 11:02 pm
6184 spacer
>>6183
Nothing as refined as a kitchen.
>> No. 6185 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 12:05 am
6185 spacer
>>6181
I don't know how people can drink so much fizzy pop, every time I drink regular coke it's like I can feel my teeth rotting away unless I brush straight away. Energy drinks I can understand because of the wired caffeine/sugar high but coke (cola...) doesn't nearly give the same feeling. Give me a cup of tea or coffee any day.
>> No. 6186 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 12:25 am
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>>6185
When you drink it cold, it is like a weight has been lifted off your chest/shoulders. I get the same feeling you would get after... Say after moving houses and you got everything (all your boxes) in your new houses. You place your hands on your hips, inhale and exhale loudly. It makes me happy. That very first sip is like sticking your cock into the hottest whatsherface. It is like being in a desert for days on end and finding an oasis. It is like being the only survivor of a horrific car pile-up on the M1.

It might be slightly addictive, if you have an addictive personality like me, but I only crave it for a few days and after that I feel okay again... Until I drink it again.

Lately I have been drinking some 3 or 4 cans of Vanilla Coca-Cola everyday. The scent after you open it, as you hear it fizzing, is just so heavenly. If I get rich enough, I will fill my pool with soft drinks.
>> No. 6187 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 12:40 am
6187 spacer
>>6186
>Lately I have been drinking some 3 or 4 cans of Vanilla Coca-Cola everyday.
Christ, that stuff is deadly. All the sugar but even more moreish.
>> No. 6188 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 1:11 am
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>>6185
I'm the same way. I used to drink a little when I was younger and it was fine, but now I barely touch the stuff and my teeth really feel it when I do. I have friends who go through at least one litre bottle of coke a day and I have no idea how they manage it. I can only imagine their trips to the dentist.
>> No. 6189 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 8:45 am
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>>6186
Do you have a very salty diet? I'm sure I read somewhere that having a lot of salty food makes you crave sugary drinks, which is why McDonald's even make their burger buns salty.
>> No. 6190 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 12:23 pm
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>>6189
This post made me crave McDonald's cheeseburgers.
>> No. 6191 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 3:42 pm
6191 spacer
>>6190

I really hate the way companies like McDonalds get away with calling that yellow plastic shite they slop on their burgers "cheese."
>> No. 6192 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 4:59 pm
6192 spacer
>>6191
It may actually be cheese, I think the laws regarding labelling cheese and cheese analogues are pretty decent in the EU.
>> No. 6193 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 5:06 pm
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At work yesterday we had an argument between three parties of customers. Today, one of these customers had complained to head office about me, and I had to write a witness statement to explain the situation. Thankfully the managers all knew I wasn't in the wrong. But seriously, fuck customers.
>> No. 6194 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 6:37 pm
6194 spacer
>>6191>>6192
According to a quick Google it's 'a processed blend of Cheddar cheese'.

When the BBC did a series on Iceland last year or so the director made a big deal about their pizzas using proper cheese and said they're the only ones you'll get in that price range that aren't covered in analogue cheese.
>> No. 6195 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 6:43 pm
6195 spacer
>>6194

>When the BBC did a series on Iceland last year or so the director made a big deal about their pizzas using proper cheese and said they're the only ones you'll get in that price range that aren't covered in analogue cheese.
It's a shame nobody asked them about their analogue chicken and beef.
>> No. 6196 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 6:47 pm
6196 spacer
>>6194
The first thing I thought when you said 'analogue cheese' was "What? As opposed to digital cheese?"
>> No. 6197 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 6:52 pm
6197 spacer
>>6193

This happens to my missus at work all the time. As long as you follow company guidelines and protocol, you will get all the support available from Head office.

Some customers seem to think just by complaining they have won, but 99% of the time she'll get a follow up e-mail stating they are upholding her decision to not refund, etc. On those days she comes home happy and I might get a blowie, they are good days.

For the uninformed, after 28 days no shop in the land is obligated to give you any kind of cash refund. Not even if it is broken, there is separate legislation for that. They will most likely go above and beyond, replacing like for like or giving you a store credit to keep you happy, but they don't have to do that.

If you complain about that after trying to get a cash refund on a 6 month old phone you've decided you don't like anymore, you are responsible for me not getting sex and are therefore a cunt.
>> No. 6198 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 7:33 pm
6198 spacer
>>6197
>For the uninformed, after 28 days no shop in the land is obligated to give you any kind of cash refund.
Actually, they are for up to 6 months if the items are not as described or turn out to be unfit for purpose (which, if the buyer implies or expresses a particular purpose, includes that purpose). If it's appropriate, they can provide a replacement as an alternative.
>> No. 6199 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 8:06 pm
6199 spacer
>>6197
Her issue wasn't anything like that. The situation was that two girls in the queue antagonised a middle aged woman next to them. These two girls had a joint with them, which the woman was attacking them for. Things escalated between them, and another woman approached my till and told me I should get security, which I did. Got back 2 minutes later with security, and the woman who sent me off was now shouting and swearing at the other people for shouting and swearing and upsetting her daughter (I found out that while I was gone, she was shouting for her own daughter to 'man up' which probably upset her more than anything). Anyway, it all got a bit nuclear, security separating folk, and the woman who told me to get security is complaining that I just wandered off and left her in the middle of an argument. Thankfully my colleagues are backing me up, because they all heard me clearly tell the woman I would go get security. Shit, the girl on the till next to me offered to serve my customer so she didn't have to wait, but the customer refused so she could shout more at strangers in the queue/at me. Fucking mental.

Apparently in her complaint to head office, she said that security should have thrown the girls out for possession of drugs (even though we're not narcotics officers), and she has gone to the local newspaper to tell them the scandal of drugs being in the store.
>> No. 6200 Anonymous
1st June 2014
Sunday 9:14 pm
6200 spacer
>>6199
Textbook handling there. Crowd control isn't your job - it's security's job, which is what you summoned them to do in the first place.
>> No. 6201 Anonymous
3rd June 2014
Tuesday 4:18 pm
6201 spacer
The marketing department have unveiled an absolute monster of an e-mail signature; 5 images and 6 hyperlinks. An e-mail signature should not be greater than 200kb. Anyway, a fair few people have had e-mails bouncing back because other companies just think it's spam. The director who ultimately has the final say (who usually sends e-mails from his BlackBerry with no signature attached) thinks the fault is with the IT department for not being supportive enough of marketing because apparently we receive big shiny e-mails from other companies no problem.
>> No. 6202 Anonymous
3rd June 2014
Tuesday 5:15 pm
6202 spacer
>>6201

>5 images
>6 hyperlinks
Oh God. I bet they aren't blended in any way at all and look like something a 14 year old would have made on geocities so many years ago. Do they have flame decals and spinning skulls straddling the signature all the way down too?
>> No. 6203 Anonymous
3rd June 2014
Tuesday 5:57 pm
6203 spacer
>>6202
It might as well have. It's a hideous clusterfuck, I don't think any of the marketing bints know the meaning of the word succinct and would rather plaster everywhere ALL OF THE THINGS.
>> No. 6204 Anonymous
3rd June 2014
Tuesday 6:25 pm
6204 spacer
>>6203

I can't fathom why marketing has to be involved in email signatures anyway. If you're in direct communication with the client already, what's left to sell? Raffle tickets?
>> No. 6206 Anonymous
3rd June 2014
Tuesday 6:28 pm
6206 spacer
>>6204
If it isn't marketing approved then THE BRAND MAY BE HARMED.
>> No. 6207 Anonymous
3rd June 2014
Tuesday 6:36 pm
6207 spacer
>>6201
I wonder how much these incompetents get paid for thinking this stuff up.
>> No. 6208 Anonymous
3rd June 2014
Tuesday 6:54 pm
6208 spacer
>>6207

Between £26,000 and £42,000 a year.
http://www.hrjobs.co.uk/jobs/internal-communications/
>> No. 6324 Anonymous
20th June 2014
Friday 9:32 pm
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The IT lads have said in the first two weeks of June nearly 200 emails bounced back as spam, compared to just 2 in May. Rather than changing the signature the 'solution' is simply to delete it and re-send to anyone it's bounced back from.
>> No. 6335 Anonymous
21st June 2014
Saturday 9:07 am
6335 spacer
>>6201
You think that's bad? Our IT and marketing combo (it is one guy) removed our simple 1 image sig for some multi image scripted monster with a non static hyperlink that shows a preview image of the target. Opening any email with it attached is a long process! Clearly it also has hyperlinks to every social media etc.
>> No. 6349 Anonymous
22nd June 2014
Sunday 6:13 pm
6349 spacer
The Kiss/Kisstory (I don't know) radio station being on daily, I've heard the same songs daily for almost two years. I'm not one to bitch about the radio but when it's this repetitive.
>> No. 6350 Anonymous
22nd June 2014
Sunday 6:36 pm
6350 spacer
>>6349
Who decides what radio you listen to? We only get music at Christmas or if the higher ups are out for the rest of the day.
>> No. 6351 Anonymous
22nd June 2014
Sunday 10:56 pm
6351 spacer
>>6349
Oh fuck, so much this. At least I could bring in my mp3 player and headphones and block out hearing Call Me Maybe for the 10 trillionth time.
>> No. 6352 Anonymous
23rd June 2014
Monday 1:53 am
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When I was working nights at a factory many moons ago they used to alternate between Radio 1 and local radio. Local radio was fucking nightmarish, especially Graham Torrington's late night love. Radio 1 was fine because you got Gilles Peterson and John peel. I would often take my Discman in though.
>> No. 6353 Anonymous
23rd June 2014
Monday 3:39 am
6353 spacer
>>6349>>6350>>6351
it blows my mind that the people who control the radio can tolerate listening to the same songs everyday 5/6 days a week and not get smashed in the face with a waste paper bin, a keyboard and several staplers.

I don't care for pop music but I can tolerate it as long as I don't hear the same fucking songs all the fucking time. I mean christ there was a point in my life recently when I made plans to sabotage the radio because I was sick of hearing Pharrell William's Happy and Jason Derulo's Trumpets three times a day separately and more often next to each other.
>> No. 6354 Anonymous
23rd June 2014
Monday 3:42 am
6354 spacer
>>6353

https://www.youtube.com/v/pehHOqx7JXg
>> No. 6355 Anonymous
23rd June 2014
Monday 6:56 am
6355 spacer
>>6353
The women at work love trying to get each other to watch the same things on TV (Silk, Broadchurch, Happy Valley, etc. rather than soaps) so they can talk about it among themselves. I bet it's to do with this level of familiarity for music.
>> No. 6356 Anonymous
23rd June 2014
Monday 7:54 am
6356 spacer
>>6355

Err...does GoT count for this?
>> No. 6357 Anonymous
23rd June 2014
Monday 7:59 am
6357 spacer
>>6356
Probably. My girlfriend has just started Orange is the new Black on Netflix because all the young 'uns at her work watch it and she doesn't want to feel left out.
>> No. 6358 Anonymous
23rd June 2014
Monday 12:06 pm
6358 spacer
>>6357

Has she any wool?
>> No. 6360 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 7:43 pm
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Wanker.jpg
636063606360
Trigger Warning: Social recluses may begin to spasm/vomit/weep.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667101/Now-thats-office-party-Insurance-boss-spends-500-000-hiring-Millennium-Stadium-transforming-fairytale-wonderland-5-000-staff-music-Olly-Murs.html

I mean, God, can you even imagine the horror of it?
>> No. 6361 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 7:50 pm
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>>6360
>When most businesses belonging to the FTSE 100 index might have a strict, no-nonsense style, Admiral has a Ministry of Fun - a team dedicated to organising weekly social activities for staff

Fuck me. Did he not consider that maybe his staff would be happier to have the money spent on his shit parties in their pocket?
>> No. 6362 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 8:09 pm
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>>6360
Sounds alright to me. My company usually has an annual piss up; it's always a laugh and nice to meet up with friends I have in other offices.
>> No. 6363 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 8:29 pm
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>>6361
If it's a free bar, then all is forgiven.
>> No. 6364 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 8:38 pm
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>>6361

£500,000 between 5,000 staff would be £100 each. If he does something like this once a year, that's £100 a year per person.

Instead of getting that £100, a lot of which would go on tax, they get something absolutely amazing, like having an office party in a massive national icon with a major pop celebrity in attendance and mingling with the guests.
>> No. 6365 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 9:58 pm
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>>6364
>with a major pop celebrity

Ooh wow, my life is truly complete. Just give me my £100 and leave me alone.
>> No. 6366 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 10:01 pm
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>>6365
For reference, a friend of mine working for Admiral has been promoted five times, and has just applied for a civil service admin job - it's only £18k but it still represents a pay rise compared to their current job.
>> No. 6367 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 10:36 pm
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>>6366

Christ, how do people live on that?
>> No. 6368 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 10:52 pm
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>>6362
It's all well and good if work is willing to pay for it. We had to pay for our own Christmas party out of pocket. The head of our department was eventually pressured into laying on two bottles of wine for each table of ten on expenses, and very nearly got a bollocking for it. Meanwhile, while they were all invited, all of about three of the people working for our business partner turned up. Needless to say, we were not invited to their party, where not only did they not have to pay for dinner but also with a company charge card backing the tab they effectively had a free bar.
>> No. 6369 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 10:54 pm
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>>6367
By neither living nor working in London.
>> No. 6370 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 10:56 pm
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>>6355
>>6357
Maybe I'm an oddjob but this kind of pressure makes me less likely to watch a show rather than more. If I had found out about Breaking Bad on my own I would most likely have thought it was great and watched it but constantly hearing people go on about how good it was put me off starting until after it had already finished and everyone had forgotten about it.

The same things happened to me with The Simpsons and Lord of The Rings. Great things but hyped massively when they were big. I cannot fathom the mindset that thinks mindlesly following the herd is a good thing.
>> No. 6371 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:00 pm
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>>6360
Just shows what a fucking racketeering operation insurance is. Honestly, what do these people contribute to society? Fuck all, I'd rather give a free party to all the binmen or toilet cleaners than these tosspots.
>> No. 6372 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:09 pm
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>>6370
Obama said don't be a cynic.
>> No. 6373 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:26 pm
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>>6371
They ensure people are covered when shit hits the fan.

If they didn't contribute something people need or want they wouldn't exist.
>> No. 6374 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:26 pm
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>>6370
>I cannot fathom the mindset that thinks mindlesly following the herd is a good thing.
But you're just doing whatever the herd doesn't do, and anybody who has done psych 101 can tell you that anti-conformism is just another type of conformism. If you were truly independent you would give every show a fair chance regardless of how many other people watch it.
>> No. 6375 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:39 pm
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>>6373
There is no choice though. Car insurance is a legal requirement, and resultantly it's just gotten plain ridiculous for younger drivers. Either it should be a legal requirement and strictly regulated or an optional extra, not the current racket.
>> No. 6376 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:39 pm
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I heard the phrases 'touching base', 'whistle stop tour' and 'internal engagement' in a single meeting today.

I think I'm going to record every instance of swanky corporate speak I can.
>> No. 6377 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:42 pm
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>>6374
You're putting words in my mouth and straw-manning. I never claimed to be a special unique snowflake that does things independant of all external influences because that's fucking ridiculous. I just can't understand why you would watch a show just because it's popular. I just assume anything that is popular amongst the great unwashed is going to be simplistic and shallow, and am pleasantly surprised when it isn't.
>> No. 6378 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:42 pm
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>>6376

It's probably obvious what word autocorrected there.
>> No. 6379 Anonymous
24th June 2014
Tuesday 11:56 pm
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>>6376
"Developing sustainable design"
"Creating an idea platform"
"Brain-storm session"

Drives me mental. Some make sense, but there is no sense in saying "Brain storm session", when you can easily say "have a fucking discussion".

I work with die-hard pragmatists who tear and shit out any slick-suited shysters. I really value their uncompromising hatred to jargon and unclear wording. God bless scientific academia.
>> No. 6380 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 12:07 am
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>>6379
I hate all the jargon that pricks in middle management use to train staff in low skill jobs. I work at a popular clothing retailer, and the training materials are total bollocks. Recently introduced the "never say no" policy when dealing with customers, which is 'the customer is always right' taken to the extreme. And recently we've been told we have to make conversations with customers, which is awful as I'm legitimately autistic and can't make small talk with people I like. But there I am getting bollocked for not asking generic lower middle class where they're going on holiday when they buy their twatty The Only Way Is Essex towels and Family Guy t-shirts, even though they're all going to the Iberian peninsula, the Canaries or the Balearics. All customers are cunts, especially you who's reading this.
>> No. 6381 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 12:11 am
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>>6380
Why can't you lot leave me alone to fucking browse in peace? I can't take a single step without being asked if I need something. Leave me the fuck alone. I don't like people. If I need something, I will ask. Stop badgering me.
>> No. 6382 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 12:23 am
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>>6376
Seriously, lad? Have you never played Bullshit Bingo? Just this morning I finished needing only "onboarding" for a full house.
>> No. 6383 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 12:24 am
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>>6381
That is exactly how I feel. They said to serve customers like how we would want to be served, but I wouldn't want to be talked to. Also we always have to smile now, even on the phone, as it's impossible to sound unpleasant if you're smiling.
>> No. 6384 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 12:32 am
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>>6379
You can make your own!
http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html
>> No. 6385 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 1:17 am
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>>6384
Evolve plug-and-play mindshare.
>> No. 6386 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 7:03 am
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>>6370
>I cannot fathom the mindset that thinks mindlesly following the herd is a good thing.

If my peers, that I'm spending about 40 hours a week with, were raving about something I'd probably check it out and decide for myself whether I like it. There is a line between just following everyone else and listening to recommendations from them. You lot have influenced me by getting me in to Grimes, Die Antwoord and Cosmo Jarvis, amongst others, although I probably spend greater than 40 hours a week here

On topic, I seem to have recently been working for managers who really aren't cut out for it, especially the man management side, but were promoted either because nobody else wanted that job or for being decent in their previous role. You should not promote someone to run an office based on how good they are at being a salesman.
>> No. 6387 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 7:07 am
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>>6384
>implement dynamic paradigms

This is golden, thank you.
>> No. 6389 Anonymous
25th June 2014
Wednesday 4:04 pm
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>>6379
> when you can easily say "have a fucking discussion".
"That's unprofessional to say that!". Gee.
>>6380
> which is 'the customer is always right'
Even if he is a complete tosspot?
>>6382
How to play it?
>> No. 6391 Anonymous
26th June 2014
Thursday 6:41 pm
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Fuck me, what a day. In my ten years of employment, I can say this has been one of the worst. Today, I worked with this middle-aged bitch on my own for 9 hours. She is senile, stinks of piss and most of all retarded.

She's a two-faced bitch who will pretend to be your friend one on one but in front of others she will talk to you like shit. Everyone at work hates her both customers and staff, she's shit at her job and I wish I'd never met her.

She's the kind of stupid where you *have* to do it her way otherwise she'll get upset and moan at you. She treats others like a general dogsbody whilst herself she's a lazy cunt. Lord knows how she's made it 17 years in the industry without getting fired.

I've been in this job for less than 2 weeks, and whilst I can't do everything she can, the things I do do, I do better. She fucking panics with even the slightest time pressure and always talks in a rude tone. All I can draw solace from is my next review, I will lay into this bitch like no tomorrow. I'd be so pleased if I get her fired. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I'm requesting to never work with her on my own again.
>> No. 6393 Anonymous
26th June 2014
Thursday 7:27 pm
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>>6391

Are you Michael Heseltine in 1990?
>> No. 6394 Anonymous
26th June 2014
Thursday 7:50 pm
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>>6389

http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/
>> No. 6395 Anonymous
26th June 2014
Thursday 8:55 pm
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>>6391
Your rage made me chuckle for all it's worth.

We all have that cunt.
>> No. 6399 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 7:03 am
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>>6391

Been there. Last time this happened was about 10 years ago. I just quit and fucked off to Australia. I didn't like Oz, but being in the blazing sunshine knowing with a beer in hand, a whole planet between myself and her made me smile.
>> No. 6400 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 2:09 pm
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Wow, came back into the office and some brilliant person decided to have a fish lunch at their desk. Now our entire office reeks.
>> No. 6401 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 2:41 pm
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>>6400

As someone who is allergic to fish, I would advise you to have a chat with HR.
>> No. 6402 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 3:10 pm
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>>6401
We don't have a HR, seeing as it's a academic office these matters get resolved two ways:

1) Do nothing and seethe with rage and post on .gs
2) Tell the person, but no matter how polite or nice you word your concerns, it'll come off as annoyed/belligerent/angry to the individual because they are inconsiderate and selfish twats. Then, you'll have to see that person every single day, and of course they'll drag your name through the dirt and make it seem as if you were aggressive about the whole non-issue.

I hate this group.
>> No. 6403 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 3:13 pm
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>>6402
3) Arrange a diversion and sabotage her smelly food with laxatives
>> No. 6404 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 3:50 pm
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>>6400
When I worked for the local council there was a man who would regularly eat tins of mackerel, cut his toenails and have a nap at his desk or go for a wander round the guildhall because he felt like it. I know I've posted about this before, but I don't know if I have in this thread and it's too long to check on my phone.
>> No. 6405 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 4:04 pm
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>>6402
>a HR
>a academic
A irony.
>> No. 6406 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 4:08 pm
6406 spacer
>>6405

"a HR" is correct.
>> No. 6407 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 4:27 pm
6407 spacer
>>6406
>a aitch arr

No lad.
>> No. 6408 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 4:29 pm
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>>6407
This reminds me, recently saw a poster advertising the "Tour De Essex (sic)". Out of all the people sitting around the office making that, nobody had even a C in GCSE French/realised that sounds fucking stupid?
>> No. 6410 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 4:59 pm
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>>6407
>a human
Yes, lad.
>> No. 6411 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 4:59 pm
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>>6408
Marketing aren't exactly known for their grammatical command of the written word
>> No. 6412 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:09 pm
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>>6407

A haich are

Either way is correct depending on pronunciation. In a literal sense however it should always be a before a h. There is a tendency today to slur one's hs though, which makes an h acceptable.
>> No. 6413 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:22 pm
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>>6408
From an autistic point of view they're correct, since it's a title and it's for an English audience and tour de france.is a single title here rather than 'the tour of france', and as such doesn't have genuine meaning so the capital does belong there.

Fuck it. I'm watching Battle: Los Angeles, take pity on me.
>> No. 6414 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:27 pm
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>>6412
There is no aitch before aitch. Whether to use 'a' or 'an' depends on whether you're speaking or writing. In spoken form you say 'an HR' but in written form it's 'a HR' because you use the article appropriate for what it stands for.
>> No. 6415 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:38 pm
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>>6414

Isn't that what I said?
>> No. 6416 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:40 pm
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>>6412
>In a literal sense however it should always be a before a h.
What? How? As you seemed to acknowledge, it's nothing directly to do with the beginning letter but the first syllable's pronunciation and more specifically the presence of a vowel sound. Would you really defend "a honour"?

And in British English it's "aitch", although "haitch" is increasingly more common.
>> No. 6417 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:46 pm
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>>6416

I meant literal as in literature as >>6414 clarified. The dictionary doesn't support my use of the word though so it looks like I was trying to be too smart there. Sorry for the confusion.

As an aside, can anyone tell me what word I was looking for there? I'm at a bit of a loss.
>> No. 6418 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:51 pm
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>>6417

literary
>> No. 6419 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:51 pm
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>>6412
>haitch

There is not enough fire in hell for what you've done lad.

>>6413
No, the point is that it should say 'Tour D'Essex'. Saying 'De Essex' sounds as stupid as saying 'a apple'.
>> No. 6421 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 5:54 pm
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>>6418

Thanks.
>> No. 6423 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 6:10 pm
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>>6422
>I don't think it matters whether you're writing an initial or a word, either way it's still writing.
So I'll ask again: are you really defending writing "a honour"? And if so, why are most people not adhering to this "rule"?
>> No. 6424 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 6:16 pm
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>>6423

There are always exceptions to rules in English. It seems that h followed by a vowel changes the correct preceding article. I'll repost what you quoted below, I deleted it when the person I quoted deleted his post.


>>6420

I should probably bow out of this conversation in shame over my inability to use the word literary, but I'll have another punt.

I don't think it matters whether you're writing an initial or a word, either way it's still writing.

please take "in my opinion" as implied in all of my posts from this point on
>> No. 6427 Anonymous
27th June 2014
Friday 7:31 pm
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>>6419
"Tour De Essex" is acceptable because it preserves the reference. It also helps that Essex folk would probably pronounce the particle as "di" rather than "duh".
>> No. 6428 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 12:46 am
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People who just don't give a fuck about doing their job correctly when it is easily within their capabilities.

I was explaining to someone how my coach's method of explaining things would always become a bit conflicted with my autism and way of internalising things, this lass piped up with "oh don't worry about it, people tell me things and it just doesn't go in". Observing this person shows me they don't want anything to go in, they will do the bare minimum and take very little initiative, if anything being a prime source of problems we're trying to erase. Shock of shocks she had been to university.
>> No. 6429 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 1:15 am
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>>6428
I don't even know what you are trying to say. There is nothing wrong with doing the bare minimum. I do it all the time, because there really is no point in trying.
>> No. 6430 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 1:16 am
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>>6428
In all honesty - I sometime intentionally just don't give a fuck about some things. Reason for this is because I do not want to raise the expectations of my boss who will continuously expect a high output from me and start moaning when it isn't up to that raised standard. I do enough to get by, but seldom out of keenness. Of course when there is something I'm passionate about I push the boat out - since I don't want to come across as a mong.
>> No. 6431 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 8:02 am
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>>6429
This. I generally coast along unless I need to do something overly technical or within a tight deadline. The key is to put yourself in a position where you can be trusted to be left to your own devices and then to give the impression that you're a hard worker, reliable and a team player. The reality is I'm stuck in second gear, spend half an hour a day dicking about on my phone (usually on here) but I can do the work to a decent standard without having to exert myself.
>> No. 6432 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 8:15 am
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>>6431

Or be in charge. Pleb.
>> No. 6433 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 10:53 am
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>>6432
Of the just shy of 600 posts in here I don't think any of them are from a managerial position, or at least from a manager complaining about their serfs. Also, you might want to go back to funchan if you're eager to brand people plebs.
>> No. 6434 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 3:37 pm
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>>6431
Amen to that. I think that's how any half-decent IT person operates. But it can be pretty soul-destroying after a while.
>> No. 6435 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 4:05 pm
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>>6429
Me too. I won't be paid more for doing more, so what's the point.
>> No. 6436 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 7:04 pm
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>>6434
I'm not in IT, however I'm in the same office as my company's IT department. They have a lot of downtime, which is why they work from home most of the time, but as far as I can tell they spend the day either on Facebook, answering phonecalls from someone who has forgot their password and locked themselves out or from other companies trying to sell them shit or mocking the directors who have seen something new and shiny and have decided that it needs rolling out company-wide because it's shiny and they haven't thought of the practicalities of it or they think we can launch a company-wide video conferencing service for about £50 because they have Skype at home.
>> No. 6437 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 7:28 pm
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>>6436
>mocking the directors who have seen something new and shiny and have decided that it needs rolling out company-wide because it's shiny and they haven't thought of the practicalities of it
I saw (and partook in) plenty of this when I worked in IT. It used to be PDAs, department heads all wanted PDAs because they "needed email on the go" but in practice we saw that almost none of them actually used the service. Then it was tablet laptops (complete waste of space they were), netbooks, and then ipads. Honourable mention for office staff who needed Toughbooks "because they were on building sites sometimes".

It was alright really, it meant I got to play around with all this stuff first.
>> No. 6438 Anonymous
28th June 2014
Saturday 7:40 pm
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>>6437
I know one of the directors has wangled himself an iPad on the basis that he can use it to take pictures of his notes and then write notes on the picture.

When I worked for the local council the mobile phone bill was astronomical because of so many people in middle management insisting they have one, despite the fact they never used it, solely because some managers actually needed mobiles in their jobs and the others wanted to show that they're just as important as them.
>> No. 6441 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 1:55 pm
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>>6438

Why didn't you just put all the wankers on pay as you go sims?
>> No. 6442 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 3:08 pm
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>>6441
I wasn't in a position to do anything about it, plus that council didn't seem to have any issues with squandering money.
>> No. 6443 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 4:24 pm
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I have a somewhat work-related question:

Why is that people on their own are fairly alright, but when in a group they are insufferable shits?
>> No. 6444 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 4:38 pm
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>>6443
Do you just mean in a group socially or in a group for a project or something?

Socially it's a mystery. Maybe they want to look better than everyone else but they end up looking like a twat.

For a project it's because there's usually two sides. The side that wants shit done and the other that procrastinates or is too laid back and lets the rest of the team do their job or lags behind making everyone else on the group waiting on them.
>> No. 6445 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 5:26 pm
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>>6444
Socially.

I say this because there is this lad, who normally is a complete cock towards me at lunch/meeting and other gatherings. You know, being rude, ignoring questions, avoiding conversation, that sort of stuff.

When left on our own it's "How is it going? What are you doing? How you've been? Oh wow, yeah, blah blah blah". Fuck off you disingenuous prick.
>> No. 6447 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 5:44 pm
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>>6445
Yeah, how dare somebody be crap and overwhelmed in a many-person meeting?
>> No. 6448 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 5:47 pm
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>>6447
I don't really know what you mean, but my point is, why can't someone act more or less the same, without cherry picking when to be a cunt and when not to be. Doesn't make sense.
>> No. 6449 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 5:53 pm
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>>6448
Welcome to the Snakepit.
>> No. 6450 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 5:57 pm
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>>6448
Do you call him a cunt to his face, or just online?
People behave differently in different situations, I guess.
His crimes of 'being rude, ignoring questions, avoiding conversations' - are they possibly indications of him being under pressure and absolutely fucking hating where he is and what he's having to do?
Or he could just be a cunt. Quite a specific kind of cunt, though, hence me pondering.
>> No. 6451 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 6:04 pm
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>>6448
Sounds like he knows he can get away with it in a group setting, but he doesn't want it to be awkward when it's just the two of you. If he spends a lot of time with you at work then it may just be that, in group settings, he'd rather talk to someone else for a change.
>> No. 6452 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 6:05 pm
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>>6450
Well if they are indications of him being under pressure, I don't know why this is directed at me in a very passive aggressive manner.
If he was a cunt on a person to person level, I'd even accept that, that way I know exactly what he's about instead of some pretence that he actually gives a shit about anyone.
>> No. 6453 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 6:10 pm
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>>6451
Exactly, however I don't spend much time around him. I actively try to get away as far as possible since I know all our conversations are so predictable and mundane that it's physically nauseating to sit through them. You know those fake small-talks? Ones were you both exactly know they're utterly futile, yet do them anyway since it kills the silence.

I just bring this up, seeing as I had to share a space with him at a conference and there was no one else around. I got the sense "Hmm, maybe he isn't so bad after all and I misjudged him, yeah he's alright". Then the next day, but to cunt basics 101.
>> No. 6454 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 6:12 pm
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>>6445
I've run into this countless times in life. I have a friend who is intelligent, funny, and respectful in one on one situations, but I have learned to only visit him/invite him over when it's just the two of us because in a group (especially if there's people he doesn't know) he becomes intolerable - always trying to show off and be "top dog". He's not very good at it, which has led to some quite awkward situations in the past.

I always suspected that it stemmed from self-esteem issues, that this behaviour was really just a front to cover up feelings of insecurity. I haven't seen him in a year or two, maybe he's grown out of it. I hope so, because it was irritating as fuck.
>> No. 6455 Anonymous
29th June 2014
Sunday 6:40 pm
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>>6454
>I always suspected that it stemmed from self-esteem issues, that this behaviour was really just a front to cover up feelings of insecurity.

It usually is. People with the biggest fronts are usually those who are most scared of others.
>> No. 6636 Anonymous
2nd August 2014
Saturday 9:51 am
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We've got this work experience/intern (paid) lass in. I know I was a bit dim when I was 18, but I don't think I'd need it pointing out to me that you should amend template letters so they don't go out to clients saying 'Dear [NAME]' or that you should actually check the letters in the outgoing post tray instead of just bunging them all in one envelope, especially considering she's been here about 6 weeks.
>> No. 6637 Anonymous
2nd August 2014
Saturday 10:03 am
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>>6636

That doesn't sound like dimness as much as indifference.
>> No. 6638 Anonymous
2nd August 2014
Saturday 10:40 am
6638 spacer
>>6636

She should go away and learn how to think.
>> No. 6639 Anonymous
2nd August 2014
Saturday 10:54 am
6639 spacer
>>6637
It's probably a bit of both, she's certainly not the brightest spark. In the three and a half years I've been here we've had two interns and neither were based on merit; this one is related to someone else who works here and the other was the son of a wealthy client one of the directors wanted to do more business with.
>> No. 6640 Anonymous
2nd August 2014
Saturday 11:03 am
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>>6639
Sounds like they got a good deal. Better relations with the client, and free labour thrown into the bargain. If they're shit, you can always give them busywork. It would be a very different proposition if you were actually expected to pay them.
>> No. 6641 Anonymous
2nd August 2014
Saturday 11:32 am
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>>6640
This one is on a bit more than minimum wage. The other was given a few hundred quid for four week's work, but he didn't really need it because he was 19 and drove a brand new Subaru Impreza WRX (which start at about £30k). He was a nice lad.
>> No. 6714 Anonymous
21st August 2014
Thursday 10:42 am
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When someone else has to show you how to do something on a computer and they do things wrong and it eats me up inside differently, like holding the delete button to gradually get rid of entire paragraphs instead of highlighting the whole paragraph in one fell swoop and then pressing delete or not using keyboard shortcuts, or even right clicking, and using the icons at the top of Word to copy and paste.
>> No. 6715 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 1:53 am
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>>6714
If I had one wish, I'd ask for everyone in the world to know universal keyboard shortcuts like Ctrl-A, shift-clicking text etc
>> No. 6716 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:13 pm
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I fucking hate people who talk and use their phones while a work presentation's going on in office hours. It doesn't matter if it's fucking boring, you're being given money to fucking sit there quietly and you're probably getting more free food and coffee than you can shake a stick at. But oh no, it's such a big ask for you to sit still and shut the fuck up for a while without reading whatever vacuous wank has your momentary attention.

Don't even get me started on the rat-faced cunts who chat throughout the things. Fuck me.
>> No. 6717 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:14 pm
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>>6716
What kind of presentation?
>> No. 6718 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:18 pm
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>>6717
Any kind. It doesn't matter, you're on the payroll, do your fucking job.
>> No. 6719 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:20 pm
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>>6718
>do your fucking job
So you're not complaining about people ignoring presentations per se, but people taking an opportunity to skive off during work? Christ, I imagine you hate the vast majority of the population then.
>> No. 6720 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:25 pm
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>>6719
You're meant to skive off when people aren't looking, not when a senior manager is giving a presentation they've spent their time preparing and you're sat next to a load of your colleagues who might actually give a fuck, distracting them with your shithouse flappy bird skills.
>> No. 6721 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:39 pm
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>>6718
My job isn't sitting through your stupid fucking presentation. Neither is it sitting through your stupid fucking meeting. Your stupid fucking presentation/meeting is keeping me away from my actual job without even making a reasonable attempt at bribery by way of free stuff. If the best you're going to do is the two packs of doughnuts you deigned to buy on your way back from lunch, then I'll be taking one back to my desk as compensation for having my flow interrupted.
>> No. 6722 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:43 pm
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>>6721
>My job isn't sitting through your stupid fucking presentation.

So you'll be returning your equivalent pay to the company since you've not been at work, right?

Tit.
>> No. 6723 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:48 pm
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Maybe if your presentations weren't so shite naybody'd be ignoring ya'?

All I'm sayin' is, that if everyone's treating you like a big greasy tit, maybe you're a big greasy tit?

Now buy me a fuckin' doughnut, it's nay like you can't afford it, Mr Senior Manager.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 6724 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 11:48 pm
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>>6722
-4/10 YOU'RE FIRED
>> No. 6725 Anonymous
27th August 2014
Wednesday 5:51 pm
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Shower of Bastards Limited, knobchops speaking.
>Hello, I've missed a call from this number.
Okay, may I take your name so I can ask around the office to see who's called you?
>CERTAINLY NOT, YOU CALLED ME.
Well we're Shower of Bastards, we're a shower of bastards and you're one of our clients. It's likely that a consultant or one of their administrators called you, so if I can establish who you are I'll know which consultant you're a client of.
>EVEN THOUGH WE'VE ESTABLISHED I'M YOUR CLIENT AND THIS ISN'T A COLD CALL I'M STILL GOING TO BE EXTREMELY SECRETIVE AND UNCOOPERATIVE.

And so on and so forth. It's only happened two or three times, but it's always middle-aged women.
>> No. 6763 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 10:15 pm
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>>6716
>Don't even get me started on the rat-faced cunts who chat throughout the things. Fuck me.

We had a manager who used to shoehorn herself into presentations and the like that had absolutely nothing to do with her, presumably to make herself feel important or so that it appeared she was actually doing things and didn't have a complete non-job. She'd say a few sentences at the start and then spend the rest of the time at the back of the room, either gossiping or TAP TAP TAPPING on her phone with her huge false nails. Last month she was made redundant and I haven't met a single person sad to see her go.
>> No. 6766 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 10:30 pm
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We've recently had the new intake of graduates. There's this particularly gormless one who hasn't heard of read receipts and will call you 10 minutes after sending an email to see if you've read it.
>> No. 6767 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 10:31 pm
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>>6766
More fool you causticlad, I'm the only grad in the department.
>> No. 6768 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 10:34 pm
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>>6766

7/10, mirth and merriment.
>> No. 6769 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 10:27 am
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>>6767
Last time we had a graduate recruitment day I can remember them wandering around being like "OH WOW YOU HAVE A FAX MACHINE, DO YOU STILL USE IT? THAT'S, LIKE, SO 80s". This is how I'm picturing you.
>> No. 6770 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 12:22 pm
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A friend of mine runs an Engineering company and has the problem of getting university grads and such who really want to be engineers, then recoil in horror when they spend a day at his place and realise you have to actually build stuff and get dirty instead of sitting at a computer.
>> No. 6771 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 12:57 pm
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>>6770
That's sad.
>> No. 6772 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 1:38 pm
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>>6770
To be fair, the thought of British people actually making something is enough to send anyone into shock, nevermind a wet behind the ears graduate.
>> No. 6773 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 6:13 pm
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>>6770

I'm actually the opposite. I ended up with an job where I'm stuck behind a computer all day, and I do miss doing proper engineering work.
>> No. 6774 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 6:19 pm
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>>6770>>6773

Likewise, I love to get dirty and actually use my hands as well as a brain. There is nothing more soul destroying then wasting away in front of a monitor, while getting stupid emails about meetings and cunts birthdays.
>> No. 6775 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 6:32 pm
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>>6769
I couldn't care less about what some neanderthal who works in an office with a fax machine thinks.
>> No. 6776 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 6:59 pm
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>>6775
n1 m8, etc.
>> No. 6777 Anonymous
4th September 2014
Thursday 12:44 pm
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>>6775
I, for one, have never used a fax machine.
>> No. 6778 Anonymous
4th September 2014
Thursday 1:19 pm
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>>6775
Lol more like faux machine amirite?

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 6824 Anonymous
12th September 2014
Friday 2:32 pm
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I had to sit in on a webinar this morning, that's 90 minutes of my life I'm not getting back.

The delay as the person with the laptop doesn't know how to dial in. The projector not being set up properly so the screen is blurry and the right side is 30% larger than the left. Having one person on the phone being quiet and distorted and the other being ridiculously loud so you have to choose between not hearing anything or being deafened. The person next to you constantly shuffling. The person next to you making Nazi salutes whenever someone talks on the phone. Terrible feedback on the speakerphone whenever someone at our end talks. The person who uses the laptop has it going into screensaver every 10 minutes and it's password protected and they've decided to sit as far away from the laptop as possible. The person who doesn't realise the presentation is controlled remotely and keeps saying we need to move it on to the next slide. Every slide. Saying any old shite when it's apparent the quiet one has asked a question and none of us caught it. The fact that I'm almost certain we had this presentation a few months back. Fuck me.
>> No. 6831 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 8:58 pm
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That one bitch that thinks the place is owned by them. Always commenting on your habits, and noticing when you come in and leave.

We have flexible hours, but she always makes a point of calling me late if I'm a minute over 9am.
>> No. 6832 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 9:20 pm
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>>6831
But everyone knows that flexible working hours means you start early, and leave on time or early. If you use flexible working hours to start late you're obviously out on the piss every night and you need those extra few minutes after 9 to sober up.
>> No. 6833 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 9:26 pm
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>>6831
I know exactly what you mean.

It's my flexi you mardy cunt, leave me alone.
>> No. 6834 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 9:35 pm
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>>6832
My previous job was flexible working, but only for staying late; if you turned up 20 minutes early then it was tough shit. However I've had a couple of jobs where people would work 8 - 5 and build up two days to take off/have paid in lieu every 3 weeks, so it was probably to prevent this.
>> No. 6835 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 10:38 pm
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>>6832
>you need those extra few minutes after 9 to sober up

AND? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM???111
>> No. 6836 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 10:56 pm
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I'm not sure which I dislike more: standard hours, or flexi accounting. Especially for knowledge work, where one should be measured by output, not input.
>> No. 6837 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 11:01 pm
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People who accost you in minutes of friendly conversation while you're clearly packing up your shit.

I can't fault them for wanting a few moments away from the grindstone while they're staying behind to clear their figurative in-tray but come on I've got fresh air to breathe.
>> No. 6838 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 11:53 pm
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>>6831>>6837
I share all of these sentiments.

I love it when people point out that I'm either late or early. Cheers for your keen observation. Also don't get why people spend on average 10 minutes taking about the weather and their incredulity of its unpredictability.
>> No. 6839 Anonymous
16th September 2014
Tuesday 12:14 am
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>>6834
We've got a similar system, except you can shift your day by an hour or so (come in early, leave early). There's never any problem with staying late. Any "overtime" doesn't accrue as such, but you can come in a bit later in the morning if you were particularly late in leaving the day before and we do get to take time off in lieu if, for whatever sensible reason, we had to come in during the weekend or bank holidays. As long as we stick to the unofficial "core" time most of the time, no one really cares. Of course, it helps that everyone who works here wants to work here and generally speaking like their jobs so no one takes the piss. Sageru for apparently being quite lucky.
>> No. 6840 Anonymous
16th September 2014
Tuesday 7:03 am
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>>6838
>Also don't get why people spend on average 10 minutes taking about the weather and their incredulity of its unpredictability.

Welcome to Britain, matey.
>> No. 6841 Anonymous
16th September 2014
Tuesday 10:18 am
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>>6840
I'm aware of that. Just that it just seems like a tedious amount of white noise at this stage as it's something so irrelevant and beyond anyones control...

I especially when there's a torrential downpour, and every single time without fail, you will have people walking up to the windows and gawping.
>> No. 6842 Anonymous
16th September 2014
Tuesday 1:13 pm
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>>6839
What industry do you work in?
>> No. 6843 Anonymous
16th September 2014
Tuesday 8:52 pm
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>>6842
It's a software company (intentionally vague, I'm afraid) which is reasonably young but profitable. It grew organically to its current size (it's small enough that everyone still knows everyone else's name, but not so small that you'd talk to everyone every day) so the atmosphere is quite friendly and still a bit start-up like despite being well out of that stage from a business point of view.
>> No. 6844 Anonymous
16th September 2014
Tuesday 9:17 pm
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>>6843
I recall guessing someone's company (KBR) in a /job/ thread out of the vaguest clues, it was a proud moment.
>> No. 6845 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 6:49 am
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>>6843
I work for a company that started just over 10 years ago. They used to make a big deal about there being no real hierarchy, now they're adding in layers of management (and making a lot of them redundant once they've realised they were never needed/it hadn't been thought through what they'd actually do) and giving people grandiose job titles like there's no tomorrow.
>> No. 6849 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 6:09 pm
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>>6845
I'm not the chap you responded to, but your situation sounds awfully similar to my own. The only difference, perhaps, is that the company I woke for is family owned and anybody in management (a 'Director') is related to the MD or his son, regardless of how qualified to manage in their respective departments they are.
>> No. 6850 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 7:48 pm
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>>6849
Our company isn't family owned, but at the moment we have a graduate whom was parachuted in because her dad's a manager and someone else is the head of a department because their brother is one of the directors.
>> No. 6875 Anonymous
19th September 2014
Friday 11:00 pm
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>>6845
There is a definite hierarchy, but it makes sense. The business folks (sales, marketing, CEO, etc.) have their house in order as far as I know, the tech side is loosely organized into sub groups based on tasks: the person with the best combination of experience and people skills is the de facto leader, the rest fit in somewhere below but if there's a certain area of expertise that one person is known for then they get to have the final say. For example, we have one guy who has a lot of experience with various build systems and their pros and cons, so he has a lot of input when there are design decisions involving those. We have another person with an exceptional grasp of, roughly speaking, statistics and machine learning so she gets a lot of say in that area etc.

I have no doubt this will go to shit eventually as the company grows further (the current self-organizing approach is already approaching its limits), but while it lasts... wheee!
>> No. 6943 Anonymous
25th September 2014
Thursday 6:27 pm
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WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO MANAGE CLIENT EXPECTATIONS.

FUCK. OFF.
>> No. 6944 Anonymous
25th September 2014
Thursday 6:41 pm
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>>6943
Ugh. Agreed. Runaway clients are an actual thing, but all too often when I hear this it isn't a genuine case of managing expectations but a euphemism for "getting the client to accept what we want to deliver, rather than what they actually want".
>> No. 6945 Anonymous
25th September 2014
Thursday 6:43 pm
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>>6943

Calm down, mate. Here, have some Vimpto.
>> No. 6946 Anonymous
25th September 2014
Thursday 7:16 pm
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>>6943
This post didn't meet my expectations. Sage.
>> No. 6948 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 3:28 am
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>>6944

In my line of work the latter is just part of the delivery. What a client expects and what they actually need are often two very different things - it's why they're paying us in the first place.
>> No. 6949 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 3:39 am
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>>6948
There's a difference between "delivering what they need (but maybe don't expect)" and "delivering what you want, with little regard for their needs".
>> No. 6950 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 7:13 am
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>>6949

True. I can't imagine the latter would keep you in business for long though. Unless you're doing contracts for the government of course.
>> No. 6951 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 12:18 pm
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If BBC Stoke mention "Marvelous" thrice more today, mandem gonna get bled.
>> No. 6952 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 12:24 pm
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>>6950
You'd be surprised.
>> No. 6953 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 6:19 pm
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>>6950
You haven't managed their expectations effectively if they haven't realised, entirely of their own volition of course, that you know what's best for them and what they really needed.
>> No. 6955 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 2:24 pm
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We've got a temp in. Usually I'm empathetic to them as I'd hate to be in their shoes - the last one we had was made redundant in the caravan industry and he was temping while he tried to get back into it and I genuinely hope he's done well because he was a thoroughly decent chap - but with this one all I can conclude is that she's a temp because she hasn't been cut out for having a proper job as she's an utterly shite cretin.
>> No. 6956 Anonymous
30th September 2014
Tuesday 10:30 pm
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People trying to talk business while they're ringing from the drivers seat in a car and I'm at a desk. They can't think straight and I can't hear a fucking thing over the WRRRRRR of the motor and tarmac. If it's important pull over for a minute at a service station.
>> No. 6957 Anonymous
30th September 2014
Tuesday 10:34 pm
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>>6956
I make work calls from my car all the damn time. I feel I should defend it for making good business sense.
>> No. 6958 Anonymous
30th September 2014
Tuesday 10:36 pm
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>>6957
It's probably doable when you're in stop-start and you've got a decent headset thing but this one that I had today was completely comprehensible and it pertained to a fairly complex topic that can't really be discussed properly by the medium of voice alone anyway.
>> No. 6959 Anonymous
30th September 2014
Tuesday 10:36 pm
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>>6958
*incomprehensible
>> No. 6960 Anonymous
30th September 2014
Tuesday 11:00 pm
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>>6957
I've got to drive to a meeting tomorrow. Second one this year, seems like such a waste of time and effort, but I'm showing willing for a new customer. It'll no doubt be worthwhile, but I really don't enjoy it, and anyone calling me in the car will just get ignored...
I'm not really cut out for life as a road warrior, it'll be nice to get back into the lab, got work to do.
Sage for pathetic whining. Life could be a lot worse.
>> No. 6962 Anonymous
2nd October 2014
Thursday 10:42 am
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People who mark emails as high priority when they're nothing of the sort. There's one woman that marks every single email she sends as important. That should tell you all you need to know about her.
>> No. 6963 Anonymous
2nd October 2014
Thursday 1:09 pm
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>>6962

Carol?
>> No. 6966 Anonymous
3rd October 2014
Friday 11:57 am
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THE INTERNET IS DOWN.

I have no work I can get on with in any substantial way without having to go online, I didn't even realise how dependent we are on it.
>> No. 6975 Anonymous
4th October 2014
Saturday 8:38 pm
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>>6966
Welcome to 2014
>> No. 6976 Anonymous
4th October 2014
Saturday 11:28 pm
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Everything came to a standstill, because the printer/copying machine stopped working.
>> No. 6977 Anonymous
4th October 2014
Saturday 11:44 pm
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>>6976

This happens in my IT class all the time and I seem to be the only fucker who knows that printers need paper.
>> No. 6978 Anonymous
5th October 2014
Sunday 12:14 am
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>>6977
https://www.youtube.com/v/uRGljemfwUE
>> No. 6979 Anonymous
5th October 2014
Sunday 6:40 pm
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>>6977
It's a war of attrition; see who can last the longest without restocking the printer paper. If you give in then its your job forevermore.
>> No. 6980 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 10:33 am
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They're being a bit racist at work this morning because Eid means there's hardly any Paki rape cabs of doom taxis around at the minute.
>> No. 6981 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 11:12 am
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>>6980
Define "a bit".
>> No. 6982 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 12:08 pm
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>>6981
Just casual racism, nothing too offensive. Although I do believe 'just call it Paki Christmas, it's easier than trying to remember the name of all of them' was uttered.

This makes it the third place I've worked where I've heard casual racism, but the first where I haven't heard nig-nog used.
>> No. 6983 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 2:21 pm
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>>6982
Do you work in a shipyard/warehouse/coal mine by any chance?
>> No. 6984 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 2:59 pm
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>>6983
Office based, but in Yorkshire if that helps.
>> No. 6985 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 3:03 pm
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>>6981>>6982
You people are so fucking uptight.
>> No. 6986 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 3:28 pm
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>>6984

Are you a foreigner (by which I mean from anywhere but Yorkshire), or are you just a bit of a middle class poof?

>>6985

Cute isn't it?

I made friends with a lovely Polish couple when I was out this weekend, but the woman wouldn't stop going on about how much she hates homosexuals, it was all "Oh One Direction, they such fag-ots! They are really worse than gays!" and the suchlike. Me and another chap patiently explained how in this country our general viewpoint tends to me much more liberal than what she is probably used to, but I would have loved to see some of my woolier friend's faces as they try to reconcile someone being both an immigrant, and therefore a cultural paragon, but also a gaybasher, and therefore the devil.
>> No. 6987 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 4:02 pm
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>>6986
Moron receives moronic comments made by like minded moron as normal, exclusive front page shocker.
>> No. 6988 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 5:51 pm
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>>6985
Like I said, I didn't find it offensive. It's just a bit... dull. It's very rare that you'll encounter casual racism IRL from proper adults that is either creative or humorous. I mean, even the type of remark you hear in Primary School - like "what do you call a Paki who does DIY? Ahmed Mahshed" - is better than this.
>> No. 6989 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 5:59 pm
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>>6986

>Oh One Direction, they such fag-ots! They are really worse than gays!

Is that homophobic in itself? Someone could say that if they like gay people but find metrosexuals a bit disturbing.
>> No. 6990 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 6:05 pm
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>>6988

I know what you mean. I despise bigotry in and of itself (am I saying that right?), but also because it's an immediate 10/10 on the "this person's completely brain-dead" score chart.
>> No. 6991 Anonymous
6th October 2014
Monday 8:20 pm
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>>6990
Which correlates to identifying northerners pretty well too.
>> No. 6992 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 9:53 am
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>>6991
Sad to say but it's true. I work in a more academic setting, and of the well-to-do supervisors is from oop norf. Although she doesn't explicitly say racist things, you can see that she is an absolute dullard when it comes to other cultures/people.
>> No. 6993 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 11:59 am
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Standing in the lab waiting for iron to dissolve. Typing and on a phone is bloody hard in lab gloves.
>> No. 6994 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 12:06 pm
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>>6992
You need to understand Northern culture mate, apart from the obvious places like Bradford, most of these have been (and still are) predominantly white.

I grew up in Hull and it was exotic to have a Jehovah's Witness in the class, never mind someone of a different race. At secondary school (over 300 kids a year, there for 5 years) there was a Chinese lass in our year, a Chinese kid in a year above, a pair of black twins in the year below and I think there were 2/3 Chinese kids in Year 7 when I was in Year 11 and that was it. Even 10 years ago we didn't learn were most foreigners were from, we just called them all fucking Kosovans.

You're being a bit ignorant here; if people don't grow up exposed to other cultures then it's not surprising if they don't have a great awareness and understanding of them.
>> No. 6995 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 12:28 pm
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>>6988

>It's very rare that you'll encounter casual racism IRL from proper adults

But you shouldn't make the mistake of assuming that because they don't say it out loud, they don't feel it within.

One day lad, you might learn to understand that your average person holds a great deal of incredible prejudices. You probably do so yourself. That doesn't make those people ignorant or hateful, it's just a part of the flawed state that is human existence.

We are a product of our environment, and the northern environment is one that has (and you can't argue with this because it's a fact) been subject to a very rapid influx of different ethnic groups, over a very short span of time, with little to no attempt to educate people or take into consideration the effects of different cultural backgrounds when exposed to one another.

Fair enough YOU went to uni and you read the Guardian and have eaten samosas. Give yourself a pat on the back. But not everybody has.

The question you must ask, before bleating out such tiresome holier-than-thou morally superior kinds of sentiment, is whether these people are actually doing any harm? Do you think they actually hate brown folk? If you replace the subject, eskimos, with for example, Mancunians, how does the context change? It doesn't, not a great deal.

The moment people like you stop being so bloody over sensitive to people speaking their mind, is the moment we might actually have a chance of genuinely beating the proper kind of racism that exists.
>> No. 6997 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 12:50 pm
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>>6995

Humans are flawed, eh? What exactly is the perfect model from which humans deviate?
>> No. 6998 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 12:55 pm
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>>6997

The I one in your mind.
>> No. 6999 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 12:55 pm
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>>6995
>It's very rare that you'll encounter casual racism IRL from proper adults that is either creative or humorous.
>that is either creative or humorous.

In future it helps if you read the whole sentence instead of stopping halfway through so you can bleat on against a point that wasn't actually made.
>> No. 7000 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 2:12 pm
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>>6994
>You're being a bit ignorant here; if people don't grow up exposed to other cultures then it's not surprising if they don't have a great awareness and understanding of them.

You may be onto something here, if it only were relevant to society 30-40 years ago. With the amount of foreign electronic entertainment we consume, the foreign cuisine, cheap holidays, imports, and so on, it makes it very difficult not to be aware of the fact that there are other people on this planet besides you and your myopic views.

I don't expect someone to have encyclopaedic knowledge of other cultures, or be some intrepid explorer or whatever, just a basic level where you appreciate the differences - at this point you do seem like a feckless dullard that chooses not to at least be curious.

This is what gets me I suppose, just wilful ignorance and just sticking to what is safe - then having the cheek to make fun of / belittle those from abroad. It's pathetic and embarrassing.


_____
Obviously all of this is directed at these so called northerners, not specifically you, in case steam is ejecting from either ear....
>> No. 7001 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 3:07 pm
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>>7000
You're bang on correct, poortherner bigots might like to pretend they're 'controversial' and 'honest' but the reality is that it's just plain fucking boring drivel propagated by those with nothing creative or interesting going on between their ears.
>> No. 7002 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 3:23 pm
7002 spacer
>>7000

>This is what gets me I suppose, just wilful ignorance and just sticking to what is safe

That. It's just a sad lack of curiosity. Living in Leeds, I knew loads of people who had no idea why the asians went mental twice a year, bellowing "Eid Mubarak!" and waving flags out of car windows. None of them had any eskimo friends, none of them could be bothered asking a shopkeeper or a cabbie what it was all about. They were perfectly content to not know what all the rowdy p*kis were getting all worked up about.

People bang on about "integration", when they really mean "abandoning your culture and acting just like us". They project that mindset onto other people, hence the persistent and completely unfounded belief that eskimos and lefties want to ban christmas. Real integration cuts both ways, it's about making a tiny bit of effort to understand and empathise with your neighbours. The roots of racism in this country aren't any sort of virulent hatred, just a lazy, narrow-minded parochialism that slowly turns into real antipathy via alienation.

That little bit of curiosity makes all the difference. Plucking up the courage to spark up a conversation at a bus stop, to try the sweets at Bobby's or Anand's, to go for a night out at the West Indian Centre. You make that little step and you're invariably met with tremendous warmth and generosity from people who are genuinely touched that you're interested in their lives. As I see it, racism in Britain is just a symptom of a more pervasive narrow-mindedness towards new ideas and experiences. Scousers who had never been to Manchester, Mancs who had never been to Liverpool, people who fly out to Spain and spend two weeks eating chips and watching Sky Sports in Winston's Pub.

I think I'd be more generous if I was some soft southern liberal, but I grew up with the ugly side of that mindset. The p*ki bashings and the queer bashings and the goth bashings, trying to get an education in a school that resembled a low-security borstal, that constant sickening fear that the wrong haircut or the wrong kind of shoes could make you a pariah. I understand all of the arguments about Thatcher and deindustrialisation and immigration, but I just don't think that gives you a license to act like a cunt. I left, I'm not going back, I slightly look down my nose at people who didn't do likewise, and I'm not really apologetic about any of it.
>> No. 7003 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 3:31 pm
7003 spacer
>>6994

I just remembered there was this one lad in my CofE school who didn't have to sit through the assembly. I was always desperately curious why but afraid to ask him.
>> No. 7004 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 3:37 pm
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>>6995

They say you can see a person's true colours when they're drunk. You can see them on Facebook too. I know this one guy and he seems like the nicest guy but every day his Facebook is about what the naughty eskimos are doing and he reblogs every racist urban myth going. I just marvel at the trainwreckyness of it.

(Making up words isn't a bannable offence I hope.)
>> No. 7005 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 3:55 pm
7005 spacer
>>7004
I had a mate just like this - would shit his pants if someone yelled at him in passing, or shake when there was a group of yobs. Yet behind the screen he was a misogynistic / misanthropic racist try-hard, essentially a funchan /pol/ poster-boy.

I don't speak to him anymore, it was exceptionally boring listening to him rant about jews and how their "cultural marxism" is ruining Europe. He never travelled, had no foreign friends and was a generally boring individual. He loved anime and manga though, something about that made me chuckle a bit.
>> No. 7006 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:00 pm
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Personally I take no interest in whatever these goings on are because I don't live in anywhere with a particularly high number of non-white-Britons. I don't feel any sort of need or want to learn much about the Other, even now living in Brighton the nearest thing is the gay parade, which I couldn't give a toss about aside from it being a nice atmosphere on parade night and you can go and get wankered on Old Steine.
>> No. 7007 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:04 pm
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>>7006
>'the other'

The thing is, dulllad, these people aren't an 'Other' for a functioning member of society. We don't immediately mark out someone as radically different just because they like beefy loads in the arse or they have Christmas earlier than anglo-saxons.
>> No. 7008 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:07 pm
7008 spacer
>>7007
I do, once upon a time it was because people put them in a different category of person, these days it's because they put themselves in a different category of person.

Gay pride parades. Fucking hell.

At my uni we have a 'Black room'. It's for blacks.

I'll take a photo when I'm on campus. It's a 'black something or other' anyway. It's next to the islamic centre and the LGBT thing.
>> No. 7009 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:10 pm
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>>7008
The point of a pride parade is so that bumders can get each other to stop being ashamed of who they are. It's not, as your tabloid of choice likes to tell you, 'because they want to be special!'. There is actually some kind of point behind it.
Presumably you've only just begun at uni, so there's room for your tiny mind to get broadened a little. I remember being a venomous, ignorant little cunt about these kinds of things too.
>> No. 7010 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:13 pm
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>>7009
What suggests to you that I'm a venomous, ignorant little cunt? You suggest to me that you're a venomous, ignorant cunt by failing to question the reasons why and simply get fucked off that people don't adhere to your agenda. I couldn't give a toss what the tabloids say, frankly.
>> No. 7011 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:17 pm
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>>7010
>What suggests to you that I'm a venomous, ignorant little cunt?

Your suggestions that gay pride parades etc are outrageous and that 'gay people only bring it on themselves!'.

>your agenda
Are you the /pol/lad the other anon mentioned just now?
>> No. 7012 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:19 pm
7012 spacer
>>7011
Not him, but

>Are you the /pol/lad the other anon mentioned just now?

Fuck I hope not, I'll have a really awkward visit the next time I go back home...
>> No. 7013 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:31 pm
7013 spacer
>>7011
>Your suggestions that gay pride parades etc are outrageous
Where did I say that? I do think they're a bit silly.

>'gay people only bring it on themselves!'.
Where did I say that? They have helped to marginalise themselves by becoming the special things they so want to be, it shouldn't be that way, I don't accept that they do this crap because they want to be 'accepted' because they are on the whole. There's no parades for men with tiny cocks.
>> No. 7014 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:33 pm
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>>7011
Also

>Are you the /pol/lad the other anon mentioned just now?

You keep displaying how keen you are to categorise people despite your protestations.
>> No. 7015 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:34 pm
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>>7013
>Where did I say that? I do think they're a bit silly.
"Gay pride parades. Fucking hell."

>I don't accept that they do this crap because they want to be 'accepted' because they are on the whole
er yeah pal if you say so. Clearly the reason they do it is because they want to annoy you with their agenda. After all, the world is all about you.
>> No. 7016 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:38 pm
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>>7015
You're as blind as the evil racist nazi bigots you despise.
>> No. 7017 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:43 pm
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>>7016
Why do stupid cunts like you try so hard to inject emotion into things? 'Despise'. Like anyone fucking says that in real life.
>> No. 7018 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:47 pm
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>>7017
Why do stupid cunts like you try so hard to inject emotion into things? 'Outrageous'. Like anyone fucking says that in real life.
>> No. 7019 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 4:51 pm
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Lads.
>> No. 7020 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 5:11 pm
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>>7018
>>7017

I don't know about you m8ys but I make an effort to converse with people whose vocabulary isn't limited to single syllables and grunts.
>> No. 7021 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 5:20 pm
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>>7020
Intelligent people use fewer words than dullards, lad.
>> No. 7022 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 5:22 pm
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>>7021
Thanks for the reminder to reread Politics and the English Language.
>> No. 7023 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 6:17 pm
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>>7006

M7 are you actually trying to say Brighton and Hove is not massively full of foreigners? I loved the fact it was. Do you actually leave your bedsit?

Sussex had, about ten years ago, 35% foreign students. For the life of me I cannot see this having gone down. Or are you going to the ex-Poly?

Sage checked, but fuck me, you really don't know the city you are talking about. And claim to live in...
>> No. 7024 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 6:31 pm
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>>7000
>>7001
>>7002

>everyone from the north is awful because they stereotype people based on where they're from

Oh my God listen to yourselves you gang of vacuous cunts.
>> No. 7025 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 6:37 pm
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>>7024
Your tea is getting cold fuck off.
>> No. 7026 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 6:41 pm
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>>7025

Classic banter.
>> No. 7027 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 6:43 pm
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>>7024
>Oh no! A group of people share a common opinion, better c-call them c-cunts! Yes that will do.

Fuck off mate, you're duller than Ed Milliband filling tax returns.
>> No. 7028 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 6:49 pm
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>>7024

https://www.youtube.com/v/oePXMqZ2nBc
>> No. 7029 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 6:49 pm
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>>7027

That wasn't the point.
>> No. 7030 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 7:12 pm
7030 spacer
The speling and grammer in this thread is atrocious.
>> No. 7031 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:02 pm
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>>7024
One moment it's 'wooh them soft sovven poofs cant stand any crack about pakis', the next it's "stop bullying us, we never done nothing wrong!"

If you're going to try to dish out some tasty comments you can at least be ready for some return fire. Especially since I'm paying for your fucking dole money.
>> No. 7032 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:06 pm
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>>7031

Again, that wasn't the point I was making.
>> No. 7033 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:12 pm
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>>7032>>7029
Enlighten us then.
>> No. 7034 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:13 pm
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>>7032
Yeah right m8 you're too proper clever for the likes of me, I haen't been learnt nowt.
>> No. 7035 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:14 pm
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>>7033

You're stereotyping northerners because of where they're from while talking about how terrible they are for doing the same.

They don't actually do that, just so you know, but for the sake of argument we can assume it's true.
>> No. 7036 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:21 pm
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>>7035

I didn't see anyone talking about stereotyping. The issues I saw discussed were those of alienation, de-facto segregation and ignorance. Maybe I was reading another thread.

Also, to make a trivially obvious point, it is perfectly reasonable to discuss broad social trends whilst also acknowledging that the individuals within that society are in fact individuals.
>> No. 7037 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:27 pm
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>>7036

I'm on my phone so can't quote all the examples but the phrase wilful ignorance was used about northerners as a whole, as well as the words poorthener bigots. I'm sure an intelligent discussion is taking place about the rate of racism in the north, which is admittedly higher than in the south, but those posts I quoted were clearly northernerist.
>> No. 7038 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:36 pm
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>>7037
Oh boo hoo, as the previous poster said - it's alright to be rough and tough with words when it comes to dem fookin pakis, but a bit of discussion suddenly makes a few culturally upstanding norvernerz upset. Get over yourself mate, I'll acknowledge not everyone is like that, obviously, but these traits hold true in a lot of examples - some of which were mentioned in this very thread.
>> No. 7039 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:38 pm
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>>7038

My point is that you're a hypocrite. I also never said that racism is fine.
>> No. 7040 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:41 pm
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>>7037>>7039
right yeah so comments about 'Pakis' are fine - and southerners are just too sensitive for their own good! - but 'northernism' is an awful crime which is worth getting into a strop over.

And you call other people hypocrites. Good grief.
>> No. 7041 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:45 pm
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>>7040

Please point out where I said that.
>> No. 7042 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:46 pm
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>>7041
It's a sentiment built up over a series of posts, I can't be fucked to go back through this thread and point them out because I'm watching The Shield and midway through a pint of spitfire.
>> No. 7043 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 8:58 pm
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>>7002

I was going to make a post about my own anecdotal experience growing up with a lifetime full of "I'm not racist, but...", now having read your post I don't feel the need to. Thanks for taking the time to post this.

>The roots of racism in this country aren't any sort of virulent hatred, just a lazy, narrow-minded parochialism that slowly turns into real antipathy via alienation.

This phrasing in particular I'm going to shamelessly steal when I feel the need to express it.
>> No. 7044 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 9:26 pm
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>>7002

I agree wholeheartedly, glad my post triggered such a well thought out response.
>> No. 7045 Anonymous
7th October 2014
Tuesday 9:47 pm
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>>7023
Certainly not in my area, and not by design all my m8s are white British. Or at least, British, irish or of Italian descent. I'm not a shut in either, as much as you'd hope I was.
>> No. 7046 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 8:21 am
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>>7045

Do you live in Moulescombe, lad?

Sge checked for not remembering whether that shitehole has two "o"s or three.
>> No. 7047 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 1:16 pm
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>>7000
>You may be onto something here, if it only were relevant to society 30-40 years ago. With the amount of foreign electronic entertainment we consume, the foreign cuisine, cheap holidays, imports, and so on, it makes it very difficult not to be aware of the fact that there are other people on this planet besides you and your myopic views.

I don't entirely agree with this. What foreign entertainment has been widely consumed, especially 3-4 decades ago, other than Yank fodder? Also, most of the holidays, traditionally at least, are to places like the Mediterranean rather than Poland/Somewhere smelly and brown, i.e. whom most of the grievances seem to be about.

I'd say you're greatly underestimating the impact of the news media on shaping people's opinions; if most of what you read about immigrants is that they're cunts who we'll scapegoat for all the nation's wrongs then there's bound to be confirmation bias when - continuing in the Hull vein - there's a sudden influx of them into a city that was 99.9% white and some areas become objectively worse because a lot of the immigrants are transient so there's a surge in large family homes being converted into flats and in the space of a few years the whole street looks run down. Although, having said that it's not like Hull City Council don't have form for doing that themselves.
>> No. 7048 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 3:48 pm
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>>7046
Alas.

But I have lived elsewhere before though, on Lewes Road and in Hollingdean.
>> No. 7049 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 4:52 pm
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gangnam-style-feature[1].jpg
704970497049
>>7047>
>I don't entirely agree with this. What foreign entertainment has been widely consumed, especially 3-4 decades ago, other than Yank fodder?
This is a ridiculous request, because no one can document all of it, but as a highly condensed list:

Slumdog Millionaire (set and filmed in India)
Life of Pi (the same)
Mother fucking Gangam Style

If you'd actually look around you'd find that a fuck ton of non-western culture is prolific in this country, it just passes you by like ships in the night. The vast majority of popular music in this country is derived from extra-western traditions also.
>> No. 7050 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 6:04 pm
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>>7047
>Also, most of the holidays, traditionally at least

Traditional to whom? It's usually dolescum that go in droves and sit in their insular British pubs away from any sort foreign influence. Sickening in itself.

What I was alluding to, is of course the massive change in the way that middle class can go anywhere now, and they do, especially to Poland and "brown smelly places".

I don't expect some chavvy northerner not to be racist, the whole allusion in this thread is the annoyance of casual racism still being witnessed in regular work places, filled with regular, white-collar folk, for no real reason other than the vacuous nature of their imagination.
>> No. 7051 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 6:25 pm
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>>7049
So because Gangnam Style came out a year or two ago and middle-aged women like to annoy everyone by getting drunk and dancing to it it's going to shatter their worldview, cause an awakening and change the way they look at other cultures and races? Alright, mate. You need to accept that other people, especially those older than you, have different experiences to you and this shapes the way they look at things instead of being narrow-minded and assuming the way you've grown up in the last 10 years or so should apply to everyone.

>>7050
80% of visits abroad are to Europe and the majority of those are to France and Spain. Try harder, lad, instead of trying to shoehorn class into this.
>> No. 7052 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 6:34 pm
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>>7048

I fucking knew it. Does the initials of your road begin with a D? I fucking know what house you are in.

Pity I can't come round and put your fucking windows in mate.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 7053 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 7:35 pm
7053 spacer
>>7052
No, it doesn't, now fuck off.
>> No. 7054 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 7:44 pm
7054 spacer
>>7049
>>7049
Nothing you posted has anything to do with foreign culture in articular. Gangnam style was ironic.
>> No. 7056 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 7:57 pm
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>>7052

To be fair Modlad, the ban reason made me chuckle. And was perfectly valid. "Does" is only there because I deleted half the sentence to protect a bit more of >>7053's privacy. But a single glazed, in this day and age? Shoking. I'd have offered to pop round and put 'em in for 'im if I still lived near 'is gaff.

Backdoor it will be then.
>> No. 7057 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 7:58 pm
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>>7054
Yeah a Korean-language song performed by Koreans in Korea. What the fuck has that got to do with foreign culture eh.
>> No. 7058 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 8:04 pm
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>>7057
It's no different to eating garlic and claiming you're french, it was popular because it's them silly Asians doing silly Asian things.

>>7056
Mate I don't live there, can't even name a road here beginning with D.
>> No. 7059 Anonymous
8th October 2014
Wednesday 8:10 pm
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>>7058
>It's no different to eating garlic and claiming you're french

I must be being baited here, no fucking way are you for real.
>> No. 7060 Anonymous
9th October 2014
Thursday 1:14 am
7060 spacer
So. Workplaces annoyances eh?
>> No. 7061 Anonymous
9th October 2014
Thursday 11:59 am
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ASDA FM (FM) BRINGING YOU THE BEST IN NEW MUSIC WHILE YOU SHOP [WHOOSH] {SAMPLE 1} {SAMPLE 2} {SAMPLE 3} ASDA FM [SMASH]

YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE SWEET SOUND OF ASDA FM.... LIVE



IT'S NOT LIVE AND THE SHOP'S SHUT TWO DAYS A WEEK WHEN I WORK.

Supermarket work!! (It's £9 an hour so I shouldn't complain really)
>> No. 7062 Anonymous
9th October 2014
Thursday 1:21 pm
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>>7061
I went to Sainsburys on my lunch break (keeping things on topic) and some cunts had eaten all of the spinach and pine nut pasta and swiped all of the feta cheese from the Greek salad. Then I went to the self serve checkout and there was a woman who was buying shitloads, didn't bag any of it up while scanning and decided to do it all at the end and take fucking ages.

Also, EVERYONE WITH THEIR COLD GERMS NEEDS TO FUCK RIGHT OFF.
>> No. 7095 Anonymous
15th October 2014
Wednesday 7:38 pm
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>>6994
Southy?
>> No. 7096 Anonymous
15th October 2014
Wednesday 11:30 pm
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Wankers not turning up to meetings, claiming ignorance of them being informed about the meeting. This was even more insufferable since they wouldn't answer their fucking phone a good half an hour before the meeting to confirm something else with them. I was going to have a half day Friday, but now I can't because I had to reschedule before I'm off next week.
>> No. 7097 Anonymous
15th October 2014
Wednesday 11:41 pm
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Boring recycled student hipster cunts protesting in Sainsburys.
>> No. 7098 Anonymous
15th October 2014
Wednesday 11:53 pm
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>>7097
What were they protesting about?
>> No. 7099 Anonymous
15th October 2014
Wednesday 11:57 pm
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>>7096
Wankers inviting me to meetings I clearly don't need to be in, then getting arsy when I choose to use my work time productively rather than wasting it in said meeting.
>> No. 7100 Anonymous
15th October 2014
Wednesday 11:59 pm
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>>7098
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/oct/15/sainsburys-brighton-kiss-in-protesters-lesbian-couple
>> No. 7101 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 12:12 am
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>>7099
It's actually quite an important meeting, since I am on holiday from Friday and the other person is supposed to be doing my job whilst I'm away. So they need to know what they are supposed to be doing during this time.

Whilst I am at it I will whinge about the heating being so bloody high in the office, it's no wonder that there are so many people who are ill. The place is a fucking breeding ground for germs.
>> No. 7102 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 7:00 am
7102 spacer
>>7099
>use my work time productively

Clearly you don't understand the point of having a job or have nobody to delegate to.

If I'm productive then they keep giving me more work, at one point I was expected to do the work of nearly 3 people and it was awful. You're only meant to give the appearance of being a good worker. The only people I know are the ones who seem to want to do shitloads of work are constantly worried about losing their job, usually with no justification for this, so they take on loads of work/roles to try and make themselves irreplaceable enough that their employer would be in trouble if they left.

We've got a project on at work and one of the women I work with, who is the same level as me but has been at our company far longer, is in a slightly senior position in it (but is no means my supervisor or anything like that) and she's getting on my tits because she keeps checking up on me (even though she has no reason to, the actual director leading this is chuffed with what I've done so far and she does it in a weird way that I think is meant to pressure rather than reassure) and saying shite like "thanks for today" when I'm leaving. I think the (non-existant) power has gone to her head.
>> No. 7103 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 7:54 am
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>>7102
I know exactly what you mean, I will actively do my best to stay out of the office by visiting the diffetent sites, or running about doing petty errands instead of doing actual work. I was praised during my last review for my hands on working style. It's either that or I spend an inordinate amount of time in the bogs browsing the nets on my phone.
>> No. 7104 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 9:00 am
7104 spacer
>>7102

I worked with a guy who would do this constantly. He was on the bottom rung, but he'd got the idea that by acting like a manger he'd suddenly be promoted. Instead everyone got pissed off at him for telling them what to do and he quickly ended up assigned to all the worst possible tasks. I was always in awe of how condescending he was towards his superiors. He also ended every sentence with "yeah?"

He also thought the number five was some sort of conspiracy. "why do you think the government tells you to eat five fruit or vegetables a day yeah?" was a direct quote from him. He was fired not long after for not showing up for a week, then saying it was because his three year old son nearly died, and he was in the hospital with him, but was unable to provide any evidence of such.
>> No. 7105 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 10:29 am
7105 spacer
>>7104
Every work place has such mentanloids. My gf works with this utterly incompetent whale that cant seem to 1) shower and groom properly 2) write papers 3) use equipment she claims she's can.

There is apparently an enormous amount of complaints against her, over her childish behaviour, incompetence, rudeness, and bullying. My gf is a pretty stoic and thick skinned individual - but I've seen her in tears after work when she describes what this woman said/did. Naturally I got annoyed, but I can't really do anything. My gf says that she must have some kind of juicy dirt on her bosses, because not only do they do anything about these ever-increasing complaints, they gave her a permanent contract.

As a part result of this, my gf has found a new job really far away - she hasn't moved yet, but it has put a big question on our relationship. So we've decided to breakup as a result - long distance won't work as we've only been seeing each other for 6 months, and each of us had horrible experiences with LD. Sorry for the extra bit, but yeah - incompetent cunts, they are more far reaching that you think.
>> No. 7106 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 1:17 pm
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One of the fellas I work with is nicknamed Chicken Little because he's a constant source of doom and gloom. Any little thing and he'll proclaim the sky is falling and every time he gets it into his head there's going to be cuts because he misconstrues some piece of information he starts working feverishly. Yet the rest of the time he's terrible for doing next fuck all.
>> No. 7107 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 3:08 pm
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>>7102
>The only people I know are the ones who seem to want to do shitloads of work are constantly worried about losing their job, usually with no justification for this, so they take on loads of work/roles to try and make themselves irreplaceable enough that their employer would be in trouble if they left.

To add to this (posting from bogs at work) I have known people who do this be passed over for promotion because they've made themselves too indispensable in their current role/management's realised they can pile more and more work onto them and it's more cost effective and less effort/time consuming keeping them in this role than promoting them and trying to replace them. If you work too hard then your reward is that they'll see how much work they can feasibly get you to do. People like this also seem to get a kick out of everything falling to shit if they have a fortnight off, which reinforces how much they're needed because they've taken it upon themselves to be involved in everything.
>> No. 7108 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 4:41 pm
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I'm a department head, with 36 people underneath me split over 14 seperate sites. I still don't understand why the previous department head quit because of stress, the job is a doddle for the most part. The fact I've spent far too much time on here today is proof of that. I'm just clock watching at this point waiting for 5 so I can fuck off home. Most of the people who are working under me can work on their own autonomously, unless something goes completely tits up.
>> No. 7109 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 4:59 pm
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>>7108

Don't suppose you need an assistant?
>> No. 7110 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 5:19 pm
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Out of curiosity, to the people who posted above, what are your jobs?
>> No. 7111 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 6:34 pm
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>>7104
>He also thought the number five was some sort of conspiracy. "why do you think the government tells you to eat five fruit or vegetables a day yeah?"
What? As in the number itself?

>>7108
People generally misunderstand stress.
Being under pressure is something you have no control over, however being stressed is not something that happens to you, it's how you respond to things that are happening to you. Some people get stressed at the drop of a hat, other people seemingly go out of their way to find reasons to get stressed.

>>7103
Is that you, Andy?
>> No. 7113 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 8:08 pm
7113 spacer
>>7111
The thing is that he originally actually beat me to the job,but 9 months later he quit and the company phoned me up and asked me if I still wanted the job. The thing is that he was a manager at a similar job so I am baffled as to why he seemingly struggled in the position. Whereas I was being a bit of a chancer where I applied for it since previously I had only really supervised a small gang of 5 lads, with me chipping in with the work.
>> No. 7114 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 8:11 pm
7114 spacer
>>7113
>I am baffled as to why he seemingly struggled in the position

I think a lot of it is personality rather than ability. It's not uncommon for someone not to fit in with the culture of different workplaces.
>> No. 7115 Anonymous
16th October 2014
Thursday 10:02 pm
7115 spacer
>>7114
That is a good point, since when I had the interview the company had not long been in part of a merger. The office still is literally split in two, one half being the old guard from the office with the other half being people from the other company's offices. It took me a couple of months to acclimatise myself to company protocol and my co-workers.
>> No. 7116 Anonymous
17th October 2014
Friday 10:13 am
7116 spacer
>>7111

It was something about "the rule of fives". I think he was trying to say the number five somehow subdues the masses, like the number has a suppressive effect on the human brain. As curious as I was, we were very busy when he was talking about this shit so I just chose to openly mock him so he'd shut up and do some work. If we'd been slow I'd have encouraged a full manifesto out of him.
>> No. 7170 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 12:45 pm
7170 spacer
Hot off the presses:

Wedding/Birthday/Get Well card signings and the mass emails that accompany them. Cunt the fuck off.

I work in a university with many departments and the sort, and for some reason, there is this presumptuous culture of spamming one another with these sorts of shitty emails. It's enraging to know that some cunt from a department that I've never even heard of mass-sends an email with requests to sign another cunts card because they're getting married or have shat out another human.

Leave me the fuck alone!!
>> No. 7171 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 12:57 pm
7171 spacer
>>7170
Some people who I'd never previously spoken to got quite annoyed with me when I didn't want to sign the birthday card of one of them whose name I didn't know. People are weird.
>> No. 7172 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 1:25 pm
7172 spacer
>>7170

Could you not just counter mass email them saying "I had no idea the University even had a 'Wongle Bat Entrapment Specialist', let alone that their deputy was getting a new haircut, please leave me alone"? Or would that start a running battle of email nonsense?
>> No. 7173 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 2:18 pm
7173 spacer
>>7172
That would just result in a Reply-Allpocalypse. I like it. Do it, unilad.
>> No. 7174 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 3:27 pm
7174 spacer
>>7170
My work's the opposite.

No Christmas cards to each other. No secret Santa. Only big birthdays result in a gift, which was a bit awkward earlier this year when we got someone a present for their 50th and it turned out that it was someone else's birthday (in the time between giving out the present to him and his actual birthday) and none us were aware of this.

At the last place I worked it was a birthday present of at least £30, Christmas presents off the senior staff and a secret Santa of at least a tenner.
>> No. 7175 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 4:47 pm
7175 spacer
>>7172>>7173
Did it, short and sweet.

Hi XXX,

I’m not sure if you are aware, but we get a high volume of emails on a daily basis, please can you refer personal items to close colleagues and friends only.

Thanks

YYY


Now we sit back and wait for the awkward response, if any.
>> No. 7176 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 4:54 pm
7176 spacer
>>7175

I'd be straight to HR with that shit, you passive aggressive psycho.
>> No. 7177 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 5:17 pm
7177 spacer
>>7176

That's not a very nice joke to play.
>> No. 7178 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 5:19 pm
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goodlordwhatsortofuniversityisthis.png
717871787178
>>7176
This ought to be grounds for a citizen's arrest if not summary execution.
>> No. 7179 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 5:41 pm
7179 spacer
>>7178>>7176
Calm down, I'm having a right chuckle now.
>> No. 7180 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 5:56 pm
7180 spacer
>>7176
>I'd be straight to HR with that shit

Is there such a thing as a useful person working in HR?
>> No. 7182 Anonymous
23rd October 2014
Thursday 6:00 pm
7182 spacer
>>7180

The IT technician fixing their computers?
>> No. 7194 Anonymous
24th October 2014
Friday 6:07 pm
7194 spacer
>>7180
When you're trying to take advantage of their inflexibility they can be unwittingly useful.
>> No. 7226 Anonymous
27th October 2014
Monday 9:32 pm
7226 spacer
I was trying to havt a lie in this morning and I was wojen up by someone at work phoning me. Apparently the fact that I have a fortnight off work wasn't told to one of my colleagues. So I end up spending 20 minutes having to explain something to him which he apparently couldn't do without my permission. I wouldn't have minded too much, apart from the following 3 more calls for bits of information.
>> No. 7227 Anonymous
27th October 2014
Monday 10:01 pm
7227 spacer
>>7226
>I wouldn't have minded too much, apart from the following 3 more calls for bits of information.

Should have explained it properly first time then, mate.
>> No. 7228 Anonymous
27th October 2014
Monday 10:06 pm
7228 spacer
>>7227
I'm not sure what more there was for him to explain beyond FUCK OFF I'M ON LEAVE YOU CUNT, or words to that effect.
>> No. 7230 Anonymous
27th October 2014
Monday 10:44 pm
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>>7103

Man I would love your job. What do you do?
>> No. 7232 Anonymous
27th October 2014
Monday 11:20 pm
7232 spacer
I do some graphics design on the side, and it's a lot of fun. Especially if the project calls for a bit of creativity with constraint.

Recently my boss asked if I can design the logo of our group, I jumped at the idea as he hired professionals and they didn't cut the mustard. He liked my work, and I thought it would be a great way of enhancing my portfolio.

However, after designing something I feel looks good - I get reamed with a bunch of utterly stupid and myopic suggestions by his assistants and secretaries.

They can't quite get why certain shapes look good, or why certain colours don't fit on a white background. I'm too polite to tell them to fuck off, but they are doing my head in. So far, I've given off an air of superiority and just said that I won't make any fundamental changes. It might be a bit arrogant, but I can't stand office plankton commenting on work they have no clue about.
>> No. 7237 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 8:01 am
7237 spacer
>>7232
>I can't stand office plankton commenting on work they have no clue about

You can't really blame them if the professionals got it wrong - it's one of those things where a layman will know whether something looks good or shite. You can dress it up with a grandiose job title, giving an airy fairy explanation of what you've done in your design but the reality is that you don't need experience, qualifications or whatever else feeds your ego to be able to say that a design is shite.
>> No. 7238 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 8:39 am
7238 spacer
>>7232
It's stories like this, and indeed the rest of http://clientsfromhell.net/ that has solidified my decision to never enter the creative industries, despite everyone and his mum going "oh but Anon you're so creative why don't you try getting paid for your x/y/z".

Because then I'd have to deal with more cunts that don't always even pay you. I did wardrobe on a video shoot for a friend the other day as a favour and finding out what all the freelance people there were getting paid made me feel angry for them.
>> No. 7240 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 9:22 am
7240 spacer
>>7237

I know, but my boss - is quite a sound chap. He is away often so he leaves this sort of side-business to his idiot minions. And they are undoubtedly some of the most useless people I've worked with. Not to say they are cunts or anything - just you know, have absolutely zero expertise in a certain field. If I had some kind of need to know how to send a fax or print on exotic paper, then they'd be the first to know.

>>7238
The thing as well is that a lot of people that you're working for haven't the foggiest notion of what it takes to have this creativity and use it accordingly. For graphics design, it's just "drawing a picture in your free time", these are the same sort of utter morons that pant and gasp at contemporary/modern/abstract art and whine how it's not art. There is no justice really - it's just a exceedingly steep learning curve, and you need to be lucky to get your break. Thats why there are thousands of websites that do portfolio hosting and millions of people like myself with material to say "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT HOW GOOD I AM!!".

I got my big break when the management board mentioned how one of my previous logos (done on a weekend with pedestrian knowledge of Illustrator) - was excellent. My boss went bananas, and despite his initial scepticism he personally congratulated me, something that was unseen in my workplace. Next was designing the cover of one of my friend's books, that too, was a hit - and only after the initial scepticism, do people start to adopt and take on board whats made.
>> No. 7241 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 10:18 am
7241 spacer
>>7240
>that pant and gasp at contemporary/modern/abstract art and whine how it's not art.

Let's not kid ourselves here, lad. A lot of this is an Emperor's New Clothes situation where snake oil salesmen self publicists are trying to fleece idiots for as much money as possible.
>> No. 7242 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 10:52 am
7242 spacer
>>7241

m8, no one is forcing you to buy a giant painted red square. Everything has it's place, and in many instances you can view such pieces for free.

I went to the Amsterdam Photography gallery, and 1/3 of the work was trash in my opinion. I was very lucky to see some Larry Clark photography, which is renowned to be extremely graphic and raw - that resonated with me, while it may seem like degenerate filth for many.

To each his own.

I remember seeing a very good post on reddit explaining the reasoning of this modern abstract movement. It's not so much of making a pretty picture, or a nice sculpture, its the reasoning why behind it - if you can look at the piece and fill in the story yourself and wrap yourself in the reasoning the artist went through, and plausible meaning, then there you go, you're standing before art.

A lot of people get angry at this - they just don't get it. Let yourself go in the moment blud, you stand before a giant blue square, just let your mind day dream and wonder about things that are blue for instance. Not everything has to have some kind of rationality behind it.
>> No. 7244 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 11:31 am
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>>7241
To compound it, you have the subset of that group that goes to great lengths to insist that they're not part of it.
>> No. 7250 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 3:32 pm
7250 spacer
For designlad:
http://www.27bslash6.com/brochure.html
David Thorne is a cunt, but occasionally a funny one.

>>7242
>Everything has it's place
That apostrophe doesn't.
>> No. 7253 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 6:11 pm
7253 spacer
>>7250
>That apostrophe doesn't.

Mate, it's some high-end avant-garde concept art that's clearly on another level to you. It has it's place.
>> No. 7260 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 9:27 pm
7260 spacer
At work today was one person with a viral infection, one person with a suspected nose infection and someone else who spent most of the day sneezing.

If they decide to "bravely soldier on" tomorrow I'm going to get a hazmat suit.
>> No. 7262 Anonymous
28th October 2014
Tuesday 11:17 pm
7262 spacer
>>7260
Oh fuck that for a game of soldiers. It's usually the same cunts who will "feel a bit unwell" after a night out pubbing but feel all "needs must" when they are actually sick. Go fucking back to bed, no one wants to hear you whine about how you really shouldn't be here.
>> No. 7264 Anonymous
29th October 2014
Wednesday 7:07 am
7264 spacer
>>7262
The worst thing is that two of them are allowed to work of from home, so they didn't even need to come in and infect everyone - one of them did this on Monday but chose not to yesterday because it's half-term and their kids are annoying them.
>> No. 7265 Anonymous
29th October 2014
Wednesday 11:27 am
7265 spacer
>>7104

I was talking to someone at work who remembered this blokes reasoning for the five a day thing.

The government is telling us to eat five fruit or veg a day to get us used to praying five times a day. Muslamic state innit.
>> No. 7266 Anonymous
29th October 2014
Wednesday 6:11 pm
7266 spacer
I've been drafted into a project where it seems everyone has been begrudgingly forced into it. I've ended up as the middleman between analysts writing reports and the seniors who have to check and sign off the reports.

I'm assuming it's because they're taking the piss for being forced into it or that they want to do the bare minimum so are passing the buck where possible/are referring things to me for the sake of it but at least half of what they're sending to me is This document is in rich text and it needs to be in word. This document doesn't have a contents table and it needs one inserting below the contents title. The name of this document (which nobody external will know about) isn't to my personal taste, neither is the layout of some of the pages. Can you wipe my arse for me? I think in every instance it'd take them far longer to refer it to me than it would for the three or four clicks needed to amend the report, but they just want to pass it on so it's someone else's problem to deal with.
>> No. 7267 Anonymous
29th October 2014
Wednesday 9:21 pm
7267 spacer
>>7265
What a nutcase.

Tell us more, if you remember. I always enjoy numerology and associated silliness.
>> No. 7268 Anonymous
29th October 2014
Wednesday 10:07 pm
7268 spacer
>>7267

It's now 7 a day IIRC.
>> No. 7270 Anonymous
31st October 2014
Friday 9:55 am
7270 spacer
>>7268
Has the Union of Imams unanimously decided on upping muslamic prayer quotas or something?
>> No. 7280 Anonymous
5th November 2014
Wednesday 4:35 pm
7280 spacer
The VOIP system at work was down for half the day and for the rest of the day everyone's internal communications was out of whack. I've not had such a quiet day in ages. It does go to show how lazy a lot of the people I work with are when they can't be arsed to go up or down a floor to see someone.
>> No. 7281 Anonymous
5th November 2014
Wednesday 5:53 pm
7281 spacer
>>7280
It's not laziness. They realise that if they get up off their chair to go see someone, other people may pick up on this and start coming to your own desk.
>> No. 7282 Anonymous
5th November 2014
Wednesday 8:02 pm
7282 spacer
>>7280
today at work our iChat server died so we started up an IRC channel. It was great, productivity halved.
>> No. 7283 Anonymous
6th November 2014
Thursday 10:19 pm
7283 spacer
>7281

So it's a future laziness interruption prevention strategy then?
>> No. 7284 Anonymous
10th November 2014
Monday 10:07 pm
7284 spacer
They've recently given almost everyone a Moto G as a company phone, which means I'm spending half the day hearing the text message noise for my personal phone going off.
>> No. 7285 Anonymous
10th November 2014
Monday 10:25 pm
7285 spacer
>>7284

I might be being the stupid one here, but can you not just change your notification sounds?
>> No. 7286 Anonymous
10th November 2014
Monday 10:46 pm
7286 spacer
>>7284>>7285

I think he means he has a moto g at home, so he's hearing other peoples with the motorola sounds that his has.

Yeah he could change it, but it's an annoying feeling when you're tuned into a certain sound, and it takes a while to get used to that changing.
>> No. 7287 Anonymous
11th November 2014
Tuesday 1:13 am
7287 spacer
>>7285
He could, but then the terrorists will win.
>> No. 7288 Anonymous
11th November 2014
Tuesday 8:59 pm
7288 spacer
Obese people. Well, to be specific, slovenly obese people.

I've worked with hefty people before, but we've had a lass start this week and she's the first one I'd class as being truly gargantuan and taking no pride in her appearance whatsoever. She offends most of my senses. She has greasy hair. She smells. She's very audible as she's constantly snaffling food, quaffing Coke Zero or breathing loudly - I'm suspecting the exertion of managing to intake enough oxygen to sustain her lumbering mass is why she's constantly sweaty.

She's brought in a tin of Quality Street and four bags of Cadburys bites since starting yesterday, so every cloud and that.
>> No. 7289 Anonymous
11th November 2014
Tuesday 9:18 pm
7289 spacer
>>7288

I think I'm to much of a hypochondriac to get fat. I'd be convinced every little twinge was a cardiac arrest shuffling it's way through my buttery good arteries.
>> No. 7295 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 7:51 am
7295 spacer
She didn't turn up yesterday because the job "wasn't for her", which we believe was down to having to walk up two flights of stairs. We then got a call from a temp agency to say she'd registered there that morning, said she'd done a bit of work for us (apparently those two days were the first bit of work she'd done in over 18 months of trying) so asked for a reference. She did not get a good reference.

Anyway, I've got a problem that I've somehow ended up with more annual leave than I need. I can only carry forward 5 days to 2015, but even if I take off every Friday for the rest of the year I'll still have too much left. I could also take a week off, but I have no real need to and I doubt it'd be productive.
>> No. 7296 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 9:20 am
7296 spacer
>>7295

> I could also take a week off, but I have no real need to and I doubt it'd be productive.

Why does it have to be productive? Just take some time off, enjoy your coke zero and all.
>> No. 7297 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 10:16 am
7297 spacer
>>7295
Gemma trying to get into HR, and messing it up.
>> No. 7298 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 2:16 pm
7298 spacer
>>7295

How does one even get that fat whilst being long-term unemployed? I thought are Ian was starving all them scroungers to death.
>> No. 7299 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 3:18 pm
7299 spacer
>>7298

Genetics.
>> No. 7300 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 3:51 pm
7300 spacer
>>7298
Shit food is generally cheaper.
>> No. 7301 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 3:54 pm
7301 spacer
>>7298

Junk food isn't that expensive, you could eat 2500+ calories a day easily on a fiver a day, especially if all you're doing is eating chocolate and drinking huge bottles of coke.
>> No. 7304 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 4:42 pm
7304 spacer
>>7300
Bollocks. Microwaveable shit food and cheap biscuits maybe but that's no Fucking excuse for not doing your own meals and such. You don't have to have a fucking organic salad from Duchy Estate. That's one thing living alone has taught me, fat people have no self control and love excuses.
>> No. 7305 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 4:45 pm
7305 spacer
>>7299
Genetics doesn't dictate your calorie intake. It has an effect on how much you burn to maintain your body, but not for how much you burn in your day to day life and how much you eat.

Fat is a equilibrium between calories expended and calories consumed. That's all there is to it. To lose weight you either consume less or burn more. It's not difficult.
>> No. 7307 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 5:02 pm
7307 spacer
>>7304
Alright Katie Hopkins, calm down. You're welcome to your narrow minded and judgemental worldview. I can't be arsed to argue the point. It's boring.
>> No. 7308 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 5:06 pm
7308 spacer
>>7307
What's narrow minded about it? Who is Katie Hopkins?


It's certainly judgmental though, I'll give you that. It was supposed to be. These are people who cannot control their own fat mouths. What's not to judge?
>> No. 7309 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 5:29 pm
7309 spacer
>>7308
>Who is Katie Hopkins?
A controversial MILF.
>> No. 7310 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 7:07 pm
7310 spacer
>>7296
I'll just end up bored, unless there's Minder or Sherlock Holmes on ITV4 then there's nowt to watch in the daytime apart from Frasier and there's nothing I fancy on Netflix now I've watched all of It's Always Sunny. I should have taken a week off earlier in the year, as the weather's shite now.

>>7298
She told us that her husband spends £300 a month on chocolate. She seemed proud of this fact. I'm assuming he's a feeder.
>> No. 7311 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 7:18 pm
7311 spacer

shite.png
731173117311
>>7309
>Who is Katie Hopkins?

It's a rhetorical question and should be left at that. The cunt thrives on attention.

As for food prices, let us enter the food triangle, you can only have 2 out of the 3.

Price and convenience would refer to something quick and cheap, e.g.: fast food.

Convenience and nutrition would be something expensive like a posh ready meal

And the final combination, price and nutrition would be something that you spend time buying, cooking and eating.

Most of us should fall in the third catergory, so I'd make cooking a hobby as it vastly makes the act easier and fun too.
>> No. 7312 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 7:21 pm
7312 spacer
>>7305

Don't be foolish lad. Genetics>Thermodynamics any day, any fundie chubster knows this.
>> No. 7313 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 7:46 pm
7313 spacer
>>7311
>Most of us should fall in the third catergory,
And unnecessarily forsake the convenience? If I'm getting home at around 8pm like fuck am I going to cook and clean up afterwards.
>> No. 7314 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 7:56 pm
7314 spacer
>>7313
Fair enough, forget the last line.
>> No. 7315 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 9:06 pm
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7uJ4ML9.png
731573157315
>>7311
I saw this just now. It doesn't seem so stupid; aside from the amount she allegedly gets on benefits.
>> No. 7316 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 9:14 pm
7316 spacer
>>7304

Good, proper food is cheap, but so is junk food. 1kg of broccoli is about the same price as a 600g bar of Dairy Milk, only the former has 100 calories and the latter has 800. There's a lot to be said for people who don't think they can cook, too. Which is a shame.

Fat people are fat because they eat too much, but to me that's like saying crackheads are crackheads because they smoke too much crack. You're certainly missing the key factors of mental and emotional health.

But this is the wrong thread for this, so I'll finish with this - being made to take conference calls that have nothing to do with your department and will not affect you at all. They're the reason I'm obese.
>> No. 7317 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 9:18 pm
7317 spacer
>>7311

You can have all three quite easily. I paid twenty quid for a rice cooker and I just lob some rice, some broccoli and carrots, and a chicken breast in it, and come back 20 minutes later to a full meal.

And if it takes you more than three minutes to chop enough vegetables to feed two people then you probably don't have functioning hands.
>> No. 7318 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 9:24 pm
7318 spacer
>>7317

Hence comes the invisible third dimension of the food triangle- Not tasting like arse.
>> No. 7319 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 10:30 pm
7319 spacer
>>7317>>7318

Seconded. Cooking chicken breast in a rice cooker is absolutely grim.
>> No. 7320 Anonymous
13th November 2014
Thursday 10:43 pm
7320 spacer
>>7317

Not really mate, I've experimented in many ways, and to have the most cost efficient / healthy/ tasty meals is to make stews in bulk and portion them for the week.

The steamer thing is ok, but eating that 5 times a week would make me go insane. What about spices? What about some texture? All you get is a soft wet mass that doesn't contain any flavour or excitement.

As for 3 minutes, I know you want to sound like billy big bollox on the internet, but not everyone is Ramsay - nor should they be.
>> No. 7321 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 8:05 am
7321 spacer
>>7320

I've been eating roasted chicken breast in foil with pepper/olive oil, spinach leaves and a jacket sweet potato at work for the past three weeks.

It's cheap, very nutritious, quick to prepare, but fucking hell I'm itching for a bit of variation. I'd really like a thread in /fat/ or /nom/ dedicated to practical and healthy food to take with you each day, just so I can switch up every now and again. My meals are geared more toward fitness than taste so I'd lean toward /fat/ if I were to make a thread, but anywhere would be grand.

Considering rubbing paprika or spices into the next batch of chicken as a short term measure.
>> No. 7322 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 9:01 am
7322 spacer
>>7321
Same, as a matter of fact - 6 months ago, I began to compile recipes I made and calculated all the nutritional values. It's tough though, and takes some thought.

I've seen a lot of Americans do this and post their findings online, but it's all done using American ingredients in stupid Imperial units.
>> No. 7323 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 9:38 am
7323 spacer
>>7322

Please do share your recipes if you ever get the chance, I'll contribute my own where I can.
>> No. 7324 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 9:47 am
7324 spacer
>>7322
Imperial units aren't stupid. American units are stupid. Sixteen ounces in a pint? What the fuck is a cup when it's at home? Who measures butter in sticks?
>> No. 7325 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 10:27 am
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sketti.jpg
732573257325
>>7324

>Who measures butter in sticks?

sketti
>> No. 7326 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 10:44 am
7326 spacer
>>7324

But that's why imperial units are stupid, they aren't even standardised from nation to nation. Those two nations being the US and the UK respectively (but only bits of the latter). Bugger imperial units, metric till I die. Or a superior system is introduced.
>> No. 7327 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 11:55 am
7327 spacer
>>7326
>Those two nations being the US and the UK respectively (but only bits of the latter).
No, the US does not use Imperial units. It uses US Customary units, which include such nonsense as a dry pint and a stick of butter. They are not Imperial units, and the various standards bodies in the US will bollock you for calling them such in their presence.
>> No. 7328 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 12:03 pm
7328 spacer
>>7326

So you're willing to walk a kilometre down the road to buy a litre of milk? Fuck you.
>> No. 7329 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 12:26 pm
7329 spacer
>>7328
Yeah, fuck him and the kilowatt he rode in on.
>> No. 7330 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 12:50 pm
7330 spacer
>>7326
I know a lot of people that openly denounce imperial units (and rightly so), but then turn around and mock the French idea of a gradian. Why do these people expect centigrade everywhere else but when you suggest changing a right angle from 90 to 100 they get all uppity?
>> No. 7331 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 1:02 pm
7331 spacer
>>7330
Fuck the French. Radians are where all the angular action is. Metric time is bollocks too - Swatch have their thousand beats to the day, which is a measure used by literally nobody outside Swatch.
>> No. 7332 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 1:39 pm
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flag_french[1].jpg
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>>7331
Yes, radians are the absolute measure of an angle and that isn't under dispute, but you could argue they aren't much of a unit. Not least because they're pretty useless in the real world. 100 degrees in a right angle makes a lot more sense than the arbitrary decision to use 90.

Switching time to a metric scale would be the most difficult one to achieve, especially since I've just read a /poof/ thread where some daft cunts can't even read a clock properly as it is, but in a truly perfect and beautiful metric future, time will be centigrade too. We already subdivide anything smaller than a second on a centigrade, it's just hours that are old-fashioned and obsolete.
>> No. 7333 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 2:00 pm
7333 spacer
>>7331
>metric time

I think you'll find the SI unit of time is the second, so I've no idea what you are talking about.
>> No. 7334 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 2:19 pm
7334 spacer
>>7319 >>7320

It's really not. The chicken is still firm and moist, and the veggies are al dente. Spices and flavouring are indeed up to you. Wrap the chicken in foil with garlic and butter if you really want. Throw some star anise in with the rice, whatever. It shouldn't be out of the reach of most adults to work this stuff out.

I'm certainly not a big bollox, billy or otherwise. I might be a professional cook but this is all stuff I learned from my mum, not Escoffier. Three minutes is about two minutes too long at work, but at home even the missus can chop some carrots in this time.

If you're eating a protein and some veg for your dinner then there's no reason you can't put the meat on to cook and have everything else ready in that ten to twenty minutes. Pork chops with mushroom, spinach and roast peppers. Carbonara. Steak, roast sweet potato and onion confit. Spanish omelette. Any sort of stew. These things all take between zero to ten minutes to prep for someone who is slow. And the cooking process takes ten to thirty, and for 80% of all of it you're free to be doing something else.

It's not hard and I don't know why people insist on making it seem like it is. A monkey could do my job, so a much less well prepared monkey could cook at home.
>> No. 7335 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 3:17 pm
7335 spacer
>>7333
Christ, lad. First you confuse American and Imperial, and now you confuse SI and Metric.
>> No. 7336 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 3:23 pm
7336 spacer
>>7335
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_system

>The uncoordinated use of the metric system by different scientific and engineering disciplines, particularly in the late 19th century, resulted in different choices of fundamental units, even though all were based on the same definitions of the metre and the kilogram. During the 20th century, efforts were made to rationalise these units, and in 1960 the CGPM published the International System of Units which, since then, has been the internationally recognised standard metric system.
>> No. 7338 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 3:36 pm
7338 spacer
>>7336
Congratulations, lad. You managed to copy and paste something into the thread. Good boy, have a biscuit.
>> No. 7339 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 3:40 pm
7339 spacer
>>7338
Thanks, did you manage to read it?
>> No. 7340 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 3:53 pm
7340 spacer
>>7339
Yes, though I fail to see the relevance. SI is a metric system, but it is not the metric system.
>> No. 7341 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 4:00 pm
7341 spacer
>>7328

It's preferable to walking a mile down the road for a pint of milk.

>>7330

Eh, I'd back that, seems logical.

Although not a unit of measurement, the classification of stars is something else that's arbitrarily not been changed, despite being completely wrong in its first instance.

>>7332

Metric time sounds good too. Will the metric revolution be a violent one?
>> No. 7342 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 4:16 pm
7342 spacer
>>7341
>It's preferable to walking a mile down the road for a pint of milk
But surely not preferable to walking two furlongs for four pints of milk.
>> No. 7343 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 4:56 pm
7343 spacer
>>7330>>7332
The thing about angles and time that make them different from most measurements, is the fact that you get to one point and then you go back to the beginning and start counting again. It becomes much less useful to have a fully metric system here because it's easy to just measure to a degree or a second + a fraction thereof.
Also for time and angles, it's just incredibly rare for anything to crop up in everyday life where you need to measure them with any level of precision. Unlike weight and distance where the metric system is useful for things as mundane as calculating how much your apples will cost at sainsburys.


>>7334
I agree, I picked most of my cooking skills up entirely by myself. People who say cooking nice stuff quickly is hard, probably have never tried, or are making it hard for themselves.

>>7340>>7339>>7338>>7336>>7335>>7333
Lads.
Let's get back to the original point. >>7333 basically said that seconds are metric. He is correct, seconds are used as the metric measurement of time for practically all modern purposes.
The SI system uses seconds, the SI system is a metric system. That makes seconds a metric unit for all intents and purposes. Moreover the SI system is the metric system due to the fact that all other systems are obsolete and/or irrelevant.

>>7341
>It's preferable to walking a mile down the road for a pint of milk.
I reserve the right to walk a mile for a pint of milk, then mix 300ml of that pint with 110 grams of a 1 pound bag of flour and two eggs, mix it together, then put the mixture into a 6" X 4" tin with some sausages for half an hour at 220°C.

>Metric time sounds good too. Will the metric revolution be a violent one?
The metric revolution will be in gradians, so some people will revolve about 4 or 5 times until they stop, some other people will get lost halfway.
>> No. 7344 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:07 pm
7344 spacer
>>7340
Yes it is, and it has been for over half a century.
>> No. 7345 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:10 pm
7345 spacer
>>7343
>Let's get back to the original point.
You've not gone back far enough. >>7331 raised the issue of metric time and was clearly talking about time scales, not just units. SI doesn't define a time scale. Seconds are a metric unit, absolutely, but in everyday usage we tell the time in hours, minutes and seconds. You can't reasonably describe this system as metric.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_time
>> No. 7346 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:15 pm
7346 spacer
>>7345
>You can't reasonably describe this system as metric
Weird that the wiki page you linked does exactly that then.
>> No. 7347 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:23 pm
7347 spacer
>>7343
>That makes seconds a metric unit for all intents and purposes.
No. Metric units are characterised by powers of ten. For a while the French flirted with a metric measure of time in which the day was made up of ten hours of a hundred minutes of a hundred seconds, which formed a ten-day week, although they couldn't figure out a way to break out of twelve months of three weeks each. The word metre comes from metric, not the other way round.

>Moreover the SI system is the metric system due to the fact that all other systems are obsolete and/or irrelevant.
You might want to break the news to anyone still using centigrade for temperature or kilometres per hour for speed.
>> No. 7348 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:28 pm
7348 spacer
>>7346
>Other units of time, the minute, hour, and day, are accepted for use with the modern metric system, but are not part of it.
Emphasis added for density.
>> No. 7349 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:34 pm
7349 spacer
>>7347
The second is a metric unit, and is the basis of how we measure time. Hence our measurement of time is metric. It is not, however, decimal time which is what the French attempted.
>> No. 7350 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:39 pm
7350 spacer
>>7348
The fact that we measure seconds in minutes and minutes in hours etc. is not relevant to whether or not the system is metric. It is entirely down to the base units used. I don't know how to make this any simpler.
>> No. 7351 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:39 pm
7351 spacer
>>7349
So if I develop my own system where I measure distance in metres but eschew the SI prefixes in favour of my own nonsensical and arbitrary multiples, you'll accept it as metric? I sure hope not, but how would that be any different?
>> No. 7352 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 5:48 pm
7352 spacer
The metre is one ten millionth the distance from the pole to the equator.

This is equivalent to three-hundred and twenty-four thousand seconds of arc.
>> No. 7354 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 6:07 pm
7354 spacer
>>7352
That was the original definition but these days the metre is defined as "the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/299 792 458 of a second." [http://www.bipm.org/en/CGPM/db/17/1/].

The second is "the duration of 9192631770 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the caesium 133 atom."

The reason for this is mostly to do with the speed of light being a more fundamental quantity than either the metre or the second, hence it is 'fixed' along with seconds and the metre is a measured quantity.
>> No. 7355 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 6:27 pm
7355 spacer
>>7349
>The second is a metric unit,
It isn't, nor has it ever been. There is a metric second, which is about 5/6 of an SI second, but nobody uses it seriously anymore.
>> No. 7356 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 6:35 pm
7356 spacer
>>7354
This. There has been significant movement in the last few decades to move away from metric units towards physical ones. IIRC the BIPM have ratified physical definitions of six of the SI base units, though a physical definition of the kilogram has been elusive even though of the seven it's the one with a more pressing need for a physical definition. There are two candidates: one involving electromagnetism, the other involving counting silicon atoms. There was a decent series about this very subject on BBC Four a while ago. I'll try and dig up the details
>> No. 7357 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 7:12 pm
7357 spacer
>>7355
An SI second is a metric unit, being as the SI system is the metric system.
>> No. 7359 Anonymous
14th November 2014
Friday 8:31 pm
7359 spacer
>>7357
Oh dear, lad. See Mr Brittan after class.
>> No. 7360 Anonymous
18th November 2014
Tuesday 4:43 pm
7360 spacer
>Is [colleague] there please?

I'm afraid they're just on another line at the moment, can I pass on a message?

>Do you know how long they're going to be?

I'LL JUST LOOK IN MY CRYSTAL FUCKING BALL AND FIND OUT, SHALL I?
>> No. 7361 Anonymous
18th November 2014
Tuesday 5:01 pm
7361 spacer
>>7360

Or you could just say "no, I don't", I mean, it's entirely plausible that you'd know that information, isn't it?
>> No. 7362 Anonymous
18th November 2014
Tuesday 6:04 pm
7362 spacer
>>7361
Unless it's an extremely quick call I think it's not really possible to gauge. There are conversations where you can tell they want to wrap it up but the other person might keep them on for another 20 minutes or so.
>> No. 7363 Anonymous
18th November 2014
Tuesday 6:50 pm
7363 spacer
>>7360

Even better version

>Is [colleague] there please?
Sorry they're on leave today, can I he-
>**dead line**

I work for a Local Authority and there are two officers with the same name but with different roles. The authority has a voice activated directory system which always defaults to the non-public officer and the other officer has somehow set their phone to divert back to the switch board.

Now imagine learning this while talking to a taxi driver trying to apply for the licence they need to earn a crust.
>> No. 7364 Anonymous
19th November 2014
Wednesday 3:47 pm
7364 spacer
The work experience girl has been folding letters with the blank side (and therefore the side showing in the window envelope) on the outside. I just don't get how people can be that thick and have no initiative.

"I can't print any more because the printer has ran out of paper."

WELL FUCKING PUT SOME MORE PAPER IN THE TRAY, IT'S NOT ROCKET SURGERY.
>> No. 7365 Anonymous
19th November 2014
Wednesday 5:57 pm
7365 spacer
>>7364
>WELL FUCKING PUT SOME MORE PAPER IN THE TRAY, IT'S NOT ROCKET SURGERY.

"BUT IT'S NOT MY JOB"


I'm so glad I ended up in a place where that sort of nonsense isn't tolerated.
>> No. 7366 Anonymous
19th November 2014
Wednesday 6:46 pm
7366 spacer
>>7365
>"BUT IT'S NOT MY JOB"
It could be worse. You could find yourself working with a self-appointed Custodian of the Stationery Cupboard, who keeps said cupboard locked and insists on personally supervising any attempt to remove anything from it. This results in situations where you run out of paper but can't reload it because the cunt with the key has fucked off early for the day.
>> No. 7367 Anonymous
20th November 2014
Thursday 10:03 pm
7367 spacer
Not quite a workplace grievance, but I suppose it fits here.

I've recently been looking for a new job, and fuck me, the sorts of people who work for agencies really do seem to be robotic. No capacity for individual thought or processing of information. When requesting references, I had one bitch call me back about 4 times throughout the day to inform me that my contact's number "isn't working" in a vaguely accusatory tone.

What part is so hard to grasp about someone being unable to take calls whilst they are at work? Is it unbelievable that somebody works in a place that doesn't suit answering your phone at leisure? Is it so hard to process that if I tell you the best time to reach him is before midday, he isn't going to be available at 4 in the afternoon?
>> No. 7368 Anonymous
20th November 2014
Thursday 11:24 pm
7368 spacer

1012.strip.gif
736873687368
>>7367
It sounds like you're getting your reference strategy wrong for this agency. Since companies are unwilling to give real references for fear of being sued into oblivion, you just need to seed 4 mates with payg disposable phones and silly accents.
But yes, agencies do attract people too foul to be GemmaFromHR or actual HR weasels.
>> No. 7369 Anonymous
20th November 2014
Thursday 11:52 pm
7369 spacer
>>7368

>seed 4 mates with payg disposable phones and silly accents.

That IS my reference strategy. That's all I've ever done for references frankly, because the reason I usually end up leaving jobs in the first place is thanks to intolerable levels of passive aggression from managers who hate me but can't pin anything specific on me.
>> No. 7370 Anonymous
21st November 2014
Friday 1:18 am
7370 spacer
>>7368
>>7369
The businesses you worked for must have websites, and if they do, they should have mate#4@legitbusiness.com emails. How do you go around that?
>> No. 7371 Anonymous
21st November 2014
Friday 2:07 am
7371 spacer
>>7370
If you need a gap filling around 2009-2011, then the business went to the wall and the address no longer works.
>> No. 7372 Anonymous
21st November 2014
Friday 2:39 am
7372 spacer
>>7371
So you give out your mates' normal email? The ones provided by Gmail and such?
>> No. 7373 Anonymous
21st November 2014
Friday 7:49 am
7373 spacer
>>7371
This. There's so many to choose from; Comet, Phones4U, Jessops, Kwik Save, Woolworths, etc.

Agencies are a real pain in the arse for trying to hire someone, too - the moment that job is advertised you'll get dozens of calls from agency vultures every day.
>> No. 7374 Anonymous
21st November 2014
Friday 1:32 pm
7374 spacer
>>7373
>Jessops
You could even tell them that you were the clever chap who came up with 'thanks for shopping with Amazon' originally. Commercial awareness, and all that.
>> No. 7375 Anonymous
21st November 2014
Friday 5:58 pm
7375 spacer
I had a terrible dream that someone with a nut allergy started at my work. No more Brazil nuts or roasted peanuts. No more Picnic bars. No more bringing in currys/stir frys with cashew nuts in. I don't think I'd be able to manage.
>> No. 7376 Anonymous
21st November 2014
Friday 6:56 pm
7376 spacer
>>7375
Why would someone else's allergy affect what you can bring in to work (unless you work at a primary school)?
>> No. 7377 Anonymous
21st November 2014
Friday 7:23 pm
7377 spacer
It's so easy to assassinate people with allergies.
>> No. 7407 Anonymous
25th November 2014
Tuesday 12:38 pm
7407 spacer
That Kendra was a right bitch in the jungle last night.
>> No. 7420 Anonymous
26th November 2014
Wednesday 2:20 pm
7420 spacer
>>7407
Does she work in accounts?
>> No. 7423 Anonymous
26th November 2014
Wednesday 9:01 pm
7423 spacer
>>7375
>No more bringing in currys/stir frys with cashew nuts in.

Stinking up your workplace with curries, lad.
>> No. 7424 Anonymous
26th November 2014
Wednesday 9:20 pm
7424 spacer
>>7423
That's what the microwave's for. Nowt wrong with it unless you're bringing in an absolute ponger.
>> No. 7428 Anonymous
28th November 2014
Friday 7:09 pm
7428 spacer
When someone knows something is going to go wrong in an area they're not involved in, probably with those people completely unaware of the problem, but instead of alerting them to this or doing anything at all to stop it from happening they do nothing just so they can say "see? I told you this would happen."
>> No. 7429 Anonymous
28th November 2014
Friday 8:25 pm
7429 spacer
>>7428
I believe in the eyes of the UK justice system, it is permissible to smash their stupid, smug faces on the photocopier repeatedly until they assure you they will stop doing this.
>> No. 7430 Anonymous
28th November 2014
Friday 8:40 pm
7430 spacer
>>7428
I do that repeatedly. It makes me feel good. In most cases, I like to watch people overcoming problems.
>> No. 7436 Anonymous
2nd December 2014
Tuesday 10:49 am
7436 spacer
I've just been referred to as "techie" for being able to put files into a zip folder.
>> No. 7437 Anonymous
2nd December 2014
Tuesday 12:47 pm
7437 spacer
>>7436

Congratulations, you will now be called upon to fix every minor IT problem in your office until you quit, retire, or go on a machete-wielding rampage.
>> No. 7438 Anonymous
2nd December 2014
Tuesday 12:53 pm
7438 spacer
>>7437
This morning I've already had to go around and help someone who had turned off num lock and another who looked at me like some kind of sorcerer for introducing her to format painter.
>> No. 7439 Anonymous
2nd December 2014
Tuesday 1:15 pm
7439 spacer
>>7436>>7438

And there was me beginning to think the "bing bong noise" types, who don't know a USB from a C-130, were a thing of the past.
>> No. 7440 Anonymous
2nd December 2014
Tuesday 9:53 pm
7440 spacer
Ancient IT. Today, a joyful combination of Win98(SE, at least) and XP boxes running recalcitrant machinery. 8.3 filenames, baulky networking and permissions, fucked support for USB sticks and a keyboard that kept dropping back into German. Grumble as we might now, things used to be (differently) awful.
Also temperature dependent rheology making me nip out and buy fan heaters.
>> No. 7441 Anonymous
2nd December 2014
Tuesday 9:56 pm
7441 spacer
>>7438
If you are poorly paid, use this as an excuse to get a higher paid job as an IT technician. I did it for a couple of years before moving on to a programmer job and it's pretty much that easy most of the time.

>>7440
>. 8.3 filenames
Hahahaha.
>> No. 7449 Anonymous
9th December 2014
Tuesday 4:29 pm
7449 spacer
Someone had tuna at dinner and I can still smell it now.
>> No. 7450 Anonymous
9th December 2014
Tuesday 4:40 pm
7450 spacer
>>7449

Well, that's the best case scenario. Someone might have a fanny that smells like tuna and was scratching it in the break room and handled all the mugs.
>> No. 7451 Anonymous
9th December 2014
Tuesday 4:48 pm
7451 spacer

6484742[1].jpg
745174517451
>>7450
>> No. 7463 Anonymous
10th December 2014
Wednesday 7:58 pm
7463 spacer
>>6636 here again.

Yesterday she was given print outs of some e-mails and told that she needed to e-mail the addresses shown on them to request some information. However she fucked that up and tried e-mailing the websites listed in the footers. She tried emailing a web address, I have no words. If it was anyone else I'd think nobody would be stupid enough to actually do this.
>> No. 7490 Anonymous
23rd December 2014
Tuesday 8:01 pm
7490 spacer
Every email I sent today received an out of office reply. Today was a good day.
>> No. 7493 Anonymous
23rd December 2014
Tuesday 9:03 pm
7493 spacer
>>7490
Every email I received today got an out of office reply. The last few days have been good days.
>> No. 7494 Anonymous
23rd December 2014
Tuesday 9:29 pm
7494 spacer
>>7493

I have gotten no emails today. I'm lonely.
>> No. 7495 Anonymous
23rd December 2014
Tuesday 9:55 pm
7495 spacer
>>7494

All I ever get is spam and S.A. reminders from HMRC. Hold me lads.
>> No. 7510 Anonymous
24th December 2014
Wednesday 3:24 am
7510 spacer

gibbshug.jpg
751075107510
>>7495
>> No. 7575 Anonymous
13th January 2015
Tuesday 11:52 am
7575 spacer
There's a company called 'Your Franking Machine Supplier' and they always try and catch you out when they phone, the misleading rascals.
>> No. 7580 Anonymous
14th January 2015
Wednesday 3:37 pm
7580 spacer
We have no milk and we have no bottles of water for the cooler. What the hell am I meant to do? Drink tap water? Purchase my own beverages?
>> No. 7581 Anonymous
14th January 2015
Wednesday 3:53 pm
7581 spacer
>>7580

Bring a tiny bottle of milk in like some psycho.
>> No. 7582 Anonymous
14th January 2015
Wednesday 4:21 pm
7582 spacer
>>1795
Customers who watch me bag their items and then inform me they have no requirements for said bag ☣
>> No. 7583 Anonymous
14th January 2015
Wednesday 7:33 pm
7583 spacer
>>7582
"Do you need a bag sir/madam?" Followed by, "Do you need me to pack for you?"

Every customer, every fucking time. Do it lad.
>> No. 7584 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 2:49 pm
7584 spacer
HELLO. I AM THE LOW WINTER SUN AND I'M GOING TO BE IN THAT NARROW GAP BETWEEN THE EDGE OF THE WINDOW AMD THE END OF THE BLINDS, DAZZLING YOUR EYES LIKE THE SHINY CUNT THAT I AM.
>> No. 7585 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 3:14 pm
7585 spacer
>>7584

My school used to be terrible for that. C wing would look out east/west, depending on which side of the hall you were on, and the giant windows and useless blinds meant we really should've started bringing sunglasses.

Now that I think about it it's probably part of the reason I never enjoyed Spanish.
>> No. 7586 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 4:58 pm
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>>7585
You may be interested to learn that many blinds are designed to let low winter sun in, and deflect high summer sun. This provides energy efficient heating and cooling of a building.
>> No. 7587 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 5:40 pm
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130813f.jpg
758775877587
>>7585>>7586
Fucking vertical blinds.
The most bloody useless invention imaginable.

Even if you had a classroom with a newly installed set that would close properly without any slats facing the wrong way, there would always be one side of the class which was blinded.

>>7584
This is why I have both curtains and venetian blinds in my bedroom window, it's a really effective combination.
>> No. 7588 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 6:06 pm
7588 spacer
>>7586

Yeah, well that building was freezing in winter and boiling in summer.

>>7587

Ugh, don't. I'm having flashbacks.
>> No. 7589 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 10:05 pm
7589 spacer
Vertical blinds combined with a draft coming through the windows and I've been sitting near a low tech strobe light. I expect that is why I finished work yesterday with a headache.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 7590 Anonymous
19th January 2015
Monday 4:55 pm
7590 spacer
I'm trying to eat less to lose some of the podge I've accumulated over Christmas, but if I don't fill up my belly with food it fills up with farts instead. I've spent the past two hours sat at my desk making incredibly audible gaseous noises. I'm now cowering in the bogs, firing off a few fart artillery rounds to try and ease the pressure.
>> No. 7591 Anonymous
19th January 2015
Monday 5:14 pm
7591 spacer
>>7590

That's a pathetic but curiously endearing image you've created there.
>> No. 7610 Anonymous
27th January 2015
Tuesday 6:18 pm
7610 spacer
I got collared to go through a report at 16:53. They had all fucking day to ask me about it and they left it until a few minutes before I'm ready to shut down and bolt out the door.
>> No. 7611 Anonymous
27th January 2015
Tuesday 7:34 pm
7611 spacer
>>7610
I think we've been through this before. Make your excuses and leave, and the following morning remark on how everything would be much better if someone got their priorities straight.
>> No. 7612 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 11:59 am
7612 spacer
I don't know if they're sawing it or gnawing it like a beaver, but someone is eating an apple and it is going right through me.

Oh, and someone needs to stop marking all of their emails as HIGH IMPORTANCE. All of them.
>> No. 7613 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 6:01 pm
7613 spacer
I've got a mechanical keyboard for work now, so it's clack clack clack mother fucker. This probably rubs someone up the wrong way but the typing is so much better than on the rubber dome it's ridiculous.

genuinely sorry if this annoys people but it is cherry brown so it isn't too noisy.
>> No. 7615 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 6:12 pm
7615 spacer
>>7613
So is it placebo or is it really actually genuinely better? Looking at getting one myself but it appears I have to drop some serious cash on getting one shipped from the States if I want one that isn't covered in gayness such as silly moulding and glowing lights like the "gaming" varieties.
>> No. 7616 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 6:24 pm
7616 spacer
>>7613
I used to work with somene who would pound his keyboard like there way no tomorrow, never really bothered me though.
>> No. 7622 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 7:46 pm
7622 spacer
>>7613

You utter cunt.
>> No. 7625 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 8:48 pm
7625 spacer
>>7615
Mate it's the fucking shit. I got a ducky zero cherry brown from overclockers and it's made typing really great, its like being in a hacking film. The way the backlights work make it look cool too. Totally worth the £80 (full size keyboard including numpad and whatnot). Apparently they last forever and have good resale value compared to rubber domes too, which go 'mushy' after a while.
>> No. 7627 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 8:50 pm
7627 spacer
>>7625
And you can turn the backlights off of course. The brightness on them is adjustable from dim to blinding. You can even selectively brighten different sections of the board.
>> No. 7628 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 9:31 pm
7628 spacer
>>7615
http://www.kustompcs.co.uk/acatalog/info_30107.html
(Even though the US is pictured, you get the UK layout).
>> No. 7629 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 9:38 pm
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switches.gif
762976297629
>>7625
This leaves nothing to the imagination, if you know what I mean.
>> No. 7634 Anonymous
2nd February 2015
Monday 10:51 pm
7634 spacer
>>7613

I'm at a different desk today - without my MX brown sugar.

How? How do people cope with rubber dome mushiness...
>> No. 7639 Anonymous
3rd February 2015
Tuesday 12:08 am
7639 spacer
>>7634
What are you doing that you're both working that late at night and able to get an employer to spunk £80 on a keyboard for you?
>> No. 7670 Anonymous
5th February 2015
Thursday 1:07 pm
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Yesterday a slight fuck up was unveiled at work. It's partially my fault, and I'm fine owning up to that, although I simply did what I was told and queried what I had to do a few times as it didn't make sense to me.

One of my colleagues starting shitting herself and talking about how much she was dreading coming in today because she thought our manager would flip. She'd clearly worried about it all night and must have spent the time coming up with an arse-covering strategy. First thing this morning she collared me to 'go over everything that had happened' and then tried to revise history by claiming I'd also done this and that while she had no knowledge of it whatsoever, despite the fact she was the person who told me what to do a few times when I queried it (to which she claims if I'd asked her she'd have given me a completely different answer). Absolutely petty stuff it isn't even worth arguing over. In the end the manager was fine with it and very laid back, but it's left a bit of a bad taste in the mouth - I've seen emails from my colleague to the people who can rectify it which include 'I don't know why anon didn't tell me about this months ago and none of this would have happened'.
>> No. 7671 Anonymous
5th February 2015
Thursday 2:49 pm
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>>7670

There are cunts like this everywhere. I once got sat down by my manager and given a story that we were both to stick to when the big post-mortem meeting happened. I went in and parroted my side of the story only for him to completely sell me down the river like a sack of shit, right in front of my face. Bastard.
>> No. 7672 Anonymous
5th February 2015
Thursday 2:52 pm
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>>7639
I get the impression they've brought their own keyboards to work.
>> No. 7673 Anonymous
5th February 2015
Thursday 2:57 pm
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>>7670
>>7671

Just document everything, or at least email everything. I've had similar situations, even a one where management sat me down to try and discipline me for carrying out their plan to the letter. Luckily I had a folder full of emails detailing this, including me predicting the failure. They made the mistake of making it a formal meeting so everything was recorded. I still have a transcript from HR somewhere. hahahahahah
>> No. 7674 Anonymous
5th February 2015
Thursday 3:37 pm
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>>7670
Did this meeting happen in private? If so, then you should probably make sure management know about the inappropriate touching and language you had to put up with.
>> No. 7675 Anonymous
5th February 2015
Thursday 3:40 pm
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>>7672
I hope not, because that would be a really stupid thing to do beyond bringing it in once or twice for demonstration purposes.
>> No. 7676 Anonymous
5th February 2015
Thursday 4:08 pm
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>>7674
Happened in an open plan office, as I said our manager didn't really care so it wasn't anything formal. Usually I do have everything recorded in emails for situations like this - she flustered when I told her that our manager was aware that I'd asked her what to do months ago and I had this on record. I'm certain she frantically searched the system to see if I'd saved it on there after I'd gone (which I don't think I have but it's still in my inbox) as I heard a few 'I ONLY FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS LAST WEEK' from the other side of the office later on. She's now moved on to planning a girly trip to the cinema to see 50 Shades of Gray when it's out, with a booth and prosecco and everything.
>> No. 7748 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 12:47 am
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I've done it again. I told myself I wouldn't get another office job, but I took one anyway in December, because I was in need of a quick and steady income.

I'm scarcely out of my probation and I've already taken a week off with some very dodgy excuses because I simply couldn't face going in. I wake up and roll over to put my alarm on snooze at least 3 times before forcing myself out of bed and throwing on the same shirt I've already worn the last 3 days because I really couldn't give enough of a shit to waste my time ironing a clean one. I roll into the place reliably between 5 and 10 minutes late, avoiding eye contact with my manager and the department head. I sit at my desk, check my schedule, and instantly begin to mull over the idea of just getting up, packing my shit and walking the fuck back out without saying a word to anybody and never coming back.

I don't even know what it is really, but I hate it, really fucking loathe it. The work is tedious, but it's hardly unpleasant. The environment is nice. The shifts aren't too long, and the bosses are far from slave drivers. I think what I really hate is the impersonal nature of the organisation, how everyone is nice and friendly, but never in a really genuine way, never in any actually meaningful sense. Unavoidable really, when you work in a building with hundreds of colleagues, but it makes me feel isolated. Sure I can have a friendly chat with just about anyone in the smoking area or in the canteen, but it's like every single one of these conversations is about as deep as a conversation you'd have with a total stranger at the bus stop. We're all just office drones going about our day on auto pilot, with just about the requisite level of higher brain function and not a drop more.

How the fuck do I escape this hell. There must be jobs out there that aren't soul sucking black holes. How do I get at them?
>> No. 7749 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 1:09 am
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>>7748
It will never change. It will only get worse. Soon, you will be 50 and balding, and you will still hit the snooze button, and still come into work.
>> No. 7750 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 7:04 am
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>>7748
We had someone who lasted one morning before they started crying, went home for lunch and never came back. They ended up in hospital after a nervous breakdown because the job wasn't what they expected. All they'd been given was easy jobs, like opening the post.

Chin up, lad. Try the pub trade?
>> No. 7751 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 8:58 am
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>>7748

Thank Christ it's not just me. For me the worst part about office work was the absolutely petty stakes of just about every daily task. There's something crushing about knowing that, in theory, everything you do could be totally botched and no one would bloody notice. Which, even with senior staff, happened quite a bit now that I think about it.

Oh, and fuck being trapped within the same few square feet as other people and fuck open plan offices. I heard the voices of the same few people so much over the course of a few months that I swear I could hear their chattering in my sleep.

I thought I'd had a tedious job when I was stowing and sifting through warehouses and that I'd landed a lovely gig when I got into a sit-down admin job. Turns out it's just a different kind of hell.
>> No. 7752 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 9:07 am
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>>7751

>in theory, everything you do could be totally botched and no one would bloody notice.

It's a weird feeling realising the systems we utilise everyday are basically held together by smoke. I'm always quite reassured by the idea of the big mechano-like processes, or at least I was until I realised they weren't actually there. Now I just feel cynical.
>> No. 7753 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 9:11 am
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I wish my job involved sitting around and being inconsequential for seven or eight hours. I'm sure it seems quite mentally tiring to you, but as someone working 14 hour days with constant pressure, being an office drone sounds like a dream come true.
>> No. 7754 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 11:45 am
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>>7748
This is really well written.

I'm lucky I work in a lab were at least there is a little bit of banter, and a chance to get to know a variety of people from around the world that have blossomed into deeper friendships.

However, if you up the ante in terms of sociability, you will step on some toes, and vice versa. You will have people that just don't like you for no apparent reason, and they will make your work seem unenjoyable from the shit atmosphere they create.
It's sort of a test, and a war of attrition in terms of not bowing to cuntish behaviour, time will reveal their true nature to everyone and they'll be treated accordingly.

I figured the main issues with jobs is unfulfilment, just sitting there and toiling away at something that really is meaningless, utterly meaningless. There is nothing more loathsome than a friend going on about a job that ticks all the boxes, you might mean them well, but at the same time - everyone is cursing them under their breath.
>> No. 7755 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 1:07 pm
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>>7751
>fuck open plan offices

Normally I have no issue with them, but a few months back a couple of the women swapped desks and one of them seems to now be in some form of channel where you can hear her voice booming no matter where you are.
>> No. 7756 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 1:58 pm
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>>7755
I work in an open plan office and there is a definite split between the office of older people and the new ones brought in during a merger. This is not a metaphorical split either. The office floor has a central walkway with the two parties on either side. I wasn't working for the company when this merger happened and I got seated in with the the old fellas. Considering that I have to work with both groups of people I got a very frosty reception when I started working there. As soon as they realised I wasn't some interloper trying to break them up its all fine.

There used to be a lot of hushed voices whenever I entered the canteen or smoking area. The gossiping and rumours are just ridiculous at times where something happens on one floor and by the it filters through the grapevine half a floor is getting fired.
>> No. 7758 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 7:09 pm
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>>7752

>Now I just feel cynical.

I'm slowly coming to terms with that part of it.

One of the other new starters on my initial training course was a fresh faced uni leaver, member of the socialist party, idealist. She once wondered aloud how the planning team manage shift availability, and when I answered with the single word, "spreadsheet", she laughed as though I had made a joke.

I stared into the bottom of my pot noodle with a sense of complete despair. I don't remember when exactly I lost my innocence, but I do miss it.

>>7754

>This is really well written.

Thanks, m8. That genuinely brightened up my evening.
>> No. 7759 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 11:29 pm
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'Friendly' receptionists who are thick as fuck and embarrass you with their shit chat.

Usually found in middle of nowhere offices outside if the south east where all the competent ones are. I'm not your fucking mate you irritating bint. Holy shit.
>> No. 7760 Anonymous
11th February 2015
Wednesday 11:58 pm
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>>7759
What is it that you do for a living that you have to endure so many?
>> No. 7761 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 4:02 am
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>>7759
I don't endure that many, just enough so that it gets on my tits when I do encounter them.

The company has regional offices across the UK which tend to be in the middle of nowhere. Consequently the quality of available staff is pretty shit. The ones in the SE england offices are good though.
>> No. 7762 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 4:04 am
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>>7761
Also in case you're wandering, just got in from finishing a job. Got a nice cold beer from the petrol station end route to the hotel to celebrate with. Whoooo.
>> No. 7763 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 6:39 am
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>>7762

...

Hitman?
>> No. 7764 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 7:16 am
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>>7762
>end route to the hotel

https://www.youtube.com/v/7rUHSr59ftI
>> No. 7765 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 11:29 am
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>>7763

Hitmen drink milk.
>> No. 7766 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 12:22 pm
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Having off-site training today. Mainly me and businessmen in their 40s and 50s from other companies. I cannot handle the relentless banter.

>There's a lot to go through today, so strap yourselves in.
>THERE'S THE SAFETY WARNING!

>They'll have heard what they can do from a man down the pub.
>ACTUALLY, HE KNOWS A LOT!

It's been never ending for the past 3+ hours. At least I get to finish at 2 today.
>> No. 7767 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 1:43 pm
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>>7766

#oldmanbantz
>> No. 7768 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 11:24 pm
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I have just started a new job, first time working in the uk for a few years. More responsibility than I've ever really had and starting to realise people are taking me seriously and looking to me for help and solutions (I'm a sales account manager).

The idea that, contrary to a few lads up here, if I cock up, serious money is lost, people are upset and end users of our product have their lives seriously hampered is frankly fucking terrifying.

My whole career is made on a tissue thin layers of bullshit covering laziness, general apathy and the intellegence to avoid looking lazy and apathetic. Now I almost feel what I do is important to someone.

I suspect my bullshitting has got me a better job than my abilities actually meet and I am basically terrified someone will out me in an Emporer's new clothes situation.

I guess if I survive for 6 months my abilites will catch the bullshit. Then I'll probably get bored and bullshit my way into another, even less suitable job until I'm running a major global corporation and still have no idea what I am doing.

Oh fuck, I am a future Fred Goodwin!
>> No. 7769 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 11:29 pm
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>>7768
Nobody knows what they are doing, mate. Everyone wings it.
>> No. 7770 Anonymous
12th February 2015
Thursday 11:46 pm
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Peters_principle.png
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>>7768

>I suspect my bullshitting has got me a better job than my abilities actually meet

I expect that many people end up in this kind of position, one way or another.
>> No. 7771 Anonymous
13th February 2015
Friday 12:35 am
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>>7770

I was going to post that there's a whole theory about that until I saw the title of your image. So, never mind.
>> No. 7772 Anonymous
13th February 2015
Friday 1:04 am
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>>7770
>>7771
>>7769

Pretty much. People wonder why companies are so often full of incompetent wankers, and why it's impossible to find a business that doesn't make constant fuck ups and poor service.With this theory it all makes sense- People rarely get demoted, but they keep getting promotions until they are hopelessly out of their depth, and when you scale that up across the whole organisation... It's pretty bleak. The people you get on the front line working in shops or in call centres are often the most competent in the business, not just because their job isn't as demanding but because a lot of the time they are heavily overqualified, unlike most of the people above them.
>> No. 7774 Anonymous
13th February 2015
Friday 7:52 am
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>>7768
>Now I almost feel what I do is important to someone.

Steady on, now lad. The whole point of getting promoted is to take it easy. Your new role should demand a greater skill set, but by no means the same level of intensity. I write quite technical reports, which can be challenging but I can quite happily do them at my own pace, and sometimes I have to lead fairly large teams in projects but the level of pressure and intensity is nothing compared to when I was doing admin work. Delegate and that.
>> No. 7788 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 11:37 am
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Even if you really like the song playing on your headphones, please don't whistle along to it. You're off key.
>> No. 7789 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 2:03 pm
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I'm sat in the canteen and on the next table I'd a woman with verbal diarrhoea and no indoor voice rabbiting on about a load of inane bollocks. She's just been off on one about how the bus driver stopped too far from the kerb this morning and so she had to queue up in the rain to buy her ticket.

When can we legalise involuntary euthanasia?
>> No. 7790 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 2:46 pm
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>>7789
It has been pissing it down something miserable today though.
>> No. 7791 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 3:00 pm
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Finished my lab and went to get something to eat, sat down in the cafe and saw my lab partner across the room. I ran away because I really couldn't be arsed to talk to her any longer. She's French and miserable and making conversation is a massive effort.
>> No. 7792 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 3:25 pm
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>>7791
There's a French girl in one of the offices in the building I used to work in. There was something about her that drove me up the wall, probably her American accent.
>> No. 7793 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 3:26 pm
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>>7791

>She's French and miserable

THE DREAM!?
>> No. 7794 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 3:31 pm
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Sharing an open-plan office doesn't normally bother me that much, because I only pop in here to eat my dinner before going back to the lab, but today I have to actually do some work here and it's sending me around the bend. The lad across the room is slurping his drink, the guy across the desk is using his mouse scroll wheel like he's tryna make it squirt and there's no fucking window.
>> No. 7795 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 3:33 pm
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>>7793
She's extremely pretty, drinks a lot, and has a boyfriend.

Not that it bothers me, dealing with her is a chore. She can be good fun to be around but those moments are thin and far between.

>>7792
She has a weird Australo-American-English accent as a result of going to international schools.
>> No. 7796 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 3:38 pm
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Also I've been jobhunting today and came across this rather odd firm:

http://www.marsandco.com

The website looks like it's straight from 1998, and the blurb is absurd:

>The people who join us have: ..., ..., ..., ...a sense of humor.

Ok, nice, what else?

>Since all of Mars & Co's clients bar none are world-class Corporations, our role at their service is to bring the "exclusive margin of difference" on the global battlefields they're engaged on. By ripping apart the competition as well as identifying and quantifying all opportunities offered by specific market discontinuities, we guarantee our clients a unique competitive edge.

Er... what?
>> No. 7797 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 3:58 pm
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>>7793
If she's French and miserable I assume the dream was one dreamed in time gone by.
>> No. 7798 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 4:00 pm
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>>7796
I guess the first one is saying that you'll need to be able to fit in with the LADS and handle the TOP BANTZ LOL.
>> No. 7799 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 4:01 pm
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>>7797
n1
>> No. 7800 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 4:03 pm
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>>7798
>TOP BANTZ LOL
Without wanting to /101/ this thread any further, I do think this actually makes you look more embarrassing than the people you're trying to make fun of. I'm sure you're a nice chap, though, I hope we can remain friends.
>> No. 7802 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 4:16 pm
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>>7800

Wooosh!
>> No. 7803 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 4:19 pm
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780378037803
>>7795>>7797

THE DREAMERS!
>> No. 7806 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 7:49 pm
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Question;

How does one deal with bullying?

Not the kind that someone actually says or does anything to you, but the one where you're ignored/disrespected, have little passive aggressive things done to you; e.g. turning off things before you're about to use them, occupying something for a unreasonable amount of time, etc.

It's getting ridiculous, because myself and this individual refuse to speak to one another, yet we have to be in the same room, sometimes for hours. Today was especially interesting, as he wiped my playlist off the shared computer and put on his without asking (shit like this make me sound petty). I refuse to get into arguments with him because it might make me look desperate and silly, and he has such an utter shit attitude that'll he just behave like a snarky cunt. I don't want to deal with this.

I've mentioned it to a few collegues, who are on good terms with him, but they don't mention anything useful. He is a few years younger than me, but it's painful how he acts like a LAD all the time, trying to be the top cock on the block - pretending to be friendly with people, then sniggering behind his back. What makes it worse, is he has a little bitch around him that boosts his ego and validates this sort of behaviour.

I'm not in some crisis state, but christ does it make for a shit atmosphere... Is there a solution to this?

I've tried speaking to him during the christmas party but he pretended to agree and was really taking the piss.

Might be better suited for /emo/...
>> No. 7809 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 7:59 pm
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>>7806

>but it's painful how he acts like a LAD all the time

I am an actual Misandrist because of cunts like that. If it weren't for the fact that I'm a man, I'd probably rounding them (us) up into camps.

My name's Anonymous and I've been no help at all.
>> No. 7810 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 8:18 pm
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>>7806
>then sniggering behind his back.

I meant their back.

>>7809
I've posted on /emo/ a long long time ago;

http://britfa.gs/emo/res/18263.html

And very little has changed for the better - we don't speak any more now.

I know this sounds so fucking stupid, I'm 27, and this guy is 23 - and I have no idea why I think about this issue so much, but it really gets to me. Some people have noticed his behaviour, but it's easier to let things slide than to bring them up.
>> No. 7811 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 8:44 pm
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>>7806
If it's just stuff like screwing with a playlist you'll probably have to put up with it; I'm guess that if you had any control over who you work with you'd already have asked to be put with someone else.

Knowing the kind of cunt you're talking about, though, he's probably going to fuck himself over soon enough - he'll say the wrong cocky thing to the wrong person, or do something monumentally stupid that results in him being fired.

If he's doing anything that would be grounds for dismissal, like racist/sexist jokes, damage to company property during "pranks" etc, keep a little document with notes and date/time so that if it ever comes to it, you've got a record of the stunts he's been pulling.

Commiserations.
>> No. 7812 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 8:52 pm
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>>7811
This. Keep a diary of it all.

I've had to listen to my other half go on for months about one of the women at her work constantly making snide comments, some of which were repugnant rather than playful, and now that I've got her to finally complain they've given the woman a formal warning and she's toned it down.
>> No. 7813 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 8:58 pm
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>>7812
I remember that thread, glad to hear something's been done.
>> No. 7814 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 9:00 pm
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>>7813
I'm not the lad who made that thread about his girlfriend working for a firm of racist solicitors in some Southern shithole.
>> No. 7815 Anonymous
16th February 2015
Monday 9:30 pm
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>>7811
>If it's just stuff like screwing with a playlist you'll probably have to put up with it; I'm guess that if you had any control over who you work with you'd already have asked to be put with someone else.

Absolutely, the saving grace is that the rest of the group are some brilliant people that make it worth while - he is certainly the minority. It's a war of attrition in terms of not lashing out.

>he's probably going to fuck himself over soon enough

Funny story actually; he set off a gas-alarm, and got pointed out by our lab supervisor. He turned into this snarky little shit for a second, and I remember our supervisor and having this "wtf mate..." expression. Couldn't have left with a bigger smile on my face.

>like racist/sexist jokes, damage to company property during "pranks" etc,

He isn't either sexist or racist, because of this friendly facade he puts on. I don't think he is an inherently bad person, he is just woefully immature, has a massive ego, and thinks he can ride on the coattails of his former success as a uni rugby star.

Keeping a diary would be a thought, but I generally don't want to dwell on it. The people that sit in his office mention how he is quite disruptive, playing games and generally fucking around with the LADS for LAFFS n' BANTZ.

Anyway thanks for reading all this.
>> No. 7816 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 12:21 am
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Middle class kids working part time so they can "learn the value of money".

Ugh.

Where to even begin? Firstly I suppose, they do fuck-all. They may learn the nominal value of banknotes by putting them in a till occasionally but they sure as fuck are not learning the true value of money and much less the value of hard work.

Everything you ask of them is half-arsed and of poor quality, as if it's the first time they've ever been required to perform basic tasks like mopping a floor, putting products in order, placing items on a shelf, providing customer service, tidying up, answering the phone...I could go on. It is abundantly clear from their attitudes that they view proper work as something which is beneath them - a passing discomfort which must be endured until they are somehow spontaneously showered with money, power and praise for simply existing. They are unskilled and unjustifiably arrogant.

The other day I fixed a laminating machine at work. I'm not an engineer or an electronics graduate but I figured it was just a heating element, a motor and a PCB in a plastic box so I popped it open and had a look. Sure enough a wire was loose and dangling in the path of the paper passing through the machine. A weekender came and stood over me, doing nothing productive while he watched me work. After establishing what I was doing and why, he began to comment on how "impossible" it was to fix technology, how I was going to get in trouble for "breaking" the laminator, how I would "never do it", speaking to me as if I were some bumbling delusional simpleton poking a fork into a toaster. I bit my tongue and resisted the urge to pull rank and tear him down a few pegs. After about 10 minutes I quietly put the machine back together and began laminating the documents I needed. He looked at me with a mixture of surprise, awe and fear - as if I had just shat a gold ingot. At this point he silently fucked off, only to be bollocked by the boss for delivering shit customer service earlier in the day. ANYWAY - the point is, these privileged little cream puffs have never ever done anything for themselves. If something needs fixing - someone else does it, a problem needs solving - someone else solves it, something is dirty - someone else cleans it. There's no grit, no tenacity and no real skill in these milk sop human dumplings. They'll probably all end up doing some piss-easy overpaid office job where moaning and bitching earns you a pay rise.

I sometimes wonder if in millennia to come, the pompous self-regarding middle classes will have evolved pendulous trunk-like noses which engorge and extend with lustful snobbery whenever they need to peer down them at common folk.
>> No. 7817 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 12:29 am
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>>7816

Working class kids are equally fuckwitted, just in slightly different ways.
>> No. 7818 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 12:58 am
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>>7816
>as if it's the first time they've ever been required to perform basic tasks like mopping a floor, putting products in order, placing items on a shelf, providing customer service, tidying up, answering the phone

It's almost like they're kids who are doing most of these things in a work environment for the first time.

>proper work

So you dump all the shit jobs on the people least used to working (and with least reason to put up with it), and wonder why they aren't fulfilled by all this 'proper' work?

You're being incredibly short-sighted and bitter, which I can only assume is due to working all your life and not managing to reach a position of significantly greater responsibility that an unskilled teenager could get. But hey, with great role-models like yourself I'm sure these no-good teenagers will really learn how to become successful members of society in no time!
>> No. 7819 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 1:17 am
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>>7793
I want to fuck my lab partner now.
>> No. 7820 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 7:19 am
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>>7818
Not him, but I tend to agree with him. You get this later on as well - in the lab the internationals are the ones towing the line, cleaning after themselves, using common sense while the Brits - who are young but by no means kids, are fucking up in the most basic of ways.

Any shared reagents that need to be kept frozen are usually nackered after a week because they don't understand that biochemicals are heat sensitive. Putting stuff away is rarely done cos 'they forgot and it's not a big deal', having to mention any of this to them will result in sulking and back talk.

These are some toxic habits that make the British youth less than desirable to work with.
>> No. 7821 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 1:13 pm
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>>7789
HELP ME LADS.

SHE'S JUST SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME AND SHE WON'T SHUT UP.
>> No. 7822 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 1:30 pm
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>>7821

Link her to .gs!
>> No. 7824 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 2:32 pm
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>>7789
I have one of these too. Even better, it's one of those bifluid genderpan fairyqueers who somehow thinks insisting that she's a man while wearing nail varnish and certainly talking as much as any other bint does will somehow relieve her of the crushing mediocrity of her existence.

I am, however, milking it for all it's worth by making her pay me to fix her phone, presumably so she can whine even more about hashtags on Twitter. £50 for a piece of piss screen repair. I'd do it for free if she'd just shut the fuck up for half an hour, and could answer a simple question of "are you on double shifts this week?" without an extensive run down of her social life and whichever sad rainbow-haired "cuddle partners" she's ensnared in her particular brand of collective madness.
>> No. 7825 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 2:39 pm
7825 spacer
>>7824

I think you need to relax, man.
>> No. 7826 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 3:07 pm
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>>7825

No, I think he should stay just as he is.
>> No. 7828 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 5:02 pm
7828 spacer
I guess staying on the dole is better than this shit I am reading. I don't think I could last. I would maybe kill myself, or maybe murder everyone else around me.
>> No. 7829 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 5:07 pm
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>>7828

I used to tell my emo friends that; "don't kill yourself, just kill everyone else".

I was a good friend.
>> No. 7830 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 5:15 pm
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>>7826

Nah, he should relax. You're wrong.
>> No. 7832 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 6:06 pm
7832 spacer
>>7828
If you work with a relatively small number of people who aren't cunts, don't have a cunt for a manager and don't have cunts for customers or suppliers then you're alright.
>> No. 7833 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 7:09 pm
7833 spacer
>>7832
The likelihood of that happening is like winning the lottery. Life is cunting.
>> No. 7834 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 7:46 pm
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>>7832
Then it's quite a high chance that you're the cunt in the equation.
>> No. 7835 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 9:17 pm
7835 spacer
I had to work with someone with really bad breath, like a mixture of plaque and pork. It also makes me paranoid that my breath smells but people are too polite to tell me.
>> No. 7836 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 9:46 pm
7836 spacer
>>7828
Getting paid is really, really good though. It makes the whole thing worth it.
>> No. 7837 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 10:05 pm
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>>7836

Yeah, it's great to not get jailed for using the things you need to survive. Good bless money.
>> No. 7838 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 10:17 pm
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>>7837
Give it a rest lad.
>> No. 7839 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 10:39 pm
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>>7837
Who's talking about survival? Paid employment allows you to live a more luxurious lifestyle. In theory, of course - we all know the poor and the unemployed are getting spat on more with each passing day.
>> No. 7840 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 10:44 pm
7840 spacer
>>7818
>It's almost like they're kids who are doing most of these things in a work environment for the first time.

I fail to see how getting off your arse to perform basic tasks in a workplace environment for the first time is any different to getting off your arse to perform basic tasks in any other environment. How utterly moronic do you have to be to not be able to work a mop? A fucking mop for fuck sake. There's no conceptual complexity or technical difficulty to master.

>you dump all the shit jobs on the people least used to working
No, we expect everyone to do their fair share of shit jobs but ultimately it comes down to what needs doing and who is available to do it.

You seem awfully bumsore and over-keen to cast me as some kind of resentful underachiever. Are you possibly a blancmange-brained middle class twerp by any chance? Think carefully now. It may not be immediately obvious to you at first.
>> No. 7841 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 10:56 pm
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>>7840
>There's no conceptual complexity
I have a problem with the concept. As soon as you put the mop in the bucket of water after the first wipe, the water becomes dirty. Thus, with every subsequent wipe, you are inevitably transferring some dirt back onto the floor. All you're really doing is making the dirt wet and moving it around. It often looks worse than before because the water makes it gather into unsightly clumps.

Of course much of this is solved with the fancy modern mops, with mechanical squeezy devices and so forth, but the traditional mop and bucket is just terrible.
>> No. 7842 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 11:15 pm
7842 spacer
>>7841
>All you're really doing is making the dirt wet and moving it around.

That's why you do a preliminary brush-up first. Mopping is for finishing the job off.
>> No. 7843 Anonymous
17th February 2015
Tuesday 11:44 pm
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>>7842
Bloody hell, I thought this was evident. All you do is move dirt around - you need to sweep the place first then mop it. Makes me think some of us are human dumplings...
>> No. 7844 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 2:50 am
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>>7830
Mate, if you had to suffer this boring bitch's inane prattle for an 8 hour shift you'd find it hard to not foster some mild seething hatred too.

>>7826
Word.
>> No. 7846 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 7:25 am
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>>7840>>7841
Christ, lads. Pack it in already.
>> No. 7848 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 7:34 am
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>>7844

You still gotta relax, man, you just gotta keep relaxing. More, more, more and more.
>> No. 7849 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 7:46 am
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>>7846
Oh shut the fuck up you fucking cunt. CHRIST CHRIST CHRIST in every fucking thread, you're a fucking broken record.
>> No. 7850 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 7:53 am
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>>7849
Mate, it was Shrove Tuesday yesterday so show a little respect. Thanks to Christ our Saviour we got to eat pancakes yesterday and chocolate eggs in 40 days time. We're not Seppos, so acting like an edgy atheist teenlad is completely uncalled for.
>> No. 7851 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 8:35 am
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>>7849

Oh, maplad.
>> No. 7853 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 4:55 pm
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>>7851
Oh, teenlad.
>> No. 7854 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 5:02 pm
7854 spacer
>>7853

That's not really how that works, m8. Context is everything.
>> No. 7855 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 6:54 pm
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>>7854
Fuck off cloakfag.
>> No. 7856 Anonymous
18th February 2015
Wednesday 7:57 pm
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>>7855
Mate, bikethief, just do one.
>> No. 7857 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 11:18 am
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>>1795
Bullied-lad here, came across this and it essentially lists the exact traits I'm dealing with on a daily basis:

http://www.kickbully.com/hidden.html

I've decided to bring this up with my supervisor, although I won't mention names, I will say this is bothering me and may affect my work.
>> No. 7858 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 11:49 am
7858 spacer
I work in an office of a company that deals with exporting machine tools to Germany, which is my particular specialisation, but this doesn't stop fishwives across the office constantly asking me "Oh, so you speak German then?" before demanding to know "What does this German word mean then?" before giving me a word without any hint of context.
It just annoys me, because knowing another language doesn't usually manifest itself in that way, you have to be in that particular swing of things to then produce the required amount of noise or writing.
>> No. 7859 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 2:55 pm
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>>7857
You sound anal and annoying to be honest. I would hate to work with a cunt like you.
>> No. 7860 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 6:49 pm
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>>7857
Working with an arsehole and "being bullied" are not the same thing.
>> No. 7861 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:16 pm
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>>7860
No, the two are not mutually exclusive. He is a prick in every right, but also uses a stealthy way of being passive aggressive towards me.

>>7859
n1m8, wont no... etc...


Glad to hear neither of you have been in this situation and never had to dread the prospect of coming to work each week, anticipating what some egocentric cunt is going to do to make you feel that little more worthless.
>> No. 7862 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:28 pm
7862 spacer
>A top woman lawyer who claims she was sacked for objecting to her boss circulating a nude portrait of his wife had “the maturity of an eight-year-old”, a tribunal heard.

>Katherine Attisha, head of human resources at Fidelity, said Ms Rowe “would often be directly critical, frequently focus on the negative and also had a tendency to personalise her attacks”. She described Ms Rowe’s emails as “often very blunt” and carrying a “negative undertone”.

>But Ms Rowe said she was perceived as aggressive because her emails used red and capitals, which she did not realise was considered shouting.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/i-was-sacked-because-i-objected-to-boss-showing-me-a-nude-portrait-of-his-wife-claims-lawyer-10051174.html

If I ran my own company and one of my employees sent all of their emails in a red font and capital letters I'd sack them on the spot.
>> No. 7863 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:40 pm
7863 spacer
>>7862
>But Ms Rowe said she was perceived as aggressive because her emails used red and capitals, which she did not realise was considered shouting.
Nobody under the age of 60 should even think they could get a pass for this.
>> No. 7864 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:46 pm
7864 spacer
>>7863
She's 65. There's images of them in the Mail and they all look like complete bellends. The best picture is the one of his wife stood next to the naked portrait of herself in the gallery, I'm trying to read her face but I don't know what emotion she's trying to convey.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2956251/High-flier-s-sex-discrimination-claim-Lawyer-sacked-objecting-boss-showing-wife-s-nude-portrait.html
>> No. 7865 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:49 pm
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>>7861
Honestly, you big baby. How are you letting some twat younger than you make you post on an imageboard? How is this bullying? Fuck off. Maybe you are the cunt in this situation, and you need a good bollocking. Fucking cunt.

Oh no, he deleted my playlist.
Fuck off, lad. Fuck off.
>> No. 7866 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:54 pm
7866 spacer
>>7865

Oh, ragelad.
>> No. 7867 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:54 pm
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>>7865
Not that, that's only the tip of it really. I'm posting on an anonymous imageboard, so there is no skin off my back, but please stop foaming at the mouth and cheers for the reasonable, and well-structured reply, I will save it for future reference.
>> No. 7868 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:57 pm
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>>7866
Fuck off.

>>7867
Honestly. Fucking honestly; have a word with yourself. If your "bully" isn't directly calling you names, or stealing your lunch money, then you need to grow a pair and shut up. This isn't Year 5, stop complaining like a first-time pregnant bitch with morning sickness.
>> No. 7869 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 10:59 pm
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>>7868
Not him and I think you need to piss off back to the dark ages when 'grow a pair' was considered sage advice.
>> No. 7870 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 11:00 pm
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>>7869
It still holds true today. Take that tampon out, and stop having a teary about some twat. You have been doing this for over a week now, lad. Fucking hell.
>> No. 7871 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 11:03 pm
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attenborough.jpg
787178717871
>>7868

Ape like fists, smashing into the keyboard in a hail of spittle through gnashed teeth, the lesser spotted ragelad attempts to attract a mate.

Lets watch...
>> No. 7872 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 11:04 pm
7872 spacer
>>7870
This is a thread called 'workplace annoyances'. If you don't want to know about people's workplace annoyances why the fuck are you reading it?
>> No. 7873 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 11:10 pm
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>>7869
Thirding this. Tone it down a bit, >>7868, you can make the point that he's overreacting if you want to but there's really no need to be such a cunt about it.
>> No. 7874 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 11:35 pm
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>>7868
Superb advice there m80, hope you never impart any sort of wisdom to friends or perhaps unfortunate offspring you might squirt out.

I might be overreacting but I'd rather do it here and remain anonymous. It's an issue that's bothered me for a year and I wanted to know if there was anyone else in s similar position. I know everyone likes to act like billy big bollox, but "growing a pair" is a little childish and simplistic and is part this cancerous LAD culture.
>> No. 7875 Anonymous
19th February 2015
Thursday 11:47 pm
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>>7870
I can't help but notice that you haven't managed to piss off back to the dark ages. Is there any particular reason for your failure to piss off?
>> No. 7876 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 12:01 am
7876 spacer
What's so bad about saying "grow a pair?" When did you lot get pussy-whipped by the feminists?
>> No. 7877 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 12:03 am
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>>7876
What's so good about it? And who mentioned "the feminists"?
>> No. 7878 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 12:13 am
7878 spacer
>>7877
I assumed it was the feminists. Grow a pair just means man up. What's so bad about it? Someone help me understand. I don't want to say it out in public. Is it like saying "cunt" in America? (Something I don't understand too).
>> No. 7879 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 12:32 am
7879 spacer
>>7878
It's the worst advice you can possibly give someone. It's meaningless. It's empty. It's telling someone to solve their problem by ignoring it. And not just ignore it, but do so because you, personally, don't consider it important. It's suggesting that you are a 'man' because you are able to deal with the problem better than the victim, even if you actually had experienced it, which you haven't. It's suggesting that everyone is the same, with the same temperament and the same level of self-confidence.

In short, it's moronic.
>> No. 7880 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 1:14 am
7880 spacer
>>7879
>It's telling someone to solve their problem by ignoring it.
This is the solution to many a problem. Another solution, as solved by "grow a pair", is simply accepting it and getting on with it.

>It's suggesting that everyone is the same, with the same temperament and the same level of self-confidence.

So you're a poor weak useless bloke who everyone has to pull up else he falls down. Great, well done for singling yourself out as someone who should be left behind for being too pathetic for having to deal with what everyone else has done.
>> No. 7881 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 1:38 am
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>>7880
Are you the objectivist cunt from that /pol/ thread?
>> No. 7882 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:19 am
7882 spacer
>>7881
No, Maplad. They are not all the same person.
>> No. 7883 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:20 am
7883 spacer
>>7881
I don't know what you're referring to. I need to grow a pair with regard to some situations, so no, not very objective.
>> No. 7884 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:21 am
7884 spacer
>>7882
There's actually two of us.
>> No. 7885 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:25 am
7885 spacer
Some UKIP target seats

>North East Cambridgeshire seems like a rather odd choice to begin with, it doesn’t look like an obvious place for UKIP success and while Ashcroft doesid find UKIP in second place, the poll gives the Conservatives a very solid 21 point lead. (detailled tabs)The polls in the other three seats were much closer though…
>In South Basildon and East Thurrock Ashcroft found a clear, but not entirely comfortable, Tory lead of 6 points – Conservatives 35%, UKIP 29%. Labour were in an extremely close third place on 28%, so it’s a fairly even split between the three parties with plenty of potential for tactical voting to change the result (detailled tabs)
>In Boston and Skegness Ashcroft found a close race, with the Conservatives just ahead. Topline figures are CON 38%, LAB 17%, LDEM 5%, UKIP 35%. (detailled tabs) Note that this was one of the seats that Survation had previously polled for Alan Bown, the UKIP donor, back in September. Ashcroft’s three point Tory lead is in complete contrast to the Survation poll which showed a twenty point UKIP lead.
>Castle Point was closest of all, essentially neck and neck between the Conservatives and UKIP. Topline figures there were CON 37%, LAB 16%, LDEM 3%, UKIP 36% (detailled tabs)

I'm still convinced 40% of the people who claim they'll vote UKIP will abandon ship and vote Conservative come the general election, and that's a big reason why I think the Tories will win.
>> No. 7886 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:26 am
7886 spacer
>>7884

Depressing.
>> No. 7887 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:44 am
7887 spacer
>>7886
Inspirational. If only you were willing to vote for somebody who didn't represent the monied elite or a special circle of 'enlightened' university graduates trying to seize an entire political spectrum. The merits of UKIP regardless, the fact that people are willing to vote another way is fantastic in itself.
>> No. 7888 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 3:20 am
7888 spacer
>>7887
>vote for somebody who didn't represent the monied elite or a special circle of 'enlightened' university graduates trying to seize an entire political spectrum
Well that rules UKIP out then.
>> No. 7889 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 4:24 am
7889 spacer
>>7884
>There's actually two of us.
One day the blindfold will be lifted from their eyes kameraden.
>> No. 7890 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 7:13 am
7890 spacer
Have I ended up on /pol/ by mistake?
>> No. 7891 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 11:25 am
7891 spacer
Forgot about half-term and the roads being quiet so got to work over half an hour early today, so I'm mentally ready for my lunch now. At least I'll clock off early.

Anyway, this happened this morning:

"Can I pass you this file? I need these forms sending out and it's a new client so they'll need their details adding the system."
>Yeah sure, if that's all that needs doing.

*A couple of hours later*

>I can't find this client on the system, so I can't save the forms against them on the system.
"Yeah, it's a new client. All of their details are in the file I gave you when I said you'd need to add them on."
>SO IT'S NOT JUST SENDING THIS FORM OFF THEN?

Fucking menstrual admin women. Fuck off back to talking about EastEnders.
>> No. 7892 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 11:45 am
7892 spacer
>>7891
Are they getting angry because they have to do their job?

Fuck relying on people though, in 80% of cases you'll face disappointment and be clenching your teeth at some of the laziness you come across.
>> No. 7893 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 12:33 pm
7893 spacer
>>7892
Yes. I'm not going to be a knobhead and pull rank or treat them as inferior, but they're paid to process this shit and I'm not; I'm one of the people writing the business that pays their fucking wages.
>> No. 7894 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 1:05 pm
7894 spacer
>>7892
>Are they getting angry because they have to do their job?
This shit annoys me no end. There are two million people out there who would be more than happy to do that job if they don't want to do it.
>> No. 7898 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:03 pm
7898 spacer
>>7893
This new lad started working in my building and needed permanent access so it took no less than 3 weeks for a secretary to punch in a few keystrokes and give him a card. Needless to say, instead of spelling his name Adam Smith, they spelt it Adam Adam and he was back at square one.

Christ_on_a_bike
>> No. 7899 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:13 pm
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>>7892
>>7898
Why is it that admin staff seem to be able to get away with apathy and incompetence?
>> No. 7900 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:14 pm
7900 spacer
>>7899

Because you'll never stop us, you coward! Ahahahaha!
>> No. 7901 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 2:45 pm
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>>7898
When I started in my current job my welcome letter said 'Dear Kevin', who turned out to be the person joining before me. The HR bint just overwrites the same templates without bothering to properly check she hasn't left any details in about the person she used it for last.

>>7899
It's a job predominantly consisting of middle aged women. I don't know if any further explanation is necessary.
>> No. 7902 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 3:13 pm
7902 spacer
>>7901

I was once sent home from school with a letter saying I'd "through a chair".* Definitely took a bit of the heat off me. A bit.

*I had a goodish reason.
>> No. 7903 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 4:24 pm
7903 spacer
My office employs quite a few Polish and Eastern Europeans as admin staff. It's heaven, everything gets done right and on time.
>> No. 7904 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 4:35 pm
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>>7899

It's Gemma from HR's job to fuck shit up, every time, all the time.
>> No. 7905 Anonymous
20th February 2015
Friday 4:44 pm
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>>7904
Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach work in HR.
>> No. 7906 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:01 am
7906 spacer
>>7874
>Superb advice there m80
Just look at this passive-aggressive, sarcastic tone. This post alone says more about you than the cunt who bullies you. It is almost like you are a middle-aged woman. Get a grip, lad.
>> No. 7907 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:12 am
7907 spacer

1424252954863.jpg
790779077907
>>7906

Well, aren't you a Billy Big-Bollocks.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 7908 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:14 am
7908 spacer
>>7907
Lad...
>> No. 7909 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:15 am
7909 spacer
>>7906
Give it a rest you boring cunt.
>> No. 7910 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:22 am
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>>7909
Are you going to have a teary about an imageboard next?
>> No. 7911 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:25 am
7911 spacer
>>7908

Wind you neck in, did you even read it? Find me a better summary of lad culture in a single image and I'll have as many words with myself as you feel are appropriate.
>> No. 7912 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:30 am
7912 spacer
>>7911
Not him, I cracked up.
>> No. 7913 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:48 am
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>>7912
If only he had included the word cheeky in there.
>> No. 7914 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 3:11 am
7914 spacer
Has .gs gone full cunt-off recently? Why?

Kiss and make up, cunts.
>> No. 7915 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 3:46 am
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>>7911
I have zero positive things to say about lad culture, but that image kind of reeks of the rage of a late teens/early twenties jealous nerd to be honest.
>> No. 7916 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 4:10 am
7916 spacer
>>7914
It's just 3 suicidal cunts.
>> No. 7917 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 7:57 am
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>>7913
Weird, I was sure he was professing a wish for a cheeky Nando's, but I must have manufactured the memory.
>> No. 7918 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 9:16 am
7918 spacer
>>7915

This reeks of a touched nerve, to be honest.
>> No. 7919 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 9:26 am
7919 spacer
>>7914

Newlads trying to fit in/forgetting they aren't on 4chan, probably. The lad telling people to fuck off all the time is the main offender. He is just an angry person and he is stinking up the atmosphere because he doesn't enjoy being alive, presumably.

Usual protocol doesn't really apply, because they think they are trolling us when we take the piss out of them because it just goes over their heads.

If purple gets caught up in it even once, he'll go full Wolvie berserk with the banhammer. Just bide your time.
>> No. 7920 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 10:20 am
7920 spacer
>>7919
He is obviously projecting his ex-bullying ways because his uncle touched his bum-hole and he is still mad about it. The council-house culture told him to "grow a pair" instead of dealing with it in a rational manner, so when he sees anyone asking for advice, although a little sappy, he starts foaming and smashing his ape-like fists into the innocent keyboard.

>>7915
Speak for yourself mate, I think even LADS know they are cancerous but have been in it for too long to get out of it.
>> No. 7921 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 12:58 pm
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>>7920
You are funny.
>> No. 7931 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 3:09 pm
7931 spacer
Is "grow a pair" going to get word filtered?
>> No. 7932 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 3:14 pm
7932 spacer
>>7931

Do you think they'd tell the likes of us if it were?
>> No. 7933 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 3:24 pm
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>>7931
Seems like not if >>7920 is to be believed. I think he doth protest too much about the fist-keyboard interface though.
>> No. 7935 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 3:26 pm
7935 spacer
>>7931

I recommend "check your privilege".
>> No. 7936 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 3:35 pm
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vZmavHR.jpg
793679367936
I think we should dust off and nuke the last 50 posts from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
>> No. 7937 Anonymous
21st February 2015
Saturday 3:51 pm
7937 spacer
>>7898

I recently called up a prospective employer to ask for an application form, the person on the other end made a note of having me spell my surname. It arrived today and luckily, Andrea from HR was there to not only spell my surname incorrectly but also to give me an entirely different forename on her letter.
>> No. 7939 Anonymous
22nd February 2015
Sunday 9:38 pm
7939 spacer
Minor work gripe/

Recently started at a new place. It has 2 single toilets, the 1 toilet and sink kind of set up with a lock.

One is for men and one is for women as you would expect.

Since starting I have seen a man use the ladies and a woman use the mens when the others were full. When I was busting for a piss and the gents was occupied (and stinking like death through the locked door as someone was obviously taking a 20 min shite) I cracked and went to the ladies. One quick and tidy piss and handwash later I walk out to find a a lady waiting for the loo.

She wasn't angry or anything but laughed at me in a very ambiguous way, I'm not sure if she was just bantering and what i had done was acceptable or she was using humour to cover the fact she now thinks I am a complete werido.

So I suppose my gripe is; people who use opposite gender toilets, tricking me into doing the same as though its acceptable and then it not being clear if it is accpetable or not.

....
>> No. 7940 Anonymous
22nd February 2015
Sunday 9:54 pm
7940 spacer
>>7939
You should have told her that the other toilet the person was taking a shit in was the real women's toilet.

Toilecption
>> No. 7941 Anonymous
22nd February 2015
Sunday 10:02 pm
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>>7939

Also on my point.

People who shit at work when the toilets are not suitable. If its massive toilet with multiple cubicles then shit away, if there is basically one plywood door between you and the work are and everyone has to share that one toilet just fucking hold it in.

A hangover exception is allowed.
>> No. 7942 Anonymous
22nd February 2015
Sunday 10:18 pm
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>>7941
My office is horseshoe shaped, with the main toilets in the middle so everyone can hear you wee. It's why I use the toilets downstairs to poo, although there's someone else who stinks out the main male toilet every morning.
>> No. 7943 Anonymous
23rd February 2015
Monday 11:15 am
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>>7941
There's this lad in from the chemistry dept., that takes a massive haggard shite in the morning, on cue, everyday. And as you'd imagine, he's a big lad, really big, eats shite - probably has an egg and bean roll on his way to work, washed down with half a gallon of coffee.

I think at this point I don't smell it anymore as my nose has accustomed to it.
>> No. 7944 Anonymous
23rd February 2015
Monday 12:52 pm
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>>7943

>I think at this point I don't smell it anymore as my nose has accustomed to it.

That's a depressing state of affairs.
>> No. 7945 Anonymous
24th February 2015
Tuesday 12:29 pm
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>>7941

If you can't treat your workplace as you would your home (at least as far as bodily functions are concerned) then it really must be a quite depressing job. I wouldn't even wish my worst enemy to have to work an entire shift dying for a shit.
>> No. 7946 Anonymous
24th February 2015
Tuesday 12:46 pm
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>>7945
This. It's my body and I'll crap if I want to. Yes, awful timing, I know.
>> No. 7947 Anonymous
25th February 2015
Wednesday 11:21 am
7947 spacer
Apparently I can't change my password to one I used a couple of years ago, but I'm fine to go from 'Newpassword99', to 'Newpassword88' to 'Newpassword77' no problem.
>> No. 7948 Anonymous
25th February 2015
Wednesday 11:49 am
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>>7947
My fucking work security makes me change my password once every two weeks. I'm running out of footballers.
>> No. 7949 Anonymous
25th February 2015
Wednesday 2:47 pm
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vennegoor.jpg
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>>7948
Unless you work for an intelligence, other government agency or something to do with research, I fail to see the point in buggering about with passwords. I only have to sort mine out once a year. Thankfully.
>> No. 7950 Anonymous
25th February 2015
Wednesday 3:05 pm
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>>7949
Ian Vinegar of Hessle Road!
>> No. 7951 Anonymous
25th February 2015
Wednesday 3:17 pm
7951 spacer
>>7950
Sounds like the second paragraph of a local news report.
>Ian Vinegar of Hessle Road pleaded guilty to fourteen counts of sexual intercourse with a car without a licence...
>> No. 7952 Anonymous
25th February 2015
Wednesday 3:35 pm
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>>7949

IT department needs some busywork otherwise their job would be 100% sat around watching youtube instead of just 95%.
>> No. 7953 Anonymous
25th February 2015
Wednesday 3:45 pm
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>>7952
Matthew Holness' appearance in The Office is spot on.
>> No. 7954 Anonymous
25th February 2015
Wednesday 4:07 pm
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>>7949
It's technical r+d and often does defence projects.
>> No. 7964 Anonymous
26th February 2015
Thursday 10:23 am
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>>7952
Our IT manager is in the office two days a week, at most, and spends the rest of the time 'working from home.' I don't think I've ever seen him actually do any work and I've been here nearly four years.
>> No. 8027 Anonymous
6th March 2015
Friday 11:50 am
8027 spacer
Has anyone worked in a group where there are predominantly young people? Like where the manager has got no balls, and is a yes man - so the workers can have their own way, lest there be pouting, shouting, and overall teenager-esque behaviour?

Let me tell you it's hell, and I sound like a miserable shite, but honestly it's like something out of Lord of the Flies...
>> No. 8028 Anonymous
6th March 2015
Friday 12:12 pm
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>>7953

He was better in Bruiser.

https://www.youtube.com/v/02a723LsoFA
>> No. 8029 Anonymous
6th March 2015
Friday 12:44 pm
8029 spacer
>>8028

I was thinking he sounded like someone I knew once then I realised it was me. Not all the time, I swear. Emphasis on the "like" btw.
>> No. 8060 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 2:48 pm
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We've ran out of milk, thanks to THE PORRIDGE HOG.
>> No. 8061 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 3:02 pm
8061 spacer
>>8060
So buy more milk. Where do you work that would skimp on a 99p bottle of milk?
>> No. 8062 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 3:18 pm
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>>8061
Where do you live that milk is sold in bottles?
>> No. 8064 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 3:34 pm
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>>8062
Oh Canadalad.
>> No. 8065 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 3:46 pm
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>>8061
There's a man who delivers it a couple of times a milk. However you can guarantee she'll use it up again with her mountains of porridge, shovelling it into her mouth with her porky little trotters while snuffling and snorting with glee.
>> No. 8066 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 4:29 pm
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>>8065
>a couple of times a milk
You really do have it stuck on the brain, don't you?
>> No. 8067 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 4:38 pm
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>>8066
Best place for it.
>> No. 8068 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 5:58 pm
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>>8060

I really want to bring porridge to work, but the milk issue is a bit of a hindrance:

A) I use works milk, and people think I've a twat for using all the milk.
B) I bring my own milk, and someone else sees it and uses it.
C) I bring my own milk and people think it's weird that I'm bringing my own milk.
D) I bring those pots you just add water to, but they're shite and expensive.

There's just no way I can win.


Also on the topic of milk, I want to try raw milk, but I'd have to order it over the internet and that's a bit of a hassle, and also I don't want to die of tuberculosis.
>> No. 8069 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 6:11 pm
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>>8068

Powdered milk.
>> No. 8071 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 6:13 pm
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>>8068
I've tried raw milk in India, it's lovely.

Go with option b) but just label it "For porridge" or something.

Better yet, bring milk in a thermos flask.
>> No. 8072 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 6:17 pm
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>>8068
Find a cow and suck it direct from their tit.

You could always prepare the porridge at home and then microwave it at work.
>> No. 8073 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 6:17 pm
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>>8068>>8071

Or you could all just stop being such big girls blouses and make your porridge with water.
>> No. 8074 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 6:24 pm
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>>8073

With salt, to eliminate any possible risk of enjoying it.
>> No. 8075 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 6:40 pm
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>>8068

take in full fat. A., it is delicious, and B., nobody likes using full fat in their tea for some reason.

Write your name on the bottle with thick black marker too.
>> No. 8076 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 6:50 pm
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>>8074

I honestly assumed it was only children and the mentally impaired who eat for enjoyment. Surely as adults we can find less prosaic means of entertainment than cramming delicious yummy food down our gaping maws.
>> No. 8077 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 7:05 pm
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>>8074
When I was at uni I'd put a load of oats in a mug, then add some honey and then some boiled water. It was OK.
>> No. 8078 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 7:36 pm
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>>8077

Most "instant oats" come with milk powder and sweetener already added.
>> No. 8079 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 7:36 pm
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>>8076

What do you think the insides of restaurants look like?
>> No. 8080 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 8:20 pm
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>>8075
The only person I know who regularly drinks full fat milk is my dad and he pulls his shorts/trousers all the way down when he has a wee.
>> No. 8081 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 8:23 pm
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>>8077

When I was at uni I made a cup of tea with just water from the hot tap. I think I got banned for posting about it here.
>> No. 8082 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 9:08 pm
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>>8080

/fat/lads do this, too. Got to get your macros right, bruv.

People should be moving past their fear of fats, by now. It does also taste good.
>> No. 8084 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 10:59 pm
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808480848084
I fucking love full fat milk. Dairy products can never be too creamy. In fact, if it was me what did the shopping, we'd never even have normal milk. Just this stuff.
>> No. 8085 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 11:17 pm
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FeelsGoodManBlackSS[1].png
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>>8080
Sorry

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 8086 Anonymous
10th March 2015
Tuesday 11:44 pm
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>>8081
At least you didn't put the teabag directly into the kettle in the name of science.

https://www.youtube.com/v/1ywQP5v0Maw
>> No. 8087 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 12:14 am
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>>8086

Actually, yes, that was me too.

At least I didn't stick my knob in a cup of tea.

probably
>> No. 8088 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 1:13 pm
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My girlfriend is on a training course for how to encourage underachieving kids. Apparently you do this by pretending to grate cheese and saying "grate... grate... GRATE JOB", pretending to sizzle a steak before saying "WELL DONE" and clapping like a seal before saying "SEAL OF APPROVAL". They've also done team building where they all have to hold hands and keep a balloon up in the air while the Mission Impossible theme plays in the background.

The course was £200 per head. This is where the education budget is going.
>> No. 8089 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 2:54 pm
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>>8088
Why would you want to encourage kids for underachieving?
>> No. 8090 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 3:46 pm
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>>8089
It's in their interest to keep a few thickos, as I'm sure they get extra funding for it. Plus, if the kids get too bloody clever they'll probably replace teachers with robots, iPads or webinars.
>> No. 8091 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 4:00 pm
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>>8090

I work for a local authority and this is a known perverse incentive. Thick kids do indeed mean more funding and yet thanks to the process of delegation there is no way to make sure that money goes towards helping them.

I'm starting to think that's why central government are underfunding LAs and then offering increasing amounts of grant monies - to beat the system.
>> No. 8092 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 5:45 pm
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>>8091
>there is no way to make sure that money goes towards helping them.

Evidently it's going on airy fairy training courses. Wouldn't surprise me if there's a conflict of interest between the people booking the training and those doing the training.
>> No. 8093 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 6:44 pm
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>>8088
Please tell me that your girlfriend teaches infant school children...
>> No. 8094 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 7:31 pm
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>>8093
Secondary school, apparently one of the best state schools in the area. Although, from what she's told me, some of the low ability kids would find Year 3/4 to be about their level.
>> No. 8095 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 8:05 pm
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>>8092

IMO it's just a symptom of societal denial of the lack of opportunities for many young people. We hope against hope that some kind of intervention will make thick kids not thick, to avoid confronting the reality that we just don't have jobs for them. Education becomes a pseudo-religious totem, the implicit belief being that everyone will get to live a good life if only they have a BTEC in Media Studies. If you cling on to that belief, you don't have to address the difficult social and economic questions.

This deception lets us have it both ways. We get to blame young people for failing to "take advantage of their educational opportunities" when the token qualifications we told them to get turn out to be useless. It's not our fault for failing to replace the jobs lost in heavy industry or building a decent welfare state, it's their fault for not getting the right qualifications. We give young people the illusion of control, so that we can attribute society's failures to their decisions.

The lack of accountability in education is wilful, because then we don't have to confront how utterly ineffective this approach is. We measure arbitrary and irrelevant things like GCSE pass rates, to distract from meaningful things like youth unemployment and real wages. Another no-win situation for young people - if you get bad grades then you're blamed for being lazy, but good grades just mean that the exams must be getting easier.

Educationalists recite cheery slogans and glib soundbites to distract themselves and us from the reality - that a great many young people will end up on the scrapheap, drifting between unemployment and poorly-paid, insecure work for the rest of their lives. The education we offer is of no help to them, just a political charade, like the North Koreans painting the dirt green and proclaiming their agricultural success.
>> No. 8096 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 9:57 pm
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>>8095
There's chronic shortages in the construction and engineering industries. I really don't get why children are steered away from the vocational route and instead shephereded into something like a BTEC in Media Studies and, further down the line, a job in a call centre. No doubt they'd still see someone working as a mechanic or a plumber as beneath them.

The Institute of Policy Research have even said that youth employment is considerably lower in parts of the country where the vocational route is as clear as the academic route.
>> No. 8097 Anonymous
11th March 2015
Wednesday 9:58 pm
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>>8096
>shephereded

An early night it is for me, then. Night, lads.
>> No. 8133 Anonymous
18th March 2015
Wednesday 3:31 pm
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18th March - the first wars about the temperature of the office this year have begun.
>> No. 8134 Anonymous
18th March 2015
Wednesday 4:57 pm
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>>8096

>No doubt they'd still see someone working as a mechanic or a plumber as beneath them.

Not at all, I'd love the chance to get my hands on a job where I actually do something tangible and see results from my daily toil. Most call centre drones would probably say the same- You might get to sit in a cozy office all day, but the lack of real socialisation and knowledge that your job is essentially completely meaningless busywork is totally demoralising. Problem is, in your mid-20s, you've already missed the boat on meaningfully changing direction in life, or so it seems, and there really isn't much out there to help you.

The only thing left to do is delude yourself into thinking you're actually a comfortable, satisfied member of the middle classes, and to continue forking half your wage over to some buy-to-let leech and the other half over to an extortionate hire purchase agreement on your 62 plate Fiesta.
>> No. 8135 Anonymous
18th March 2015
Wednesday 4:58 pm
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>>8134
Nonsense! You can chop and change your career up until you're thirty. I hope.
>> No. 8136 Anonymous
18th March 2015
Wednesday 7:23 pm
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>>8133
It lasts all bloody year in my office. In the middle of the winter the young men are dripping in sweat and the middle aged women are wearing their coats indoors and shivering.
>> No. 8142 Anonymous
27th March 2015
Friday 4:37 pm
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There's new paper towels in the bogs and it's impossible to pull one out without either taking another 3/4 in it or tearing the next towel to shreds.
>> No. 8150 Anonymous
28th March 2015
Saturday 1:01 pm
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>>8142
They did this at our place, those new fangled single sheet at a time jobbers. After a week they were jammed up so they just started sticking normal bog rolls on the cisterns.
>> No. 8181 Anonymous
30th March 2015
Monday 11:46 pm
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Working on a smaller team I am beginning to learn how much I hate fat menopausal bints who find humour in everything.
>> No. 8352 Anonymous
7th April 2015
Tuesday 9:15 pm
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I've been getting funny looks at work because I've told them I'm going on holiday to Switzerland, as their idea of going away is a trip to Spain or Greece and spending the entire time getting pissed with their extended family.
>> No. 8362 Anonymous
7th April 2015
Tuesday 10:26 pm
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>>8352
Maybe they think you're going to dignitas.
>> No. 8363 Anonymous
7th April 2015
Tuesday 10:30 pm
8363 spacer
>>8142
At ours the toilet roll holders have some sort of cryptic mechanism that's impossible to open. So the toilet rolls are always balanced precariously on top of the holder and they occasionally fall into the toilet. Either that or someone leaves a pile on the floor which gets pissed on.

The soap dispensers get left empty for weeks too.
>> No. 8373 Anonymous
8th April 2015
Wednesday 10:52 am
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>>8352
I had that when I told them I was going on a Hansaetic League themed roadtrip across Northern Germany and up to Latvia through Poland.
Best holiday I've ever had. Though there is something to be said for getting pissed in the sun for a fortnight (though one can easily accomplish this in your own bedroom) with people you vaguely like whose habits on said trip leave you feeling resentful.
>> No. 8396 Anonymous
23rd April 2015
Thursday 7:07 am
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No idea why, but I've been reminded of when I worked in the public sector and went for job interviews in other departments which were a complete waste of everybody's time because they were going to fill the vacancy with someone from their department and knew this from the off
but they weren't allowed to do this and instead had to go through the rigmarole of advertising the job, interviewing people, etc.
>> No. 8397 Anonymous
23rd April 2015
Thursday 8:37 am
8397 spacer
>>8352

When Switzerland is considered an exotic curiosity, we, as a society, have a problem.
>> No. 8399 Anonymous
23rd April 2015
Thursday 1:31 pm
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>>8397
It was a bit of a curiosity compared to here. They have far less fat people, race mixing tends to be white man and black/Asian woman rather than white woman black/Asian man like it is over here, they use mustard instead of butter in their sandwiches, all of their apple juice is fizzy and tastes like cider lollies, their most popular soft drink (Rivella) is 35% 'milk serum' and tastes like a knock-off Irn Bru, hardly anyone thanks you for holding a door open for them and they dress a bit weird.
>> No. 8405 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 10:42 am
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For the past couple of days I've gone in 30/40 minutes early and it's really throwing my day off and it feels like time is dragging more than usual.
>> No. 8411 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 4:51 am
8411 My job means nothing to the world.
Hamoopa.jpg
841184118411
I fucking hate forced social interactions, but because I don't have any qualifications to verify my "dicking about with computer" skills I work in a dead end retail job. Many shifts I sit on a til scanning items for 10 hours straight. I'm lucky if I get 1 of my 2 fifteen minute breaks.

When I'm sat on a til the customers talk to me, It's the worst part of my job; Mainly because of the "jokes".

I'll be sat on the till for the sixth hour in a row with a very slight almost unnoticeable feigned smile. I pick up products from my left, swipe them over a barcode reader directly in front of me, once I hear the confirmation beep that signifies an accurate scan I place the product to my right for the customer to put in their trolley.

Sometimes however, this happens:

I pick up the product from my left and swipe the product over the barcode reader, but for a large number of reasons the product hasn't scanned immediately, to which I'll often hear, "That one must be free mate".

Fuck you and your unoriginal joke customer, I've heard that seven times today, not to mention every other day I have to fake laugh at it. I'm not a happy person right now and you're a cunt. Fuck everything.

Another one that always fucks me off is when customers feel the need to let me know that despite their large amount of shopping, and the fact they came in with a trolley, "I only came in for bread, haha!".

Also, if something Isn't scanning at the till, telling me the price of it Isn't going to help. Firstly, I don't need the price, I need the machine to minus one of the product off the system once the transaction has been completed which means entering the products item code.

Oh, if you find a slightly damaged product around the shop, don't feel the need to tell a worker about it, certainly don't bring the product to him/her and hand it over. It just gives them another job which if ignored, might have been done by someone else.

Lastly, I work in an Aldi. In the past people* have been very curious about my job and how things work so if anyone is curious about anything, It'd be a pleasure to answer any questions. Talking to people on this forum is the closest I get to intelligent conversation, something I remember once being capable of.

*taxi drivers and people I meet on the bus
>> No. 8412 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 5:14 am
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>>8411

1) I've heard Aldi is actually a decent shop to work for, all things considered. Is that true?

2) Does it piss you off when a customer attempts to sympathise with you and says something like "long day, huh?!" Because I do that all the time.
>> No. 8413 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 6:59 am
8413 spacer
>>8411
I used to work at Tesco, I thought it was great fun on the checkouts compared to when I had to do my usual shelf stacking job. The only annoying customer I had was a stuck up Asian lass who started demanding cash back after she'd paid on her card so there was nothing I could do.

I've posted about the annoying customers on the shop floor before. Smug middle aged people who'd get their kicks out of asking us questions along the lines of what's the difference between a brandy and a Cognac when it was clear we didn't know and they just wanted to test and lord it over us. Fatties who'd scatter produce all over the shop floor to get somethin one day fresher and then not bother to put the rest back. People who would make quips about broken items on the floor "were you playing catch?" or a pun about whatever was smashed, as I mainly worked down the booze aisles that tended to be Red Red Wine by UB40.
>> No. 8414 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 8:55 am
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>>8413

I might be wrong, but I'd imagine working in a supermarket would be the kind of job where you can get away with telling customers straight; just a deadpan "You're kidding, right?"

Sadly I worked in the kind of place you had to treat customers like they shit solid gold. Nothing helps you develop self control like managing to maintain a polite manner in front of the sort of cunt that thinks having an American Express makes them a high roller.
>> No. 8415 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 9:58 am
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>>8414
I did call one of the hambeasts a fat cow after she'd scattered a load of yoghurts on the floor that she could see I'd just finished tidying up.

One of my colleagues was a Portuguese chap who'd regularly walk around the shop floor with one arm aloft saying 'fuck Tesco!' and he never got in trouble for it.
>> No. 8416 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 10:08 am
8416 spacer
>>8415

Either I'm having serious deja vu or you've posted this before. Regardless, good on that chap.
>> No. 8417 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 11:28 am
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>>8416
I have. Next time I'll go the whole hog and include the time I got to ride around the shop on a mobility scooter with a lass on my lap.

It wasn't that bad, Tesco 7/8 years ago. I could have had a much worsr part-time job while at uni.
>> No. 8418 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 11:56 am
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>>8413
I hate customers that can see I am having trouble scanning something and pipe up with something along the lines of 'That one's free then, is it?' Very droll, sir, no-one's ever made that joke before.

>>8414
It's more than your job's worth to treat a customer with anything but the highest respect when you know a single complaint from them and you could be out on your arse.
>> No. 8419 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 12:56 pm
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>>8414

I'm usually a fan of Great British Manners, but I hate that we're supposed to be so polite to shitty customers. I spent some time in Texas, and there, in Austin specifically, the customer service experience there is "fuck you and leave me alone". Cashiers will not hide their distain for you, and in some places it's actively encouraged. Some restaurants are popular entirely because they have awful service, and Austinites think that's cool and ironic. I always remember thinking how happy I'd be even to work in a shit diner in the middle of nowhere if I was allowed to just tell customers I don't really care if their steak was too tough.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 8420 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 1:35 pm
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>>8413
>Smug middle aged people who'd get their kicks out of asking us questions along the lines of what's the difference between a brandy and a Cognac when it was clear we didn't know and they just wanted to test and lord it over us.
What cunts. Fucking hell.
>> No. 8421 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 2:33 pm
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>>8419
Is it opposite day?

I always read stories about how Americans who are used to "The customer is always right, have a nice day ma'am" service come to the UK and are shocked by the service they receive here.
>> No. 8422 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 2:36 pm
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>>8421
I agree, >>8419 must be talking about an American anomaly.
>> No. 8423 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 2:48 pm
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>>8421

It might just be an Austin thing, it's a very hipster city. Though I've heard similar stories about NYC. Again probably the hipster bits.

Perhaps someone from That London could go to Camden or whichever part is the coolest now and see what the staff are like in those places.
>> No. 8424 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 2:52 pm
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>>8419
I was buying a shirt in San Diego once and the girl clicked that I was English and asked me where I'm from. Cue "Ohh Hull? Yeah, sure I've heard of it, everyone says great things about Hull over here".

Sometimes it's just nice to have a pretty girl lie to you.
>> No. 8425 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 3:57 pm
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>>8424
>"Ohh Hull? Yeah, sure I've heard of it, everyone says great things about Hull over here"
Must've been hard to keep a straight face at that. "One of these days I'd love to go abroad and visit Stoke..."

Serving staff in the US are generally polite and attentive, just short of being obsequious - satisfying customers is absolutely essential, since a significant portion of earnings comes from tips. This no doubt encourages certain establishments to play it the other way as a means of standing out from the crowd, but it's certainly the exception.
>> No. 8426 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 11:27 am
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One of the consultants I work with keeps giving me two thumbs up when he asks me to do something because he's Tommy Singh from Typhoo Tea. Everyone else only gets one thumb up. I don't know what to make of this, other than that I want to chop his hands off.
>> No. 8429 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 3:17 pm
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Accidentally clicked to restart my computer to install updates. That was over half an hour ago and they're still installing.
>> No. 8430 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 10:57 am
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>>8426

He probably feels sorry for you and is trying to make you more comfortable.
>> No. 8431 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 7:13 pm
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>>8429

Monday mornings are a total write-off thanks to the shit management software we have.

Could be worse though, we used to have 'critical' updates that would give a 5 minute warning before an mandatory restart. Obviously ALL updates were classed as critical, even antivirus definitions...

Brilliantly one day all machines were instructed to restart instantly without warning which ICT quickly explained as 'unexpected critical update' and that they were "sorry for any convenience [sic] caused". That was a fun day.
>> No. 8432 Anonymous
21st May 2015
Thursday 7:33 pm
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People clustering around the printer to have conversations, or just generally standing in front of the printer being a gormless idiot.

I sort of need to get to the printer to, you know, pick up stuff I've just printed.
>> No. 8437 Anonymous
5th June 2015
Friday 5:30 pm
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>>8432
I'll go you one better-gormless cunts standing about gormlessly/chatting in front of the hot tap that makes my fucking coffee.
>> No. 8438 Anonymous
5th June 2015
Friday 5:43 pm
8438 spacer
>>8431

>"sorry for any convenience caused"

A motto for IT, if there ever was. Also rail operators. And Ryanair.
>> No. 8439 Anonymous
5th June 2015
Friday 6:08 pm
8439 spacer
>>8437
>the hot tap that makes my fucking coffee.

U wot?
>> No. 8440 Anonymous
5th June 2015
Friday 6:10 pm
8440 spacer
>>8439

I assume his office kitchen has one of those wall-mounted boiler thingies.
>> No. 8441 Anonymous
5th June 2015
Friday 11:10 pm
8441 spacer
>>8440

Those things are fucking vile. I dislike coffee so I have to drink tea and every time I've used a thing like that it's made the worst possible tea that can possibly be made, whether or not the water has just boiled. And some places you're stuck with the damn things.
>> No. 8442 Anonymous
5th June 2015
Friday 11:18 pm
8442 spacer

zipblog.jpg
844284428442
>>8439
>> No. 8443 Anonymous
6th June 2015
Saturday 7:16 am
8443 spacer
>>8441
We have one at work, and it used to make utterly foul tea, there would be a thick layer of scum floating on top of the cup. It broke down a few months ago, the replacement was a new identical model, and it was suddenly so so much better. But by now it must be starting to gunk up inside though because the scum is slowly starting to come back.

Mind you, my office is in the vicinity of the Burton area, which means the water is incredibly hard, about as hard as my cock after I eat a load of prawns
>> No. 8444 Anonymous
8th June 2015
Monday 2:21 pm
8444 spacer
I'M GOING TO SPEND MOST OF THE DAY YAPPING SO LOUD THAT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HEAR ME FROM ANYWHERE WITHIN THE BUILDING BEFORE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW MUCH WORK TO DO.
>> No. 8445 Anonymous
8th June 2015
Monday 3:18 pm
8445 spacer
>>8444
Is that NHSlad yapping? I know he gets so wound up about all that work he has to avoid.
>> No. 8446 Anonymous
8th June 2015
Monday 3:50 pm
8446 spacer
>>8445
No, unless he's a middle-aged woman.

Fuck off, Claire. I don't care what you had for tea last (us tea) night, what your sister's (Are Emma) been up to, what's going on with your car, that your son went out with his mates instead of spending all evening on the Xbox or what happened when you went to visit your auntie (Are Julie) and I certainly don't need to hear it from the other side of the room.
>> No. 8447 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 1:19 am
8447 spacer
>>8446
Go over and shove your cock in her mouth.
>> No. 8448 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 2:00 am
8448 spacer
>>8447

I'm fairly confident that would be a breach of the sexual harassment policy. Might want to check the employee handbook first.
>> No. 8449 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 5:29 am
8449 spacer
>>8447
Another would take her place faster than I can smite them.

I realise this is a theme of the thread, but there is nothing worse than the middle aged woman. Not long ago, on the last day before half-term, one of them was complaining that her son had been banned from watching a DVD with the rest of his class because he'd been playing some ISIS inspired 'lashes' game which involved whipping the shit out of one of the other kids. In her eyes her son is blameless and it's the fault of the school for not stopping him from playing it and because the other kids didn't get into as much trouble as her son. She bought him 3 bags of sweets to cheer him up. Her son, at most, is 6.
>> No. 8450 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 9:36 am
8450 spacer
>>8448
She is literally asking for it though.
>> No. 8451 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 1:58 pm
8451 spacer
There's this new girl at work who stands out because she actually seems to be around my age (early 20s) and looks as bored as I am. It's an annoyance because she looks like she'd be well up for it but I can't take her to the disabled loo and bend her over a lidless toilet.
>> No. 8452 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 2:19 pm
8452 spacer
>>8451

Why not?
>> No. 8453 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 2:58 pm
8453 spacer
>>8452

Because I have little to no office seduction skill.
>> No. 8454 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 3:04 pm
8454 spacer
>>8453
Ask if she wants to smash in a cheeky Nando's. It's perfect for a first date if you want to get your leg over.
>> No. 8455 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 5:18 pm
8455 spacer
>>8454

Sounds like a good way to introduce myself.
>> No. 8456 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 6:52 pm
8456 spacer
>>8453
Just dive right in, overpower her with your manliness.

"You, me, disabled bog, 5 minutes. Get in gear love."
>> No. 8457 Anonymous
9th June 2015
Tuesday 8:00 pm
8457 spacer
>>8453

You should be aiming to stick it in management, lad.
>> No. 8458 Anonymous
15th June 2015
Monday 6:16 pm
8458 spacer
I was on a conference call this morning that literally lasted less than 5 minutes when it was scheduled to be an hour long. I missed half of what was said because most of the people dialled in late and the conference call service we have at work interrupts the line to announce when someone has joined.
>> No. 8485 Anonymous
3rd July 2015
Friday 1:29 pm
8485 spacer
"This week has really flown by!

>It's because you missed us while you were on holiday and are having so much fun being back.

"You know what, anon? I think that you're right.... NOT!"

I realise this is quite chauvinistic but the NOT at the end was completely superfluous and is typical of the way many women react to humour.
>> No. 8486 Anonymous
3rd July 2015
Friday 3:25 pm
8486 spacer
>>8485
To me that seems more like Americanised humour, a way of removing all subtlety.
>> No. 8499 Anonymous
4th July 2015
Saturday 5:20 pm
8499 spacer
Useless management has ordered the workforce to remove tyre marks from out front of the farm, despite it being frequently visited by feed lorries and the like. The manager in question has never worked on a farm and has zero knowledge of livestock.

In general, bizarre and impractical demands on the workforce.

Worked in an office way back when, but it was pretty tiny, only 3 of us and it was plain sailing, with pub Fridays.
>> No. 8505 Anonymous
4th July 2015
Saturday 10:02 pm
8505 spacer
>>2520

The company you work for is a dinosaur.
>> No. 8506 Anonymous
4th July 2015
Saturday 10:05 pm
8506 spacer
>>8505

No, it's a winged lizard.
>> No. 8507 Anonymous
4th July 2015
Saturday 10:05 pm
8507 spacer
>>8505
Have you been reading through the entire thread?
>> No. 8509 Anonymous
4th July 2015
Saturday 10:15 pm
8509 spacer
I read it once ages ago, i even linked it on an IRC channel with my coworkers who quoted funny bits for the rest of the day. I'm not sure why I replied to that fella, perhaps I wanted to spark discussion about how "modern" workplaces have a changed attitude to time keeping. I don't see the advantagethough, I work a shift.
>> No. 8513 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 5:50 pm
8513 spacer
I'm sure this has been posted before, but people who shit at work.

Or more precisely people who are sat for at least 30 minutes, during office hours, on the only toilet in the office.
>> No. 8514 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 6:51 pm
8514 spacer

everyonepoops.jpg
851485148514
>>8513
>people who shit at work.
You may find this book helpful.

Agree with you on the latter part, though.
>> No. 8515 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 9:21 pm
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>>8514

I don't think apples poop. I know apples don't poop.
>> No. 8516 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 11:19 pm
8516 spacer
>>8515
Perhaps the apple's role in the saga is to become the poop of the other three? It might be a story of sharing, self-sacrifice, and poop.
>> No. 8517 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 11:29 pm
8517 spacer
>>8516
Asian child eats horse, horse eats Canadian goose, Canadian goose eats apple, apple poops child. The circle of poop.
>> No. 8518 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 11:36 pm
8518 spacer
>>8517
As an added bonus, it'll be one-quarter Canadian poop, which means they'll get a subsidy so they can afford the front of the horse too.
>> No. 8519 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 11:36 pm
8519 spacer
>>8517

Woman inherits the Earth.
>> No. 8520 Anonymous
10th July 2015
Friday 7:41 pm
8520 spacer
My office is horseshoe shaped, with the toilets in the middle with the stairs. Yesterday one of the women did a shit so foul that it lingered over the entire stairwell for at least 4 hours. The warm weather and poor ventilation for the bogs didn't help.
>> No. 8521 Anonymous
11th July 2015
Saturday 11:12 pm
8521 spacer
>>8520
But Women don't shit.
>> No. 8522 Anonymous
11th July 2015
Saturday 11:21 pm
8522 spacer
>>8521

They do when they've had one of their special lady yoghurts.
>> No. 8523 Anonymous
12th July 2015
Sunday 6:33 am
8523 spacer
>>8521
When they're in their 60s, overweight and have a terrible diet it isn't shit, it's more like slurry. Rancid slurry that stings the eyes and burns your airways.
>> No. 8524 Anonymous
13th July 2015
Monday 6:37 pm
8524 spacer
A couple of annoyances from today:

a) I'M GOING ON HOLIDAY FOR A WEEK AMD I'M GOING TO SEND YOU A DOZEN EMAILS OVER THE WEEKEND, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU'RE UP TO YOUR EYEBALLS WITH WORK ALREADY, WITH STUFF I WANT YOU TO PICK UP WHILE I'M AWAY. SOME OF IT IS HIGH PRIORITY, BUT I'M ONLY GOING TO GIVE YOU HALF THE INFORMATION YOU NEED AND I DELIBERATELY LEFT LETTING YOU KNOW UNTIL THE WEEKEND SO YOU WON'T GET THE CHANCE TO ASK ME ANYTHING AS I'LL BE IN SPAIN BY THE TIME YOU READ THEM.

b) a 60+ person conference call and WebEx, especially when they're on cheap VOIP phones where you can't hear most of what is said. The first 5 minutes where someone breathes heavily into their phone like a crazed sex pest. This inevitability being followed by the host telling everyone to mute and someone pressing hold instead, so for the following 95 minutes there is a beeping noise every 20 seconds and they don't listen when it's repeatedly pointed out someone has pressed the wrong button. Someone asking nearly 30 minutes into it whether they're meant to be able to see what the host has on their screen because they never bothered reading the email properly, so 10 minutes wasted while they're guided through how to connect online.
>> No. 8525 Anonymous
13th July 2015
Monday 7:33 pm
8525 spacer
>>8524
I'm with you on conference calls. A special place in hell awaits for those that arrange them.
>> No. 8526 Anonymous
14th July 2015
Tuesday 1:53 pm
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References are the most ballache thing. So many companies now (4 out of the 5 I've ever worked for) refuse to give personal references these days. Trouble is I've just been offered a job in the NHS, and they want 2 personal work references, a character reference won't do.

Why do companies have to be such wankers. Especially Gemma in HR, the useless bitch.
>> No. 8527 Anonymous
14th July 2015
Tuesday 2:13 pm
8527 spacer
>>8526

I know this sounds a bit much, but it will work:

Send of a DPA request along with a ten pound check to your previous two employers, asking for all personal info they have on you. They should pony up within a month, and you can then provide (a cherry-picked) performance evaluation or somesuch.
>> No. 8528 Anonymous
14th July 2015
Tuesday 2:50 pm
8528 spacer
>>8526
Don't they just email each other? Nobody calls anyone or whatever, it is impersonal, what is their problem?
>> No. 8529 Anonymous
14th July 2015
Tuesday 3:46 pm
8529 spacer
>>8526
These days, all a large employer will want from a "personal work reference" will be confirmation of employment, dates of service, and an idea of your absence and disciplinary records, if only because they know that's all they themselves would give. In most large organisations, there'll be a policy that says all reference requests get forwarded to central HR.
>> No. 8530 Anonymous
14th July 2015
Tuesday 6:54 pm
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>>8527

Cheers for the tip, although by the sounds of things I will need to move a bit more quickly than that.

I've spent the afternoon phoning around my previous employers and getting all the contact details for their HR departments, so whoever does the checking on the NHS end will be spoilt for choice. I presume it's just the usual sort of generic HR fluff they want, but people who work in the public sector tell me they like to be a bit more thorough.

Admittedly the only bit I'm really nervous about is attendance records, but I was pretty frank in the interview that I have been deeply unsatisfied with my previous jobs and that the change in direction is my main reason for wanting this one. Hopefully they can empathise somewhat.

It's bollocks though, I'm going to be on edge until I find out if they've cleared me or not. This last hurdle is the only bit you don't really have control over.
>> No. 8531 Anonymous
15th July 2015
Wednesday 6:37 pm
8531 spacer
>>8530

Given what you wrote about the attendance and being unsatisfied with the job, it's possible your old bosses don't want to leave a reference because they don't want to risk the potential fallout.

https://www.gov.uk/work-reference
>If the worker thinks they’ve been given an unfair or misleading reference, they may be able to claim damages in a court. The previous employer must be able to back up the reference, eg by supplying examples of warning letters.
>> No. 8532 Anonymous
16th July 2015
Thursday 1:04 am
8532 spacer
>>1795
Project manager cunt who leaves at 5 every day because "muh kid" (fat little shit is like 5 and your husband is unemployed, how is this even allowed?) complains that I get in at 9:45 instead of 9:30.
>> No. 8533 Anonymous
16th July 2015
Thursday 3:24 am
8533 spacer
>>8532
Time to look for a new job. I can't stand people like that woman you described.
>> No. 8534 Anonymous
16th July 2015
Thursday 6:26 am
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>>8532
I actually left after 5 on Monday. It really annoyed me because there's an unwritten rule that we're allowed to bunk off at any point from quarter to, but I still had bastard work to do. It's the first time I've left on or after 5 in months.
>> No. 8535 Anonymous
16th July 2015
Thursday 3:00 pm
8535 spacer
>>8532
Have a manager exactly as described. Doesn"t work Fridays or really anytime between 9-4 Monday-Thursday. I reckon she has some incriminating photos of her boss or something.
>> No. 8536 Anonymous
16th July 2015
Thursday 3:55 pm
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>>8531

I'd be surprised if they even remember me to be honest. Having had a couple of days to think it over, I've always been the kind to get my head down and stay off the radar. In a call centre, doing that means you will be actually speaking to your manager less than once every month, and this was a good couple of years ago.

I suppose at worst they'll be able to look at the records, confirm the dates of my employment, and see that I wasn't a stranger to the odd sickie. Just have to wait and see.
>> No. 8537 Anonymous
17th July 2015
Friday 12:23 pm
8537 spacer
I've just walked past the person I sit opposite as he makes his way back from lunch while I make my way to it. It's always awkward. There's nothing specific to say, I've just spent all morning near him, but you have to acknowledge them. A nod? Hello? Alright? 'Sup my nigga?
>> No. 8538 Anonymous
17th July 2015
Friday 12:45 pm
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Qs3FMoy[1].gif
853885388538
>>8537
>> No. 8539 Anonymous
17th July 2015
Friday 12:47 pm
8539 spacer
>>8538
Slow down!
>> No. 8540 Anonymous
17th July 2015
Friday 12:48 pm
8540 spacer
>>8537
I've found that a combination of nod and barely spoken "alright" is sufficient in these situations. I've cultivated a special quiet voice for doing it that sometimes it's enough to just move my lips in the shape of "hello" and murmur a meaningless sound in the back of my throat to get me past with the minimum of effort. It helps if you're seen as "the quiet one", an illusion I've been crafting carefully since I started to get out of the fucking rigmarole of saying hello to fucking everyone when you go past them.
>> No. 8541 Anonymous
17th July 2015
Friday 3:37 pm
8541 spacer
>>8537
I do a reverse nod and raise my eyebrows.
>> No. 8542 Anonymous
17th July 2015
Friday 3:42 pm
8542 spacer
I'M GOING TO FILL THE SINK WITH WATER AND DIRTY DISHES AND WAIT FOR THEM TO BE CLEANED BY MAGIC.
>> No. 8543 Anonymous
17th July 2015
Friday 3:43 pm
8543 spacer
>>8537

Thanks for reminding me of why I retired very early and have no regrets.
>> No. 8552 Anonymous
25th July 2015
Saturday 8:30 pm
8552 spacer
>>8537

high five

everyone loves a high five
>> No. 8580 Anonymous
3rd August 2015
Monday 5:51 pm
8580 spacer
• People who don't know the difference between 'biennial' and 'biannual' writing contracts and client agreements so we've now offered to provide four times as much service for the same price.

• It was absolutely mafting so I bought some Magnum lollies as they were on offer. Trying to get rid of them in a predominantly female is a harder task than you'd think because they're obsessed with being 'good' and look at you like you've offered them arsenic or declared that you want to diddle their kids rather than ice cream encased in a chocolate shell.
>> No. 8581 Anonymous
3rd August 2015
Monday 6:31 pm
8581 spacer
>>8580

Don't be daft, there are no offices in Hull, are you seriously suggesting you have female colleagues at the fish market?

You ate them all didn't you, fatarse.

Sharing them would never even have crossed my mind.
>> No. 8582 Anonymous
3rd August 2015
Monday 6:36 pm
8582 spacer
>>8581
I'm in exile. I'm firmly in Wessie territory. The land of saying "it wa", "Are" before the names of your relatives and using "us" instead of we and our, e.g. "us had chops for us tea." Hardly any chip spice, either.

If it was a 3 pack I would have considered snaffling them all myself, but a 4 pack would have been a step too far.
>> No. 8583 Anonymous
3rd August 2015
Monday 9:27 pm
8583 spacer
>>8582

Least you don't have to get up at narn anymore.

Never head anyone use "us" instead of "we" either. It's for "our/ours" or just "me", e.g "gie us yer ambag"
>> No. 8597 Anonymous
5th August 2015
Wednesday 11:50 pm
8597 spacer
>>8580
biennial = within two years. Finished after two years.

biannual = every two years?

I dunno, i'm not adept at interpreting Legalese. I'm a horticulturalist, so I'd presume that anything biennial is in a state of growth and vegetative gain for the first year and then comes to fruition at the end of it's second year thus ending a monocarpic life cycle? I'm presuming a bi-annual contract is one which is up for review every two years but otherwise ongoing? Neither term implies 4 uninterrupted years, so from whence does your "four times as much service" arise? I'm confus
>> No. 8599 Anonymous
6th August 2015
Thursday 4:07 am
8599 spacer
>>8597

Because biannual means one job every half year, or 4 jobs in 2 years. Biennial means one job every two years.
>> No. 8601 Anonymous
6th August 2015
Thursday 6:54 am
8601 spacer
>>8597
What the other lad said. There's a lot of people who think biannual means once every two years rather than twice a year and they shouldn't be anywhere near writing up a contract.
>> No. 8602 Anonymous
6th August 2015
Thursday 8:24 am
8602 spacer
The fucking radio at ASDA. The minions adverts which have thankfully ended now.

There's one advert that makes me wish for a fully armed communist revolution. It's the most vile and cynical money grab I've ever heard. I have to hear it 6+ times an hour. Fuck ME.
>> No. 8605 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 4:06 pm
8605 spacer
Who else feels absolutely nackered after 2pm every day? It's like I'm hungry, agitated, and generally want to curl up into a ball and be left alone.

I think I need to bring more food with me to work, because everyone and everything seems unbearable an hour before and after lunch...
>> No. 8606 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 4:28 pm
8606 spacer
>>8605

A lot of people are wired to have two sleeps a day, and lunch time coincides exactly with when most of them will feel the urge to nap, due to 9-5 work hours.

There is a reason for it, which I can't quite remember, about Sub-Saharan Africa being hot as fuck at Mid-day.
>> No. 8607 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 4:35 pm
8607 spacer
>>8606
Not sure about that, I know for a fact you can divide up your sleep period into separate chunks, but I think it's to do with low blood sugar levels.

I use http://sleepyti.me/ to get a good idea of when to go to bed, and it works like a charm.
>> No. 8608 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 4:50 pm
8608 spacer
>>8607

So if I have to wake up at 7.30 I can go to sleep at 3? Nice.
>> No. 8610 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 6:04 pm
8610 spacer
>>8605
Generally the more you eat the worse you'll feel after lunch.

A lot of cereal manufacturers experts tell you to eat low GI foods for this, but in my experience the only way to avoid a midday crash is to include some fat your breakfast and lunch. Butter is always good for this, but cheese and other dairy can be mildly sedative.
>> No. 8611 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 6:13 pm
8611 spacer
>>8605
I have a lull around 2pm but, then again, it's a miracle if I do anything work related before 10am, I take it easy between 11:15 and 12ish, stretch out my lunch by an extra half an hour or so and I don't start anything new after 4pm so I just make it look like I'm working or chalk the time up as CPD.
>> No. 8612 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 7:05 pm
8612 spacer
Today I made an order that was larger than any purchase I'm ever going to make personally, and felt about shit about it for fifteen minutes.
>> No. 8613 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 8:37 pm
8613 spacer
>>8611

The cure to the 2pm lull for me has been the biggest breakfast I can stomach, usually oats and eggs with ham or salmon, then for lunch I'll have a meal with a lot of protein and veg but no carbs, followed by a tea or coffee.

Obviously it all depends on the individual, but this keeps my blood sugar in check throughout the day, and a very highly moderated caffeine intake.
>> No. 8614 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 8:38 pm
8614 spacer
>>8612

I can relate as I've given presentations and pitches that have sealed deals that were probably worth more than I'll ever earn over my entire lifetime. I always left those meetings with a strange, ambivalent sense of not knowing whether I should feel proud or a bit of a mug.
>> No. 8615 Anonymous
11th August 2015
Tuesday 9:49 pm
8615 spacer
>>8613
You don't want to be too productive at work, your reward will be more work.
>> No. 8616 Anonymous
12th August 2015
Wednesday 7:06 am
8616 spacer
>>8615
Truer words have never been spoken.
>> No. 8617 Anonymous
13th August 2015
Thursday 8:38 pm
8617 spacer
I've got a new monitor at work and I just can't cope. It's a couple of inches wider and far sharper and I simply can't take it all in. It's blowing my mind.
>> No. 8618 Anonymous
13th August 2015
Thursday 9:34 pm
8618 spacer
>>8617
Lucky you. I've been assigned a large monitor at work, but because we now have enforced hot-desking I can't even sit in front of it.
>> No. 8619 Anonymous
13th August 2015
Thursday 10:27 pm
8619 spacer
ERROR(ORCAP-1733): Allegro footprint CON_101_00492_20a.PSM was not found in the search path.

Yes, yes it is, you fucker. You know it is, you can see it, you loathsome POS. Why must everything be a fucking battle? Just let me place this fucking component.

Yes, this one. That I generated using your cuntwitted part generation tool, that appears to specialise in generating fucked files.

WARNING(SPMHA1-230): Database has a non-recoverable corruption. Contact Cadence customer support. Unable to opening design CON_101_00492_20.psm

You feculent overpriced bucket of worthlessness.


tl;dr: Software is shit.
>> No. 8620 Anonymous
13th August 2015
Thursday 10:30 pm
8620 spacer

Much_about_apu_nothing.jpg
862086208620
>>8619
>Unable to opening
I smell an overseas IT worker here.
>> No. 8621 Anonymous
13th August 2015
Thursday 11:59 pm
8621 spacer
>>8619

>Cadence

You have my sympathies.
>> No. 8622 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:03 am
8622 spacer
>>8620
The upgradation is scheduled for tomorrow. If you are ok, I will do the needful then. Please suggest on this.
>> No. 8623 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:43 am
8623 spacer
Pointless processes.

At work, we have thin clients, and some of us specialists have a full virtual desktop to do our thing for when the standard remote desktop will not do. Sometimes, these VMs will fail to interact properly and fall into "maintenance mode". Getting the thing back up and running requires someone to open a properties page and untick the "this VM is in maintenance mode" box. Prior to a recent upgrade, we had someone in our office who could do this, which meant being out of action for five minutes while you walked over to the other side of the office, got on your knees and pleaded with Dave to untick the box for you. Since the upgrade, Dave has had his magic powers taken away and we need to call the helpdesk - we go through the usual rigmarole of identifying ourselves, explaining the problem, pointing out that we have these VMs, explaining that no, I'm not talking about the normal Citrix session, then explaining the same thing a few times, if I'm really unlucky getting my normal Citrix session killed and leaving a lock on my timesheet until the Great Nightly Session Massacre comes along to remove it overnight, at which point they tell me that it needs to be transferred to another team (which I told them at the start of the call, but they ignored, because obviously no user could possibly know how a problem the office has experienced dozens of times should be resolved), which they duly do, logging the ticket with an estimated response time of 7am tomorrow morning, until which time I'm unable to do any actual work. Once it gets passed to this other team, it goes onto a queue which we can't see, and when they finally get around to undertaking the mammoth task of unticking the box, I get no notification, meaning I have to simply periodically try connecting to it to see if it's back up yet. Instead of five minutes of downtime, we actually end up with several hours of unproductive time, plus the time spent trying (and failing) to get back in, plus the time spent sitting around while the thing is actually working but they've neglected to let us know as much.

I'm not going to name the company that provides our service, other than to say they're a few letters short of an alphabet.
>> No. 8624 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:09 pm
8624 spacer
Being in purchasing obviously I receive a lot of orders. Thorlabs are particularly looked forward to since you get a box of snacks with them.

Today I got some mixed nuts (ültje Studenten-futter), some Apfel chips, knusprige which looks like a biscuit thing, a chocolate cereal bar, Dextro energy mints and some Haribo.
>> No. 8625 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:11 pm
8625 spacer
>>8624

This annoys you?
>> No. 8626 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:15 pm
8626 spacer
>>8623

Have you considered emailing them this and pointing this out? Can't hurt surely, especially if they are paid by your office to provide this service.
>> No. 8627 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:34 pm
8627 spacer
>>8625
No, it's just not worthy of a new office thread.
>> No. 8628 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:43 pm
8628 spacer
>>8627
Start a new thread called 'Workplace perks' or something.
>> No. 8629 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:44 pm
8629 spacer
>>8624
If you ever pinch my lab snacks, I will assemble my Thorlabs modules into a deadly weapon and hunt you down. Although, being the geek that I am, I look forward to the Thorlabs sticky notes the most.
>> No. 8630 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:47 pm
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My current annoyance as an employer is wanting to bang a member of staff.
>> No. 8631 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:49 pm
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>>8630
I want to make a reference to the lad who did bang his boss but I can't remember the salient details. Was a chef? And he bent her over in the pantry, or something?
>> No. 8632 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:51 pm
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>>8631
He was a chef, but I can't remember the dirty details. I think he might have diddled her in the manager's office?
>> No. 8633 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 12:59 pm
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>>8629
I have no real use for post it notes, I just write directly on whatever it is I would've stuck one on.
>> No. 8634 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 1:18 pm
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Apfel crisps update.

I was just eating them and a particularly sharp one got jammed into my lip, and given how you don't really think about these things I continued munching, only to shove a sharp bit of apple into my lip. I'm now bleeding. Stabbed by an apple in the office. God.
>> No. 8635 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 1:25 pm
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Birthday/Leaving gift buying.

I can't fucking stand the task. Not only do I hate doing the choosing, but the incessant bitching from other people when it's deemed not good enough.
>> No. 8636 Anonymous
14th August 2015
Friday 1:50 pm
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>>8635

This winds me up too.

I just go for joke presents, or novelty wank. Cola Company branded lipbalms was my last one. Fanta, Sprite, Dr Pepper, etc.

Went down a treat and everyone looked like cunts for giving me shit about only spending a couple of quid. She was leaving for Uni, not being euthanised.
>> No. 8637 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 2:58 pm
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My boss is having a full on domestic, over the phone, at her desk.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I'M SORTING THIS OUT THEN YOU FRIGGING ORGANISE IT.

I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M ACTUALLY PAID TO DO, BECAUSE I'M ALREADY BEHIND DEADLINES AS IT IS. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

LOUD NOISES AND SWEAR WORDS.
>> No. 8638 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 3:01 pm
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>>8637
What is she paid to do?
>> No. 8639 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 3:08 pm
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>>8638
She's a consultant, but she's also the head of the office.

I think she earns twice as much as him, so it's probably okay for her to emasculate him over the phone. As if a woman in a relationship needs an excuse to do this anyway.I'm having a poo break, those clementines have gone right through me again.
>> No. 8640 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 3:11 pm
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>>8639
Pat yourself on the back for a having proper fibre intake.

(After you've washed your hands).
>> No. 8641 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 6:01 pm
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>>8637
>>8639
The little sod should just leave her.
>> No. 8642 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 6:05 pm
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>>8639
Ah, noble profession, consulting.
>> No. 8643 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 6:20 pm
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>>8642
I'm being deliberately vague. It's not management consultancy or anything wanky like that. We're in a proper chartered professional industry, but I worry that they'll somehow find out at work I post here so I'm not saying anything too identifiable.
>> No. 8644 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 7:21 pm
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>>8643

I have a similar problem.
>> No. 8645 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 11:51 pm
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This little shit right here, or specifically how the escape and function keys are tiny and the main keys are all skewiff.
>> No. 8646 Anonymous
20th August 2015
Thursday 11:58 pm
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>>8645
>This little shit right here, or specifically everything about it in general
>> No. 8647 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 12:10 am
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>>8646
>>8645
Oh please.
>> No. 8648 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 7:27 am
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>>8645
You're lucky, I bought a keyboard with no right CTRL. Fuck me does it piss me off. So many things I can normally shortcut with one hand I can now no longer do, eg CTRL+SHIFT+P for a new private browsing window.
Normally I get through keyboards fairly quickly, as they are the cheapest and most easily replacable part of the machine so when I get some gamer rage I smash them up. Last few months though I've been behaving. This is particularly irksome, as I had a keyboard I loved before and I treated it with absolute kid gloves. Of course the fucker broke in about a month, for no reason.

Fuck it, tomorrow I'm gonna buy some gin, a lime and some tonic, get wrecked and smash the living fuck out of this keyboard. Fuck you and your no right CTRL.
>> No. 8649 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 9:29 am
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>>8648
>as they are the cheapest [...] part of the machine

Depends how much you spend. I paid about £100 in total for mine and don't regret it one bit.
>> No. 8650 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 10:33 am
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>>8649
Whats the difference between yours and one of those old IBM ones you can sometimes find in the skip?
>> No. 8651 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 10:46 am
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>>8650
I spent 3 years looking for old IBM ones in skips and never found one. On eBay in UK layout they are close to the same price.

This has NKRO, the Model M does not.
This has media buttons, the Model M does not.
This has windows buttons, the Model M does not.
This had a warranty, a Model M wouldn't.
This has USB which I need for my laptop, the Model M does not.
>> No. 8652 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 11:53 am
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>>8651
Fair enough.

Granted these keyboards are pretty amazing, we have a similar one at work for one of the analytical computers, and it's a joy to use.
>> No. 8653 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 4:18 pm
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I know there's been a lot of posts about women recently, but I just don't get why you'd suddenly declare "ooh, I think I need a wee". It's bad enough that one of them tells me when she's due on.
>> No. 8654 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 4:20 pm
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>>8653
A lot of women seem to think it's cute and girly to do so, it's an odd one. I guess we shouldn't really complain, owing that we don't get similarly up in arms when a bloke says "Right, I need a slash". They fart too, it turns out.
>> No. 8655 Anonymous
21st August 2015
Friday 5:11 pm
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>>8654
A man might say it when he's mid-conversation, but I've never known one just blurt it out of the blue.
>> No. 8656 Anonymous
22nd August 2015
Saturday 2:09 pm
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>>8645>>8645
It could be worse, my manager willingly uses one of these (on a Windows machine...). I'm not sure what's worse, that he has to rebind the keys or that the keys themselves are like typing on a laptop.

>>8648
Couldn't live without right Ctrl in Virtual Box. My condolences.
>> No. 8657 Anonymous
22nd August 2015
Saturday 2:17 pm
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>>8656

Is that a Mac keyboard?
>> No. 8658 Anonymous
22nd August 2015
Saturday 2:34 pm
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>>8657

I believe so!
>> No. 8659 Anonymous
22nd August 2015
Saturday 2:39 pm
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>>8658

Yuck.
>> No. 8661 Anonymous
22nd August 2015
Saturday 3:39 pm
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>>8656
Are there keyboards like that one but for PC (that is, those where you won't need to remap anything)?
I have such a keyboard on my laptop and I find it strangely pleasing to type.

> Couldn't live without right Ctrl in Virtual Box
IIRC, the Host key can be remapped to any other key. Not 100% sure.
>> No. 8662 Anonymous
22nd August 2015
Saturday 6:42 pm
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>>8656

That's the cleanest I've ever seen a Mac keyboard. The ones in college were encrusted with filth. I can only assume the cleaners assumed it the technician's job to clean them, and vice versa.

Sage for rambling flashback.
>> No. 8663 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 2:36 pm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpPUUWp5sO4

I wouldn't join in with this shit for the salary of an area manager. Imagine feeling obligated to do so on minimum wage.
>> No. 8664 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 2:39 pm
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>>8663
I laughed, but have a hard time believing this is real, or happened more than a handful of times as a trial.
>> No. 8666 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 2:52 pm
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>>8664
Sometimes a handful is way more than enough.
>> No. 8667 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 3:40 pm
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Fucking chef yelling at me for asking "So you're saying that creme brulee isn't on today?" despite it being on the menu, for testing the side of a plate to see if it was hot before I picked it up and for apparently lying about telling him the starters for table six were finished (I told him twice). I'm sorely tempted to key PAEDO into his car.
>> No. 8668 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 3:59 pm
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>>8667
Just do it. If not now then next time.
>> No. 8669 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 4:34 pm
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>>8668
He'd only change it to RABDO.
>> No. 8670 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 4:35 pm
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>>8664
It was a long time ago, but IBM's corporate songbook is pretty horrifying:
https://www-03.ibm.com/ibm/history/exhibits/music/pdf/SB1.pdf

A bit of context:
http://www.networkworld.com/article/2333702/wireless/a-history-of-singing-the-big-blues.html

I've been told this kind of thing is still quite common in Japan, don't know how true that is.
>> No. 8671 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 4:48 pm
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>>8670
They probably needed cheering up at the time, what with their complicity in the Holocaust and everything.
>> No. 8673 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 5:06 pm
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>>8670

Absolutely true, although it has fallen slightly out of fashion. China are really keen on that sort of thing - their workplaces will often start the day with military marching or a synchronised dance routine. In Chinese cities, it is quite common to see a group of employees out on the pavement doing line dancing first thing in the morning.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USeSAGfko-U

NHK, the Japanese equivalent of the BBC, broadcast an exercise routine every morning. Many workplaces play this broadcast and 'encourage' their employees to take part.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH-kNnq7mFM?start=390

If you haven't seen that documentary, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is a heartbreaking insight into the utterly broken state of Japanese society.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radio_calisthenics

When walking into a Japanese shop, the staff will often yell "Irasshaimase!" ("Welcome!") at the top of their voice. Some shops have a bloke whose sole responsibility is to stand on a stepladder and shout at people through a bullhorn all day.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjG57IpyMhQ
>> No. 8674 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 5:27 pm
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>>8673
Reminds me of this
https://youtu.be/1JVJB3imw1Q?t=10
>> No. 8675 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 8:17 pm
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>>8673
Seconding the recommendation of that documentary, it's great.
>> No. 8676 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 8:19 pm
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>>8673
Probably why they have such high suicide rates. I would kill myself too if I had to deal with that kind of embarrassment.

They do a morning chant in most American stores in America (Target, Wal Mart, etc). Wal Mart tried and failed to start in Germany. People were weirded out by all the fake smiles, the fake niceties of the person greeting you at the door. The insincerity of it all. They also tried to enforce things which were not illegal, because FUCK YEAH AMERICA! They tried to outlaw fraternisation of the employees. There was a lot of shite about that. They also tried to bring over weird Americanisms like trying to nudge people to take a shit paying job and not join a union. Not to mention trying to sell American products to people who want German things (rectangular pillows instead of square ones). They lost a lot of money and just left.
>> No. 8677 Anonymous
26th August 2015
Wednesday 8:30 pm
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>>8676

America is a cultural pestilence.
>> No. 8678 Anonymous
27th August 2015
Thursday 7:53 am
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>>8676
Wal-fart are ruining ASDA. They've been slowly burrowing their fucking disgusting Seppo ways in for years. The shops aren't shops, they are "stores". All this fake smile shit is not only encouraged; your job can depend on it.

If they ever try to introduce a chant, I sincerely hope every worker there leaves.
>> No. 8679 Anonymous
27th August 2015
Thursday 8:16 am
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>>8678
I think it's a product of their whole "temporarily embarrassed millionaire" mentality. For them, a shit service job in Walmart or waiting tables at a restaurant is obviously just one rung on the ladder to their inevitable success, so as long as they work hard and keep their spirits up they'll get ahead.

For us, a shitty job is just a job, and it's shit, and there's likely nothing substantially less shit on the horizon, so it's kind of understandable when the sullen lad who scans your groceries in Asda doesn't sound like he's genuinely all that invested in you having a nice day.
>> No. 8680 Anonymous
27th August 2015
Thursday 9:00 am
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>>8679
I don't think the lackeys working at slave-labour wages in Walmart in America do see themselves as that. Some will, but I think a lot just take it because it's an easy stable-ish job.

One thing I've also found is that a lot of bar and restaurant work here is off the books and I personally know two people would would absolutely be able to claim benefits on top of their menial job but can't because they are technically employed. A job at asda or walmart is on-the-books, and whle that brings tax and NI contributions, it also brings (moreso here than America) a bit of worker protection.
>> No. 8683 Anonymous
28th August 2015
Friday 1:02 am
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>>8678

They truly jumped the shark when they introduced a whole bay dedicated to shit American chocolate like Hersheys, Reeses etc, as if anyone fucking wants that shit besides teenage girls who still think America is good (because that's where the telly comes from).

>>8673

My first ever job was for a certain second rate electronics shop, and my first day of work (with zero training or preparation) was the "grand opening" of a new store. It was a rainy October morning on a shit retail park of the sort all the good shops have left, and people only visit because the Burger King has a drive through. They had a shit wedding reception style DJ, a tombola, and we all had to do a conga line around the shop and car park before they let the 80 year old bloke who was first in the queue (of about 6 people) cut the ribbon. If we'd had to do that every morning I think there would have been open mutiny, it was sheer debasement.

I guess it's like any team-building exercise, though. Everyone hates it but in some ironic fashion it does its job, unifying employees in their hatred of the ritual itself. That said, those hairdressers look like they are having a laugh at least.
>> No. 8684 Anonymous
28th August 2015
Friday 1:34 am
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>>8683
> They truly jumped the shark when they introduced a whole bay dedicated to shit American chocolate like Hersheys, Reeses etc, as if anyone fucking wants that shit besides teenage girls who still think America is good (because that's where the telly comes from).

Oh lord, Hershey's... Reeses are at least edible, but Hershey's really embody a foulness that even cheap and nasty knock-off sweets don't come close to. I thought when I'd read that it tasted and smelled like vomit it was maybe just some kind of snobbish US bashing, but boy was I wrong.

Someone brought a bag of Hershey's Kisses into the office and then put them into a sweets jar. The taste "fresh" out of the bag was bad enough, but the putrid wave of Satan's effluent that smacked you upside the head each time you dared to lift the lid quickly convinced even the hapless chap who brought them in that anything and everything to do with Hershey's was to be banned from the premises.
>> No. 8685 Anonymous
28th August 2015
Friday 7:04 am
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>>8683
It's the same idea as army training -- the drill sergeant is a cunt in order to unify the recruits into hating him and being a team.
>> No. 8686 Anonymous
28th August 2015
Friday 10:17 am
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>>8673

I watched "Japan A Story of Love and Hate" (feels like there ought to be a colon in there but whatever). The Director has a brilliant quote, "but you're not an Anarchist anymore, you're a postman".
>> No. 8687 Anonymous
28th August 2015
Friday 10:42 am
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>>8686

It's a fantastic film, isn't it? So much factual telly creates an artifice of adventure and uncertainty, with a vast crew on an immaculately planned shoot pretending to document some sort of "personal journey". It turns out that all you need to create that atmosphere for real is a guy with a camcorder and a washed up Japanese lefty. Everyone involved seems so hopelessly lost.
>> No. 8688 Anonymous
28th August 2015
Friday 11:08 am
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>>8684
Someone I work with goes to New York at least twice a year and she always brings back Hersheys for the office. I can't tell if other people genuinely like it or if they were polite the first time around and feel they can't go back on it now. It's like the Kinnerton chocolate you get in cheap advent calendars and Easter eggs mixed with wax crayons.
>> No. 8689 Anonymous
28th August 2015
Friday 11:28 am
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>>8688
Next time she does, leave an equivalent quantity of British or European chocolate there too, see which goes first.
>> No. 8690 Anonymous
28th August 2015
Friday 2:07 pm
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On Monday I emailed HR with some questions about the overtime I'm supposed to be working this weekend. A follow-up call today revealed they're still trying to figure out the answers. All I wanted to know was whether or not my journey to and from the office on a Sunday, which I do not do as part of my working pattern and will take twice as long because because the train stops halfway for 20 minutes for no apparent reason, counts as travel time or commuting. (The extended journey time means the TOIL at double time works out to half a day if the former.)
>> No. 8691 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 9:01 pm
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One of my friends is an administrator for a company who deal with high net worth clients, because of this she seems to think her job is more important than other people I know in admin jobs. I have friends who have admin jobs at the local council, they are on more money/better pension than her and have more prospects/chance of career progression than she does in her current role but she thinks she's superior to them. I don't get it, sure you may be dealing with rich/ important people but, when you're an administrator earning fuck all, I don't see how that makes you important/anything special.
>> No. 8692 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 9:12 pm
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>>8691
>for a company who deal with high net worth clients
I would think she's justified in thinking that she's more valuable, and should consider moving to a company that are prepared to pay her appropriately for the value she's clearly contributing to the business.
>> No. 8693 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:16 pm
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>>8692
If all you're doing is shuffling paper and data entry then it shouldn't matter if it's for a millionaire or a benefit claimant. Basking in the reflective glory of people in a far more prestigious position than yourself whole you tug your forelocks seems extremely delusional to me. Is a car salesman at a BMW dealership better than one working for a local used car dealership?
>> No. 8694 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:24 pm
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>>8693
I'm not sure about "better" but the BMW salesman probably gets paid more.
>> No. 8695 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:28 pm
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>>8691
Delusions like that are sometimes necessary to build self-esteem and self-worth. It stops some people from getting depressed and topping themselves.
>> No. 8696 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:29 pm
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>>8693
That's called the "labour theory of value", and it's long-discredited bollocks.

PS, watch the VIMPTO thread.
>> No. 8697 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:43 pm
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>>8696
>That's called the "labour theory of value"
No, lad, it really isn't.
>> No. 8698 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:49 pm
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>>8696
I'd have said it was more essential to shuffle paperwork correctly and efficiently for someone living on bennies on the poverty line than someone with money to burn, as getting it wrong would be likely to have a greater negative impact on their lives.

Do I have to use bennies outside of /pol/ or is benefits only filtered there?
>> No. 8699 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:52 pm
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>>8697
I think you'll find that yes, it really is.
>> No. 8700 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:56 pm
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>>8696
By whom? The Chicago school? So what, it's not like their ideas have helped anyone doing low-level admin jobs.
>> No. 8701 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 10:58 pm
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>>8698
>I'd have said it was more essential to shuffle paperwork correctly and efficiently for someone living on bennies on the poverty line than someone with money to burn, as getting it wrong would be likely to have a greater negative impact on their lives.
This is a valid point, but again relies on a flawed concept of value. For an agency paying benefits, each claimant might be worth a few grand a year. In general, those agencies don't pay compensation and claimants have no right to interest, so the cost of getting it wrong is typically just back-dated payment. For a business serving the very wealthy, they might make more than that on a single transaction, and getting it wrong means losing a very lucrative customer.

It's not fair, but that's how it is. Go capitalism!
>> No. 8702 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:00 pm
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>>8700
>By whom? The Chicago school?
Them and everyone in the field who isn't a Marxist.
>> No. 8703 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:00 pm
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>>8699
If you want to be remotely convincing, you may wish to actually explain what you think the LTV is and why that post was implicitly supporting it.

>>8700
By everyone except hyper-dogmatic Marxists, lad.
>> No. 8704 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:04 pm
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>>8703
>If all you're doing is shuffling paper and data entry then it shouldn't matter if it's for a millionaire or a benefit claimant.
That right there is the very core of the LTV in a nutshell.
>> No. 8705 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:13 pm
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>>8701
>This is a valid point, but again relies on a flawed concept of value.

I'm looking it at the view from relative value. A delay of a few weeks could be hugely detrimental for a benefit claimant whereas for a wealthy person it's a minor inconvenience, even if we're only talking in monetary terms of a few hundred quid.

Anyway, your clients may be rich and it may be a lucrative income stream for the company you work for but if you're paid fuck all and there's no chance of career progression then I'd rather work for the council if it's more money.
>> No. 8706 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:15 pm
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>>8704
Hm, you seem to have misinterpreted my suggestion that you "explain what you think the LTV is and why that post was implicitly supporting it" as "quote that post and repeat your claim that it supports the LTV".

We're not making much headway here.
>> No. 8707 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:21 pm
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>>8706
What part of
>That right there is the very core of the LTV in a nutshell.
seems to be causing you difficulty?
>> No. 8708 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:31 pm
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>>8705
>A delay of a few weeks could be hugely detrimental for a benefit claimant whereas for a wealthy person it's a minor inconvenience, even if we're only talking in monetary terms of a few hundred quid.
Alternatively, a delay of a few weeks is something the benefit claimant has no control over and simply has to put up with, whereas the wealthy person is paying specifically not to have to deal with minor inconveniences and has the choice of dealing with a competing business.

FWIW, while pay in the public sector is better for admin, it starts to fall behind once you're a couple of steps up the ladder. In particular, it starts to fall off quite dramatically if you have any specialist skills. The DVLA have brought a whole bunch of IT people, some of whom worked there when the operation was outsourced originally decades ago. They've had to bring them in at Grade 7 level rather than the EO/HEO level you'd expect them to be, and even then they're still going to be "marking time" to cover the pay differential.
>> No. 8709 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:33 pm
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>>8707
It isn't. I understand that you think his post supports the LTV. You don't need to keep repeating that. What you aren't doing is explaining what you think the LTV is or why you think his supports it.
>> No. 8710 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:46 pm
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>>8709
>What you aren't doing is explaining what you think the LTV is
I repeat:
>That right there is the very core of the LTV in a nutshell.

>or why you think his supports it.
I refer the honourable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago.
>> No. 8711 Anonymous
29th August 2015
Saturday 11:52 pm
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>>8710
So you think his post supports the LTV, and the only way you're willing to indicate what precisely you think the LTV is and why you think he supports it is by repeatedly quoting his post. Fantastic.
>> No. 8712 Anonymous
30th August 2015
Sunday 12:00 am
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>>8711
If I described someone shooting another person in cold blood as murder, would you need me to explain what I thought murder was and why that fitted?
>> No. 8713 Anonymous
30th August 2015
Sunday 12:03 am
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>>8712
I would expect that, if challenged, you would be capable of at least giving a coherent definition of murder independent of the act you described, and would be able to make a case for why the label was applicable. Maybe you wouldn't though, I don't know!
>> No. 8714 Anonymous
30th August 2015
Sunday 12:17 am
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>>8713
>Maybe you wouldn't though, I don't know!
You're right, I wouldn't. I wouldn't seek to start a dozen-post cunt off when I could simply read the content of the posts I'm replying to. Evidently you'd prefer to simply pretend that you haven't had the answer you've had at least twice already.
>> No. 8715 Anonymous
30th August 2015
Sunday 12:29 am
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>>8714
You wouldn't be capable of giving a coherent definition of the concept or explaining why it would be applicable in this scenario? Well that certainly explains a lot. I wouldn't have bothered if you'd come right out and said you're a total retard at the beginning.
>> No. 8716 Anonymous
30th August 2015
Sunday 12:44 am
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>>8715
>You wouldn't be capable of giving a coherent definition of the concept or explaining why it would be applicable in this scenario?
You say "capable of giving a coherent definition", I say "willing to explain the self-explanatory". So are you going to go back and read those posts or are you going to continue to pretend the answer you were looking for isn't there?
>> No. 8717 Anonymous
30th August 2015
Sunday 1:21 am
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>>8716
I've read the posts and am not interested in engaging with someone who is either too inarticulate or solipsistic to explain things which are "self-explanatory" only to himself.
>> No. 8718 Anonymous
30th August 2015
Sunday 1:35 am
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>>8717
>I've read the posts
So then you'll know that you've already had the very explanations that you persisted in asking for.
>> No. 8754 Anonymous
9th September 2015
Wednesday 7:36 pm
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After pushing everyone to work their balls off during a major project, which has been going on since June and should last until November, the board sent out an announcement today saying they've decided to cancel the tradition, which has been in place since the company was formed 14 years ago, of closing the offices a couple of hours early on the day of their respective Christmas parties. Thanks for the hard work and all that.
>> No. 8755 Anonymous
9th September 2015
Wednesday 7:39 pm
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>>8754
You kind of deserve it. You busybody bastard. How do you like making life difficult for the employees?
>> No. 8756 Anonymous
9th September 2015
Wednesday 7:52 pm
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>>8754
Fuck them and send everyone home for a half day. Make sure the phones have an obnoxious message explaining precisely why there's nobody there and laying the blame squarely at the feet of the cunts on the board.
>> No. 8758 Anonymous
14th September 2015
Monday 6:10 pm
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We had a temp in today. I know he was only trying to strike up conversation, but there's only so many times you can talk about partying, getting wasted and alcohol before it gets tedious.

I like getting drunk, but it's not really something I want to have a conversation about. Especially when the level of conversation is repeatedly talking about getting hammered and little else.
>> No. 8759 Anonymous
14th September 2015
Monday 6:14 pm
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>>8758
A temp at my last place of work would never say anything unless he wanted something. I wish I were like him when I started. He used to come in, do his work, and just leave. No annoying chitchat, gossip, fake niceties, etc. I envied him so much.
>> No. 8760 Anonymous
15th September 2015
Tuesday 9:33 pm
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Someone had a massive shitfit today because I went into their folder on the shared drive to look for a document I needed. I didn't touch her fanny, I didn't burgle her house, I didn't piss on her kids. A folder on a shared drive everyone in the office has access to is not a private space which can be violated.
>> No. 8761 Anonymous
15th September 2015
Tuesday 11:13 pm
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>>8760
I can't stand petulant co-workers. A 35 year old woman reprimanded me today for "ignoring her", after a long pouting session.

What the fuck?
>> No. 8762 Anonymous
16th September 2015
Wednesday 6:17 am
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>>8761
Come on now, lad, it's not very nice to ignore someone.
>> No. 8763 Anonymous
16th September 2015
Wednesday 9:30 am
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>>8762
Sorry, what was that? I wasn't listening.
>> No. 8764 Anonymous
16th September 2015
Wednesday 10:39 am
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>>8762
I didn't say good morning within the allotted 50 milliseconds after entering the room - so it's assumed I'm ignoring her. But this woman is mental, we've been friends before - but after she threw one of our other friends under the bus over "hugging inappropriately", my perceived value of her friendship has plummeted dramatically. This is what happens when you don't have children to drone on about.
>> No. 8765 Anonymous
17th September 2015
Thursday 12:32 am
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>>8764

I am sorry you have to endure this.
>> No. 8766 Anonymous
17th September 2015
Thursday 12:33 am
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>>8764

I am sorry you have to endure this.
>> No. 8767 Anonymous
17th September 2015
Thursday 7:35 pm
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>>8765
>>8766
I hate this. Comes off very patronising and insincere. I see it in all the hug boxes on reddit, and it boils my piss to no end.

"I'm so sorry you went through that."
"Hugs."

Dear God.
>> No. 8768 Anonymous
17th September 2015
Thursday 8:04 pm
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>>8767
I'm so sorry you went through that.

*Hugs*
>> No. 8769 Anonymous
17th September 2015
Thursday 8:18 pm
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>>8767

>Comes off very patronising and insincere.

That's because you're cynical, m8. Sometimes, people are just showing empathy or, for all those ENTPs out there, seeing things from an other person's POV.
>> No. 8770 Anonymous
17th September 2015
Thursday 8:57 pm
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>>8769
I don't think it is cynicism. All that nonsense is like a more "mature" way of saying "Aww diddums." Like Kony and all those hashtags about what the herds feel sorry for in that moment. It is incredibly insulting, patronising and insincere. I cannot fathom how people accept it.
>> No. 8771 Anonymous
17th September 2015
Thursday 9:00 pm
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>>8770

That's militant paranoia there, fella.
>> No. 8772 Anonymous
17th September 2015
Thursday 9:31 pm
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>>8769
It's called virtue-sounding m8. Look it up
>> No. 8773 Anonymous
21st September 2015
Monday 6:16 pm
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GONNA HAVE MY MEGA FUNKY RINGTONE ON SUPER LOUD DESPITE THE FACT THERE'S SEVERAL CALLS A DAY I'D RATHER NOT ANSWER AND WILL MAKE EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE ENDURE LISTENING TO IT INSTEAD OF PRESSING THD IGNORE BUTTON.
>> No. 8774 Anonymous
21st September 2015
Monday 6:50 pm
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>>8773
PACK IT UP PACK IT IN LET ME BEGIN I CAME TO WIN BATTLE ME THAT'S A SIN I WON'T TEAR THE SACK UP PUNK YOU'D BETTER BACK UP TRY AND PLAY THE ROLE AND THE WHOLE OFFICE WILL ACT UP
>> No. 8781 Anonymous
23rd September 2015
Wednesday 6:23 pm
8781 People who send you emails with the whole message in the subject line
(The body of the email is nothing but a huge wall of disclaimers.)
>> No. 8786 Anonymous
23rd September 2015
Wednesday 10:01 pm
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I've spent a today being the "techie guy".

Helping out someone who accidentally went back a web page because they'd pressed backspace. Being called to the other side of the office because someone else couldn't figure out why double clicking on a document wasn't doing anything when it turned out they already had it open. Helping someone who didn't know how to type negative numbers into Excel. Demonstrating how to use the snipping tool and create a zip file.

Oh, being only one of two people under the age of 35 in the office.
>> No. 8787 Anonymous
23rd September 2015
Wednesday 10:05 pm
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>>8786
>Demonstrating how to use the snipping tool

I'm a tech-savvy person, and I'm also occasionally the ad-hoc IT technician in our office, but I didn't even know the snipping tool existed until a few months ago.
>> No. 8789 Anonymous
23rd September 2015
Wednesday 10:08 pm
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>>8786

Every time I think exactly that sort of thing can't possibly still go on, I see someone online complain about being surrounded by technologically illiterate coworkers or whoever.

2015 must be a frightening place for someone who doesn't realise pressing backspace can take you a page back on your browser.
>> No. 8792 Anonymous
24th September 2015
Thursday 6:32 am
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>>8789
To be fair to her, she is in her sixties and outside of work she's usually in the countryside riding her horses or doing something else rural. Another person I work with, in his fifties, dictates everything because it'd take him so long to type it himself in Word.

A couple of things I missed from my "techie" day yesterday - helping someone who had managed to set the default printer to one in a different room, showing them how to print double sided and then helping someone else who couldn't understand why a document kept printing on the wrong type of paper because they hadn't selected which trays to print from.
>> No. 8793 Anonymous
24th September 2015
Thursday 9:42 am
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>>8792
>showing them how to print double sided
Could you come around to our office please? I have no fucking idea how to get our printers to do what I want due to the way the clowns in IT have set them up. By default, they'll print duplex. If you go into the print settings and turn it off, it'll still fucking print duplex. Then sometimes if you go into the print settings again and turn it back on it'll come out as separate pages again.
>> No. 8795 Anonymous
24th September 2015
Thursday 1:54 pm
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>>8793
If it's a HP printer then there are two places in the print settings where you can select duplex, and it's a lottery which will make the difference individually, but deselecting both should do the trick. Or at least that's my vague memory of troubleshooting drivers for various laserjets over the years, their drivers always were a fucking shitshow.
>> No. 8801 Anonymous
24th September 2015
Thursday 6:42 pm
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>>8795
We have an old-ish Ricoh printer. It's a full colour printer, but for some reason the only drivers I can install on my PC have no option at all to print in colour.
>> No. 8803 Anonymous
28th September 2015
Monday 3:50 pm
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Everyone disappeared 20 minutes ago. I'm sat in the office with about two other people (about 200 people in the practice) wondering where the fuck everyone's gone.

I think I've missed an email.

At least I get to go on .gs without my line manager noticing.
>> No. 8804 Anonymous
28th September 2015
Monday 4:16 pm
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>>8803
Do you think you'd get to leave without anyone noticing? If they didn't miss you in whatever they're doing, they probably won't miss you when they come back. If that were me and I didn't have anything left undone, I'd be thinking about getting out of there.
>> No. 8805 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 1:27 am
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>>8804
Turns out something monumental happened. FT front page worthy.
>> No. 8806 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 7:27 am
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"I need you to update x, as some of the information in the report is out of date. I could do it myself in 5 minutes, as I know the subject matter inside out, but I'm going to delegate it to you so I don't have to. I'm not going to tell you which parts of the report need updating so here's a dozen or so documents, including one over 500 pages long, for you to cross reference it against."
>> No. 8807 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 4:41 pm
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A couple of months ago we did away with paper payslips. This month's payslip was due to show up online last Friday, but it's still not there now.
>> No. 8808 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 5:26 pm
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>>8805
Life on Mars?
>> No. 8809 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 5:46 pm
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>>8807
When I moved to my previous address HR didn't update it on my payslip, despite me asking them 6/7 times over a 20 month period. I moved last month and my new address is on my latest payslip. HR and payroll are a law unto themselves.
>> No. 8810 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 6:18 pm
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I'm currently being emailed encrypted PDF payslips. Nobody knows the password.
No, I can't be arsed to (pay some Russians to) crack it.
>> No. 8811 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 6:27 pm
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>>8810
Nobody was going to suggest that.
>> No. 8812 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 6:38 pm
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>>8810
Why not ask the person emailing them across?

I've lost count of the amount of times I've heard WE'VE GOT TO TOUCH BASE recently. Fuck off. If you need to have a catch up with someone do not utter the words "we've got to touch base".
>> No. 8813 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 6:51 pm
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>>8810

£10 says your company is being spearphished with a PDF exploit.
>> No. 8814 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 7:21 pm
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>>8810
NI number, capital letters?
>> No. 8815 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 7:49 pm
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>>8813
Sounds about right.
>> No. 8816 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 8:49 pm
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>>8812

>>/101/21216
>> No. 8817 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 8:55 pm
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>>8816
What's your point, lad?

The 'workplace annoyances' thread has been going strong since 2011. Talking about touching base is a workplace annoyance and I can guarantee in the 1,425 posts before yours in this thread there are complaints about management speak.
>> No. 8818 Anonymous
29th September 2015
Tuesday 9:08 pm
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I can't ask the daft bint (again) because she'll throw a strop (again), and I'm too weary to deal with that. I'll wait until she's not around and have a look myself (it's a small company).
Definitely not a pdf spearphishing exercise, I get plenty of those.
Will try my NI number - but that'll involve digging out an old payslip.
>> No. 8819 Anonymous
30th September 2015
Wednesday 2:53 am
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My overtime payment for this month hasn't come through. I even confirmed with HR, in person, that they'd received the claim and sign off before the deadline. Cunts.
>> No. 8820 Anonymous
30th September 2015
Wednesday 3:45 am
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Not an office annoyance but a few years ago I worked in a call centre. It was a Saturday so it was a half day with reduced staff, I was ringfenced on a quiet line in a pod in a far corner with another girl called R. She was about 3 seats away from me so we did our own thing. Day went slow with like 3 calls an hour. I noticed after a while that she had her legs crossed over and was rocking one over her knee quite furiously. I watched as she did this for a few minutes and realised she was masturbating. I started feeling horny and i think we got on to each others vibe and we both realised what was happening. To cut a long story short we both ebded up secretly masturbating, watching each other and taking calls. Nobody knew.
>> No. 8821 Anonymous
30th September 2015
Wednesday 6:00 pm
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>>8820

Should've sent her a Lync message asking if she would like to join you for a quick teambuilding exercise involving synergising eachother's task-focus in the video conference room.

I don't miss my time in call centre purgatory, but I do miss all the fit and slightly dense young lasses that work in them.
>> No. 8822 Anonymous
30th September 2015
Wednesday 8:11 pm
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>>8820
Did you get to have sexual intercourse with her?
>> No. 8823 Anonymous
30th September 2015
Wednesday 9:51 pm
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>>8822
IYKWIM
>> No. 8824 Anonymous
1st October 2015
Thursday 10:59 pm
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Is it just me or are the older, more experienced and more-appraised staff (usually women) complete shit at their jobs? In numerous instances I've found information provided by them to be inadequate or missing entirely, we work with templates so everything has to be quite concise. Also for working with technology so few of them seem to really grasp it anymore. I asked for help when I was relatively new a few months ago and the woman who helped made an elaborate mess of just trying to note something down when she could have just IMed herself from my computer.

Also there's a fucking lot of chatting behind people's backs.
>> No. 8825 Anonymous
1st October 2015
Thursday 11:00 pm
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>>8824

Should add for context this is an office/call centre affair and I am not painting all women with the same brush.
>> No. 8827 Anonymous
1st October 2015
Thursday 11:15 pm
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>>8824
>Also there's a fucking lot of chatting behind people's backs

Fairly tiresome and nauseating behaviour, even more so if you get caught up in it.
Nothing worse than having someone leave the table, then people start to talk about them as soon as they've left. I've decided this is to do with personal dissatisfaction and low self esteem. If your fucking life is miserable, you resort to bitching about people behind their back - you need to have a few words with yourself.
>> No. 8828 Anonymous
1st October 2015
Thursday 11:21 pm
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>>8820

Fucking hell lad this is tonight's material sorted.
>> No. 8829 Anonymous
1st October 2015
Thursday 11:28 pm
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>>8824
We have one working as a tester on our team. When something on our system looks wrong on-screen, she comes to me, because I developed the front end. She doesn't check to see if the contents of the database are correct, or if she's understood the spec correctly. No, it must be something I did. This is despite me having repeatedly clued her in on how to identify whether the issue is on the way in (business logic) or on the way out (display logic). So instead of her doing her fucking job and finding a problem and passing it to a developer to fix, I end up doing all her actual diagnosis for her. I tried building a little script I could work through, but that turned out to be as useful as a chocolate teapot because I was still getting the wrong answers. The total on this screen is missing? Have you checked the database to see if it's there? You have, and it is? OK, let me have a look. What a fucking surprise, actually it isn't there and you were looking at the wrong fucking line on your spreadsheet again.

I have no idea how she's still in the job. She clearly isn't sleeping with anyone because surely not even her husband would sleep with that.
>> No. 8830 Anonymous
1st October 2015
Thursday 11:29 pm
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>>8827

It hits unbelievable levels once it's to do with someone who has left the business.

Slightly unrelated, I got pulled up for swearing on the floor as it was reported to the employers. I bluntly told them it came from frustration and gave them a bullshit solution of counting to ten as an alternative, they were happy with that. Someone suspected it was the complaints team who reported this. The complaints team sat next to me and would usually be loudly talking amongst themselves about their own customers with some racism always thrown in for good measure while I was on calls. A colleague openly swears in front of our manager in meetings on the floor without reprimand. Give a fuck.
>> No. 8831 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 7:47 am
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>>8824
In my experience, admin folk tend to fall into two broad categories:

• Young people using it as a way into the company/industry or as a stop gap while they look for a better job elsewhere.

• Middle aged women. They'll be doing that job for the rest of their lives, unless there's the chance to be supervisor/admin head. As such, doing their job comes secondary to talking about the live episode of Corrie or that their cousin has just had a baby. Computers just don't like them. As long as they don't completely shit the bed they can get along fine with the occasional fuck up and acting like they're still in school the rest of the time. It's not like they're trying to advance their careers, or you're going to be able to replace them with someone significantly more competent, so what's the point in getting better at their job when it's more interesting to have aa right good goss?
>> No. 8832 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 10:43 am
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>>8830
>I got pulled up for swearing on the floor as it was reported to the employers.

You need to switch jobs ASAP. If you're an adult that doesn't work in a service industry (restaurants/shops), and get told on for swearing, you need to think about the place that's employing you. It's fucking ridiculous to think that someone could get offended by a minor swearword.

On the other hand, I went to get a haircut at a "nicer" barbers, and the LADS were acting very unprofessionally. Swearing every 2 seconds, stopping to watch a fucking youtube video, endless banter, shit like that... There is a time and place for all that shit.
>> No. 8833 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 11:01 am
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>>8831

Don't forget the superfluous yet sanctimonious HR position, where busy-bodies and control-freaks are the preferred choice. A position that I've nearly come to regard as 100% useless, and as just a means of filling in gender-quotas in the workplace.

Speaking of filling quotas, in my work, we need an "out-reach officer", so we can disseminate our knowledge to the public. It's filled by a cheerful, yet vacant lass who is woefully unprepared for the job. Basic things like MS office and the internet allude her - and I've been asked a few times (as a friend of course ho ho), to give her a hand.
>> No. 8834 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 11:06 am
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>>8833
>Basic things like MS office and the internet allude her
How's her spelling?
>> No. 8835 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 11:10 am
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>>8834

I guess it ELUDES her, sorry.
>> No. 8836 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 5:15 pm
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>>8832
>It's fucking ridiculous to think that someone could get offended by a minor swearword.

Chances are they don't like him and this was a convenient reason to complain.
>> No. 8837 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 5:28 pm
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>>8836
Very much this. You'd be surprised how often people will compensate for things they can't pin on you by finding things they can. It's how they got both Capone and Turing, you know.
>> No. 8838 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 6:00 pm
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>>8825
>>8824

No need to add the disclaimer. It's a well established fact (even amongst women) that middle aged women are often the worst humanity has to offer when it comes to the workplace. When I started at my current job several lasses told me they were glad to have another bloke around (and not just because they wanted my cock before anyone says anything.) The exceptions are few and far between, unfortunately.

The problem is that very often, you get accumulations of nearly useless but well-behaved staff within a department, because it is relatively hard to fire someone who is simply entirely mediocre, meanwhile all the good staff get promoted or fuck off elsewhere. Thus the useless, gossipy middle aged women who've been propping the desks up for fifteen years just become part of the furniture.

Very often you will find these people have an intimate knowledge of what constitutes as misconduct, and they will toe as close to the line as it's possible to get before you are actually putting your job at risk.
>> No. 8839 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 6:12 pm
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>>8838
>meanwhile all the good staff get promoted or fuck off elsewhere.
... where they end up eventually becoming mediocre. The Peter principle in action. Some organisations have significant machinery that goes into keeping people in a job. Where I work, you can get shunted off to a "talent pool" which must be trawled through before attempting to hire anyone new.
>> No. 8841 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 6:33 pm
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>>8839

True, but not mediocre in the same never had much potential, merely treading water and doing just enough to get by kind of way. It tends to be more that they get promoted until they end up in a job they struggle with, but then actually work quite hard to keep up, despite being a bit out of their depth.

You do get useless wankers in high up management positions and such, but this tends to be because companies don't have enough internal accountability with regards to management. It ends up effectively becoming a caste system.

Places like call centres are especially bad for it because with the amount of statistical performance monitoring software, online rotas and general automation, there ends up being very little real need for managers. The staff are pretty much self-sufficient cattle. In such a situation, a better candidate for management isn't somebody with genuine competency, but the person who is going to rock the boat the least.
>> No. 8842 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 7:47 pm
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Dear God. Reading all this... It is like a horror story. I don't think I will get off the dole train any time soon. If I do, I will do whatever I can to avoid office jobs, or any kind of work that forces me to interact with human beings.

Why aren't there more jobs where you don't have to interact with people? The best job was working in a warehouse, never having to speak to anyone for hours.
>> No. 8843 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 8:03 pm
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>>8842

Office jobs are seriously a kind of purgatory for mankind's most painfully uninspired individuals. A job is only as good as the people you work with, and the people who work in offices are intolerable.

Don't despair. There are real jobs worth doing out there mate. Take your sweet time on the dole until you find one of those, because offices are a slow and miserable form of existential suicide.
>> No. 8844 Anonymous
3rd October 2015
Saturday 1:13 pm
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>>8843
>A job is only as good as the people you work with

As someone that's come out of university and has been trying different jobs for the past couple of years, this is the thing that has stuck with me the most.

I remember in the television sitcom The Office, the character Tim saying quite emotionally right at the end episode that the absurdity of work is that you spend 1/3 of your life there, often with people you'd never care about otherwise. It does have a massive impact on you, psychologically and socially, in ways you'd never expect.

The effect to me has seemed to be that you'll generally fall in with likeminded people throughout your life, just by virtue of your circumstances and the kind of decisions you make, which is exactly why offices can be so dreary; you end up with a lot of people treating it as a stop-gap job on the way to something better, or people who once had something better in mind but ran out of steam, or God help, the terminally unimaginative for whom anything beyond admin is wild fantasy.

If I could go back and tell my younger self anything, it's that mates are great to be around but for God's sake find some way to surround yourself with people you want to emulate, rather than just have a laugh with. Find people you admire and respect, and ask them a lot of fucking questions.
>> No. 8845 Anonymous
3rd October 2015
Saturday 1:26 pm
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>>8844

Apologies for double-posting, but I should add that the above advice is gradually getting me out of office purgatory.

Another thing is, while they may own your body and the physical space it occupies for eight hours a day, they can't fully own your thoughts. Do everything in your power to retain broadness of mind, make sure you are always developing strategies to move on, and make it so that you cannot possibly become complacent. Listen to audiobooks in the car or during your breaks, take night classes in the evenings, read on the bus or tube, anything just to make sure you don't get bogged down in the minutia and the empty tasks and the tedious daily shitness of it all.

It helps to find a place where the staff are treated as grownups who can take care of themselves. I've been fortunate enough to find this myself, and it seems like it doesn't matter to anyone if I'm flexible with my hours, if I choose to nip to the library to study a bit, or go for a run after lunch, as long as I get my daily tasks done. This is a good sign, and suggests that you're working for a company that wants to see you develop, rather than treat you as a box-ticking machine made of meat.
>> No. 8846 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 5:55 am
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>>5478
>In another bizarre anecdote, Blessed insisted he could remember his own birth. “It sounds ridiculous but I remember being born,” he said. “I was in ice and boulders and burst through it, felt this tremendous pressure and then suddenly found myself being born and immediately saw my mother and father.”

http://www.theguardian.com/stage/2015/oct/07/brian-blessed-i-helped-a-woman-giving-birth-under-a-tree-deliver-her-baby
>> No. 8847 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 5:34 pm
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A couple from today:

• Someone had a hot meat pie and it was all I could smell for over two hours. I was going mad with the hunger.

• I work with a bloke in his sixties who always manages to dribble a bit of piss on the floor when he goes to the toilet but today he truly excelled himself. I'm pretty sure he just aimed his knob directly at the floor and blasted it with piss.
>> No. 8848 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 6:47 pm
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>>8847
I'm not proud of it, but I did that in a state of impotent, exhausted rage in a workplace once, long ago.

Purposely blasted the floor with piss that is. Not made a hot meat pie.
>> No. 8849 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 9:03 pm
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>>8848
How do you rationalise that? The CEO or your supervisor won't be cleaning it. Someone who gets less than you will clean it.
>> No. 8850 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 9:10 pm
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>>8849
Not him, but if they're employing a cleaner, then cleaning it is exactly what they're paid to do.
>> No. 8851 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 9:11 pm
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>>8850
If the state is employing paramedics, then jumping off bridges is exactly what you should be doing.
>> No. 8852 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 9:17 pm
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Pack it in, lads. I can still recall a cunt off from years ago when someone pissed in the sink of a hotel they didn't enjoy staying in.
>> No. 8853 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 9:20 pm
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>>8849
We didn't have a cleaner, and I didn't really rationalise it.
>> No. 8854 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 9:24 pm
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>>8852
This is the kind of passive-aggressive shite I really hate. It is becoming more common. Fucking millennials.
>> No. 8855 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 9:29 pm
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>>8851
If you think a floor covered in piss in the worst thing a cleaner has ever had to deal with, you're in for a shock.
>> No. 8856 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 9:47 pm
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>>8855
You are right mate. Keep fighting for our rights to piss everywhere because cleaners are supposed to clean it.
>> No. 8857 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 11:30 pm
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>>8855
Considering a regular office, I doubt that the toilets/bathrooms are caked in shit and jizz. Just pissing on the ground because "it's someone's job to clean" is massively cuntish and cynical.

A cleaner as a variety of things to maintain besides scraping off dried piss residue around a urinal.
>> No. 8858 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 1:17 am
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>>8857
>Considering a regular office, I doubt that the toilets/bathrooms are caked in shit and jizz.
I can assure you otherwise. In one previous workplace, it seemed like two people simply stopped showing up for work one day, then a few days later a memo went around reminding people that the toilets were not an appropriate place to go for a quick shag. In another, a memo was circulated stating that the disabled toilets would be RADAR-locked because people had been doing drugs, each other, or both (sometimes at the same time) in them. In yet another still, the gents' was effectively off-limits for the best part of half a day because some poor bugger let themselves down badly after consuming some poorly-cooked seafood the night before. (In case you've never had the pleasure, fishy runs are especially aromatic.)

>Just pissing on the ground because "it's someone's job to clean" is massively cuntish and cynical.
Well thank fuck nobody suggested that, right?
>> No. 8859 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 3:29 am
8859 spacer
>>8858
No. You just implied it and lead the argument that way. Nobody was talking about how cleaners should clean, but I was talking about how stupid it is to piss on the floor because of a tantrum. People tend to do silly things when they think they are harming a faceless corporation. Take a shit on your boss' bed, don't piss all over the toilets.

Why does this have to be explained to you?
>> No. 8860 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 3:40 am
8860 spacer
>>8859
>You just implied it and lead the argument that way
No. You inferred it. My point was that if you have already done it, then either the cleaner will clean it up, which will be no big deal to them, or a co-worker will have to do it, in which case the intended effect will probably be achieved. It wasn't an exhortation to go forth and piss upon toilet floors up and down the land.
>> No. 8863 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 7:54 am
8863 spacer
So, lads, what about them hot meat pies then, eh?
>> No. 8864 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 8:06 am
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>>8863

Take it /y/, pervert.
>> No. 8865 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 11:07 am
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>>8858
>I can assure you otherwise.

Then I have to ask, where the fuck do you work? I sincerely would question my workplace if it was evident that it's filled with scum, and would start looking for a new job post-haste. It's not the corporation you work with you should be mad at, it's your so-called co-workers.

I agree with the last poster, if you're mad at the management, don't punish some poor bastard cleaning. Fuck sake, take a shit, freeze your turd and stab who ever snubbed you at the Christmas party.
>> No. 8867 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 12:58 pm
8867 spacer
>>8865
>Then I have to ask, where the fuck do you work?
The real world, where we have to put up with people like this, rather than simply packing them into shipping containers and dumping them at sea as you might like.
>> No. 8868 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 1:29 pm
8868 spacer
>>8867
Oh come now, "the real world", not all of us are in some kind of workhouse - I've worked everywhere from nightclubs to big pharma companies and rarely do I see regular bathroom antics. Although there was that one time I saw a turd remnant stuck to the ceiling at a nightclub bathroom.
>> No. 8869 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 2:10 pm
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>>8868
>Well I've never seen it so it must not be common.
>> No. 8870 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 2:32 pm
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>>8869
Believe it or not, in this country it's common courtesy not to behave like an animal during work hours.
>> No. 8871 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 2:34 pm
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>>8870
Do you have a point, or are you deliberately being obtuse as normal?
>> No. 8872 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 2:46 pm
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>>8871
Are you blind? You are being obtuse and condescending. Not him.

I wouldn't be surprised if you are the type of twat to piss and shit everywhere in the toilet to make some sort of point to your boss.
>> No. 8873 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 2:53 pm
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>>8872
We heard you the first time, lad.
>> No. 8874 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 3:02 pm
8874 spacer
For what it's worth, I regret blasting that floor with piss even more now thanks to this derail.
>> No. 8875 Anonymous
9th October 2015
Friday 3:14 pm
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Stand-up meetings are fun. Stand-up meetings which get turned into daily project status meetings, not so much - especially when you still end up standing the whole time. It's enough to make a man blast the floor with piss, I tell you.
>> No. 8877 Anonymous
10th October 2015
Saturday 12:00 pm
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>>8874
Sorry lad. Blasting the floor with piss is now part of .gs lore.
>> No. 8878 Anonymous
10th October 2015
Saturday 2:29 pm
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At work yesterday someone made a hot meat pie, and the smell drove me so mad with hunger I stormed into the gents and blasted the floor with piss.
>> No. 8880 Anonymous
10th October 2015
Saturday 4:40 pm
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>>8878
At work yesterday someone blasted the floor with piss, and the smell drove me so mad with hunger I stormed into the kitchen and made a hot meat pie.
>> No. 8881 Anonymous
11th October 2015
Sunday 12:39 am
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>>8880>>8878
What came first, the Hot pie or the Piss Blast?
>> No. 8882 Anonymous
11th October 2015
Sunday 12:56 am
8882 spacer

Hot-Pie-1435062552.gif
888288828882
>>8881

No piss, no pie. It's as simple as that.
>> No. 8883 Anonymous
11th October 2015
Sunday 10:36 pm
8883 spacer
Does it count if people start asking me to do stuff that isn't my job, in a place I don't work?

I have had a friend up to visit and he has been travelling around a lot lately. He asked me if we could go to Urban Outfitters so he could get a new top. I'm not really big on my clothes shopping but I knew it was one of those generic high street shops like Topman.

Anyway I went in and it was honestly some kind of hipster exit portal and I stood waiting near the changing rooms and a nice young woman and her boyfriend started asking if I 'had any smaller sizes, like a 24 (I think, missed what she said exactly)'.

I am honestly not sure how offended I should be that somebody presumed I'd be hired by hipster co and believed I assimilated into them so well.
>> No. 8884 Anonymous
12th October 2015
Monday 1:27 am
8884 spacer
>>8883
Not as bad as being asked by three different people, on three different occasions, all on the same day, where XYZ might be in fucking 99p Store. I went home and changed, I thought it was the way I dressed. I am very self-conscious right now.
>> No. 8885 Anonymous
12th October 2015
Monday 9:03 am
8885 spacer
>>8884
Not going to lie mate, Urban Outfitters was offensive, but I'd rather be assumed to be a bit aloof and a postulant for a quirky order than whatever qualities the 99p store sends off.

I'm truly sorry. Maybe you had a similar top on?
>> No. 8886 Anonymous
12th October 2015
Monday 1:02 pm
8886 spacer
When I think 99p store I think blue polo shirt. Gormless expression. Unwashed hair in a large scrunchy bobble. Tattoo of a rose which has aged terribly. Inspirational quote tattoos, including one reminding her of her dead grandad. Stained teeth. Argos jewellery.
>> No. 8887 Anonymous
12th October 2015
Monday 2:40 pm
8887 spacer
>>8886
Poles.
>> No. 8888 Anonymous
12th October 2015
Monday 3:07 pm
8888 spacer
Today's techie job - going round to the other side of the office to help someone who didn't know how to save a document from an e-mail.
>> No. 8889 Anonymous
13th October 2015
Tuesday 7:18 am
8889 spacer
Some daft bint is back from maternity leave and needs to remind the office she has a baby for the 100th time and it's not even noon. It wouldn't be so bad is she spoke like a human being but she fucking has to bellow her conversations across the office for all to hear.

The daily topic of the 5p plastic bag charge is starting to boil my piss too. Yes I get it you don't like paying 5p for a fucking bag, you told me yesterday and the day before, and the day before...
>> No. 8890 Anonymous
13th October 2015
Tuesday 8:02 am
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>>8889

To be fair to that lady, she has fired a person of herself, that's quite a big deal. For her, at least.
>> No. 8891 Anonymous
13th October 2015
Tuesday 8:13 am
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>>8888
I'm starting to think that the primary purpose of university these days is to provide a buffer between young people and older workers who spend half the working day coping with the simplest fucking shit imaginable.
>> No. 8892 Anonymous
13th October 2015
Tuesday 8:40 am
8892 spacer
I AM THE SELF APPOINTED GUARDIAN OF THE STATIONERY CUPBOARD, KEEPING IT UNDER LOCK AND KEY. YOU'LL NEED TO JUSTIFY EVERYTIME YOU WANT TO TAKE SOMETHING OUT OF MY CUPBOARD, BUT EVEN THEN I'LL TRY AND RATION WHAT YOU TAKE OUT AND GIVE YOU A DIRTY LOOK FOR EACH ITEM YOU TAKE OUT, AS IF YOU'RE SNATCHING MY CHILDREN. IF I GO ON HOLIDAY THEN YOU'RE FUCKED BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST ANYONE WITH MY KEY.
>> No. 8893 Anonymous
13th October 2015
Tuesday 10:43 am
8893 spacer
>>8892

Pwhahahha! Our procurement team have hired 'experts' whose grand strategy was "stop buying things". No pens, no pads, no diaries, nothing.
>> No. 8894 Anonymous
13th October 2015
Tuesday 1:27 pm
8894 spacer
>>8892
Thank fuck we have an online ordering system.

Although every once in a while there is a cock-up and a overly proactive secretary/admin/HR/whatever has to send a passive aggressive email laden with Comic Sans and cutesy signatures to all parties involved.
>> No. 8895 Anonymous
13th October 2015
Tuesday 3:49 pm
8895 spacer
>>8893
Ours tries to buy the cheapest things possible. Bic pens are too flashy, so we have to make do with these really horrible scratchy ones.

To be fair, this why we now have a huge box of pens nicked from presentations and seminars and the like so we don't have to use them.
>> No. 8896 Anonymous
13th October 2015
Tuesday 5:50 pm
8896 spacer
>>8895
I think every pen on my desk I have got from other companies with their names on them. We have a problem with the dry erase markers disappearing from the meeting rooms. We only have 2 meeting rooms with white boards in them, but the pens constantly seem to just move from room to room and then they never seem to work properly.
>> No. 8910 Anonymous
15th October 2015
Thursday 8:20 pm
8910 spacer
There has been an argument between staff over a photo accidentally going up briefly on Facebook from a work party that involved some lass getting her arse out. Also her practically giving the token dark lad a lap dance.

I am so very happy I have never embarked on a work night out and have never had any of them on Facebook.
>> No. 8911 Anonymous
15th October 2015
Thursday 8:42 pm
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>>8910
Being a manager I turn up to work piss ups for a few pints then make my excuses and leave. Also being a manager means no one wants me being their friend on Facebook anyway. I'll still get to hear any gossip that happens like a couple of guys doing lines in the bogs, but I don't have to be there for any of it.
>> No. 8912 Anonymous
15th October 2015
Thursday 8:48 pm
8912 spacer
>>8910
>I am so very happy I have never embarked on a work night out

Live a little, lad. Once you get so drunk you've forgotten your initial reservations they're quite fun.
>> No. 8914 Anonymous
15th October 2015
Thursday 10:07 pm
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We had a problem with our server for a few days this week, causing a lot of issues the network drives and emails.
So the entire office knew that we had problems which were affecting the computers, the entire office knew that the contractors were on site working their arses off trying to fix it. But all this week I've heard nothing but people saying things like "My emails are down", "Can you open this document, it wont let me?", "why does X software keeps crashing?", "I saw the IT people earlier, do they know our emails aren't working?"
And of course every time one of the technicians had to leave the server room, they were assaulted by mobs of our employees all asking them to fix their one particular problem.
>> No. 8915 Anonymous
15th October 2015
Thursday 10:16 pm
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>>8910 Wouldn't have happened to be last Friday night?
>> No. 8916 Anonymous
15th October 2015
Thursday 11:51 pm
8916 spacer
Why do I only seem to be put into conference calls that have nothing to do with my team or department?
>> No. 8945 Anonymous
21st October 2015
Wednesday 5:24 pm
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"You can't book any leave during xxxx yet. It's the school holidays, so the mums get first refusal."
>> No. 8947 Anonymous
21st October 2015
Wednesday 6:50 pm
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Speaking of staff nights out, I'm in the awkward position of being a relatively new arrival to my place of work, but it's one of those places that's small enough for everyone to have a relatively close working relationship. Problem is I can't help myself after a few drinks and tend to get absolutely hammered, and with the obligatory Christmas do and what have you coming up I'm going to have to let my colleagues see what I'm really like pretty soon. I'm a little apprehensive.
>> No. 8948 Anonymous
21st October 2015
Wednesday 7:08 pm
8948 spacer
>>8947
Stick to softs?
>> No. 8949 Anonymous
21st October 2015
Wednesday 7:11 pm
8949 spacer
>>8947
Go out before it starts and have a massive meal. Eat so much you can barely move, then stick with heavy beers all night. You won't physically be able to drink them in Amy quantity before everyone else is wankered or going home, plus it'll line your belly and prevent you getting pissed yourself.
>> No. 8950 Anonymous
21st October 2015
Wednesday 7:20 pm
8950 spacer
>>8947
Get absolutely rat arsed. It's what I did on a staff night out when I'd been there a few weeks and it was a great way to get to know people, although some of them got so drunk they could barely remember it afterwards.
>> No. 8997 Anonymous
28th October 2015
Wednesday 5:47 pm
8997 spacer
I'M GOING TO REPEATEDLY WATCH VIDEOS ON MY PHONE OF MY BABY NIECE AT FULL VOLUME SO EVERYONE IN THE VICINITY HAS TO ENDURE LISTENING TO BABY BABBLE AND BACKGROUND NOISE FROM ARE SISTER'S HOUSE.
>> No. 8998 Anonymous
28th October 2015
Wednesday 9:46 pm
8998 spacer
I just typed a load of detailed instructions into a Chinese manufacturer's website as I placed a biggish order.
There's no sign of the instructions in my confirmation order.
If I just get a huge bag of individual PCBs, not in panels, it's going to be a nightmare.
>> No. 8999 Anonymous
28th October 2015
Wednesday 10:32 pm
8999 spacer
>>8998
I don't know what PCBs are, but I know they are something that was/is banned. Flashbacks of food chains and GCSE biology.
>> No. 9000 Anonymous
28th October 2015
Wednesday 10:37 pm
9000 spacer
>>8999
I believe he means Printed Circuit Boards.
>> No. 9001 Anonymous
28th October 2015
Wednesday 10:45 pm
9001 spacer
>>8999

He's referring to printed circuit boards, you're thinking of polychlorinated biphenyl.

>>8998

Did you send them the gerbers for a whole panel, or for a single board? If it's the latter, then you're highly likely to get either a) depanelised boards or b) panels that won't quite work with some aspect of your assembly process.

Source: bitter experience.

There are some really useful "things I learned the hard way" in this video. Skip to about 17:00 for excellent advice on panelisation.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXE_dh38HjU
>> No. 9003 Anonymous
29th October 2015
Thursday 8:07 am
9003 spacer
>>9001 Did you send them the gerbers for a whole panel, or for a single board?

5 different designs, each to be in their own panel, with its own rules.
Doing my own panelisation is a bunch of work, and I just couldn't face doing it for all 5 boards, We'll see how badly I get punished.
Fortunately, my assembly machines are pretty tolerant - but hand-loading the 500 thumbnail sized boards individually has little appeal.
>> No. 9004 Anonymous
29th October 2015
Thursday 8:17 am
9004 spacer
>>9001
One of my favourite things about .gs. is scrolling through /*/ and learning about things I've never given a second's thought to in my life.
>> No. 9011 Anonymous
29th October 2015
Thursday 6:06 pm
9011 spacer
>Have we heard back from [client] about the report you did for me?
I don't know, did you pass it on to admin to issue out?
>No, I sent it out myself
Well, did you include the forms for [client] to sign and return to us?
>No, should I have done?

NO, LET'S JUST WAIT FOR THE CLIENT TO DEVELOP TELEPATHIC POWERS AND GET IN TOUCH WITH US THAT WAY INSTEAD.
>> No. 9019 Anonymous
4th November 2015
Wednesday 4:00 pm
9019 spacer
One evening last week someone at work accidentally set off the alarms, which meant the security company have charged us £200 for a call out as they weren't notified it was a false alarm.

The solution? To print out the number for the security company and instructions on how to notify them it's a false alarm instead of an intruder and place it right near the entrance. If we actually do have a burglar they won't believe their luck.
>> No. 9020 Anonymous
5th November 2015
Thursday 11:03 am
9020 spacer
It's that time of year where everyone in the office is getting colds, every fucker is sniffling and coughing and I've got a sore throat. This is now going to go on for at least a month of everyone re-infecting everyone else.
>> No. 9027 Anonymous
5th November 2015
Thursday 6:28 pm
9027 spacer
>>9020

A flu has already been going round my office since early September, I've managed to avoid it so far but caught tonsillitis instead.
>> No. 9028 Anonymous
5th November 2015
Thursday 10:00 pm
9028 spacer
>>9027
I blame it for the fact it's the week after half term, so the couple of people who had last week off have brought in their kid's germs.
>> No. 9029 Anonymous
12th November 2015
Thursday 5:48 pm
9029 spacer
They've had to send out an e-mail reminding staff not to try going on porn on their work laptop. I can't even access my private e-mails and someone else has managed to watch porn on theirs.
>> No. 9039 Anonymous
19th November 2015
Thursday 1:39 pm
9039 spacer
We have a shared cafeteria/canteen, where you can heat up your lunch and eat it with your friends. As I make my own hot lunch boxes, my lunches are pretty good - but I make them primarily not to feel hungry for the rest of the day.

Anyway, seldom but every now and then, I get a comment from some co-worker saying "that looks disgusting", "what is THAT?" or some other asinine remark to do with my lunch's appearance. This fucks me off to no end.

Sorry for not making my lunches to your standards.
>> No. 9040 Anonymous
19th November 2015
Thursday 5:23 pm
9040 spacer
>>9039
Why don't you tell him to fuck off? Is he fat? Tell him maybe he should eat "disgusting" food like yours to not be so morbidly obese. Or maybe he is skinny? Tell him he could use a few spoons of your "disgusting" curry, because he looks like he has TB.
>> No. 9041 Anonymous
19th November 2015
Thursday 7:21 pm
9041 spacer
>>9039
What are you taking in your packing up?
>> No. 9042 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 12:46 am
9042 spacer
>>9040
Well, it was a she, so I merely gave a look and said "Sorry", to which she immediately changed her tune, but I carried on eating, ignoring her faux-apologetic banter. Fuck off love, we aren't all Waitrose toffs with pre-made lunch salads.


>>9041
I made Cassoulet, came out amazing - but clearly doesn't look attractive enough in a plastic lunchbox.
>> No. 9043 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 1:02 am
9043 spacer
>>9042
>Cassoulet
Why? For God's sake, why? You deserve what she said and worse. I hate people like you who stink up everywhere with their disgusting food. Like that lad who used to bring in fish curry. Fuck off.
>> No. 9044 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 1:08 am
9044 spacer
>>9043

Dry your eyes m8.
>> No. 9045 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 1:11 am
9045 spacer
>>9043
Lad, you obviously haven't the foggiest clue what it is. Contrary to whatever Iceland cardboard you're used to, food does have an aroma when heated.
>> No. 9046 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 1:11 am
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>>9042
Recipe in /nom/ please. I'll make it just to spite her.
>> No. 9047 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 5:15 am
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>>8886
This description is so Croydon.
>> No. 9048 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 8:03 am
9048 spacer
>>9047

Careful. 'So Croydon' will be picked up by one of the paid internet plagiarists market researchers and become a tagline for some tourist board, heavily repeated in achingly post-snarky-ironic-but-not-really advertisements starring Matt Lucas as a shop assistant at Poundland.
>> No. 9049 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 8:37 am
9049 spacer
>>9048
I'm stunned at how many new word filters have been triggered in this one post.
>> No. 9050 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 8:49 am
9050 spacer
>>9049

Shamefully, those were all my own words.
>> No. 9051 Anonymous
20th November 2015
Friday 9:24 am
9051 spacer
>>9050

Thank god. I was worried that the wordfilters had reached some sort of transcendence where they were indistinguishable from a normal, all be it completely different conversation.
>> No. 9052 Anonymous
23rd November 2015
Monday 1:46 am
9052 spacer
>>8689

Why is Cadburys chocalote so shit in the UK? In Ireland it's great. The difference in flavour of a dairy milk here and there is huge... I just don't understand it, surely they use the same suppliers?
>> No. 9056 Anonymous
23rd November 2015
Monday 2:21 am
9056 spacer
>>9052
American conspiracy.
>> No. 9064 Anonymous
23rd November 2015
Monday 7:06 am
9064 spacer

city-main_1178944a.jpg
906490649064
>>9052
>> No. 9071 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 5:38 pm
9071 spacer
They're toying with the idea of stopping people from eating lunch at their desks and making us eat on some manky chairs next to the kitchenette area. Something about making sure we get away from our desks and some bollocks about encouraging cohesion.
>> No. 9072 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 6:12 pm
9072 spacer
>>9071
It isn't bollocks. There is sound evidence that eating at your desk is really rather bad for you, and that taking lunch at your desk rather than away from it reduces productivity. You're supposed to have a lunch break, and the idea of this is to make sure you take it.
>> No. 9073 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 6:42 pm
9073 spacer
I do everything I can to spend as little amount of time in the office as possible. It's not possible to go have lunch in the park, with the shitty weather during this time of year. I've been driving to a Wetherspoon's for lunch, the winter fattening up has started to begin.
>> No. 9074 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 7:00 pm
9074 spacer
>>9072
Socialising is incredibly important in the workplace as well.
>> No. 9075 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 7:30 pm
9075 spacer
>>9074
I really hate this. Life is so difficult.
>> No. 9076 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 7:56 pm
9076 spacer
>>9072>>9074
The atmosphere at work is fine, it certainly doesn't need any measures imposing to try and make us more sociable with one another.

By all means encourage people to sit together at lunch, but don't outright ban eating at your desk. Most people, including myself, go out at least two or three times a week during lunch breaks anyway. Barring a couple of people, I like everyone there so just let me sit at my desk, eat my lunch and surf the internet. I'm happy with the talking flowing naturally throughout the day, I don't need forced conversations for a fucking hour.
>> No. 9077 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 8:11 pm
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>>9076
Would you like your bosses to let you drink and smoke at your desk too?
>> No. 9078 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 8:35 pm
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>>9077
We do drink wine in the office during work hours, albeit infrequently.
>> No. 9096 Anonymous
4th December 2015
Friday 5:35 pm
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UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING UPSKILLING
>> No. 9097 Anonymous
4th December 2015
Friday 5:39 pm
9097 spacer
Is it normal to have extremely violent thoughts concerning your co-workers?
>> No. 9098 Anonymous
4th December 2015
Friday 5:46 pm
9098 spacer
>>9097

If you suffer from a borderline personality disorder, then intrusive thoughts like that are a symptom of an abnormal stress response.

It's not something that goes away, as such, if that is what is wrong. You learn to cope with it. You just have to self analyse and recognise when it's happening, as well as not hating yourself for it or dwelling on it too much as it is in no way indicative of your likelihood to carry out such acts (assuming BPD).
>> No. 9099 Anonymous
9th December 2015
Wednesday 4:14 pm
9099 spacer
I don't usually do, but I needed to take a shit at work. Anyway, it was a little heftier than expected and it took a good few yanks of the handle to flush the bastard(s) down, and a curse or two for good measure. I come out, and behind me is a chap taking a piss at the urinal. My autism kicks in and I wash my hands in double haste and get the fuck out of there.
>> No. 9110 Anonymous
13th December 2015
Sunday 4:02 pm
9110 spacer
Going out for a meal and being expected towplit the bill equally when only half of the table order starters and/or puddings or the most expensive meals on the menu.
>> No. 9111 Anonymous
13th December 2015
Sunday 4:04 pm
9111 spacer
>>9110
Oo ya stingy get.
>> No. 9112 Anonymous
13th December 2015
Sunday 4:13 pm
9112 spacer
>>9099
I start an office job in the new year and I shit like three times a day, I'm a bit nervous.

I hope people don't judge me.
>> No. 9113 Anonymous
13th December 2015
Sunday 4:32 pm
9113 spacer
>>9110
Going out for a meal and some cheap prick is whining about how to split the bill.

Slightly more annoying than work being too cheap to just expense the whole thing like a decent employer would.
>> No. 9114 Anonymous
13th December 2015
Sunday 4:43 pm
9114 spacer
>>9111>>9113
I don't mind splitting the bill when it's with friends, i.e. I like everyone there, but I object to subsidising cunts who take the piss.
>> No. 9115 Anonymous
13th December 2015
Sunday 7:08 pm
9115 spacer
>>9114
Yeah, I'm sure I could think of much better things to be spending that 50p on.
>> No. 9120 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 12:47 am
9120 spacer
It's the Christmas works do on Friday and we're supposed to hand over our secret Santa gifts as well. I haven't bought the person anything because I haven't got a clue about her, so I'm going to pop into Thornton's and get her a tenners worth of chocolates.
>> No. 9121 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 1:00 am
9121 spacer
>>9120
Christmas party season has arrived in our office, it seems. One of the toilets was completely blocked by a lovely mix of puke and paper hand towels. The hand towels which some cunt keeps chucking large wodges of into the bog where they, lo and behold, do not dissolve and instead just cause an water logged sludgy plug to form blocking the damn thing. Except this time they weren't water logged, they'd formed a near-solid blob of paper and puke that looked solid enough use as an anvil.

Whoever did it owes the cleaning staff a bottle of something really nice, because from the looks of it that thing wasn't going to go down without a fight.
>> No. 9122 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 7:14 am
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>>9120
>Thornton's

I'm guessing you don't like her very much, then?
>> No. 9127 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 1:04 pm
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>>9122
Yeah I couldn't really give a toss, I've most probably interacted with her for less than 5 minutes in total throughout the year. When I pulled her name out I had to ask who she was, because she's just totally off my radar.
>> No. 9129 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 3:13 pm
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>>9127
Phwoar I'd interact with her for 5 minutes IYKWIM.
>> No. 9130 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 5:22 pm
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>>9129
You wouldn't. She's a middle aged frumpy harridan.
>> No. 9147 Anonymous
29th December 2015
Tuesday 5:25 pm
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Today was a weird day, but I suppose that goes with the lull between Christmas and New Year. I managed to stretch out reviewing my inbox for the entire morning and it's the quietest I've known the motorway to be. Not a bad day, actually.
>> No. 9148 Anonymous
29th December 2015
Tuesday 5:41 pm
9148 spacer
>>9147
I've done a couple of stints of office work over the Christmas period before now, they were actually pretty enjoyable. Nobody expected the office to be functional so the atmosphere was really laid back, and there were almost no interruptions, so when I did need to do some work I could actually get on and do it in peace.

Some of it was time and a half too, I think.

The downside was missing out on that magical period of the year where society decides to flip alcoholism from being a vice to a virtue.
>> No. 9149 Anonymous
30th December 2015
Wednesday 5:15 pm
9149 spacer
There's a new starter, sitting opposite me, and she's so softly spoken that half the time I can't actually hear what she's saying. I either say 'yeah' or laugh whenever she's finished talking but she could have said absolutely anything.
>> No. 9150 Anonymous
30th December 2015
Wednesday 8:13 pm
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>>9149
How is this an annoyance? She honestly sounds to me like the perfect coworker. On a related note, I seem to have finally reached that stage where my colleagues will let me do my work without talking to me for upwards of an hour before they try to engage me in conversation. It is bliss.
>> No. 9151 Anonymous
30th December 2015
Wednesday 10:08 pm
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>>9150
Because it happens several times a day and it's awkward.
>> No. 9152 Anonymous
30th December 2015
Wednesday 11:12 pm
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>>9149
Do you work at the Guardian?
>> No. 9153 Anonymous
31st December 2015
Thursday 12:11 am
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>>9150
Tell them that you are on the spectrum and are anti-social.
>> No. 9154 Anonymous
31st December 2015
Thursday 12:24 am
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>>9153
I'm neither, and you don't appear to be aware of what the word "anti-social" means. Anti-social behaviour is that which causes or is likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress in people; or generally that which actively causes harm to the well-being of others. Since you can't tell the difference between wanting to get on quietly with one's work and shoving Gemma from HR's head in the photocopier I don't think you should be giving advice on how to liaise with one's employer.
>> No. 9155 Anonymous
31st December 2015
Thursday 12:30 am
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>>9154

You sound like you actually are on the spectrum. Have we had actual autist before?
>> No. 9156 Anonymous
31st December 2015
Thursday 12:36 am
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>>9155

Several.
>> No. 9157 Anonymous
31st December 2015
Thursday 12:49 am
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>>9154
The thing is that... You are coming off like you are on the spectrum, and the level of hatred in that post suggests a bit of anti-social in you too.
>> No. 9158 Anonymous
31st December 2015
Thursday 1:29 am
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>>9154

We've all been there mate, although to be fair it wasn't her head I was trying to get on the photocopier...
>> No. 9181 Anonymous
4th January 2016
Monday 10:18 pm
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>>9114
What if you have a mate who takes the piss?
We have one who instigated the "let's just split the bill equally, we're all friends so it's give and take" thing and ever since has always had this obsession with drinking as fast as possible to get at least 1 preferably 2 more expensive restaurant pints than everyone else, have an extra starter on top of everyone else etc.
Not so bad when there are a good number of us but kind of annoying really when it's just the 3 of us (often) but not quite enough to be a dick about it.

>>9150
I am an undiagnosed autist and spend most of my day at work wishing my co-worker would just shut the fuck up for 2 minutes. All the "morning! morning! morning! morning!" when trying to get your coffee before you start is quite annoying as well
>> No. 9182 Anonymous
4th January 2016
Monday 10:20 pm
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>>9181
You probably encouraged them by saying "morning" back. Big mistake.
>> No. 9183 Anonymous
4th January 2016
Monday 10:23 pm
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>>9182
Sadly I'm not quite deep enough on the spectrum not to realise that's really rude and probably not good for relations and whatnot. Otherwise I'd probably go for "fuck off, getting coffee"
>> No. 9185 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 4:44 am
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>>9183

>"fuck off, getting coffee"

I do enjoy that I work in an environment where I can and do get to say stuff like this. In fact I could say "fuck off, go get me some coffee" and it would be taken in good fun, and I'd actually get the coffee too.

Miserable existence otherwise though.
>> No. 9186 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 5:23 am
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>>9185
What do you do?
>> No. 9187 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 5:29 am
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>>9186

He's a sweary cunt.
>> No. 9189 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 8:24 am
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download.jpg
918991899189

>> No. 9190 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 5:59 pm
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>Coming to me with a problem at 16:58, which takes me until 17:01 to make an attempt at sorting. Then coming back while I'm putting my coat on and walking out of the door to say it's not working

Tough shit, I'm done for the day!

It's the same guy who always pesters you 5 minutes before you've started or during your breaks as well, and seems to time everything specifically for then.

As long as the company has clocking machines and a near zero-tolerance policy on timekeeping, 17:00 means "I've stopped caring now, fuck off, I'll care tomorrow after 8". If I'd probably sat down and troubleshooted this thing I'd be 10-15 minutes late home, but if I were more than 5 minutes late to work I'd get half hour docked from my pay, so no, sod off.
>> No. 9191 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 6:07 pm
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>>9190
I'm glad that at my place nobody has to be a clock-watching cunt. It's nice to be treated like an adult by being allowed the freedom to structure your day to best accomplish your tasks.
>> No. 9192 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 6:51 pm
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>>9190
>>9191

I've always found it inordinately unfair that per-hour jobs that don't pay overtime even exist. My missus has a terrible clock-watching job where she's disciplined if she's even a minute late more than twice in a three month period but at least the bastards pay her if she ends up being there overtime.
>> No. 9194 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 10:00 pm
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>>9191
I tend to think (though I know intentions don't always translate to actions) that if they did treat us like adults then I'd certainly be more inclined to give and take, probably more give because I'd feel guilty with every take. But like everything, "someone might abuse it!" etc.

>>9192
We can theoretically get overtime but only if it's a pre-arranged thing signed off by a director in advance - which they will definitely not do lightly - not for staying back for 15 minutes fixing something (that in this case could easily wait til tomorrow. I'd have a bit more sympathy if it was a "gotta sort this right now or we lose money" thing). The clocking system doesn't even flag it up unless it's more than 30 minutes overtime, but even then there'd need to be a pre-signed form in HR for them to take any notice of it.
>> No. 9197 Anonymous
5th January 2016
Tuesday 11:31 pm
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>>9194
If someone approaches you five minutes before you need to go, interrupt them saying you desperately need a piss, and tell them that they should have come to you earlier. Then, when questioned about it the following morning make it clear that it wouldn't have been a problem if only someone had their priorities in order. Also, go for your "piss" before clocking out. If they won't treat you like an adult, then you're hardly obliged to act like one.
>> No. 9265 Anonymous
15th January 2016
Friday 7:52 am
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It's time of year again.

"Are Riley is right clever. He's won a national competition and he's going to have his poem published in a book! My little cleverclogs."

In a couple of weeks she'll buy two copies, but not before complaining she has to pay £16 for each of them.
>> No. 9309 Anonymous
21st January 2016
Thursday 7:28 pm
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What's the point in making annotations in pen or paper on the hard copy of the report you gave to me, before passing it back to you, when I can take a picture of each page on my tablet, write the annotations on screen and email every page individually to you?
>> No. 9310 Anonymous
21st January 2016
Thursday 7:55 pm
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People who never click "Reply All" when there are people CC'd into the email.

Although it's equally as annoying when an email trail lasts for ages, and no one thinks of removing people who are no longer involved.


>>9309

I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or if you're just a technology-obsessed twat.
>> No. 9311 Anonymous
21st January 2016
Thursday 9:01 pm
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>>9309
Because you don't have a dog and bark for it.
>> No. 9312 Anonymous
21st January 2016
Thursday 10:04 pm
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>>9310

Honestly don't get why people get so upset with some office emails, particularly if it's two people having a joke.

Takes all of about 30 seconds maximum to ctrl and select and then just delete.

I spend more time in an office with people than I do with my own family, I try not to get upset over nothing.
>> No. 9313 Anonymous
21st January 2016
Thursday 10:23 pm
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>>9312
>Takes all of about 30 seconds maximum to ctrl and select and then just delete.
>I spend more time in an office with people than I do with my own family, I try not to get upset over nothing.

True, you can delete them easily enough, but when you're receiving ~50 to 100 emails a day and half of them are nothing to do with you, other people being a little bit more considerate can make a massive difference to how much work you get done.
>> No. 9314 Anonymous
21st January 2016
Thursday 11:54 pm
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For my sins, I'm a bus driver. Anyway...

People who don't indicate.
People who think that overtaking me in rush hour traffic will achieve anything (well done on that 10 second advantage, Alan Prost.)
Passengers who walk up to my bus, then ask if I'm going to the destination that is clearly displayed in what, 10 inch letters at the front?
Old people that ask why I'm late at 9:10am. Just because you're not working any more, doesn't mean that everyone else isn't.
Old people who then decide to sit on the upper deck after complaining that I'm late. I can't efficiently pull away from the stop knowing that there are passengers who are probably unsteady on their feet still wandering about. Besides, they don't bounce as well as teenagers.
Passengers who see me at a stop, and still decide to saunter over to the stop like some sort of 1930s caricature of person suffering from reefer madness.
Passengers that expect me to see them stood at a completely unlit bus stop, dressed in black, at 6:20am on a rainy December morning. Not only am I contending with the oncoming traffic fucking my night vision up, the windscreen is at the perfect angle to reflect the half asleep passengers sat on the nearside of the bus.
"that's £3.20 please" "oh okay, I have £5.70 in a variety of change because I want £2.50 back"
People paying in coppers.
People paying in 5ps.
People who are 10th in the queue, and yet don't even comprehend that they need to get their bus pass out until they get to the front.
People who can't pause a phone call for 10 fucking seconds whilst I deal with them.

Would you believe that I enjoy the job more often than not though?
>> No. 9315 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 1:21 am
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>>9314
I've noticed that buses have started indicating on some roads to let drivers coming the other way know that they're going to go past a bunch of parked cars rather than wait and let them pass, even when there's plenty enough space for a bus and a car to pass each other. I don't like it.
>> No. 9316 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 7:15 am
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>>9314
What about students who don't understand how to signal for a bus so instead of sticking their arms out they watch on as the bus goes straight past them, with the gormless expression on their faces to turning into utter bewilderment, before going home to rant on their nearest imageboard about bus driver cunts?

Since moving to West Yorkshire I've noticed that cars will almost always drive around a bus indicating to pull out from a stop, as if giving way and letting it out makes you a great big poof or something.
>> No. 9317 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 10:57 am
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>>9316
International students? Students from towns where the buses actually do pull over at every stop (though I can't say I know of any)? Or are you suggesting they are literally so mollycoddled or upper class they literally don't know how to hail a bus? I just have trouble believing that there are enough such people for you to post about it.
>> No. 9318 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 12:11 pm
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>>9317
To be fair, the bus stopping mechanic when I moved to my uni city is different from my home city. At home, it was enough to stand on the edge of the pavement and look at the bus to signal you want it to stop. At uni, I ended up being 30 minutes late for my first shift at work as the bus just drove on by. Turns out you needed to stick your arm out, and neither me nor the 15 Chinese students waiting for the same bus knew that.
>> No. 9319 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 2:49 pm
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>>9316
We don't have time to wait for the peasant wagon to take some plebs to their call centre/old peoples home, if you ain't poor buses are only good for passing.
>> No. 9320 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 2:53 pm
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I was in Berlin this Christmas, I've been many times - but rarely do I ever get the bus because the U-Bahn is just that great.

Anyway, I see the bus coming and stick my arm out as I would here. He stops, and sort of peeks at me over his glasses, and says something of the following in German "Am I taxi?", "Only taxis stop for people like that!" - instead of amusing him further with my pigeon German, I blurted out some English in an attempt to play the oblivious tourist card. Worked, along with a nice nervous chuckle and smile to wash it all down.

To be fair, if I didn't do the whole indication thing, how the hell would I have known that he would stop? Jeez....
>> No. 9321 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 3:27 pm
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>>9320

I've spent several years in Germany on and off, but I still play the dumb tourist when I get caught jaywalking.
>> No. 9322 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 5:32 pm
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>>9317
>I just have trouble believing that there are enough such people for you to post about it.

Need I bring up ambulancelad or the lad who had an absolute shitfit because his mum had asked him to phone up to order a takeaway and he couldn't handle it?

IIRC, it was a country bumpkin but there was definitely a post a year or two back from a studentlad who couldn't comprehend why a bus didn't stop for him when all he did was stare blankly at it.
>> No. 9323 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 5:40 pm
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>>9318

This amuses me somewhat. It's as though your hometown is so shit there's only one place worth going, and that's fucking anywhere else; therefore the bus driver doesn't have to worry about which bus you are actually waiting for, he knows you'll get on his out of sheer desperation.

While we're raging about public transport, I'd like to add that cities like Leeds, Manchester and Birmingham deserve underground railways already. The trams they are planning are a joke, trams work in places like Sheffield because it's such a mess of a city that literally any alternative is better than road transport; however for places with quite a competent road layout a non-interfering alternative is needed.
>> No. 9324 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 5:47 pm
9324 spacer
>>9323
>Leeds
>places with quite a competent road layout

Have you actually driven around central Leeds?
>> No. 9325 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 6:09 pm
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>>9324

For several years I had to every day. It's actually one of the better cities for roads once you're used to the loop and inner ring road's quirks, and having the M621 swing so close to the city centre is fucking amazing compared to other cities where you've no choice but to go through miles of neglected estates.
>> No. 9326 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 6:20 pm
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>>9323

The new tram systems are great, as long as you're one of the few people travelling within walking distance of the route.

Birmingham, and the West-Midlands conurbation as a whole, are probably nowhere near densely-populated enough to justify the expense of an underground railway. Birmingham is already quite well-served by several cross-city railways. And because the city-centre is pretty much walking distance from one side of the other, it means that the main need for public transport is travelling to the centre from the suburbs, whereas in London there is a lot of demand for travel within the central area itself.

Perhaps the trams aren't that bad, they're a fairly inexpensive way of filling in some of the gaps in the existing transport system and improving capacity.
>> No. 9327 Anonymous
22nd January 2016
Friday 8:06 pm
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>>9323
Not him, but things work differently outside of the biggest cities. Outside the urban bubble, typically you'll go to the local bus stop where you have one service (or maybe a couple of services all going the same way) into town, then you'll return by going to the specific stop at the bus station your bus uses, where the bus will have to stop for timing reasons anyway. The driver can safely assume that if you're stood at a bus stop you're heading the same way his bus is going, and so he'll stop for you. Even in larger towns, what tends to happen is that the driver will see you at a stop, slow down to see if you want his bus, and only speed up if you give him a signal that you're not going his way.

Hailing a bus is only really a thing in larger cities where you have things like direct and indirect routes, multiple operators without common ticketing, unrelated buses sharing stops, etc. which mean you need to flag down a specific bus rather than simply taking whatever comes along.
>> No. 9328 Anonymous
23rd January 2016
Saturday 9:38 am
9328 spacer
Apparently I'm a bit of a racist for complaining that I'm not happy when one of the administrators does work for me because her standard of written English is poor and it'll make the wrong impression with clients and suppliers. She's got Bangladeshi ancestry, but she must be at least third generation as she has an English name, is married to an Englishman and has a local accent. My issue is that she can't write for shit, not that she's brown.
>> No. 9330 Anonymous
23rd January 2016
Saturday 2:22 pm
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>>9328
If that's the least of your accusations of racism, you're lucky.

My mother works in government, and there is a terrible bloke there. From Uganda I think, I could be wrong, I know he was from south of the equator. Anyway, since the day he got his job he's sat in his office doing nothing, and if any work comes his way he gives it to my mother or one of her colleagues saying "women do the work where I come from" or some such nonsense. He's also said that if they try and fire him he'll bring a racial discrimination suit.

My mother is the most left leaning, bleeding heart person you will ever meet. So I know she isn't exaggurating this. I'm surprised she told me at all. She ended up taking a sideways promotion just to get out of the office and away from him. This was about ten years ago, I wonder if he still works there now.
>> No. 9331 Anonymous
23rd January 2016
Saturday 5:32 pm
9331 spacer
>>9327

A fair summary of the reasoning I suppose, but looking at a map of the UK, it seems that the density of towns/villages etc between cities is of such a level that it must be far more common to live somewhere with multiple bus destinations, than it is to live in a place where there is one and only one "Town" you'd ever be trying to reach.

Connurbations for the win I suppose.
>> No. 9332 Anonymous
23rd January 2016
Saturday 8:43 pm
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>>9331
Not the case around Cambridge.
>> No. 9333 Anonymous
23rd January 2016
Saturday 10:17 pm
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>>9331
Buses in the country aren't usually that frequent. It's unusual for villages at a crossroads to have buses both ways, and when they do it's unusual for them to be timed for interchange.
>> No. 9334 Anonymous
23rd January 2016
Saturday 11:14 pm
9334 spacer
>>9333
Your mum was timed for interchange when I switched lanes
from her V to her A last night.
>> No. 9335 Anonymous
26th January 2016
Tuesday 6:01 pm
9335 spacer
It's pissing it down something biblical outside, and some utter fucking cuntface has decided to "borrow" my umbrella. Naturally I have taken the only reasonable course of action open to me, namely "borrowing" another umbrella.
>> No. 9336 Anonymous
26th January 2016
Tuesday 6:18 pm
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>>9332
Cambridge is surrounded by a green belt though, it's hardly typical of the UK in general.
>> No. 9337 Anonymous
26th January 2016
Tuesday 6:36 pm
9337 spacer
>>9336
So what you're saying is that the experience of various posters in this thread is invalid because you once looked at a map? That sounds totally legit.
>> No. 9338 Anonymous
31st January 2016
Sunday 9:15 am
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We have a clock in and out machine and have to use it when we go for our break since it's not a paid one. The only problem is I work in a cash centre and have to pass through an air lock to get out of the place which means I lose around 5 minutes of my break getting in and out.
>> No. 9339 Anonymous
31st January 2016
Sunday 8:06 pm
9339 spacer
>>9338

Please elaborate on your route in and put of your workplace. Including any door codes.

Many Thanks,

G Agdgdgwngo
>> No. 9340 Anonymous
31st January 2016
Sunday 8:21 pm
9340 spacer
>>9339
>Agdgdgwngo
Racist.
>> No. 9341 Anonymous
31st January 2016
Sunday 9:47 pm
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4203889533a5613998047l.jpg
934193419341
>>9340
Is that the door code sir?
>> No. 9342 Anonymous
31st January 2016
Sunday 10:29 pm
9342 spacer
>>9341
I liked Terry Tibbs better, you racist.
>> No. 9343 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 12:02 pm
9343 spacer
>>9342

Terry Tibbs is amazing.

"I'll tell you this in a man's voice; fuck off!"
>> No. 9344 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 5:30 pm
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THERE'S A LONG LINE OF PEOPLE QUEUING BEHIND ME TO BUY MEAL DEALS. ALTHOUGH I HAVE THE NECESSARY £3 IN MY POCKET I'M GOING TO PAY BY CARD SO THE TRANSACTION TAKES TWICE AS LONG.
>> No. 9345 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 5:37 pm
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>>9344
No customer should be blamed when a shop or eatery refuses to get with the times and get a card machine from this century.
>> No. 9346 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 6:14 pm
9346 spacer
>>9345
>Just get with the times, man.

Card transactions are expensive for small businesses.
>> No. 9347 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 6:22 pm
9347 spacer
>>9346
Why?
>> No. 9348 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 6:35 pm
9348 spacer
>>9347
Because there's a fixed charge which is therefore disproportionately large for small businesses.
>> No. 9349 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 7:14 pm
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>>9346
Surely the problem >>9345 describes is that they have a card machine, just not one that supports contactless payment?
>> No. 9350 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 7:58 pm
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>>9349

Or just an old slow machine. Some older ones can take forever to approve a transaction. Modern ones approve it almost instantly after you enter your PIN.
>> No. 9351 Anonymous
1st February 2016
Monday 9:30 pm
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>>9348
This. Depending on how much bargaining power they have and the type of card you're paying with, they tend to have to pay a combination of fixed and proportional fees, and for small transactions the fixed part becomes disproportionate. Typically for a credit card you get a smaller lump and a higher percentage, and the reason nobody takes American Express unless they have to is because they want anything up to twice as much as Visa or MasterCard.
>> No. 9352 Anonymous
2nd February 2016
Tuesday 7:09 am
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>>9350
>Modern ones approve it almost instantly after you enter your PIN

Provided the shopkeep approves the transaction in a timely manner.
>> No. 9353 Anonymous
2nd February 2016
Tuesday 10:34 pm
9353 spacer
"I want to pay on my card. I'm going to whip it out of nowhere and stick it right in the machine, ignoring the staff member saying "wait don't put it in yet" before I even get my arm up. Then I will get annoyed when the machine crashes even though it's entirely my fault."

"I'm a customer and I'm going to pretend like I don't care what size photograph I want developing. Just give me the normal one. But not the standard size, that's too big. I want the smaller size. I will not tell you this until they have printed. Deal with it."
>> No. 9354 Anonymous
2nd February 2016
Tuesday 11:58 pm
9354 spacer
My workplace has recently attempted to instate rotas in order to ensure all of us (read: the one lazy "disabled" fuckwit who never pulls her weight) are sharing tasks equally. All that has happened is that the people who usually do the work are following the rota, and the one lazy "disabled" fuckwit who never pulls her weight is ignoring the rota. Said lazy "disabled" fuckwit, upon being questioned as to why a certain task assigned to her has not been done, then revealed that she did not know how to do it. She has been there 5 years longer than all of us.

Oh, and I put "disabled" in quotation marks because her limp magically seems to become markedly less severe when she believes she's not being watched.
>> No. 9355 Anonymous
3rd February 2016
Wednesday 12:38 am
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>>9354
you dont work at boots do you lad?
>> No. 9356 Anonymous
3rd February 2016
Wednesday 1:05 am
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>>9355
No, and while I'm here being angry at the lazy and unmotivated who don't put any effort in, tidy up your posts.
>> No. 9357 Anonymous
3rd February 2016
Wednesday 1:22 am
9357 spacer
>>9356
Oh, a shame, I knew a lazy girl with a limp when I worked at boots, funny how she could sit at the register and get away with doing basically jack shit but scanning items but whenever the boss was out she walked fine. She was great to talk to and had a wonderful sense of humor but my fucking god she was lazy. Some people just play the game. It also magically went away when I porked her in the stock room 5 months into the job.

What are you talking about? Are you having a go because I didn't capitalize?
>> No. 9358 Anonymous
3rd February 2016
Wednesday 6:51 am
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>>9353
When I worked in Tesco, while I was at uni, I had a real stroppy teenager trying to demand cash back after she'd already paid for her shopping. It took her a while to accept that she'd have to use the cash machines just outside the store. Nothing like asking for it between being told how much your bill is and actually paying on your card.

>>9354
There's 9 people in my current team and we've been dumped with 90 cases out of the blue and told to do them all in 4 working days. Our manager, who didn't think to forewarn us of this, has decided to allocate them out evenly instead of taking into account everyone's existing workload. As such, the three people with hardly any work on have done nearly 20 cases between them in one day whereas the remaining 6 of us have managed 1 in total because we're too busy and the existing work we have on is too important just to drop simply because someone hung on to all the cases since November and now urgently need doing.
>> No. 9359 Anonymous
4th February 2016
Thursday 5:09 am
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People who think freelancing means you can dick about and don't need to plan things. Wankers.
>> No. 9360 Anonymous
4th February 2016
Thursday 9:59 pm
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>>9357
I'll be honest I'm pretty fucking lazy. I've always been lazy, I dealt with it at uni by getting proper systems and diaries and routines but found taking a scheduled system from my own studies to a very inconsistent day job very hard.

Push comes to shove I do get my things done but I piss well over half my time arsing around doing fuck all.
>> No. 9361 Anonymous
4th February 2016
Thursday 11:41 pm
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>>9320

In the US the driver just stops at the stop unless you wave him on
>> No. 9362 Anonymous
5th February 2016
Friday 7:59 am
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>>9360

You're not lazy, it's normal to not do things you don't enjoy doing, preferring to do things which are interesting. It's not your fault so many people need to produce vast quantities of interesting and distracting things in order to pay the rent.
>> No. 9363 Anonymous
6th February 2016
Saturday 6:41 am
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I have to work with these two 50 to 60+ year olds. Unfortunately I have to listen to their bigoted views on capital punishment, prisons being too soft and casual racism. Part of it is a generational thing the other is being brainwashed by tabloid propaganda.

I did a fairly good job arguing against capital punishment but obviously failed to convince them. Good thing we've moved on from biblical laws eh? And the law agrees with me. Wish people wouldn't bring this shit up at work and keep it lighthearted. In the end we just agreed to disagree.
>> No. 9364 Anonymous
6th February 2016
Saturday 11:44 am
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My company buys loo roll slighty too big for the holders, which means the rolls have to be precariously balanced on top of the holder and fall off into the bog occasionally.
>> No. 9365 Anonymous
6th February 2016
Saturday 5:46 pm
9365 spacer
>>9364

Oh that grinds my fucking gears. Probably some idiot sees that the bigger ones seem cheaper due to being bigger.
>> No. 9366 Anonymous
7th February 2016
Sunday 11:02 am
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People who insist everything warrants bringing in doughnuts or cakes.

Win the office lottery? 'You'd think you'd share some of the wealth and get some cakes in anon'

Do something stupid? 'You need to atone by bringing in some doughnuts haha!'

Payrise, voucher win, or other good forutne? 'Anon come on you won't miss it.'

It's like 60p for some doughnuts or a quid for some cookies, I don't know why these people get so happy and spend so much time shilling for people to bring in free food.

As adults, they can literally go to the shop and buy as many as they like.
>> No. 9367 Anonymous
7th February 2016
Sunday 11:09 am
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>>9366
Last week we had an all-day meeting, which they brought sandwiches, sausage rolls, mini pizzas, etc. in for and one of the women had a massive shitfit because there wasn't anything gluten free. She doesn't even have a gluten intolerance, she's simply decided to fad diet without actually informing the people ordering the food in. The moment the leftovers were put in the main office the were over it like a swarm of locusts.
>> No. 9368 Anonymous
7th February 2016
Sunday 11:13 am
9368 spacer
>>9366

Yes that aspect of office "culture" is awful. Those same people are also always the worst at Xmas parties and similar. I honestly don't know why there are not more massacres at offices.
>> No. 9369 Anonymous
7th February 2016
Sunday 11:53 am
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>>9367
Well you can't expect them to work if you're not going to bribe them properly, can you?
>> No. 9370 Anonymous
9th February 2016
Tuesday 5:41 pm
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Those under the age of 25. I find it hard to believe someone in their early twenties hasn't heard of Blackadder. I'm not that much older, but the 90s was full of repeats of comedies before my time.
>> No. 9371 Anonymous
9th February 2016
Tuesday 6:31 pm
9371 spacer
>>9366
This sent a chill down my spine.
Despite working in a huge uni research group, it's no different.
I don't mind bringing in something I baked for a few closer work friends (or even friends in this case), but I can't be fucked doing it for every prick in the group.

Another good one is card signing, love that shit lads. Can't wait to see my inbox filled with passive-aggressive emails to come down and sign a card for some cunt that I've never met or care about.
If I make it my business not to come down, you always get some overly pro-active bint that will harass people at lunch time, and not to seem like a dickhead, writing something utterly benign and meaningless such as "All the best", is my go-to. Covers all the bases, birthdays, vivas, leaving, etc...
>> No. 9372 Anonymous
9th February 2016
Tuesday 7:20 pm
9372 spacer
>>9371
I think it's because women like 'being good', so they won't bring in cakes themselves but if anyone else does then they have delude themselves into believing they've been led astray.

Anyway, in work birthday cards I always put 'Have a good one!' If anyone dares to write that before the card gets to me then I'll cut them open in their sleep.
>> No. 9373 Anonymous
9th February 2016
Tuesday 8:07 pm
9373 spacer
I write "Best of luck in the future!" in birthday cards and "Many happy returns!" in leaving cards. Neve been called on it yet.
>> No. 9374 Anonymous
10th February 2016
Wednesday 5:20 pm
9374 spacer
I'M THE LOW WINTER SUN. I'M GOING TO POSITION MYSELF IN BETWEEN EVERY TINY GAP I CAN FIND AT THE EDGES OF THE BLINDS AND SHINE STRAIGHT IN YOUR EYES.
>> No. 9375 Anonymous
11th February 2016
Thursday 11:36 am
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>>9372
My standby is "Wishing you the best in your future endeavours".
>> No. 9385 Anonymous
16th February 2016
Tuesday 11:15 pm
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>>9375
Also known as the 'I have no idea who you are'.
>> No. 9386 Anonymous
17th February 2016
Wednesday 6:28 am
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It's half-term. Parents taking their bastard kids everywhere, so if I go out on my lunch break I'm surrounded by the screechy little shitbags.
>> No. 9387 Anonymous
17th February 2016
Wednesday 7:27 am
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>>9386

What's your problem with kids? Are you a nonce?
>> No. 9388 Anonymous
19th February 2016
Friday 5:47 pm
9388 spacer
Someone accidentally deleted over 100 reports that couldn't be recovered because they were created today, i.e. after the system was backed up last night.

The Director's [genuine] response? "Call the police. They can track down porn on a computer so they'll be able to find this."
>> No. 9389 Anonymous
19th February 2016
Friday 6:19 pm
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Doing timesheets when there is nothing on, and you know you're doing nothing, but the manager is insistent there will be no 'general duties' so you have to stick down that you're training yourself or some fucking wankpiss.
>> No. 9390 Anonymous
19th February 2016
Friday 6:47 pm
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>>9389
Continuous Personal Development. I chalk up all kinds of dicking around as CPD.
>> No. 9391 Anonymous
19th February 2016
Friday 10:46 pm
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>>9390
Oh don't. We've got to do our Personal Development Reviews next week; writing about "how I have effectively achieved objectives in my job" for anything longer than 15 minutes makes me want to crawl into a hole.
>> No. 9392 Anonymous
20th February 2016
Saturday 10:53 am
9392 spacer
>>9391
I've avoided a "real job" for 10 years now, (work in a uni), and bollocks like that makes my skin crawl. I always imagined if I managed a company, I wouldn't want to treat my staff like a bunch of 6 year olds.
>> No. 9393 Anonymous
20th February 2016
Saturday 11:27 am
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>>9392
You've got to have appraisals, but I haven't been at a company yet where they weren't bloated with HR wankery.
>> No. 9394 Anonymous
20th February 2016
Saturday 11:38 am
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>>9392
I am >>9391, and I work in a university. As >>9393 says, most workplaces are bloated with HR wankery, especially an institution of my size. Treating the staff like 6 year olds seems to be precisely their business model, and has been for some years.
>> No. 9395 Anonymous
20th February 2016
Saturday 12:37 pm
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little friend.png
939593959395
In a way I'm lucky because in my company nobody has any time for any sort of HR wankery. The most we have along lines of CPD is a 15 minute yearly review, and this only happens at all because it's enforced as part of our ISO 9001 accreditation.

On the other hand, I'm not at all lucky, because no one in our company has any time for anything. Hence people like >>9389 moaning about having no real work to put on their timesheets really grates my nuts.
>> No. 9396 Anonymous
23rd February 2016
Tuesday 11:08 am
9396 spacer
I'm working from home today. I'd forgotten that the network connection off-site is so slow that it takes the best part of 10 minutes for an email to send and you can just about write off trying to do anything involving our back office system.
>> No. 9432 Anonymous
1st March 2016
Tuesday 10:58 pm
9432 spacer
Does everyone still get nervous as fuck looking for new jobs? I've had like, three jobs in a decade, and when I did move, usually it was with other people I already knew. Going in to an entirely new place, straight into a leadership role. I just feel like the ruse that I'm a competent adult will surely get found out.

I also feel like when I have an interview and they do invite me back, they're just being nice. But I think that's my own crippling anxiety, which I'm only now aware of that I've left the shell of comfortable jobs where people just gave me responsibilities instead of me explicitly signing up for them.
>> No. 9434 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 1:47 am
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>>9432

Yeah, that's inevitable for any new job.

It's a funny thing how your nerves manage to get the better of what is probably the only consistent truth you've known regardless of your job- That almost every fucker else in the place is an incompetent fuckwit and you're the only one who really knows what you're doing.

It'll all go back to normal after the first few weeks, once you have got yourself used to the lay of the land, the who's who, and what have you. Just keep yourself to yourself until then and it'll be fine.
>> No. 9435 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 1:56 am
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>>9434

>It'll all go back to normal after the first few weeks, once you have got yourself used to the lay of the land, the who's who, and what have you. Just keep yourself to yourself until then and it'll be fine.

I'm in an awkward part of my career where I'm going in to things as second in command. Any higher in the chain and there'd be nobody to openly judge me, any lower and mistakes would be expected. I'm in the exact sweet spot where I'm expected to be on the ball at all times, while still being open to everyone moaning about me to the boss if I'm not.

Nonetheless, I know what you mean. It does help calm me a bit.
>> No. 9437 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 6:56 am
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>>9432
>Does everyone still get nervous as fuck looking for new jobs?

I haven't had this since I got a proper career job, which is odd because I'm usually a rather anxious person. I believe it's because the worst case scenario is that if they don't hire me I've still got my existing job so there's nothing to lose.
>> No. 9438 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 12:58 pm
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I've already phoned in sick, but I'll probably drag myself into work later today because I simply can't live with the guilt of leaving members of my team in the shit. We're already chronically understaffed (4 people down, we never get proper cover, I'm already booked in to do overtime on Friday to cover absence) and the stress is making us all miserable - I barely slept last night, which isn't helping the cold I've got.

I don't really want to be an adult.
>> No. 9439 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 1:13 pm
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>>9438
You don't owe your employer anything, and as far as your team is concerned you should think about whether they would do the same for you.
>> No. 9440 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 1:40 pm
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>>9439
Some do. Others don't.

Unsurprisingly, the people I get on best with are those who push themselves whilst simultaneously telling others in my situation to rest. I have done it to them before. They are doing it to me now.

The ones who don't are the ones who tend to be resented for leaving us all understaffed at short notice.

I personally feel that if I'm capable of walking staying home won't aid my recovery, as I feel too guilty to effectively rest.

Hypocrisy is an innate aspect of the human condition isn't it?
>> No. 9441 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 2:55 pm
9441 spacer
Are you infectious?
>> No. 9442 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 7:33 pm
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>>9440
That's some pretty serious Stockholm Syndrome you've got going on there mate. Been with them a while, have you?

You're no good to anyone ill, and you might be actively unhelpful. Rest up and go in when you feel well.
>> No. 9443 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 7:57 pm
9443 spacer
Not that guy, but we're down to three lab assistants at my work at the moment, out of what's supposed to be twelve. So to get anything sensible done, each person has to essentially run two benches at once and still find time to share the less busy ones. We've got a couple on long term sick leave and a couple more on holiday time, but three people?

It's times like these I can sympathise with the "Urghh I'm ill but I'll feel guilty if I stay off..." sentiment, but then, it seems to me that the REAL logic behind that statement is "Urghh I'm not really THAT poorly, but I'd rather be at home watching telly..." If you were really ill enough to warrant it, you'd be off anyway and your colleagues wouldn't mind, because naturally they'd rather you don't drop dead in the middle of the office.
>> No. 9444 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 10:25 pm
9444 spacer
>>9443
It's almost like you think I care about what happens to my colleagues and the company I work for. I realised early on that I am number one, and if it means that one person has to run a shitty lab without me because it is time for my holiday or I am a bit ill, then by God they will run the lab by themselves.
>> No. 9445 Anonymous
2nd March 2016
Wednesday 10:28 pm
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>>9440
If you work for anyone other than yourself when you're sick, you're a fucking mug. And you're a mug even then, unless your entire career hangs in the balance.
>> No. 9446 Anonymous
3rd March 2016
Thursday 12:45 pm
9446 spacer
Pragmatically, you're not helping by working sick. If you're off sick, then no matter how essential you (think you) are, your team is a man down, and nobody can argue if their output is restricted.

If you do show up, unless you're working at 100% of your ability (and if you are, you're not fucking sick anyway) then you're just holding progress back, without the handy excuse of being short-handed.
>> No. 9448 Anonymous
4th March 2016
Friday 11:28 am
9448 spacer
I'm at work and I really want a wank behind the counter whilst all the people walk past, but I know it will result in egg all over my face so I'm restricted to playing with myself through my pants which isn't helping my current state of horniness.
>> No. 9449 Anonymous
4th March 2016
Friday 11:48 am
9449 spacer
>>9448
>egg all over my face

You might want to consult a doctor about that m8.
>> No. 9450 Anonymous
4th March 2016
Friday 12:54 pm
9450 spacer
>>9449

You can't say you've pleasured a woman unless you've given her a spunk bullet.
>> No. 9451 Anonymous
4th March 2016
Friday 4:32 pm
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>>9448

Dreadful. That Cyber-Jesus for self serve.

>>9450

Not if you fire it over your own face you can't while sat behind your work space you can't, no.
>> No. 9452 Anonymous
4th March 2016
Friday 5:19 pm
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>>9448
I used to wank all the time during my first two office jobs. Sneak to the bogs, bash one out.
>> No. 9453 Anonymous
4th March 2016
Friday 7:00 pm
9453 spacer
>>9452

Why did you stop on the third?
>> No. 9454 Anonymous
4th March 2016
Friday 7:27 pm
9454 spacer
>>9453
Toilets weren't up to scratch.
>> No. 9455 Anonymous
4th March 2016
Friday 8:56 pm
9455 spacer
>>9454
You should have dropped them a hint by pissing all over the floor.
>> No. 9456 Anonymous
8th March 2016
Tuesday 5:35 pm
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I disclosed my salary today during a conversation. I don't see the big deal about keeping it confidential or shrouded in secrecy, but some of the people at work looked at me as if I'd told them I liked to smear poo around my lips and pretend it's brown lipstick.
>> No. 9457 Anonymous
8th March 2016
Tuesday 7:06 pm
9457 spacer
>>9456
Do you?
>> No. 9458 Anonymous
8th March 2016
Tuesday 7:26 pm
9458 spacer
>>9456
Watch out you don't disclose it on here or you'll get loads of bumsore teenlads complaining that you asserted your salary was the median of the entire population.
>> No. 9459 Anonymous
8th March 2016
Tuesday 7:38 pm
9459 spacer
>>9456

Either they found out you're paid more than they thought, in which case they hate you, or less than they thought, in which case they think you're useless. You can't really win.

It's presented as 'polite' not to talk about it, but really it just serves to protect the delicate UK class system.

A coworker of mine just about caused a riot when his team found out about his bonuses.
>> No. 9460 Anonymous
8th March 2016
Tuesday 7:50 pm
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>>9457
Who doesn't?
>> No. 9461 Anonymous
9th March 2016
Wednesday 12:26 am
9461 spacer
>>9456 >>9459

They were talking about precisely this cultural quirk on Radio 4 the other day, and contrasting the classic British horror at discussing one's income with the system in Nordic countries where you can just pop down your town hall and see what everyone from your boss to the local MP paid in tax (and therefore what their income was) in the last year. They have an entirely different mindset and don't consider it gauche at all to have this information publicly accessible. Were it not for the complete absence of daylight for most of the year and the fermented fucking herring, I think I'd move to Scandinavia in a heartbeat.
>> No. 9462 Anonymous
9th March 2016
Wednesday 1:00 am
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Tvost_og_spik-e1337611913220[1].jpg
946294629462
>>9461
>the fermented fucking herring
Really not as bad as you'd think as long as you don't do something stupid like opening it in your kitchen. Get someone who knows what they're doing to prepare you a little bit and you might be surprised.

The Icelandic tradition with the highly toxic shark that they dump in a hole in the ground and put rocks on it to squeeze the poison out for twelve weeks... less convinced about that one.

The Faroe islanders have a pretty interesting fermented lamb thing going on, basically their air is so salty (and mostly cold) that they just hang lamb/mutton shanks up in little wood houses (sometimes just out in the open), no smoking or anything like that, and it just sits there fermenting for 8 months or so. Then you hope that flies didn't infest it, and if they didn't, you get something that's like prosciutto - but with a nutty, cheesy flavour, and rather strong-smelling. Eaten raw, naturally. They also have a good line in "whale blubber, aged whale meat, and potatoes", Tvøst og spik. Just look at that raw fat and purple meat on the attached and tell me you don't start salivating.
>> No. 9463 Anonymous
9th March 2016
Wednesday 1:02 am
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Skerpikjoet_ErikChristensen[1].jpg
946394639463
>>9462
The lamb one is called Skerpikjøt and looks like this.

Reminds me of that video about krokodil junkies.
>> No. 9471 Anonymous
13th March 2016
Sunday 2:15 pm
9471 spacer
They won't stop sending emails out telling us to join LinkedIn and then constantly like and share any 'news and views' pieces the company decides to publish, because apparently this will mean tens of thousands of people will read it and bring in shitloads of new business.
>> No. 9472 Anonymous
13th March 2016
Sunday 2:25 pm
9472 spacer
>>9471
Everything about LinkedIn screams alarm bells to me. Is it really so bad to blend work and social media as I imagine?
>> No. 9473 Anonymous
13th March 2016
Sunday 4:02 pm
9473 spacer
>>9472
There seems very little point in it. It's probably alright for the likes of solicitors and accountants where it's handy to have connections in other professions so you can refer work to one another, but I imagine the place is plagued with recruitment consultants. I see little benefit from marketing via social media - there's also a company Twitter feed which usually gets one or two likes or retweets, but these are almost always from people working here.
>> No. 9474 Anonymous
13th March 2016
Sunday 4:27 pm
9474 spacer
>>9472

Inexplicably, a lot of management types put a lot of stock in your LinkedIn profile. I think it's a kind of arse-covering, as in "This guy can't be a total twat because he's got lots of connections on LinkedIn. I won't look like a total arse if I hire him and he turns out to be useless".
>> No. 9475 Anonymous
13th March 2016
Sunday 9:26 pm
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For insight away from the negativity, I use Linkedin very casually and I have a standard grad job.

I've been offered jobs through it and it's a great way for me to read what people who have my dream job have done before they got there, so I can angle myself correctly.

It does make me cringe to no end when people add causes they care about though and everybody puts poverty alleviation, international development and similar causes, not realising that this feature is aimed at really high up professionals who may be contacted by charities of collaborative parties who deal in these areas, not recent graduates interning who wield no power in the world.
>> No. 9476 Anonymous
14th March 2016
Monday 3:52 am
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I got told off for recruiting someone via word of mouth, rather than creating a job post and circulating it (which costs us money). Apparently it makes us look less professional, to just pick up the phone and ask a reliable colleague if he's interested in interviewing.

I don't think I'm going to last long here.
>> No. 9479 Anonymous
14th March 2016
Monday 5:02 am
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>>9476
It's illegal in some countries. I know of a bloke in Romania who wanted to hire his wife to his firm and created a job description with some ridiculous requirements that only she fulfilled (so terrified of the authorities were they she learnt Swahili and this was made part of the conditions). They were amazed to get five applications. You can guess who they selected though.
>> No. 9480 Anonymous
14th March 2016
Monday 6:52 am
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>>9476
Around a quarter of the people in my department are there through word of mouth, as they'd rather pay existing employees a referral fee (£1,000) than go through the whole rigmarole of advertising the role, interviewing all the candidates, all the hassle from recruitment consultants and all the fees that brings.

It seems to be local authorities who specialise in advertising and interviewing for a role when they're going to promote someone internally all along.
>> No. 9481 Anonymous
14th March 2016
Monday 12:35 pm
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>>9480
>It seems to be local authorities who specialise in advertising and interviewing for a role when they're going to promote someone internally all along.
They don't have a choice - it's a legal requirement.
>> No. 9482 Anonymous
14th March 2016
Monday 2:13 pm
9482 spacer
>>9481
Their HR people are supposed to challenge dodgy job descriptions. More importantly, they're supposed to monitor the application scoring to ensure that in the case where an outside candidate beats the presumptive anointee, they are offered the job first. The last place I worked, a team lined someone up for a promotion, but very nearly had to hire the upstart who had applied from another department. They had to count back the scores from the application form to find an excuse to reject him.
>> No. 9594 Anonymous
29th March 2016
Tuesday 5:27 pm
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Everyone had the back to work blues today. To top it off, I sharted.
>> No. 9602 Anonymous
29th March 2016
Tuesday 8:08 pm
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>>9594

I thought I'd sharted on the train the other week.

It was a very tense ride, and to make matters worse I had to get a but when I got off. I started to get paranoid that people could smell the odour of my shit encrusted pants, while I was of course immune to it, and that that's why people were keeping their distance.

When I got home it turned out to be a false alarm, though- Just one of those extremely hot, wet farts.
>> No. 9603 Anonymous
29th March 2016
Tuesday 8:54 pm
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>>9594
I've actually been the opposite, I have b extremely cheerful today. I think its just due to having a really relaxing long weekend and even waking up my wife at 5am whilst she's on holiday didn't start the day with me getting hit. Instead I got a bit of morning nookie, which put the spring in my step.
>> No. 9616 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 2:05 pm
9616 spacer
Some of the women I work with have just discovered you can attach clip art to emails.

Imagine opening up your inbox and being greeted by a 3MB smiley face that takes up almost the entire screen. Imagine that happening several times a week.
>> No. 9617 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 2:38 pm
9617 spacer
>>9616
Just wait until they discover the company-wide mailing list and Reply All. There is no horror quite like it.
>> No. 9618 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 2:44 pm
9618 spacer
>>9617
Had one of those yesterday. Someone in another office didn't know how to do compounding in Excel so, instead of deciding to ask the people in the same room as her, she sent it out to GRP: All Staff, which inevitably meant the half a dozen or so replies from various people around the country were also sent to everybody.
>> No. 9619 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 5:02 pm
9619 spacer
>>9618
Did it stay under the radar? Once a certain sort takes notice you get hilarious images being sent around, also in Reply All form.
>> No. 9620 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 7:56 pm
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I was talking to someone working in a different department a little while back and apparently their manager would follow up every discussion with an email starting "Since we discussed x, y, z etc.". So one member of the team thought it would be hilarious to set up an auto-reply to emails that contained that string with "I don't remember discussing this." In response, the manager also set up an auto-reply to that string saying something along the lines of "We definitely did."

Unfortunately, this backfired as the replies still contained the text from the previous emails, hence both filters kept detecting the same strings and auto-replying a longer email chain until the whole company's email went down.
>> No. 9621 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 10:34 pm
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>>9620
Oh dear. Did anyone end up in the shit?
>> No. 9622 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 11:02 pm
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>>9621
This. Enquiring minds need to know. I'm betting the manager got plaudits for his sense of humour and great handling while the underling got the blame for having started the loop in the first place.
>> No. 9623 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 11:06 pm
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>>9620
Ahaha that's great.
>> No. 9626 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 11:45 pm
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>>9621
Well, both people were still working for the company when I heard the story a month or two later, so I assume nothing more strenuous than a wrist-slapping took place.

More 'hilarity' ensued when a couple of the interns figured out how to spoof email headers to send email apparently from anyone within the company. Cue many dubious emails sent out apparently from the CEO, followed up by an apology from someone completely unrelated.
>> No. 9627 Anonymous
31st March 2016
Thursday 11:57 pm
9627 spacer
>>9626
>More 'hilarity' ensued when a couple of the interns figured out how to spoof email headers to send email apparently from anyone within the company. Cue many dubious emails sent out apparently from the CEO, followed up by an apology from someone completely unrelated.

Let me guess, sendmail?
>> No. 9638 Anonymous
2nd April 2016
Saturday 2:21 pm
9638 spacer
>>9617

One of the HR wombles sent out an All Hands email asking if anyone had seen her fountain pen, replete with a 2mb attachment of a pen from google images. It turned in to a fairly entertaining chain of people sending pictures of their teams holding increasingly ridiculous objects up, with the comment "hi Lynne, we've had a look here in Harrogate for the pen you lost in Stratford. Is this it?" Then a picture of everyone in Harrogate pointing at a bloke struggling to hold a large laser printer.

Expect to see it on a clickbait link on facebook in the near future.
>> No. 9674 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 8:33 am
9674 spacer
The guy who brushes his teeth and shaves every morning in the work toilet. Why ?

I write this sat on the toilet too awkward to leave and strangely feeling bad because he's trying to groom.himself in the smell of my shit
>> No. 9675 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 10:10 am
9675 spacer
>>9674
Maybe he gets the train at some ungodly hour.
>> No. 9676 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 11:00 am
9676 spacer
>>9674

Yes, >>9675 has it. Speaking as someone who used to do this, the work toilets are still better than attempting to shave and brush your teeth on the train.
>> No. 9677 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 1:48 pm
9677 spacer
>>9676
What about attempting those things in the bathroom at home? Or were you basically using it as an excuse to fiddle a timesheet? Also, fuck timesheets. You're paying me to produce work, not spend time at my desk.
>> No. 9678 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 2:06 pm
9678 spacer
>>9677
>What about attempting those things in the bathroom at home?
I don't think you understand.
>> No. 9679 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 3:05 pm
9679 spacer
>>9678
Go on.
>> No. 9680 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 3:50 pm
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>>9679
People with really long commutes don't have time to do their morning ablutions at home. Best to leave early and do them at work if they want to make sure they'll not be late.
>> No. 9681 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 4:08 pm
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>>9680
I still don't get it. They don't have time to do them at home, but do have time to do them at work? How does that work? Do the clocks go back half an hour when you get into the office or something?
>> No. 9682 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 4:19 pm
9682 spacer
>>9676
Oh my god, I can't even imagine doing the morning ablutions in a train toilet without feeling ill. It's bad enough going for a slash in there as it is.
>> No. 9683 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 4:34 pm
9683 spacer
>>9681
Traffic and trains are unreliable. If they spend ten minutes longer at home then they're more likely to be delayed getting in. Or maybe they're required to clock in and but can get enough of their work done during the day that ten minutes spend brushing their teeth doesn't matter.
>> No. 9684 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 4:50 pm
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>>9683
>If they spend ten minutes longer at home then they're more likely to be delayed getting in.
Not at all. That's to do with when you leave home, not how long you were there. If you need an extra ten minutes to do your stuff, get up ten minutes earlier.
>> No. 9685 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 5:13 pm
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>>9684
Maybe they don't want to get up ten minutes earlier.
>> No. 9686 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 5:36 pm
9686 spacer
>>9685
Maybe someone somewhere cares what they want.
>> No. 9687 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:00 pm
9687 spacer
Well I waited 15 minutes for him to be done and was late for my first meeting of the day because of it.

About 8 minutes in I considered just walking out casually, but couldn't reconcile the awkwardness of doing so when I'd been sat in silence.
>> No. 9688 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:01 pm
9688 spacer
>>9684

You're right in principle, but around about the time I was doing this personally I was working two jobs and the first had an early morning start plus the long commute.

It's silly, I know, but it is very easy to get stuck on the backfoot. When you've not got much time to spare in the evening, all it takes is a single day when you take an extra hour to fall asleep, or coming home takes a bit longer, or an unexpected event throws off your schedule, anything causing you spend a bit more time at home is potentially habit-forming. You scrimp for whatever time you can get.

Some people handle it better than others, and it could be corrected with enough effort, but be sympathetic to the bloke shaving in work. If he has blue bags around his eyes, it could well be a workaround for a genuinely shitty busy life.
>> No. 9689 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:14 pm
9689 spacer
I don't understand why we're kicking up such a fuss about the guy shaving at work anyway.

I often skip breakfast at home but call in the canteen for a sausage butty before my shift starts. I doubt any of you have a problem with that, but what's the difference?

We've mentioned before that if you can't treat your workplace like a second home, then you probably have a shit job and should either quit or commit sudoku. I think awkward cubicle lad has issues of his own to confront.
>> No. 9690 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:18 pm
9690 spacer
>>9689
It'd raise some eyebrows at my office if he did it in the main gents on our floor, but only because there's a small changing room downstairs for the Lycra Nazis he could use instead. I think brushing teeth is a cracking idea shows you actually give a shit about your colleagues.
>> No. 9691 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:26 pm
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>>9689

Calm down. There is a difference quite clearly between grooming yourself where other people shit and using the canteen, unless people at your work shit there too.
>> No. 9692 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:35 pm
9692 spacer
9:00 CUP-A-SOUP O'CLOCK
10:00 CUP-A-SOUP O'CLOCK
11:00 CUP-A-SOUP O'CLOCK
13:00 CUP-A-SOUP O'CLOCK
14:00 CUP-A-SOUP O'CLOCK
15:00 CUP-A-SOUP O'CLOCK
16:00 CUP-A-SOUP O'CLOCK

Even now I can still smell chicken Cup-a-Soup.
>> No. 9693 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:38 pm
9693 spacer
>>9691

What on earth are you on about lad. Do you shit in the sink? Does the sound of a razor scraping give you constipation? I'm not quite understanding the issue.

We have a locker room at work with a shower, shitter, a urinal, two sinks and a full body mirror. Clearly you are welcomed and expected to both wash, groom, and shit in this room, communally, with about 50 or so of your male colleagues free to do the same.

How do you feel about such a collision of bodily functions and grooming facilities?
>> No. 9694 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:39 pm
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>>9691
Come to think of it has anyone ever seen canteen workers using the staff toilets?
>> No. 9695 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:42 pm
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>>9692

Careful now. One of the advertising slugs might pick you up on that.
>> No. 9696 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:52 pm
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>>9693

Personally I dislike the thought of brushing my teeth surrounded by my own shit particles, nevermind everybody else's.

If it's not a problem for you don't worry, just stop getting so upset lad, Jesus.
>> No. 9697 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 6:59 pm
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>>9696

I'm not getting upset, I'm just a bit puzzled to be honest.

So do you shave elsewhere than your bathroom at home?
>> No. 9698 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 7:04 pm
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>>9697

No. It's not the shaving, it's the brushing of the teeth.

What's so hard to understand that I find brushing my teeth in my own shit unpalatable, so doing it at work smelling the mess everybody else makes sounds like hell.

I'm genuinely not sure what is so puzzling about not liking to smell your coworkers shit and brush it around your mouth in particle form.

As I say, if you don't mind, that's fine. Some of us feel uncomfortable about it. This has nothing to do with shaving.
>> No. 9699 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 7:15 pm
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I'll have to give this a try. Skip my morning routine, go straight to work at the usual time, sign in and immediately go away to do the three Sh's. I wonder whether they'll insist it deduct it from my hours for the day after a while.
>> No. 9700 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 7:22 pm
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>>9698

I think you might have OCD though lad, I mean... "Brushing it around your mouth in particle form", really? Come on.

You're breathing it in too. You're filling your lungs with those shit particles and thus your, and everyone else's shit, is entering your very bloodstream and flowing directly to your brain.

I mean yeah I can understand finding the idea unpalatable, fair enough, but still, locking yourself in a cubicle for fifteen minutes, missing a meeting, and then blaming the other guy as if he's a wierdo for using a sink in a room with sinks to perform sink related activities is a tad rich.
>> No. 9701 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 7:24 pm
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>>9697
I have a sink in my room for brushing my teeth/shaving etc, and seperate rooms elsewhere for the shower and toilet. It's the optimal arrangement as far as I can tell.
>> No. 9702 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 7:30 pm
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>>9700

That's fair enough, I personally think your shit toothpaste fetish is weird.
>> No. 9703 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 7:37 pm
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>>9701
I'm not cubiclelad by the way. Brushing me teeth with other people's shit is something I like to avoid, but on the other hand I wouldn't miss a meeting because someone else has chosen to brush their teeth with my shit.
>> No. 9704 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 7:53 pm
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>>9701
The sink in my room is fucking disgusting, I barely ever clean it and piss in it and all.

I really should get on that.
>> No. 9705 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 9:20 pm
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>>9701
Aha, so you're a student living in halls.
>> No. 9706 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 9:58 pm
9706 spacer
>>9705
Indeed. I'm not who you were replying to, just a dirty student browsing /*/. Even by my low standards, brushing your teeth in a cloud of other people's shit is a bit grim.

There's someone in our lab who cleans his teeth everyday after lunch. I mean, I'm all for oral hygiene but twice a day is enough right? I'm not sure I'd want the taste of alkali mint in my mouth more frequently than that.
>> No. 9707 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 10:26 pm
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>>9701
Oh younglad, the entire point of a bedroom sink is that it doubles as a urinal. Rest assured countless others have slashed into it before you moved in.
>> No. 9708 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 11:12 pm
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>>9705
I'm not actually. Well, half right, I'm a postgraduate not living in halls. My sink is full of pubes, facial hair, piss staines and lumps of toothpaste. Maybe a couple of specks of vomit.
>> No. 9709 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 11:13 pm
9709 spacer
>>9708
>Staines
Appropriate.
>> No. 9710 Anonymous
4th April 2016
Monday 11:39 pm
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>>9706

Brushing your teeth straight after meals is actively harmful. Acids in the food soften the enamel, which is then abraded away by brushing. Your OCD colleague is slowly ruining his teeth.
>> No. 9711 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 2:36 am
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>>9708
>>9709
sink-lad goes to Royal Holloway?
>> No. 9712 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 9:32 am
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>>9707
You sicken me.
>> No. 9713 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 9:36 am
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tmp_8657-clean_toilets_bathtubs_showers_and_sinks8.jpg
971397139713
>>9708
If only there were some way of removing such things from the sink.
>> No. 9714 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 6:43 pm
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Some fat lass at work keeps telling people I'm gay and my girlfriendis just a cover despite me never suggesting in any remote way that I might be gay.

I'm not arsed what anybody thinks, but I can't fathom why somebody would tell people lies about somebody else's sexuality and suggest they're involved in an elaborate plot to cover it up.

School really never ends.
>> No. 9715 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 6:51 pm
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>>9714

Hint to people you told her that to stop her coming on to you.
>> No. 9716 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 7:20 pm
9716 spacer
>>9715

This is the correct response to gossip. Counter-gossip. They cancel each other out and if you pull it off properly the gossiping cunt is discredited by omission.

"Yeah, I told Susan a little while back I was gay to get her to fuck off and stop feeling my arse. She kept offering to suck me off in the toilets too, it was really innappropriate and telling her I was taken just wasn't working. I didn't want to embarrass her, but clearly she's still holding a candle. Bless."
>> No. 9717 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 9:14 pm
9717 spacer
>>9716

That's a dangerous game to play if you care about your job, remember that the kinds of bints who start this shite off have been during it since they were wee'uns and have finely honed their craft.

And make no mistake- The moment you sting them too hard they'll be grassing you straight in. "Well she started it!" doesn't play out very well in a harassment/bullying hearing.

Just stay out of it, let them move on to someone who bites. As an adult, you should have far more pressing concerns than what some slag says about you behind your back.
>> No. 9718 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 9:45 pm
9718 spacer
>>9717

That's why you fire the one shot then play dumb. Straight faced; "Why would I spread rumours? That's not how I play and you know it. Just look at me. I don't think that way."
>> No. 9719 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 10:32 pm
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I already hate one of the HR staff at my new university and I haven't even started there yet. She was introduced to me as "the go-to lady" in the department and the one who would be handling all of my immigration documents, but over the past six months she's not replied to a single one of my emails. She's emailed me a sum total of twice, firstly with some pre-employment certificates and an email that read "Anon, sign this" and tonight with "Anon, send me this". Admittedly, I might get over there and she might be really lovely, but fucking useless with a computer, but I don't see how you can possibly become top dog HR woman at a biggish uni without able to email politely/actually reply when someone asks you an important question.

I'm preparing myself for being *really fucking nice* to her for the next two years in the hopes that it gets under her skin. That or fucking her.
>> No. 9720 Anonymous
5th April 2016
Tuesday 10:43 pm
9720 spacer
>>9719
>I don't see how you can possibly become top dog HR woman at a biggish uni without able to email politely/actually reply when someone asks you an important question

How familiar are you with HR?
>> No. 9721 Anonymous
6th April 2016
Wednesday 3:04 pm
9721 spacer
Some pricks in our office insist on leaving their phones on their desks with loud and obnoxious ringing tones. Is it so hard to take the fucking thing with you? if you're in a meeting, just put it on silent.
>> No. 9722 Anonymous
6th April 2016
Wednesday 3:25 pm
9722 spacer
>>9721
You could let them come back to find it in a glass of water.
>> No. 9723 Anonymous
6th April 2016
Wednesday 5:23 pm
9723 spacer
>>9471 here again.

Marketing have sent out a 20 page 'how to' guide about using social media. In essence:

• Don't wear sunglasses or dark clothing on a profile picture.
• Don't slag the company off online.
• Don't use social media when you should be working.
• If someone slags us off online or leaves negative comments in an article we're mentioned in then we should go crying to one of the Directors to sort them out.
• Twitterbollocks.
• Social media presence something something.
>> No. 9724 Anonymous
6th April 2016
Wednesday 5:59 pm
9724 spacer
The fucking new age feminists in my office.

No woman in the office has ever joined in football bets, talk or expressed any interest in it other than to complain when it's briefly discussed.

A relatively harmless chap sent round an invite to all the men for a charity tournament to see if we could get a team together.

Every single one has complained how he's being sexist and how he's left out women.

Kindly, he's said it's open to absolutely everybody and if they're that upset he would send another email around.

Guess how many of them actually said they wanted to sign up?
>> No. 9725 Anonymous
6th April 2016
Wednesday 10:07 pm
9725 spacer
Someone's left something real oniony in the office fridge and the flavour had sponged into my water bottle overnight.

As a plus, however, the Japanese lady that works at the back of the office keeps her apple in the fridge with a little woolly jumper on it.
>> No. 9726 Anonymous
6th April 2016
Wednesday 10:11 pm
9726 spacer
>>9725
Don't leave your water bottle open.
>> No. 9727 Anonymous
6th April 2016
Wednesday 10:18 pm
9727 spacer
>>9725
Hairy Japanese bastards.
>> No. 9728 Anonymous
6th April 2016
Wednesday 10:23 pm
9728 spacer
>>9727
Who told you she makes the jumper from her pubes? You sly bastard.
>> No. 9729 Anonymous
7th April 2016
Thursday 1:08 am
9729 spacer
>>9728
Typical Japan behaviour.
>> No. 9731 Anonymous
10th April 2016
Sunday 2:42 am
9731 spacer
I get an email nightly about the revenue and wage margins of the business I work in. However, on the wage accuracy table they've written the word "varience". I've only worked here a fortnight, but every fucking night I open that email and I wince a little.

This is an email that is only seen by four or five people in the company, and I'm the new guy, I don't quite know how long I have to wait before getting them to spell it properly. Can I ever mention it without looking like a knob? I'm a bit worried myself that I can't just ignore it.
>> No. 9732 Anonymous
10th April 2016
Sunday 8:33 am
9732 spacer
>>9731
Last place I worked at had a 'stationary cupboard'.
>> No. 9733 Anonymous
10th April 2016
Sunday 8:43 am
9733 spacer
>>9732

To be fair lad, I wouldn't want my pens going walkabout either.
>> No. 9734 Anonymous
10th April 2016
Sunday 10:16 am
9734 spacer
If any of you work for the Haunt in Brighton I apologise in advance for when you find a pair of boxers that someone shat themselves in.

Hopefully the cleaners in the Haunt are all eastern European and thus banned on .gs though.
>> No. 9735 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 3:09 pm
9735 spacer
>>9732

At my last place of work, our shops had a sign advertising '10% Off Stationary Storage'.
>> No. 9736 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 3:49 pm
9736 spacer
>>9731

Your best bet is to just ignore it.

I'm a published writer on employment law.
>> No. 9737 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 6:05 pm
9737 spacer
>>9734
Are you the same bloke who shat in their boxers and left them in Cineworld Huntingdon a couple of years ago?
>> No. 9738 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 8:01 pm
9738 spacer
>>9737
Yep, that's me. I'd forgotten about that.
>> No. 9739 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 8:16 pm
9739 spacer
>>9738
So many incidents it's hard to recount them all?
>> No. 9740 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 8:22 pm
9740 spacer
>>9738
Mate. Sort yourself out. Do you need to have a colostomy bag fitted?
>> No. 9741 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 9:02 pm
9741 spacer
>>9740
Of course he doesn't. Why would he need a colostomy bag when he can just leave shit-stained boxers in darkened cinemas?
>> No. 9742 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 9:49 pm
9742 spacer
I don't remember what caused the shitting in Cineworld. Those boxers were abandoned in a toilet. I shat myself on Saturday because I was dim and had flu but went out anyway and needed to fart and then it turned out to be a small liquid poo.
>> No. 9743 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 10:34 pm
9743 spacer
>>9742
Are you gay?
>> No. 9744 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 10:36 pm
9744 spacer
>>9743
'fraid not mate.
>> No. 9745 Anonymous
11th April 2016
Monday 10:55 pm
9745 spacer
>>9744
Okay...
>> No. 9746 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 8:04 pm
9746 spacer
People in the office taking ibuprofen nearly everyday...why?
>> No. 9747 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 8:05 pm
9747 spacer
>>9746
Carpal tunnel. Early arthritis. Dealing with the autists that work with them. Take your pick.
>> No. 9748 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 8:09 pm
9748 spacer
>>9747

Surely taking them constantly nullifies their effectiveness/ makes it bad for your body in some way though, no?


I am not a particularly health conscious person but between people scoffing three doughnuts a dinner, drinking coke till it comes out of their ears, popping pain relief medication like mints and being generally overweight and allergic to just having a cup of water over a Starbucks I'm surprised everybody who works in an office doesn't die at 30.
>> No. 9749 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 8:13 pm
9749 spacer
>>9748
Very much so; ibuprofen is incredibly nasty on the stomach and everyone knows how drug tolerance works. But the doctor will still prescribe you 200mg a day for early onset RSI.

Don't get carpal tunnel, lads. Cooking dinner was a right chore tonight. Look after your joints.
>> No. 9750 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 8:18 pm
9750 spacer
>>9749

Fuck me, how do you cope?

My life revolves around sitting at a desk typing briefings and somehow having to go sit still in meetings and be nice to people, how can you be arsed when your hands stop playing ball?
>> No. 9751 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 8:18 pm
9751 spacer
>>9746

"awwww ... I've got a headache"
"awwww ... I've got a migraine"
"awwww ... I worked out too hard at the gym"

It's all I hear all day every day in my office. People are too quick to self-medicate, hence missing and perpetuating the root causes.
>> No. 9752 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 8:20 pm
9752 spacer
>>9751

See it's really weird but this is why I hate taking medication unless I really can't cope.

I don't know if he was bullshitting me but a lad at uni I usde to live with would take a mouthful of ibuprofen everytime he felt vaguely ill or had a hangover and he said that it was gradually having less and less potency.

Some people don't even seem remotely ill and they just resort to going ' ah anybody got any ibuprofen I'm feeling tired?'

Fuck these people. Probably the same lot who don't take full prescriptions when they 'start to feel better.'

Maybe I'm just an autistic sponge though.
>> No. 9753 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 8:51 pm
9753 spacer
>>9751
>awwww ... I worked out too hard at the gym

One woman I work with has to mention at least once a day that she goes to the gym. It's either that or going on about Fitbit.
>> No. 9754 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 9:47 pm
9754 spacer
>>9753

One woman I work with goes to the gym every single weekday. Mainly due to the justification that "the more often you go, the cheaper the monthly fee works out per visit."
>> No. 9755 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 10:04 pm
9755 spacer
>>9754
Well, if all you're using the gym for is cardio then you might as well go as often as you can. Obviously for weights you want to give yourself more time between workouts.
>> No. 9756 Anonymous
12th April 2016
Tuesday 10:43 pm
9756 spacer
>>9752
>I don't know if he was bullshitting me but a lad at uni I usde to live with would take a mouthful of ibuprofen everytime he felt vaguely ill or had a hangover and he said that it was gradually having less and less potency.
He was bullshitting you (and perhaps himself). There are unpleasant side effects of long term NSAID usage, but tolerance isn't a concern.
>> No. 9757 Anonymous
14th April 2016
Thursday 5:44 pm
9757 spacer
After a few weeks of hints that we should go out to dinner together, I finally relented and went out with a couple of my colleagues. It was exactly how I feared. 99% of what was discussed was work related because there was little else to say. Just leave me alone with my packing up.
>> No. 9758 Anonymous
14th April 2016
Thursday 9:36 pm
9758 spacer
>>9757

When I first started my current job I got taken out for a really fancy meal on my first day.

There was nothing quite as awkward as sitting with people I'd never spoken to before whilst they all made inside jokes and small talk about the work I hadn't even begun working on yet.
>> No. 9759 Anonymous
15th April 2016
Friday 12:23 am
9759 spacer
>>9757
Good thing I zone out and day dream. The amount of times I came to and realised time had skipped 15 minutes makes me think I'm not real.
>> No. 9762 Anonymous
18th April 2016
Monday 6:02 pm
9762 spacer
What's better than hearing that your colleague's son hasn't left his bedroom once during the school holidays? Hearing it six times in one day. If there's silence she will fill it.
>> No. 9764 Anonymous
18th April 2016
Monday 8:56 pm
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>>9762

Tell her that you're sure the lad will be fine once he realises that it's easier to avoid his mother when he's outside.
>> No. 9765 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 6:46 am
9765 spacer
I had my appraisal meeting yesterday. They're worried I'm going to leave [apparently I'm extremely talented and they worried in a few years I'm going to be bored and unfulfilled] so they're going to create a new role which has been specifically designed where I'll be the only person in the team eligible to apply due to the minimum requirements including a qualification that only I hold. I'm all for getting promoted, but I'm not so keen on the subterfuge involved in setting up the role for me.
>> No. 9767 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 11:29 am
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>>9765
What's wrong with a bit of subterfuge?
>> No. 9768 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 11:37 am
9768 spacer
>>9765
Any particular reason they have to go through that instead of just giving you a rise?
>> No. 9769 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 11:58 am
9769 spacer
>>9768

It means that he is indispensable with the wages and bonuses to match and they're hoping that is enough to keep him around, but also now he'll be too specialised to move sideways elsewhere. It's wage entrapment, because he'd have to take a more junior position elsewhere on less money in order to leave the company and the human condition is such that we build our own micro-economies based on how much we earn, so taking a dip in pay can cause havoc and we'll avoid it if we can.
>> No. 9770 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 12:28 pm
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>>9769
>now he'll be too specialised to move sideways elsewhere.

Isn't that the case with quite a lot of careers (at least ones where you do things other than people management) once you get past a certain level? I've definitely heard it said of investment banking, that once you're an expert in trading one specific commodity in one specific market you're pretty much stuck in that niche.
>> No. 9771 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 12:30 pm
9771 spacer
>>9767
Don't companies hold contrived application processes to comply with procurement rules common in the public sector?
>> No. 9772 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 5:13 pm
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>>9768
They think I'm going to get bored in my current role because I'm 'too bright' so this is their way of giving me more duties.
>> No. 9773 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 6:14 pm
9773 spacer
>>9772
Right, but can they not just, you know, give you more money, a shiny title and extra duties like any self-respecting private company can, as opposed to what appears to be a lot of bureaucracy for no reason?
>> No. 9774 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 6:32 pm
9774 spacer
>>9773

Because they can't.

The bureaucracy is self-perpetuating, it has to happen to justify the large and expensive HR department, which only exists to cook up equality and fairness policies to justify the bureaucracy; otherwise you never know who's job they might discover is actually a bit pointless.

If it was a as simple as giving a guy a pay-rise and expecting him to do more work in turn, the business world as we know it would collapse. The made-up work that keeps the place floating along day to day would vanish, and suddenly everyone would be expected to pull their weight in terms of real actual productivity, after which all the remaining employees would simply quit upon realising how shit of a job they actually have.

The workplace is a very fragile ecosystem. Many an idealist will try to trim the fat, believing bureaucracy and non-jobs to be the domain of the public sector; but none shall succeed.
>> No. 9775 Anonymous
20th April 2016
Wednesday 7:10 pm
9775 spacer
>>9773
The place has got increasingly top heavy with management.

The role and duties will have to be thought up. Budget will need to be allocated to accommodate the role. This will need approval at the board level. The job will need to be advertised. Someone will have yo assess the responses of all the applicants [state in no more than the 500 words why you feel you are suitable for this role]. STAR technique questions will need to be devised for the interview. The unsuccessful applicants will need debriefing. Management information and key performance indicators will need to be devised. A new contract will have to be written. A new appraisal form will need to be created specifically for the role. Line managers and points of contact will need to be agreed upon. Training needs will have to be identified.

You can't simply offer someone a job, everyone else would be out of a job.
>> No. 9779 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 8:09 pm
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sainsburys-white-chocolate-and-orange-cookies.jpg
977997799779
The office trainee was tasked today with picking up three bags of cookies from Sainsburys - one chocolate chip, one triple chocolate and either raspberry or orange with white chocolate chips, all Taste the Difference. He came bag with three bog standard bags - white chocolate chip, chocolate chip and oatmeal & raisin.

Fucking oatmeal & raisin. I was looking forward to a raspberry/orange cookie. My piss was well and truly boiled.
>> No. 9780 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 8:19 pm
9780 spacer
>>9779
Good on him, I'm betting that buying cookies for your grumpy arse was never part of the job description.
>> No. 9781 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 8:22 pm
9781 spacer
>>9779
Yeah, get fucked cunt.

At no point did he apply for the job because he wanted to make sure he got your cookie order right you immature juvenile prick.

If you send somebody to the shops and don't like what you get, go get it yourself.

(He almost definitely did it on purpose)
>> No. 9782 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 8:32 pm
9782 spacer
>>9780
He was asked to get them on his lunch break as he was heading to Sainsburys anyway. It was hardly an unreasonable request.

>>9781
>(He almost definitely did it on purpose)

He's a bit slow. At first I couldn't work if he was slow or if it's just his Wakefield accent, but as time goes by it looks like it's the former.

Have you ever had their white chocolate and raspberry cookies? If you had then you'd understand my frustration.
>> No. 9784 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 8:51 pm
9784 spacer
>>9783
>Just because he picked up some cookies that were slightly out of tune to your ideal selection doesn't mean he's slow, it just probably means he took you for a responsible adult who wouldn't get upset about some fucking cookie ingredients.

If someone gave me their money and specifically stated that they wanted me to get something from the shop I'd make sure I bought exactly what they wanted, not a cheaper and inferior alternative.

I can tell you haven't tried these cookies, they're rather nice.
>> No. 9785 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 8:55 pm
9785 spacer
>>9784

Sorry lad, I lost it a bit in that ramble so I've deleted it.

Point still stands. Don't complain or be a passive aggressive bitch. If you've got a problem, tell him they weren't the cookies you wanted.
>> No. 9786 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 8:57 pm
9786 spacer
>>9779

One of the saddest days of my life was when Sainsburys stopped selling chocolate+chilli cookies.
>> No. 9787 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:02 pm
9787 spacer
>>9785
Sure thing, lad. I'll lose my shit with someone I'm supervising right in the middle of the office because he bought oatmeal and raisin cookies while simultaneously wanking over the fact I'm being just like Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada.
>> No. 9788 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:07 pm
9788 spacer
>>9787
You sound like the workplace annoyance, to be honest.
>> No. 9789 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:13 pm
9789 spacer
>>9788
Seriously, lad. Have you tried their raspberry and white chocolate cookies? Imagine looking forward to one of them and being greeted with a bag of oatmeal and raisin cookies instead.

Nobody in their right mind likes oatmeal and raisin cookies.
>> No. 9790 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:14 pm
9790 spacer
>>9787

You sound like one annoying cunt, mate.

Whilst you post here about how annoying getting the wrong cookies is all your colleagues are at home talking about how annoying you are.
>> No. 9792 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:23 pm
9792 spacer
>>9790
Aw, diddums. Have I brought back some nasty memories of when you were the office newbie and they made you do horrid things like being the tea boy? You're having a teary over me being mildly irritated about someone buying the wrong cookies, pounding your ape-like fists into the keyboard while flecks of spittle fly from your foaming lips.
>> No. 9793 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:24 pm
9793 spacer
>>9790

N1 M8. If he didn't already, I'm sure he'll now be crying himself to sleep over this.
>> No. 9794 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:29 pm
9794 spacer
>>9792

>ape-like fists

Oh, it's that guy again.
>> No. 9795 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:33 pm
9795 spacer
>>9794

Pillory elsewhere. Contrary to popular belief, there are more than 3 of us you berk.
>> No. 9796 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:33 pm
9796 spacer
>>9792

Yes lad, everybody here is the sad cunt, not you.

Who are you trying to kid? I won't be losing any sleep tonight because somebody got me a raising cookie.
>> No. 9797 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:36 pm
9797 spacer
This is a work-place annoyances thread, I'm not sure why you all get so het up about him complaining about something that happened at work. Yes, it's trivial. So what?
>> No. 9798 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:36 pm
9798 spacer
>>9797

Because we all find people like him to be the workplace annoyance, that's the point.
>> No. 9799 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:37 pm
9799 spacer
>>9795

Right you are, chap, but you're the one who keeps overusing that tiresome phrase. I can tell it is you, because otherwise you wouldn't have bothered replying to such an obvious bait.

Think of some more creative insults, and in future, buy your own bloody cookies. I bet the trainee lad had a cheeky lick on them too.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 9800 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:39 pm
9800 spacer
>>9799

Don't wind him up too much lad.

He's gonna have a heart attack if he realises somebody else in the office give the new lad a cheeky text and told him to buy the wrong cookies so he gets upset.
>> No. 9801 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 9:40 pm
9801 spacer
>>9797
As evidenced by the pizza discussion in the GoT thread, some people get irrationally angry whenever food is brought up.

THAT'S THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES.
>> No. 9802 Anonymous ## Mod ##
27th April 2016
Wednesday 10:09 pm
9802 spacer
>>9799

Imagine a page that shows all the posts and their corresponding IPs and a rule which is only ever enforced on sanctimonious arseholes and you have the reason for this ban.

Stop trying to identify each other and behave yourselves.
>> No. 9803 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 10:28 pm
9803 spacer
>>9802
Are you a mod? I think I can tell from how you bash your keyboard with ape-like fists.
>> No. 9804 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 10:33 pm
9804 spacer
>>9803

>Are you a mod?

How are you using the internet if you're blind?
>> No. 9805 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 10:35 pm
9805 spacer
>>9804
Wait, do you think blind people are unable to use computers?
>> No. 9806 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 10:38 pm
9806 spacer
>>9805

Internet =/= computers.

What you just said is a smidge retarded.
>> No. 9808 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 10:57 pm
9808 spacer
>>9806
When I consciously chose the more general word I thought to myself "he's not that much of a stupid and annoying cunt to quibble over this, is he?" Alas, this is gs and I'm probably being cunningly rused.

Wait, do you think blind people are unable to use the internet?
>> No. 9809 Anonymous
28th April 2016
Thursday 12:06 am
9809 spacer
>>9801
>THAT'S THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES.

My God. I spend my life reading tedious cunt-offs on here, and why? For this moment of bliss.
>> No. 9810 Anonymous
28th April 2016
Thursday 12:48 am
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>>9782
>Wakefield accent

Ignorant southerner here, in which ways is a Wakefield accent distinct from a general northern accent?
>> No. 9811 Anonymous
28th April 2016
Thursday 8:02 am
9811 spacer
>>9810
People from around Wakey and Cas sound nice but dim.

If you know what a Leeds accent is like, maybe not as harsh as Mel B, then soften it and slow it down. Slow it down a lot, not as far as some parts of Lancashire but still sounding like you're plodding along.

Imagine Mark Benton, or the woman playing his wife, in slow motion. They don't talk as fast as that.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9PNoYSKx0A
>> No. 9813 Anonymous
28th April 2016
Thursday 10:24 am
9813 spacer
>>9811

Main difference between a Leeds and a proper Wakey accent is the vowels being more round. Mayte instead of maahhte, no-w instead of no-rr (I just realised this probably doesn't translate to text very well.

It's like how in Surf Yorkshire it's all neet and reyt, in Hull it's narn til farve, etc.
>> No. 9821 Anonymous
29th April 2016
Friday 5:51 pm
9821 spacer
I've had an absolutely catastrophic week where everything I've touched has gone to shit.

There's been a few eyes rolled and heads shaken to my face so god knows what's going on behind the emails.

I think I am this week's workplace annoyance. I couldn't organise an event without the computer sporadically changing my invite times or send an email without the formatting somehow leaving my pc in a suitable fashion but arriving at important client's disjointed and broken.

Fuck sake. Not sure I can bear going in on Tuesday.
>> No. 9822 Anonymous
29th April 2016
Friday 6:39 pm
9822 spacer
>>9821

Mate, you work in an office. If it's anything like any office I've ever worked in, the meeting you ballsed up didn't matter, your colleagues are probably twats far too invested in a job even they will admit they don't like, and the insignificant upset you've caused will be replaced almost immediately by another perceived, insignificant annoyance within a few days.

I apologise if that seems harsh. It's just that since I've started working in a place where there's more tangible dangers to mistakes, what I've found is that people are really highly supportive and focused on the outcome. I really wish I could go back and tell that to myself as a nervous 21 year old, interning at a Mickey Mouse office. What's that quote about the most bitter arguments coming about precisely because the stakes are small?

Disregard what I've written above if you administrate something that affects peoples lives. But it really probably doesn't.
>> No. 9823 Anonymous
29th April 2016
Friday 6:44 pm
9823 spacer
>>9822
>administrate
Fuck's sake, lad.
>> No. 9824 Anonymous
29th April 2016
Friday 6:48 pm
9824 spacer
>>9823

As far as I'm aware that's the correct use.
>> No. 9826 Anonymous
29th April 2016
Friday 7:05 pm
9826 spacer
>>9824
http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/administrate.html
>> No. 9827 Anonymous
29th April 2016
Friday 7:06 pm
9827 spacer
>>9821
>I think I am this week's workplace annoyance.
>Not sure I can bear going in on Tuesday.

Bring some cookies. That'll cheer everyone right up.

>>9824
Administrate and administer are both fine, although the former is far less common.
>> No. 9828 Anonymous
29th April 2016
Friday 7:19 pm
9828 spacer
>>9826
>>9827

I actually veered away from 'administer' because I associate it directly with handling medicine.

http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/2539?redirectedFrom=administrate
http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/14556/is-administrate-a-valid-english-verb-whats-the-difference-between-it-and-ad
>> No. 9829 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 10:00 pm
9829 spacer
PLEASE FUND MY CYCLING TRIP TO BRAZIL. IT'S FOR CHARITY. HONEST, GUV, IT'S NOT A HOLIDAY. PLEASE IGNORE THE FACT I CYCLE ABOUT 200 MILES A WEEK. DEFINITELY NOT A JOLLY I WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO PAY FOR.
>> No. 9830 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 10:03 pm
9830 spacer
>>9829
As far as I know the money given by sponsors always goes to the charity in question (usually via a third party like justgiving), you aren't paying for the person's transport and board. Lighten up lad.
>> No. 9832 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:02 pm
9832 spacer
>>9830
Even so, I'm not sure I'm totally comfortable with people using a holiday as an excuse for guilting people into giving to charity. If they really wanted to help they could ask people to sponsor them to volunteer and help disadvantaged people directly, rather than a cycling trip which benefits nobody but themselves in and of itself.

Besides, plenty of people give money to charity each month or year out of their earnings. I have a lot more respect for people who do so quietly with no expectation of reward or praise, than people who need to make it know very publicly that they are Doing Good.
>> No. 9833 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:04 pm
9833 spacer
>>9831
>If they really wanted to help

Pretty sure raising money for said charity is helping. You're being ridiculous.
>> No. 9834 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:11 pm
9834 spacer
>>9833
Surely the people who actually give the money are the ones helping?
>> No. 9835 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:13 pm
9835 spacer
>>9830
>you aren't paying for the person's transport and board.

Yes. Yes, I am.

http://www.discoveradventure.com/challenges/cycle-the-coast-to-rio

He could have paid £2,500 for the trip himself and then chosen to raise for funds charity on top, but he's chosen to 'fund raise' just under c. £5,000 so he's getting other people to pay that £2,500 for him. Either way that money is going to the organisers and not the charity.
>> No. 9836 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:13 pm
9836 spacer
>>9834
Perhaps all parties are contributing, coordinated by the 'fund raiser', you tedious fucking mong.
>> No. 9837 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:16 pm
9837 spacer
>>9835
Well that looks like an utterly daft set up. Everyone I know who's raised funds just has a justgiving page and you give your money, completely bypassing the fundraiser, this looks like a bizarrely convoluted exercise.
>> No. 9838 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:24 pm
9838 spacer
>>9837
How many do you know who've done cycling trips/treks in distant foreign countries?
>> No. 9839 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:30 pm
9839 spacer
>>9836
Why do we need the 'fund raiser' to act as a glorified middle-man? Are we not able to treat people as adults who are capable of giving what they can to charities they care about?
>> No. 9840 Anonymous
30th April 2016
Saturday 11:43 pm
9840 spacer
>>9838
Two have done Kilimanjaro.
>> No. 9841 Anonymous
1st May 2016
Sunday 12:01 am
9841 spacer
>>9840
Who paid for the flights, accommodation, food, etc? He has a Virgin Giving page and a Just Giving page and it looks like half of the money is routed from there to the organisers:

>Some of your funds raised go to cover your tour costs. (If you’re paying your own costs, tell people!)
>The charity keeps at least 50%. We price our trips consistently to ensure this.
>Your charity only pays your tour cost once you have raised the minimum amount: there is NO risk to your charity

http://www.discoveradventure.com/before-you-go/fundraising-advice-information
>> No. 9846 Anonymous
2nd May 2016
Monday 3:14 am
9846 spacer
>>9840

Kilimanjaro isn't difficult. The hardest bit is pushing your bike to the top but the downhill id brilliant.
>> No. 9847 Anonymous
2nd May 2016
Monday 6:58 am
9847 spacer
>>9830

Yeah, a lot of these charity packages are set up so you're paying for the trip out of part of your donation amount.

A coworker recently raised £1000 to skydive for charity. £400 of that paid for the skydive.
>> No. 9848 Anonymous
2nd May 2016
Monday 7:02 am
9848 spacer
>>9839

I never understood the weird thing people commit to that are supposed to give us incentive to donate, or 'raise awareness'.

Obviously I had no desire to cure cancer until Marge and Joan went on a run wearing pink, and I didn't give a shit about Alzheimers until Dave grew that beard for a month. I certainty wasn't going to feed any Africans until I found out if I did, half the accounting team was going to climb Everest.
>> No. 9850 Anonymous
2nd May 2016
Monday 8:17 am
9850 spacer

2331b44db04b6c09ad43173d1007ae94.png
985098509850
>>9848

You're right to be wary. There's quite a bit of scholarship out there about the phenomenon of volunteer tourism. This might be more pertinent to the 'gap year' types than when accounts decides to go and climb Everest, but the money making principles are the same:

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14616688.2012.675579#/doi/abs/10.1080/14616688.2012.675579

Charities need to be selected with caution, too. Many of those that used to serve a worthwhile function end up becoming self-preserving organisations, with employees that are invested in their jobs, and so on.

I volunteered for a while for a national charity. I once had the chance to sit in on a group of trustees, managers and paid staff discussing how the organisation is run. Not once did improving (or even modifying) the services for the users of the charity ever arise; indeed, users were not mentioned at all. It was entirely about fundraising, grant capture, media appearances, preserving or winning contracts with the government, etc. The focus of the organisation was, overwhelmingly, it's own survival and growth. The experience was pretty mortifying.

Things may well be different over at Cancer Research UK or others, but I suspect many charities are afflicted with the same problems, where the gruntworkers of all kinds that actually do the hard bit the charity is intended for are vastly outnumbered and stifled by the needs of marketing.
>> No. 9851 Anonymous
2nd May 2016
Monday 8:24 am
9851 spacer
>>9848
>I certainty wasn't going to feed any Africans

I thought we weren't meant to feed the animals and instead should teach them how to grow food for themselves?
>> No. 9853 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 12:04 pm
9853 spacer
There's building work going on at a nearby office. People keep making fart jokes every time there's drilling. Repeatedly.
>> No. 9854 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 2:51 pm
9854 spacer
>>9850

I've worked in corporate fundraising for one of the biggest charities in the UK and have the misfortune to watch the activities of volunteers and various NGOs in Asia. The key failures of both types of organisation is a mentality of "it's a charity/they are not getting paid" which leads to an acceptance of incompetence, laziness and outright corruption.

My time in corporate fundraising is a very long time ago and was during the golden years of early New Labour with money being spent in the non-profit sector generally, but even then the few smart people understood that to operate successful they would have to function more like a business. The Tory cuts will have hurt them a lot I suspect.

I could write a book about my personal gripes related to volunteerism, particularly in relation to development projects, but I feel it would be more productive not to bother. The one sad aspect of it is that positive things like getting a wider perspective on the world often does not happen due to a lot of NGOs doing their best to stage manage the whole thing on a level you would expect from a Soviet era government.

If you want to travel and do something nice, just go on as basic budget as possible, travel on public transport with locals, try to learn the language and you will find opportunities to do things if you are sincere and check things out before you start.
>> No. 9855 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 5:01 pm
9855 spacer
>>9854
>If you want to travel and do something nice, just go on as basic budget as possible, travel on public transport with locals, try to learn the language and you will find opportunities to do things if you are sincere and check things out before you start.

Exactly this. I think both parties get a lot more out of this, as you get to experience somewhere new and actually get involved with the people/culture and learn new things, and they get some sincere help. It will also be much, much cheaper than paying for these volunteering getaways out of your own pocket, and better than getting other people to pay for them for you.
>> No. 9856 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 7:07 pm
9856 spacer
>>9854
>>9855
That all sounds well and good but surely there are a number of precautions you have to take so that you don't end up getting chopped up and dumped in a ditch because Mr. Adeyemi fancies the look of your watch.
>> No. 9857 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 7:09 pm
9857 spacer
>>9856

Life's about adventure, use common sense and you'll be fine.

Travelling in groups helps too.
>> No. 9858 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 7:20 pm
9858 spacer
Our Director thinks it's a great idea for a team day so I have to drive an extra bit out of my way and waste a day I could be doing work fannying about in a posh hotel listening to other colleagues talk about what went well for them this year.

Fucking why.
>> No. 9859 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 8:38 pm
9859 spacer
>>9857
>common sense

Could you rephrase that as if you are talking to someone who regularly visits an obscure imageboard?
>> No. 9860 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 8:43 pm
9860 spacer
>>9858
Free bar?
>> No. 9861 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 8:51 pm
9861 spacer
>>9860

Yes but I have to be in work the next day, like the rest of the team, so it seems pointless.
>> No. 9862 Anonymous
3rd May 2016
Tuesday 11:27 pm
9862 spacer
>>9861
Did you not have the foresight to book the following day off to take full advantage?
>> No. 9863 Anonymous
4th May 2016
Wednesday 12:59 pm
9863 spacer
I really enjoy being on a zero hours contract with very limited cover on the liability insurance, yet being made to help carry out maintenance work on the gas pipes.
>> No. 9864 Anonymous
4th May 2016
Wednesday 1:20 pm
9864 spacer
>>9863
You must enjoy it if you haven't bothered to speak to your union about it.
>> No. 9865 Anonymous
4th May 2016
Wednesday 2:03 pm
9865 spacer
>>9864
I'm not in a union. I have been told they are thugs who eat children.
>> No. 9866 Anonymous
4th May 2016
Wednesday 7:31 pm
9866 spacer
>>9865
Yes. They eat the children of the people who make their members' lives difficult. You want them on your side if you don't want them eating your children instead.
>> No. 9867 Anonymous
5th May 2016
Thursday 7:53 am
9867 spacer
At the toilets closest to my office, someone keeps taking out all of the paper towels in the dispenser and dumping them in the bin. Every time I go in I see massive chucks of clean paper towels just laying waste and the dispenser constantly starved of stock.

I've found myself reluctantly fishing a few of them out of the bin and using them anyway.
>> No. 9868 Anonymous
5th May 2016
Thursday 4:44 pm
9868 spacer
>>9867

Well. You played right into his hands there, lad, you've got to give him that.
>> No. 9869 Anonymous
5th May 2016
Thursday 10:09 pm
9869 spacer
>>9868


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr5EvZDjUFY
>> No. 9870 Anonymous
5th May 2016
Thursday 10:56 pm
9870 spacer
>>9869
HE'S EN MAH MAYND
>> No. 9871 Anonymous
9th May 2016
Monday 7:54 pm
9871 spacer
One of the women I work with has a happen of picking up printing and then going round the (fairly large) office loudly asking groups of people if they've printed it off. The printer has a log button, so if she pressed that she could quickly find out who's printed it off.
>> No. 9872 Anonymous
9th May 2016
Monday 8:10 pm
9872 spacer
>>9871

Good for her.

A lot of people in my office have the habit of printing stuff, then forgetting they've printed it, so the top of the printers end up buried piles of unwanted paper.
>> No. 9873 Anonymous
9th May 2016
Monday 9:37 pm
9873 spacer
>>9872
Someone else always does this. He also regularly stinks the place out by chain drinking Cup-a-Soup.
>> No. 9891 Anonymous
10th May 2016
Tuesday 9:53 pm
9891 spacer
>>9872
Same happens in our office and I'm not even sure how they manage. The printer has a badge scanner and won't start printing anything until you've physically walked up to the thing, swiped your badge and told it to print (a security measure to prevent people printing sensitive documents and then leaving them in the printer or someone else getting to them first).

Yet still people manage waltz up, badge in, start the printing and then wander off and forget... it boggles the mind.
>> No. 9893 Anonymous
10th May 2016
Tuesday 10:45 pm
9893 spacer
>>9872
Agreed - I like the sound of her. Printer Wankers are wankers.
>> No. 9894 Anonymous
10th May 2016
Tuesday 10:54 pm
9894 spacer
>>9891
I guess it's still the case that "the universe is winning".
>> No. 9897 Anonymous
11th May 2016
Wednesday 6:25 pm
9897 spacer
I started a new job a few months ago, my second job out of uni, with my first having been only for a few months. I'm not even 22 yet.

At my current job my boss had been making jokes that I had a PhD every now and then and because the concept of me having one at 21 seemed so ridiculous I just presumed it was a joke and joined in with it.

Today he brought it up again in front of a load of colleagues and once again I presumed it was a joke, so I played along whilst smiling and looking at him, although he kept up the appearance very well.

My colleagues were baffled and wondered how I'd managed to complete one so soon and what in.

About five minutes into what turned into people seriously investigating me it transpired that my boss did genuinely in fact think I have a PhD and for the several months I've been there he thought he had a 21 year old lad on 21k with a PhD working for him.

I have no idea how this come about.
>> No. 9898 Anonymous
11th May 2016
Wednesday 6:34 pm
9898 spacer
>>9897
Just roll with it.
>> No. 9899 Anonymous
11th May 2016
Wednesday 6:39 pm
9899 spacer
>>9898

He's now aware that I don't, following ridicule from colleagues who seemed to find it hilarious after the initial 'what the fuck' stage.

Gave me a good laugh though, I guess I'll take it as a compliment.
>> No. 9900 Anonymous
11th May 2016
Wednesday 6:41 pm
9900 spacer
>>9765
>they're going to create a new role which has been specifically designed where I'll be the only person in the team eligible to apply due to the minimum requirements including a qualification that only I hold

The job was advertised last week. The deadline isn't until Friday but my manager's already told me she's coming down next week for a meeting to formalise the job offer to me.
>> No. 9911 Anonymous
12th May 2016
Thursday 7:48 pm
9911 Adding further to the list of printer-related-annoyances:
When someone is printing a large document, say 20 pages at least, there are people who are waiting for something in the queue after it who walk up to the printer, and as every single page comes out, they pick it up to see if it's theirs and then put it on the side (in the wrong order obviously). This is all despite the fact that the printer has a screen which tells you who's printing at that moment.
>> No. 9912 Anonymous
12th May 2016
Thursday 7:55 pm
9912 spacer
>>9911
It's even better when you set the printer to staple and them taking sheets out completely fucks it up.
>> No. 9913 Anonymous
12th May 2016
Thursday 7:58 pm
9913 spacer
>>9912
That's a passive aggressive move. Seems like you have some enemies in your office.
>> No. 9914 Anonymous
12th May 2016
Thursday 9:20 pm
9914 spacer
Because the sun was out, some people in the office had a puerile fit about wanting ice cream.

They spent the best part of twenty minutes trying to convince everybody else to go to the shop to buy the ice cream they wanted instead of doing the adult thing and going themselves.


People really piss me off for some reason when they act like that.
>> No. 9915 Anonymous
13th May 2016
Friday 12:01 am
9915 spacer
>>9914

Our catering team have the brains to bring up a chillbox on wheels to the offices. That Solero was the best thing I had all day...
>> No. 9933 Anonymous
18th May 2016
Wednesday 6:56 pm
9933 spacer
Football talk. I don't mind watching football, I can take it or leave it, but, fuck me, it's one of the most inane things to have a conversation about - especially when you didn't actually watch the match and are just reeling off possession and shots on target stats you've looked up online.
>> No. 9934 Anonymous
18th May 2016
Wednesday 9:19 pm
9934 spacer
>>9933
Why don't you just say you did not watch it? Who are you trying to impress?
>> No. 9935 Anonymous
18th May 2016
Wednesday 9:27 pm
9935 spacer
>>9934
I've tried that, they carry on regardless. I reckon it's because he's new and thinks if there's a silence he has to fill it.
>> No. 9936 Anonymous
18th May 2016
Wednesday 9:33 pm
9936 spacer
>>9935
Say you haven't watched it and stop responding to him while he talks about the game. If he asks you a question regarding it, let him know again that you haven't watched it. He will stop.

How does he bully you into researching stats for a game you haven't watched? You're probably crazier than him.
>> No. 9937 Anonymous
18th May 2016
Wednesday 9:38 pm
9937 spacer
>>9936
Sorry, he's the one who looks up stats. He didn't watch the Brighton - Sheff Wed game but he was telling me about Brighton having 67% possession and Wednesday only having a few shots on target.
>> No. 9938 Anonymous
18th May 2016
Wednesday 9:56 pm
9938 spacer
>>9937
Oh. Sorry mate. I would just ignore him and stare into my screen.
>> No. 9939 Anonymous
19th May 2016
Thursday 1:08 am
9939 spacer
>>9937
Mate it was a fucking great game, Brighton should've been 5-0 up within 15 minutes.
>> No. 10032 Anonymous
8th June 2016
Wednesday 8:48 pm
10032 spacer
People won't stop fannying about with the air con. They'll put it on until it's freezing and everyone is too cold and then they'll turn it off until everyone is sweltering before deciding to put it back to ridiculously cold again. Just keep it at a constant pleasant temperature, for fuck's sake.
>> No. 10033 Anonymous
8th June 2016
Wednesday 8:51 pm
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>>10032

The latest fad in my office is having mini usb desk fans.

They don't actually cool anybody down but just make a ridiculous amount of distracting noise.


I fucking hate people. Stupid. Fucking. Cunts.
>> No. 10034 Anonymous
8th June 2016
Wednesday 9:04 pm
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>>10033
Pssssst

http://britfa.gs/g/res/19820.html
>> No. 10036 Anonymous
8th June 2016
Wednesday 9:46 pm
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>>10032

This is mostly due to peoples complete inability to understand what a thermostat is for and how it works.
>> No. 10037 Anonymous
8th June 2016
Wednesday 11:16 pm
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>>10033>>10032

I have these geniuses that leave both windows open with the AC on. Then there are questions as to why there is condensation coming from the ceiling tiles.
>> No. 10038 Anonymous
13th June 2016
Monday 5:53 pm
10038 spacer
A few things:-

• IT have decided to blanket ban the BBC website during afternoons in case someone tries to stream one of the 2:00pm kick off Euro 2016 matches.

• Marketing have spent shitloads of money on consultancy wonks in order to come up with the bright idea of... rebranding by moving the company logo from on top of the company name to the left-hand side of it.

• Women in the office feeling compelled to declare completely out of the blue that they're going for a wee.
>> No. 10039 Anonymous
13th June 2016
Monday 8:44 pm
10039 spacer
>>10038
You work for the wrong company. We're screening all the games, with beer. Much easier than having people skive off to watch it.
>> No. 10040 Anonymous
13th June 2016
Monday 9:53 pm
10040 spacer
>>10039

Same here. One of the big bosses said that we need to come prepared with an idea of what pizza and beer we want to order and decide amongst ourselves who is doing an ice cream run at half time when the pizza is gone.

What kind of cockend company isn't letting people watch it?

Also >>10038, never try and explain marketing. I find them as infuriating as HR. Our company have ten of them. Ten! They just complain about people using the wrong shade of colour and wrong font on certain documents. Why does that take ten people?

Their manager is a cockend too, one of these people with no real job so she just makes up work to do and calls those of us with actual work to do into sessions where we can 'thought shower' whilst she writes words like 'energise' and 'engage' and 'inspire' on post it notes and talks shit.

/rant
>> No. 10041 Anonymous
14th June 2016
Tuesday 6:34 am
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>>10040
>What kind of cockend company isn't letting people watch it?

The owners and directors of the company are all Scottish.
>> No. 10042 Anonymous
14th June 2016
Tuesday 7:12 am
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>>10040
>What kind of cockend company isn't letting people watch it?
A company at which people are expected to work, presumably.
>> No. 10043 Anonymous
14th June 2016
Tuesday 5:43 pm
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>>10041
>Miserable Scottish people as your bosses.

I'm very sorry.

>>10042
Ahh yes, the office kill joy. There's always one. Is that you John? 'I don't like pizza. I don't drink beer I'll feel left out. Why do we make this exception for football? Why can't we have a day for antiques roadshow? Help, help people are having fun outside the necessary work constraints and it doesn't directly appeal to me!'

Whinge to HR, lad.
>> No. 10044 Anonymous
14th June 2016
Tuesday 5:57 pm
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>>10043
I wouldn't want a day for antiques roadshow, because I don't even watch television. Other than that, accurate.
>> No. 10045 Anonymous
14th June 2016
Tuesday 6:02 pm
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>>10044
Do you, for one, even own a television?
>> No. 10046 Anonymous
14th June 2016
Tuesday 6:19 pm
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>>10044

Yeah, well, I just want to let you know the rest of the office thinks you're a cunt and we don't understand why just because you don't like it, the majority of us have to suffer because you're awkward.
>> No. 10047 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 5:47 pm
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I'd be pretty chuffed if I got to not work and watch football instead but most companies wouldn't allow it. I don't think >>10042 is automatically the office killjoy just for pointing that out (although granted in this case they've admitted they are anyway).
>> No. 10048 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 5:52 pm
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If my company didn't let me watch the England game I'd just leave and watch it anyway.
>> No. 10049 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 5:55 pm
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I think it says something about the population of this board that it seems to think getting time off to watch a football match is the norm.

Specifically, that most of you have trivial non-jobs.
>> No. 10050 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 6:01 pm
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>>10049
Trivial non-jobs are those that require permanent exposure to customers and the like, retail etc.
>> No. 10051 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:02 pm
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>>10050
Typical trivial non-jobholder attitude.
>> No. 10052 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:25 pm
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>>10050
I'm a brain surgeon and I postponed a couple of surgeries this week so that I can watch football.
>> No. 10053 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:27 pm
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>>10049
>>10050


Fuck me, some of you really are miserable cunts. I love how people think an office boosting a bit of employee morale thinks it is a non-job.


What do you lads do for work then that's so important?
>> No. 10054 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:34 pm
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Apparently it will hit the economy badly, but some institute or busybody said that employers should allow their employees to watch the match because it will boost morale and maybe even productivity.
>> No. 10055 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:38 pm
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>>10054

According to some of these lads if they don't make that spreadsheet with the invoices or send a few emails or god forbid do some accounting then we'll only lose the productivity of non-jobs.

If you're not an on duty police officer, doctor, paramedic or secret intelligence employee keeping us safe from terrorists, you're probably not as important as you think you are.
>> No. 10056 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:42 pm
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>>10055
> you're probably not as important as you think you are
This sentence should be framed and placed on every wall inside every office. I can't fucking stand self-important and self-absorbed cunts.
>> No. 10057 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:47 pm
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>>10049
>Specifically, that most of you have trivial non-jobs.
I suspect the posters who are getting to watch the footie with a beer on the boss's money are working for small companies with a relaxed corporate culture.

Whether I'm right or wrong, I'd be curious to hear what kind of jobs you lot are working where this happens, because it's never happened to me or (to my knowledge) anyone else I know, which covers a pretty broad range of jobs and pay scales.
>> No. 10058 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:47 pm
10058 spacer
>>10056

I guarantee the people saying other people have 'non-jobs' here will be the same people at work who wrestle and wriggle over internal promotions and be excited to change their email footer when they get a slightly better title.

'I'm now Head of Accounts instead of Accounts Manager! I'm so fucking important. I'm really making it!'

Cringe inducing.
>> No. 10059 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:50 pm
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>>10057

I work as a lobbyist for a huge international company (billions of pounds profit every year) and we're all getting pizza and beer to watch the match. We're a huge fuck off company.

I don't know any friends working at non-complete-shit jobs that aren't having some sort of office party or shit.

Even some friends stuck in that temping spiral are getting to have it on TV in the background.

You must all have an absolutely miserable company.
>> No. 10060 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:55 pm
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>>10053

No lad, I was referring to the posters who sounded surprised that there are some companies who are being tight enough to not let their employees watch it. If you have a job where you take morale-boosts etc like this for granted, as is what it sounded like, then the chances are your company doesn't do much important.

I'm not intending it as a criticism of the individual's character. I work in a lab testing medical samples, so it's unlikely I'll get to go waste an hour and a half watching it. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love to.

It just seems some lads are quite blinkered, such as the chap suggesting he would skive off to watch it even if he wasn't allowed- That's the sort of attitude that you're going to have if your job only involves putting numbers in spreadsheets and faxing emails about accounts and invoices, or whatever it is you office types do. You don't care about your work because your work is meaningless and unimportant. It's a non-job.
>> No. 10061 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 7:59 pm
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>>10060
If this is to try and get a response, it's very well done.

If it's not, I can't believe there's lads out there thinking testing medical samples in a lab is some sort of high intensity profession that would end the world if you took an afternoon off to watch some footie.

A fucking lab technician. My fucking God. If you're gonna be a supercilious prick at least do something impressive.
>> No. 10062 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:04 pm
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>>10061

I'd like to see you maintain that position when you're in intensive care waiting for the results of a gentamicin assay, or your newborn child needs a cerebrospinal fluid investigating.

"Sorry mate, the labs close for the footy."
>> No. 10063 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:04 pm
10063 spacer
It is actually the opposite. People with nonjobs, on zero hour contracts and the like are going to be forced to work. The people with better jobs are the ones who are taking a half day.
>> No. 10064 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:06 pm
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>>10062

I can't stop laughing.

And I'd like to see you maintain your smug 'we don't need these jobs' when some cunts doesn't do your company accounting and you don't get paid, there are so many examples where I could go on.

Honestly mate, get over yourself. You're definitely not as important as you think you are. Ah well, you'll probably be replaced by robotics in ten years anyway mate.
>> No. 10065 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:12 pm
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>>10064

Are you dense or something? The difference is those things can wait.

At least I'll still have a job repairing the robot that repairs the robot that analyses urine, while your entire office has been rendered obsolete by a self-aware copy of Microsoft Excel.
>> No. 10066 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:15 pm
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>>10065
Why are you so self-absorbed?
>> No. 10067 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:16 pm
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>>10065

I honestly think you might be a bit dense lad. Just because you see your world as self important doesn't mean those things are the be all and end all.

Tell your company to lay off paying people for another few weeks, see if it can wait. I'm not even an accountant - just not a thick cunt.

Thanks for the laugh though lad, I honestly thought you might have at least been a doctor or something. Is this what all them STEM lads who get in the faces of lads who do the arts about how they're wasting their time turn into?
>> No. 10068 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:23 pm
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Good grief. I think some of you lads might need a hobby, you place entirely too much self worth in your non-jobs.
>> No. 10069 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:26 pm
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>>10068

It's cracking me up knowing there's a lad out there whose a lab technician who will probably walk past his legal department, accounts and go 'fucking hell, scrap them all, we don't need them' before driving home past the police station and going 'pah, petty jobs nowhere near as important as mine' before switching on his TV and going 'Why didn't David C respond to my letter anyway? He does a petty non-job being PM and all, how dare he ignore me. I'm a Lab Technician after all!'
>> No. 10070 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:28 pm
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>>10064

>there are so many examples where I could go on.

Erm, go on then mate.

Not being funny but he does kind of have a leg up on you in terms of people's actual health being endangered. Nobody ever died of a delayed invoice.

Well, not that I'm aware of.
>> No. 10071 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:33 pm
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>>10070

I think you're missing the point.

If people stop cleaning up, if people stop farming the land, if people stop building the roads, managing the money, making the rules, chasing the rules, directing the people, diagnosing the people, the world will struggle.

The same would be the case without his job. The point is, if he takes two hours off to watch the footie the country won't implode. His job is no more special than everybody else's, it's no more vital to society.

I can also 100% guarantee you, people die over money every single hour of every day. Stop thinking of it in puerile terms. It would be equally as easy for somebody to say 'nobody ever died from a dusty pipette.'

Hope that helps lad.
>> No. 10072 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:42 pm
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>>10071

By the same token though, youmust accept that there are real, actual non-jobs. Jobs that needn't exist. They do exist, and they are tied into the economic fabric of our society because somebody pays for them to be done and someone gets paid to do them- But at the end of the day they don't actually matter. Scroll up a bit and refer to the brief discussion of marketing departments, and you might see what I mean.

I'm sure labtechlad doesn't actually think his HR and legal departments are meaningless, but there is much less directly at stake in that ninety minute window while they go watch the footy than if his department did it. We're not talking about a big picture her, we're talking about a football match. I'm also sure the term non-job was used specifically to get a lot of people's backs up, and it seems to have worked a treat.
>> No. 10073 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 8:47 pm
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>>10072

Of course, but just because it's in an office doesn't mean it's a non job. They're equally as important as his. Sure, a marketing team scribbling logos might not cause anybody death, they still have a huge role in society to play.

My point is this, nobody will die if his pipette isn't whipped into action for an hour and if they will, then I'd like to know what kind of lab and diseases they test for, because it must be in the minority.

I don't really think anybody has got upset, I genuinely just think it's mockery that such a mundane and generic job could cause somebody to have such brash confidence in branding people as having 'non-jobs' and ascribing themselves with such importance.

I for one, have had a good laugh at it. I'm definitely convinced, as the other post says, he would have been one of those lads at uni saying how important his STEM degree is and how useless the arts are.
>> No. 10074 Anonymous
15th June 2016
Wednesday 11:00 pm
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I won't be taking any time off work to watch the football because I'm working from home tomorrow anyway.
>> No. 10075 Anonymous
16th June 2016
Thursday 6:47 am
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Atleast you'll be able to watch the match you cunts, at best I might be able to listen to a bit of it while fighting off women for control of the radio.
>> No. 10076 Anonymous
16th June 2016
Thursday 7:47 am
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>>10075
Stream it on iPlayer? BTW when did this place get full of Downies?
>> No. 10077 Anonymous
17th June 2016
Friday 3:23 am
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>>10057

Back in 2006 I was working in Brazil at a government-sponsored computer-science research lab that was tied up with the local university's CS department. During any Brazil games, policy was that if the game was in the afternoon we got off work at midday and if the game was in the morning we got the whole day off.

I assume this was partially to boost employee moral, but I'm fairly sure that it was mainly to stop inveterate pissheads like myself from trying to perform herculean tasks like manually merging a CVS conflict after drinking heavily for six hours and somehow managing to meticulously commit the server side of every single conflict. Not that that ever happened or anything. Ahem.

Sage for not adding very much at all beyond a mildly amusing anecdote.
>> No. 10078 Anonymous
17th June 2016
Friday 12:55 pm
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>>10076

We had an iplayer stream going on a projector while we were working. Problem was that a load of people downstairs in the foyer were watching it on normal telly, we heard the cheers for each goal coming up about two minutes before we got to see it. Totally ruined the tension and excitement.
>> No. 10079 Anonymous
17th June 2016
Friday 2:08 pm
10079 spacer
Why is the BBC's live stream only in SD?
>> No. 10080 Anonymous
17th June 2016
Friday 2:58 pm
10080 spacer
>>10076
Some matches are on ITV for whatever reason - had to resort to a less than reputable stream for the Northern Ireland game. Very glad I did in the end though.
>> No. 10081 Anonymous
17th June 2016
Friday 4:57 pm
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>>10078
I work on a business park and they hired a big screen to watch it on in a car park, with a token for free beer and ice cream, but I lost count of the amount of times it buffered.
>> No. 10082 Anonymous
18th June 2016
Saturday 10:55 pm
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>>10080
I've been streaming all the games from less than appropriate sources, I get them at 1080p and 60fps, far better than the BBC or ITV's stream.
>> No. 10083 Anonymous
18th June 2016
Saturday 11:26 pm
10083 spacer
I work for a government agency through a temping agency. They sacked someone from my agency on Thursday for apparently watching the game on his phone (the England V. Wales game on Thursday). Apparently, he placed his phone on the table while working on his computer. It wasn't loud or anything, he was using his earphones. One of the managers walked over to him, and after a brief chat, he was told to leave his security pass, laptop, etc, behind and then he was escorted out of the building.

The government agency isn't like the warehouse jobs I used to do when I was 16, we are handling sensitive documents, but it feels like I am 16 in a warehouse in the summer again. The fun bit is that the government agency is going though some severe cuts and the department I work at will lose close to half its head-counts, but they thought ahead and employed many temps. Now, over third of the employees in the department are temps.

The IT department right next door were so loud. I could hear them celebrate after England scored the goal. Anyway, how serious is the Official Secrets Act 1989?
>> No. 10085 Anonymous
21st June 2016
Tuesday 12:47 pm
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>>10083
it depends on what the secrets are.
>> No. 10086 Anonymous
21st June 2016
Tuesday 11:03 pm
10086 spacer
Couple of things:

• Usually I can wear my work shirts twice before I have to wash them, but it's so humid that my armpits are too smelly to risk a second day.

• One of the women I work with. I really get along with her, but she can be such hard work. She's pushing 40, but she still wishes she was in her late teens/early twenties as she's constantly talking about alcohol and lamenting how none of her friends want to go out drinking on a regular basis because they've all settled down and got married. She'll only date men twenty years younger than her, but the last few have just ended up using her for a bit of financial security.
>> No. 10087 Anonymous
22nd June 2016
Wednesday 12:08 am
10087 spacer
>>10086
Sounds like a good arse pissing would help.
>> No. 10088 Anonymous
22nd June 2016
Wednesday 12:25 am
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>>10086
I'm worried I'm going to end up like that. I feel like my teens and twenties have been nowhere near as debauched as they should have been and will be constantly in this mindset until I'm a creepy old sod.
>> No. 10089 Anonymous
22nd June 2016
Wednesday 12:29 am
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>>10088

Move abroad and take up with a traveler girl. Do this now.
>> No. 10090 Anonymous
22nd June 2016
Wednesday 1:08 am
10090 spacer
>>10088

Just be absolutely brazen about it. Don't give one iota of a shit. It transforms you from a creepy weirdo into a cult hero.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzP1XC51kro?start=100
>> No. 10091 Anonymous
22nd June 2016
Wednesday 6:12 am
10091 spacer
>>10089
>take up with a traveler girl

You don't have to go abroad for that. There's plenty of pikeys here.
>> No. 10092 Anonymous
22nd June 2016
Wednesday 7:03 am
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>>10091
I think if you tried taking up with a pikey girl, you'd end up dead in a ditch after her brothers got hold of you.

I suspect he means more the hippy dreadlocks type of traveller.
>> No. 10093 Anonymous
22nd June 2016
Wednesday 11:20 pm
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>>10092
They're called trustafarians, mate. Be respectful.
>> No. 10094 Anonymous
28th June 2016
Tuesday 6:28 pm
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Work are sending me to London for courses on 'assertiveness' and 'influencing'.

Do they think I'm shy or something? What the fuck is this bullshit? It looks like they've paid a few hundred quid for each one too, plus my hotel, plus my pay and not working, plus my travel expenses.
>> No. 10095 Anonymous
28th June 2016
Tuesday 6:30 pm
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>>10094
I thought the same about my work but they're sometimes pretty good. Depends what the training firm is like. If you play naughty boy at the back of the classroom then you'll get nothing out of it but stuff like that can be valuable.
>> No. 10096 Anonymous
28th June 2016
Tuesday 6:34 pm
10096 spacer
>>10095

I don't understand what exactly it is though. My whole job is interacting with people a lot of the time and getting them to think my way, what are they going to do exactly, tell me how to show symapthy but ultimately get my way?

I thought I did that already.
>> No. 10097 Anonymous
28th June 2016
Tuesday 6:43 pm
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>>10096
You should ask at work for the summary of what the course claims to deliver. Just go along with an open mind and do the prep work if you've been set any.
>> No. 10098 Anonymous
28th June 2016
Tuesday 6:56 pm
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>>10094

Sounds like some stupid shit like NLP.

Stands for Nazi Learning Programme.
>> No. 10099 Anonymous
30th June 2016
Thursday 7:35 am
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We've got a new starter and he's really getting on my tits. He is extremely qualified and his technical knowledge is very good, which means that he's extremely full of himself, but the standard of work he's actually producing is piss poor. If you can talk the talk then you need to back this up and walk the walk.
>> No. 10100 Anonymous
1st July 2016
Friday 7:50 am
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Today's the deadline for booking our Christmas party and we've also got to have our menu choices in. How am I supposed to know now in six month's time whether I'd rather have tiramisu or lemon cheesecake?
>> No. 10101 Anonymous
1st July 2016
Friday 11:41 am
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>>10100
Tiramisu, don't be a fucking poof. Only girls order the cheesecake.
>> No. 10102 Anonymous
1st July 2016
Friday 4:44 pm
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>>10100
The obvious answer is the cheese board, you fucking poof!
>> No. 10103 Anonymous
1st July 2016
Friday 4:46 pm
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>>10100
Surely Christmas pud for dessert is a no-brainer?
>> No. 10104 Anonymous
1st July 2016
Friday 4:47 pm
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>>10103
Christmas pudding is always a gamble, there's nothing worse than a bad Christmas pudding. Nothing compares to my mum's ones that are left to mature in the larder for 3 months.
>> No. 10105 Anonymous
1st July 2016
Friday 4:56 pm
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>>10100

There's something profoundly tragic about that.
>> No. 10106 Anonymous
1st July 2016
Friday 6:06 pm
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>>10101
Sometimes I want something tart and fruity but I've got to be in the right mood for it, like sorbet.
>> No. 10107 Anonymous
5th July 2016
Tuesday 11:03 pm
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After a "restructuring," we had a long meeting, with people's workloads increasing because some four people were let go, and we were told to become more efficient. The consultant cunt who was talking was not happy that people sometimes get sick. 45 minutes into the meeting, a lad who worked in a different team to mine for some seven months, just loudly announced he was bored and didn't like working any more, and just left. He just left while the whole room just fell silent.

I wish I knew him. I would have had a pint with him.
>> No. 10108 Anonymous
6th July 2016
Wednesday 7:50 pm
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There's malware in our system after someone opened an attachment in an email last night without paying due care and attention. We were told to all turn off our computers at around 9:15. Just before 1pm IT ran some tests on our computers looking for any obvious malware files but we'd no access to the drive all our documents are stored, outlook or our back office system. At around 3pm they decided they'd need to clear each computer in the building, around 30 in total, and it would take around an hour to do each one. The IT manager was working from home today but didn't bother coming in to help with this. It was obvious that we could do fuck all today and it's likely it'll be the same in the morning but the management didn't let us go early. It's a good job they said we could use the WiFi and stream Wimbledon after they'd ran the tests at 1ish or I'd have gone out of my mind.
>> No. 10109 Anonymous
6th July 2016
Wednesday 7:58 pm
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>>10108
Clearly you work at the wrong company.
>> No. 10112 Anonymous
6th July 2016
Wednesday 10:00 pm
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>>10108
Something similar happened at my workplace, but I get paid by the hour, so I couldn't really complain.
>> No. 10114 Anonymous
6th July 2016
Wednesday 11:31 pm
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>>10108

At one of my old workplaces, the IT guys were fucking golden. Their infrastructure had a nasty habit of failing spectacularly on Monday mornings, Friday afternoons and whenever there was a big international fixture. Somehow senior management never twigged, or they just went along for the ride.
>> No. 10115 Anonymous
7th July 2016
Thursday 12:21 am
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Lads, I love this thread, I've been hear since the beginning, but, it might be time for a new one.
>> No. 10116 Anonymous
7th July 2016
Thursday 2:37 am
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>>10115
No.
>> No. 10117 Anonymous
7th July 2016
Thursday 6:59 am
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>>10114
Our IT guys are in two days a week at the best of times, sometimes less than this when they tell us they have to work from home to take their dog to the vets or go to the supermarket or something despite the fact they could have done this on the 3/4 days they're dicking around at home already anyway. They also keep talking about wanting to hire more staff because of how busy they are.

>>10115
No need. This is like a .gs time capsule and /job/ is far from a busy board either.
>> No. 10118 Anonymous
7th July 2016
Thursday 12:21 pm
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>>10117

The paradox of IT. If your team really know what they're doing, they do very little work because nothing seriously breaks down. A lot of really inept teams are perceived as heroic hard workers, because they're always running around putting out fires. The best IT team is one you don't notice.
>> No. 10119 Anonymous
7th July 2016
Thursday 1:46 pm
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>>10118
At my workplace they're perceived as incompetent fuckwits precisely because they spend all their time putting out fires so to speak.
>> No. 10122 Anonymous
8th July 2016
Friday 6:34 pm
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They used to 'accidentally' order too much milk, so we'd be able to each take a couple of pints home on a Friday with the justification that it'd be off by the end of the weekend. However, they've stopped doing it now for some reason. I actually have to buy my own milk.
>> No. 10123 Anonymous
8th July 2016
Friday 11:09 pm
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>>10118

They're like special forces soldiers then?

>>10122

Milk's pretty crap anyway. Bad for you and tastes pretty crap.
>> No. 10124 Anonymous
9th July 2016
Saturday 12:03 am
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>>10123
>Milk's pretty crap anyway. Bad for you and tastes pretty crap.
Are you trying to piss me off?
>> No. 10125 Anonymous
9th July 2016
Saturday 1:17 am
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994LTP_Jean_Reno_005[1].jpg
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>>10123
You having a laugh or something mate?
>> No. 10126 Anonymous
10th July 2016
Sunday 3:05 am
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lol.gif
101261012610126
>>10125

lol i

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 10127 Anonymous
10th July 2016
Sunday 3:13 am
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>>10126
>> No. 10128 Anonymous
10th July 2016
Sunday 3:36 am
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>>10127

Fuppin praydofile.

Fupp off.
>> No. 10129 Anonymous
11th July 2016
Monday 7:06 am
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>>10114

My place doesn't have a dedicated IT guy, I'm the guy who is "good with computers" and any other machinery for that matter. The amount of mouthbreathers who blame technology rather than themselves for something not working is astounding, things such as seeing if it's plugged in properly or doing something wrong and blaming the machine instead.

At this point I want to wear a red hooded coat and carry an gear headed axe.

Praise the Omnissiah.
>> No. 10130 Anonymous
11th July 2016
Monday 3:10 pm
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>>10129
I once lived with a guy who was in a panic shouting up to me "The boiler's broken, we need a new boiler, ring the landlord!". Neither HW/CH was selected at the wall switch - for some reason it had got turned off. He jumped straight to Teacon 5 without doing any basic checks. I was flabbergasted.
>> No. 10131 Anonymous
11th July 2016
Monday 5:15 pm
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>>10130

Teacon 1, lad. 5 is the least serious.

I pray we never leave you in charge of the biscuits.
>> No. 10132 Anonymous
11th July 2016
Monday 5:30 pm
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>>10131
Great, now he knows we have biscuits. Fuck's sake.
>> No. 10136 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 9:24 am
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>>10129
I showed a colleague what CTRL+F does and he looked at me like I was some kind of wizard.
>> No. 10137 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 9:37 am
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>>10136

Was he at least 450 years old though? I find it much more unsettling when people who've grown up with computers still don't know the most basic things.
>> No. 10138 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 9:45 am
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>>10137
He has to be late 30's to mid forties he's not much older than me, he's just a bit clueless with computers.
>> No. 10139 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 12:55 pm
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>>10137

"Grown up with computers" is still a relatively late on thing really though, stretching back to perhaps 1990 at the earliest. Anywhere before that and there's still a good chance that your family didn't have a computer for the majority of your childhood, and you certainly wouldn't have been able to afford one in your student years. It's only people born in about '95 onwards for whom we can really take computer literacy for granted; and even then it's still perfectly well possible that they're just a bit thick.

We always had a computer when I was growing up, from the age of about 4 or so. Our first one was a truly rubbish Packard Bell with Windows 95, that my parents encouraged me to use and become familiar with because they were sure computers were "the future" and that if I was good with computers, I'd be successful in this future. What they didn't anticipate is that computers would become so ubiquitous that being computer literate is not a way to success at all, but merely a prerequisite to consideration for most jobs.

What scares me is that I already feel left behind as things drift away from PCs and into this nebulous realm of tablets and apps and user accounts for everything, where you don't own anything and everything is temporary, washed away by the next update which curiously seems to remove as many features as it adds... And the generation of people who are used to this strange realm while us old cunts moan about the good old days when you could log into a computer without giving Google a DNA sample...
>> No. 10140 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 2:29 pm
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>>10139

The Speccy came out in '82, the same year as Thatcher's Year of IT. Uncle Clive sold five million of the things; Acorn sold a similar number of Atoms, BBC Micros and Electrons combined.

We've had affordable computers for over 30 years. Anyone under 50 has had plenty of time and opportunity to get on board with computing. People can't be arsed, that's the long and short of it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtMWEiCdsfc
>> No. 10141 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 2:58 pm
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>>10140

Things like Spectrums and BBC Micros were very definitely niche hobby though, and realistically nothing like the computer as we know it today.

Selling 5 million of them is barely a drop in the ocean either- In a country of 50 million that's one for every ten people, which is optimistically only about a third of families owning one. The computer has only been truly universal for about the last ten years, just.
>> No. 10142 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 3:14 pm
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My first computer was a speccy, but for a lot of people from my generation computers were for spods. I got my first PC in 96 a 133mhz pentium with a massive 8 megs of RAM and a gig HDD. This means that I have been using PCs for over half my life, but I am definitely in the minority of people in the 35-50 agre range.
>> No. 10143 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 4:23 pm
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My dad had a weird Mac in the early 90s and a speccie and BBC micro and such before that.
>> No. 10144 Anonymous
12th July 2016
Tuesday 7:48 pm
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>>10140

I remember wanting a commodore 64 as a kid but we were too bloody poor. My first ever computer was a clapped out 486 and it cost me 500 quid. These days I could get five serviceable refurbished thinkpads for that off ebay. Computing is definitely a lot more affordable now than it ever was when I was a kid.
>> No. 10145 Anonymous
13th July 2016
Wednesday 6:33 am
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>>10144

Considering we all walk around with supercomputers in our pockets, I'd say that that's an understatement.
>> No. 10146 Anonymous
13th July 2016
Wednesday 3:47 pm
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>>10139
>What they didn't anticipate is that computers would become so ubiquitous that being computer literate is not a way to success at all, but merely a prerequisite to consideration for most jobs.

So true. I remember showing my mum my Dragonball Z fanpage on geocities when I was about 10 and she was so amazed she phoned up all our extended family to tell them I was some kind of super genius.

To this day she is convinced that the only thing stopping me from creating a website worth billions like facebook is a lack of ambition.
>> No. 10157 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:42 pm
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I'm a member of the voluntary critical illness scheme at work. The renewal should have been in April but they forgot about it, so a hurried email was sent last thing on Friday. It turns out the premiums have gone up, so they are going to make a deduction in my pay for this month to make up for it and it just so happens that the payroll cut off date was last Friday. Is that even legal? I didn't get the email until Monday morning so by the time I received notice it was too late to have my pay for the month amended, not to mention that our HR bint has calculated the underpayment wrong and managed to get it at more than double what I really owe, and at that point I hadn't even consented to being in the scheme for another year.
>> No. 10158 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:50 pm
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Some fucking baby boomer cunt at work in the canteen line was talking about how he's just bought his fifth house to 'do-up' and rent to 'kids' who he can rip off and have them pay the mortgage on whilst it goes up in value.

I don't know why, and I know he's within his right to do this, but it made me inconceivably angry that this type of old dying cunt was living an infinitely better life than me because shitheads like him were buying up all the properties, driving up the price and then making young people like myself pay to rent them.

What a cock.
>> No. 10159 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:05 pm
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>>10157
I imagine the double payment is precisely because they missed the cut-off date and are taking two months' deduction from your next pay.

Also, triple-check the finer points of the policy. Critical illness cover is known to be a veritable hotbed of cuntery.
>> No. 10160 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:07 pm
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>>10158
Would you rather that only peple who can afford to buy homes get to live in them?
>> No. 10161 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:13 pm
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>>10160

I'd rather homes were made more affordable by stopping cunts like this exploiting a shortage by pricing out others.
>> No. 10162 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:16 pm
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>>10161
In what way is allowing those who don't have a deposit saved to live somewhere pricing them out?
>> No. 10163 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:16 pm
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>>10158

You do know why. It's because it's a downright amoral and selfish way to make money, you know, it, he knows it, and you're completely correct to feel indignant about it.

I would make concessions for a middle aged couple buying a couple of places as a sort of retirement safety net; but the kind of cunt you are talking about is another breed, the sort who probably spent the last ten years watching Property Ladder and Homes Under the Hammer and thinks they are some sort of upstart property tycoon because they've refurbished a few knackered terrace houses.

There's a chap at my work who does it and he's a lovely bloke in all other regards, not a pompous prick like the guy you're talking about sounds; but even so I secretly hope when the bubble bursts he loses everything as a karmic lesson.
>> No. 10164 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:18 pm
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>>10162

Because you have people who bought houses at a time when they were within a reasonable proportion to the average income then buying extra houses they don't need nor will live in for the sole purpose of holding onto them whilst the prices rise and they become much more unattainable for earners as they fast outgrow wage growth.

By artificially holding on to them, they continue to create a shortage and push prices u and they can afford to keep doing this more and more with the more houses they own and the more people paying rent, as they were able to save extra money as their original mortgage was much much smaller.
>> No. 10165 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:19 pm
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>>10160

That's a false dichotomy.

I'd rather houses were worth the sensible prices they were a few decades ago so that more people could afford to buy them.

And that there were more council houses.

But anyway let's try not to have a cunt off in this thread. You disingenuous cunt.
>> No. 10166 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:20 pm
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>>10163

It's pathetic I've become so hateful but I smiled with glee when I read that some london properties are looking at a 30-50% price fall as the super wealthy move from London.

Take that you cunts who buy up property as an investment. Imagine getting a million pound mortgage on a property that then becomes a 500k property. This is why people voted Brexit, the absolute desperation the system causes.
>> No. 10167 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:26 pm
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>>10164
>Because you have people who bought houses at a time when they were within a reasonable proportion to the average income then buying extra houses they don't need nor will live in for the sole purpose of holding onto them whilst the prices rise and they become much more unattainable for earners as they fast outgrow wage growth.
So where are you expecting renters to live?
>> No. 10168 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:34 pm
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>>10159
I know not to trust insurers as far as I can throw them.

It's the difference between what I've paid for April - July and what should have been paid, although the figures HR have come up with aren't mathematically possible based on the level of cover I have and the increase in premiums.
>> No. 10169 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:42 pm
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>>10167


In houses, accommodation and the like that is affordable and reasonable.
>> No. 10170 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:09 pm
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>>10169
But where can you find one of those if nobody is letting them out because you've stopped people from doing it?
>> No. 10171 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:18 pm
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>>10158
I like baby boomers a lot more than our generation.
>> No. 10172 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:29 pm
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>>10170

If only there were some way for society to construct houses and let them out at a reasonable rate, for social good rather than private profit.
>> No. 10173 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:55 pm
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>>10172
Yeah, that would be great. You know what else would be good? Everyone retiring at 55 on two-thirds of their final salary, inflation-linked for life.
>> No. 10174 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 11:22 pm
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>>10173

Letting their employees do this is well within the profit margins of some companies but that's another debate entirely.
>> No. 10175 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 11:45 pm
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>>10174
>some companies
No, I specifically said "everyone".
>> No. 10176 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:04 am
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>>10175

Yes, I know you did, but I wasn't responding to the actual point you were trying to make because it was daft as fuck.

Building more social housing for low income members of society is something we could easily do. Comparing it to something magic and impossible as if the lad had said "Give everyone their own unicorn" is not an argument.
>> No. 10177 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:12 am
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>>10176
>Building more social housing for low income members of society is something we could easily do.
Not any more, it isn't. There's a reason we stopped building council housing, and it's not "because the Tories said so".
>> No. 10178 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:21 am
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>>10177
You're right, it's unfair to blame "the Tories" as a whole. There are even Tory councils which have petitioned for the right to build council housing, they can't because the Tories in government said so.
>> No. 10179 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:30 am
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>>10178
>they can't because the Tories in government said so
Oh, how precious. You actually think you have a point. Let me let you in on a secret. Large scale home-building won't magically become viable just by letting it happen. It simply isn't as cheap to build homes as it used to be. The days when a council could order up homes in bulk from local construction firms for an inflation-adjusted £20k a pop are long gone.
>> No. 10180 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:36 am
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>>10179
Why?
>> No. 10181 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:47 am
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>>10180
Labour costs, material costs, energy costs, consequentials (all the other things you have to pay for when you build homes), and the fuckery that is cover pricing.
>> No. 10182 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 1:06 am
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>>10179
>Oh, how precious.
N1m, got me there.

>You actually think you have a point. Let me let you in on a secret. Large scale home-building won't magically become viable just by letting it happen.
It is viable if you allow councils to borrow the necessary funds.
>> No. 10183 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 1:23 am
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>>10182
It's as if you stopped reading at the sentence you quoted. Go on. Read a bit further. You know you want to.
>> No. 10184 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 1:40 am
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>>10183
It's as if you find it impossible to understand that more funds being necessary than was previously the case is not the same thing as the practice being rendered nonviable.
>> No. 10185 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 1:51 am
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>>10184
Where does the money to service the borrowing come from? (Hint: it's not going to come from subsidised rents.)
>> No. 10186 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 2:03 am
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>>10185
You basically throw money at it like we have at the banks.
>> No. 10188 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 2:28 am
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>>10185
That would be up to individual councils? The point is that councils are currently artificially constrained in their borrowing by legislation, not by their ability to service debt.
>> No. 10189 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 2:55 am
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>>10179
>The days when a council could order up homes in bulk from local construction firms for an inflation-adjusted £20k a pop are long gone

http://www.cih.org/resources/PDF/Policy%20free%20download%20pdfs/Policy%20essay%209%20-%20Why%20is%20it%20important%20to%20change%20local%20authority%20borrowing%20rules%20-%20July%202014.pdf

Councils are in a strong position to borrow. Their average debt per dwelling is only around £17,000 – which is similar on average to housing associations but is much more evenly spread across the sector. Because of this, councils typically have a gearing ratio (ratio of debt to equity) 50 per cent lower than that of developing housing associations.
>> No. 10190 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 3:19 am
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>>10185

The treasury paid £9.32bn in Housing Benefit to the private sector in 2013/14. Most of that benefit was paid to working people. Spend a generous portion of that money servicing debt to finance housebuilding (currently 4.25% coupon for a 30-year gilt, potentially less for a secured municipal bond) and the treasury turns that expenditure into an investment.

Build on greenfield and the land cost is a rounding error - £21k per hectare average for agricultural land, 20-25 houses per hectare. Local authorities can effectively make an instant profit of ~£2m per hectare by granting planning permission to itself. CPO some land in the London commuter belt and the M62 corridor, throw up a few new towns. Sell half through shared ownership schemes and rent the other half as social housing to keep a decent mix of residents.

We can build hundreds of thousands of affordable homes and turn a profit. The only thing missing is the political will to do it. We've done it before, when borrowing costs were two or three times greater and house prices were three or four times lower. The numbers all add up, we just lack the courage to think beyond the next budget and the headlines of the Daily Mail. We've become a small, scared country, unwilling to make bold political decisions.
>> No. 10191 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 4:02 am
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>>10190
>21k per hectare average for agricultural land, 20-25 houses per hectare. Local authorities can effectively make an instant profit of ~£2m per hectare by granting planning permission to itself.
Yeah, no. We tried that trick where I live and the auditors were less than thrilled with the result.
>> No. 10192 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 7:43 am
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>>10190
>Build on greenfield and the land cost is a rounding error - £21k per hectare average for agricultural land, 20-25 houses per hectare.

The problem with this is NIMBYism in both local residents, and within the councils themselves. Even if councils do grant planning permission on this sort of scale, it could easily be held up by years of legal challenges to the decision.
Either way, any large scale building project will need to be driven primarily by central government, with local councils just managing the finer details.

Regarding cost of land, it's possible is that the cost of agricultural land will fall sharply following Brexit, due to loss of EU subsidies for land that isn't being used.

Building costs could be much cheaper if we move towards a modern method of construction such as SIPs, where the frames of houses are manufactured in factories. Houses built like this can go up very rapidly, and cut the labour cost considerably, it can actually be cheaper to buy a kit house from Denmark and drive it all the way to England than it is to scratch build here, costs will plummet if we start our own manufacturing on a large enough scale. Methods like this are very popular in Scandinavian countries, but people in Britain seem to have a deep mistrust of anything that isn't bricks and mortar.
>> No. 10193 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 1:45 pm
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>>10190
If only things were that simple. Building on greenfield has a huge number of problems associated with it. For starters, you have to negotiate with the land owner who may not want to sell you his land. Then you will have local residents and pressure groups who will be opposed to the destruction of the countryside as part of perceived 'urban creep' and who may mount various legal challenges to hold up the construction. This is all notwithstanding the fact that council houses tend to not be built with aesthetics in mind and are lived in by some of the lowest income strata of society; therefore local residents are likely to be more opposed to them than private housing, especially in areas that already have little council housing.

Finally, even if you are able to build without too many problems, you have to ask if you are really solving anything by building cheap housing in the back of beyond, when the real housing shortage is most acute in urban areas. Many of the cities in the UK are surrounded by designated greenbelt areas specifically to halt urban creep so it's not a case of building around them and improving transport links into the city. You'd need to make sure that the people who will live in the new housing will have access to enough jobs, public and private services in the local area, which could become a much more expensive development project than the cost of housing alone, with all of the above problems at every step.
>> No. 10194 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 2:29 pm
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>>10193

I think I addressed most of those points in my comment. NIMBYISM and land ownership issues are remarkably simple if central government is willing to apply some pressure - if we can build Crossrail, we can certainly build a few housing estates. The social problems of council estates are fairly easily managed by using a shared ownership/social rented split to prevent ghettoisation. We've learned a lot in the last 60 years about how to build good-quality social housing, particularly with the competition brought about by housing associations. We're a long way from the bad old days of slum clearances.

You don't have to build in the back of beyond to take advantage of cheap greenbelt, nor do you end up with unbearable sprawl. To take the M62 corridor as an example, there are numerous sites that are virtually empty but have superb transport links. Have a gander at the satellite imaging and you'll see dozens of little 200-500ha sites that currently provide negligible benefit to the local community but that could fit thousands of decent homes. Nobody is really going to miss a few rape fields wedged in between an industrial estate and a railway line.

These are easily surmountable problems for any society with a modicum of ambition.
>> No. 10195 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 2:48 pm
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>>10194

You still haven't addressed the issue of where all the people moving to these new estates will work? Even then you still need extra investment in schools hospitals etc.
>> No. 10196 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 3:07 pm
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>>10195
You do realise that houses are built to accommodate a growing population, not the other way around?
>> No. 10197 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 3:16 pm
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>>10194
I'm not sure you did really, it's still not clear to me from rereading your comment. Regardless, it would be extremely foolish for a Tory central government to apply too heavy a pressure to land owners and middle-class residents in order to build these council estates as these are precisely the people who make up the core of their voter base. If nothing else we've learnt from the recent turmoil Labour is going through that alienating your core voter base is not a good long-term strategy, even if you still win elections in the short term.

>cheap greenbelt
I'm assuming this was a typo but to clarify - designated green belt areas are designated as such to prevent them being built on.

As for the M62 corridor, that's all well and good but the cost of housing and rent in the north is already far lower than in the south, so really what we need to be focusing on is building affordable housing down south, particularly in and around London. I'm not saying that we shouldn't also build affordable housing elsewhere but that is where it is most desperately needed currently.

Having said all of this, I agree that these obstacles can and should be overcome. What I am trying to point out is that doing so is a lot more challenging than you make out, and that doing so comes with a great many additional issues to work around, not least the provision of jobs, services and transport.
>> No. 10198 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 3:24 pm
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>>10196
I should re-phrase that.

How are all the people who move into this affordable housing, going to get to the jobs they already have?
Long commutes back into towns and cities sort of negates the affordability.
>> No. 10199 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 5:13 pm
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>designated green belt areas are designated as such to prevent them being built on

Well, yes. The question is what purpose that restriction serves. The Town and Country Planning Association argue that it is no longer fit for purpose. This restriction could disappear with the stroke of a pen, and frequently does when it's politically convenient.

>>10198

Perfectly easily. Call up Google Maps and switch to satellite view. Have a look at the M62 between J10 and J12. Massive amounts of land within easy reach of the motorway and most of it within walking distance of a train station. There are dozens of areas like this, serving pretty much every city outside of London.

I'd argue that we should be developing the economies of secondary cities rather than continuing to pile the pressure onto London, but it's still eminently possible to find good sites for development within the London commuter belt. Head south on the train and you'll find dozens of tiny villages within 30-40 minutes of central London. Many of them are within Zone 6. Is arable farming really a sensible use of this vast area of land? We can considerably shorten a lot of those journey times and increase throughput through the implementation of moving block signalling.
>> No. 10200 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 5:28 pm
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>>10199
>Is arable farming really a sensible use of this vast area of land?
Yeah, it's not like we need food and other plant products or anything.
>> No. 10202 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 5:50 pm
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>>10200

We're already long past the point of agricultural self-sufficiency mate, all our famers grow now is rapeseed.
>> No. 10203 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 6:34 pm
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>>10202

We don't have farms any more, just carefully-honed subsidy magnets. 60% of farm revenue in this country comes from subsidy. In many cases, farmers are being paid not to farm - we've scrapped the set-aside scheme, but environmental subsidies have largely the same effect.

Farming in the home counties is as daft as farming in Hong Kong or Monaco. Giving up a negligible amount of agricultural output would provide affordable homes to hundreds of thousands of people.

It's not about food, it's about wealthy people having a nice view at the expense of young renters.
>> No. 10204 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:09 pm
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I finished uni and had an interview for a good job. The interview went well but they said I come second despite impressing them hugely. They were really positive about my interview and said the only reason it didn't go to me was simply lack of experience as another candidate had 5-10 years.

I shortly after interviewed for another job, which was slightly better. Great boss, not bad pay, easy work load, more presitigious than job A.

Unforunately, it's only a one year contract and whilst my boss is trying to find a way for me to stay, it hangs in the balance as the person whose job I took is returning from secondment and there wouldn't really be room in the team for me.

The first job I interviewed for but didn't get recently got in touch to ask me if I'd like to interview for them (and I get the feeling are very keen to rubber stamp me and get me in the door) and take up a permanent position.

I'd obviously love to stay in my current job, but would take the slightly worse job if it means I'm guaranteed a wage in 6 months time.
I was going to speak to my boss at work and explain that I'd be invited for an interview at a job I'd previously been interviewed for and just gently ask whether or not it was likely I'd get a full time role there. I will obviously throw in the whole 'I'd choose this place anytime' etc.
My boss is a great guy, he's given me great chances and has shown real faith in me and I have a lot of respect for him, but I don't want to upset him and make him think I'm looking to jump ship or making a thinly veiled threat about securing other work so he must hurry up with finding room for me in the team.

Should I ask him if my contract is likely to be rewned and that if not I would take the more permanent job or is this just a terrible idea?
>> No. 10205 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:18 pm
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The light in the gents toilet on the floor below has gone but nobody there has bothered organising to get someone to fix it, so they've started using our toilet instead. One of them has bowel trouble and our toilet is only small so the smell has little room to dissipate, especially when they don't bother using the air freshener in there. Also, one of them broke the toilet seat and decided to place it back on top and say nothing, so the next person to sit on it slid off.

>>10204
If it's any help I started my job on a temporary six month contract and I'm still here over 5 years later.
>> No. 10206 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 8:34 pm
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>>10204
>Unforunately, it's only a one year contract and whilst my boss is trying to find a way for me to stay, it hangs in the balance as the person whose job I took is returning from secondment and there wouldn't really be room in the team for me.
I've been there. If you're competent at your job (especially if you're more competent than your co-workers), they'll find a way to keep you on.

If your boss is as decent a bloke as you make him sound, he'll understand your position. Make it clear that your job makes you happy and suits you and you want to stay, first and foremost, and then segue into your concerns about your contract running out, the practicality of needing guaranteed income, and be honest about your fears of becoming unemployed. I'd suggest talking to him about this sooner rather than later, as that gives him wiggle room to talk to HR and find a way to extend your contract/create a new "temporary" post as a paid intern, or whatever. These things are probably a lot more fluid than you think. Don't ask outright for a permanent post as that's not something he's likely to be able to guarantee.

(Pleasantries aside, if you're easily replaceable and coasting on an "easy workload" then jump ship.)
>> No. 10207 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 2:04 pm
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Some cock decided to shit all over our team demanding we do some shit for them immediately. I replied telling them why they couldn't really do this. As I leave for a hospital appointment this morning, I check my calendar and there's a meeting set up for this afternoon. As I get back from the hospital, I find out in those few hours someone else on the team has gone behind my back and capitulated, rendering the meeting pointless. As a result, I now look like a dick for actually trying to do my fucking job properly.

Cunts, the lot of them.
>> No. 10208 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 5:53 pm
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>>10207
Is this person a subordinate that you can tear a new arsehole?
>> No. 10209 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 7:28 pm
10209 spacer
CONFERENCE CALL? BETTER SPEND THE ENTIRE TIME BREATHING HEAVILY INTO THE PHONE LIKE A SEX PEST!
>> No. 10210 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 8:50 pm
10210 spacer
>>10209

I can't help it if quarterly sales reports make me horny.
>> No. 10211 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 9:06 pm
10211 spacer
The last conference call I was on I could hear someone playing Candy Crush in the background. Not that I blame them, I was browsing Facebook and leaving it up to a secretary to take notes. They should have had the nouse to mute the sound though.
>> No. 10212 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 9:13 pm
10212 spacer
>>10211
The last conference call I was on I was sat there for almost 30 minutes doing fuck all, because apparently nobody in the on-site meeting had remembered (nor heeded my reminder) to dial in the fucking phone in the meeting room.
>> No. 10213 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 10:39 pm
10213 spacer
They've started using video for our 8am conferences. I'm trying to decide if I'm essential enough to just carry on with my usual conference call position of lying in bed with my hands down my pants watching Everybody Loves Raymond with the sound off.
>> No. 10214 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 10:39 pm
10214 spacer
They've started using video for our 8am conferences. I'm trying to decide if I'm essential enough to just carry on with my usual conference call position of lying in bed with my hands down my pants watching Everybody Loves Raymond with the sound off.
>> No. 10215 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 10:50 pm
10215 spacer
I can't fucking stand it lads.

Too many wankers demand a meeting or conference call to talk shit. It all feels so fake and pretence like I genuinely can't feign enthusiasm.

People keep feeding back to my manager that I seem disinterested in meetings, but I just can't pretend I care whilst people talk shit to try and justify their job.

As Thom Yorke put it


>Karma police, arrest this man, he talks in maths and he buzzes like a fridge, he's like a detuned radio.
>Karma police, arrest this girl, her Hitler hairdo is making me feel ill.

Couldn't sum up how I feel any better.
>> No. 10216 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 11:03 pm
10216 spacer
>>10215

Pretend you're playing a game. A weird, boring, kafkaesque game, but a game nonetheless. Forget about whether it means anything, just play it to the best of your ability. That mindset can keep you sane even in the worst situations.
>> No. 10217 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 7:32 am
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dorismain.jpg
102171021710217
>>10213
>with my hands down my pants watching Everybody Loves Raymond

Fucking savage.
>> No. 10218 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 9:11 am
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image.jpg
102181021810218
>>10217

Or even.
>> No. 10219 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 5:29 pm
10219 spacer
Stupid cunts who are oblivious to their own stupidity.

Was either this thread or the minor rant /101/ thread but some people I have to work with make me wonder how they manage to get themselves to work everyday.
>> No. 10220 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 3:25 pm
10220 spacer
I find it hard to drink water at work. I become aware that I'm drinking, a bit like when you breathe manually, and then I become too conscious that I'm going to gulp ridiculously loud.
>> No. 10221 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 4:23 pm
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>>10215
Can you do something nasty to them? Grass on them for whatever minor misconduct.
>> No. 10222 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 6:44 pm
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>>10220

That's the most insane thing I've ever read. Well done?
>> No. 10223 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 7:03 pm
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>>10219

I've found that stupid cuntery has increased in the past 10 - 15 years, no correlation with advances in technology.....

People just don't think and just push buttons & jab at smartphones, or are full of bullshit which reciprocates endlessly.

Human evolution ended in 1995. We've become a re g ressive species.
>> No. 10224 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 7:21 pm
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>>10222
Once you become conscious of something and you're aware of it each time it happens it's hard to snap out of it again.
>> No. 10226 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 7:40 pm
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>>10224

Guilt gulping? Nobody can hear you.

Unlike a stifled fart, which you try to keep in but explodes like a thunderous angry elephant trumpet.
>> No. 10230 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 7:54 pm
10230 spacer
>>10226
Oh, they can. Just like some people eat audibly, some people drink audibly. Admittedly the latter is less common but it certainly happens.
>> No. 10231 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 7:56 pm
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>>10230

I don't know if I've posted this before, but my first office job seemed to revolve mainly around trying to hold in my farts for hours at a time.
>> No. 10233 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 9:14 pm
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>>10231

Dirty, dirty girl. The smell of your Kipper front bum trumps has made us join a union.

Your workmates.
>> No. 10235 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 9:18 pm
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>>10233

Interesting you assumed I was female from that post. I'd happily join the union too if it meant being able to fuck off from my desk more regularly to fart.
>> No. 10239 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 9:59 pm
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>>10235

>Interesting you assumed I was female from that post

INo females are on .gs innit m7.
>> No. 10245 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 1:03 am
10245 spacer
As someone who isn't working an office job and won't do for a whole two weeks yet I can't help but confuse this for the minor complaints thread on /101/
>> No. 10246 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 6:20 am
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>>10239

That's not what I was getting at. I was just amused by the idea that there's something inherently feminine about issues with farting in the office.
>> No. 10248 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 7:52 am
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>>10245
There is the odd complaint from people who do, you know, proper jobs and also from those working in the likes of Tesco or Primary, too, in this thread.
>> No. 10249 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 8:27 am
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>>10246
Well it kind of is, since all I hear is women complaining about being bloated and special yoghurts to stop it.
>> No. 10250 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 10:50 am
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The IT department has changed everyone's login passwords and sent out the email with the password late on Friday. I was one of the people who can't access their email because they changed my password. I was unaware of the changes happening because I was out of the office Friday. So I have been twiddling my thumbs for the past couple of hours waiting someone to turn up with the login details.
>> No. 10251 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 5:32 pm
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I couldn't get on our back office system until around 9:10 this morning because Finance (I'm >>/b/404310) hadn't paid the bills again.
>> No. 10252 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 6:13 pm
10252 spacer
A doctor asked me on the phone today what the "best kind of antibiotic, in your experience" is for treating e. coli.

When I told her that that really isn't how it works and that she'd have to wait for sensitivity results, she scoffed as though I was just being wilfully obtuse and hung up.

Your lives are in their hands people.
>> No. 10253 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 7:09 pm
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>>10252

I try to tell myself my GP's just a stalwart professional, but sometimes it does look like boredom veering into outright indifference.
>> No. 10254 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 9:07 pm
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>>10252
Well done, lad. It wasn't as if they had a patient dying of E. coli or anything.
>> No. 10255 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 9:48 pm
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>>10254

The question is the medical equivalent of "in your experience, what are the best kind of tyres for a black car?". The question is ignorant and any answer would be useless.
>> No. 10256 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 12:04 am
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>>10255

Listen, Doc, while you're here. I have this lump on my bum that's really uncomfortable. I think its because I haven't showered in a couple of months. Should I to to a doctor about it?
>> No. 10257 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 12:35 am
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>>10252
>>10255
Can you elaborate? We're not all medical professionals.
>> No. 10258 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 8:08 am
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>>10257

You can't just throw antibiotics willy-nilly at infections these days, that's how we've ended up in the messy situation with MRSA and such- Bacteria are tough little cunts and they develop resistance to the drugs we use to treat them.

At best what that doctor was asking for would be a blind guess, not all strains of e coli are going to respond the same to the same drug; and at worst it would harm the patient in the long run after having an infection survive several courses of antibiotics and thus becoming harder to treat.
>> No. 10259 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 2:20 pm
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>>10258
This sounds very much like the sort of thing someone who has undertaken five or six years of medical education should be very keenly aware of.

I guess this is what happens when most of our half-decent doctors fuck off to countries where they can earn significantly more without working ridiculous shifts.
>> No. 10260 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 5:46 pm
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>>10108 here again.

Following last month's malware attack IT have installed some new antivirus software on our computers. It's a bit overzealous and blocks almost everything. If you visit a webpage then almost every image won't load.
>> No. 10261 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 5:46 pm
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>>10259

The problem is that education for a GP in our country is pretty much just to memorise the textbooks their university gives them, and then they're qualified for life.
>> No. 10262 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 5:54 pm
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>>10261
In order to call themselves a GP, a doctor needs somewhere around 6-8 years PQE, and the progression is similar to that of a hospital consultant, the main difference being that they can get out of a hospital any time after their foundation stage.
>> No. 10263 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 6:13 pm
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>>10261
>>10262

I think the problem is more that the sort of person who becomes a GP, is the sort of person who could have been literally any other kind of doctor, and either failed or couldn't be fucked.

You spend half your day talking to old cunts about their disgusting toenails, and the other half chasing up the lab for mistakes that wouldn't have happened were it not for you pawning important tasks off onto your thick as pigshit reception staff.

Not bitter.
>> No. 10264 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 6:28 pm
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>>10263
So in other words, they're failed doctors, but not as bad as pharmacists?
>> No. 10265 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 7:52 pm
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>>10264

In fairness, a lot of women choose general practice because the hours are shorter and more flexible than other specialisms. Being a radiologist or an anaesthetist might pay better, but you can forget about trying to have a family life.
>> No. 10266 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 10:07 pm
10266 spacer
>>10265
>In fairness, a lot of women choose general practice because the hours are shorter and more flexible than other specialisms.
I would imagine that's a lot of people, full stop. If I had the option of 90-hour weeks doing a job that is both physically and mentally demanding or 40-hour weeks in relative security while still earning around £100k, then for me taking the latter would be a no-brainer.
>> No. 10275 Anonymous
9th August 2016
Tuesday 6:24 pm
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I've started working with one of the senior directors of the company, which is great. The only problem is her number two. He's constantly sending me condescending emails, telling me to make sure I'm doing things that are par for the course with my role anyway and don't need pointing out to me. Anyway, today I made a slight mistake as they record things differently and I didn't realise I needed to choose something from a drop down menu first before ticking a box as, if you do it the other way round, it ends up removing the tick. Instead of an email saying something like "I noticed you didn't do [x], so I've sorted it this time but next time you need to do it like this..." I got a long-winded accusatory email questioning what I'd done like that way for, which would have taken him ten times longer than just correcting it himself.
>> No. 10276 Anonymous
10th August 2016
Wednesday 10:04 pm
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>>10275

I regularly question why departments and distant colleagues like to be at war with one a-fucking-nother.
>> No. 10280 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 1:10 am
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>>10276
Happens organically - teams have different goals that run orthogonal to each other but at the same time need the cooperation of others. Add in executive meddling and flavour of the month policies and you've got one hell of a potent mix.
>> No. 10281 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 1:15 am
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>>10280
Im about to start working in quality assurance and have no doubt that the people doing real work will hate me for making sure they tick the boxes.
>> No. 10282 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 1:39 am
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>>10281
How did you get into it?

>>10275
Take it on the chin and wait for him to mess up so that you can fuck him over.
>> No. 10283 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 1:53 am
10283 spacer
>>10282
Accident.
>> No. 10288 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 5:06 am
10288 spacer
>>10275
If you're more qualified, or otherwise a threat to his position, he's probably trying to get as much dirt against you as possible, so that where possible, he can reel off a few of your past "failings", to secure his position.

I've worked with people like this before and the only thing you can do is to make a point of being as polite towards them as possible, via email but especially in meetings and in the office. Keep a record of any of his emails that could be construed as harassment or blatantly unwarranted criticism if you think there's a real chance he's playing that game. You want it to be that you're "the reasonable one" rather than "those two just don't get along" if he decides to make it into an issue; that makes you both look bad, and he has rank.

Also, chances are that a secretary or two have the senior's ear, and you would not believe the difference that can make. Always, always be friendly to secretaries, even if they're utter cunts.

(Fuck office politics.)
>> No. 10289 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 9:55 pm
10289 spacer
>>10288

I tend to find sometimes it's not even this, just that some people are genuinely just cunts.

I got absolutely bollocked the other day because there's this woman who is notoriously unhelpful and even when her seniors ask her to do something for other teams she acts self righteous and always has to object or be passive aggressive emailing around about it.

Her position isn't under threat and people she could easily help she simply refuses to.

I lost my rag when she moaned at me passive aggressively in an email chain for asking her to do something my senior had asked me to ask her to do. Of course she responded being a cunt so I just typed what I thought would be liberating.

'Why, why are you so difficult?' with some people CC'd in.

Anyway it didn't go down romantically at all and I got a lot of shit fired at me and it was nothing like the films.

Point is, some people genuinely have miserable lives or are just miserable cunts, and rather than see the company as a team, they see everybody as the enemy and have to try and make everybody as miserable as they are.
>> No. 10290 Anonymous
12th August 2016
Friday 2:17 am
10290 spacer
>>10289
>I lost my rag
And that's when you became "the cunt" in the situation, and she won. I'm not saying you're a cunt, but learn the lesson, eh.

And yeah, you will likely have to deal with people like this if you work in an office. Their only source of excitement, feeling of power, is in that behaviour - stirring up gossip or being bossy. There's literally nothing you can do about these individuals; their life is shit, they're stuck in a dull job they hate, deep down they know it, and they're taking it out on everyone else. Just keep your head down and get on with it.
>> No. 10291 Anonymous
12th August 2016
Friday 7:19 am
10291 spacer
>>10288
>If you're more qualified, or otherwise a threat to his position

I've no interest in trying to take his job, but I have heard that he's a bit of a brown noser but his nose has been put out of joint because the Director has taken a bit of a shine to me as she specifically chose me for this work. There's been a few times when he's tried to 'put me in my place' by attempting to show off his superior technical knowledge to me in front of her, but quite a few times he's been wrong (others have told me that he isn't anywhere near as good as he acts and makes himself out to be) and I've had no reservations about correcting him, which probably doesn't help matters either.
>> No. 10293 Anonymous
12th August 2016
Friday 1:07 pm
10293 spacer
I legitimately pity all of you officelads. You might earn more than me, have nicer cars and more fulfilled love lives, but truly I am grateful that at least I don't have to spend the majority of my existence in one of those purgatorial waking nightmares.

I made a post earlier up the tread about being a terminally depressed office slacker, and getting out of there and into a more "meaningful" work has done my mental health more good than any therapy or happy pills ever could.
>> No. 10294 Anonymous
12th August 2016
Friday 3:06 pm
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>>10291
>the Director has taken a bit of a shine to me
That explains it.

>I've had no reservations about correcting him, which probably doesn't help matters either.
Do so politely. I know I'm repeating myself, but you really need to come off as the better man, and getting into arguments - especially if it's on technical matters that your senior director can't follow - won't get you anywhere good. Be courteous, and humble. If he's right (it'll happen occasionally), acknowledge it and agree. It's fucking hard, I know, but others will notice and appreciate your being level-headed, especially if the other party is being a dick. You don't have to back down, but seeing you steer towards a convivial discussion, rather than a confrontation, is something that managers love, as a rule. They don't tend to care about the details, they just want to know that it's going to get done, and done right, by people who are working together. If he's the one being an arrogant prick, let him stand out as such.
>> No. 10296 Anonymous
12th August 2016
Friday 9:29 pm
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>>10293
What do you do now?
>> No. 10297 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 1:20 am
10297 spacer
>>10296
Wank off bulls and rams for farmers, sometimes to control the breeding but mostly just to keep 'em calm. It's messy work but at least I'm outdoors and making the most of the real skills I learnt at uni.
>> No. 10298 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 8:18 am
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>>10297
Don't they shove some sort of stimulator up their arse these days instead of wanking them off?
>> No. 10299 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 8:25 am
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>>10298

What position do you think he plays in all of this?
>> No. 10300 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 9:34 am
10300 spacer
>>10299
The receptacle.
>> No. 10301 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 7:34 pm
10301 spacer
Fat people at work who are on a constant diet but eat shit anyway or pretend they go to the gym loads.

I'm skinny but I don't pretend I just lifted a PB everyday before I go to the office.

This really winds me up for some reason. Everybody knows they're talking shit but society makes us too polite to call them out.
>> No. 10302 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 7:49 pm
10302 spacer
Marketing don't know the difference between its and it's. They keep publishing documents, including ones going to clients and potential clients, where they keep using it's when they should have used its.
>> No. 10303 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 7:58 pm
10303 spacer
>>10302
I fucking hate marketing. I'd literally fire them all at my work.

There's about 8 of them. They don't actually design stuff, we tell them what we want and they tell a separate design company who design it and send it back.

They use bullshit terms like 'thought shower' and 'idea nurturing' and talk a load of shit/ call unnecessary meetings to make themselves seem busier than they need to be.

It makes me irrationally angry. Come the next company review I can guarantee they'll chop half of them.
>> No. 10304 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 8:07 pm
10304 spacer
>>10303
Same at ours, everything is outsourced to an external design agency. I literally have no idea what they do all week. They were meant to give our office LinkedIn in training, for some inexplicable reason, but they keep fobbing people off with how busy they are.
>> No. 10305 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 8:39 pm
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>>10304

Hopfully there's a lad here somewhere who can explain this. I've always wanted to ask them but can't think how to without coming across as rude.

I'd genuinely like to ask 'if you just send what I send to you to an external agency, what do you actually do and why can't I do it myself?'
>> No. 10306 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 8:45 pm
10306 spacer
>>10305
Personally I'd rather know how I can land a job where I can earn a good salary basically spending a few hours of my week justifying my existence but otherwise doing fuck all, because that sounds like the sort of thing I could really excel at. Double points if I basically get no core hours and 90%+ remote.
>> No. 10307 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 9:20 pm
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I think our company's social media "guru" is the biggest lazy fucker who works for us. He makes one or two Facebook posts a day and emails any complaints from Twitter or FB to the customer services department. I saw him poncing about in a scarf today, it's been 24 degrees outside and I've sweated through a short sleeve shirt by midday. Then he's walking around in a waistcoat and a scarf, never mind his trilby. Picture your classic social media hipster wanker and he suits that downn to a tee.
>> No. 10308 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 9:23 pm
10308 spacer
>>10307

God I'm so fucking jealous, what a job.

To be fair, I would have dismissed out social media guru, but she's actualyl really fucking good and when I sat down with her for an hour to see what sort of stuff she does I left actually impressed and completely understanding as to why companies hire these people.
>> No. 10309 Anonymous
16th August 2016
Tuesday 10:06 pm
10309 spacer
>>10308
>completely understanding as to why companies hire these people.

Go on, lad, tell us the secret of the black magic box.
>> No. 10310 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 7:43 am
10310 spacer
>>10309
Person hired to be personable, plausible, reassuring and convincing on social media turns out to be much the same in reality.
>> No. 10311 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 5:47 pm
10311 spacer
Fucking cheapass Cisco VOIP phones. It's bad enough that I can barely hear shit, but it decided to tell me this afternoon that someone left me a voicemail yesterday morning.
>> No. 10312 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 8:33 pm
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I've been asked by somebody who gets paid over a million pound a year to do something, with that wage, you guessed, they're quite important.

Some middle aged bint is purposefully being obstructive, but I don't understand why.

Not only is she giving me a massive headache but eventually the important person on over a million a year is gonna get pissed.

I can't understand this mentality of some people at work who purposefully try and make things difficult. Why? Just why?
>> No. 10313 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:07 pm
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>>10305
I work in the "marketing" department in a small company. There are four of us. We all do fuck all. Self important cunts who take their shitty pen-pushing jobs way too seriously send us stuff, and we polish it and forward the order to a design company. They send it back to us, and we give it to the self-absorbed cunts who keep talking about how busy they are everyday, we give it to them.

Most of the time they are all angry because we get paid the same but they are unhappy and we are not. Get a job you enjoy next time and stop talking about just how busy your week has been. I have to act extra busy just to avoid talking to you cunts.
>> No. 10314 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:08 pm
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>>10312
It's interesting that you repeatedly refer to this person as important not because of what they do or the position they hold but because of how much they earn. If Wayne Rooney asked me to do something for him I wouldn't consider it a great honour.

I'm assuming you are doing this in a work situation, so just make sure the bint knows that the Area Manager/CEO/Wayne Rooney or whoever will be pissed directly at them if she doesn't comply.
>> No. 10315 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:09 pm
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>>10312
>with that wage, you guessed, they're quite important.
That depends on your definition of "important".
>> No. 10316 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:10 pm
10316 spacer
>>10312
The bint is smart. She knows that you are annoying her because you want to brown nose some lad who earns over a million a year. I would do the same to you. I really hate people like you.
>> No. 10317 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:31 pm
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>>10316
>>10314

So I'm guessing none of you actually have proper jobs in a corporate company then?

Usually they pay people over a million quid because what they do is very valuable and they're very important. Entry level admin assistants don't start on one million quid and directors don't take home 15k a year. Stop trying to shoehorn some moral point in about how money doesn't always equate with effort or skill.

If by brown nosing you mean, doing what I'm told by very senior people so I keep my job, then yes, I plead guilty.
>> No. 10319 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:43 pm
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>>10317
https://youtu.be/WIQy0oI6Ijc?t=43
>> No. 10320 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:54 pm
10320 spacer
>>10317
>Usually they pay people over a million quid because what they do is very valuable and they're very important.
I guess you must one of those entry level admin assistants if you're that naive. It's been shown that once you get beyond the low six-figure range the relation between competence/performance and compensation/job security breaks down entirely. In particular, studies have shown that at the executive level, those with the highest pay packets tend to be the least productive.
>> No. 10321 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:54 pm
10321 spacer
>>10317

> So I'm guessing none of you actually have proper jobs in a corporate company then?

> Stop trying to shoehorn some moral point in about how money doesn't always equate with effort or skill.

Our new student overlords, ladm8.
>> No. 10322 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:06 pm
10322 spacer
>>10320
Are you a bit autistic or something?

The whole point is that it's somebody in the company whose very important and in a high position. Nobody needs your stats and studies.

Fuck me.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 10323 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:17 pm
10323 spacer
>>10322
Mate, you're the one who insisted on making a point that they must be important because they get paid a lot.
>> No. 10324 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:20 pm
10324 spacer
>>10323

I don't think you understand lad. The implication is that he's important because he gets paid a lot. Companies tend to pay people lots of money when they're valuable to the company and a million pound a year or more is a lot of money, which means they're probably quite senior.

Nobody is arguing whether or not he really deserves a million pound a year or whether he's the corporate equivalent of Wayne Rooney.

I can't imagine being that thick and unable to understand the point.
>> No. 10325 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:44 pm
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>>10324
That's all true, I just find it interesting why you would say multiple times that he is important because of what he earns rather than saying that he's important because he's a senior figure in the company. Most of the time one implies the other yes, it's just an odd and slightly American tendency to lead with the salary rather than the position.
>> No. 10326 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:45 pm
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>>10324
Bill Gates used to pay himself one dollar.
>> No. 10327 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:51 pm
10327 spacer
>>10324
>Companies tend to pay people lots of money when they're valuable to the company
You really seem to be having difficulty grasping your misapprehension here.
>> No. 10328 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 11:05 pm
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So what if someone is a director? You don't have to put them on a fucking pedestal and get yourself wrapped up in what they've asked you to do. Have a bit of self respect and don't start tugging your forelocks at them. Nothing worse than a brown noser
/spineless subservient groveller.

Christ, must be a wet behind the ears graduate.
>> No. 10329 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 11:20 pm
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>>10328
In what world do you live in where a company director asks you to do something and you tell them to fuck off?

It doesn't happen. You're all either dreaming, unemployed, or really shit trolls
>> No. 10330 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 11:26 pm
10330 spacer
>>10329
In what world do you live in where a company director bypasses the chain of command and tells people that don't report to him what to do?
>> No. 10331 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 11:26 pm
10331 spacer
>>10329
You don't tell them to fuck off, you tell them that'll you'll do your best but are afraid that might not be possible because x, with x ideally being something that you have no responsibility over whatsoever..
>> No. 10332 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 11:59 pm
10332 spacer
>>10329
I am >>10275. I work with some of the most senior people within my company, including several directors and the chief executive, because my reputation means they specifically ask for me by name.

This is not a reputation which has been built up by being a bootlicker. The relationship I have with these people is built upon mutual respect, they're more senior than I am but that doesn't mean I will drop everything for them (unless the situation truly calls for it), act like their little bitch or wank myself off over how important working for them must make me.

In short, if you're prepared to stand your ground with these people (NB: not telling them to get fucked) and you have the abilities to back this up then they will respect you for this, far more than if you try and tongue their sphincter. If you have a problem with someone else preventing you from doing your job then actually try and deal with it, but without whining and working yourself up because of where the instructions came from because that will get you absolutely nowhere with this kind of woman as she can see what a massive fanny you're being.
>> No. 10333 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 1:25 am
10333 spacer
This lad is constantly being accused of brown-nosing and yet I don't see anything in his posts to suggest that; only that the person 'deserves respect' by virtue of their salary and/or status, which while arguably naive, doesn't necessarily mean he is following their instructions in order to make them feel wonderful and himself rewarded.
>> No. 10334 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 6:45 am
10334 spacer
>>10331
>>10330

Honestly, it's like you don't live in the real world.

I can't imagine a company, nor situation where somebody at the very top doesn't ask for something and it doesn't get done.

I don't know what kind of jobs you'd have, but I'd love to be able to turn around and say 'no, sorry it's not possible'. It just doesn't cut the mustard here.
>> No. 10335 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 9:41 am
10335 spacer
>>10334
Have you considered working for a company that doesn't consider you to be a slave?

Management structures exist for a reason. I don't do what my directors tell me to do because I don't report to them. If they want me to do things for them, they need to go through the proper channels just like those idiots in another department who think it's okay to call me directly when my manager has already told them where to go.
>> No. 10336 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 3:39 pm
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>>10293

What do you do? I basically want something more physically demanding.
>> No. 10337 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 3:44 pm
10337 spacer
>>10336

Seconded. I spend my weekdays in an office and pay for the privilege of lifting heavy weights. My life would improve hugely if I could just get paid to move stuff on weekends.
>> No. 10338 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 3:59 pm
10338 spacer
>>10337
You'd think so, but physically demanding labour is a very different beast from exercise you can structure yourself. In my experience anyway.
>> No. 10339 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 6:12 pm
10339 spacer
>>10335

Where do you work, Google?

I don't get treated like a slave, it's a great place to work, but there is a basic understanding that senior people tell less senior people what to do and it gets done - particularly when hundreds of millions of pounds are on the line.

If that isn't how it works at your place, how does it?
>> No. 10340 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 6:36 pm
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>>10339
The way it works at my place is the way it works in pretty much anywhere with more than a handful of people, except seemingly at your place. Senior people tell less senior people who report to them what to do and it gets done. In most organisations it's generally considered bad form to tell someone else's team what to do.
>> No. 10341 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 6:48 pm
10341 spacer
>>10340
>The way it works at my place is the way it works in pretty much anywhere with more than a handful of people

Just how many different places have you worked at?

I agree it's not the best way to run a company, but it happens often enough.
>> No. 10342 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 7:56 pm
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>>10340

Yes but this guy needs help sorting a deal worth literally hundreds of millions. He's told my boss he needs my help, but my boss isn't going to say no when it's obviously so big for the company.

I feel like you're winding me up. Would your boss really be that petty when such money was on the line ?

On a side note I don't get paid nearly enough to make up for the stress that if this goes wrong a lot of money is at stake.
>> No. 10343 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 7:59 pm
10343 spacer
>>10341
>>10342

Maybe, just maybe, different industries have different standards and conventions regarding this sort of thing.
>> No. 10344 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:07 pm
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>>10342
>this guy needs help sorting a deal worth literally hundreds of millions.

Are you telling me that a deal worth hundreds of millions is on the line because you can't get some middle aged woman to co-operate with you?
>> No. 10345 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:16 pm
10345 spacer
>>10344

Yes, hence my bitching and me saying how ridiculous it was that she was purposefully cocking this up and making it difficult when she's gonna get a boot up her arse for somebody more senior when I inevitably go 'can't be done, the middle aged bint has sabotaged it, see her'.
>> No. 10346 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:22 pm
10346 spacer
>>10345
That wouldn't look good on you, either. Always come with a solution or ask how it should be put right rather than going to them with a problem.
>> No. 10347 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:26 pm
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>>10345
Oh, how naive of you. Here's what's actually going to happen. The senior person is going to pay her a visit. She's going to purr like a kitten, all the while pointing the finger at that awful man who keeps harassing her and making inappropriate requests of her (that's you). The senior person is going to conclude that either you were an awful person or that you can't be all that good if you couldn't even find the levers to bring her into line. Either way, you're probably the one that'll catch the flak.
>> No. 10348 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:28 pm
10348 spacer
>>10346
>ask how it should be put right rather than going to them with a problem
Isn't that the same thing?
>> No. 10349 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:32 pm
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>>10342
>He's told my boss he needs my help, but my boss isn't going to say no when it's obviously so big for the company.
Hopefully your boss is going to say yes or no based on his own judgment, rather than the seniority of the person asking or the money involved. If there are hundreds of millions on the line, then hopefully your boss appreciates the costs of fucking up.

Right now I'm dealing with the fallout of someone relatively senior deciding to just ignore the established channels and pressure my team into doing something. I declined, and gave sound reasons for doing so, but someone else on my team caved. Not only has this blown up in the senior person's face, but it's done so in exactly the way I warned them about when declining their request. Though in our case the risk isn't so much massive sums of money but rather people's lives, and the senior person can at least console themselves that they didn't manage to endanger any in the end, but merely managed to piss off about a dozen people who are considerably better paid.
>> No. 10350 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:33 pm
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>>10348
More-or-less. It depends entirely on how you frame it. I've worked with some difficult managers and saying "we have a problem, how do we put it right?" goes down an awful lot better than just "we have a problem".
>> No. 10351 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:35 pm
10351 spacer
>>10346
>>10347
Again, the more you all talk shit, the more I start to think you don't actually work in these kind of jobs. This isn't a sitcom where something looks bad on me and I chase the manager going 'wait I can explain!' as he angrily walks out the door before never speaking to me again and getting me fired rather than me simply explaining.

She's purposefully concealing information we all know she has and holding up a process by being generally unhelpful. When plan A doesn't happen because she won't do her part, I'll just say she simply refused what to do what she is trained to do.

It can't and won't look bad on me, but it just adds more stress as she can do it now in good time, or she can have me get the senior guy bollock her, but nobody wants that.

Again, hence me expressing bewilderment at her actions. I think you lads missed the point and bizarrely for doing my job I'm a slave and at the only company anybody here has worked at with a hierarchy.
>> No. 10352 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:40 pm
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>>10351
>It can't and won't look bad on me

Yes, lad. Yes it can. Regardless of her being stubborn, your lack of ability to get the information you need out of her can go down badly for you.
>> No. 10353 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 8:58 pm
10353 spacer
>>10351
>Again, the more you all talk shit, the more I start to think you don't actually work in these kind of jobs.
I find it hilarious that you can somehow come up with this while at the same time saying you're basically going to walk into the bigwig's office empty-handed other than a poor excuse but expect that it "can't and won't look bad on me".
>> No. 10354 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 9:07 pm
10354 spacer
>>10353
But that's not been said has it?

> she can do it now in good time, or she can have me get the senior guy bollock her, but nobody wants that.
>> No. 10355 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 9:07 pm
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>>10353

Lad. You don't get it. Just because he's been specifically tasked with something doesn't mean that the buck is going to stop with him when it hasn't been done. Oh, wait...
>> No. 10356 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 9:12 pm
10356 spacer
>>10353
>>10355

According to some of you lads, you can just get your manager to tell him to fuck off anyway can't you, because he's not directly the manager so that's how it works?
>> No. 10357 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 9:22 pm
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>>10356
The golden rule of work is always cover your arse. Always. What we have here is a young lad who is a bit naive who thinks this cannot come back and bite him on the arse when a) he's showing that he doesn't have the skill to get the necessary information from the bint and b) he knows there's a problem now but he isn't doing anything about it. He may come out of this absolutely fine, but there's a more than minute chance he couldn't and they'll see him as weak and not someone to rely on when it truly matters. Enough of a chance that his arse should be covered. This is a rookie mistake. You can guarantee said bint will have her arse well and truly covered by the time the shit hits the fan.
>> No. 10358 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 9:34 pm
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>>10357
I'm not him, but lad you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You've concocted a wild fantasy about this guys job based on random assumptions you've pulled out of your arse, and based on the small bit of information he has given us your assumptions are completely wrong.
>> No. 10359 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 9:59 pm
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>>10358
>You've concocted a wild fantasy about this guys job based on random assumptions you've pulled out of your arse
I know, right? How silly to assume that using someone else as an excuse could possibly have any negative consequences for him.
>> No. 10360 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 10:07 pm
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>>10358
You always cover your arse, it's the golden rule. If this woman is in a position to effectively tell people to fuck off and not give them information they need to do their job then, on the balance of probabilities, it's reasonable she knows every trick in the book to get away with behaving like this and will have her arse covered. If it goes tits up then you've got no chance of coming out of it better than her unless you're suitably prepared rather than just a naive assumption that it "can't and won't" look bad on you.
>> No. 10361 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 10:26 pm
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>>10358

If there was ever confirmation that this board is largely packed with 'know it all' students who like to ponder what life is actually like beyond graduation and supercilious nobheads who aren't as important as they think they are at their job, the last few posts in this thread were it. Embarrassing.

'But when the boss goes in and that woman seduces him, you're gonna get in shit. But why don't you do what we'd do at my company and say "I don't directly report to you, so get fucked or speak to my manager yourself", that's totally what I'd do. Anyway, yeah, this boss is gonna be pissed and totally fire you because somebody is acting unreasonably beyond your control who is necessary and conducive for success. Take it from me, I definitely know.'
>> No. 10362 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 11:01 pm
10362 spacer
>>10361
Yeah, clearly they don't know what they're talking about. Naivelad's just going to go to the boss, say he hasn't got anything because of this woman, ask the boss to give her a bollocking, and the boss will of course just accept all of this and dish out the bollocking as requested. Because apparently turning up to someone who earns rather a lot of money using someone else as an excuse is perfectly acceptable. Then the two of them will ride off into the sunset and live happily ever.

Has Naivelad stopped to consider that maybe the big boss knows full well that this bint is obstructive and that the real purpose of the task was to get her to co-operate? From his description, she sounds exactly like the manipulative sort who can get away with that behaviour precisely because she can always make it look like the other party's fault.

Instructive quote from upthread:
>>10332
>If you have a problem with someone else preventing you from doing your job then actually try and deal with it, but without whining and working yourself up because of where the instructions came from because that will get you absolutely nowhere with this kind of woman as she can see what a massive fanny you're being.
>> No. 10363 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 11:40 pm
10363 spacer
>>10362
Imagine making stuff up to suit an agenda you've planned out in your head about people you don't even know and then posting it on an online forum.

N1 m8, sure showed you're the master of office politics.
>> No. 10364 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 12:05 am
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I think everyone in this thread is being a dick now. You're all steadfastly refusing to acknowledge the others' point of view.
>> No. 10365 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 12:07 am
10365 spacer
>>10363
>Imagine making stuff up to suit an agenda you've planned out in your head about people you don't even know and then posting it on an online forum.
I wouldn't know. Have you tried asking the poster of >>10361? He sounds like the kind of person who'd know more about that sort of thing.
>> No. 10369 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 8:00 am
10369 spacer
>>10364
Agreed.
>> No. 10370 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 8:44 am
10370 spacer
>>10365

Haha that was really witty well done.
>> No. 10371 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 12:29 pm
10371 spacer
Surely it all depends on how forelocklad acts in response to this useless bint? If he goes back to the bosssman and says that he's made progress but is being blocked by the bint, maybe he'll apply some of the seven-figure salary grade pressure directly to the bint. Whereas if forelocklad waits until everything goes tits up and points his finger at the bint obviously that isn't going to go well for him.

It seems a lot of people in this thread have assumed the latter, with seemingly little reason to.
>> No. 10372 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 12:46 pm
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>>8619
I know this post was over a year ago, but I've just started using Cadence, and I feel your pain. It's fucking awful. For the cost of a luxury car, you'd expect it to be better than this.
>> No. 10373 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 12:51 pm
10373 spacer
>>10371
>It seems a lot of people in this thread have assumed the latter, with seemingly little reason to.

As well as assuming other thing like the absence of some sort of paper-trail, and assuming that the existing reputations of the people involved wont affect the outcome.
>> No. 10374 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 12:59 pm
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>>10371
The first suggestion is exactly what's happened so far and will continue to happen.

Everything else he's asked me to do has gone swimmingly bar her, hence my frustration and moan about her.

I'm not sure what lads want me to do with somebody who won't cooperate other than hypnotise her or torture her.

Thanks for actually having a reasoned approach, I've no idea why some lads flew off the handle with it.
>> No. 10375 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 1:01 pm
10375 spacer
>>10371
>It seems a lot of people in this thread have assumed the latter, with seemingly little reason to.
I think the assumption that he was going to wait for it to go tits-up comes from the fact that he's explicitly stated more than once that he was going to wait for it to go tits-up.
>> No. 10376 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 1:05 pm
10376 spacer
>>10375
Where?
>> No. 10377 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 1:10 pm
10377 spacer
>>10371
I think the way he's talked about the director has been interpreted by some on here as fawning and this, together with some of the language used by forelocklad giving the impression he's a wet behind the ears graduate, has managed to rile some people from the off and get their backs up.

I'd say that the fact he hasn't resolved the situation yet despite knowing there's been an issue for some time suggests he's going to wait until it all goes tits up, but I can't take much more of this. Is this seriously going to keep rolling until forelocklad's task is complete?
>> No. 10378 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 1:20 pm
10378 spacer
>>10376
>when she's gonna get a boot up her arse for somebody more senior when I inevitably go 'can't be done, the middle aged bint has sabotaged it, see her'.
>When plan A doesn't happen because she won't do her part, I'll just say she simply refused what to do what she is trained to do.
>> No. 10379 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 1:40 pm
10379 spacer
>>10377
How do you know it's been some time? I feel like people have just assumed things and filled in the blanks and then got angry about it from there.

>>10378
I don't know how you're reading it, but to me I read it as somebody talking about a specific part of a much bigger task, e.g. plan A being the preferred one but with work arounds without her.

Regardless, I'm not sure why everybody is getting so upset and caring so much, even when they know they're taking it the wrong way but still post as if they don't know better.

You lot can be weird sometimes.
>> No. 10380 Anonymous
21st August 2016
Sunday 1:49 am
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>You lot can be weird sometimes.

This is .gs ladm8. The Titanic of the internet. Welcome aboard.
>> No. 10381 Anonymous
23rd August 2016
Tuesday 12:34 am
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Oh, fuck. I've just started a new job and as of today they've just sprung an away day on me happening in two weeks' time. 8 hours of "team building" and "icebreaker" activities with people who wouldn't associate with each other under any circumstances if they weren't getting paid to do it, interspersed with presentations from everyone trying to justify their wages.

I'm only a support part-timer. I shouldn't have to be subject to this kind of torture.

Save me.
>> No. 10382 Anonymous
23rd August 2016
Tuesday 1:00 am
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>>10381
When they do the introductions and they ask you to come up with an interesting fact about yourself, point to a tree and fondly recall the time you strung up half a dozen people just over there. Then pause slightly before letting it down with a remark about how the dog was an awful fuck. If people are still staring at you, tell them how you were left with no choice after the incident with the phone and the baby's gentials.

They've ruined your day, so it's the least you could do in return.
>> No. 10383 Anonymous
23rd August 2016
Tuesday 1:13 am
10383 spacer
>>10382
Oh you naughty.
>> No. 10384 Anonymous
24th August 2016
Wednesday 7:43 am
10384 spacer
I've come back from a three month secondment to find that I'm swamped with work because my managers didn't think much of my stand-in, so they decided the best solution would be to stockpile work for the past two/three weeks until I came back so they wouldn't have to give it to him. Needless to say, a fair bit of that work has become urgent.

I got an email from the stand-in yesterday, passing back some work he'd forgotten to give me during the initial handover, with a noncommittal offer to help out. I said I'd appreciate some help, but he didn't respond again for two hours (and only because I'd chased him up on it) and that was to say he'd have to run it by our line manager as apparently she likes things like this running by her first, which is absolute bollocks and she's off this week until Thursday so it's a cop-out, really.
>> No. 10385 Anonymous
24th August 2016
Wednesday 1:35 pm
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>>10382

Turn a shit thing into a good thing. Whenever I have to go on these things I tend to (try to) flirt with the prettiest people there, eat all their food, and at least entertain the thought that the speakers have snuck in something of value into their presentations, just on the basis that they're human beings and they know this is a terrible exercise.
>> No. 10386 Anonymous
24th August 2016
Wednesday 8:51 pm
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>>10382
I'm shamed to say I only recognise one of those things happening here at britfa.gs.
>> No. 10387 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:24 pm
10387 spacer
On Monday, my manager came out of a shortlisting meeting saying the panel chair was surprised I hadn't applied for it. I told him I probably would have applied for it had I not been hearing about it for the first time right then.
>> No. 10388 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:27 pm
10388 spacer
>>10387
Mind-reading skills are absolutely vital in every modern British office.
>> No. 10389 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:32 pm
10389 spacer
>>10388
Truth if it were ever fucking said.

>>10385
Mate I'm trying but this sounds like my idea of corporate hell. So far I've been getting on with one of my new managers (the other is a complete doormat so I have no trouble with him) somewhat, and I have a suspicion that barely hidden under his surface is a similar sort of grim black humour I have as a result of our exasperation with the company we work for and the utter, groundshaking incompetence of everyone in HR but right now it's fucking terrifying when he turns his sarcasm on me. I feel the need to somehow outdo his expectations and become worthy of his praise, or at least to be considered good enough to never be the poor defenceless target of an eyerolling.

Oh, I've just worked it out: he's my mother. He reminds me far too much of my mother. That'll be it, then.
>> No. 10390 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:39 pm
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>>10388
I wouldn't have minded if it were an open position on the team, but it was a new post on a project I don't work on. The one person on the team who does work on it has been on leave for two weeks, and there was no mention of the post in our usual "state of the team" roundup at the end of the last team meeting. At that point, my manager was only too happy to mention the junior opening, the opening that I don't (yet) have the skills for, and the position above him that has been wanting for six months but he refuses to go for. But no mention of the post that would have effectively been a bump in rank and a pay rise for doing effectively the same sort of thing I'm already doing. The worst part is that I then opened up all the assessment materials and found that the interview was going to be exactly the same one they'd given me when I joined them last year, so I'd probably have walked it.
>> No. 10391 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 9:59 pm
10391 spacer
>>10390
Sounds like you've learned a valuable lesson about your manager.

I've probably mentioned it here before, but a manager of mine many years ago was caught giving bad references about excellent employees (her underlings) who were leaving for greener pastures, just so she wouldn't be inconvenienced by the hiring process of their replacement. One of the new bosses of my ex-colleague asked why he'd got this weirdly bad reference from a crazy-sounding woman. This happened more than once.

I call people cunts all the time but rarely mean it; that woman really was a grade A, genuine cunt.
>> No. 10392 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 1:46 pm
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I started my first full time job two weeks ago. I haven't yet been exposed to office politics. Also I have no idea how to get to know anybody.
>> No. 10393 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 3:06 pm
10393 spacer
>>10389
>Oh, I've just worked it out: he's my mother. He reminds me far too much of my mother. That'll be it, then.

.gs, you really do give me a good laugh now and then. All told, this might be my favourite thread on this website. A clique of imageboard shitposters versus the nightmarish corporate world.
>> No. 10394 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 3:27 pm
10394 spacer
>>10392

How are you finding it thus far?
>> No. 10395 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 3:36 pm
10395 spacer
>>10392
I think those last two sentences are related lad - my advice is keep it that way.
>> No. 10396 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 3:40 pm
10396 spacer
>>10394
Dull, I joined whilst everyone was on holiday plus those that were there were busy preparing for a site move. I've spent the last two weeks doing godawful e-learning nonsense. I get to actually do something next week thank God.
>> No. 10397 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 3:53 pm
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I've turned into a massive shit stirrer and I've absolutely no idea why. My office manager and my line manager (working in a different office as my job is 'centralised') have fallen out and no longer get on with one another. I'm quite close with both of them and in a trusted position, which I am now abusing for all it's worth. For whatever reason I've started adding fuel to the fire and have been relaying messages whenever one slags off the other, which has increased markedly since I've been involved. Last week I sent a one line email to my line manager saying that my office manager thinks she's been stepping on her toes and I got an 8 paragraph rant back, some of which was in caps. I don't know what I'm trying to get out of this.
>> No. 10398 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 3:56 pm
10398 spacer
>>10397
Get them both sacked and take their job.
>> No. 10399 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 4:07 pm
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>>10397

You're fueling rivalry between two of your seniors, using work email? Bloody hell lad.
>> No. 10400 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 5:02 pm
10400 spacer
>>10399
Yeah, it's a bit of a dangerous game but I don't think there'll be an repercussions unless they actually have a fight or something.
>> No. 10402 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 11:03 pm
10402 spacer
>>10400
You should actively encourage this, then when they get sacked, take the best job. Or blackmail.
>> No. 10403 Anonymous
28th August 2016
Sunday 1:20 pm
10403 spacer
>>10400
If either of them realise that you're playing them off and turn on you, or even just decide to shoot the messenger, you will really fucking regret your playing with fire.
>> No. 10404 Anonymous
28th August 2016
Sunday 8:58 pm
10404 spacer
>>10403
It's a pair of professional women, one of whom I'm convinced is mentally unstable, what could possibly go wrong?
>> No. 10405 Anonymous
28th August 2016
Sunday 9:30 pm
10405 spacer
>>10404

>professional women

I'd love to be a woman professionally, but apparently you need a vagina. Bloody sea shepherds.
>> No. 10406 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 12:17 am
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3f4.gif
104061040610406
>>10404
>>10399

Jesus wept, lad. Your bollocks are going to be right on the chopping block if this ever gets back to them.
>> No. 10407 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 1:36 am
10407 spacer
>>10404

You're already fired, you just don't know it yet.

Especially if the IT bloke fancies one of them.
>> No. 10408 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 7:35 am
10408 spacer
What is it with this weird thread and the weird people who just respond to every story or post with 'you're about to get fired!'?
>> No. 10409 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 8:55 am
10409 spacer
>>10408
Stirring up tensions between two people more senior than you in the company is generally not a good idea.

Anyway, this thread works as a bit of a .gs behaviour time capsule. The thread has been going since 2011 but I don't believe there was any truly cuntish behaviour before 2014; I believe the first 'cunt off' started from >>6980. However, from a quick scroll on my phone, I'd guess that two thirds of the posts to this thread have been since then but it's probably said cunt offs which have seen the number of posts shoot up.
>> No. 10410 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 9:05 am
10410 spacer
>>10409
>Stirring up tensions between two people more senior than you in the company is generally not a good idea.

I know, I agree, and I haven't been here since 2011 so your insight is interesting for me.

Regardless though, that's not how the real world really works and it's not like the films. If you fuck up, you likely get a bollocking first and some sort of disciplinary, unless you really overstep the mark. People take the vaguest stories with the vaguest details, populate the dark corners in their heads and then just spout the same 'your job is over' shit. I don't understand why.
>> No. 10412 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 9:55 am
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>>10410
>I haven't been here since 2011 so your insight is interesting for me.

There definitely wasn't as many cunt offs 5/6 years ago. There was one lad who managed to get the first post in almost every thread, which he'd try to shit up with a snarky reply, but most people knew to ignore him. Apart from that we had the occasional wannabe Charlie Brookers and the "OMGz, my life is so like Mark Corrigan's!" but that was it really.
>> No. 10413 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 12:06 pm
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>>10410
Yeah if you fuck up you get a bollocking but this is different because it's interpersonal manipulation. The danger is not from ant disciplinary procedure he might go through, but from how his seniors will view him and treat him from then on.
>> No. 10414 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 6:17 pm
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>>10413
Exactly. He's gone and left an evidence trail by doing it over email, too, which really is asking for it. Anyone who's spent any time dealing with office politics knows where this is going and if he's honestly playing these games the way he says he is then there will be fireworks at some point. If the two of them find out he's been playing them off against each other I'd bet that they'll put aside their disagreements for long enough to find some reason to fire him or otherwise make his life so miserable that he finds another job.

I think you're bonkers, mate, but do let us know how it goes. (I fucking hated working otherwise passably enjoyable jobs in offices because of people like you, by the way.)

>There definitely wasn't as many cunt offs 5/6 years ago.
I'm not so sure. I think the user base has mellowed somewhat with age; the amount of moaning has gone up, perhaps, but the amount of outright fighting feels like it's way down. Even /pol/ (which I'll grant you is still a vicious cesspool) is substantially less abrasive than it was back in the B NP days.
>> No. 10415 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 6:46 pm
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>>10412

> There definitely wasn't as many cunt offs 5/6 years ago.

I'd disagree, just that the cunt offs were generally of better quality (funnier and more intelligent).

Besides, Corriganlad was fucking brilliant and Charlie Brooker actually posts here (or did). It's still real to me god damn it.
>> No. 10416 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 7:07 pm
10416 spacer
>>10415
Or possibly someone working on his resource team did, or someone who had the same idea as someone who worked on it had the same idea as someone who posts on here did, once.
>> No. 10417 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 7:13 pm
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>>10415
Corriganlad on /emo/ was brilliant, but before then there were quite a number of posts from people claiming their life was just like Corrigan's because they were a bit awkward.

Stewart Lee had an article in the Graun last weekend where he referenced Lonely Wank In A Travelodge by Kunt, first thing that come into my mind was here.
>> No. 10418 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 7:15 pm
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>>10417
The humour works because it's relatable. That means there's a lot of people who think and act similarly in real life.
>> No. 10419 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 7:28 pm
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>>10415>>10417
Hello Corriganlad here.

My latest adventure was posted in the weekend thread regarding a tinder date. I've only just returned to .gs the last week. So yeah.
>> No. 10420 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 12:33 am
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>>10419
If that's you then you're doing a lot better than you were before, mate, considering you actually got your end wet this time. I remember what your life used to be like. Keep up the good work, pal.
>> No. 10421 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 12:00 pm
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>>10419

Sounds like you sorted yourself right out. You selfish cunt.
>> No. 10422 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 5:10 pm
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>>10420>>10421
Far from sorting myself out fully. I'll summarise what I've been up to the last few years.

In Corrigan fashion I went clubbing and not understand what to do.
Try to chase after a girl for a year but rejected me.
Said girl was also being pursued by another lad. I tried to come up with various tactical plans to stop this.
Said lad tried to back block (he wouldn't let me into the circle by closing the circle) me in a club so I made an anonymous tip to his mum that he's taking drugs.
Got shot in the leg and hand with a high powered airsoft pistol
Slept walked in the first week of moving into uni and got locked out.
Went on a date with a Chinese girl only she was unaware it was a date. Immediately cut ties.
Got slapped for accidentally touch a friend's boob.
On three separate occasions I've got girls I've liked to get back with their exes when I intended to flirt.

Sage for off topic but currently job searching so soon I might add this thread.
>> No. 10423 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 8:14 pm
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>>10422

>Went on a date with a Chinese girl only she was unaware it was a date. Immediately cut ties.

You fucking muppet, lad.
>> No. 10424 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 8:22 pm
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>>10422

Never change, Corriganlad. I mean it, you're wonderful.
>> No. 10425 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 11:38 am
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>>10422
That last one is glorious.
>> No. 10429 Anonymous
9th September 2016
Friday 9:22 pm
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I had LinkedIn training today. There's something quite jarring about having to listen to someone who is being paid to talk about news feeds and the differences between liking posts and sharing posts and shit like that.
>> No. 10430 Anonymous
9th September 2016
Friday 9:46 pm
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>>10422

That you Anders? How was China?
>> No. 10431 Anonymous
10th September 2016
Saturday 3:48 am
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>>10430
Nope not Anders. Never left Europe.

Not so much a workplaces annoyance but more /101/ hence the sage but the lack of response of a successful or unsuccessful interview is really pissing me off right now. I can understand not replying to every applicant who was unsuccessful during the application process but it should be a standard thing to let every applicant know how they did if they reached the interview stage. Was meant to know the results of my last interview regardless of whether I was successful or not within 2 working days and it's been over a week.

I don't know what's worse. Tinder or job seeking in terms of getting a response.
>> No. 10432 Anonymous
10th September 2016
Saturday 6:31 am
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>>10431
Job seeking. At least with Tinder you know someone else might be getting fucked.
>> No. 10433 Anonymous
10th September 2016
Saturday 9:03 am
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>>10429

Is Linkedin actually useful to anyone? The only people I see using it actively are the "recruitment managers" who ring me constantly.
>> No. 10434 Anonymous
10th September 2016
Saturday 9:57 am
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>>10433
If we share things that the company posts on their LinkedIn profile then it'll increase the number of people who view it, or some shit like that.

Also, the trainer also told us that we shouldn't be complaining about our employer online. Apparently that's not a good idea.
>> No. 10448 Anonymous
12th September 2016
Monday 9:16 pm
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Does anybody else have mates on facebook who occasionally post recruitment ads from their workplace?

I chuckle at first, and then breath a heavy sigh, because they have become "that guy", but they probably had no choice in the matter. We live in an age where our very identity and online presence is owned by our corporate paymasters.

Millions of years of evolution, thousands of years of social and cultural advancement, lads, and there you are. Updating your bio on LinkedIn.
>> No. 10449 Anonymous
12th September 2016
Monday 9:24 pm
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>>10448
I believe I'd either unfriend or unfollow such a person. I curate my friend list to stay at 200 maximum anyway.
>> No. 10450 Anonymous
12th September 2016
Monday 11:00 pm
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>>10448
They'll probably get a couple of grand if anyone bites and actually joins the company. Probably worth a shot if you don't take your online persona too seriously.
>> No. 10451 Anonymous
12th September 2016
Monday 11:32 pm
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>>10448
There's often lotteries for this stuff. One sharer gets a bonus if selected.
>> No. 10452 Anonymous
13th September 2016
Tuesday 4:35 am
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>>10448

I was asked why I hadn't yet shared our flashy new ad video on facebook recently. Despite them issuing a huge social media policy document that recommends not even listing the company on your profile.
>> No. 10453 Anonymous
13th September 2016
Tuesday 4:46 am
10453 spacer
>>10450

We get a grand if we recommend someone and they're hired. As a manager with final say on hiring for my team, there's a bit of a loophole there. I think they have to remain with the company for a set amount of time, but the basic wonk contract is zero hours. I bet someone has gamed that system somewhere.
>> No. 10455 Anonymous
13th September 2016
Tuesday 7:07 am
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>>10450
I get between £1,000 and £3,000 if I refer someone and they get a job, one-third when they start, one-third after their six month's probation and the final third once they have been there a year.

A fair number of people I went to school with work at either Arco or Marston's because one of them became team leader and then started hiring loads of their mates.

I'd never post that on Facebook, though. That's for twats. I'm a member of a local community group and there is always dozy bints asking if anyone knows of any jobs going.
>> No. 10469 Anonymous
23rd September 2016
Friday 10:11 pm
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Is it autistic if I aska girl at work who sits directly across from me to stop twizzling her hair?

She twizzles it and then sort of brings it up to her nose as if she's sniffing it, then lets it fall and does it again.

She does it all fucking day and it does my head in because it's in my eyeline.

Will I look like a weird cunt if I ask her to stop?
>> No. 10470 Anonymous
23rd September 2016
Friday 10:20 pm
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>>10469
Yeah.
>> No. 10471 Anonymous
23rd September 2016
Friday 11:12 pm
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>>10469
A girl I used to work with had terrible hair extensions and she was forever twiddling with them.

Anyway, today's annoyance was an email from a manager chasing up some work I did for them back in December, saying that they'd never received the final copy, and the message they'd forwarded included not only me sending it to them last year, but them actually acknowledging and responding to this.
>> No. 10472 Anonymous
24th September 2016
Saturday 7:50 am
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>>10471

When things like that happen, there's never a right way to respond to it either.

Also, if you have clients in the middle east, emails like that are a daily occurrence.
>> No. 10473 Anonymous
24th September 2016
Saturday 8:31 am
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>>10471

I think it's a really shitty managerial quality.

My boss is great, but is terrible for going 'HAVE YOU DONE THIS YOU HAVEN'T SENT ME THIS?' at the last minute, immediately trying to shift blame.
>> No. 10475 Anonymous
27th September 2016
Tuesday 9:54 pm
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People from work keep trying to add me on Facebook.
>> No. 10497 Anonymous
9th October 2016
Sunday 7:17 pm
10497 spacer

image.jpg
104971049710497
Is it wise to remove my university education from my CV when applying for a job that asks for secondary school education as a requirement?
>> No. 10498 Anonymous
9th October 2016
Sunday 7:43 pm
10498 spacer
>>10497

Don't omit it, put everything you've done school and education-wise.
>> No. 10499 Anonymous
9th October 2016
Sunday 8:07 pm
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>>10498
>>10497

This was actually intended for its own thread, was posting from a mobile.
>> No. 10500 Anonymous
9th October 2016
Sunday 8:08 pm
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>>10497
My girlfriend's brother (>>10147) won't apply for jobs that have GCSEs or A Levels as a minimum requirement because he believes doing the first year of a degree means he's overqualified for them so are beneath him.
>> No. 10501 Anonymous
9th October 2016
Sunday 8:15 pm
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>>10500
People that age think all sorts of stupid things. I applied for the BAE Systems grad scheme in my final year, they were asking for GCSEs. I get the feeling it's just because they're cheapskates and use a budget HR platform. Your girlfriend's brother probably doesn't understand that the system you use to apply for jobs typically isn't operated by that company.
>> No. 10502 Anonymous
10th October 2016
Monday 8:41 pm
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They're changing the destination for our Christmas party because they've hired a couple of eskimos so now we have to go somewhere halal.
>> No. 10503 Anonymous
10th October 2016
Monday 8:43 pm
10503 spacer
>>10502

Has anybody actually asked them if they mind? Usually I've found that most of the time they don't really mind and just won't do anything to disregard their religion.

The people who tend to shout the most are do-gooders worrying on their behalf.
>> No. 10506 Anonymous
10th October 2016
Monday 8:49 pm
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>>10503
I don't know, I just heard from the person organising it that they now had to look at a new venue which was halal (said in a slightly hushed tones) even though there's enough veggie options available where we'd originally booked in. I guess this means we're having a Christmas curry.
>> No. 10509 Anonymous
10th October 2016
Monday 10:02 pm
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>>10506
That sounds far nicer than dry turkey and gelatinous gravy tbh, pass me a festive rogan josh any day.
>> No. 10511 Anonymous
10th October 2016
Monday 10:56 pm
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>>10509

Seconded.

Mate, you are picking the low hanging fruits of immigration here, enjoy!
>> No. 10512 Anonymous
10th October 2016
Monday 11:04 pm
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>>10509
>dry turkey and gelatinous gravy

Have you ever been on a Christmas do? Nobody eats turkey. We'd booked in a Brazilian restaurant serving at least fifteen different cuts of meat.
>> No. 10520 Anonymous
17th October 2016
Monday 5:52 pm
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Someone I work with retired at the end of August. It has since transpired that they must have spent most of the past decade calculating how many corners she could get away with cutting because the amount we've uncovered since she left has been quite impressive. I mean, the amount of effort she would have put in to figure all this out must have been a full time job in itself.
>> No. 10521 Anonymous
17th October 2016
Monday 6:59 pm
10521 spacer
>>10520
I do that. I do that a lot. Sometimes I just sit and do nothing because of just how "efficient" I have gotten at my "work."
>> No. 10522 Anonymous
17th October 2016
Monday 8:26 pm
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>>10512
I'm going to have a lovely piece of salmon.
>> No. 10526 Anonymous
20th October 2016
Thursday 7:45 pm
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They've changed the venue, again. A few people said they'd boycott it as they don't agree with halal slaughter and the (actual church going) Christian said she'd have to check with her church whether eating it would go against her religion, although we think she was just looking for an excuse to get out of it.
>> No. 10527 Anonymous
21st October 2016
Friday 6:58 am
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>>10512

My place was originally down to have one, only 9 people were actually down for going and 2 of them were partners so it was cancelled.

A week ago some people tried to organise a meal at Jimmy spices instead and I was up for that but last minute they've switched back to the original venue and shitty Christmas dinner so fuck em.
Thing is must people were convinced by the free drinks. Last thing I want is a cold dry Christmas dinner why having to play games or quizzes with most people I hate. I just wanted a nice fucking meal with no bullshit.
>> No. 10528 Anonymous
21st October 2016
Friday 9:31 am
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>>10527
Well you're never going to get those with your work colleagues unless you work in a very close knit company where there are only a couple of you in the first place.
>> No. 10533 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 7:47 pm
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>>10526

>A few people said they'd boycott it as they don't agree with halal slaughter

The who what now? Fuck me. Do you work at fucking Asda or summat? What the fuck?
>> No. 10534 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 8:03 pm
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>>10533
EDL HQ.
>> No. 10535 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 8:13 pm
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>>10534

Cheltenham?
>> No. 10536 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 8:38 pm
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>>10533
Many people don't agree with halal, this shouldn't be a revelation.
>> No. 10537 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 9:39 pm
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>>10502

>They're changing the destination for our Christmas party because they've hired a couple of eskimos so now we have to go somewhere halal.

No you don't. I've seen this happen in workplaces and unfortunately is becoming all too common. We'd have all the picky eaters (me included, I'm vegetarian) and come to some consensus. Then it would always be can't go there, it's haram / not halal / serves alcohol. This came from a bunch of bearded fuckwits working in the banking sector.

Stand up and say no. Just because they believe in the perfect man who flew around on a magic donkeyhorse with wings, who had sex with a nine year old and professed camel urine as a revivant (amongst other stupid made up shit), it shouldn't spoil your day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAAq2EQLBkY
>> No. 10538 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 9:41 pm
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>>10536
Like how meat white people are horrified that the Chinese eat dogs.
>> No. 10539 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 9:42 pm
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>>10537
No need to be a racist just because you get bullied by Asians, lad.
>> No. 10540 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 9:54 pm
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>>10538
Don't they blowtorch them first? I'm trying to remember a couple of years back when my Facebook feed seemed to be full of people constantly sharing animal torture, as if the best thing to do with something you find extremely offensive is to be constantly exposed to it.
>> No. 10541 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 9:56 pm
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>>10537
To save everyone else wasting their time, I found the source for the only good bits in that video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48laJC8wYl4
>> No. 10542 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 10:07 pm
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>>10539

>No need to be a racist just because you get bullied by Asians, lad.

Nice sophistry 9/10
>> No. 10543 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 10:12 pm
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>>10541

Racist, just you wait till I tell my Gender Studies campus Imam.
>> No. 10545 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 10:41 pm
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>>10543
What's he going to do, blow me up?
>> No. 10546 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 10:50 pm
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>>10541
>When the Imam isn't home.
>> No. 10547 Anonymous
22nd October 2016
Saturday 11:59 pm
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>>10546
Nah m7, he's running the bar innit.
>> No. 10548 Anonymous
23rd October 2016
Sunday 12:45 am
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>>10545

Hopefully Inshhhallahhh Muuhhammad jibber jabber stuff.
>> No. 10549 Anonymous
23rd October 2016
Sunday 1:09 am
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>>10548

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0Lp902ZXAQ
>> No. 10552 Anonymous
23rd October 2016
Sunday 4:08 am
10552 spacer

Barry.jpg
105521055210552
>>10549

MASHALLAH BROTHER, MASHALLAH
>> No. 10554 Anonymous
23rd October 2016
Sunday 9:59 am
10554 spacer
>>10547

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgHW02YF50s
>> No. 10556 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 7:22 am
10556 spacer
The lass I sit next to told me that she had to run to the toilet because a sneeze almost made her piss herself. My boss has let me know on several occasions whether a sneeze has caused a little bit of piss to dribble out, I've heard all about her weak bladder. Other women in the office announce if they need a piss and when they're going for one.

What is it with women and talking about wee so much?
>> No. 10557 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 6:15 pm
10557 spacer
>>10556

We're doing gak in the toilets.
>> No. 10558 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 7:02 pm
10558 spacer
>>10556
It's a subconscious fetish that most of them share.

You know this means. You have to do it, lad.
>> No. 10559 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 7:41 pm
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>>10558
None of them are fatties.
>> No. 10561 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 7:51 pm
10561 spacer
The same subject has come up before hasn't it? I can report it happens at my work too anyhow. '558 is pretty much right, I think, even if he is being half facetious.

A good majority of girls are subconsciously submissive, fishmongery be damned. My best guess is that there's something to do with the mild taboo on bodily functions, and then something stemming back from school when you had to ask the teacher (an appeal to authority) in order to have permission to relieve oneself. There's also a hint of penis envy in there.

Next time a lass mentions it, tell her she isn't allowed, and see how she reacts. My hypothesis is that in some ways it's almost a flirtatious gambit, but involves an ostensibly non-sexual interaction, and is therefore "harmless".
>> No. 10563 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 10:01 pm
10563 spacer
>>10559
Because they're doing a shitton of gak in the loos, lads, why the fuck else do you think we always go in twos and threes and cultivate long nails?
>> No. 10565 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 10:16 pm
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>>10563
What is a gak?
>> No. 10566 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 10:42 pm
10566 spacer
>>10565
It's not "a" gak, just gak. Columbian marching powder. Cocaine.
>> No. 10567 Anonymous
25th October 2016
Tuesday 10:52 pm
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>>10563

>we

Come off it lad, you'll get sacked for sexually inappropriate behaviour if they find you out.
>> No. 10576 Anonymous
26th October 2016
Wednesday 10:46 pm
10576 spacer
Some woman at work (you know the type, she loves to buy into the corporate bullshit and will call meetings to look busy, whilst talking tautological platitudes and cliches that mean nothing just to justify her existence) has had an operation on her legs or something.

Anyway, she's been off a week, has the option of a few months chilling at home, and instead keeps emailing our huge team saying how she's bored and needs work to do and is still taking calls and will be getting lifts in because she loves to work.

I can't imagine getting to a point where corporate bullshit jobs become my life so much so that I can't bear the thought of being away from it.

I don't know why but her metaphorical auto-fellatio where she showed just how much she loved the company and how much of a hero she was for answering emails really wound me up and depressed me a bit.

Am I being an idealistic airy-fairy cunt or am I right in thinking that she has to be one empty-life, boring mother fucker that the thought of having a few weeks off work is terrible to her to the extent that she is begging to come back?

A simple email has me questioning life. I can't think of anything better than my boss saying 'have the few months off and rest' and getting a few books read, a bit of garden relaxing and a general bit of living life, maybe a cheeky holiday or break away.

What a sad cunt, I know it's equally sad me ranting on an online imageboard, but something really depressed me about the fact that this woman literally feels her life is incomplete without our shitty office corporate jobs and that she can't take a break away from it. Work to live not live to work.
>> No. 10577 Anonymous
26th October 2016
Wednesday 10:51 pm
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>>10576
I have met a lot of people like your colleague. What I learnt was that their job becomes a part of their identity. A part of who they are.
>> No. 10578 Anonymous
26th October 2016
Wednesday 10:55 pm
10578 spacer
>>10576
Earlier this year, I was off work for three weeks following an injury, with a couple of months phased return. By the third week, bring unable to go anywhere or do anything had me crawling up the walls. Getting the laptop at home and being able to do something vaguely useful was a fucking godsend. There's only so many episodes of Doctors a person can take.
>> No. 10579 Anonymous
26th October 2016
Wednesday 11:44 pm
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>>10576

It's as I've said before mate, the people who really excel in offices, the people meant to be there, are people terminally lacking in imagination. No wonder they get wrapped up in it.

>>10578

This cunt, for instance, was off work for three weeks and didn't even have the basic initiative to find a new and interesting variety of porn. He needed the comforting structure and reliably meaningless make-work of office bullshit delivered directly into his frontal lobe, because even using the sum total of his creative will, the only alternative he could summon was watching fucking Doctors.
>> No. 10587 Anonymous
28th October 2016
Friday 1:15 am
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>>10576
Piss in her arse.
>> No. 10602 Anonymous
28th October 2016
Friday 9:06 am
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>>10579
I can waste three weeks like it was 5 minutes. How do these people function when they have to wait for things?
>> No. 10603 Anonymous
28th October 2016
Friday 9:57 am
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>>10579
Thanks for the nostalgia, lad. I'd forgotten what it was like to be 14.
>> No. 10609 Anonymous
28th October 2016
Friday 8:20 pm
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Someone sent an email out today asking if anyone would be interested in doing a secret Santa. They were almost immediately lynched. They don't do Christmas cheer where I work.
>> No. 10610 Anonymous
28th October 2016
Friday 8:26 pm
10610 spacer
>>10603

The other poster has a point.
>> No. 10611 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 12:33 am
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>>10610
He really doesn't, though.
>> No. 10613 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 11:41 am
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>>10603

Maybe if you remembered what it was like to be 14 more often, you wouldn't be the kind of irremediably tedious cunt who is bored beyond all solace (besides Doctors, your one joy in life) after just 3 weeks at home.

You desperately need a hobby, it's not healthy. How do you envisage retirement panning out?
>> No. 10615 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 12:20 pm
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>>10613
OAPs/Neighbours from hell.
>> No. 10616 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 12:37 pm
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>>10611
He does. It's really fucking sad to hear people talk about how lost they are without work to do.
>> No. 10617 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 12:50 pm
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>>10613
I have plenty of things to fill my spare time. The problem wasn't being off work, it was that I couldn't leave home because I couldn't fucking walk, you daft bellend.
>> No. 10618 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 1:44 pm
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>>10617
Yeah, I got that part. It's still sad to me that your work laptop was a "godsend".
>> No. 10619 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 1:55 pm
10619 spacer
Fucking hell, lads. This is one of the threads we don't have a cunt-off in.
>> No. 10620 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 2:01 pm
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>>10618
Tell you what mate, I'll break both your ankles and lock you in the bedroom for a month with a telly and a phone, and we'll see how you cope. Cunt.
>> No. 10622 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 2:24 pm
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>>10620
Why don't you have a computer, you moron?
>> No. 10626 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 3:53 pm
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>>10622
What part of "couldn't fucking walk" is causing you grief there, lad?
>> No. 10627 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 3:55 pm
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>>10626
So you can't reach for your laptop? The other lad is right, you really are an uncreative moron.
>> No. 10628 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 3:59 pm
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>>10626
I didn't realise walking was an essential skill required to use a computer?

Whichever way you try and split it, not coping without the usual comfort of work for a few weeks does show a lack of imagination. Did you think of watching something slightly more interesting than Doctors? Playing through a new video game? Reading some books? Or maybe learn a useful skill - a new programming language, a new musical instrument, or just start an edx course.

I'm not saying that anyone who doesn't hate their job is a soulless corporate moron (which seems to be the implication from a few other posters), but most people would find something different to do for a change given the opportunity.
>> No. 10629 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 4:04 pm
10629 spacer
>>10617.

I mean, I would understand the thrust of your argument, were it not for the fact this is 2016 and you have the literally the entirety of all human knowledge, media and social activity right there at your fingertips.

You don't even have to leave your bed and you can download anything from Homer's Odysee to fucking Harry Potter; you can read about the Battle or Verdun or you could download a game that lets you take part in the Battle of Verdun.

And you sat there filling in fucking spreadsheets.
>> No. 10630 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 4:16 pm
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>>10610
>>10611

Not even involved in this thread but >>10579 was, to me, both spot-on and hilarious. Being both a tech-head and co-founder of my own company I know what it's like to live and breathe your work, to the point of doing final code cleanups and comments and a final svn commit while waiting to board a holiday flight - but even I, when I have the chance, have an absolute shit ton of non-work things I'm waiting for free time to do. From the list of unread books on my kindle to the mobile app I've been wanting to write for months, there are dozens of things I'd start doing before giving up and loading 104 consecutive hours of Peppa Pig onto Netflix or whatever.
>> No. 10632 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 5:10 pm
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>>10628
>I didn't realise walking was an essential skill required to use a computer?
It's very much necessary for walking to and sitting at the desk where said computer lives.
>> No. 10633 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 5:12 pm
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>>10630
>svn

Man am I glad my company is switching to Git as standard, git-svn is a right faff.
>> No. 10634 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 5:12 pm
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>>10627
Why do you assume it's a laptop?
>> No. 10635 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 5:19 pm
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>>10634
It's 2016 mate, who doesn't own a laptop or tablet in this country?
>> No. 10637 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 5:30 pm
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>>10630
But you must be lying, because the shelfstackerlads told me that everyone that works in an office does nothing but write bullshit emails and fill in spreadsheets.
>> No. 10638 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 5:35 pm
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>>10635
Yeah, I mean why does anyone even still have a job these days?
>> No. 10642 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 6:18 pm
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>>10638
What an odd non-sequitur.
>> No. 10650 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 8:59 pm
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>>10626
Do you have some weird treadmill contraption set up to power your computer?
>> No. 10657 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 10:18 pm
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>>10637

No matter which way you slice it lad, that is 99% of what actually goes on in offices up and down this country.
>> No. 10659 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 11:00 pm
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>>10657

Prove it.

I dick about on the internet now and then in the office because we all do to some extent. Thing is, we get the job done, not like you moany lefty types who can't get postgrad jobs who spend all their time whinging in call centres.
>> No. 10662 Anonymous
29th October 2016
Saturday 11:35 pm
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>>10659

I think a lot of offices are administrative back-ends for the people doing the "real jobs" (i.e. the thing that makes the company money). Imagine the back end offices of everything from Tesco's to some two-bit double glazing firm; you're so far estranged from where the actual backbone work of the company is being done that I imagine that you would indeed feel like all your work is just bullshit emails and spreadsheets because it sort of is .

Offices where the actual money-making work gets done (law firms, tech companies, investment banks) have a very different dynamic.
>> No. 10682 Anonymous
30th October 2016
Sunday 6:14 am
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>>10662

You may be on to something, there. I work in healthcare and the atmosphere changed radically when a new building was built just for the admin staff.

Whereas before we'd help out clinical staff with queries, communicate with patients, be in touch with the every day running of the actual front end service, now the work had quite literally become spreadsheets and phonecalls. Something as simple as sticking everyone in a different room can change your job description overnight.

If I can, I'm probably going to jump ship in the next 6 months.
>> No. 10733 Anonymous
3rd November 2016
Thursday 7:03 am
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Ever since the clocks went back a 15-20 minute journey home is taking 40-45 minutes because everyone seems to have lost their collective minds and forgotten how go drive in the dark.
>> No. 10734 Anonymous
3rd November 2016
Thursday 9:07 pm
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My evening travel has gone from 15 minutes to 35 just due to the amount of road works. Even going down the ack roads doesn't help because everyone else has the same idea.
>> No. 10735 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 4:23 am
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So last month I was promoted to consultant at work, floating around sites and evaluating and improving them ad hoc. My payment structure involves invoicing the head accountant directly.

The job I held before that was a fixed, salaried position for one site. Salaried staff pay is essentially automated through a third party payroll system.

I just got my payslip emailed to my by that system. I'm still being paid for the job I was promoted away from, on top of my new pay.

Can I just pretend I haven't noticed? I'm sure this month I could get away with saying I assumed it was back pay, but what if it keeps happening? Despite my elevated position in the company I'm still a dodgy bastard at heart and I'm finding it hard to not wonder if I could just be quiet and hope nobody notices.
>> No. 10736 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 4:44 am
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>>10735
Don't fuck up a good thing.
Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to stuff like this.
>> No. 10737 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 6:56 am
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>>10735
I wouldn't risk it. That said, about four years ago my current employer started paying in pension contributions equivalent to five times the salary I was on at the time. I never said anything and this continued for approximately one year, until it was changed to for correct amount at the next pay review, so I think I've got away with it.
>> No. 10738 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 11:16 am
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>>10735

I really would report it if I was you. If you're already going to the effort of doing everything by the book, and being rewarded for it, why risk fucking it up?

They promoted you. You staying on the straight and narrow == everyone still loves you & glowing praise & you can get promoted again, you being dodgy here == oops your job becomes redundant at the next available opportunity, and your reference for the next is lukewarm at best.
>> No. 10739 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 1:46 pm
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>>10735
I can see how you've become a consultant.
>> No. 10740 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 4:22 pm
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>>10735
Double check it's not the remainder of the pay you were owed. If it isn't, wait and see if the money materialises. If their system actually pays out, find the highest interest instant access vehicle you can find and stick it in there. That way, you can tell them that you've noticed the overpayment and set the money aside for them should they want it back. If they don't respond but notice further down the line (left hand/right hand) you can immediately repay them, pocket whatever small amount of interest accumulated, all without any hint of dishonesty.
>> No. 10741 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 7:20 pm
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>>10740

And if they do think you're trying to pocket it, assure them you only wanted the money to rest in your account.
>> No. 10742 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 7:36 pm
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>>10741
>you can tell them that you've noticed the overpayment
>> No. 10743 Anonymous
10th November 2016
Thursday 11:52 pm
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I WANT TO BE PAID MORE.
>> No. 10744 Anonymous
11th November 2016
Friday 12:28 am
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>>10743
So get a better job then.
>> No. 10745 Anonymous
13th November 2016
Sunday 4:17 pm
10745 Arrr
>>8619>>8619 how to solve this damn problem?!
>> No. 10746 Anonymous
14th November 2016
Monday 5:55 pm
10746 spacer
>An email that was accidentally sent to all the NHS's staff in England has caused havoc.
>One of the health system's employees fired off the message on Monday morning without realising they had copied in 840,000 of their co-workers.
>The action quickly clogged up the system and was exacerbated by users hitting "reply all" to complain.


Why the fuck do people hit the reply all shit to complain about stuff like this? I don't get it, they should instantly dismiss those fucking retards.
>> No. 10747 Anonymous
14th November 2016
Monday 7:00 pm
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>>10746

>all the NHS's staff in England

They couldn't even get their fuck up right, they still managed to miss about 400,000 employees. Maybe that's why my password reset e-mail took so long to come through.

Which brings me to another point. There are dozens of different logins to the various IT systems, and they all require you to change password on a regular basis, but they all operate on different fucking timescales. There's no way to keep track unless you have a memory like the fucking Rain Man, or you write them all down, which totally defeats the point.

The IT departments who implement this kind of nonsense need to have a long, hard word with themselves; instead of passively aggressively reminding us of how much it costs the trust to clog the IT department's workload with password reset calls. Cunts.
>> No. 10748 Anonymous
14th November 2016
Monday 7:47 pm
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I've been issued with an on-call phone and it's constantly fucking beeping. I wouldn't mind so much if any of them were relevant and therefore chargeable.
>> No. 10749 Anonymous
14th November 2016
Monday 8:24 pm
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>>10747
>or you write them all down, which totally defeats the point.

Not really, so long as you don't say SECRET PASSWORDS HERE M8Y on the front writing down your passwords on a random page of a notepad or (better still) scribbling them in the margin of a paperback is far better than either storing them electronically or re-using the same password for everything. Mostly because electronic intrusion is much more of a threat than physical intrusion.
>> No. 10750 Anonymous
14th November 2016
Monday 9:14 pm
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>>10747
If only there were some way of running a central authentication system so that everyone gets one username and one password like we do in Wales.

Unfortunately, some of our systems still need you to be set up separately because they were built by idiots who can't figure out how to automatically add first-time users when they successfully authenticate against a group, but it's great that the only two passwords we need to remember are the AD password which works for everything, is used daily, and therefore easily remembered, and the separate password for ESR that everyone forgets because they hardly ever use it.
>> No. 10752 Anonymous
14th November 2016
Monday 9:25 pm
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>>10750
You are massively over-simplifying the idea of Single Sign-On - in most enterprises, AD (or LDAP) isn't really the problem - its all the applications that don't talk to those schemes that are the issue.
>> No. 10753 Anonymous
14th November 2016
Monday 9:32 pm
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>>10752
It's almost as if you didn't bother reading anything in the spoilers.
>> No. 10755 Anonymous
14th November 2016
Monday 11:23 pm
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>>10753
I did. I've just worked in enterprise IT for almost thirty years, including some of the largest dot-coms you've heard of and never have I seen an SSO implementation that totally worked across all applications, even when you have thousands of highly paid geeks at your disposal. It's fantasy.
>> No. 10756 Anonymous
15th November 2016
Tuesday 12:12 am
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>>10755
Well, Google manages it.
>> No. 10757 Anonymous
15th November 2016
Tuesday 1:47 am
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>>10755
I can only assume you just haven't looked hard enough. If you're in a large organisation and you've either built or procured something on-premises that didn't hook into your directory and it wasn't built by Oracle then you're doing it completely wrong.
>> No. 10758 Anonymous
15th November 2016
Tuesday 7:59 pm
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Lads I rang up a company I'd like to work for and they said to leave a number and somebody will call me back the day after.

I thought they were fobbing me off but the next day somebody actually rang me back and talked briefly about my experience and said it sounded good and asked me to send a CV so that he could take it to the company owner.

I sent it him and he didn't reply for a few days before sending me an email saying he's been out of office but he will take it to the owner/managing director and come back to me soon.

Does it sound genuine? Seems almost too nice to go to of his way like that and it's a company I really want to work for. Normally you send your CV and it goes off into the void. I'm just wondering if it sounds like I have an actual chance or if I'm building my hopes up for nothing.
>> No. 10759 Anonymous
15th November 2016
Tuesday 8:27 pm
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>>10758
The fact that they even bothered to get back to you is promising. It may be that the person has shitty time management and will never actually do the deed, but that's certainly better than total radio silence. If they were going to fob you off, they simply wouldn't bother replying.
>> No. 10760 Anonymous
15th November 2016
Tuesday 8:35 pm
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>>10759
If they actually called you back then yeah, they are genuinely interested in you. They absolutely would not expend the time otherwise, as you've noted has happened in the past.
>> No. 10761 Anonymous
15th November 2016
Tuesday 8:50 pm
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>>10758
Sounds totally kosher. A few days before people respond is totally normal, they're not going to reply straight away.
>> No. 10762 Anonymous
15th November 2016
Tuesday 8:54 pm
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>>10759
>>10760
>>10761

Thank Christ, hopefully his manager likes it then and they actually come back to me.

Thanks lads. Everybody told me that once you get that first job and first bit of experience the rest flows, finding that to be the complete antithesis of my experience so far.
>> No. 10763 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 2:18 am
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This thread makes me really appreciate working from home. My biggest problem is running out of weed and rizlas.
>> No. 10768 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 7:17 pm
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The set menu for the Christmas night out was circulated today. They've spent around 90% of the budget on the food, leaving enough for roughly two 330ml bottles of beer or glasses of wine.

Fuck's sake. If it was up to me we'd be going to Spoons and be left with around £35 each left to get hammered with.
>> No. 10769 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 7:40 pm
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>>10763

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co_DNpTMKXk
>> No. 10770 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 10:18 pm
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>>10768
And that is why you're not allowed to organise the Christmas party.

This week, I've been put on an on-call rota, and have discovered that it'll be my turn the week of the Christmas party. Naturally, everyone else on the rota is going so none of the fuckers want to swap. Cunts.
>> No. 10771 Anonymous
17th November 2016
Thursday 2:58 am
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>>10769
Don't even have a problem with that. I've cut the wanking completely out as an experiment. Wanted to see if it gave me more drive, like how footballers aren't supposed to shag the day before a game.

Seems to be working.
>> No. 10772 Anonymous
22nd November 2016
Tuesday 8:41 pm
10772 spacer
They've hired a lass from Zimbabwe and her standard of written English isn't up to scratch, by quite some distance. This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that the overwhelming majority of her work is writing things that will be client facing. However, the management are shit scared of doing anything about this in case it's discriminating.
>> No. 10773 Anonymous
23rd November 2016
Wednesday 12:51 am
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>>10768
Whilst you think the idea of the entire office getting absolutely hammered on one day of the year is great, it almost always ends in tears, which is why companies allocate 90% to the food.
>> No. 10774 Anonymous
23rd November 2016
Wednesday 2:31 am
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>>10773

One thing I miss about the last proper job I had before striking it out on my own was the Christmas benders we used to go on.

One year we all went to Amsterdam with all expenses paid (partners / spouses included). Another year we cleverly disguised things as a business trip in order to keep partners/spouses out of it and went to Kiev for a week. I ended up fingering my secretary while she sat on my lap in a taxi and later held hands with her under the table in this fucked up biker bar where they put a liter of vodka on the table for every person there; we tried to meet up in the bathroom but we both got horribly lost and ended up back where we started. Utter madness. I later had what is still probably the closest I've had to a psychotic break when my plane home was canceled due to heavy snow and I started begging to be sent to any European city where I possibly had a route home because I just fucking had to get out of Kiev. All's well that ended well, I think someone took pity on me and when I went back to the airport twelve hours later I'd been bumped up to business class, lounge ticket and all. That's how I spent my last two hours in Ukraine drinking 100ml glasses of Russian Standard and praying to any god who'd listen that my plane actually boarded this time.

Sigh.

The closest we get to that kind of excitement any more is the work irc going dead for two weeks over Christmas / new year.
>> No. 10775 Anonymous
23rd November 2016
Wednesday 9:55 am
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It's the last full week of November and my boss still hasn't signed off my leave for Christmas. It's not like it's been in my calendar and the HR system since September or anything.
>> No. 10776 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 9:57 pm
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There is a cupboard in my office, packed full of stationery, pretty much everything you'll ever need. It's free to take, no having to sign it out or anything, just open the cupboard and pick it up.
Yet every single day, there is someone walking up and down the office and loudly shouting "has anyone got some post-it-notes/sellotape/scissors etc."
>> No. 10777 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 11:05 pm
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>>10776
I know this all too well and I really don't get it at all.

Some lad unironically started accusing me of stealing his stapler a few weeks ago. I explained to him that I didn't because I already have one and he could either go get an exactly the same, brand new one from the cupboard, or if I wanted one I could have just walked 10 steps and got one myself.

Nevertheless he launched some mini investigation and was adamant I'd stolen his fucking stapler. Really weird.
>> No. 10778 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 11:59 pm
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>>10777

>Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...
>> No. 10779 Anonymous
26th November 2016
Saturday 12:00 am
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>>10777

If your office burns down, point the rozzers his way.
>> No. 10780 Anonymous
26th November 2016
Saturday 6:46 am
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>>10777
You did steal it, didn't you lad.
>> No. 10781 Anonymous
26th November 2016
Saturday 7:42 am
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>>10776
The lass who sits next to me's calculator broke about three weeks ago. Instead of getting another one from stationery or asking admin to order another one, she keeps just borrowing mine.
>> No. 10790 Anonymous
1st December 2016
Thursday 5:50 pm
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>>10770
>And that is why you're not allowed to organise the Christmas party.

Jokes on you, they're letting me organise it next year. Bierkeller it is.
>> No. 10792 Anonymous
1st December 2016
Thursday 9:11 pm
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>>10781

You're in there.
>> No. 10796 Anonymous
1st December 2016
Thursday 11:44 pm
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>>10781
She wants to feel your digits up inside her IYKWIM
>> No. 10797 Anonymous
2nd December 2016
Friday 12:12 am
10797 spacer
>>10796

Eels!
>> No. 10803 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 5:15 pm
10803 spacer
They're being a bit racist at work, again. Apparently:-

• Some workplaces have banned Christmas decorations because they're not politically correct.

• It doesn't stop them from taking Christmas holidays off work even though they don't believe in it.

• The likes of Tom & Jerry and Looney Toons have been banned because they're too violent for kids.
>> No. 10804 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 5:25 pm
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>>10803
Racist against white people? What kind of shitty industry do you work in?
>> No. 10805 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 5:59 pm
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>>10803
>• The likes of Tom & Jerry and Looney Toons have been banned because they're too violent for kids.

This is the type of thing that crops up every now and then, but always turns out to be complete bovine excrement.
>> No. 10806 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 6:47 pm
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>>10804
No, they were moaning that DEM PARKIES don't celebrate Christmas but they'll gladly take the time off work.
>> No. 10807 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 6:56 pm
10807 spacer
>>10806

I'm sure they're all devout and diligent Christians themselves. And I bet if the boss gave them Hanukkah off they'd be in work regardless.

Out of curiosity I decided to check when Hanukkah was this year and it's December 24th to January 1st so I guess they do have Hanukkah off, but you see my point so whatever.
>> No. 10808 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 7:47 pm
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>>10805

To be fair they have actually white washed Tom and Jerry now by changing what is now viewed as racist. Such as Momma two shoes voice, and removing/won't show the episodes where black people are living as hunter gatherers (Even though in 1940s there were still large numbers of africans living in tribes).
>> No. 10809 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 7:56 pm
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>>10808
Africa's image has been fucked as it is, maybe you racists can pick on someone else. Maybe the Polynesians or something. I hear they worship a white cargo delivery man.
>> No. 10810 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 8:15 pm
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>>10809
That's no way to talk about Prince Philip.
>> No. 10811 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 8:50 pm
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>>10810

Do you have some old shit that needs shifting? Don't want a darkie rifling through your wife's knickers? Then call me, Big Phil. I've got a fucking massive van and a couple of indentured Romanians.
>> No. 10812 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 9:08 pm
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>>10811
Mirth. But seriously:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Philip_Movement
>> No. 10814 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 9:47 pm
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>>10808
These things normally do have a kernel of truth to them. The example I like to use is how Baa Baa Black Sheep was never officially banned and I doubt there were ever complaints either but one nursery started saying "rainbow sheep" and it spread like wildfire.

>>10809
On the contrary I think some ignorant portrayals of hunter gatherers is if anything going to improve Africa's image in the West. Can you imagine the complaints if Tom & Jerry instead did Africa episodes based upon the news?

>Tom & Jerry: The Rwandan Genocide
>Tom is a Hutu militiaman tasked with removing the Tutsi rat who steals from his great nation. Hilarity for all the family ensues as Tom develops increasingly elaborate schemes to capture Jerry including dressing as a UN peacekeeper only to end up trapped in a child prostitution ring.
>> No. 10815 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 11:08 pm
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>>10814
I'm sure Britain would look great if Tom & Jerry were based off of the Dailymail and Jeremy Kyle show.

Try to hide your bigotry next time.
>> No. 10816 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 11:50 pm
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>>10815

I'm not sure what your point is. Monkey dust potrayed Britian in exactly that way and no one objected because it was hillarious and normal people don't opperate in your oversensitive bubble.

You strike me as the sort of person who wouldn't report their rape because it was by an immigrant and you don't want to support prejudice against migrants, the worse crime would be encouraging racism.
>> No. 10817 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 1:28 am
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>>10816
Britian is usually portrayed as more than one thing in may kinds of media. Africa is portrayed as a single thing most of the time. I bet that makes you happy.
>> No. 10818 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 5:09 am
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>>10816

>You strike me as the sort of person who wouldn't report their rape because it was by an immigrant and you don't want to support prejudice against migrants, the worse crime would be encouraging racism

What a wholly rational and entirely not-bonkers thing to say.
>> No. 10819 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 12:28 pm
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>>10818

It is a thing that happened in Germany.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3675154/Left-wing-German-politician-raped-migrants-admits-LIED-police-attackers-nationality-did-not-want-encourage-racism.html#ixzz4DXmepKrv
>> No. 10820 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 1:58 pm
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>>10819
That does seem incredible. Do you have a source to back that up?
>> No. 10821 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 2:03 pm
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>>10819
Also you mean to tell me that people fear racists more than non white immigrants?
>> No. 10822 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 2:37 pm
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>>10821
You don't?
>> No. 10824 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 3:10 pm
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>>10820
>Do you have a source to back that up?

Multiple newspapers globally reported it (search for her name (Selin Goren)), I'm not sure what else you are expecting.

>>10821

I'd rather be friends with a racist than a rapist.
>> No. 10825 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 3:59 pm
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>>10824
And she would clearly rather be friends with rapists than racists. It is an interesting story.

Personally I'd rather be friends with a rapist or a racist than with a copper. We all have our petty little prejudices as we cling to attempted moral high grounds and imagine we are above the sewer that is all humanity.
>> No. 10826 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 5:38 pm
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>>10824
>I'd rather be friends with a racist than a rapist.
Is it because you are a bigot? What is your opinion on women?
>> No. 10827 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 6:05 pm
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>>10824
>I'm not sure what else you are expecting.
A link to a non-fiction publication, mainly.
>> No. 10828 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 6:29 pm
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>>10820
She wrote about it in Der Spiegel.

>>10826
Presumably it's because all a racist has done is have opinions, and since the left is so fond of the word those opinions could quite mild.
>> No. 10829 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 6:30 pm
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>>10827

>National newpapers are fiction.

Have you gotten over your Fresher's flu yet?
>> No. 10830 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 6:33 pm
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Lads, this is one of the threads we try not to shit up. If you want to have a cunt-off about it then kindly fuck off here >>/news/10962.
>> No. 10831 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 6:49 pm
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>>10826
>Is it because you are a bigot?
It's because it is a question of degrees. I'd rather spend an evening arguing with Alf Garnett trying to understand why he believes what he believes (the sort of person who despite their prejudices is essentially harmless), then ever tollerate a person who I know actively commits serious offences towards other people. Sticks and stones as they say.

>What is your opinion on women?
My opinion on women is that they shouldn't be raped. And the people who do should be punished.
>> No. 10832 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 6:54 pm
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>>10831

Take it outside!
>> No. 10833 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 6:56 pm
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>>10831
So only women shouldn't get raped? Men should get raped, right?


Fucking feminist twat. This is what is wrong with the modern left. They just act like they care about issues. They just want to look good.
>> No. 10834 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 7:07 pm
10834 spacer
>>10830

In context it is hard not to read that as

>FILTHY IMMIRGRANTS SHOULD FUCK OFF BACK TO THEIR OWN THREAD.
>> No. 10835 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 7:14 pm
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>>10833

You're somewhere below "bore" at this point.
>> No. 10836 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 7:16 pm
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>>10835
Do you think it is okay for men to be raped?
>> No. 10837 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 7:23 pm
10837 spacer
>>10836
I don't think anyone's implied that it's okay you absolute fruitloop.
>> No. 10838 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 7:27 pm
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>>10836

Is this fingerpaintlad?
>> No. 10839 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 7:43 pm
10839 spacer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tU5Rnd-HM6A

Racist lads, does this ad make your piss boil? Or do you get confused?
>> No. 10840 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 7:50 pm
10840 spacer
>>10839

I feel a trick was missed at the end by not having him say to the girl, "Hi I'm Your grandpa... I'm gonna fucking kill you".
>> No. 10841 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 8:16 pm
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>>10839
For fuck sake. It's not bread that pops out of a toaster.
>> No. 10843 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 8:21 pm
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>>10840
I watched too much Tarrant on tv growing up and expected him upon seeing his granddaughter is mixed raced go "Kurwa!" before it cuts to the master-card logo.
>> No. 10844 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 8:27 pm
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>>10839

What a fucking lovely house, there's something aesthetically pleasing about book cases and big green plants inside like that.

Also, what's worth getting upset about over that? His wife is black? Does anybody still care that people will just marry people they're attracted to?
>> No. 10845 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 8:28 pm
10845 spacer
When I went to lunch, one of the lifts was being serviced. When the other one arrived, some cunt from the floor above had put it into Sabbath mode. Every. Single. Fucking. Floor.
>> No. 10846 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 8:38 pm
10846 spacer
I had to teach someone how to do a piece of work today. It was infuriating watching how slow they were on the computer. For example, if you're searching in a location that contains hundreds of folders within it listed alphabetically and the one you need starts with an 'M' the least you could do is type that letter on your keyboard rather than slowly scrolling down.
>> No. 10847 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 9:13 pm
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>>10844

>What a fucking lovely house

Seconded. I'm eagerly awaiting old age, so I can get chintzy bedspreads and put doilies under things. At my age, it just looks like I'm squatting in a pensioner's house.
>> No. 10849 Anonymous
9th December 2016
Friday 10:32 am
10849 spacer
I applied for a job a week ago, the closing date is Monday and the interviews are at the end of next week.

I rang them to ask if those who are being invited to interview have been invited as it's getting close to next week considering that's when the interviews are.

They insisted that they aren't looking at sending out the interview invites until they\ve looked after the Monday deadline, but the interviews would then be on the Friday of the next week?

Isn't that a bit late? Are they fobbing me off with professional double speak or would they really look on Monday/ Tuesday and give people two or three days to make time for the interview?
>> No. 10850 Anonymous
9th December 2016
Friday 11:41 am
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>>10849

What sort of job is it?

The thing is with today's job market is that employers for any generic office or service sector work can get away with making people bend over backwards like that, just due to the sheer volume of applications.

If it's something more specialised where you'd expect a smaller pool of applicants then maybe take it as a warning sign of things to come if you do work for them.
>> No. 10851 Anonymous
9th December 2016
Friday 11:47 am
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>>10849
>and give people two or three days to make time for the interview?
At least in my office having to make space for going somewhere different tomorrow is not unusual, two or three days is luxury.

So maybe they're just in work mode on that, I don't know.
>> No. 10852 Anonymous
9th December 2016
Friday 1:04 pm
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>>10850

Just a small office, although they'll probably have had tonnes of applications.
>> No. 10853 Anonymous
9th December 2016
Friday 1:24 pm
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>>10850
You can tell quite a bit about how an organisation will treat you from the employer. If they're rushing to try and get the interviews done before everyone goes away for Christmas, take that as an indication of how well run they aren't.
>> No. 10854 Anonymous
12th December 2016
Monday 5:36 am
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>>10833

>ask for for opinion about women
>women shouldn't X
>BUT WHAT ABOUT MEN YOU SEXIST PIG

what the fuck are you on about
>> No. 10855 Anonymous
12th December 2016
Monday 2:22 pm
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>>10854
Welcome to the Internet, m7.
>> No. 10856 Anonymous
12th December 2016
Monday 5:11 pm
10856 spacer
Having to put out reduced items at a supermarket. When we do it, we're meant to have a manager or a member of security escort us to keep order, but it's always ends up being someone doing it alone. I had to do it the other night, and people literally sprinted at me and tried to shove me out of the way to get to the items as I was putting them out. Very unpleasant.
>> No. 10857 Anonymous
12th December 2016
Monday 5:37 pm
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A new starter from last week was let go today because it turned out he hasn't resigned from his last job and was actually doing work for them whilst getting paid by us. I've never known anything like it.
>> No. 10858 Anonymous
12th December 2016
Monday 5:56 pm
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urine-sample.jpg
108581085810858
>>10857
Pic related, I suppose.
>> No. 10859 Anonymous
12th December 2016
Monday 11:03 pm
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>>10857
I can never believe how stupid some people will behave. WTF were they thinking.
>> No. 10860 Anonymous
12th December 2016
Monday 11:43 pm
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>>10857
Can't blame him for trying. Props to the lad.
>> No. 10861 Anonymous
12th December 2016
Monday 11:57 pm
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>>10857
OK hang on. First of all, it's not illegal to have more than one job, is it? Secondly, there's no problem if he was actually doing his job for your company properly. Obviouslyif he was let go he wasn't fulfilling his contract, but you haven't gone into enough detail about the circumstances to specify why. What's the job? Was he required to show up to an office? Etc.
>> No. 10862 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 1:15 am
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>>10861
I presume he was in breach of his contract for moonlighting.
>> No. 10863 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 3:37 am
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>>10861
Well, yes it is. In every employment contract I have ever seen it stipulates that you can only work for that company and take no outside work without permission.
>> No. 10864 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 3:54 am
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>>10863

Indeed. And in every job I have ever had I have flagrantly ignored this, but ensured that they do not conflict time-wise with each other. To the point of happily chatting with managers about my sidelines.
>> No. 10865 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 7:03 am
10865 spacer
>>10861
Financial advice. He'd been brought in to take over the client bank of a recently retired adviser (which in financial advice terms is hitting the jackpot) but he spent most of last week, at least four days, "tying up loose ends" at the company he came from. That's fair enough but yesterday morning he tried leaving because something had come up again, at which point he admitted he hadn't resigned so he was sacked on the spot for taking the piss. I'm almost certain his contract states he can't work for two advice firms at once and there'd be absolutely nothing to stop him taking his client bank from the other company here. It's pure greed, which isn't uncommon amongst financial advisors, as even if he was allowed to deal with both client banks separately he shouldn't be doing work for the other company in the time he's getting paid for supposedly dealing with our clients.
>> No. 10866 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 12:52 pm
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I've passed the video interview for the civil service fast stream, which allows you to apply to several different streams.

Unforunately, the two streams I really care about I was unsuccessful for, and the ones I don't care about have accepted me.

Do you think they'd let me reapply from within to try and get in a different department or do you think they'd ban shit like that to stop people being trained for two years then leaving?
>> No. 10867 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 2:26 pm
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>>10866

If I were you I'd keep your foot in the door.
>> No. 10868 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 3:28 pm
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>>10867
This, keep hanging on anyway.
>> No. 10869 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 4:33 pm
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>>10867
>>10868
Nice one lads, got in contact with them and they said I can always reapply, there's no ban on it and it happens often enough.

Can't imagine why they allow it though, seems silly to spend two years training somebody for them to fuck off out of your department.
>> No. 10870 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 4:54 pm
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>>10869
>seems silly to spend two years training somebody for them to fuck off out of your department.
Not at all. If that happens, you're doing something wrong. Most of the time it's not paying them enough.
>> No. 10871 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 5:31 pm
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>>10870
To be honest I was surprised at how lucrative it was for the government. It's nowhere near private sector salary but considering it goes up to 55k after a few years that did shock me.
>> No. 10872 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 5:33 pm
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Lads, I really don't know what to do here.

My office manager brought me in for a meeting today. It was the Christmas party on Friday night and in a drunken state my hand accidentally brushed against someone's boob. Completely unintentional. Anyway, when she was telling the office manager about this she was crying. Apparently she doesn't want me to get into trouble but she wants me to know that I've upset her and to talk/apologise about it. The office manager said she knows I'm not like that at all, it wasn't as if I groped her and it's probably more personal issues with her, possibly past trauma, than what I did. Now, I'm mortified if I've upset her but I've talked it through with a few (brash female) colleagues and they said she's being hypersensitive, if she didn't want me to get in trouble she wouldn't have raised it in the first place and if I say anything that's admitting guilt and incriminating myself.
>> No. 10873 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 6:22 pm
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>>10872

She's the office damage case. You've been in a very unfortunate position here, could have happened to anyone.

That's if I take you at your word that it was a drunken accident, of course. For the sake of this post I will.

You know those girls in school who claimed to have been raped about 3 times and didn't learn their lesson until people stopped giving a shit? They grow up into mediocre adults and they have to work somewhere. Looks like one of them works in your office.

Your management luckily seem to understand the implications- It's a massive ball-ache to deal with a situation like this, and they'd really rather not have to. It's her word against yours ultimately; if push comes to shove they'll take her side because she's the poor defenceless victimised woman and you're the nasty perv who felt her up, naturally, but there's not much they can realistically do in absence of evidence.

I'd recommend you simply deny all knowledge, say you can't remember anything like that happening (emphasise that part) and blame the alcohol. Apologise for if you did anything untoward, but insist you don't remember. The rumours will fly around for a couple of weeks about which one of you is lying, and after that it will simply be forgotten about.
>> No. 10874 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 7:11 pm
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>>10873
>I'd recommend you simply deny all knowledge, say you can't remember anything like that happening

It happened in a restaurant in front of people, although evidently it was so harmless that nobody made an issue out of it. I was sat next to the office manager at the time and afterwards I apparently said something to her along the lines of "oh fuck, I'm going to get my name put on the sex register and I didn't even mean to do anything."

It happened but it was the absolute lightest of grazes, nothing near a fondle. The people I've talked to about it say she's overreacting and it's certainly not the thing to cry about unless there's already underlying issues there.
>> No. 10875 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 7:15 pm
10875 spacer
At the end of the Christmas party one of my shift managers (female) started pushing me as to whether I "like" her friend. She wouldn't drop it, and kept nagging me.
Probably was trying to get her odd looking friend laid, but she's a shitty wingwoman. Needs to work on her technique.
I was stoned & drunk at the time and didn't really want to tell her that all I'd want is a shag and even then I'm wasn't enthusiastic about the idea.

Anyway being stoned at the time and the language used ("like", what, are we 12?) it felt a bit surreal.
>> No. 10876 Anonymous
15th December 2016
Thursday 5:23 pm
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I've an interview tomorrow for a really good job and accordingly I feel too nervous to eat and my arse is running like a tap everytime I try and eat.
>> No. 10877 Anonymous
15th December 2016
Thursday 7:51 pm
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>>10876

Apologies if my suggestions seem obvious, but I know how scatterbrained I get when I'm nervous. Try the following:

1) Stop drinking any source of caffeine, replace with herbal tea or water
2) Do some form of challenging exercise (as in, gets you out of breath for a few minutes), preferably resistance based like calisthenics, something that requires focus and effort
3) Try some breathing exercises to lower your heart rate, sitting in a cool dark room with some music
4) Once you've done those, eat a meal made up of familiar (i.e. regularly consumed) foods that consists mainly of heavy sources of protein, eggs being ideal

Following the above checklist usually sorts out my nerves and my arse. Results may vary for your particular nerves and arse.
>> No. 10878 Anonymous
15th December 2016
Thursday 8:34 pm
10878 spacer
A couple of things from today:-

• The marketing department asked if I could read through some material for our website relaunch before they pass it on to the directors. I was tempted to re-write the whole thing as I'm not entirely convinced they actually grasp what we do at work.

• My boss spent over an hour on the phone, at their desk in an open plan office, complaining to Amazon because she'd signed up to Prime without realising and was demanding a refund for the £80 that'd been taken from her account. She was screaming, shouting, swearing, demanding to speak to managers, threatening to get get solicitors involved, all sorts. She's the least professional boss I've ever had.
>> No. 10879 Anonymous
15th December 2016
Thursday 9:00 pm
10879 spacer
My mate is 24 and earns nearly 60 grand a year and I'm jealous.
>> No. 10880 Anonymous
15th December 2016
Thursday 9:10 pm
10880 spacer
>>10877

Very kind of you lad, thanks, I'm a bit late this way round but I'll bear it in mind for future interviews.

>>10879
Doing what?
>> No. 10881 Anonymous
16th December 2016
Friday 12:47 am
10881 spacer
The secretary to one of the senior managers was drawing up a seating plan for all the "important" people that were going to come for a meeting with the senior managers. She placed brackets around the external members' names when she was drawing up the list. She then placed triple brackets around the director's name.

I wonder if she secretly shitposts on imageboards since the director is Jewish.

Also, we have colour printers, why didn't she just use a different colour for the external members?
>> No. 10882 Anonymous
16th December 2016
Friday 6:48 am
10882 spacer
>>10881
Some managers get funny about printing in colour because it's more expensive than black and white.
>> No. 10883 Anonymous
16th December 2016
Friday 12:54 pm
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>>10881
>She then placed triple brackets around the director's name.

My housemate and I both corpsed. Thank you for this.
>> No. 10885 Anonymous
16th December 2016
Friday 12:58 pm
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>>10883

>corpsed

Oh, really what were you performing in? A Pair of Pretentious Pricks: Live?
>> No. 10886 Anonymous
16th December 2016
Friday 1:57 pm
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>>10883
>corpsed

What?
>> No. 10887 Anonymous
16th December 2016
Friday 2:33 pm
10887 spacer
>>10886

corpse
verb
theatre slang to laugh or cause to laugh involuntarily or inopportunely while on stage


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2FNaXLe_ro
>> No. 10888 Anonymous
16th December 2016
Friday 7:40 pm
10888 spacer
>>10879
Is she really hot? I didn't know escorts got that much.
>> No. 10896 Anonymous
18th December 2016
Sunday 4:11 am
10896 spacer
>>10888

Escorts can make considerably more than that. It's not uncommon for a girl to make a grand a night.
>> No. 10897 Anonymous
18th December 2016
Sunday 4:44 am
10897 spacer
>>10896

*Charge* a grand a night. Not necessarily reflected in take home.
>> No. 10899 Anonymous
18th December 2016
Sunday 10:25 am
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>>10897
Yeah they have to get there so that's maybe a tenner in return tickets and pay at least £5 a day to keep their advert up on adultwork. That only leaves them with £985.00 to take home.
>> No. 10901 Anonymous
18th December 2016
Sunday 10:41 am
10901 spacer
>>10899

Heh.
>> No. 10906 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 9:50 pm
10906 spacer
Someone at worked shared an article complaining about Git being a weapon of the patriarchy, because it bakes a committers name into the commit hash in such a way as to be prohibitively difficult to rewrite history if a trans person (or married woman) changes their name.

I literally can't imagine living in a world where you are paranoid to the extent that you imagine that a version control system is poised against you.
>> No. 10907 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 9:58 pm
10907 spacer
>>10906
No. You are thinking about this the wrong way. Most people in the western world are like spoiled kids living with their parents. They have all their needs and wants met, so the only thing left to moan about is ridiculous shite.
>> No. 10908 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 1:06 am
10908 spacer
>>10906
Git is male violence crystallised in a version control system. Would any woman use 'push' and 'pull' instead of 'give' and 'take'? And that's just the beginning of the disgusting ideology this software pushes.
>master
>insertions(+)
>--force
I can't type any more now. I'm literally shaking with rage.
>> No. 10909 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 2:41 am
10909 spacer
>>10907

If that were true arms sales to despots, prison reform, higher minimum wage to name three not "ridiculous" things the "left" has brought up in recent memory, then what does it say about the right that all they do is whinge and bitch about the left?
>> No. 10910 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 8:44 am
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>>10908

Doug Crockford was banned from the Nodevember conference for less:

http://atom-morgan.github.io/in-defense-of-douglas-crockford
>> No. 10911 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 6:20 pm
10911 spacer
>>10910

I feel like those kinds of incident are more prevalent in something like the coding industry prescisely because of the stereotypical shy, socially awkward geeks who comprise it. If they tried that sort of nonsense to take a speaker off say, and oil rig engineering talk I doubt it would lead to anything. Generally the trend seems to be the the SJW sorts only make any headway in "geek" subcultures, which they seem to be taking over in an almost imperialist fashion.

These guys were probably rejected by every girl they ever tried to speak to when they were younger, but instead they worked hard to build a career. As an adult they find women elbowing their way into said career using sheer dishonesty and slander, and they lack the self confidence to stand up to it. The irony of such a vicious cycle saddens me deeply.
>> No. 10912 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 7:29 pm
10912 spacer
What's the consensus on going to a job interview that is meant to be half an hour but you end up chatting away for closer to an hour?

Even at the end I asked two questions and said I was cautious that I was holding their time up and they didn't seem bothered and give me a ten minute response to a question on how they measure success in the role.

I would have taken that as a good sign until I left and realised they didn't ask for any references or discuss pay with me.

Any widsom lads? You lot are usually quite spot on.
>> No. 10913 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 7:41 pm
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>>10912

Absolutely a good sign. If you were a complete no-hoper, they'd be shoving you towards the door with great haste. Running well over the allotted time makes you a strong favourite. Don't worry about the fact that they didn't discuss pay or references; those practicalities are often delegated to someone from HR rather than the interview panel.
>> No. 10914 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 8:12 pm
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>>10910
>crybullying
Good word.
>> No. 10915 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 8:32 pm
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>>10912
I don't think I've ever had a job interview where they've asked about references.

If you want to steer the interview towards remuneration then I always bring up employee benefits; group life, what the pension contributions are, income protection, etc.
>> No. 10916 Anonymous
21st December 2016
Wednesday 1:31 am
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>>10913
I once went to a job interview at a restaurant after being up all night, with a bag of mcat in my pocket. The guy before me was interviewed for at least 20 minutes, I even had to nip into the toilet for a bump while I waited. Something physiological happened though as I realised that I was in the middle of a terrible idea, and my mouth dried up completely, eyes started squinting, and I started to get paranoid. My interview last about 3 minutes until the interviewer said he had everything he needed and he'd call me.
>> No. 10917 Anonymous
21st December 2016
Wednesday 5:29 am
10917 spacer
>>10916
And did he call you?
>> No. 10918 Anonymous
21st December 2016
Wednesday 5:44 am
10918 spacer
>>10917

Called him a cunt, I guess.
>> No. 10919 Anonymous
28th December 2016
Wednesday 2:28 pm
10919 spacer
I remember when I started my first office job and wasn't sure wether I should shake hands with women or hug them as shaking hands was too formal.

I walked round the office being introduced by my boss and shook hands with the men and hugged the women. There was a good 15 people in the office too.

Even though I don't work there anymore it sitll makes me die a little inside and nobody ever mentioned it but I remember getting a few strange looks.

Why the fuck would I think that that was what you did?

Nice to get that off my chest.
>> No. 10920 Anonymous
28th December 2016
Wednesday 2:49 pm
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>>10919
id probably just ahake the hands of the men and just raise my eyebrows and smile at the women
>> No. 10921 Anonymous
28th December 2016
Wednesday 3:31 pm
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>>10919
It's the what to do when you leave a job I'm not 100% on. I mean, most men hug and kiss the women on the cheek but I'd feel a bit awkward doing that.
>> No. 10922 Anonymous
28th December 2016
Wednesday 7:07 pm
10922 spacer
>>10921
In my first job, I remember that I slipped a couple of fingers into the women, and high-fived the men. I got a couple of weird looks.
>> No. 10923 Anonymous
28th December 2016
Wednesday 8:04 pm
10923 spacer
>>10922
Your mistake was only two fingers. Everyone knows the proper etiquette is two in the pink and one in the stink.
>> No. 10924 Anonymous
29th December 2016
Thursday 12:33 pm
10924 spacer
The company I work for has recently added a new layer of management. In order to justify their existence they've started getting a right hard on for MI so they can measure all of the things. However, they're not entirely sure what they want to measure or how - they simply want to make things "more efficient" - nor do they fully understand what our department does so the format changes almost every week, to the point you'll be spending half a day retrieving useless information to put in their pointless MI spreadsheets.

Throw in the fact that the real issues aren't that the department is inefficient and are instead that we're understaffed, which doesn't help that they keep hiring trainees instead of experienced people because they're considerably cheaper, and under pressure to get work out despite a number of the cases referred to us being either incomplete or too poor a quality to be able to do anything with it then all this MI is achieving is giving us less time to actually do what we're being paid to do.
>> No. 10925 Anonymous
29th December 2016
Thursday 12:44 pm
10925 spacer
>>10924
>Throw in the fact that the real issues aren't that the department is inefficient and are instead that we're understaffed
Same thing as far as management is concerned.
>> No. 10926 Anonymous
29th December 2016
Thursday 12:44 pm
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>>10924

You've nailed the structure of virtually every workplace I've ever been in.
>> No. 10927 Anonymous
29th December 2016
Thursday 1:07 pm
10927 spacer
>>10925
It's been pointed out for at least three years repeatedly that this department is understaffed. However, the management aren't prepared to consider expanding the team until it's proven we're working as efficiently as possible. The management can't name one specific area we're inefficient at, other than a general they want the work to be completed faster, and I don't think they'd have a clue how to effectively measure this either; every case that comes in is bespoke so won't be the same as another case in the same area. It's pure penny pinching, knowing the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
>> No. 10928 Anonymous
29th December 2016
Thursday 1:33 pm
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Alright lads this thread has genuinely been stellar for advice, so any input from you lads is appreciated as other posters seem to have got.

I applied for the civil service fast stream, like most people, my first and ideal choice is the diplomatic stream, I have a background in stuying abroad and international politics and it's a passion for me in my own spare time.

Unforunately I didn't pass the interview for that, but I did pass it for the Digital and Tech fast stream.

Both offer similar pay and progression, but one obviously sees you rising to the top of international politics and one means you managing code monkeys, rolling out websites and looking for ways to improve the business side of things.

I don't think I'm allowed, if I accept a place, to reapply whilst I'm working there. Do I take a good, comfortably job and let it be or do I turn it down and risk applying again (even though I could quite easily fail again and again, year after year)?

Any advice is appreciated, I'm desperate to get my life started with a proper career but at the same time don't want to wake up at 45 and wish I'd took the rough and tumble of a few years extra so I could achieve a dream.

[/blog]
>> No. 10929 Anonymous
29th December 2016
Thursday 1:57 pm
10929 spacer
>>10928
You get your foot in the door, then you try a sideways move. I know a fair few people who've taken office jobs at the local council as a way of entry into the organisation and then prowl the internal job ads to try and get into finance or something, although a lot of those jobs tend to be earmarked for someone already working in that department.

A lot of large graduate employers have schemes where it's three months in marketing, finance, logistics, etc. so you can understand the business more and decide at the end, now you have some experience, which area you'd like to work in. Surprised the civil service doesn't offer something like that, as I know the NHS does.
>> No. 10930 Anonymous
29th December 2016
Thursday 2:09 pm
10930 spacer
>>10929

Thanks for the advice anon, I have considered this, but apparently they're a bit funny with fast streamers as basically they wittle you down from tens of thousands of people and then expect you to be super committed, so they try to discourage wasting two years rapidly training you for you to fuck off elsewhere.

I have experience in the kind of thing needed for the diplomatic service now but then it'd mean spending a few years dicking around on computers which isn't entirely relevant, whereas I could probably take a job back in politics which would seem more relevant for a bit.

It's a catch 22, I'm not adverse to the idea of working with computers, I actually quite like the idea of it because I'm a bit of a nerd, but it just doesn't give me the same excitement as the other offers.
>> No. 10931 Anonymous
30th December 2016
Friday 10:27 am
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>>10929

The civil service does not work like that, ladm7.
>> No. 10936 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 11:36 am
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Fucking recruitment consultants. I haven't been job hunting since late 2015 but they still pester me with calls.
>> No. 10937 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 5:43 pm
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>>10936
>Fucking recruitment consultants. I haven't been job hunting since late 2015 but they still pester me with calls.

When you start to hate your current job, those calls very quickly turn from a nuisance to a godsend.
>> No. 10938 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 6:36 pm
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>>10931
The civil service does not work.
>> No. 10939 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 6:08 pm
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"Whilst you were off we decided, between ourselves, that you'd be best placed to deal with the thing [that none of us want to do]."
>> No. 10940 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 6:30 pm
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This is my first time working in an office. I have been working for eight months now. My manager is an absolute moron. I thought she was okay, but not only is she a moron, she is also a cunt. She doesn't know how to use Excel, and always asks me for help. Being a naive twat that I am, I helped her. I helped her a lot. I did many of the rubbish she went around presenting to people. That's all well and good.

A position opened up a month ago. It is just a tiny bit better than my position now. I wanted it, everyone knew I wanted it. She said good luck and that she would put in a good word for me. Come today, turns out she basically nominated this other lad who works alongside me, who does fuck all. He doesn't do anything to help her. In fact, most times he is sarcastic and kind of a cock to her, but she fucking loves him enough that she sings his praises whenever she gets a chance apparently.

I fucking wish I knew this.

Today when she asked for help, I told her I was busy, and she stood there for a while, and just fucked off. I think it is time I look for a new job.

Fucking bastards. Is this how an office job is? Constant tedium, boredom, rumours, and dealing with people who are just awful? I wish I became a mechanic. I don't know why I let my parents talk me out of it when I was 18.
>> No. 10941 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 6:57 pm
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>>10940
He was a cock, you were not. She could have put in a good word for you, but then she'd have been stuck with the cock. Instead, she decided to make the cock someone else's problem.

This sort of shit happens all the time, and unless you're a petty empire builder yourself it's a good sign that it's a shit workplace and you are better off working elsewhere. If it's your first proper job, you can explain away packing it in after a year, so consider shopping your CV around. I won't say "update your CV" because it should really be a living document that is always up-to-date, rather than something that only gets dusted off when you want a new job.
>> No. 10942 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 7:06 pm
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>>10940
>In fact, most times he is sarcastic and kind of a cock to her,
Sounds like she wants his cock.
>> No. 10944 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 7:26 pm
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>>10941
This. You're not going to get ahead if you make yourself irreplaceable in your current role. Who else is going to help her on Excel and do work she can take the credit for if you're further up the career ladder?
>> No. 10945 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 9:54 pm
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House_of_cards2.jpg
109451094510945
>>10940
You know what you have to do now.
>> No. 10946 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 10:06 pm
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>>10940

>I wish I became a mechanic. I don't know why I let my parents talk me out of it when I was 18.

It's not too late m8. Call your local FE college, ask them about motor maintenance courses. Most colleges run courses part-time in the evenings; apprenticeships are also an option if you want to learn and earn. Act now, before the rot sets in and you resign yourself to your fate.
>> No. 10947 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 6:59 pm
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>>2521
>Everyone getting excited if they were bringing in a buffet for some pointless meeting full off bullshit management doublespeak, flow charts and stupid acronyms purely because of the chance of a free sausage roll or whatever.

I was in on a presentation today which meant that lunch was brought in. The number of people who kept hovering outside to see if the leftovers were being brought out yet was ridiculous. It's like they'd never been fed. All for a free quarter of a sandwich or bit of quiche. Bloody gannets.

>>3049
>My last boss had a particular verbal habit.

I've started working with someone who keeps using the word 'cognisant' every opportunity he can shoehorn it in. Gets right on my tits.
>> No. 10948 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 7:21 pm
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>>10940
I've never worked in an office but it sounds to me like you did all the right stuff. Worked your arse off and sucked up to the boss to get a promotion, and when some moron got it instead, told her to fuck off. I dunno what else you're supposed to do.
>> No. 10949 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 7:55 pm
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>>10941
>>10944
I realised that, but then again the lad doesn't listen and is incompetent. How does he get to climb the ladder? Doesn't make sense.

She tried to ask for help with her shite performance graphs and "deliverables." I told her to fuck off again, that I was too busy. She said that lately I was "too busy," and just walked off. Maybe I might be irrational, but she angers me a lot, so I avoided her like the plague the whole week.


Anyway, I learnt a lot. I think most office cultures are probably like this, and although there were some highlights, most of the time it just seems like a huge scam by society that everyone is in on. Do a non-job, to get paid, to buy stuff.

I have looked into >>10946's suggestion and will be starting an evening course in March. (Thanks lad).

In the meantime, I have arranged for a couple of interviews come next week. Hopefully, I can just fuck off.

>>10945
I have never got around to watching this, so I am not sure what your message is.

>>10948
Retail, for all the shit it gets, is fairer I think. I worked in a fair bit of shops when I was studying my A-Levels and through Uni, and a couple of times I got promoted after working my arse off. Holland & Barrett tried to recruit me to study for some certification about vitamin's or whatever when I was working there while studying for my degree. It might seem like dead-end, but it didn't seem so miserable.

I don't know, maybe I am just a more hands on kind of person who dislikes backstabbing way too much.


Anyway lads, sorry to bore you, but since this is my first office job, I'm not sure about what to do, etc. If I am getting interviewed for other jobs, should I tell my manager? Or should I just give them my notice after I get accepted by whatever company I applied for?
>> No. 10950 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 8:05 pm
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>>10949
Don't tell your manager anything until you've got a new job.
>> No. 10951 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 9:43 pm
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>>10949

>I have looked into >>10946's suggestion and will be starting an evening course in March. (Thanks lad).

Good man.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0
>> No. 10952 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 11:02 am
10952 spacer
>>10949
>I realised that, but then again the lad doesn't listen and is incompetent. How does he get to climb the ladder? Doesn't make sense.
It's because she can get rid of him and now someone else has to deal with him instead. It's called getting kicked upstairs.
>> No. 10953 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 1:39 pm
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>>10952
Bit of a shit idea especially as OP has no reason to put themselves out for their manager any more, and is now interviewing for other jobs.
>> No. 10954 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 2:00 pm
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>>10949

I enjoyed my time in retail a lot more than I enjoyed any of the office jobs I've had.

Shite company, shite management, shite pay and conditions. But what you at least have is a close knit team; you all have to put up with the bullshit together and it builds a familial bond. There's usually some level of genuine meritocracy because the manager of your shop wants someone competent to run the show while he sits on his arse eating digestives in the office. The caveat is that it's easy to get up to a junior management role, but impossible to get any further.

Offices on the other hand are alienating. Your manager isn't even really sure what he's supposed to be managing so he just wastes your time instead. Your colleagues are actively unhelpful because, unless they are new and hopelessly naive, they realise being helpful is harmful to their chances of recognition and success. There is no cohesion, only bickering between splintered factions, gossip, drama and politics.

Of course it's all relative, and retail only looks good in comparison to office work because office work is literally purgatory.
>> No. 10955 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 2:25 pm
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>>10953
That's her loss. Hopefully she'll learn from the experience and next time she doesn't want to deal with someone she'll actually try and manage the problem herself rather than handing it off to someone else. However, people like that tend not to be learning animals.
>> No. 10956 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 2:45 pm
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>>10955
Well yeah exactly. She must have bee pretty naive to expect OP to continue doing half of her job for her after fucking him over like that.
>> No. 10957 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 3:31 pm
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>>10955
She can't learn unless she understands what she's done wrong. I think next time she asks for help and he says he is busy, suggest that [name of guy who never helps her] could help her. And if he's already been kicked upstairs feign that you'd forgotten.
>> No. 10958 Anonymous
16th January 2017
Monday 6:44 pm
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My boss doesn't know what 'overview' means and keeps using it when she really wants an in-depth review of something, including making recommendations.
>> No. 10959 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 7:27 pm
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>>10957
No, I don't like doing something like this. I would much rather ignore her.

Sorry to use this thread like a blog lads. We had a massive "all staff" meeting today to discuss our performance over the Christmas period and our retention rate. It is like a revolving door for some of the junior positions, so management are really unhappy about it.

Without giving too much away, I currently work in "regulations and compliance," I had an interview for a similar position yesterday, and it went well. One of the lads on the interview panel used to live on my street. Small world.

I also had another interview to do with "procurement" for a civil service department on Monday. Shite pay, but they are willing to fund and help me get into the chartered procurement whathaveyou-institution. It went very, very well. Maybe the other people they interviewed were all morons.

The moron manager is getting another junior-admin lad we hired in November to help her out with her graphs. I struggle to understand how she made it this far.

All is looking good so far.
>> No. 10962 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 8:43 pm
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>>10959

Oh, GCHQlad.

>>10961

No, if it was a rejection you wouldn't hear anything mate.
>> No. 10963 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 9:17 pm
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>>10961

I got my current job because a former interviewer recommended recommended me. It does matter, mate, and it will come. There is an end in sight.
>> No. 10964 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 10:31 pm
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>>10961
Have you been improving your CV over the two months? Rehearsing interviews?
>> No. 10969 Anonymous
20th January 2017
Friday 6:34 am
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>>10968

Just think of it as a numbers game. You're guaranteed to succeed eventually if you just keep trying.
>> No. 10973 Anonymous
20th January 2017
Friday 8:25 pm
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Applying for and acquiring a job is almost exactly the same as online dating, in principle.
>> No. 10974 Anonymous
20th January 2017
Friday 8:28 pm
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Had a conference call today. I'd completely forgotten about the heavy breathing sex pest.
>> No. 10975 Anonymous
21st January 2017
Saturday 1:58 am
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>>10974
I'm not sure what's worse, the ones who don't know they can mute themselves if they're not talking or the ones that do know but deliberately won't do it.
>> No. 10976 Anonymous
21st January 2017
Saturday 11:47 am
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>>10973
In that I'm horrendous at it, and the only people that want me are actually robots?
>> No. 10977 Anonymous
21st January 2017
Saturday 11:47 am
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>>10973
In that I'm horrendous at it, and the only people that want me are actually robots?
>> No. 10978 Anonymous
21st January 2017
Saturday 12:50 pm
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>>10973

I'm not sure my strategy of aggressively pursuing fat girls with low self esteem will get me a job.
>> No. 10979 Anonymous
21st January 2017
Saturday 1:12 pm
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>>10978

I suppose in business terms that would be akin to immediately becoming head of a failing company.
>> No. 10980 Anonymous
24th January 2017
Tuesday 6:34 pm
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Are those "if you leave we'll deduct all training/exam costs within the past two years from your pay" policies enforceable? My company has one, requiring you to sign something agreeing to this each time you make a study request, but I'd like to jump ship and I reckon I'd owe at least £2k if I did.
>> No. 10981 Anonymous
24th January 2017
Tuesday 7:43 pm
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>>10980
>My company has one, requiring you to sign something agreeing to this each time you make a study request
Sounds like they've taken the necessary steps to make it cast iron. Whether they'd enforce it is another matter. In the public sector they almost certainly would, and in the third sector it would be highly likely. In the private sector they might not bother if it'll get in the way of you leaving on relatively good terms.
>> No. 10982 Anonymous
24th January 2017
Tuesday 8:01 pm
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>>10981

I'm dubious on this. Just because you've signed something doesn't make it legally binding. I mean, seriously, do you expect to work for this company until retirement age? I'd call bad faith. Depends on how long you ahve been there and how much you need a decent reference though.
>> No. 10983 Anonymous
24th January 2017
Tuesday 8:14 pm
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>>10982
Be as dubious about it as you like. It doesn't make it any less accurate. It's settled law that if your terms of employment say training costs are recoverable then pisstaking aside they are recoverable. It doesn't get any more certain than having you sign for it every time.
>> No. 11033 Anonymous
31st January 2017
Tuesday 10:03 pm
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My boss has started referring to herself as my "work wife". It's now caught on and other people keep calling her that to me, too.
>> No. 11034 Anonymous
31st January 2017
Tuesday 10:08 pm
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>>10982
>Just because you've signed something doesn't make it legally binding.
Erm, you do know what "freedom of contract" means, right? The short version is that it is binding unless the law says it isn't.
>> No. 11035 Anonymous
31st January 2017
Tuesday 10:14 pm
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>>11034
>"freedom of contract"

Free man of the land?
>> No. 11036 Anonymous
31st January 2017
Tuesday 10:21 pm
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'I'm not your boss, nor do I even work in the same group as you, but I'll give you tasks to do and expect you to do them first.'
>> No. 11037 Anonymous
31st January 2017
Tuesday 10:37 pm
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>>11035
Sorry, lad. No amount of crying how you're a SOVRIN HUMAN BEAN gets you out of obligations you've freely entered into.
>> No. 11051 Anonymous
9th February 2017
Thursday 5:31 pm
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Lads, I need a bit of advice.

The company I work for are getting a bad reputation in the industry I work in, to the point that I know people in various parts of the country have been declined job interviews solely on the basis that the other firm has seen our company name on the CV. This is solely down to a division I don't work in who are definitely into dodgy business practices.

Should I cut and run now? I imagine it's only going to get worse, especially if the FCA ever come in.
>> No. 11052 Anonymous
9th February 2017
Thursday 6:22 pm
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>>11051
Yes, you should think about your exit strategy is my advice.
>> No. 11053 Anonymous
9th February 2017
Thursday 10:49 pm
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>>11052
This. I wouldn't leave before securing another job, but I'd be trying to secure another job PDQ.
>> No. 11054 Anonymous
9th February 2017
Thursday 10:52 pm
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>>11037
This legal decision written by a Canadian judge who has successfully challenged back the various "freeman of the land" ideas in court, is very interesting. It thoroughly debunks the whole thing - apparently this idea was quite big in Canada for a while. Recently I've seen some billboards in the UK with this nonsense on, I hope it doesn't catch on here.

http://www.canlii.org/en/ab/abqb/doc/2012/2012abqb571/2012abqb571.html
>> No. 11055 Anonymous
10th February 2017
Friday 12:43 am
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>>11053
>PDQ
What?
>> No. 11056 Anonymous
10th February 2017
Friday 12:44 am
11056 spacer
>>11055
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=pdq
>> No. 11057 Anonymous
10th February 2017
Friday 6:54 am
11057 spacer
>>11056
QED.
>> No. 11058 Anonymous
10th February 2017
Friday 9:31 am
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>>11057
It's spelt "▯" nowadays.
>> No. 11073 Anonymous
13th February 2017
Monday 4:45 pm
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A new guy's just started in my department doing a relatively similar job to me. He's got the same first name and surname initial as me but that's where the similarity ends. He somehow landed the job over the more qualified candidate as the latter came to the interview and didn't seem "fun" enough (and apparently "very large" according to one of the interviewers) despite being leagues ahead in practice and on paper.

Might turn out to be a nice bloke but I'm apprehensive at best. I'm already writhing from the "Lol, X? Which X do you mean, there's two of them xDDDDDD" remarks. It's driving me barmy.
>> No. 11074 Anonymous
13th February 2017
Monday 4:48 pm
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>>11073
Furthermore, I used to go to primary school with him. He was a know-it-all bell-end with a neurotic twin sister. He wears the same kind of glasses now and I just can't help but see 11 year-old him every time he walks into the office.
>> No. 11075 Anonymous
13th February 2017
Monday 5:46 pm
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>>11074

Tell everyone in the office embarrassing things about him from school. Ideally, he would have had some cruel but playful sounding nickname you can get everyone to start using.

But it sounds more likely it was you who got bullied than him, by the tone of your post.
>> No. 11076 Anonymous
13th February 2017
Monday 6:00 pm
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>>11073>>11074
We've got two Tracey's in our admin team. "I'm Tracey B, she's Tracey C. Like the Spice Girls!"
>> No. 11078 Anonymous
14th February 2017
Tuesday 1:06 am
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>>11074
Did you stick it in his sister?
>> No. 11079 Anonymous
14th February 2017
Tuesday 1:21 am
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>>11076
Tell them they're both Scary.
>> No. 11080 Anonymous
14th February 2017
Tuesday 11:50 am
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I'm trying to get to a conference, and management is arguing about having to pay £200 in travel and accommodation.

Why am I still working here?
>> No. 11081 Anonymous
14th February 2017
Tuesday 12:21 pm
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>>11080

Because semi-automatic rifles are illegal.
>> No. 11121 Anonymous
22nd February 2017
Wednesday 6:32 pm
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An email was sent out today to check out our contact details on our "business continuity plan", in case our office was burnt down or something like that, to make sure it's up to date. It has everyone's address, personal phone number and contact details for their next of kin. It's viewable by the entire company.

Everyone in the company now knows my address and mobile number. I also know theirs, which means I could always send some anonymous hate mail their way.
>> No. 11129 Anonymous
26th February 2017
Sunday 8:55 pm
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I'm starting a new office job tomorrow lads. What are some dos and dont's? I got all my uncomfortable clothes and very uncomfortable shoes ready. Why are dress/office shoes so uncomfortable? Jesus.
>> No. 11130 Anonymous
26th February 2017
Sunday 9:01 pm
11130 spacer
>>11129
They usually need some time to be broken in, although the last pair I got are some of those Clarks cushion plus shoes, which I think are aimed at pensioners, and they're very comfy.
>> No. 11131 Anonymous
26th February 2017
Sunday 9:21 pm
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>>11129
Take your cue from what everyone else wears. Except for anyone that actually says to you "you can take your cue from me". Without exception, their dress sense will be ... "interesting".
>> No. 11132 Anonymous
26th February 2017
Sunday 9:49 pm
11132 spacer
>>11129
>I got all my uncomfortable clothes and very uncomfortable shoes ready. Why are dress/office shoes so uncomfortable? Jesus.

Get some good quality full-leather shoes, and in a couple of months they'll be so comfortable that you'll never want to take them off.
>> No. 11133 Anonymous
26th February 2017
Sunday 9:50 pm
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>>11129
From my little experience in the office of about two weeks I have found that following what everyone else does seems to work. As for uncomfortable shoes. Going to have to deal with it. I now have holes on each of my heels. Somehow wearing trainers and thick comfy socks on the weekend make them hurt more. Looks like wearing plasters is on the cards.

Also how long until I'm not perceived as incompetent as all my coworkers have had years and experience meanwhile I look like the work experience lad?
>> No. 11134 Anonymous
26th February 2017
Sunday 9:53 pm
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>>11133
>Also how long until I'm not perceived as incompetent as all my coworkers have had years and experience meanwhile I look like the work experience lad?

42.
>> No. 11135 Anonymous
26th February 2017
Sunday 10:40 pm
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>>11133

Everyone in an office is only copying what they saw someone else do. They seldom know anything more than a part of everything that needs to be done, and even then usually it's only been learnt by rote. Nobody knows why it needs to be done, half the time. This goes all the way up to management level- in fact, the higher up the chain, the less people seem to know about what the work really involves.

Bureaucracy really is absurd.
>> No. 11136 Anonymous
26th February 2017
Sunday 11:47 pm
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>>11129
Are you wearing "uncomfortable clothes... and shoes" because you've been told you should or because you think you should? Different offices have different expectations, if you're not in a customer-facing position there's no real reason you need to dress up smart every day. See what everyone else does - at my place it's pretty standard for people to wear jeans, open-neck shirt and trainers/casual shoes.
>> No. 11137 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 12:35 am
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>>11132
What cheap brands/types would you recommend?

>>11136
Well, I haven't been there since my interview. I walked though the office that day, and everyone was dressed "smart," which just basically means wearing uncomfortable shoes for 9 hours, etc.

Since it is my first day, I don't want to take any liberties, so I will have to dress for the occasion.
>> No. 11138 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 4:46 am
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>>11137

Good dress shoes start at about £125 for a pair of Indian-made Loakes. If you look after them, they'll last for many years with regular re-soling. If that's too rich for your blood, try a pair of Hush Puppies. They have soft pig leather uppers and trainer-style polyurethane soles. They aren't as smart or as durable as proper dress shoes, but they're very comfortable.

Also, learn how to polish a pair of shoes properly.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Zvq25y2xk
>> No. 11139 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 4:54 am
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>>11138
Thanks...

I have £60 to my name. I will stick with the Shoezone shoes.
>> No. 11140 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 7:25 am
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>>11139
You might catch the arse-end of the sales.

Debenhams have Red Herring shoes for £15 and Hush Puppies for £21. I've worn Red Herring shoes whilst working on the shop floor at Tesco and they are surprisingly decent.

http://debenhams.com/men/shoes-boots/shoes/smart-shoes?sid=*min_price

Slaters usually has a few shoes in the £15 - £25 range, no idea on quality.

https://www.slaters.co.uk/mens-shoes#q=&idx=live_en_products_price_default_asc&p=0&hFR[categories.level0][0]=Shoes&nR[visibility_catalog][=][0]=1&is_v=1

Clarks will be a bit more unless they have sale stock (I got a pair reduced from £60 to £19 the other month) or they have an outlet shop selling footwear from previous seasons, as if someone can tell the difference between a 2017 black shoe and a 2016 black shoe.
>> No. 11141 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 7:05 pm
11141 spacer
I bring news

Plasters on heels make all the difference with uncomfortable dress shoes. Also water is wet.
>> No. 11142 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 8:39 pm
11142 spacer
>>11139
Get down to TK Maxx.
It can be pretty hit-and-miss when it comes to shoes, but recently I found a pair of lambretta branded shoes for £35. Full leather uppers, but I could do with ripping out the vinyl insole and replacing it. They were so cheap because the stitching is a bit mangled around the welt but it's barely noticeable even up close.
>> No. 11143 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 9:28 pm
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I found out today that I've been blamed for losing a client because a piece of work that should have been turned around in two weeks wasn't done for two and a half months. The person who has been spreading this around is the very same person who sat on the case for almost two months and then passed it to me without even doing what they were supposed to properly.
>> No. 11144 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 10:01 pm
11144 spacer
>>11143

Shit on his/her cornflakes/soup/chips, mate. Take no prisoners.
>> No. 11145 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 10:18 pm
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>>11143
Unless you've got solid evidence in the form of an email trail to back yourself up, you'll just have to accept it. Spike his coffee with polonium.
>> No. 11146 Anonymous
27th February 2017
Monday 10:55 pm
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>>11145
That's the thing, there's a clear audit trail of this happening. I only found this out because I overheard his boss talking to the head of compliance about it, so I've sent a 'tactful' e-mail to his boss about it.
>> No. 11147 Anonymous
1st March 2017
Wednesday 8:31 pm
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Uncomfortable shoes lad reporting here. My shoes are still uncomfortable. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing at work. My manager is a "yeah do your thing, I don't like to micro-manage lol" type, so I literally don't know what to do.

Also, everyone has a watch. I guess I will buy a watch to fit in.
>> No. 11148 Anonymous
1st March 2017
Wednesday 9:46 pm
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>>11147
What's the job?

I didn't know what the fuck I was doing until two to three months in and even then I was filling half the time.
>> No. 11149 Anonymous
1st March 2017
Wednesday 10:04 pm
11149 spacer
>>11148
Assistant Commercial Manager.

I literally have no idea. I'm just really surprised I blagged my way into a job like this. From Tesco's to this. Although, it is only worth 25k.

Sigh. When I was 18, I thought I would be doing better than 25k by the time I reached 33.
>> No. 11150 Anonymous
1st March 2017
Wednesday 10:09 pm
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Say I work 3 days a week at minimum wage, I get paid min wage for the hours I work and that's that.
Is my holiday pay paid in addition to this, and therefore a legal obligation for the employer?

Because I suspect it is and I'm not sure why they're telling wee fibs about being particularly generous.
>> No. 11151 Anonymous
1st March 2017
Wednesday 10:09 pm
11151 spacer
>>11149

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVGdhAetJaQ
>> No. 11152 Anonymous
1st March 2017
Wednesday 10:21 pm
11152 spacer
>>11150

>Is my holiday pay paid in addition to this, and therefore a legal obligation for the employer?


Yes. You're entitled to holiday pay whether you work full time, part time, or irregular shifts.

https://www.gov.uk/holiday-entitlement-rights/calculate-leave-entitlement
>> No. 11153 Anonymous
1st March 2017
Wednesday 10:53 pm
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>>11150
As an employee or a worker, you are entitled by law to a certain amount of holiday. If you don't get to take it, and those working part-time are particularly susceptible to this, then they're supposed to give you pay in lieu. This frequently appears on a payslip as "WTD pay" and should be around 12% of your other gross pay. If your base pay for the week is £100, you should get £12 in holiday pay.

Merely being short-changed is a matter for you to sort out with your employer, but if you add your holiday pay to your basic pay, divide by the number of hours and get a rate below those in the image, then you have a NMW violation which you should report to HMRC.
>> No. 11154 Anonymous
2nd March 2017
Thursday 12:32 am
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>>11153
How can anyone live on £4? This isn't even a few weeks thing, most apprenticeships last for over a year. At least in medieval times, your mentor would house and feed you. Fucking hell.
>> No. 11155 Anonymous
2nd March 2017
Thursday 2:20 am
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>>11154
In modern times, your keeper would house and feed you. The apprentice rate is only payable to those under 19 or those on their first year. Once you reach your anniversary, or when you turn 19 if that's later, then you graduate to full NMW.
>> No. 11156 Anonymous
2nd March 2017
Thursday 7:26 pm
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Conference calls. Fuck me what a waste of time they are, especially when there's 50+ people on the line and there's always some knobhead who puts it on hold instead of mute.
>> No. 11157 Anonymous
2nd March 2017
Thursday 7:39 pm
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>>11156
I've decided that from now on my phone is silenced, Lync is muted, and Outlook toast is disabled. All so that I don't have to deal with that. And also because some people in my office can't figure out the headphone convention.
>> No. 11159 Anonymous
3rd March 2017
Friday 5:26 pm
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People bringing in things like McDonald's that fill the entire office with their aroma.
>> No. 11163 Anonymous
5th March 2017
Sunday 4:24 am
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>>11159

Don't be such a beta. On the way in to work tell them that their food fucking stinks. Give them a punch and tell them to fuck off.

End of m8.
>> No. 11165 Anonymous
5th March 2017
Sunday 5:20 am
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>>11163

Awful advice. What you need to do is saunter up to their desk á la John Wayne and piss on said sad paper bag of heat-lamp-bathed reconstituted fast food tripe in order to establish your dominance.

Thank me later.
>> No. 11166 Anonymous
5th March 2017
Sunday 8:46 pm
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A month in the job and I've already been exposed to office power struggles. I need to keep up my Swiss attitude. I've lived in a house with majority women before, how hard can it be?
>> No. 11167 Anonymous
5th March 2017
Sunday 9:27 pm
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>>11166

I have in my hand a piece of paper. This agreement, signed by Karen in accounts, assures us that the microwave is not to be used for mackerel.
>> No. 11168 Anonymous
5th March 2017
Sunday 9:56 pm
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>>11167
Peas in our time, lads.
>> No. 11169 Anonymous
5th March 2017
Sunday 10:08 pm
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>>11168
We can trust Herring Hitler, can't we?
>> No. 11170 Anonymous
5th March 2017
Sunday 11:29 pm
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>>11166
I've been in an office for nearly 6 months and I'm actually surprised how little back-stabbing and struggles I've witnessed. Probably has to do with the fact that we're a pretty laid-back office, and anyone who really wants to earn more could do if they went somewhere else a bit less chilled.
>> No. 11173 Anonymous
6th March 2017
Monday 7:57 pm
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I've got a job interview this week, which means I'm going to have to find an excuse why I want Thursday morning off. Also, the recruitment consultant has been a bit vague so all I know is the company name and that it's the same job title as what I'm doing now but I haven't been sent a job spec. The salary could be one of four I said I may be interested in; two with an actual monetary figure and the other two are down as 'competitive' and 'completely on what is required for the right candidate'.
>> No. 11174 Anonymous
6th March 2017
Monday 8:26 pm
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>>11173

You could say... a mate's had an accident and you're going to visit him in hospital. Or you're expecting a delivery at home from a notoriously shite delivery company at whatever time's your interview, and you need to be at home to receive it.

Or something better. I don't know, I'm a terrible fibber.
>> No. 11175 Anonymous
6th March 2017
Monday 9:01 pm
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>>11173
Sounds like you're going to be spectacularly sick on Thursday with a mysterious unidentified 1 day illness. That will be joked about by your coworkers as a hard night drinking on Wednesday.

Or you could say you've got a hospital appointment Thursday morning.
>> No. 11176 Anonymous
6th March 2017
Monday 9:07 pm
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>>11174
I find people tend not to argue with courts and tribunals. They also give you plausible deniability should someone spot you walking around town in a suit.
>> No. 11177 Anonymous
6th March 2017
Monday 11:06 pm
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>>11176

Perfect.
>> No. 11178 Anonymous
6th March 2017
Monday 11:44 pm
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>>11173
>I've got a job interview this week, which means I'm going to have to find an excuse why I want Thursday morning off.
That's partly your fault for agreeing to the interview at short notice. If they're used to interviewing people who are already employed, then they should be used to making allowances, since it's generally understood that you're not supposed to tip off someone's existing employer about the job search.
>> No. 11179 Anonymous
7th March 2017
Tuesday 12:54 am
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Just say you got a dentist appointment.

>>11178
Maybe he is desperate.
>> No. 11180 Anonymous
7th March 2017
Tuesday 1:00 am
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>>11176
>>11177
Parking tickets are great for this. A big chunk of the cases that go to the tribunals get dropped, sometimes quite close to the hearing, and when that happens there's no public record of it. It just becomes a statistic in the annual report. Figure out where your local hearing venue is in case someone else knows where it is. For England and Wales outside London, TPT have a list on their website, and most of them are a Holiday Inn Express. If you're asked why you need to go, you're dealing with a parking ticket. If you're asked why the short notice, you thought they were going to drop out. If you're asked how it went, you got there only to find out that they pulled out on the day. (Yes, it's not unheard of for some councils to gamble that you don't show up to the hearing. They're already on the hook for the hearing fee, and the officer's time is already paid for.)
>> No. 11181 Anonymous
9th March 2017
Thursday 4:41 pm
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>>11173 here again

It turns out the recruitment consultant inflated the salary on offer by £10,000. They really are utter shits.
>> No. 11182 Anonymous
9th March 2017
Thursday 5:25 pm
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>>11181
Stick a review somewhere obvious that says they can't be trusted.
>> No. 11183 Anonymous
9th March 2017
Thursday 5:44 pm
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>>11181

"On target earnings" did they call it? It's sensible to avoid any job listings that even mention such nonsense.
>> No. 11184 Anonymous
9th March 2017
Thursday 5:52 pm
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>>11182
I haven't met a recruitment consultant yet who can be trusted. They're the only people worse than estate agents.

>>11183
There wasn't any of that nonsense. A job they said was £40,000 was actually £30,000. They're going to see if they can up it to £35,000 because they were really keen on me.
>> No. 11185 Anonymous
9th March 2017
Thursday 5:56 pm
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>>11184
What sort of job?

In general, if they want you, they'll pay what it takes. If they won't offer you enough, you don't have to take it.
>> No. 11186 Anonymous
9th March 2017
Thursday 11:46 pm
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Vague recruiters annoy me. If you won't even tell me the name of the company and a bit of background about what they do without me taking time out of my day for a surreptitious phone-call I can't really be arsed.
>> No. 11187 Anonymous
10th March 2017
Friday 5:14 pm
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>>11186
Almost as bad as the recruiters who search for CVs by 1 keyword and send out emails en masse to every match.

My CV has right at the top "MEng", followed by years of experience working as an engineer. Putting it up on CV library or somewhere results in regular emails along the lines of "hello, I have a vacancy for an office clerk position you might be interested in."

And there's also the opposite: recruiters looking for someone with a certain niche of experience that you might actually be suited to, but even being optimistic the experience level the company wants is blatantly out of your league.
>> No. 11188 Anonymous
10th March 2017
Friday 5:16 pm
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>>11185
It's financial advice, specifically report writing. In my neck of the woods, the salary for my experience and qualifications tends to be £28k to £40k, although some of the top firms can go higher.

They've come back and said they can up their offer to £32k, which is more than they usually pay for this role. I'd have been happy to accept £34k, but I'm not moving for money; it's for convenience as they're a ten minute drive from my house and I'd end up saving over £1,500 a year in petrol and childcare.
>> No. 11189 Anonymous
10th March 2017
Friday 7:19 pm
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>>11184
How do you even get employed as a recruitment consultant? It's one of those jobs that looks decently paid and could be accomplished by a monkey in a suit. I want in.
>> No. 11190 Anonymous
10th March 2017
Friday 7:35 pm
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>>11189
For most of them the pay isn't great and they tend to be paid by commissions rather than salary.

It's the sort of job that tends to be a last-resort for a lot of university graduates who can't get a better job anywhere else.
>> No. 11191 Anonymous
11th March 2017
Saturday 11:24 am
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>>11190

Having done this through desperation shortly after graduation, I can attest that this is the case. One setp up from a fucking call-centre...
>> No. 11192 Anonymous
13th March 2017
Monday 1:22 am
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>>11191

Not even that. It's the same thing as an outbound call centre except you have to put the dialling list together yourself. Getting people to agree to interviews might be a bit easier than cold-selling an iPad, but not by far, considering the sort of vacancies you are required to fill.
>> No. 11196 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 6:20 pm
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Lads I had a job interview and they asked what I look for in my work so I said 'I like to know I'm doing something challenging and know that i'm something that will make an impact.'

They followed up with 'some of the work is monotonous and repetitive, how will you stay motivated?'

So I answered about understanding how the smaller tasks fit the bigger picture and appreciating that the little tasks contribute to the wider effort as much as the bigger, more interesting tasks and I keep that in mind.

Was this a crap answer/ Any other suggestions?
>> No. 11197 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 6:34 pm
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Oh, they also asked how I judge my performance on projects that take some time but the success of them isn't known and how I judge whether I'm doing a good job.

I blabbed on about making sure I keep the original objectives in mind and how I compare with my peers who are working with my on the project and see if my work is contributing to the wider goal in the same way as everybody else, as well as occasionally seeking feedback.

If anybody has any ideas on whether or not I was on the right lines, that'd be great.
>> No. 11198 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 7:29 pm
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>>11196
>>11197

Exactly the sort of corporate doublethink bullshit that they wanted. You'll be on fast track to management before you know it lad. Make sure you know how to work The Spreadsheet.
>> No. 11199 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 7:41 pm
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>>11198

I honestly can't tell if you're taking the piss out of me or if you genuinely think they sound okay but are just being humorous.
>> No. 11200 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 8:05 pm
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Interview questions largely don't matter. It's more about whether they like you and whether you'd fit in.

Last time I was offered a job was directly opposite the place where I work now. The interview lasted approximately 20 minutes and most of that time was regaling the time the gypsies took over our mutual car park.
>> No. 11201 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 6:55 am
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We've got a new administrator and I don't think she knows how to save a PDF document. Instead she'll print the document and scan it to the system, so instead of having a good quality PDF that's about 800KB we now have an inferior looking one that's at least 8MB after she's unnecessarily printed off a 30 page document in full colour.
>> No. 11202 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 7:14 am
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>>11200

>It's more about whether they like you and whether you'd fit in.

I guess I'll just have to grow boobs, get myself a low cut top and a Twitch account then.
>> No. 11203 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 12:57 pm
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>>11199

Both to be honest m8. Really, it says more about the modern workplace than it does about your interview competency.
>> No. 11204 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 7:31 pm
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>>11188 here again.

I handed my notice in on Wednesday, with a request to negotiate a reduced notice period. One of the reasons I gave for leaving, i.e. I know that one department is so uncompliant we're fucked if the FCA ever come in and it could take down the entire company, has apparently "raised eyebrows" with the board and they've asked me to elaborate. I've sent an email which worked out at one and a half pages of A4 of everything I could think of that's wrong with the department, signing off with a line that if this isn't on their radar and I'm having to point it to them then it's deeply troubling.

Am I going to be fucked when they read it?
>> No. 11205 Anonymous
18th March 2017
Saturday 1:03 am
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I've had various temporary full time jobs over uni. Most are quite respectable (i.e. not cleaning, no offence to cleaners), and I've been in QA at a big American engineering company for 7 months now. I have a science based degree and a management MSc.

I want to moveinto systems engineeing and shit.


When I started writing this I had a bunch of questions but now I've got ere it all feels useless. Might ask them later. Pretty windy outside tbh.
>> No. 11206 Anonymous
18th March 2017
Saturday 6:44 pm
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>>11204
You wanted to be a big hero, eh? You wanted something big before you leave, right?

Cunt.
>> No. 11207 Anonymous
18th March 2017
Saturday 7:02 pm
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>>11206
Not him, but I'd rather walk away before the explosion than die in it.
>> No. 11208 Anonymous
18th March 2017
Saturday 7:39 pm
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>>11206
Not at all, if I wanted to "be a hero" I'd have just whistleblown to the FCA.

I made a throwaway comment in my notice letter which they asked me to expand upon. I decided to be frank and I got a few people to check it before I responded; every single one of them said it was spot on and everything I'd said wasn't incorrect.

The issue is so severe that when the FCA do come in it could lead to a seven figure fine and/or them issuing a cease and desist notice to the company. Either the board don't know about the matter because they're incompetent or they've been turning a blind eye to it whilst counting all the money coming in.
>> No. 11209 Anonymous
20th March 2017
Monday 2:05 am
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Loads of my coworkers are immature but they generally understand rules around consent and stupid immature banter i.e. I have a difficult time dealing with it so they'll not harass me if I'm not getting involved.

Aside from one manager, who's 21 or so and persistently only communicates with me (and other employees) through innuendos, touching peoples (only guys) arses, hugging people unexpectedly, making stupid sexual jokes, making stupid racist jokes and specifically calling out my accent because I'm from a different bit of England. Which really just pisses me off because I've dealt with that through school and found it about as funny as hitting my ballsack with a hammer.

I could play along with some of this filth (I mean I get on about worse stuff with mates) if I even remotely liked the guy but I think he's a twat, and he's clearly doing it to get a rise out of me and it makes my work more of an annoyance than it needs to be.

I'm just deliberating on how to deal with this. I'm not convinced he'd have the emotional maturity to cut it out if I asked him to but his girlfriend is also the sort of people manager for our store, which could make things awkward.
>> No. 11210 Anonymous
20th March 2017
Monday 7:07 am
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>>11209
You work in a shop, it's to be expected. Especially if it's some shithole like PC World.
>> No. 11212 Anonymous
21st March 2017
Tuesday 7:56 pm
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The printer has a massive screen telling you the name of the person who is printing right now. Why does everyone keep picking up every single page that comes off to see if it's theirs (and then put it back out of order)?
>> No. 11213 Anonymous
22nd March 2017
Wednesday 11:15 am
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Outlook has a scheduling assistant for arranging meetings, that will tell you that I've got a regular appointment in the timeslot you keep insisting on booking every fucking time.
>> No. 11268 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 2:04 pm
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I can't tell if my boss is insane or I am. I'll write out two pieces of copy for her and she'll tell me one needs a complete rewrite but lavish praises on me for the other and I don't understand what the difference in the copy is. There's nothing obviously wrong with the grammar, I just rephrase it slightly and suddenly it's, in her opinion, praiseworthy.
Quite a minor annoyance but still befuddling.
>> No. 11269 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 2:24 pm
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>>11268
Have you tried asking her?
>> No. 11270 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 2:37 pm
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>>11268
>her

I gave up on trying to understand my last female boss because it wasn't worth it.
>> No. 11271 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 4:42 pm
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>>11268
>> No. 11272 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 4:55 pm
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>>11268

https://rachelbythebay.com/w/2013/06/05/duck/
>> No. 11273 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 5:51 pm
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>>11271

This post is good but you should mention it is a dilbert comic. If you could make that change that would be great.
>> No. 11277 Anonymous
27th April 2017
Thursday 1:26 pm
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I've received my final payslip today, with £980 deducted for exam fees from the past two years. They've deducted this after tax, NI, student loan, etc. so my net pay is around £580 lower than I was anticipating. Should they have deducted it from my gross pay instead? That would have also saved them in employer NI, but I suppose if I had paid the fees myself directly it would have been from my net pay.
>> No. 11278 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 11:05 pm
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What do you lads do during your lunch breaks? I work in a small business park around 20 minutes away from the nearest shops and the company I work for is overzealous with the number of websites they block; even the likes of the BBC is unavailable. I can't spend the full hour just dicking around on my phone, it's going to drive me mental.
>> No. 11279 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 11:32 pm
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>>11278
I browse on my phone while eating and trying to shut off thoughts about suicide and arson.
>> No. 11280 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 11:44 pm
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>>11278
Not really a lunch break but I use my half hour to go for a walk and lay around in a nearby church, usually around 7ish. Or, behind that church/off the public footpath, someone's made a swing using some old cable, so I have a good swing.
>> No. 11281 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 11:58 pm
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>>11278
Download the duolingo app and start teaching yourself another language for 30 minutes a day.
>> No. 11282 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 12:34 am
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>>11278

Listen to a podcast and go for a little walk. Pretend you're a smoker and stand outside pondering the universe. Play a game of chess on your phone. Do a crossword. Meditate. Knit. Sneak off to the fourth floor bogs and have a wank.
>> No. 11283 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 1:39 am
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>>11278
Isn't there even a shitty burger van on the business park you can mosey over to?
>> No. 11284 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 1:55 am
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>>11278
Get outside for a walk, even if it's just a five minute walk to go to a sandwich shop. If you stay indoors at your desk all day you'll go mad.
>> No. 11285 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 2:40 am
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>>11282
>Sneak off to the fourth floor bogs and have a wank.
You'd be living dangerously in my office. That floor is where HR live, and naturally they've bagged themselves the section nearest the doors.
>> No. 11286 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 8:01 am
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>>11278
Read a book, I have to sit away from the plebs though and even then I can hear their conversations about last night's Eastenders or a rant about how some public service has failed them in the last 20 years from the canteen
I sit in what could be called the reception and it's near the doors to go back into the workspace so I always some mouthbreather asking how I can read a book, what it's about (Currently on the 10th book of the HH series, no easy way to explain the story) or how I look intelligent whenever they go back in.

I get through quite a few books considering I only have 30 minutes a day. Used to just browse Imgur on my phone but no WiFi mean't I'd eat up my data fast.
>> No. 11287 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 8:12 am
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>>11286
>Currently on the 10th book of the HH series, no easy way to explain the story

I can't recall the Horrible Histories books having a plot.
>> No. 11288 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 8:23 am
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>>11287
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Horus_Heresy_(novels)
Just incase.
>> No. 11289 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 8:38 pm
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>>11288
I bet that's all you wanted. Someone to ask that so you could finally have a conversation with another human being, albeit on an impersonal anonymous board.

Don't kill yourself.
>> No. 11290 Anonymous
5th May 2017
Friday 12:49 am
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>>11289

>conversation with another human being

Are you implying he's been conversing with the alien? HERESY!
>> No. 11291 Anonymous
5th May 2017
Friday 1:16 am
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>>11290

Nah, he's in a long-term relationship with his tulpa.
>> No. 11292 Anonymous
5th May 2017
Friday 1:58 am
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What's wrong with some lad reading Horus Heresy books? It's not exactly Tolstoy, but it's not that bad, is it? Or did you for the Games Workshop at one point?
>> No. 11293 Anonymous
5th May 2017
Friday 2:10 am
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>>11292

Nobody said there was anything wrong with reading Horus Heresy books. I think you might be projecting.
>> No. 11294 Anonymous
5th May 2017
Friday 2:13 am
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>>11293

Not really, I just haven't been paying attention to the thread.
>> No. 11295 Anonymous
5th May 2017
Friday 8:17 am
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>>11294
That doesn't make it less projecting.
>> No. 11312 Anonymous
18th May 2017
Thursday 1:19 pm
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I have to sit here and just watch my computer install updates. The first time I tried to let it happen unattended, I came back from the loo to find it just sitting at the FDE screen asking for credentials. The second time, I waited for the reboot, entered my credentials and went to grab a drink. I came back to find my desktop logged in and unlocked.
>> No. 11313 Anonymous
18th May 2017
Thursday 2:26 pm
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>>11312
I don't understand this post. :D
>> No. 11316 Anonymous
18th May 2017
Thursday 5:27 pm
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Brash women. I suppose it should be expected, working near Leeds, but fat Northern women, with their manly accents and talking brazenly about things like how they shat themselves a few years back.
>> No. 11317 Anonymous
20th May 2017
Saturday 6:42 pm
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I hate it when you get barracked for allegedly not sending something to a supervisor via email, perhaps CCing relevant staff, even though you sent it some time ago and they, and a CC recipient, specifically thanked you in a reply for sending it to them. This is further compounded when a CC recipient also denies that you actually did send something at all.
>> No. 11318 Anonymous
20th May 2017
Saturday 7:47 pm
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>>11317
CC yourself too then when they complain, send them a copy of the email you received with the headers.
>> No. 11319 Anonymous
20th May 2017
Saturday 9:03 pm
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>>11318
Believe it or not, there is such a thing as a "sent items" folder.
>> No. 11320 Anonymous
20th May 2017
Saturday 10:01 pm
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>>11319
Then why aren't you using that in the first place.
>> No. 11321 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 7:34 am
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>>11320

>>11319 isn't the same person as >>11317
>> No. 11322 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 10:41 am
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>>11321
I'm sure they can figure out how to change "aren't you" to "isn't he" as applicable.
>> No. 11323 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 11:22 am
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>>11320
I think the issue is the blatant lying/arse-covering, not the lack of evidence.
>> No. 11324 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 6:18 pm
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>>11323
No. The issue is OP is inept and just took it like a bitch instead of mass-emailing everyone the replies he got as a "reminder - FYI - here are your replies, I hope these jog your memories :)"

But no, he took 9 inches, and came running here to complain.

Fucking scum. He fully deserves it. Now, I hope they make jokes and tease him about how he keeps saying "but really mate, you did send me a reply, I just can't find it."
>> No. 11325 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 6:18 pm
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>>11323
Yes, people still keeping up their attitude with me, even though I showed them proof of receipt.
>> No. 11326 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 8:23 pm
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>>11325
I think the problem is that you're feeling cowed by them instead of smug and self-satisfied that they're being idiots denying the reality in front of them. >>11324 is being a twat but he's not totally wrong. Those people are obviously morons, you don't have to feel hurt by their stupid behaviour.
>> No. 11327 Anonymous
25th May 2017
Thursday 5:17 pm
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It is too cunting hot.
It is too cunting hot to sit in a poorly ventilated office in a shirt and trousers.
It is too cunting hot to sit next to someone with b.o. issues.
It is too cunting hot at the end of the working day to go back to your car and melt because there's absolutely no shade in car park.
>> No. 11328 Anonymous
25th May 2017
Thursday 9:11 pm
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>>11327
Word.
>> No. 11329 Anonymous
25th May 2017
Thursday 9:24 pm
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>>11327

Be thankful you have a proper job, you could be working here. In an air conditioning blind spot (not that aircon does much in a working kitchen but it's better than nothing).
>> No. 11330 Anonymous
25th May 2017
Thursday 9:57 pm
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>>11327
Fucking thirded.
>> No. 11331 Anonymous
26th May 2017
Friday 12:28 am
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>>11329

I have actual good working aircon in my kitchen. It's fucking amazing. We had to close the vents at 8pm because we were getting a bit chilly.

All that dry air fucks your nose up though.
>> No. 11368 Anonymous
14th June 2017
Wednesday 6:43 pm
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I appear to be the only person at work not watching Love Island.
>> No. 11369 Anonymous
14th June 2017
Wednesday 6:46 pm
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>>11368

That's kind of like a promotion you've given yourself!
>> No. 11373 Anonymous
15th June 2017
Thursday 3:36 pm
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>>11329
Why hasn't the fast food industry workforce been replaced by robots, yet?
>> No. 11374 Anonymous
15th June 2017
Thursday 4:33 pm
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>>11373
Because people-hours are very cheap. This is what Foxconn et al discovered - far cheaper to use people and simple tooling &jigs than to build, maintain, tear down, reprogram robotic assembly line as products change.
Then the people started to become scarce (expensive) as everyone did this and Foxconn started to talk about buying loads of robots, while setting up factories in cheaper countries. Then all the talk of robots went very quiet.
>> No. 11375 Anonymous
15th June 2017
Thursday 4:35 pm
11375 spacer
That said, I do expect to start seeing more automation in fast food kitchens. I suspect there'll be a lot of grumbling, though, and possibly unrest / boycotts.
>> No. 11376 Anonymous
15th June 2017
Thursday 7:41 pm
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>>11373

You underestimate the amount of filth that accumulates around a fast food kitchen too, you'd still need a reasonable crew to maintain it all.
Albeit a much smaller crew. It's perfect work for automation really because it's boring, tedious, unskilled, repetitive manual work.
>> No. 11378 Anonymous
17th June 2017
Saturday 12:04 am
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>>11376

I think that describes most work in most people's jobs.
>> No. 11379 Anonymous
17th June 2017
Saturday 1:19 am
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>>11378
As it turns out, most people's jobs are going to be in jeopardy in the relatively near future.
>> No. 11380 Anonymous
17th June 2017
Saturday 1:33 am
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>>11379
As long as we get a cushy universal income we'll be fine.
>> No. 11381 Anonymous
17th June 2017
Saturday 2:53 am
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>>11380

Our generation aren't even going to get state pensions lad. Big trouble soon come.
>> No. 11393 Anonymous
20th June 2017
Tuesday 7:45 pm
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People who slice apples with knives at their desks.
>> No. 11394 Anonymous
20th June 2017
Tuesday 8:11 pm
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>>11393
>People who slice apples with knives at their desks.

It really depends on the type of knife they're using.

For example: Someone slicing an apple at their desk with a small paring knife is reasonable enough. Slicing it with a nice opinel folding knife marks you as a fine chap of distinction. If someone was sat at their desk slicing an apple with a bread knife, I would be handing in my notice and getting a hundred miles away from them as soon as I could.
>> No. 11395 Anonymous
20th June 2017
Tuesday 10:29 pm
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>>11394
I haven't seen the knife, but it makes an awful jarring noise when it's slicing through. Also, eating apples in this manner is completely wrong.
>> No. 11396 Anonymous
20th June 2017
Tuesday 10:35 pm
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>>11395

At least they weren't stabbing it and shouting "take that, mummy!"
>> No. 11398 Anonymous
23rd June 2017
Friday 12:00 pm
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>>1795
The summer solstice has just passed, which means it's time for the all-users email about the Christmas party.
>> No. 11399 Anonymous
26th June 2017
Monday 5:19 pm
11399 spacer
In the bogs at work is two urinals and a cubicle. I went in today and my boss was at one of the urinals, he glanced around and saw me entering so I couldn't be a coward and slink off to the cubicle. I had to use the urinal next to me. He starts talking and I try to piss. Nothing. I strain and I worry if I try any harder I'll either shit myself, turn purple or my brain will try and exit out of my ears. He's pissing and talking for an inordinate length of time and it's clear there is no sound of piss hitting ceramic coming from the urinal in front of me. I'm just standing there like an idiot, straining and failing to piss whilst also trying to keep the conversation going. Eventually he leaves and the piss bursts out like a pressure hose. Two hours later and I've got ball ache, I'm sure they're related.
>> No. 11400 Anonymous
26th June 2017
Monday 10:14 pm
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>>11399
You piss by relaxing not by pushing. Jesus. How old are you?
>> No. 11401 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 9:42 am
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>>11399
I've never understood people who can't piss when they are being warched/spoken to. I can pee under any circumstances. It's a piece of, um, yeah.
>> No. 11402 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 2:26 pm
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>>11401


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HygJxakaL4Y
>> No. 11403 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 4:44 pm
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>>11402
Didn't her and Charlie fall in love whilst making this video?
>> No. 11404 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 4:51 pm
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>>11403

Yep. It's a love story for the ages.
>> No. 11407 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 6:01 pm
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114071140711407
>>11404
I'm sure there was a period, not long before Lonnie, when he had a thing for Aisleyne from Big Brother because she kept appearing in his Wipe shows.
>> No. 11409 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 6:11 pm
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>>11404

Brings a tear to my Jap's eye.
>> No. 11412 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 6:23 pm
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>>11409
I always preferred Katy Hill, myself.
>> No. 11421 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 8:58 pm
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>>11407
Nothing wrong at all with her.
>> No. 11422 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 9:04 pm
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>>11421
Is that a slight piss mark? She does look like she's ever so slightly wet herself.
>> No. 11425 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 10:22 pm
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>>11422
If it is, it may be a clue into Are Charlie's 'interests'.
>> No. 11427 Anonymous
27th June 2017
Tuesday 11:16 pm
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>>11422
I don't think it matters - we all have a little dribble now and again.
>> No. 11438 Anonymous
28th June 2017
Wednesday 1:07 am
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114381143811438
>>11427
>> No. 11439 Anonymous
28th June 2017
Wednesday 1:18 am
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>>11438
Everyone smells of wee. It's a grown up thing lad.
>> No. 11444 Anonymous
28th June 2017
Wednesday 7:24 am
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YNt954lS_400x400.jpg
114441144411444
>>11439
>> No. 11468 Anonymous
29th June 2017
Thursday 7:36 pm
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I don't get how people can commute on the train. I had to go to Leeds for a seminar today and the train was heaving and I was stood near a man that absolutely stank; like a mixture of Quavers, wet clothes that have been left in the washing machine too long and how my Henry hoover smells if I'm using it when the bag's almost full.
>> No. 11474 Anonymous
29th June 2017
Thursday 8:18 pm
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>>11468
I absolutely hate our public transport. I don't know why we can't even get something as simple as trains right.
>> No. 11480 Anonymous
29th June 2017
Thursday 10:20 pm
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>>11468
>>11474
Aside from the price I've found you can quickly get used to train journeys. Even if you end up standing in the aisle you can still zone out by looking out the window for an hour as you try to avoid thinking about every embarrassing mistake you've ever made.

The biggest gripe for me is when some pisshead is sitting in one of the 4 seater places drinking tins so everyone else has to politely ignore him as he mumbles to himself. How they can even afford to buy a ticket is beyond me, illuminate conspiracy perhaps.
>> No. 11486 Anonymous
30th June 2017
Friday 12:42 am
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>>11468>>11474>>11480

I only ever hear horror stories from mates who use the train on the regular, but I've only seen one annoying twat in months and had the occasional delay, and there's almost always a seat, unless you're a turkey and won't ask some berk to shift his laptop bag from the aisle seat.
>> No. 11488 Anonymous
30th June 2017
Friday 12:52 am
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>>11480
>How they can even afford to buy a ticket is beyond me
They can't. They know that the guard will catch the aroma from six rows away and leave them well alone. They also know they can piss it up a bit and the gateline staff will probably just let them through.
>> No. 11522 Anonymous
30th June 2017
Friday 7:14 pm
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>>11520
No, you're right, reading the post before replying to it is definitely a waste of time.
>> No. 11526 Anonymous
30th June 2017
Friday 7:40 pm
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>>11522
Lewis Hamilton? I've never watched the snooker.
>> No. 11530 Anonymous
30th June 2017
Friday 11:45 pm
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>>11486
It works like any other public service where the only time you comment on it is when things go wrong which then gets blown out of all proportion as we all love a good moan.

I've personally never had any major dramas and once you learn the network you can work around the rare delays that occur. Even Birmingham New Street can be quickly navigated so long as the stress of the place doesn't make you flip out and start eating the face off the next person to blunder into your way.
>> No. 11531 Anonymous
2nd July 2017
Sunday 7:57 pm
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Some autist/silly cunt has mixed all the earl grey that a few of us have been picking at sporadically in with the regular teabags because "all tea's the same, innit".
Just seems a bit of a waste throwing out 100 or so bags because of this unwanted tea lottery, where even some of the normal bags have a faint taste of EG.
A more drastic version would be someone mixing diesel and petrol, because it's all the same, innit.
>> No. 11532 Anonymous
4th July 2017
Tuesday 5:02 pm
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There's a woman at work who always refers to people as "Hun". It drives me up the fucking wall.
>> No. 11533 Anonymous
4th July 2017
Tuesday 5:48 pm
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>>11532
I could be worse, you could work somewhere round Burton and have to put up with "duck".
>> No. 11534 Anonymous
4th July 2017
Tuesday 8:26 pm
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>>11531
That is horrific.
>> No. 11535 Anonymous
4th July 2017
Tuesday 8:36 pm
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>>11533
I don't mind things that are local vernacular, moving near Leeds I've had to get used to people calling one another love and saying things like "y'alright, cock?", but calling people hun just isn't on.
>> No. 11536 Anonymous
5th July 2017
Wednesday 6:11 pm
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"I'm going to save these password protected documents I've been sent by another company, but I'm not actually going to also save record of what the passwords actually are."
>> No. 11537 Anonymous
6th July 2017
Thursday 2:49 am
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>>11533
Ey up.
>> No. 11538 Anonymous
6th July 2017
Thursday 3:09 am
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>>11536
If it's an excel document you can get around it quite easily.
>> No. 11539 Anonymous
6th July 2017
Thursday 5:11 pm
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>>11538
It's a pdf.

Today must have been the stuffiest day in existence. At least that's how it feels without air con.
>> No. 11540 Anonymous
6th July 2017
Thursday 5:23 pm
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>>11539
>Today must have been the stuffiest day in existence.

Fucking hell this. I've struggled to get anything done in these conditions today. Not to sound a tart but my hair isn't having a fun time of things either.

I'm sick of summer.
>> No. 11541 Anonymous
6th July 2017
Thursday 9:48 pm
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I'm glad I went out at the weekend to Marks and Sparks and bought some more short sleeved linen shirts. They are even allowing smart shorts n the office, so I bought some chino shorts as well.
>> No. 11550 Anonymous
24th July 2017
Monday 7:12 pm
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"Almost the entire company is out of the office on Friday for our biannual meet-up. We need to run an update on our servers, which will take 5 or 6 hours; instead of running this on an evening, weekend or when everyone is out on Friday we're going to start it at 9:30 tomorrow which will also be too short notice to prepare anything you won't need the computer system for."
>> No. 11552 Anonymous
24th July 2017
Monday 7:29 pm
11552 spacer
>>11550
Cunts.
>> No. 11553 Anonymous
24th July 2017
Monday 7:33 pm
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>>11550
"We know this critical system is running out of space, but if we give you more space we can't take it back later, so call us when you're down to $(what we go through in around two days) and we'll give you $(10x the previous number)."
>> No. 11558 Anonymous
25th July 2017
Tuesday 5:00 pm
11558 spacer

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115581155811558
WE'RE GOING ON A JOURNEY. THE TENDERING JOURNEY. THE QUOTATION JOURNEY. THE APPLICATION JOURNEY. THE SUBMISSION JOURNEY.

JOURNEY. JOURNEY. FUCKING JOURNEY.
>> No. 11559 Anonymous
25th July 2017
Tuesday 7:02 pm
11559 spacer
Lads, do any of you ever wank in your office toilets?
>> No. 11561 Anonymous
25th July 2017
Tuesday 7:29 pm
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>>11559
Urgh. No.
>> No. 11562 Anonymous
25th July 2017
Tuesday 7:52 pm
11562 spacer
>>11561
Is wanking at work a step too far?
>> No. 11563 Anonymous
25th July 2017
Tuesday 8:14 pm
11563 spacer
>>11562

It is unless you're a rent boy, yeah.
>> No. 11564 Anonymous
25th July 2017
Tuesday 8:19 pm
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>>11559
I think I've wanked in the toilets at three previous jobs. They were all individual toilets rather than a cubicle, though. This was when I was late teens/early twenties.
>> No. 11566 Anonymous
25th July 2017
Tuesday 9:06 pm
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>>11559

Back when I was an office drone, yes, regularly. There's a smug satisfaction to wanking on company time.
>> No. 11568 Anonymous
26th July 2017
Wednesday 9:44 am
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>>11566

How did you escape being an office drone?
>> No. 11569 Anonymous
26th July 2017
Wednesday 9:47 am
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>>11559

A handful (nadge nadge wink wink) of times when I've had that sort of screeching, unbearable urge and it's hard to even focus on your own breathing let alone work.
>> No. 11570 Anonymous
26th July 2017
Wednesday 10:47 pm
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>>11568

Freelancing. If you have some vaguely marketable skills and you're willing to learn the basics of business, you can make twice as much money for half the work.
>> No. 11576 Anonymous
4th August 2017
Friday 8:23 pm
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I left my previous employer at the end of April. They still owe me about £200 in pension contributions.
>> No. 11577 Anonymous
4th August 2017
Friday 8:28 pm
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>>11570

Marketable skills is very vague, and I don't think all of them are enough to sustain a living wage. C'mon, lad, what do you do? Or if you'd prefer not to go into detail, what are some examples of marketable skills that would allow for a job as a freelancer?
>> No. 11578 Anonymous
4th August 2017
Friday 9:35 pm
11578 spacer
>>11577

I'm a computer scientist with a background in academia. I provide consulting services, mainly in relation to data-driven marketing. Most companies have vast troves of customer data; I help them to find profitable insights in that data.

There's nothing particularly special or valuable in my skillset. What's lucrative is the overlap between specialised knowledge and a real business problem. A lot of people have a skill that a business could use to make or save a lot of money, they just don't understand business well enough to find those opportunities. A lot of very well-paid consultants don't even have that, just the ability to sound plausible.
>> No. 11580 Anonymous
11th August 2017
Friday 8:51 pm
11580 spacer
Couple of things:

• Someone keeps running the hot tap in the toilets ever so slightly, so if you're not careful you'll end up almost scalding yourself when you go to wash your hands.

• Money for someone's leaving do. Money for someone's birthday present. Money for someone's baby. Money for someone's Just Giving page because they're running a marathon. Money if I want to join the work fantasy football league because the season's just started. Money. Money. Money.
>> No. 11582 Anonymous
11th August 2017
Friday 8:56 pm
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>>11580
>Money. Money. Money.
Can't you just say no and look down to check your phone to see how your torrents are doing?
>> No. 11583 Anonymous
11th August 2017
Friday 9:21 pm
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>>11582
I don't give money to all of them, but the constant requests are taking the piss. I missed off someone got married recently, so I chipped in to that one too.
>> No. 11584 Anonymous
11th August 2017
Friday 10:39 pm
11584 spacer
The amount of money to be given should be down to proximity/familiarity. Are they within 4 desks of you or do you regularly converse with them in person, email, slack etc. They get a tenner.

You know the name and face of the person, see and speak to them a few times a week or are within a couple of banks of desks from you they get a fiver. if you had to ask which one they are, or are on the same floor then you'll check a couple of quid.

Finally if You haven't got a clue who they, you have no relations with their department or aren't on the same floor they can get fucked.
>> No. 11588 Anonymous
29th August 2017
Tuesday 6:22 pm
11588 spacer
Quite a lot of my department are middle class.

I find it quite disconcerting to hear lads in their mid/late twenties obsessing about the growth in the values of their flats and how they plan to live there for a few more years before buying another place and renting the flat out or when they start talking about Daddy's investments or all the weird pet names they have for their grandparents and other relatives.

It's a complete different world.
>> No. 11590 Anonymous
30th August 2017
Wednesday 5:18 am
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>>11588

I hear you. I'm struggling to get out of my parents house and even though I earn a shade more than the typical worker at my office, everyone else is up to their second property.
>> No. 11591 Anonymous
30th August 2017
Wednesday 7:46 pm
11591 spacer
>>11590
I too struggle in such a manner.
My Wife and I live in a council place, always getting by but never getting rich. Her Sister and her chap are career minded high management types who just bought their second home. I get the feeling they only visit to see how the poor people live.
>> No. 11592 Anonymous
30th August 2017
Wednesday 8:39 pm
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>>11590
I am the highest paid in my team, I know that for a fact.

That hasn't stopped a trainee on c. £18,000 being able to afford a city centre apartment worth in the region of £270k whilst also driving a 66 plate Audi. His dad is European Sales Director for some multinational.

One of the other things they like to talk about between them is dining out at various expensive restaurants and they invariably have a sister who is living and working overseas. They're so casual with money, it's like they'll never have to worry about whether they can afford to do something.
>> No. 11593 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 6:46 pm
11593 spacer
I know what you guys mean about feeling like these people are on another planet. I was in the last group of people who got into further and higher education with grant money. I didn't have to get a ridiculously large student loan and instead I got various bursaries. As such I came out of it with an education before a lot of universities let anyone who was willing to pay get in.

As such I didn't have to work, but I did work in a pub most evenings and I never had a credit card or a loan. So I had to work my balls off just to get some cash in the bank and a decent enough credit rating so I could get a mortgage. I still had a good 4 o 5 years where although being qualified for the kind of work I was looking for I wouldn't get past the interview stage, due to a lack of experience. Being stuck in the catch 22 situation of can't get a job because I lack experience and I can't get experience because I can't get a job.

15 year on from that and I live comfortably as the department manager in local government. Even now I am not paid as much as I would do in the private sector, but I have less of the stresses that would come with working in the private sector chasing contracts. I don't live extravagantly and I have quite a lot of my cash tied up in ISAs to help my son out when he finishes uni as well as a nest egg for retirement.

I would definitely be called a class traitor by the old punk guy who loved Crass and sold the socialist worker who was always trying to get a union involved in the factory I worked in when I left college. It's not like I drive a Mercedes or a BMW, I very rarely shop at M&S or Waitrose. I haven't had a real holiday in nearly 8 years, the closest I get is going to a festival or 2 for a long weekend every year. I haven't even left the country in over 10 years and as such my passport has expired.
>> No. 11594 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 7:19 pm
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They can keep their planet.

I'm sure going from a caravan, liberated carlsberg and youtube to a 2 bed, 12 year and vinyl feels better than a mortgage and their old chum events.
>> No. 11595 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 8:55 pm
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>>11593
>I would definitely be called a class traitor by the old punk guy who loved Crass and sold the socialist worker who was always trying to get a union involved in the factory I worked in when I left college. It's not like I drive a Mercedes or a BMW, I very rarely shop at M&S or Waitrose. I haven't had a real holiday in nearly 8 years, the closest I get is going to a festival or 2 for a long weekend every year. I haven't even left the country in over 10 years and as such my passport has expired.
Fucking hell this is depressing.
>> No. 11596 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 9:09 pm
11596 spacer
I accepted a job offer about 6 months ago, joining a relatively recently established team, and was explicitly told at the interview that they'd be looking for someone to head the team up down the line; that someone would be me but they couldn't offer me the job off the bat as I'd be new to the company and not familiar with the way they operate. I found out this week they've been interviewing a senior manager from a much larger competitor for the role and have been very impressed by him.

>>11593
>I haven't had a real holiday in nearly 8 years

I've had a few funny looks when I've said I haven't been on holiday this year. My other half is having a couple of years out of work after giving birth so money's tighter on just my income.
>> No. 11597 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 9:31 pm
11597 spacer
>>11595
Depressing is living in a bedsit surviving off instant noodles and sandwiches, whilst claiming dole and housing benefits. Which was me at 21.

17 years later I own a large 3 bedroom house, which I will own outright in 3 more years. I am putting approximately 500 quid away a month in ISAs. Apart from my mortgage I don't have any debt and I am planning to retire by the time I am 55.

I could live extravagantly and have a summer holiday in Mauritius and spend every winter skiing in the Alps. I would rather get VIP festival tickets and go see bands I enjoy. I am going to Florida in October/November for 5 nights to do Disney, Universal Halloween Horror Nights and a ton of other shit. I could lease a BMW X5, but I would rather own my 12 year old Landrover Discovery.
>> No. 11598 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 9:44 pm
11598 spacer
>>11597
>I am planning to retire by the time I am 55

If you're planning on living off your local government pension then you won't be able to access it until you're 57. The minimum pension age is going to be set at 10 years below the State Pension age when it goes up to 67 in 2028 so you won't be able to receive it at age 55 anymore.

Also, why are putting so much in cash? Are you actually investing any of it?
>> No. 11599 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 9:46 pm
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>>11597
I apologise if I have offended you.

In any case, what is the point of enjoying life at 50, and denying all of that when you are younger?
>> No. 11600 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 10:21 pm
11600 spacer
>>11599
To give my son all of the monetary advantages I never grew up with. Also I can actually enjoy my retirement without having to worry about working and doing nothing but paying off my evergrowing debts.
>> No. 11601 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 10:22 pm
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>>11600
Pricey to have children.
>> No. 11602 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 10:22 pm
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>>11598
I have a very good private pension which is going to be subsidised by the cash in my savings.
>> No. 11603 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 10:26 pm
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>>11602
Define very good.
>> No. 11604 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 10:45 pm
11604 spacer
>>11603
The company I work for put in another 20% on top of whatever I pay in with 18% cumulative Interest per annum.
>> No. 11629 Anonymous
9th October 2017
Monday 5:32 pm
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Cunts who think they are in charge when they're not. Cunts who are in charge but have no clue how to be. Cunts who are insufferable fat sacks of shit who need to make themselves feel better by meddling in the affairs of others.

Today I've come home from work in a fucking shit mood, over a frankly trivial issue. I've had three separate people bitch at me over the same thing, where a procedure has changed without anyone telling me. To add insult to injury two of three claimed that's how it has always been, as if I'm supposed to have doublethinked the old procedure out of fucking memory.

Despite the fact that nobody has raised an issue with the way I've been doing it for the past year and a fucking half. Apparently I've been doing it wrong this whole time, but everything has been just fine. If any of the wankers running the place had any idea what the word communication fucking meant, this shit would never happen to begin with.

It doesn't take a lot to spoil a good mood. Ugh.
>> No. 11632 Anonymous
11th October 2017
Wednesday 5:08 pm
11632 spacer
>>11588 here again.

The posho lads have been moaning today that they'll barely have enough money for holidays next summer because they've just booked their ski holidays for this winter. Naturally, they only have to pay for passes and flights because they have a Godfather or some other relation who owns an apartment in the Alps who's more than happy to let them stay.
>> No. 11633 Anonymous
11th October 2017
Wednesday 6:37 pm
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>>11632
How does this make you feel?
>> No. 11634 Anonymous
11th October 2017
Wednesday 8:25 pm
11634 spacer
>>11633
I'll clue you in, lad. Look at the premise of the thread.

There's no point discriminating against people based on something they have no control over like who their parents are, be that a kid who gets sent to public school or a kid born to a couple of scroungers.

However, it's still annoying that I've had to work much harder to be in a similar position to them career-wise when they're a little bit on the thick side (I've seen the standard of their work and they struggle with knowing the difference between your/you're, they're/their/there etc.) but have been able to rely upon their background and things like connections from golfing. Plus, no matter how hard I work I won't ever benefit from things like a six-figure gift towards a house deposit or an inheritance likely to be at the very least towards the million £ mark.
>> No. 11635 Anonymous
11th October 2017
Wednesday 8:56 pm
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>>11634
I wasn't being rude. I'm a doley, and never get to meet people like that, so I was just wondering. It would have probably depressed me.
>> No. 11636 Anonymous
11th October 2017
Wednesday 9:22 pm
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>>11635
I didn't think you was, sorry if my last post seemed a little curt.

They're how I envisaged your average Tory voter under the age of 30 would be. Floating through life without appreciating how easy they have it and instead thinking they've got there purely on merit; believing "I've worked hard and succeeded, so anyone else can do it too" and that poor people simply need to get over it and lose the massive chip on their shoulder. Preoccupied with the inheritance they'll get from their parents and the rise in the value of their properties. Generally nice enough, though, apart from the forced "bantz". They'll do things like spending several hundred pounds in a Michelin starred restaurant or going out for drinks with a fund manager as if it's just a casual everyday occurrence.

I've noticed that they're the ones who need things simplifying and repeating the most during training and that they're the ones most likely to complain when they've been told to do something despite the quality of their work being towards the lower side within the department.
>> No. 11641 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 3:31 pm
11641 spacer
We're changing back office provider. I lost count of the amount of times I heard "new world" and "journey" during the WebEx training for it.
>> No. 11642 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 7:13 pm
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>>11636
I'm an under 30 Tory voter. I started on zero and will have no inheritance.
>> No. 11643 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 8:04 pm
11643 spacer
>>11642

Ahh, so you're just a daft sod then?
>> No. 11644 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 8:18 pm
11644 spacer
>>11643
I would be worse off under any other party.
>> No. 11645 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 8:20 pm
11645 spacer
>>11644

Are you a bailiff?
>> No. 11646 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 8:24 pm
11646 spacer
>>11644
Yeah who needs the NHS, National Insurance or free public education? Never used any of 'em meself. Thots whi oi vote toory new if onlee ee ken save up to bi a playg kur
>> No. 11647 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 8:56 pm
11647 spacer
>>11646
I have private health and unemployment insurance policies and I'm well beyond state education age. If that's all the opposition has then forget it.
>> No. 11648 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 8:57 pm
11648 spacer
>>11646
What?

>>11645
No, I'm a badly paid engineer.
>> No. 11649 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 9:03 pm
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>>11647
Wow. Pity about the age thing.
>> No. 11650 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 9:18 pm
11650 spacer
Lads, this is one of the few threads on here we try not to shit up with cunt-offs. Don't be cunts, now.
>> No. 11651 Anonymous
28th October 2017
Saturday 11:08 pm
11651 spacer
>>11648
How do I become a badly paid engineer? Being on bennies is getting depressing, and I do have en engineering degree, although worthless.
>> No. 11652 Anonymous
29th October 2017
Sunday 9:45 am
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>>11651
If you can't engineer yourself a job how will you ever be able to engineer Doris' Virgin TV?
>> No. 11653 Anonymous
29th October 2017
Sunday 11:56 am
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>>11650
But mate I really wanna cunt off this tory boy. Cant believe you're ruining my fun like this! YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY REAL DAD!!
>> No. 11654 Anonymous
31st October 2017
Tuesday 8:10 pm
11654 spacer
Colleague: "My computers not working properly/is slow/etc."
Me: "If you look in the phone directory, there's a number for a company we pay to fix our computers."
Colleague - 5 minutes later after doing absolutely nothing: "It's still not working."
>> No. 11658 Anonymous
1st November 2017
Wednesday 7:13 pm
11658 spacer
My team lead had the temerity to criticise me for browsing the web in the office while he's basically refusing to do parts of his own job. His manager's head is stuck in the clouds so naturally nothing will come of this either way.
>> No. 11659 Anonymous
1st November 2017
Wednesday 8:00 pm
11659 spacer
>>11658
How is he employed if he doesn't do his job? You should take lessons from him.
>> No. 11660 Anonymous
1st November 2017
Wednesday 8:26 pm
11660 spacer
>>11659
That's the public sector for you.
>> No. 11685 Anonymous
23rd November 2017
Thursday 8:48 pm
11685 spacer
"Hey anon can you do Task 1, it is very imporatant that we get it done as quickly as possible?"

"Okay, but I'm already doing important job A which has to be done as soon as I can, which one should I prioritise?"

"Both."

....
Bonus Content:

"Can you make x?"

"It'll take 2 hours"

*condecending look* "You can do it in 1."

"if I do it in 1, I won't have time to test it and find the faults"

"just do it"

-one hour later-

"here is x I think it is going to be buggy, I haven't had time to test it."

"okay let's go through it."

-we now spend an hour together going through it and finding faults I would have removed if left the fuck alone to do my job-
>> No. 11788 Anonymous
2nd January 2018
Tuesday 4:49 pm
11788 spacer
EVERYONE IS ILL AND THEY'RE ALL SPREADING THEIR GERMS.
>> No. 11790 Anonymous
2nd January 2018
Tuesday 6:41 pm
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>>11788
Really annoys me. You're not being a martyr by coming into the office half-sick.
>> No. 11791 Anonymous
3rd January 2018
Wednesday 10:40 am
11791 spacer
>>11790
Half of it is to do with management. I once had chicken pox at 22, never had it when I was a kid. I had all the symptoms, rash developed the day before the spots, cold like symptoms and then the next day red spots all over.
I called in sick and say I have chicken pox, my store manager proceeds to grill me about how absence is bad, what am I going to do about it and how the team will be let down.

A similar thing happened when I nearly broke my ankle and couldn't put pressure on it. I cycled to work back then and my job was standing, rather than have me off they'd rather have me come in and sit down instead.
>> No. 11792 Anonymous
3rd January 2018
Wednesday 11:31 am
11792 spacer
>>11685

If it's going to take 2 hours, tell them it takes four. They'll tell you to do it in 2, and you will.

It's distressing how often this works.
>> No. 11793 Anonymous
3rd January 2018
Wednesday 12:23 pm
11793 spacer
First day back lads. Absolutely fucked my sleeping pattern over my fortnight off, peaking with staying up till 8am one night, so today is going to be a long slog on little sleep, even though I'm not planning on doing too much hard work (Accounts Manager).

Worst of all is I could barely button up my work trousers this morning, I half need a pap and I'm not sure I want to risk not being able to re-dress myself.
>> No. 11794 Anonymous
3rd January 2018
Wednesday 12:36 pm
11794 spacer
>>11792

The guy in particular was riding my arse every moment of the day. He knew enough to understand how long something takes to write, but no understanding of how long it takes to plan or test something. He had one of those "why aren't you just doing it" mentalities, he didn't really care if you were driving in the wrong direction just as long as you were doing it fast. It was contract work, I was there for 2 weeks, I was on a condition where if I proved myself to be skilled they would have to pay me more, in a field he considered himself good at, so spent the rest of the time trying to bring me down and trip me up.

They tried to get me back for more work and I flat out refused. Insufferable cunt.
>> No. 11795 Anonymous
3rd January 2018
Wednesday 12:42 pm
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>>11794

Fair play. It's the sweetest thing about contact work, they need you more than you need them, and it's nice to burn some bridges now and then.
>> No. 11796 Anonymous
3rd January 2018
Wednesday 7:04 pm
11796 spacer
>>11794
What kind of work is it?
>> No. 11797 Anonymous
4th January 2018
Thursday 2:38 pm
11797 spacer
>>11796

Financial analysis.

I used to automated and idiot proof processes for the thicker analyst using long formulae and vba. It is about as close to being a programmer as you can be and not be called a programmer.
>> No. 11798 Anonymous
4th January 2018
Thursday 3:44 pm
11798 spacer
>>11797
I know that feeling. I spent an entire year automating shit in Excel, and the chimps still managed to break it within days. I eventually started abusing the forms to have HUGE buttons and MASSIVE RED CAPITAL LETTERS. When someone asked if it was a bit patronising, I usually directed them to a time when they managed to break it.
>> No. 11799 Anonymous
4th January 2018
Thursday 8:21 pm
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>>11797
How hard is it to get into it? I want a career change. Google lists a few expensive certificates for charter status.
>> No. 11800 Anonymous
4th January 2018
Thursday 9:23 pm
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>>11799

It is one of those bullshit jobs where no one will accept you if you don't have experience but it is impossible to get experience. I lucked out and got on an intern scheme out of Uni with an investment bank, I can't say I know how else to break in, I have no formal qualifications related to the field.

I wouldn't recommend it. People will treat you like shit whilst climbing the ladder in multiple places because they assume you want the job bad enough to put up with it. I have an unholy talent for problem solving which means I was needed enough to break the social rules, and tell managers to fuck off when they push their luck, otherwise people in that industry will treat you like they own you and you were put on this earth to stare at a monitor for them every moment you aren't asleep.
>> No. 11801 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 7:41 pm
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>>11800
>I have an unholy talent for problem solving
Is working with Excel for a living not a problem?
>> No. 11802 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 8:14 pm
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>>11801

Excel is brilliant, but 99.9% of the plebs who use it are total morons. It's a very sophisticated programming environment masquerading as a piece of office software; the guys in finance who really know Excel are first-rate software developers without knowing it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nbkaYsR94c
>> No. 11803 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 8:24 pm
11803 spacer
>>11802

I can't imagine the sense of complete and utter hollowness a person must feel when they reach a point where their primary skill is to be an expert on Excel.

Jesus.
>> No. 11804 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 8:43 pm
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>>11802
Joel wasn't joking when he said he was about to present beginner level stuff. Dunno why you linked that.
>> No. 11805 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 8:45 pm
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>>11803
>Spolsky started working at Microsoft in 1991as a Program Manager on the Microsoft Excel team, where he designed Excel Basic and drove Microsoft's Visual Basic for Applications strategy

Yeah, what's knowing about Excel ever done for him?
>> No. 11806 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 8:52 pm
11806 spacer
>>11805
Only an Excel jockey claiming people who do the same job are "first-rate software developers" could conflate developing Excel itself with "knowing about Excel".
>> No. 11807 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 8:53 pm
11807 spacer
Some of the best Excel videos are a series by Martin Shkreli - I think the one he does on eBay is particularly good.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFSf5YhYQbw
>> No. 11808 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 8:55 pm
11808 spacer
>>11804

Stick this up your eval and apply it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yKf8TrLUOw
>> No. 11809 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 8:55 pm
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>>11806
From your retarded outbursts, it is obvious that you are neither a programmer nor know anything about Excel. Have a word with yourself, lad.
>> No. 11810 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 9:02 pm
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>>11806
Not got the hang of this anonymous posting yet, have you?
>> No. 11811 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 9:11 pm
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>>11809

I've spent more time reverse engineering and studying Excel than, I'd wager, less than ten other people in this country and I agree with him. You might just be overestimating yourself a touch.
>> No. 11812 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 12:39 am
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>>11807
How is he typing that fast? He knows all the Excel keyboard shortcuts and that switching tab nonsense I used to do 20 years ago.
>> No. 11813 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 1:17 am
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>>11808
Functional programming has officially been gay since January 2017, and is currently scheduled to remain gay until at least 2024.

Gay programming languages right now are Scala, Clojure, Pascal, and PHP. JavaScript can be gay without "use strict"; Perl is gay on days with a T in the name and alternate Sundays; and as of this week, Rust is no longer gay, its place taken by VIsual Basic post-6. Oh, and x86 assembler is temporarily gay, at least until it's reviewed towards the end of next week.

Back to you, Chris.
>> No. 11814 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 1:24 am
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>>11806
Come back when you've got an Excel spreadsheet that works out your projected electricity costs more accurately than your electricity supplier that you quote to them over the phone every other month because they've tried to jack up your direct debit again.
>> No. 11815 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 12:03 pm
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>>11814

Lad I'm sorry but I don't think anyone, anywhere, is going to take you seriously if you think that's something to be genuinely proud of.
>> No. 11816 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 1:12 pm
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>>11815
You won't be saying that when you're arguing for months over a £500 credit balance.
>> No. 11817 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 6:02 pm
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>>11816
Fuck's sake, lad. Don't dick about on the phone playing 'my data's better than yours' (unless your time is worthless and you relish dealing with powerless call centre script-readers).
Recorded delivery letter, clearly stating what you want to happen.
>> No. 11819 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 12:58 am
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>>11817
I'm not paying for that every other month when the notice comes through.
>> No. 11820 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 4:21 am
11820 spacer
>>11819

I think the idea is the first letter stops the problem pal.
>> No. 11821 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 8:56 am
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>>11820
Then it's a shit idea, because it clearly isn't going to work.

"Dear Mr Leccy Man, please keep my payment at a tenner a month for ever and ever, amen. Yours, daftlad."
>> No. 11822 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 10:10 am
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>>11816
Jokes on you, I steal my electricity.
>> No. 11823 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 10:34 am
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>>11821

Is that what you're saying to them when you ring up then?
>> No. 11824 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 1:11 pm
11824 spacer
>>11821
Or you could just cash out and change your supplier to one who won't hoard your money? Stop paying by DD? Almost anything seems more fruitful than trying to argue data with a call centre (which, from your grumbling, isn't working)
>> No. 11825 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 2:24 pm
11825 spacer
>>11824
>Or you could just cash out and change your supplier to one who won't hoard your money?
Well that only rules out every single one of them.

>Almost anything seems more fruitful than trying to argue data with a call centre (which, from your grumbling, isn't working)
Where do you get that impression?

whiteline
>> No. 11826 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 6:29 pm
11826 spacer
>>11822
I wonder if it is possible to actually steal leccy.
>> No. 11828 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 8:01 pm
11828 spacer
>>11826
yes, very.
>> No. 11829 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 8:08 pm
11829 spacer
>>11826
Yeah, just get a set of car jumper leads and bypass your meter. It's perfectly safe until your house burns down and you accidentally summon sh'gyth the god of electrocuted sparrows.
>> No. 11830 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 8:11 pm
11830 spacer
>>11828
>>11829
>accidentally summon sh'gyth the god of electrocuted sparrows.
Fun. Maybe I'll find purpose.

Would bypassing the meter really work? Obiovusly I can't open the door for the leccy meter man and tell him that nobody lives in the house.
>> No. 11831 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 9:33 pm
11831 spacer
>>11830
People do it all the time. Weed farms in particular are notorious for it.
>> No. 11833 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 10:22 pm
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>>11831
Weed farmers are notorious for accidentally summoning sh'gyth the god of electrocuted sparrows? holy shit! Drug dealing is more dangerous than it sounds.
>> No. 11834 Anonymous
8th January 2018
Monday 10:41 pm
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>>11833
Why do you think the Vietnamese gangs use trafficked slaves instead of running the grows themselves?
>> No. 11835 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 12:06 am
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>>11830
It definitely works, but is dangerous and prone to electrocution and fire, as well as discovery.
>> No. 11836 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 4:09 am
11836 spacer
>>11835

If you know what you're doing you could negate the fire risk and (most of) the electrocution. I don't know how the national grid works though, whether or not a company could detect excess power usage where they weren't expecting it, or if there's be any way to localise it.

I rented a flat once that had one of those coin fed meters. It was extortionate, but the coin thingy was just locked with a padlock, so I learned how to pick it. They only collected the coins once or twice in the time I was there and nobody seemed to notice I'd somehow only spent twenty quid in three months.
>> No. 11837 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 9:44 am
11837 spacer
>>11836
As I understand it, there's no fine-grain metering upstream of the house. They'll spot overloads (so don't take the piss).
There are unmetered loads - streetlights, comms cabinets, traffic stuff, all taking power too, on aggregated billing.
I don't know if the 'suppliers' all pool data to work out how much should be going through any given substation / phase - seems unlikely given their shambolic nature. Weed farms appear to get busted for reasons other than electricity billing - the prosecutions for electricity theft (abstraction?) seem to come after the fact.
I'd still not recommend nicking it, though. Naughty.
>> No. 11838 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 10:07 am
11838 spacer
>>11837
https://www.ofgem.gov.uk/ofgem-publications/39239/7639-terrykeenan.pdf
is mildly interesting, if dated (1986). Substation metering was fitted where thieving was suspected.
>> No. 11839 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 10:47 am
11839 spacer
>>11837

Police helicopters do frequent night sweeps with infra-red cameras. Weed grows give off a tremendous amount of heat energy from solar lamps, filtration, etc., and are often poorly ventilated creating a huge bright spot for the sensor to lock onto.

It's the air con wot dun it.
>> No. 11840 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 12:59 pm
11840 spacer
>>11839
Loads of people round here have a few polytunnels. Hard to imagine there's not a few plants in among the tomatoes...
I'd be tempted, if I partook
>> No. 11841 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 4:29 pm
11841 spacer
The gents' at work only have one cube on each floor (400 people, 7 floors). I've just had to walk down three floors to find one that wasn't occupied.
>> No. 11842 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 7:03 pm
11842 spacer
>>11836
That's interesting. What did you do once you picked the lock?
>> No. 11843 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 7:26 pm
11843 spacer
>>11842
I took the coins out, went down the laplander shop to buy fags and returned home to sit in the cold.
>> No. 11844 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 7:50 pm
11844 spacer
>>11842

I just took one of the coins and fed it through a few times, then locked it back up. Did that a couple of times a month. Left the coins that were in there.

I think I got away with it because they collected the coins for all the flats at the same time, and they didn't count the coins, just chucked them in a bag. So as long as there was a handful in there I was fine.
>> No. 11845 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 1:22 am
11845 spacer
Not sure if this is /101/ worthy but the cunting vending machine stole my money, this piece of shit never seems to work correctly.
Some days if will give you items on another row, today the coil thing just fucking span then twisted up and nothing dropped.

All I wanted was a fucking lion bar.
>> No. 11846 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 12:54 pm
11846 spacer
>>11845


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJ7DKYwDsZA
>> No. 11848 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 7:46 pm
11848 spacer
Biscuits. Today the last of the biscuits from Christmas were eaten. At least that was the case until it turned out someone had hidden a tin especially for this scenario.

Fuck's sake. I'm putting on weight in this job because I'm a grazer and I have no will power.
>> No. 11849 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 8:07 pm
11849 spacer
>>11848

> someone had hidden a tin especially for this scenario

Something about this really makes my soul ache, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Something about all the zany biscuit based shenanigans that have been going on in your office the last few weeks, and how the people that work there have lives so bereft of joy that they couldn't bear to see that biscuity happiness drain from their working day and felt compelled to make sure the biscuits, and the fun they bring, never run out.
>> No. 11850 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 8:30 pm
11850 spacer
>>11849
That's nothing. Wait until you've got people bubbling over with excitement because caterers have brought in a spread for a meeting and there's the prospect of picking over the leftovers and getting a free mini sausage roll.
>> No. 11851 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 8:34 pm
11851 spacer
>>11849
>>11850

I don't think it's fair to characterise their entire lives like that, surely it's just their work lives, surely?
>> No. 11852 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 8:34 pm
11852 spacer
>>11850
In my old job, one of the highlights of the day was being offered a sweet from a lovely old lady who worked there.
>> No. 11854 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 8:56 pm
11854 spacer
>>11851

People who have fulfilling lives outside of work don't generally go to such lengths to ensure that nominally short-lived confectionery based office fun continues well into the new year.

Patently, these are the people who go home to a cat that doesn't like them and a ready meal for one cooked in a microwave oven that, quite like them themselves, is just too old and weak to do things to any satisfaction.
>> No. 11855 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 9:05 pm
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>>11854
>confectionery based office fun

I think you're reading too much into eating a tin of biscuits.
>> No. 11856 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 9:08 pm
11856 spacer
>>11851

A huge proportion of the population live lives of quiet desperation. Follow some of your mum's mates or your old school friends on Facebook and seriously study their timelines. Pick over every post in forensic detail, looking for any hint of distinctiveness. You'll find tons of people for whom life is just an endless cycle of work/telly/wine/Facebook/bed, occasionally punctuated by a week in Kefalonia or someone's wedding. They have no hobbies, they have no interests, they have no opinions, they just while away the hours until death.

How else do you explain the Freakshake? People got genuinely excited over a sickly-sweet milkshake concoction, messily served in a glass made to look like an old jam jar. They went out and queued for one, they artfully positioned it to get the perfect photograph, they raved about it to anyone who would listen. We had a national craze that was directly equivalent to "someone brought biscuits in to work". How little do you have going on if a bad milkshake is the highlight of your week?

If you ask me, it's a quite deliberate plot. People who can amuse themselves don't rush out and buy whatever old shit is being sold to them. People who know how to paint or have a pigeon loft or collect old postcards don't spend all weekend figuring out how to make Alexa turn on their WiFi-enabled kettle. Going for a walk or browsing the public library or having a kickabout in the park isn't good for the economy. We've been conditioned into passivity by a century of relentless marketing. Do nothing, buy everything.
>> No. 11857 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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>>11856
What I've always found bewildering is how middle-aged women can do something as mundane as tagging themselves on Facebook at the local carvery and it'll end up with about 60 likes, all from other middle-aged women.
>> No. 11858 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 9:26 pm
11858 spacer
>>11856
Yeah, collectors.. the apex of interesting and fulfilling hobbyists. They definitely don't buy any old shit but will drop a few grand if the Royal Mint spits out a 20p coin without a date on it.
>> No. 11859 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 9:38 pm
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>>11857
They're all just desperately joining in.
>> No. 11868 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 4:47 pm
11868 spacer

s-l640.jpg
118681186811868
>>11856
>People who can amuse themselves don't rush out and buy whatever old shit is being sold to them

I've just bought a Hairy Biker's pie maker. What does that make me?
>> No. 11869 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 5:14 pm
11869 spacer
>>11868

Northern?
>> No. 11871 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 6:01 pm
11871 spacer
>>11868

Fat?
>> No. 11872 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 6:03 pm
11872 spacer
>>11868
How can a machine be "honest"?
>> No. 11873 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 6:05 pm
11873 spacer
>>11872
Well, it cannot be dishonest.
>> No. 11874 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 7:11 pm
11874 spacer
>>11873

Tell that to the people behind One Armed Bandits.
>> No. 11875 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 7:16 pm
11875 spacer
>>11874

The chance of winning is displayed on the machine.
>> No. 11876 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 7:25 pm
11876 spacer
>>11856

To be fair, I have a lot of hobbies but I still end up spending money on them. Just because the Freakshake industry doesn't get my money, doesn't mean I haven't spent thousands in Maplins (before it was shite) or Canon or Leica or Uniden or MachineMart or Bearmach etc etc. I might have quite a bit going on in my life, but I'm still a slave to capitalism.
>> No. 11877 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 7:30 pm
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>>11875

Not before the advent of regulated gambling commissions they didn't. You do know that it was the mob who built the first Las Vegas casinos, right?
>> No. 11878 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 7:35 pm
11878 spacer
>>11877

Oh, my mistake. I foolishly thought the conversation was about present day Britain and not early 1900s Nevada, since the context was a fucking Hairy Bikers pie maker.

My deepest apologies.
>> No. 11879 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 8:55 pm
11879 spacer
Now all we need is someone to blast the floor with piss and this discussion will be complete.
>> No. 11880 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 9:08 pm
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>>11878

That's because you don't know the difference between a one armed bandit and a fixed odds betting terminal you festering pustule of ignorance.

>>11879

I'll piss up your arse you cunt.
>> No. 11881 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 9:57 pm
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NEW-ONE-POUND-COIN.jpg
118811188111881
>>11880
I think someone needs a hug.
>> No. 11882 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 11:01 pm
11882 spacer
>>11881

That's a fruit machine you fucking spacco.
>> No. 11883 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 2:08 am
11883 spacer
>>11882
... a.k.a. a one armed bandit.
>> No. 11884 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 2:52 am
11884 spacer
>>11883

One armed bandits were (originally) the old mechanical fuckers that were literally rigged to steal from you, hence the name.
>> No. 11885 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 11:39 am
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>>11884
Is there a point coming anytime soon?
>> No. 11886 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 12:30 pm
11886 spacer
>>11884
Surely then the machine manufacturers are dishonest, not the machine.

The machine is doing exactly what it is designed to.

Like the VW emissions thing, they didn't fine the cars, they fined the manufacturer.
>> No. 11887 Anonymous
13th January 2018
Saturday 9:33 pm
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>>11886
What if the machine is secretly evil?
>> No. 11888 Anonymous
13th January 2018
Saturday 10:27 pm
11888 spacer
98% of job adverts read as "We want to hire someone who is already working in the EXACT same job doing the same things."
>> No. 11889 Anonymous
13th January 2018
Saturday 10:34 pm
11889 spacer
>>11888

A job advert is a wish list, not a shopping list. If the requirements seem unreasonable, apply anyway - your odds are much better, because a lot of good candidates will have been put off applying.
>> No. 11890 Anonymous
13th January 2018
Saturday 10:51 pm
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>>11889

Wot he said.

I've applied for loads of jobs I wasn't 'supposed' to by the requirements, but I still get phone calls, interviews, and job offers from them. You just have to remember that a human (or HR) wrote the listing, and they don't really know what they want.

If they throw your CV away because you don't have the requisite 28 years management experience for the junior sales role, then so be it. But they probably won't, once the applications stack up and they realise nobody fits the bill exactly.
>> No. 11891 Anonymous
13th January 2018
Saturday 11:07 pm
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>>11856

>they have no opinions
This is probably the most sickening part of adult life to me, people are either too fucking scared or dim witted to take a reasoned stance on anything, Social media has demonstrated to me people are sheep to the latest fucking zeitgeist with no thought of the underlying ideals involved in a position, they can switch from once extreme to the other without thinking about the practical applications of either and what the underlying implications and consequences are. They will just forward a political article, or video, or Infographic with no intention to defend or consider the nuances of it, and never write down a view they wrote. We are ultimately a species of narcissistic conspiracy theorists buying into the narrative that best services us.

I used to love ego sparing in my youth and the only reason I stopped is because everyone around me just started wallowing or avoiding conflict instead of confronting or defending anything they care about. I don’t even care who is wrong or right, conflict is what makes life interesting, and its absence in adult dynamics leaves me profoundly under stimulated.
>> No. 11892 Anonymous
14th January 2018
Sunday 5:05 pm
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>>11891
Part of the problem is that society has become very fickle and overly sensitive. You can't express an opinion publicly these days for fear that some people will at some point, either now or in the future, decide that it isn't "correct" and before you know it you're being hounded out of your job and have the mob banging down your door.
>> No. 11893 Anonymous
14th January 2018
Sunday 8:19 pm
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>>11892
I pretend I am not interested in politics. The opposite is true, and I'm a massive policy nerd, but I kill any discussion of it on purpose.
>> No. 11894 Anonymous
14th January 2018
Sunday 8:27 pm
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>>11892

You're only going on about FREEZE PEACH because you're a NAZI PAEDO. Decent, honest people have nothing to fear from the inquisition.
>> No. 11895 Anonymous
14th January 2018
Sunday 9:18 pm
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>>11892

Oh, and what's the penalty for causing offense? That's right, fuck all.
>> No. 11896 Anonymous
14th January 2018
Sunday 10:08 pm
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>>11895
>Oh, and what's the penalty for causing offense?
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/15/magazine/how-one-stupid-tweet-ruined-justine-saccos-life.html
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/aug/16/sarah-champion-resigns-as-shadow-equalities-minister-sun-article-laplanderstani-men
http://skepchick.org/2013/10/why-i-dont-just-go-to-the-cops/
>> No. 11897 Anonymous
14th January 2018
Sunday 11:10 pm
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>>11896

A Nobel laureate was forced to resign after making a mildly sexist (but essentially self-deprecating) joke during an impromptu speech.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/jun/13/tim-hunt-forced-to-resign

The president-elect of the American College of Surgeons was forced to resign after writing a light-hearted article in a medical newsletter. The article quoted a study showing that women who had unprotected sex were at lower risk of depression and joked that semen may act as an antidepressant.

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/741207

An American college professor was forced to step down from his role as programme director after making the following comment on Facebook, in relation to the election of Donald Trump and the #notmyamerica protests: "A bus ticket from Rochester to Canada is $16. If this is not your America, then I will pay for your ticket if you promise to never come back."

https://www.democratandchronicle.com/story/news/2016/11/13/ur-program-head-out-chiding-election-protesters/93772612/

The leader of UKIP is being asked to resign because his girlfriend had made racist comments in a private text message conversation with a friend. Setting aside the obnoxious politics of UKIP, this is properly Orwellian - it's not enough that you can lose your job for making an off-colour joke, we need collective punishment to stamp out the threat of crimethink.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/jan/14/ukip-leader-henry-bolton-girlfriend-jo-marney-suspended-meghan-merkle
>> No. 11898 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 12:43 am
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>>11897
>this is properly Orwellian
>being asked to resign

Yeah, that was what happened when Winston Smith went into Room 101. He was asked to resign.

Come off it. Pressure from the public or the media is not the same thing as authoritarian intervention by the state. I'm not necessarily saying it's great, all the same - that Justine Sacco thing, for instance - but don't call it 'Orwellian'.

Brookerian?
>> No. 11899 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 1:41 am
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>>11898
I think you might just have exposed yourself as one of the many people who haven't actually read Nineteen Eighty-Four with that nonsense.
>> No. 11900 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 5:49 am
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>>11899
Oh, what, is it supposed to be a reference to the Two Minutes Hate, then? Again, that was state-mandated.
>> No. 11901 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 7:58 am
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>>11900

Come on mate.
>> No. 11902 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 10:56 am
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>>11898

Pressure from the public or the media is exactly how the state opperates in 1984.
>> No. 11903 Anonymous
18th January 2018
Thursday 2:44 pm
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>>11856

So why are you following people in-depth on Facebook if you have hobbies
>> No. 11904 Anonymous
18th January 2018
Thursday 3:04 pm
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>>11903
People watching is a very cheap hobby.
>> No. 11905 Anonymous
18th January 2018
Thursday 3:56 pm
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>>11904

Watching television and drinking wine is pretty cheap too, as hobbies go.
>> No. 11906 Anonymous
18th January 2018
Thursday 4:34 pm
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>>11856

My entire workplace now consists of these folk, since some of the old guard retired. They spend their weekends shopping at out-of-town developments for tablecloths and tat. The poor blokes don't even get a sniff of the pub or a football match. It's utter madness, I simply can't understand the excitement.

And yet at times, even though I actively paint and play a couple of instruments, I sometimes feel like the lazy one.
>> No. 11907 Anonymous
18th January 2018
Thursday 7:59 pm
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>>11905
I for one do not own a television, but I am drinking wine right now. Great hobby.
>> No. 11908 Anonymous
18th January 2018
Thursday 8:22 pm
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>>11856

>If you ask me, it's a quite deliberate plot. People who can amuse themselves don't rush out and buy whatever old shit is being sold to them. People who know how to paint or have a pigeon loft or collect old postcards don't spend all weekend figuring out how to make Alexa turn on their WiFi-enabled kettle. Going for a walk or browsing the public library or having a kickabout in the park isn't good for the economy. We've been conditioned into passivity by a century of relentless marketing. Do nothing, buy everything.

You're absolutely spot on, of course.

I once made the mistake of watching telly on acid, and I've never been able to un-see how deeply rooted the brainwashing and subliminal messaging of advertising and consumer culture in general is.

The thing that really cements my worldview is how defensive people become if you challenge them on their blind consumerism. Of course, it's not necessarily prudent to be "that guy" all the time, it certainly won't win you many friends. But people really will bend over backwards to avoid confronting the idea that their lies have basically become an empty, meaningless void, made bearable only by bits of plastic and microchips that you have to replace every two years.
>> No. 11909 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 5:14 am
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>>11908

>The thing that really cements my worldview is how defensive people become if you challenge them on their blind consumerism.

People get defensive when you challenge any part of their lives, mate.

For example,

>I once made the mistake of watching telly on acid, and I've never been able to un-see how deeply rooted the brainwashing and subliminal messaging of advertising and consumer culture in general is.

Is bollocks hippy tosh. You didn't suddenly gaze into the abyss, and if you couldn't already tell that adverts and product placements were psychological in nature then no amount of ego death was going to help you.
>> No. 11910 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 6:47 am
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>>11909
>if you couldn't already tell that adverts and product placements were psychological in nature then no amount of ego death was going to help you.
He's still right, though, eh? Even if it did take a daft acid "revelation" to bring the point home.

I do know how he feels. The vapid nature of the content and insidiousness of advertising that represent regular television really do become blindingly unbearable when you watch whilst tripping, especially if you're a younglad at the time.
>> No. 11911 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 8:53 am
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>>11910

Oh yeah, he's not wrong, it's mental. Try watching an American channel for a while, mind - it truly explains a lot. The drug adverts are horrifying. And the fact the commercial breaks are every ten minutes.

My only point was that of course people are defensive when you call their life a sham, particularly if you use the phrase 'blind consumerism.
>> No. 11912 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 10:53 am
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>>11911
Watching American TV is like using dial-up today, you wonder how anyone could ever have put up with it. A million channels, wall to wall absolute shite, and they'll put an advert break after the intro song, before the show's even started. And yeah, it does make you rather appreciative of our oppressive Orwellian big government's advertising standards agency.
>> No. 11913 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 11:47 am
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>>11912
>our oppressive Orwellian big government's advertising standards agency.
There's no such thing. The ASA is an industry body, not a government agency.
>> No. 11914 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 12:25 pm
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>>11913

I feel like this is somewhat more sinister than if it was a government agency.
>> No. 11915 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 12:33 pm
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>>11914
Not at all. They're nothing like the PCC, which really was a shambles, especially when Dacre was chairing it.
>> No. 11916 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 12:33 pm
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>>11913
Fair shout, I never knew. I thought the BBFC was a government body too.
>> No. 11917 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 12:50 pm
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>>11915

I don't trust industries on prinipal to self regulate because ultimately their self interest overides public good. They feel like a PR exercise to me. Don't get me wrong they can have they should have say to regulators and it is important that they do but they can't be making the decisions, these organisations look too much like lobbies to me.
>> No. 11918 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 1:05 pm
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>>11916
Ads on early ITV were regulated by statute. The print sector didn't want the same thing happening to them so established a code and a regulator to go with it. This being the early 60s British establishment, they were pretty even-handed and had a keen sense of duty, which the relevant government department specifically called out when recommending that a statutory regulator wasn't needed. When the IBA was broken up, the ASA was given responsibility for advertising content. Ofcom only really deals with things like scheduling violations or taste and decency.
>> No. 11919 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 1:15 pm
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>>11917
Depending on the industry, self-regulation can work very well. As you say, companies will act in their own interests, and it is often in their interest to have effective self-regulation because that's a very good way of keeping the government from regulating them instead. One of the findings from Leveson that underpinned a number of the recommendations was that the self-regulation in the press was, by and large, not effective as publications could and often did violate the codes with relative impunity.
>> No. 11920 Anonymous
19th January 2018
Friday 5:29 pm
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>>11911
>>11910

Obviously, I mean it doesn't take a genius to see it; the thing is you usually just ignore it in order to enjoy your programme. I more meant that when you have a head full of psychedelics, it's pretty much the only thing you can see.
>> No. 11972 Anonymous
5th February 2018
Monday 4:39 pm
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Some utter twat had left their mobile on their desk with their ringer set obnoxiously loud. It's rung three times in the last 20 minutes.

How fucking hard is it to take it with you when you leave the room?
>> No. 11973 Anonymous
5th February 2018
Monday 5:18 pm
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I've been tasked with training up an idiot. He's been at the company for over three years and he's still classed as a trainee; there's someone who was promoted into our team a few months ago and is already regarded as more competent than him.

I sort of sympathise with him, as he's effectively been neglected for the past three years but he hasn't really shown any gumption to try and take it upon himself to learn; he has to be spoon-fed and seems incapable of truly thinking for himself. He regularly whines he hasn't been given more responsibility but he's still making fundamental errors and it doesn't help that he's not very responsive to feedback because he's got an inflated sense of the standard of his work.
>> No. 11974 Anonymous
5th February 2018
Monday 6:39 pm
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>>11972
In our office, the usual treatment for that is to put the phone in the fridge.
>> No. 11975 Anonymous
6th February 2018
Tuesday 12:03 am
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>>11974
To stop it going off?
>> No. 11977 Anonymous
6th February 2018
Tuesday 1:23 am
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>>11975
To encourage the others.

Your coat, sir.
>> No. 11979 Anonymous
6th February 2018
Tuesday 12:53 pm
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>>11972
My office last year was simply that. Every fucker would leave their phone at their desk and often people would just call until they got an answer.

There was one twat, however, who would be completely oblivious to his phone ringing, so he would be looking at pictures of motorbikes on Google while his phone was blaring out his shitty ringtone, often several times in a row, without even a stir of attention from him. Eventually when he left it on his desk one time I changed the ringtone to save my own sanity. I doubt he noticed.
>> No. 11998 Anonymous
9th February 2018
Friday 9:50 pm
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One of the young 'uns at work today said they'd never heard of U2 or Guns N' Roses. Is this what getting old is like?
>> No. 11999 Anonymous
9th February 2018
Friday 11:31 pm
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>>11998

Do you work at a nursery?
>> No. 12000 Anonymous
9th February 2018
Friday 11:44 pm
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>>11999
Nope. The person in question is early twenties.
>> No. 12001 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 12:41 am
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We had a kid doing some work experience with us this week, he was born in 2001. I remember when 2001 was the far future and we were going to have flying cars and personal jet packs.
>> No. 12002 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 5:44 am
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>>11998

Perhaps, but at the same time when I was a teenlad back in 2005 or so, I had still heard of Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, even The Who and Small Faces etc.

It's not always a case of being too young to know, just not giving a shit about music.
>> No. 12003 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 11:09 am
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>>12002
The middle aged men with chips on their shoulders constantly fire 70s/80s pop culture questions at me, a "young'in". I'm also in my early 20s, but can usually answer most of them.
>> No. 12004 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 11:18 am
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>>11998

Don't make the mistake of living in the past. You'll end up as one of those bitter old biddies who spend their twilight years whinging about how they hate their life because its not like "in the old days" (which never really existed except through a pair of rose tinted glasses).
>> No. 12005 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 11:43 am
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>>12003

Just hit back at them with questions about Migos and Cardi B.
>> No. 12006 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 1:47 pm
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>>12005
I would if I knew anything about them, or cared. The stranger thing is that the bigger names (Ed Sheeran, Adele), these middle aged men are sat there at 9am hitting the refresh button for tickets. I can't imagine why anyone at all would like Ed Sheeran, but a 50-year-old man especially just boggles my mind.
>> No. 12007 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 2:24 pm
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>>12006
>the bigger names (Ed Sheeran, Adele), these middle aged men are sat there at 9am hitting the refresh button for tickets.

That'll be for the wife.
>> No. 12008 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 2:27 pm
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>>12007
You'd think, but it's not. The Wife goes, but they too genuinely like them.
>> No. 12009 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 6:06 pm
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>>12008

It's because he's the musical equivalent of soft vegetables. Old people can't handle this modern al dente shite, nor can they process any music that might have any hint of nuance or force behind it.
>> No. 12010 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 6:11 pm
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>>12009
But you'd think they'd just watch Showaddywaddy or Status Quo in concert as they do every year.
>> No. 12011 Anonymous
10th February 2018
Saturday 8:42 pm
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>>12010

Maybe they feel more hip and modern if they listen to him. He's one of them new fangled artists, but timelessly bland.
>> No. 12021 Anonymous
14th February 2018
Wednesday 6:28 pm
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This isn't really a moan, I just wanted to share it:

At work we buy some products from an Italian company. We get paperwork accompanying the deliveries, and at the bottom it's signed:

>Mr Italian Chap
>QUALITY ASS. MANAGER

My inner child chuckles every time.

Reposted because I manage to mess up the spoiler code every single bloody time.
>> No. 12022 Anonymous
14th February 2018
Wednesday 6:55 pm
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I've been referred to as a "techie whizz kid" this week because I showed someone how to add websites to their bookmarks bar.
>> No. 12023 Anonymous
14th February 2018
Wednesday 8:43 pm
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>>12022
THE CHOSEN ONE HAS ARRIVED
>> No. 12024 Anonymous
14th February 2018
Wednesday 9:44 pm
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>>12021

We have a company called Associated Plastics or something. Their account code is ASS01 and they send us payments from Ass Plastics. Anything for a laugh in the accounts department.
>> No. 12026 Anonymous
15th February 2018
Thursday 5:15 pm
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>>12023
I've been the chosen one ever since I showed them how to do compound growth on Excel.
>> No. 12027 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 1:30 am
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>>12022
have you really
>> No. 12028 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 7:12 am
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>>12027
Have you ever had to work in an office with people over the age of 40, particularly those who say things like "COMPUTERS JUST DON'T LIKE ME" and other bollocks along those lines? I'll clue you in:-

>>5594
>Knowing something as basic as Alt + Tab to switch between windows is seen as witchcraft/being a complete computer nerd

>>5598
>The account in my office knows me as the "techy guy" because I showed her that hovering over the time in the taskbar will show her today's date.

>>7436
>I've just been referred to as "techie" for being able to put files into a zip folder.

>>7438
>This morning I've already had to go around and help someone who had turned off num lock and another who looked at me like some kind of sorcerer for introducing her to format painter.

>>8786
>I've spent a today being the "techie guy".

>Helping out someone who accidentally went back a web page because they'd pressed backspace. Being called to the other side of the office because someone else couldn't figure out why double clicking on a document wasn't doing anything when it turned out they already had it open. Helping someone who didn't know how to type negative numbers into Excel. Demonstrating how to use the snipping tool and create a zip file.

>>8792
>A couple of things I missed from my "techie" day yesterday - helping someone who had managed to set the default printer to one in a different room, showing them how to print double sided and then helping someone else who couldn't understand why a document kept printing on the wrong type of paper because they hadn't selected which trays to print from.

>>8888
>Today's techie job - going round to the other side of the office to help someone who didn't know how to save a document from an e-mail.
>> No. 12029 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 8:17 am
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>>12028
>format painter

To be fair I have no idea what that is
>> No. 12030 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 12:08 pm
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>>12029
It paints formatting from source to one or more destinations. I don't get why they name these things so cryptically.
>> No. 12031 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 12:16 pm
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>>12028
What I've found with these people is that they don't want to learn, so they just say "oh computers hate me" and get someone else to do it for them. I've even made user guides for things I had to show people had to do time and time again (graphs in excel, for example), but they still ask me, every time, how to change the colour of a line or whatever.
>> No. 12032 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 1:02 pm
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>>12029

It copies the formating (font, size, bold underlined, ect.) in the selected area to another area (the next area you select).

It is one of those tools that seems so intuitive and obvious once you use it you can't believe no one thought of it before they did. Like all good design the though that went into it is easily dismissed now that it exists.
>> No. 12033 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 1:39 pm
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>>12031

As I've gotten older I've begun to appreciate somethings aren't worth learning. Mostly through bad learning experiences of obnoxious interfaces that grind you down over a life time. I realise what you are talking about seems like very basic stuff but at some point we all get tired of keeping up and stop learning the new interfaces and tricks (I really haven't cared what features my phone has other than calls, messages, music player, and internet browser for years), eventually you fall into the logic that any task that seem difficult to me the interface will now probably change in a few years’ time to make things easier so I don't need to force myself through learning anyway.

As we age we all learn to accept certain limitations and appreciate the division of labour of asking the young people how to do things we don't want to spend time learning, and it makes them feel valued, imagine how awful it would be to start working somewhere where everyone else knew everything 20 years better than you did otherwise.
>> No. 12034 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 2:01 pm
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>>12032
>you can't believe no one thought of it before they did
It was in the first version of Word to have coloured buttons on the toolbar. How early do you think it was necessary?
>> No. 12036 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 2:11 pm
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>>12033

Maybe it's just because I've not hit the age yet, but I think the opposite - I really can't help but dig in to whatever I'm doing to see how it works and what I can do. Similarly, if I don't know how to do something I am still capable of finding out how to do it myself - and I learned most of my technical and life knowledge before you could just google it.

There's plenty of yoof stuff that I don't understand, and I get just not being interested in the latest 'thing' anymore, as you've lived long enough to realise most bleeding edge killer apps are fads.

But I cannot get into the mindset of someone who looks at an unfamiliar system, and instead of thinking "I wonder how I get my emails up on this thing" they think "why have they removed the emails from this computer". It's utterly incomprehensible. My natural urge is to just poke around and see what happens. I had assumed all people had this curiosity. Are they just scared they'll break the thing by poking around in the settings? Are they wilfully refusing to learn because, like you say, they think they'll never get their head around the next version so why bother ever trying? Is it just that their version of googling a problem is to call the intern over? I can't imagine living in a world where I just assumed a major tool in my job was incomprehensible to me.

Do you never just wonder how to do something and then look up if it's possible? I don't think I need to confine this just to computers, don't you like to know vaguely how your car works? How to change a tyre or a bulb? It's great that we can just pay someone to do it for us, sure, but I'm not I'll ever be able to let go of wanting to at least understand how it's done.

Just yesterday I had a problem with a light switch in my house, I've never in my life looked at the back of a light switch or wired a house or anything like that, but after about fifteen minutes of fiddling I had figured it out. I'm sure an electrician could have done it in thirty seconds flat, but I learned something I wouldn't have by paying them to do it, even if they'd explained it after. You could argue that's not a good use of my time, but if I ever come across the problem again I know how to deal with it.
>> No. 12040 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 2:24 pm
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>>12034

Well any point between the invention of the word processor and the first version to have it really.
>> No. 12041 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 2:43 pm
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>>12036

Do you never just wonder how to do something and then look up if it's possible?

Sure, but then you find an answer and it is all in jargon and your eyes glaze over after you've checked multiple locations and they are all just the same jargon and trying to find out what the jargon means leads you down a rabbit hole where you realise you just don't care enough about what should be a small simple thing you just want to do but apparently will take hours to understand and you really aren't in the mood you just want it done.
>> No. 12042 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 3:13 pm
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>>12041

This really doesn't sound like a realistic scenario. What jargon are we talking about?
>> No. 12043 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 3:31 pm
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>>12042

Could be any task really, but in my experiance it happenes with anything related to linux almost instantly.
>> No. 12047 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 3:53 pm
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>>12042
Another lad here. I'm like you and like to understand stuff, but sometimes I go on a wikijourney and end up on some mathematical thingy, which defines itself with other mathematical thingies, and I click on them and it's all a bit *whoooshy*.

Here's an example:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poincar%C3%A9_conjecture

A sentence such as

"An equivalent form of the conjecture involves a coarser form of equivalence than homeomorphism called homotopy equivalence: if a 3-manifold is homotopy equivalent to the 3-sphere, then it is necessarily homeomorphic to it."

just stops me in my tracks. I imagine that's the kind of scenario otherlad is talking about.
>> No. 12048 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 4:15 pm
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>>12043

The advantage of Linuxland is that it's an incredibly stable environment over time. If you learned Bash and Vim back in the early 90s, you could jump onto a modern Linux distro and be doing useful work almost immediately. It's not particularly easy to learn, but you rarely have to relearn anything just because the UI changed.
>> No. 12049 Anonymous
16th February 2018
Friday 8:04 pm
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>>12048
This is probably a discussion more suited to /g/ but I think that is perhaps what is stopping widespread adoption of it. It's not the Unix environment; implementations of it that completely destroy the standard workflow (i.e. Android or OS X (though it is admittedly possible to use a terminal in both, but it's not necessary)) have proven wildly successful.
>> No. 12050 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 12:49 am
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>>12048
lol

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 12051 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 6:01 pm
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>>12047
Isn't that more you looking in the wrong place, though? If you don't particularly care about understanding the underlying mathematics, then you need a reference at a different level. I didn't understand that page, but instead of going to read about topology, I went to a different source, specifically, https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poincaré_conjecture

Which is much more my level of understanding.
>> No. 12052 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 8:37 pm
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Dashboard. Everything's apparently a dashboard these days. Even opening a summary page on Excel has to be referred to as looking at a [topic] dashboard. It's driving me up the wall.
>> No. 12061 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 12:47 am
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>>12052
It's because it makes you feel in control. A driver has a dashboard, and a driver is in control.
>> No. 12062 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 12:54 am
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When I'm in charge of this country I'm going to outlaw GUIs and web apps in places of business, though I'll allow normal web use, so that only those with at least a rudimentary idea on how to google will still be useful to society.

Everyone else will be shredded and turned into protein paste.
>> No. 12064 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 8:35 am
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>>12062
Definitely can't see how the UNIX users having autism stereotype could possibly be true.
>> No. 12065 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 2:49 pm
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>>12062
> google

Into the protein paste shredder you go.
>> No. 12066 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 3:38 pm
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>>12065
Which inferior alternative would you prefer?
>> No. 12067 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 5:22 pm
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>>12066

If we're doing away with GUIs then the obvious choice is gopher.
>> No. 12068 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 5:56 pm
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>>12067

Ahem.

https://github.com/jarun/googler
>> No. 12069 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 6:28 pm
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>>12068
What was it we were saying about UNIX users and autism again?
>> No. 12070 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 6:39 pm
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>>12067
Last I heard, Google works in links, though with all the JavaShit they've added in recent years that might not still be the case.
>> No. 12071 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 7:29 pm
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>>12065

One step at a time, lad. They're allowed GUI Google for the first three months. If they fail to assimilate after that, they're getting recycled.

Once everyone's used to it we'll have a brief emacs/vim civil war, and it'll be fine after that. There'll be noone left in your office called Sandra, no old woman who 'doesn't know computers'.

It'll be lovely
>> No. 12073 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 10:45 pm
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>>12071
Is emacs/vim war still a thing? At work we have many devs using vim, I only know one who uses emacs and even then with vim keybindings.

I don't really have a horse in the race, only reason I prefer vim is that it (or vi) seem to be pretty standard to come installed on any Unix server I've come across, so it's convenient to be able to jump on and use what you're familiar with. I actually use sublime with vim keybindings most of the time now so I'll be first against the wall in your GUI massacre
At least I'm not one of those heathens who uses a GUI for git though
>> No. 12074 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 11:27 pm
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>>12073

>At work we have many devs using vim, I only know one who uses emacs and even then with vim keybindings.

Your resident emacs traitor is only tolerated as a token gesture, like the one black guy at every Trump rally.

Text editor multiculturalism is just a euphemism for vim genocide.
>> No. 12075 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 11:47 pm
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Just found out lads, wars over! There’s this hot new thing called windows. And get this! It is intuitive to use, and is compatible with 99.9% of software!
>> No. 12077 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 3:21 am
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>>12073

It does seem like anyone who uses emacs has it in evil mode (vim emulation)

>>12075

I should no better than to respond to this, but poking around menus with a mouse is notoriously unintuitive and doing everything with TWM style keyboard commands is massively more efficient once you've learned it. The issue is the hurdle of learning it, though it's maybe a day or two of working with it in reality.

You will be one of the first to be rendered into paste.
>> No. 12079 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 8:44 am
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>>12077
>It does seem like anyone who uses emacs has it in evil mode (vim emulation)
Who actually wants to use an editor in Status Quo mode, where it takes three chords to do anything? At least, among people who aren't toe-fuzz munching autists.
>> No. 12080 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 8:56 am
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>>12079
I'd love to use an editor that plays a note of a Status Quo ballad with every keystroke and the challenge is to get the tempo right.
>> No. 12081 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 11:46 am
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>>12077

You use your mouse to navigate windows menus? What are you a fucking delta? Maybe if you spent more time learning to use Windows properly you might not be proposing such stupid ideas.

You can open nearly every piece of windows software now by pressing less than 5 keys, and every single menu can be navigated with alt code, keyboard code or for the benifit of your ape brain 'arrow keys' and tab.
>> No. 12082 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 11:58 am
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>>12081

If I wanted to memorise a shitload of arcane key sequences I'd just use Emacs instead.
>> No. 12083 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 12:01 pm
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>>12082

The beauty is you don't have to, because through a magical invention called a 'gui' it tells you what the next range of options are.
>> No. 12084 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 12:19 pm
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>>12081

The problem isn't Windows, it's the software ecosystem. There's no consistency of interfaces, so serious users have to deal with all sorts of bizarre idiosyncrasies. Unix tools are counter-intuitive, but they're very consistent and therefore very easy to compose and automate. Powershell supports piping, but it's an absolute ballache to use in practice. Windows Task Scheduler is like pulling teeth compared to cron.
>> No. 12085 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 12:26 pm
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>>12081

Mate, windows is abhorrent and you know it. I do wish I didn't need to use it, still, though I'll admit Windows 10 is fairly seamless in talking to other Win devices - I imagine if anyone had a Windows phone they'd love it.

As much as I enjoy Linux you're fucked if there's proprietary software you need because I guarantee nobody's bothered to port it. Which leaves us forced to admit that OS X is the best system. I know, I don't like it any more than you do, but it's where we are.
>> No. 12086 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 1:32 pm
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>>12085
>Which leaves us forced to admit that OS X is the best system
Into the crusher with you, lad.
>> No. 12087 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 1:37 pm
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>>12085

You can now install your choice of Linux distribution as a Windows 10 subsystem. It's surprisingly painless.

https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/wsl/about
>> No. 12088 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 2:51 pm
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Communal kitchens.
>> No. 12089 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 3:22 pm
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>>12087

I'd much rather it be the other way around, mind.
>> No. 12090 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 3:23 pm
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>>12086

It is though. It's user friendly and UNIX based. It Just Works and it's still powerful. It's a shame it's tied to expensive hardware. I refuse to buy a macbook now with their fucking daft little mini screen in the keyboard like it's a logitech gaming peripheral from 2010.
>> No. 12091 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 3:27 pm
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>>12090

>It Just Works

Well you've let your Steve Jobs necrophilia show apple fag. Everyone without their head up his arse knows it doesn't.
>> No. 12092 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 3:28 pm
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>>12088

Absolutely fucking correct.
>> No. 12093 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 3:52 pm
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>>12091

I hate Apple but OS X is great. Don't be weird.
>> No. 12094 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 4:33 pm
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I've had to play the fucking game of being in shit like the birthday club where you have to go a fiver in for some cunt you don't speak to lest I appear to be THE anti-social weirdo.
>> No. 12095 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 5:09 pm
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>>12094
It's a pound where I work. They usually give the person money so it's effectively a savings scheme with no interest.

I'm well out of it.
>> No. 12096 Anonymous
1st March 2018
Thursday 1:41 pm
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>>12095

Don't know why I appeared so aggressive writing that original post, mental voice at the time or something. But yeah I'm never interested in this type of activity, interaction half the time where I am feels incredibly stilted and you can't be as blunt as people as, say, in a factory or another manual role.
>> No. 12097 Anonymous
2nd March 2018
Friday 6:53 pm
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I keep having to go in meetings that I don't really need to be in. Normally I wouldn't mind, but my department is understaffed and we've got a ridiculous backlog at the minute.
>> No. 12098 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 1:54 am
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>>12097
Nearly all meetings are pointless.
>> No. 12099 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 12:24 pm
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Just walked into the kitchen-cum-break room and some cad evidently thought it would be clever to set the climate control to 30C.
>> No. 12100 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 12:54 pm
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>>12098
I don't think that is true, but there is a lot of managers who don't understand their purpose so book them when they are inappropriate. That can go for employees too though, sometimes they are necessary just to keep everyone in the loop, and it can feel pointless when you feel you already know things and other things are irrelevant to you but not everyone knows what you do. They aren't necessarily for the benefit of you directly. They can also be good for moral if constructed correctly.

>>12097
I think you should make a declaration of this point to the meeting organisers beforehand in a polite and constructive manner. With etherises on the importance to the deadline itself and concerns about being able to make it, not on how valuable your time is, no one likes a pompous arse after all.
>> No. 12101 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 12:56 pm
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>>12099
> kitchen/cum break room

That doesn't sound sanitary. But very progressive.
>> No. 12111 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 9:14 pm
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I've got a former work colleague who keeps trying to connect with me.

I went out for drinks with them once and that was... fine. It wasn't unpleasant but it isn't how I'd willingly choose to spend my spare time. The conversation was a bit stale as it turns out that we're on quite different wavelengths and all we really had in common was working for the same company.

They keep messaging me, even though it fizzles out fairly quickly. I don't want to be ride to them, but they keep messaging me about going out for drinks for their birthday (just the two of us) when it's clear this isn't going to work as a close friendship. I don't mind being an acquaintance on good terms but that's about it, really. They've got plenty of other friendships so it's not like they're lonely or anything.
>> No. 12112 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 9:18 pm
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>>12111
He probably just fancies a bum.
>> No. 12113 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 9:20 pm
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>>12112
He is a she. She's single and over a decade older than me, but there is definitely no attraction from either side.
>> No. 12114 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 9:25 pm
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>>12113

Well, you're wrong.
>> No. 12118 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 11:04 pm
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>>12113

She definitely wants it.
>> No. 12122 Anonymous
10th March 2018
Saturday 10:16 am
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>>12098

There's never been a meeting where I haven't failed to fall asleep in, the whole pretense just becomes too much during them.
>> No. 12178 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 8:00 pm
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I've been completely sold down the river. I was allocated an urgent piece of work a fortnight ago but I didn't have the capacity to do it so I asked a colleague in another team if they could pick it up for me, to which they agreed. Boss comes back in from holiday today and chases me up about it; we go and ask the colleague together whether it's been completed but he just pulls a blank face and denies all knowledge of being asked to do it. Fuck sake.
>> No. 12182 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 1:12 am
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>>12178

I know it doesn't help you now, but hopefully in future you'll know to send EVERYTHING by email. Even if the blokes sat next to you, just send him a "further to our conversation..." follow up.
>> No. 12184 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 3:07 am
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>>12182
My first thought upon reading his post was "wouldn't there be an email chain?" Why are people so trusting?
>> No. 12185 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 6:51 am
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>>12182>>12184
I usually do cover my arse but I didn't think I'd need to do it for this, especially as this involved putting a large paper file on his desk (which he has then hid back in a workflow pile).
>> No. 12186 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 8:32 am
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>>12185
Isn't the file being on his desk proof to your boss that you did ask this guy to do it?
>> No. 12188 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 3:40 am
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It's 2am. Do you know where your children are? I get called out because our system is throwing out alerts. I determine quickly that it's someone else's problem, and call them out. They conirm it's their problem and take over. At this point, I've got nothing more to do and want to get straight back to bed. Unfortunately, this thing isn't going to stop alerting until the other team have fixed things on their end.

So now it's 3:30 and I've still got nothing to do but I still can't get back to sleep because I'm still getting callout messages.
>> No. 12189 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 9:56 am
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Are there any drugs that will allow me to complete basic typey-click office work but otherwise completely numb me to the whole experience? Even better if it can make 7.5 hours feel like 30 minutes.

If not, some pharma lad will surely become rich.
>> No. 12190 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 11:42 am
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>>12189

Try modafinil.
>> No. 12191 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 12:02 pm
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>>12190

I'd have thought that would have the opposite effect? More alertness?
>> No. 12192 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 2:28 pm
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>>12191

It makes you alert but more prominently it

>can make 7.5 hours feel like 30 minutes.
>> No. 12193 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 6:31 pm
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>>12191

It makes you incredibly focused. You just plough through whatever it is you're supposed to be doing and the time flies by. You're too focused on the task in front of you to daydream about where you'd rather be and what you'd rather be doing.

It's a terrible long-term solution to a shit job, but it'll get you through the day while you're sorting out something better.
>> No. 12195 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 8:50 pm
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Does anyone else feel like a bit of a fraud at work?

I've ended up in a managerial position almost by default and I'm entirely winging it. I have no real idea what I do all day; it seems to be going from one bullshit meeting to the next, being dragged into trivial tasks or having to deal with trivial queries. Yesterday was the first day in over a fortnight where I had an uninterrupted day to get on with what I'd actually class as proper work.

It's more money and the days seem to be going quicker, but it's a drudge and I don't feel like I'm really accomplishing anything.
>> No. 12196 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 8:51 pm
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>>12190
can confirm, been using this for 2 weeks now in work. i find that only 100mg is needed in the morning. it's subtle, but you notice that you get engrossed in a task that would appear mundane and time flies. enjoyable cognitively demanding tasks like my development work becomes an almost perfect 'flow' state for me.

i've also noticed that it has the following effectss:

1) i feel sharper in my memory - i.e. retrieving difficult words/syntax/concepts in conversation / programming
2) i feel i've become more witty(!) this may be associated with better memory retrieval as seen in 1) or may be one-sided BS
3) i am more sociable when the chance arises to chat - even small talk

Now the negs: sex drive can be reduced, it can be difficult to sleep at the usual time, and 'switch off' from work, and it makes me occassionally tearful for no reason (an odd side-effect). It also once (one day on a higher dose) caused me to feel like i could not take a full breath.
>> No. 12197 Anonymous
20th April 2018
Friday 9:01 pm
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>>12195

>Does anyone else feel like a bit of a fraud at work?

I think everyone feels this way sometimes, but particularly those who have been promoted from a real job up into management. I can relate for sure. The most important thing you need to realise is that your physical work is no longer important. Your job is to make other people do their jobs. It's entirely intangible and if you happen to have a good effective team under you, you are successful by default and will take most of the credit for their hard work mostly by accident.

Your 'proper work' as you put it has been inverted - you exist to go to bullshit meetings and answer inane questions to enable your team to do their real work. You no longer have a proper job, you could quite easily be replaced with a search engine and a loud alarm that is triggered whenever productivity is down, if we were a less polite society. You need to embrace that, and probably read "who moved my cheese?"

Good luck.
>> No. 12234 Anonymous
27th April 2018
Friday 7:54 am
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>>12197
Thanks, lad.

By my reckoning I've got four meetings today, so it's going to be a write-off. Same thing happened on Wednesday and I probably had another half dozen or so meetings on the other days this week. It's relentless.
>> No. 12235 Anonymous
27th April 2018
Friday 10:57 am
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>You are cordially invited to the Initech Christmas party, at $chain_club
Wait, did I slip into a coma for a few months and nobody told me? I could have sworn it was only April when I went to bed last night.
>> No. 12236 Anonymous
27th April 2018
Friday 4:40 pm
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>>12235
Booking decent Christmas venues is getting increasingly competitive as companies are doing it earlier and earlier to secure the place they want, particularly if it's a very large number of people; it's not uncommon for some venues to be fully booked for Christmas by June/July.

It's only really an issue if you're meant to provide your menu choice ridiculously early; you don't want future you to end up annoyed at current you because current you fancies the turkey but future you is in the mood for steak.
>> No. 12237 Anonymous
27th April 2018
Friday 7:00 pm
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>>12236

Yeah, the restaurant I'm currently doing some work for has already taken a couple of Christmas bookings.

Typically restaurants start marketing for it in August, and I've never seen a place that wasn't fully booked by October. This does seem early as it goes but I guess once you find a decent place you probably rebook the venue while you're at the previous years' party.
>> No. 12238 Anonymous
27th April 2018
Friday 11:14 pm
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>>12196

Can you get it without a prescription?
>> No. 12239 Anonymous
27th April 2018
Friday 11:32 pm
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>>12238
It's not a controlled substance, so yes you can. Just not from a brick and mortar pharmacy. You need to get it from an online pharmacy. It'll be listed under nootropics.
>> No. 12240 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 12:35 am
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>>12238
No. It is strictly prescription-only.
https://bnf.nice.org.uk/medicinal-forms/modafinil.html
>> No. 12241 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 1:01 am
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>>12240

Tell that to the online pharmacies.
>> No. 12242 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 1:02 am
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>>12240
No it isn't.
https://www.unitedpharmacies-uk.md/Modalert-Modafinil-200mg-10-Tablets-p-974.html
>> No. 12243 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 1:21 am
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>>12242
That's like saying you can get an iPhone for free by walking into the stock room of an Apple Store.
>> No. 12244 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 1:23 am
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>>12242
Also:
>Always use Modalert (Modafinil) as you have been prescribed by your doctor. Never self-medicate or change your dosage without first consulting your doctor.
>> No. 12245 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 1:45 am
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>>12243

No it isn't, it's like saying you can buy non-controlled drugs without a prescription from overseas.
>> No. 12246 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 2:42 am
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Scrolled past this thread so many times over the last few years. But workplace annoyances as a musician:

*club owners and in-house PA guys running power trips in their toilet venue dives, demeaning female band members as a specialty but can reach to treating the talent less well than the bar staff
* bouncers on power trips in bigger places blocking backstage areas and demanding view of your crappy little AAA sticker every fucking time you pass the neanderthal cunts and on better wages than the bands, again
*terrible support bands full of backslapping hominy
*more famous bands you are supporting who don't deign to talk to you and have a dressing room approximately one mile away guarded like it's Fort Knox
*punters and average working dudes who think because you are in a band that is known you are making a decent living out of it - aside from Elton John or Axl Rose none of us are mate
*promoters who pull stunts like also demanding a live-in-front-of-audience interview with some retarded alcoholic journalist at their festivals with no extra fee mentioned
*cheap airlines losing your musical instruments abroad
*UK motorway service stations selling you a five quid shit sandwich at four AM when you have run out of booze and are still 100 miles from home




*
>> No. 12247 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 7:59 am
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>>12246
>*promoters who pull stunts like also demanding a live-in-front-of-audience interview with some retarded alcoholic journalist at their festivals with no extra fee mentioned

You could always try the Brent Hinds approach to interviews:


>> No. 12248 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 5:25 pm
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I realise this will come across as sexist, but certain women in a work capacity.

The majority of people are tolerable, to some extent, but there's a small minority of women who are completely toxic and unpleasant to be around in a work environment. Some men are undoubtedly twats, but they're not on this scale; they don't blow hot and cold, fly off the handle over trivial matters, start screaming in the middle of an office and throw strops on anything approaching this level.
>> No. 12249 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 6:37 pm
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>>12248
>they don't blow hot and cold, fly off the handle over trivial matters, start screaming in the middle of an office and throw strops on anything approaching this level
I don't know m7, I'd give them a run for their money.
>> No. 12250 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 7:12 pm
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>>12248

I know what you mean, sort of. For me it's always been a certain type of female manager - they seem like they're always trying very hard to prove themselves, which makes them far less pleasant and ultimately less effective than the average male.

Of course, I suspect this might have a lot to do with the way women in these sorts of jobs are seen. Even quite modern blokes I've noticed seem to have a problem with their boss being a bird, so it's a sort of vicious cycle, and I'm quite sure they don't get treated as seriously sometimes. I work in an industry that is basically forced to respect anyone who is actually skilful, so I see less of it than most, I suspect.
>> No. 12251 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 7:14 pm
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>>12250

I should also say that I've worked with, or under, plenty of dickhead males too, but they do seem to be less stubborn - they are more willing to back down if your argument is sound - though they probably feel they won't lose major points for doing so, where women seem to think they will.
>> No. 12252 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 7:18 pm
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>>12250
I prefer female bosses to be honest. Men in power intimidate me, whereas women seem more approachable.
>> No. 12253 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 7:25 pm
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>>12250
In my experience, females in positions of seniority do not take it well at all if it's pointed out that they're wrong or they've made a mistake. Far more than men, who are more likely to spin it around and try to take credit for fixing things as if it was their idea all along.

I suppose it could be to do with the fact they feel their authority is being challenged as they feel they aren't taken as seriously as a man would, but a lot of it seems that they're wrapped up in their own self-importance.

The last female boss I had was absolutely fine with me but many others, particularly the admin women, found her absolutely unbearable. She was utterly obsessed with status symbols - her house, her car, her handbag, her clothes, etc. - and her job was simply an extension of this.
>> No. 12254 Anonymous
7th May 2018
Monday 2:12 am
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>>12252

Cucked

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 12255 Anonymous
7th May 2018
Monday 10:36 am
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>>12253

Engaging my armchair psychology mode here, but I think that's pretty inevitable based on how men assert their authority as a matter of course. Men expect threats to their leadership and part of being a manly male leaderman is beating your chest to show the other monkeys you've got the biggest balls. For women, getting into a leadership position is far more about making the right moves with the right people, impressing the ones it counts to do so. So when they get there, they are less well equipped to deal with being challenged.
>> No. 12256 Anonymous
7th May 2018
Monday 10:54 am
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>>12255
None of those things predict success in leadership roles in and of themselves. Assertiveness and a willingness to take on board the opinions and ideas of your subordinates is what makes a good manager. Women aren't as conscientious as men, by and large, and take a suggestion from a subordinate as a challenge to their authority, which causes friction. Especially so when that subordinate is female.

Women who succeed and men who succeed exhibit the same traits, there is a pretty accurate model for predicting success in leadership roles, and a conscientious women would take on board the ideas of her female colleagues. However, she might stop them from progressing because they don't exhibit the same traits as she does and promote a man instead who does.
>> No. 12257 Anonymous
10th May 2018
Thursday 5:18 pm
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I'M GOING TO SCAN THESE DOCUMENTS ON IN THE LOWEST RESOLUTION POSSIBLE AND THEN SHRED THE ORIGINALS.
>> No. 12258 Anonymous
10th May 2018
Thursday 6:37 pm
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After a couple of slack months where I bid on a lot of work but didn't get to start any of it, it's all come in in the last week, and it's all urgent. It's all going to be late, the question is, in what order do I disappoint my customers? Aaargh.
Also, fucking hayfever.
>> No. 12259 Anonymous
10th May 2018
Thursday 7:55 pm
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This is a very specific one, but chefs who try their hardest to fit the 'angry bastard' stereotype. They saw Ramsey do it in the 90s, in a Michelin star establishment owned by himself, so they reckon that now Zizzi are paying them 9.50 an hour they can do the same there. It's an embarrassment to the profession, and those that act like this aren't very good at the job anyway. Imagine your peers acting like petulant children and claiming it's part of the job, or even worse the 'culture'. You heat up soup for pensioners in Baisingstoke, for fuck's sake, what sort of workplace culture is that?
>> No. 12260 Anonymous
10th May 2018
Thursday 9:05 pm
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>>12259
I went to Zizzi in Basingstoke once. I had some kind of hangman's gallows with some sort of shish kebab hanging from it. Good times.
>> No. 12261 Anonymous
11th May 2018
Friday 3:26 am
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>>12260

I had one of those in a Portuguese restaurant in Cardiff about a decade ago, good to know that shit food that goes around comes around.

Then I went to a strip club to get some welsh tits rubbed on my face.
>> No. 12262 Anonymous
11th May 2018
Friday 8:50 am
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>>12260>>12261

Them hanging kebabs seem so tacky to me. I'm sure it's traditional in kebabistan, but anything that makes people stare or go 'oooh look' when they bring your food out is a fucking embarrassment.
>> No. 12263 Anonymous
11th May 2018
Friday 2:30 pm
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IMG_6795.jpg
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>>12262

It's a necessary evil these days. The restaurant business is ruthlessly competitive and city-centre restaurants need to stand out. Gimmicks don't necessarily improve the dining experience, but people will talk about them and share them on social media. A lot of very good restaurants have gone bust because they're unremarkable - you might offer great food, service and ambience, but your customers probably won't tell their friends unless you're doing something out of the ordinary.

It's a terrible Nash equilibrium, but annoying your customers makes sound financial sense.
>> No. 12264 Anonymous
11th May 2018
Friday 2:33 pm
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>>12263

>but annoying your customers makes sound financial sense.

We are a damned species.
>> No. 12265 Anonymous
11th May 2018
Friday 3:06 pm
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>>12263

I disagree. There's really only a couple of examples of successful chains that to this shit, and it's the one kebab thing at Zizzi (though it's fairly traditional even though it's tacky), the stupid red hot plates that spit oil at you at Sizzler pubs, and all the plant pots and shit at Botanist. There's definitely some instagram appeal, but you don't need that sort of thing to get people to take pictures of their food - they do it if the food looks nice, too, and that's a tenfold better advert than chips in a hat.
>> No. 12266 Anonymous
11th May 2018
Friday 4:03 pm
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>>12265

The mid-market chains are really struggling at the moment. Chain restaurants have the scale and marketing budget to establish a clear brand identity, which is much harder for an independent restaurant. Low-end chains can do well from choosing low-rent locations, using a lot of pre-prep and offering an unpretentious menu at a value price. Nobody is particularly excited about eating at a Hungry Horse, but it's cheap, reliable and there's plenty of parking.

Restaurants in small towns and suburbs don't need to play the Instagram game - if you're only competing against three or four other restaurants in the area, you can do well just by getting the basics right.

The struggle is greatest for the kind of restaurant that's 27th on Tripadvisor in Leeds city centre. They're not exceptional enough to stand out on quality alone, they don't have a captive market because of their location and their rents and rates are high. To use a bit of nauseating marketing argot, they need "the wow factor" to stay in business.
>> No. 12267 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 4:50 pm
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GUIDELINES, NOT TRAMLINES
GUIDELINES, NOT TRAMLINES
GUIDELINES, NOT TRAMLINES
GUIDELINES, NOT TRAMLINES
GUIDELINES, NOT TRAMLINES
GUIDELINES, NOT TRAMLINES
GUIDELINES, NOT TRAMLINES
GUIDELINES, NOT TRAMLINES
>> No. 12268 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 7:12 pm
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>>12266

Well that's a lovely Indian place that seems to be doing very well for itself.

TRY AGAIN.
>> No. 12269 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 7:37 pm
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>>12266

You're vastly underestimating the power of a mediocre, predictable restaurant. People want consistency and 'safe' choices. It's bizarre that this applies to the mid market but it definitely does. People basically either want to pay a tenner for a burger, twenty quid for a plate of pasta they've eaten a million times, or fifty quid for a plate of something they've never heard of, and those are the three tiers of restaurants in your average city (I won't count London as that's a different beast).

Most city venues exist on the back of client lunches and working travellers venturing outside their hotel with their meal allowance. In both cases, a medium-priced chain is what springs to their mind. They know what it is even if they've never been, and it's just costly enough to be reassuring, while still being cheap enough that you can expense it. And around the 20-30 mark on TripAdvisor is where these places lie.

Being #2 on local TripAdvisor is a fucking nightmare, mind. Especially if #1 is the Box Tree. I speak from experience. You really attract the wrong crowd with that sort of positioning. People either expecting michelin star or people angry that the Box Tree didn't let them in. Either way you've already failed their expectations just by existing. Fuck me what a stressful job that was.
>> No. 12270 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 9:35 pm
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>>12269

What I've found with most of the top restaurants on TripAdvisor is that by the time they've got there they've started attracting so many clients and got so busy that they're not as good as they were when they first achieved that rating.

As the old saying goes "If everyone's talking about it you're at least three months late".

Maybe there are some truly fine dining Michelin starred restaurants out there that maintain standards and consistency throughout continued popular growth but I'm either too poor or too far away to find them. The best sushi restaurant in my city is absolutely fantastic but don't bother going on a Friday, Saturday or special occasion - you'll have an hour's wait for a table (even if you pre-booked) and once you do get seated the service simply can't keep up.
>> No. 12271 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 9:40 pm
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>>12270
That makes me suspicious of the top-10 restaurant I visited earlier this year which was almost empty when I sat down at 8. It was midweek, but surely the distinction shouldn't be that stark.
>> No. 12272 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 9:53 pm
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>>12271
The top two restaurants according to TripAdvisor in my town alright, Ossettlads? are almost always dead.
>> No. 12273 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 9:58 pm
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>>12272
Top is subjective. Where are they? The Greek and Thai places that used to be pubs?
>> No. 12274 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 9:58 pm
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>>12273
Relative, even. The top restaurant in Ossett isn't gonna compare to the top in London.
>> No. 12276 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 10:01 pm
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>>12273
Yep. I've been to Malagor a few times and, even on a Saturday night, I don't think I've ever seen it much more than a third full.
>> No. 12277 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 10:06 pm
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>>12272
That may have more to do with your town in general being almost always dead.
>> No. 12278 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 10:07 pm
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Well it should be self evident why. Who's going to eat at a money laundering front in Osset when a fiver's taxi ride will get you to the Brazillian carvery and the majesty of the Westgate run?
>> No. 12279 Anonymous
17th May 2018
Thursday 10:14 pm
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>>12278
>the majesty of the Westgate run

Have you tried The Jolly Tap in Wakey? It's only £1 a pint on Thursdays.
>> No. 12280 Anonymous
18th May 2018
Friday 2:17 pm
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>>12278
Brazillian Carvery? Where's that?
>> No. 12281 Anonymous
18th May 2018
Friday 3:50 pm
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>>12278
> Brazillian carvery

This is wonderful and I'm going to steal it use it to mock those who rave about the knockoff rodizio joints springing up around the UK (although I did go to a fairly decent one in Liverpool once).
>> No. 12315 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 6:02 pm
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Got a job offer. Asked for more. Response was the same figure "with a review after 6 months". Admittedly they haven't yet got my date of birth, so maybe they aren't aware I wasn't born yesterday.
>> No. 12317 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 6:24 pm
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>>12280

There's one called Brazuca and one called Favela. The former is near the station, the latter is on a side street off Westgate itself.

>>12281

It says a lot that even shitholes like Wakefield now have a seemingly thriving industry in these daft free range organic real-ale avocado hummus type places. But then again, it could be worse, I was in some dive in Leeds this weekend that wanted £12 for fish and chips.
>> No. 12318 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 6:52 pm
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>>12317

>that wanted £12 for fish and chips

That sounds about par for the course. I've charged more than that in Leeds and people were fine with it. (until the restaurant closed, but that was mostly unrelated I swear)

I used to get away with nearly 20 quid for it in Ilkley. People are mental, I suppose.
>> No. 12319 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 9:16 pm
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>>12315

Please explain for those of us who were.
>> No. 12320 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 9:49 pm
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>>12319

He tried to negotiate a better salary for a job he was offered, but instead of attempting to negotiate, the company offered him the same money and said "we might give you more in half a year if you're good lol"

That's not a particularly good contract negotiation, on the part of the company.
>> No. 12321 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 9:59 pm
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>>12320
> That's not a particularly good contract negotiation, on the part of the company.

To spell it out even further, at any job where you're at a level where contract negotiation is even a thing, you will probably get a salary review every six months anyway. Basically they told him to like it or lump it.
>> No. 12322 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 10:01 pm
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>>12317>>12318
I was annoyed at having to pay £1.50 for a large battered sausage at Horbury Fisheries today.

>>12319
There's a reasonable chance the review either doesn't take place or at that meeting they say it'll be addressed during the next cycle of pay reviews. You're putting yourself in the position to be fobbed off and you'll lose some of your leverage. Always negotiate on pay.

If you don't stand your ground your employer will know they can take you for a ride. There was a study last year which said that doing an unpaid internship damages your long-term pay prospects; you're effectively declaring to all future employers you're a sap who will gladly have a load of shit shovelled on you for meagre pay.
>> No. 12323 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 10:15 pm
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>>12317
> Brazuca and one called Favela

I went to a bar once in Shoreditch just after it'd stopped being the cool place to go and wound up in a bar called "Favela Chic", which I thought was bad enough. Someone should go the whole hog and open one simply called "Macaco de Merda" or something .

Yes I know I'm being a pretentious cunt and that using random fancy-pants foreign names for your foreign restaurant is the norm, but the Brazilians do seem to be some of the worst at it. At least (most) of the French and Italian names sound poncy but actually mean something at least mildly sophisticated. Rage and sage for steam from my frothing ears.
>> No. 12324 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 10:19 pm
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>>12323

I thought favela meant ghetto.
>> No. 12325 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 10:22 pm
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>>12324
It's more like a slum.
>> No. 12326 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 10:24 pm
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>>12319
It's an empty promise. Once you've signed on, unless there's a contractual provision (as happens in the public sector) pay rises are not guaranteed, and you have no way to force a rise. In general, in-work rises are proportional, meaning that when you ask for a modest £2-3k bump, your employer will cast it as an exuberant 10% increase, and your only recourse is to leave.
>> No. 12328 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 10:39 pm
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>>12318

>That sounds about par for the course.

No, Cheflad, it is not par for the course. No sensible person should be paying more for fish and chips than the four or five quid it is at an honest chippy. I will allow a couple of extra quid if it's the seaside for cynicism's sake.

You may have gotten away with it but that just shows how divorced from reality restaurants and their patrons have become. I don't blame you for taking advantage, but this is just another symptom of Broken Britain.
>> No. 12329 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 10:44 pm
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>>12322
I've taken a similar stance on technical assessments. If there's no time limit, and the expectation is more than an hour or so, then in my book that's free labour that I'm not inclined to provide. A strict time limit of 2-3 hours is fine, but without a limit it's an estimate that's likely to be hopelessly optimistic.

To an extent, I take the same view on extracurriculars. The stuff I do outside work is for me, because I want to do it. The people who say "go build a hobby project" or "contribute to open source" to people who don't have a direct need to are basically saying "go work for free".
>> No. 12330 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 11:03 pm
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>>12322
Barracuda is the best chippy in Ossett, bar none. Slightly more expensive than the competition, but not prohibitively so - about £5.50 for fish and chips.
>> No. 12331 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 11:31 pm
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>>12330
I think Barracuda is the only chippy in Ossett I haven't tried. I usually end up at Casey's, although there's been a few times the chips have been overdone, but I haven't been since it changed hands; I've heard the new owners have bumped the prices up. Failing that I tend to go to Park Square, even though the goblin woman who runs it freaks me out a little bit.
>> No. 12332 Anonymous
5th June 2018
Tuesday 11:42 pm
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>>12328

> No sensible person should be paying more for fish and chips than the four or five quid it is at an honest chippy.

Please sir, where can I find the bus that goes to the early nineties?
>> No. 12333 Anonymous
6th June 2018
Wednesday 12:20 am
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>>12331
Park Square is good, but it's only open for about six nanoseconds per week.
>> No. 12334 Anonymous
6th June 2018
Wednesday 3:17 am
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>>12328

>No, Cheflad, it is not par for the course. No sensible person should be paying more for fish and chips than the four or five quid it is at an honest chippy

It is, and they do.

I personally think it's utter madness to pay that much for fish and chips, but as I'm sure you know chippies are very hit and miss - it can take a lot of searching to find a consistently good one. My local is fantastic (they were sued, or are being sued by Victoria Beckham) but there's plenty that will serve you mush. Maybe for 6 quid a go that's understandable, but it's not always as simple as going to the closest chippy, because plenty are shite. So I can sort of see the logic in getting a 'guaranteed' good quality fish and chips for twelve quid - though I'm not going to pretend a restaurant can't fuck up the food too.

Even at an honest local chippy though, I see the price as more like 7 or 8.
>> No. 12335 Anonymous
6th June 2018
Wednesday 5:00 pm
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>>12333
>it's only open for about six nanoseconds per week.

That'd be the diner next to Chicken Hut.
>> No. 12336 Anonymous
6th June 2018
Wednesday 9:47 pm
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>>12334
My local chippy does cod and chips for £3.40. It's consistently decent and generally cheap and cheerful. For a treat I will go to the decent one that's a bit further away and that's only if I fancy Monkfish goujons, but I do feel a bit wary spending 8 quid for 4 ponce fish fingers and chips.
>> No. 12337 Anonymous
6th June 2018
Wednesday 10:16 pm
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>>12336
>My local chippy does cod and chips for £3.40.
No they don't. If it's that cheap it almost certainly isn't cod.
>> No. 12338 Anonymous
6th June 2018
Wednesday 10:22 pm
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>>12336

>My local chippy does cod and chips for £3.40.

There's no way you're getting cod and chips for £3.40. Pangasius, coley or pollock, but not cod.
>> No. 12339 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 12:13 am
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>>12336
>if I fancy Monkfish goujons

Sent from my iPhone in Shoreditch while I skim the grauniad in my £2000 hobo chic jacket with my stupid fucking vintage pin-up tattoos and ridiculous beard before hopping on my reclaimed Edwardian bicycle to the haberdashers because the local infestation of gentrifying please-don't-call-us-middle-class wankers decided they'd happily pay through their father's nose for a piece of fake retro little England to browse in after the morning's natto and macha detox breakfast
>> No. 12340 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 3:13 am
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>>12339

Monkfish isn't particularly fancy, not remarkably expensive, and is eaten by just about everyone in coastal towns. I suggest you have a word with yourself before you italic yourself to death in a one-man class war against an imagined enemy.
>> No. 12341 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 3:41 am
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>>12339

Hahaha, you TWAT.
>> No. 12342 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 11:59 am
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>>12335
The Chicken Hut is a constant in my life. It feels like it's always been there.
>> No. 12343 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 1:00 pm
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>>12339

It is quicker and easier to just say Richard Curtiss land.
>> No. 12344 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 1:38 pm
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>>12332
My local chippy has won a slew of awards over the years and it's still only 4.50 for a fish supper. London isn't indicative of the rest of the country, especially not the coast. Fish is obviously going to be cheaper there unless it's a tourist trap.
>> No. 12345 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 4:29 pm
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>>12344

I live in the north, on the coast, and the suppers are still 6 quid or above. There's a chippy built into one of the fishing docks and they still charge that for it.

I'm not saying 4.50 isn't possible, but it's the lower end of the average for sure.
>> No. 12346 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 5:33 pm
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>>12345
It's probably £6 for you because they're being honest about what they're selling. Your £6 cod and chips likely has real cod in it.
>> No. 12347 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 6:52 pm
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>>12345
>>12346

It's haddock at my local, not cod. Should have really mentioned that. I'm not a massive fan of cod, to be honest. If I have a choice I'll get sole, but that tends to be a day out to the beach job. I'm only 10 miles from the beach, but nowhere stocks it in between.
>> No. 12348 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 7:19 pm
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I've been presented with a contract that has the Working Time opt-out written in directly with no separate signature, and also states that overtime is unpaid. Because I totally want to give my employer unlimited free labour.
>> No. 12349 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 7:25 pm
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>>12348

>Working Time opt-out written in directly with no separate signature

That's the contractual equivalent of saying 'benderssaywhat' really fast.

I suggest you sign it, revoke your opt-out, then sue the fuck out of them when they inevitably try to fire you for it.
>> No. 12350 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 7:25 pm
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>>12344
Is that for a small cod, or one that overhangs both sides of a dinner plate?
>> No. 12351 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 7:30 pm
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>>12340
I do live in a seaside town in the southwest and as I already mentioned Monkfish goujons are just poncey fishfingers. I can see the Fishmarket from my house and it is cod, but they're not big fillets for £3.40 and most likely not the freshest. Haddock is a bit pricier and Pollock is about 3 quid.
>> No. 12352 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 7:36 pm
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>>12347
Haddock is more expensive than cod. There's no fucking way you're getting haddock and chips for £4.50 unless it's a half portion or a small fish. I'd suggest dropping your local trading standards office a tip, because they're either mis-selling or a money laundering exercise.
>> No. 12353 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 8:03 pm
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fish.png
123531235312353
>>12352

They tend to be around the same price these days, though your point still stands, of course.

Unless this is a not-for-profit charity chip shop, you're not getting a reasonably sized cod or haddock a fiver.

There's another discussion to be had about how pollock is absolutely just as good as either of those two, as well. I don't know why it has such a reputation as a 'cheap' alternative. I've even heard food snobs say it has no flavour, when it actually has a stronger taste than cod, and they're so similar (and related) that I would bet good money the majority of a group could not distinguish the two.

I wish I had been around in the days when turbot and chips was a viable fish supper and was plentiful enough to actually be cheaper than cod, as well.
>> No. 12354 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 9:31 pm
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Listen, no cunt actually cares if it's cod, haddock, or pollock. Fish and chips is a working class meal and I find it offensive to the very core of my being that some wanker out there is making over a tenner for cooking the bloody chips twice.

There's a place round here that does it for under a fiver a portion and delivers, a practice you don't usually associate with fish and chips but is, in fact, revolutionary. And it's not half bad at all.
>> No. 12355 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 10:22 pm
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>>12354

>a practice you don't usually associate with fish and chips but is, in fact, revolutionary

I think every chippy round here delivers. You're mental lad.
>> No. 12356 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 10:42 pm
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>>12355
Question is, why would you want it delivered? The batter will inevitably get soggy in transit. Most disappointing thing I've ever had from a delivery was a starter of tempura prawns. This was before I knew how to cook, mind.

And yes I'm aware that some fish places send out their wares in aerated cardboard boxes - it helps, but not enough.
>> No. 12357 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 10:55 pm
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>>12356

I tend to agree. Typically if the place is within ten minutes of walking distance it'll be delivered crispy to you. But at that point, just walk there.

I can only truly enjoy fish and chips either sat on a bench or parked in a car, on the coast, as that's how I used to get them with my grandad as a lad.
>> No. 12392 Anonymous
25th June 2018
Monday 6:22 pm
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There's absolutely no shade in the car park at work, which meant that my car was like a sauna. I could barely touch the steering wheel or gearstick because they were that hot and when I put my driving glasses on it felt like the frame was fusing to my head.
>> No. 12393 Anonymous
25th June 2018
Monday 6:36 pm
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Universal-Reflective-Car-Aluminum-foil-Windscreen-.jpg
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>>12392

A windscreen cover may help.
>> No. 12395 Anonymous
25th June 2018
Monday 9:33 pm
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>>12393
If I was him I would save money by asking the MD if he could stand in front of my car with an umbrella to keep it cool, or failing that ask if could at the very least knock the office down and rebuild it facing the other way.
>> No. 12396 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 5:05 pm
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WARM DAY.
SMALL MEETING ROOM.
LOTS OF PEOPLE.
LONG MEETING.
POOR VENTILATION.
SOMEONE WITH SMELLY FEET.
>> No. 12397 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 6:19 pm
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I've been rocking up to work wearing chino shorts and linen shirts for the past month. The past couple of weeks I've even been wearing a pair of all black Vans,because wearing a pair of brogues with shorts doesn't look good. No one has said anything because there aren't any obvious logo and the one bright red "badge" on the heel got painted over with black acrylic paint.
>> No. 12425 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 9:27 pm
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>>12392
I have a towel in the car I put on the steering wheel. I also leave the windows slightly ajar.
>> No. 12426 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 7:52 pm
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We had a work experience lad in today and he couldn't even muster the fucking grace to at least pretend to be interested, and wouldn't pay attention to any of the instructions I gave him and assumed that as he'd been shown a similar process before, he knew all the software for this separate process, then fucked it up so I had to take the mouse off him and fix it every time. Fucking public school kid and all. Stupid haircut and those faded red chino shorts. Explains the massive sense of entitlement and complete faith in his own non-existent judgement.

I'm almost glad to be going to a funeral tomorrow instead of having to spend time with him again. I hope he gets bullied back at Prufrock Prep or wherever the upper classes board their turds, the little git.
>> No. 12427 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 7:58 pm
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>>12425
>I have a towel in the car I put on the steering wheel. I also leave the windows slightly ajar.
None of us really want to know what you get up to in car parks at night.
>> No. 12428 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 8:16 pm
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>>12426
>Explains the massive sense of entitlement and complete faith in his own non-existent judgement

Whilst many public school kids are twats, this unwarranted faith in their ability isn't just limited to them. If we ever hire a graduate fresh out of university then they generally don't take notes when they're being trained because they're confident they can remember it all, which inevitably leads to them monumentally fucking up about the second or third time they attempt to do it; the company I work for prefers to employ graduates who've spent a year or so in a dead-end job because they're far more grounded and switched on.
>> No. 12429 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 8:21 pm
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>>12428
I've just escaped after 4 years in a shit graduate job and I still don't take notes.
>> No. 12432 Anonymous
19th July 2018
Thursday 11:43 am
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>>12426

Not gonna lie mate but at 16 or however old I was when I did work experience I didn't give a fuck either, sure you didn't too.
>> No. 12478 Anonymous
5th August 2018
Sunday 10:23 pm
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The company I work at has been tightening its policies/rules for about 1.5 years already. It's a shame really, I liked how liberal it was there on many grounds. Hell, it was one of the major reasons why I got in.

Ironically enough, now the head of the sales department is complaining about high turnover. What a bloody surprise given the recent introduction of monetary fine system with a long list of possible infractions at their department.

There are rumours that something similar is going to happen to our dept after the raise.

Whinge thoroughly checked.
>> No. 12479 Anonymous
5th August 2018
Sunday 10:39 pm
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>>12478

>recent introduction of monetary fine system

So if you fuck up they dock your pay? That doesn't sound legal.
>> No. 12480 Anonymous
5th August 2018
Sunday 10:46 pm
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>>12479
I imagine it's one of those things where they say you've agreed to the deductions in your contract, and if you try to revoke your consent you will be found to be surplus to requirements. Entirely coincidentally, of course.
>> No. 12481 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 9:33 am
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>>12478

>monetary fine system

And you are still working there why, exactly?

You're one of those rats paddling about blissfully unaware that the ship is half sunk already.
>> No. 12482 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 1:44 pm
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>>12478
Let me guess, you're not unionised.
>> No. 12483 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 2:34 pm
12483 spacer
>>12481

While you're not wrong, you are sort of forgetting that not everyone would find it so easy to find a better or equivalent job without similar clauses.

Might as well tell someone on minimum wage to put down their spatula and find some other burger shack to treat them right.
>> No. 12484 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 4:25 pm
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>>12481
Inertia. Even with all the bad things recently it's probably still not crap enough to bug out. I've seen worse.
Add that I still sort of hope to jump depts, there's one that has a rather appealing working schedule and better pay. No guarantees they aren't going to have a bite of that shite pie too as well. So far they have had it rather mild, maybe because their personnel is a tad harder to dump and replace quickly.
>>12482
No. Unsure if anyone here ever heard about unions. What's left from the fall of the Soviets is impotent and poses neither a threat nor provides any use.
>> No. 12485 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 4:31 pm
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I've had a fortnight off and I've come back to find my calculator gone. I know it's petty to get annoyed about stationery, but the company only orders much cheaper and flimsier models now.
>> No. 12486 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 6:41 pm
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>>12485

You could always set the building on fire.
>> No. 12487 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 7:22 pm
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We've come in to work to the great Cheese and Ham scandal.

The person who is now bereft of these key foodstuffs is annoyed but not actually too bothered about it, but their brown-nosing subordinate is making it her personal mission to bring the culprits to justice by placing a rather desperate sign on the fridge demanding the items back or the £6.90 they were worth.

The kicker? The items were more than likely thrown out by the cleaner because they were just sitting in the fridge before the weekend. What's more the caped crusader who's inserted themselves in to this whodunnit will probably expect the money from them even though it was the cleaner's job to empty the fridge.
>> No. 12488 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 7:38 pm
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>>12487
>the £6.90 they were worth.

For cheese and ham? Get out of here. Were they gilded with gold leaf?
>> No. 12489 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 7:49 pm
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>>12487
>likely thrown out by the cleaner
That is so obviously what has happened.

>expect the money from them even though it was the cleaner's job to empty the fridge.
To the barricades!
>> No. 12490 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 8:25 pm
12490 spacer
>>12487

There's a notice taped to the fridge where I work saying that thefts will be treated with disciplinary action.

Whenever I'm in on a weekend I always use some of the head's milk, as vengeance for the shift patterns she forced in. Cunt.
>> No. 12491 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 9:10 pm
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>>12488

Look at this chav who doesn't eat serrano and stinking bishop sarnies for elevenses.
>> No. 12492 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 9:29 pm
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ARLbk8j.jpg
124921249212492
>>12491
Billy Bear or nothing.
>> No. 12493 Anonymous
6th August 2018
Monday 10:19 pm
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>>12492

I felt a great disturbance in the John Lewis, as if millions of middle-class mothers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly ranting on Mumsnet.
>> No. 12494 Anonymous
7th August 2018
Tuesday 1:23 pm
12494 spacer
People who overrun their meetings through poor time keeping then don't stop to check if anybody actually wants to eat at 12. 12 is sacrosanct eating hour fuck me.
>> No. 12495 Anonymous
7th August 2018
Tuesday 3:27 pm
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>>12494
You're better off eating at one. Shorter afternoon, innit.
>> No. 12496 Anonymous
7th August 2018
Tuesday 4:48 pm
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>>12495

Just have a #sneakyharvester when everyone else is back at work.
>> No. 12497 Anonymous
7th August 2018
Tuesday 7:38 pm
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>>12478
>>12479
>>12480

The places I've known to do this work on a bonus / evaluation basis. If you fuck up a lot your evaluation won't go well and you won't be getting a bonus for that period. They usually apply this to both quality of work and your timekeeping.
>> No. 12498 Anonymous
7th August 2018
Tuesday 7:50 pm
12498 spacer
>>12497

I'm very familiar with OTE-type bonuses, but I don't think that's what otherlad meant by a 'monetary fine system'. That'd be a very strange way to phrase not getting a bonus dependent on performance.
>> No. 12499 Anonymous
7th August 2018
Tuesday 8:39 pm
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>>12494
I go for lunch as late as possible normally. I dunno why.
>> No. 12519 Anonymous
10th August 2018
Friday 6:27 pm
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Fuck offices. I'm going to work under the sea.
>> No. 12520 Anonymous
11th August 2018
Saturday 1:08 pm
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>>12498
It's exactly what it says on the tin. You do (or don't do) some thing that's on the list, you get fined. The sum varies, if it's the second time you fuck up, the fine will be higher. If it's the third time even more so, up to lay off.
>> No. 12521 Anonymous
11th August 2018
Saturday 1:35 pm
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>>12520

That's mental. I hope you're getting paid handsomely before the fines.

I can't even fathom signing that sort of contract, unless it was big money they were offering in the first place. I've turned down jobs for having targeted bonuses that seemed too unrealistic.
>> No. 12523 Anonymous
11th August 2018
Saturday 11:31 pm
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>>12519

£1000 a day for divers, lad

Dangerous as fuck, might die each day you go down to weld a North Sea oil rig stanchion thing.

Not many women taking this career option to shorten a pay gap
>> No. 12524 Anonymous
12th August 2018
Sunday 9:42 am
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>>12523

You have my attention. Commercial diving? Do I need to take on an apprenticeship or a long period of training? How many professional divers die per year?

I'll obviously search for these answers myself, but often .gs knows some incredibly in-depth knowledge of stuff like this.
>> No. 12526 Anonymous
13th August 2018
Monday 1:20 pm
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>>12521
> I hope you're getting paid handsomely before the fines.
Not really. But then, we don't have fines yet. The sales department do.

They've lost the majority of the oldies during the last 6-12 months. My more optimistic - and closer to the management - workmates say that'll preclude the introduction of fines to our department as it has created a moderately high turnover rate at the sales dept., thus not really working as intended. Add that the head of our dept. has stated several times that he doesn't think that fines ever work. But I wouldn't wager on that - he's a 'no fucks given' lad, if the tops peck him long enough, he'll probably cave.

The supervisor of our team has also worked at all kinds of shite jobs and thus reckons that fines are normal and that there can't be too much discipline. That doesn't help either.

Now having written all of this and re-called some other dubious things that have happened over the last year maybe I should really consider bugging out.
>> No. 12527 Anonymous
13th August 2018
Monday 3:14 pm
12527 spacer
>>12526

Can I ask what sort of job you do/industry you're in? The idea of a lad saying fines are normal is utterly alien to me.
>> No. 12528 Anonymous
14th August 2018
Tuesday 8:34 pm
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>>12527
Telecommunications. What that lad says is of less importance really [0], he's a bit too complex (this also had been noticed by people who'd worked with him at the same company way before I joined); I'll emphasise that it's a different country. Not UK. Things are different here. Probably different enough that I could have been equally perplexed by your reaction had I not heard that you have it a tad better than we do (but as >>12497>>12480 imply, still not without similar issues).

Unsure what else to add here without going into the whining territory.

[0] Regarding this specific industry as he previously worked in a different one.
>> No. 12529 Anonymous
14th August 2018
Tuesday 8:43 pm
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>>12528

>I'll emphasise that it's a different country. Not UK.

Ah okay - that does make more sense.

It'd be fully legal for a company to do this in the UK too (as long as it's in your contract etc), I've just never heard of it happening here, ever, I suspect because it'd certainly put people off here. Whether that says more about our country or yours, I don't know.
>> No. 12530 Anonymous
14th August 2018
Tuesday 10:08 pm
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>>12487

My favourite thing about being a cleaner in an office is not doing any of the office work.

Now I work in an office and it's like being on the outside looking in.
>> No. 12532 Anonymous
14th August 2018
Tuesday 10:21 pm
12532 spacer
Scrum (The software development thingy). It's being implemented at my work, and it all seems a bit wanky-bollocks to me. Loads of meetings, when I was want to be getting on with shit.
>> No. 12533 Anonymous
14th August 2018
Tuesday 10:24 pm
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We've had a new lad start and he's quiet. Really quiet. Now I'm fairly asocial and a bit awkward but he kills every conversation dead. Ask him if he had a nice weekend and you'll get a "fine, thanks" with no mention of what he did or asking you about your weekend. I know he's new and people take time to settle in but it's like drawing blood from a stone.
>> No. 12534 Anonymous
14th August 2018
Tuesday 10:27 pm
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>>12532
Everyone does it differently - if used well, it can be really good. There should only be at most three meetings, a daily standup, a planning meeting and a retrospective (they can be the same meeting) every two or four weeks depending on your sprint cycle. Anything else is, as you say, wanky-bollocks.
>> No. 12535 Anonymous
14th August 2018
Tuesday 11:42 pm
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>>12533
Sorry mate but I'm here to work, not to chat. Everyone is babbling on so much about Celebrity Big Brother and their favourite type of coffee that I can barely concentrate on learning the ropes as it is.
>> No. 12536 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 1:47 am
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>>12533
>>12535
People who attend Bronycon but mantain regular jobs would be vague, I imagine.
>> No. 12537 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 6:40 am
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>>12535
As I said, I am socially awkward and not a people person. However, being an introvert doesn't mean that I don't know the basics of how to carry a conversation. It's not even inane chatter like talking about Love Island, which the admin bints were obsessed with but that's a different team in a different part of the building; he kills pretty much every single effort to talk to him with extremely short answers.

I'm not hoping that he's going to be a massive chatterbox, but there's a load of middle ground between that and giving two/three word responses.
>> No. 12538 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 8:05 am
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>>12537
Alright then, try highlighting it and see how he reacts. Ask another open-ended question and when you get the requisite terse response, pause for a few seconds and then say something like "Man of few words, aren't you?" He might address it, and if it doesn't, at least you've made him aware he's being unsociable.
>> No. 12539 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 8:10 am
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>>12538
People who are quiet love it when you point out that they're quiet.
>> No. 12540 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 8:12 am
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>>12539

I was just about to say the same thing.
>> No. 12541 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 8:16 am
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https://everything2.com/title/you+don%2527t+talk+much
>> No. 12542 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 8:20 am
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>>12533

What if you didn't do anything at the weekend but would feel judged for saying so? I think "Fine thanks" might be a reasonable way to dodge the question.
>> No. 12543 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 9:20 am
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>>12542
It turned out that he has actually been up to things this weekend. Besides, it does not take much to go from saying "Fine, thanks" to "Fine, thanks. You?"
>> No. 12544 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 9:41 am
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>>12537

If he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't have to talk. You both get paid, whether he makes chit-chat or not.

The best graphic designer I've ever worked with is practically mute. I only ever get one-word answers out of him, I know literally nothing about his personal life, but I couldn't care less. He does brilliant work incredibly quickly and he never chews my ear off about a half-marathon or little Harriet's school concert or some tedious shit on Facebook. My working life would be a lot easier if more people just did their fucking jobs so we can all go home.
>> No. 12545 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 10:26 am
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>>12537

He's new, probably a bit nervous and uneasy around new people, while also trying to get his footing in the new job in a new environment.

He'll doubtless never be the chatty type, but I bet after a few weeks he'll have warmed up enough to tell you what he did at the weekend, since you seem so desperate to know.
>> No. 12546 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 1:49 pm
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>>12545
>I bet after a few weeks he'll have warmed up enough to tell you what he did at the weekend, since you seem so desperate to know.

Trying to make a new starter feel welcome? What a right fucking bastard.

Chances are he won't warm up because people will have already written him off by that point and won't try to start a conversation with him anymore.
>> No. 12547 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 1:58 pm
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>>12546
>won't try to start a conversation with him anymore
THE DREAM
>> No. 12548 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 5:52 pm
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>>12543

>It turned out that he has actually been up to things this weekend.

How did you find out?
>> No. 12549 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 6:20 pm
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>>12548
Asked him.
>> No. 12550 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 6:43 pm
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>>12549
Why the fuck would you ask someone what they did at the weekend, on a fucking Wednesday? That's just the most awful insult I could imagine.
>> No. 12551 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 6:55 pm
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>>12541
> I can say "You're right, I don't." which is true, but sounds stupid when I say it.
For fuck's sake, why.
It's a decent answer.
>> No. 12552 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 7:43 pm
12552 spacer
>>12551

I guess their social anxiety makes them hard-wired to feel like everything they say sounds stupid but "You're quiet" is a hell of a conversation-killer. "No I'm not" is a lie and "Ummm, yes" sounds like doubling down on your quietness, like you're doing it to be a jerk rather than feeling that everyone except you got the "How to make conversation" rule book.
>> No. 12553 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 7:47 pm
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>>12550
That was just an example. There's been a more than a few similar instances.

Actually, today was more about explaining to him why it's generally not a good idea to send curt emails to other departments if they haven't provided us with all the information they should have done because it would only get their backs up and these are people he's going to be interacting with frequently so it's an idea to have a good working relationship with them and helping him reword them.

I thought most people in his age bracket who have poor verbal social skills at least could compensate for this somewhat with relatively strong electronic communication skills, thanks to the likes of growing up with MSN Messenger, but apparently not.
>> No. 12554 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 7:58 pm
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>>12538

>at least you've made him aware he's being unsociable.

Like he doesn't know? That's as helpful as saying "don't be shy" and thinking someone can change their whole personality on your request. He doesn't have twelve different witty responses in his head but is choosing not to share them.
>> No. 12555 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 8:01 pm
12555 spacer
>>12553

Have you got an example of how an email was worded and what it was specifically in response to? I can't really gauge how bad they were.
>> No. 12556 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 9:34 pm
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>>12555
I can't remember exactly what it was but it was fairly trivial, just them missing off a minor piece of information we needed from a document.

His email was very blunt and a little bit beyond being matter of fact; it wasn't malicious but it wasn't exactly the kind of thing you'd send to people unless you were trying to rile them up a bit.
>> No. 12557 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 10:21 pm
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>>12553

i gru up wiv MSN n my writin skills r mint
>> No. 12560 Anonymous
17th August 2018
Friday 7:48 pm
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I'm finding it really hard to take a full hour for lunch at the minute. I've spent most of the past four months or so studying for an exam, where I'd spend twenty minutes eating or playing on my phone and the remaining forty reading textbooks.

Now I've got a full hour again it feels like such a long time to fill. At the minute I'm just working through and chalking it up as overtime, but it's starting to make me feel a bit knackered.
>> No. 12561 Anonymous
18th August 2018
Saturday 11:12 am
12561 spacer
I work in quality assurance in manufacturing, smallish company, <100 employees.

Got fucked over by the commercial and customer services guys today, made us send out a part flagged for inspection and testing before any of it's been done. Basically indicating my job is pointless and not valued. All that other shit in goods in? Fuck it, who cares.

I fucking hope that part fucks up and they get made to look like cunts.
>> No. 12562 Anonymous
18th August 2018
Saturday 11:33 am
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>>12560

I never understand people that don't take their lunch or can't fill it.

Go read, go for a walk, do your shopping, do something, anything, that isn't work, otherwise you will burn out.

Even if you work in a grim industrial estate getting out fo the office will do wonders for ten minutes whilst you take a walk.

An hour isn't nearly enough.
>> No. 12563 Anonymous
18th August 2018
Saturday 11:47 am
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>>12562
I used to have an hour lunch, I got bored too.

You can list off all that shit if you want, I don't want to do it.
>> No. 12564 Anonymous
18th August 2018
Saturday 11:51 am
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>>12563

But the lad's complaint was that he is struggling to fill the time and as a result he is working and it is starting to wear him down, so I gave him some suggestions.

Couldn't give a fuck whether you don't want to, I wasn't speaking to you.
>> No. 12565 Anonymous
18th August 2018
Saturday 12:04 pm
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>>12564


If you have problems /emo/ is the place for them.
>> No. 12566 Anonymous
19th August 2018
Sunday 2:45 am
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>>12565

>the place for them

/IQ WE ARE LEGION
WE ARE THEM
>> No. 12567 Anonymous
21st August 2018
Tuesday 7:32 am
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The people with the keys to open up have overslept.
>> No. 12586 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 11:22 am
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We had two trainees, one was a smart lad who took his time to actually learn something and the other one was too dense to even pretend he wants a job. Guess who got told to bugger off.

It is ridiculous because the stated reason was 'no cronyism' since that lad is a brother to some bloke from our department. The real stinger here is that the dense lad isn't an outsider either; he just happened to be a protege of some fat bint from the Finance and our no-fucks-given head of department had listened to her a bit too attentively for some reason.

The blockhead got told to sod off too anyway. And we got told to make do with vacant shifts by ourselves. Apparently for free. I don't know what happened to our boss; he used to be a pretty straight shooter and a fair bloke.

I don't recall when was the last time about 75% of department wanted to fuck right off. Won't wager that they'd do it but the discontent is really strong now.
>> No. 12589 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 1:30 pm
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>>12586

>I don't know what happened to our boss; he used to be a pretty straight shooter and a fair bloke.

Well clearly he's shagging the fat bint from finance, that must be affecting his work.
>> No. 12590 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 1:52 pm
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We've had someone new start this week and she is stunning. Really stunning. What's noticeable is that just about every single female in the office has upped their game; they're putting more effort into their hair and make-up and they're all wearing nicer clothes than usual.

This means it's going to inevitably end in disaster. I give it a few weeks until the atmosphere turns toxic as it descends into a hellhole of pure spite and vitriol.
>> No. 12594 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 2:53 pm
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>>12589
I don't think so, she's about 15-20 years older than him.
>> No. 12596 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 3:53 pm
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>>12594
He's fucking her daughter!
>> No. 12600 Anonymous
11th September 2018
Tuesday 11:09 am
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Someone came back from maternity about three months ago and all she ever talks about is her baby or her husband. I know barely anything about this person because she almost entirely chooses to define herself by being able to push a baby out.
>> No. 12601 Anonymous
11th September 2018
Tuesday 4:50 pm
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>>12600

For some women that's all they have. A coworker of mine was moaning about how miserable her life was, until she popped a sprog out and then after that all she'd talk about was the kid. It distracted her from the job she hated and the husband she was pretty much indifferent to. I don't blame her at all for fixating on it, even if she wasn't biologically predisposed to anyway.
>> No. 12602 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 8:11 am
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>>12600

Just leave them be and focus on your own preoccupation.
>> No. 12603 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 4:38 pm
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They've booked the Christmas do for a Saturday. A fucking Saturday. Fuck that.
>> No. 12604 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 5:05 pm
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>>12603

Good luck. Unless the restaurant's very, very, very, good at service you'll be waiting an eternity for everything, the chaos will be palpable. Typically we call the Saturday before the 25th Black Saturday as it's so fucking grim. The dates are shaping up this year to have two, the 15th and the 22nd of December. I pray for you that yours is earlier than that.

I don't particularly understand why people even bother eating out in December. It's never, ever good.
>> No. 12605 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 5:26 pm
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>>12604
It is one of those dates. I've already responded to say I'm not going. I don't mind giving up a weekday evening to get pissed with work colleagues, especially when it means closing the office early, but it's not something I'd give up a decent chunk of my weekend for. I've been to the venue before and it's a poky old hotel; if they couldn't get anywhere decent because they've left booking too late then they should have just organised a piss-up in February.
>> No. 12606 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 5:51 pm
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>>12605

Mid September is considered late for Christmas time? Holy shit. I don't know what I'm doing for dinner tonight and I have guests arriving in 30 minutes.
>> No. 12607 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 6:07 pm
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>>12606

When you're trying to book something like an office do for 50+ people, anywhere past June is getting late. Christmas is the busiest time of the year and it's hard to find places that cater for big parties.

My work hasn't booked it yet either, because nobody trusts last year's organiser, but nobody can be arsed to do it themselves either. Looks like my only half joking backup plan of going to KFC is going to become a reality.
>> No. 12608 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 6:51 pm
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>>12606

Most restaurants are fully booked for December by the start of September. Nicer places or those more routinely suited to large parties will be full often before summer. A great many companies will book their table an entire year in advance, it's very common for people to ask if they can book again for next Christmas while they're still sat there waiting for their dessert to arrive.
>> No. 12615 Anonymous
19th September 2018
Wednesday 11:29 am
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EVERYONE IS COUGHING AND SNEEZING, SPREADING THEIR GERMS.
>> No. 12616 Anonymous
19th September 2018
Wednesday 11:45 am
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>>12615
I've had the good sense to cancel everything this week, as I'm loaded with flu. Fucking honestly man, freshers are riddled. Missus started college and had a cold on the first day.
>> No. 12623 Anonymous
25th September 2018
Tuesday 6:53 pm
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They're having a charity bake sale at work this week. However, hardly anyone has baked anything and they've just brought in something they've got from the shops instead. They've also set the prices ridiculously high so barely anything is selling, either.
>> No. 12624 Anonymous
25th September 2018
Tuesday 9:01 pm
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I sit next to a woman in her late fifties and she doesn't maximise windows; if something doesn't open full screen automatically then she'll keep it as it is. I'll glance over and see her doing something like typing in Word with it only taking up about half the screen.

We've also got dual monitors and she's forever clicking in the wrong place to drag something from one screen to the next no matter how many times she's shown how to do it.
>> No. 12625 Anonymous
25th September 2018
Tuesday 9:27 pm
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>>12624
Old people being bad with computers is a stereotype that is somehow older than computers themselves.
>> No. 12626 Anonymous
25th September 2018
Tuesday 9:49 pm
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>>12625
Of course old people shouldn't be bad with computers. Any woman in her fifties with a career has had up to thirty years of practice using them in the workplace.
>> No. 12627 Anonymous
27th September 2018
Thursday 2:55 pm
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I went out for a walk with a couple of people I supposedly work with and one of them gave me a cig (I don't smoke IRL). When we got back I threw the cig in the bin without fully stubbing it out properly and it caught fire. I kept soaking towels in the sink and throwing them on the fire but it wouldn't go out. I had to interview a couple of people for jobs in the afternoon and I had to tell each of them "don't mind the bins" and play it off like having a bin on fire in your place of work was one of the most natural things in the world.
>> No. 12628 Anonymous
27th September 2018
Thursday 5:51 pm
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>>12627

Did you miss the dream thread?
>> No. 12629 Anonymous
27th September 2018
Thursday 7:01 pm
12629 spacer

oh you!.jpg
126291262912629
>>12627
>> No. 12630 Anonymous
27th September 2018
Thursday 8:31 pm
12630 spacer
>>12627
Sounds like that IT Crowd episode with the soldering iron.
>> No. 12631 Anonymous
27th September 2018
Thursday 8:40 pm
12631 spacer
>>12629
SNEAKY SNEAKY
>> No. 12632 Anonymous
27th September 2018
Thursday 8:54 pm
12632 spacer
>>12631
You absolute bastard.
>> No. 12633 Anonymous
4th October 2018
Thursday 5:05 pm
12633 spacer
>>12600 here again.

She was doing FaceTime with her baby in the middle of the office. Fuck sake.
>> No. 12634 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 3:25 pm
12634 spacer
>>12633Just be glad she doesn't bring the cretin in.
>> No. 12635 Anonymous
8th October 2018
Monday 10:09 pm
12635 spacer
They have sent an email saying that the hotel rooms for the christmas party must now be shared - you can pick your partner but if you don't then one will be picked for you.

If ever there was a sign that things are going downhill, this is it.
>> No. 12636 Anonymous
9th October 2018
Tuesday 1:16 am
12636 spacer
>>12635
Sounds like they don't want anyone to go.
>> No. 12637 Anonymous
9th October 2018
Tuesday 4:14 am
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>>12635
>hotel rooms for the christmas party
Well look who's a posho.
>> No. 12639 Anonymous
9th October 2018
Tuesday 9:36 am
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>>12635

Fucking hell lad. Make sure you pick a fine filly, you're getting a work affair this year whether you like it or not. Must be some kind of teambuilding thing.
>> No. 12640 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 8:33 am
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There is a lad who somehow thinks it's acceptable to utilise the frankly underpowered and shitty microwave in the staffroom for 10 minutes every lunchtime to bake a potato from scratch. Everyone else brings in leftovers that take, at best, 2 minutes of microwave time. All of our lunch breaks are only 30 minutes, so if anyone gets there after him they have to scarf down their food and get a burnt tongue simply because of his selfishness.

People have made reproachful comments, albeit jokingly because that's the most we can do as Brits to indicate this his behaviour is socially unacceptable, yet every day he still does it. Every day, 10 minutes to bake his sodding potato. Fuck you, Adam. You're shit at your job and everyone knows it.
>> No. 12641 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 8:52 am
12641 spacer
>>12640

I know it's the principle of the thing and you don't want Adam to win, but you can get another microwave for fifty quid. Maybe you could set up a donation box next to the existing microwave, draw a picture of a spud on it if you don't feel it's passive aggressive enough.
>> No. 12642 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 9:01 am
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>>12640
BIN HIS POTATO. THAT'LL LEARN HIM.
>> No. 12643 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 9:06 am
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s-l300.jpg
126431264312643
It's faster to microwave a baked potato if you put in on a big plate with a small mixing bowl over it because then it gets nuked and steamed at the same time.
>> No. 12644 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 9:28 am
12644 spacer
I know people microwave potatoes to start them off, but I don't even know why you'd want to do it fully in a microwave. Wouldn't the skin be awful?
>> No. 12645 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 9:32 am
12645 spacer
>>12644

It's fast. The skin isn't crispy or crunchy or whatever but I don't find anything awful about it. I can barely remember what non-nuked jacket potatoes are like though. It's been years.
>> No. 12646 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 9:36 am
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amaz.jpg
126461264612646
>>12643

You can do a bunch of baby/anya/salad potatoes under a mixing bowl or splatter shield and make cheat tater hash with tinned mince or soy mince. The potatoes are nicer than the cubed and boiled ones I think.
>> No. 12647 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 9:44 am
12647 spacer
>>12645

It's about the same as traditionally cooked new potato skin.
>> No. 12648 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 11:11 am
12648 spacer
>>12645

For me almost the best bit of a jacket spud is the crispy skin, I can't fathom not covering it in oil and roasting it for at least ten minutes after you've nuked it. I appreciate if you want a potato in ten minutes you're limited to the microwave, so fair enough.
>> No. 12649 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 1:17 pm
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>>12648
Oil on a jacket potato? I'm not sure I can agree with this.
>> No. 12650 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 2:16 pm
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I tried air fryer chips, the way they suggested you make them, which is pre-microwave them, add a little oil, then put them in the air-fryer, and they just tasted like crappy reheated potatoes. You know that reheating-a-meal-after-it's-fully-gone-cold taste? It's not completely horrific but very distinctive.
>> No. 12651 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 2:36 pm
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>>12649
Not him, but yes if you're baking it properly, not nuking.
Rub on oil & salt, bake. Perhaps preheat in microwave to give you a head start (my oven throws microwaves into the fan oven for such things, works really well - nice full-skin baked potato in 15 mins.)
>> No. 12652 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 3:17 pm
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>>12641
>you can get another microwave for fifty quid

I'm not sure why you're informing me of this, do I look like my manager?
>> No. 12653 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 4:29 pm
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>>12652

That's why you're still in the cubicles, Colin. No initiative.
>> No. 12654 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 5:25 pm
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>>12651
You haven't sold me yet on this oily potato. Tell me what fillings you have inside of it. If it doesn't involve cottage cheese or chives then I'm even more sceptical.
>> No. 12655 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 5:28 pm
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>>12654

What's to be sceptical about? You want a tasty crispy skin, you add oil. Basic cooking facts innit.

The filling is going to be whatever you want in your baked spud.
>> No. 12656 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 5:37 pm
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>>12655
I have perfectly crispy potatoes without any oil, won't it just make them greasy?
>> No. 12657 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 6:45 pm
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>>12656

It's only on the outside of the potato, I'm not sure why you'd think you'd be able to make an entire spud greasy with a thin coating of oil.

Anyway, it's the best way to do them, I suggest trying it, I'll send you the 30p for a potato if you don't like it.

https://www.thepauperedchef.com/article/the-great-potato-contest
>> No. 12658 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 11:17 am
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The macerator in the gent's toilets downstairs is fucked so we've commandeered the ladies' toilets upstairs.

They are ridiculously better than ours. They have natural light. The paint still looks white. There's no questionable brown stains on the wall or around the toilet roll holder. They have fresh air circulating.

I don't think I can go back to our regular toilets after this. Not after I've tasted nirvana.
>> No. 12659 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 1:10 pm
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>>12658

You're not supposed to be tasting anything in there, you pervert.
>> No. 12660 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 3:27 pm
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>>12659
Why do you think it's called menstruate? Talk about not seeing the wood for the trees.
>> No. 12661 Anonymous
18th October 2018
Thursday 4:56 pm
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I'd received an email today which was signed off reminding me that great people don't see problems, they see solutions.

In this particular instance I'd had to tell my colleague that I couldn't do any work with what they've provided me because it was a steaming pile of shite, with the only conceivable solution being for them to do their job properly.
>> No. 12662 Anonymous
18th October 2018
Thursday 6:37 pm
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>>12661

"reminding me that great people don't see problems, they see solutions."

Which great person if any has ever said that? You know who did have a solution though? Hitler.
>> No. 12663 Anonymous
18th October 2018
Thursday 7:12 pm
12663 spacer
>>12662
It's one of those bullshit sayings used by knobhead managerial types because they think they're sharing profound wisdom when they tell it to people, like "I'd rather be a leader than a swallower" or "assume makes an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'".
>> No. 12664 Anonymous
18th October 2018
Thursday 7:54 pm
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>>12663

There's no "i" in "team" but there's a "u" in "cunt".
>> No. 12665 Anonymous
18th October 2018
Thursday 7:56 pm
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>>12663

That fucking picture of the 'leader' and the workers dragging the workload, I've seen that thing posted by so many fucking ineffective managers in my time.
>> No. 12666 Anonymous
22nd October 2018
Monday 11:01 am
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>>12478>>12526
Boy did it get worse. I expected anything really but not what's unfolded recently, no, I bloody didn't.
Did I say tighten? Bugger to that because the whole department gets merged with the sales department, with the head of sales dept. becoming our [0] boss too. With 25 to 50% of the aforementioned sales dept. being laid off in perspective; very possibly up to 75-90% with time. With all the corporate shite like fines, dress code (ugh!), whatever other great idea sucked off the glossy feel-good books for the managerial types.

The kicker? The pay is going to be the same. Perhaps with a 25% raise but given at least twice - more likely thrice - as much work plus fines plus more layoffs, it's all a fucking joke.

[0] Not mine, thank god. I switched jobs recently.
>> No. 12667 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 1:06 pm
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"How dark out is it? Horrible innit."
>> No. 12668 Anonymous
29th October 2018
Monday 7:30 am
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>>4189
>I got given one of these signed-by-everyone cards when I was leaving my job at the time (to go back to uni), along with an envelope with some money in it, and we all had a few pints at the pub after work. It was nice.

We had a student intern with us over the summer. When they left they got close to £200 from the collection and we all went out to the pub on their last day, even though we've agreed he's coming back over the Christmas break. Someone who worked here for almost four years recently left; the amount collected for them didn't even reach £40 and barely anyone went to the pub with him.
>> No. 12717 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 7:03 am
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127171271712717
The administration team at work are petrified of thinking for themselves. I had one of them approach me yesterday because they'd noticed an issue with something submitted to them. It turned out there were five separate issues with it and they came over five different times because it didn't occur to them once to review the entire thing to see if there was anything else wrong with it; every time they spotted an issue they just rushed over. I tried asking them a few basic things about each one and it was clear they hadn't even thought of doing even a bit of rudimentary digging around to see if there was background information which would mean the things they'd raised weren't even a problem. They have to be spoonfed absolutely everything.

It's an open plan office and some of the inane things they come out with are absolutely shocking. Several of them couldn't name where Sydney is and actually thought Australia was a state in the USA. I just can't comprehend what it would be like to be in my twenties and have no ambition to do anything more than administration, having the same mindless conversations every weekday for the next forty years or so.
>> No. 12718 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 6:43 pm
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>>12717
These are the people who watch Love Island.
>> No. 12719 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 7:04 pm
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>>12718
I don't know if it's because I was too young to be fully aware of this beforehand, but it seems that ever since Jade Goody went on Big Brother people revel in their ignorance and boast about how they don't know things as if it's something to be proud of.
>> No. 12720 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 7:46 pm
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>>12668

Funny how far not being a knob will get you in the workplace.

We've one woman at our place who insists that when she leaves she doesn't want a collection or a do. She says she doesn't want a fuss. The reality of it is she knows no fucker would come out for it because she's a horrible cunt, and doesn't want the embarrassment.
>> No. 12721 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 10:28 pm
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>>12717
Every supervisor in retail is the same.
Whenever they go for their training they get a lobotomy and lose their common sense.
>> No. 12722 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 7:19 pm
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>>12720
Some people genuinely don't like a fuss being made and would rather keep themselves to themselves. I worked with someone who was fairly quiet and private who lived next to a canal so we all joked was the pusher and he didn't like attention on him. We managed to convince him to go to a nearby pub for lunch on his last day, just a few of us, and he was chuffed with his send off in the end.
>> No. 12727 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 2:11 pm
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>>12717
>It's an open plan office and some of the inane things they come out with are absolutely shocking. Several of them couldn't name where Sydney is and actually thought Australia was a state in the USA.

One of them today has been quite proudly stating how she hasn't read a book since she was a child. She also thought the back of a book was called a verb; she couldn't even describe what an actual verb is.
>> No. 12728 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 2:24 pm
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>>12727
Are you a civil servant by any chance?
>> No. 12729 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 5:50 pm
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I've got an alright job to be honest, got promoted to the office manager for a medium family company, but I've just entered a permanent slump after a couple of years that I cannot seem to shake.

The job's easy enough for decent pay, I get to roll in at 10-11am with nobody caring and spend most of the day drinking tea, lunching at KFC and browsing the internet in my own office; giving my assistant the donkey work and basically dotting the i's and crossing the t's.

Problem is I'm now starting to neglect even that, I just turn up and basically go home. It's correctable with a few weeks of mildly harder work but I am not going through the boom-bust cycle of this that I used to, I'm just doing *nothing* now and it's rubbing off at home too, I often stay late just to carry on using my work PC before going home and basically eating tea, wanking and napping before a 2am bedtime.

Problem is I'm likely underqualified and simply wouldn't get a better gig elsewhere.
>> No. 12731 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 7:20 pm
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>>12729
I'm in a managerial role and I find that I barely get the chance to do the things I'm actually meant to do because I get roped into so many other things. My predecessor admitted that he didn't really get anything done in his last six months.

When I do get the opportunity to do what I'm supposed to I find that I've either lost all momentum from being regularly broken off or know that I've got a meeting or something in my diary to start in the next half an hour so I dick around instead. Even when I do get a decent amount of uninterrupted time I can't motivate myself or focus so I'll just browse the internet or goof around for a bit.
>> No. 12733 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 9:49 am
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I am currently in the middle of the dull time of the year where my only work is doing the budget for next year. So all I've done is copy and paste last year's and check that none of the prices have changed. There's fuck all to do until about the end of February. So every day is just turn up to the office and kill 8 hours before going home.
>> No. 12734 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:49 am
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>>12733
Talk to your bosses about "remote working".
>> No. 12735 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 11:36 am
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>>12734
I'm the department manager, so I need to be in the office for dogshit meetings and occasionally arranging staff training courses. I am just cruising through the next few months until I get busier.
>> No. 12736 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 12:24 pm
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>>12735
Read some books, get really into Football Manager, embezzle company funds? This is a real opportunity here.
>> No. 12737 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 4:01 pm
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>>12736
I am spending most of my day looking at spreadsheets, the idea of football manager sounds tortuous. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts and I have a fortnight off coming up in a week
>> No. 12738 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 9:35 pm
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I'd fucking kill to be able to get paid to sit on my arse for a few working weeks and do nothing. I didn't even get lunch breaks until I approached my thirties.

I suppose the grass is always greener, my work days never seemed long, even when they were.
>> No. 12739 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:18 pm
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>>12737

As every prisoner and submariner knows, chess has the capacity to kill endless amounts of time.

https://lichess.org/
>> No. 12740 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:24 pm
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>>12738
Job was that?
>> No. 12741 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:47 pm
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>>12738

I mean, I'm not one of those managers you are on about, but my job does have a fair amount of downtime at certain points of the week depending what section you're in. A lot of the time, when you are forced to spend time at work with nothing much to do, it just breeds a feeling of contempt in me.

Instead of feeling good that I get paid to sit and do nothing, I can't help but think about all the much more valuable time I could be spending at home, doing something that feels more meaningful to me. I could be working on a song or developing my writing abilities. I think about all the time I've spent at work instead of doing those things, and how much I've neglected those passions because I have a job in order to pay my bills with a degree of security, instead of actually enjoying my life.

It's very depressing. At least when you have something to occupy yourself, the existential dread stays away until you find yourself sat posting about it on britfa on a Friday night.
>> No. 12742 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:53 pm
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Thinking about it, it's quite interesting how this thread has evolved over the past seven and a half years. We've gone from moaning about our superiors and how clueless head office staff are to feeling like imposters because we've suddenly found ourselves in managerial positions, struggling to fill the working day out and moaning about how useless our administrators are.

I think I might have a re-read of the entire thread about some point. Well, skipping the cunt-offs when race, cookies and whatever else sets you lot off were brought up.
>> No. 12743 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 8:03 am
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>>12741
I know exactly what you mean about about a feeling of contempt. I am lucky enough that I can get out of the office regularly for site visits. Days like the past Friday where all I had to do was go to meetings and kill time between the meetings are soul destroyingly dull.
>> No. 12744 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 3:22 pm
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>>12742
I am bitter and jealous.
>> No. 12746 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 5:51 pm
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>>12743

I assume my first post in this thread was >>2693, it definitely sounds like me. I'd have been barely a commis chef then, freshly promoted from my part time dishwashing job after uni.

I'm definitely impressed with myself with what I've achieved in that time, but my job is now essentially getting paid to teach restaurants how to appease those sorts of cunty customers. What a meaningless existence.

I did always feel like I was missing out on the majority of the office based banter in this thread, but I've seen enough of that stuff now too to last me a lifetime. Why are they always called Sandra, though?
>> No. 12747 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 8:12 pm
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>>12746
I'm the OP of this thread. When I created it I was 22 years old and working four days a week doing admin for the local council, on about £12,000, as it's all I could really find after graduating. Now I'm 30 years old, a chartered financial planner and I've got a very realistic chance of earning six figures within the next few years.
>> No. 12748 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 8:16 pm
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When I first posted here I was a suicidal call centre drone. Now I'm a poorly paid and overworked NHS labrat. But at least I'm not suicidal.

(When I first started posting on Britchan I'd never even had a job, it boggles the mind.)
>> No. 12749 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 1:03 am
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I think I posted this >>1802

I never imagined I'd be so miserable when I got here.
>> No. 12750 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 7:42 am
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>>12749
Have you ever had to bring in pastries for your work colleagues on your birthday?
>> No. 12751 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 10:20 pm
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>>12750
No, they don't know when my birthday is because I haven't told them.
>> No. 12752 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 10:43 pm
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>>12751

Oh, so you're that guy.
>> No. 12753 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 10:49 pm
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>>12752
I don't know what that means.
>> No. 12754 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 11:31 pm
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>>12750
I avoid all the bollocks. I'll chip in on presents and sign an office card, but that's it.
>> No. 12755 Anonymous
26th November 2018
Monday 8:24 pm
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I’m nostalgic for those shitty workspace dividers they had 10 years ago that you can see in OP’s pic. They weren't perfect but now I keep locking eyes with the woman who sits opposite me and it's getting weird. It’s like when you lock eyes with someone on the train and she becomes your train-girlfreind.

No attraction but my brain has certainly registered that something’s going on. “Yeah, I’ll give you a good hobnob, love”, I involuntarily say in my head as I pass the biscuits over. I don't want this at all but we’re both single and get along well enough that the office party could go terribly wrong. I know it will because I've been here before, we’ll end up alone. Then on my bed. Then she'll say we shouldn't after I'm bollock naked and I'll just go have a wank in the bathroom to spite her.
>> No. 12758 Anonymous
26th November 2018
Monday 11:33 pm
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>>12755
Mate, when a women says "We shouldn't" instead of "No." she is asking for permission, not declining consent.

At this point, you have to reassure her. First with your words, then with your cock.
>> No. 12762 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 9:04 am
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EVERYONE KEEPS SNEEZING AND NOW I'M SNEEZING AND MY NOSE IS RUNNING.
>> No. 12763 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 10:22 am
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>>12762
Here lies Anon, he was a Ladm9.
>> No. 12765 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 5:10 pm
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This is the first December I'm self employed and it's only just dawned on me that I don't have to do secret santa, thank fuck. It also dissuades me from ever expanding my business as I never want to have to do it again.

I might still buy myself a bottle of spirit that I've never, ever, given an indication that I enjoy, though, for old time's sake.
>> No. 12766 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 7:48 pm
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As the new guy I didn't really have a choice when it came to the team Christmas dinner/lunch. Can't be doing with being anymore anti-social even if I do end up with nobody to talk to.

But goddamn, I'm a working class lad from the provinces who has always worked in offices full of blokes. Can someone please translate this menu into normal meals. I assume chicken fatayer is like chicken pierogi with sour cream dip?
>> No. 12767 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 7:52 pm
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>>12766

Mains:

Vegetarian lumps
Fish kebab
Spicy chicken pie
Spicy roasted lamb
>> No. 12769 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 7:55 pm
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>>12766

Okay,

Butternut squash kofta - pumpkin ball curry

Tuna shish - fish on a stick and chips

Chicken fatayer - chicken pasties but spicy

Mechoui - lamb and dip and that
>> No. 12770 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 7:56 pm
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>>12767>>12769

The britfa hivemind is almost perfect now.
>> No. 12771 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 8:11 pm
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>>12767
>>12769
Ah, chicken is the safety as usual then. Now I can relax and look forward to getting the chair with one leg slightly shorter than the others and hearing 'hilarious' stories about everyone's children.
>> No. 12772 Anonymous
30th November 2018
Friday 8:17 pm
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>>12766
You want the lamb. The problem with mezze or tapas on a work do is that there will inevitably be a number of women who barely eat anything, but you'll look greedy if you have more than your fair share.
>> No. 12784 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 3:09 pm
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This afternoon's topic: Why Tommy Robinson should be Prime Minister.
>> No. 12785 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 3:13 pm
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>>12784
I hope the answer is "because we need a useful idiot to blame when everything goes tits up".
>> No. 12786 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 3:20 pm
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>>12785
Apparently it's because he talks about things that the mainstream media don't cover enough, something about two boys getting ran over in London that didn't seem overly coherent, and that Syrian refugee kid in Huddersfield didn't deserve to get £150,000 via GoFundMe because he wasn't really waterboarded and there's two sides to every story so he probably deserved it as there's loads of brown people in Huddersfield so it probably wasn't even racist
>> No. 12787 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 4:19 pm
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>>12784
I get Macron and Michelle Obama when those discussions come up because everyone in the office is centre left. Having a Tommy Robinson supporter to throw the cat amongst the pigeons would be dream for me.

Why are work people so strange, lads. They're not at all like people you would meet in your day to day affairs.
>> No. 12788 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 4:37 pm
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>>12787
She moved on to how much she hates feminists because they've got Baby It's Cold Outside banned on the radio in America.

I don't mind people having differing political opinions, it's just when what they're saying is half-baked bollocks based on Chinese whispers.
>> No. 12789 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 5:14 pm
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>>12788
>they've got Baby It's Cold Outside banned on the radio in America.

Sign me up.
>> No. 12790 Anonymous
11th December 2018
Tuesday 4:07 pm
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I've had a few pints at lunch and I'm finding it really hard to stay awake, nevermind actually doing any work.
>> No. 12791 Anonymous
13th December 2018
Thursday 12:36 pm
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I realise this will sound like 'whining about millennials' but there is something about people around the age of twenty where they don't seem capable of entirely thinking through what they're doing and keeping other people informed if what they're doing affects them.

>I'm going to allocate this internal phone number to a new starter, but I'm not going to bother informing the person whose number this used to belong to or anyone else internally.
>I'm going to set up the video conference like I was asked to, but I won't actually tell the people involved when it's ready and I'll just go back to my desk instead.

Maybe instead of millennials I mainly just mean the gormless fat kid they've roped into doing minor IT tasks. These are just a couple of examples when there's many. It's not hard to keep people in the loop.
>> No. 12792 Anonymous
13th December 2018
Thursday 12:46 pm
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>>12791
People under 20 aren't generally classed as Millenials, rather Gen. Z, or 'Zoomers'.
>> No. 12793 Anonymous
13th December 2018
Thursday 1:02 pm
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>>12791
In fairness your job sounds so boring I barely made it through the greentext.

>>12792
Don't say "zoomers" in the real world or you might look like a dafty.
>> No. 12794 Anonymous
13th December 2018
Thursday 5:44 pm
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I realise this will sound like 'whining about boomers' but there is something about people around the age of thirty five plus where they don't seem capable of entirely thinking about any perspective other than their own and thinking about how not every action revolves around them.

>I'm going to whine about an internal phone number that has obviously got good reason to be passed on occasionally solicit a call from somebody who hasn't rang it for a while and instead of explaining this number has been moved, get all grumpy
>I'm going to assume that these people are my obsequious slaves and when I ask them to do something I'm going to expect them to run up to me and fill me in with every detail rather than check for myself.

Maybe instead of boomers I just mean moany people who won't give 20 year old lads new to the workplace a break. These are just a couple of examples. It's not hard to go easy on people and check things yourself.
>> No. 12795 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 11:05 am
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>>12794
I had to re-check the URL bar to make sure I'm not on reddit. Have a word with yourself. Thanks.
>> No. 12796 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 11:12 am
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>>12795
Young 'uns get a bit tetchy and defensive if you point out they're a bit clueless and need to employ a bit of common sense, especially if they're graduates with a large sense of entitlement (as per >>6766).
>> No. 12797 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 2:21 pm
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Found in a job spec:
>You are entitled to 33 days’ paid holiday during each holiday year. This is made up of 22 days annual holiday plus 8 Statutory Bank and Public holidays (pro rata for part time staff). You will also receive your birthday off each year (or the closest working day) and 1 additional day if no sick leave is taken from 01/01 - 30/06 and 1 additional day if no sick leave is taken 01/07 - 31/12 each year.
>> No. 12798 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 4:39 pm
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>>12796
>>12795

Honestly nothing worse than a load of sad act cunts dead inside in an office acting all high and mighty because the processes of work have been ingrained into their soul so they act all haughty in front of the new lads because it's the only thing they've got.

Have a word with yourselves.
>> No. 12799 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 4:40 pm
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>>12797

Always see the whole birthday off thing as a sign of a shit company.

If you see that and are attracted by that, ask yourself why you're not just getting an extra day's leave to take when you want.

What a load of shite. Also, including bank holidays in the total leave is shite.

Thank god I'm employed somewhere decent that doesn't pull any of that crap.
>> No. 12800 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 4:49 pm
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>>12797
I was offered a job before (St. James's Place) where one day's leave in each quarter was dependent on not being sick during it. I turned them down.
>> No. 12801 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 5:22 pm
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>>12799

I saw a company advertising and the top two things on their list of 'perks' was "birthdays off" and "free fresh fruit!"

Imagine how shite that place must be that they're bragging about having a bowl full of apples on reception.
>> No. 12802 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 5:58 pm
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>>12799

It's the same with most "perks". They're cynical bait for dimwitted employees at shithouse companies. I worked in a call centre at one point and there were monthly "incentive days" for the top salesmen - go karting, paintball, that sort of thing. Just fuck off and give me the money, you patronising pricks. I'm an employee, not a juvenile delinquent on a rehabilitation scheme. I don't want to spend a second longer with these cunts than I am contractually obliged to.
>> No. 12803 Anonymous
18th December 2018
Tuesday 8:35 pm
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Leaving cards that get sent around for everyone to sign. In itself it's pretty moronic but somehow you still have to do it even when you don't really know nor like them. I don't mean to sound like an 'orrible old git but it's one of those stupid traditions that I'm not sure anyone really enjoys but you have do it anyway.
>> No. 12804 Anonymous
18th December 2018
Tuesday 8:41 pm
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>>12803
Where I work you only get to write in the cards if you've contributed to the present, so it's an easy way to identify who does and doesn't like you.
>> No. 12805 Anonymous
18th December 2018
Tuesday 9:10 pm
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>>12804
Ahaha wow, you can almost guarantee Sandra from HR came up with that one. What an awful shit-stirring of office politics.
>> No. 12806 Anonymous
18th December 2018
Tuesday 9:44 pm
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I really don't understand the point of the collection. Cash is the shittiest, most soul-less, least intimate present possible.

I never contribute any money, and if I actually care about the person enough then I buy them a real, personal, present. In the past this has included a couple of mugs with peaches on - referencing an inside joke, and a guidebook to the camino de santiago for a bloke who was retiring.
>> No. 12829 Anonymous
2nd January 2019
Wednesday 12:57 pm
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I work with someone who won't put a comma in for four figure numbers but will do for five figure numbers and above; he'd write 5000 and 50,000 but never 5,000.

I really can't be doing with it. It's just wrong.
>> No. 12830 Anonymous
2nd January 2019
Wednesday 3:03 pm
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>>12829

Be glad you don't deal with Indians - they put all the commas in weird places, like 5,00,000.
>> No. 12832 Anonymous
2nd January 2019
Wednesday 5:07 pm
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>>12829
It's a matter of style and you'll find examples of that in all the respected places.
>> No. 12833 Anonymous
2nd January 2019
Wednesday 5:08 pm
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>>12830

Different numerical system there though, innit? It's a lakh to take in.
>> No. 12834 Anonymous
2nd January 2019
Wednesday 6:13 pm
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>>12833
I'd take naan of that silly business.
>> No. 12841 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 4:52 pm
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>>12533>>12537 here again.

This week he's stopped saying bye when he bolts out the door at 4pm on the dot. I think it's safe to say he hates us all.
>> No. 12842 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 5:59 pm
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>>12841
I think we've all been like that lad.
Most people go to work to work, not make strong relationships and when it's time to leave, leg it.
>> No. 12843 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 6:11 pm
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Today I went home at 13:30 and went to bed. Not for any good reason, I just felt like it.

Meh.
>> No. 12846 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 12:00 am
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>>12841
>This week he's stopped saying bye when he bolts out the door at 4pm on the dot.

I feel attacked. Why do proto-HR people expect others to go through this awkward ritual everyday? I get how it can be seen as rude but it only imposes obligations on everyone to respond when they're finishing up on their own work.

Next you'll whinge he didn't go to some naff social event like weekend paint-balling in the middle of winter or go join you for lunch in the canteen when he'd brought a packed lunch in. Go and introduce him to us, he sounds like a top bloke if he wants nothing to do with you.
>> No. 12853 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 2:55 am
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>>12841
I think you're the problem.
>> No. 12854 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 7:21 am
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>>12846>>12853
You're pulling my leg now.

I'm not expecting him to be overly talkative by any stretch of the imagination, that's well established by now, but just saying bye to the rest of the team when you finish for the day isn't an awkward ritual to go through nor is it proof that you're a compliant little worker drone.

Actually, you're right. I'm going to have to lie down in a darkened room for an hour or two so I can build myself up to saying bye to them at the end of today. It's such a huge burden.
>> No. 12856 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 12:30 pm
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>>12854

You expect him to say goodbye just to make you feel better? Are you really that insecure?
>> No. 12857 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 12:53 pm
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>>12854

Why does it seem to personally offend you that he won't talk? Any normal would have tried to make small talk for about three or four days, and then taken the bloody hint.

So he walks out without saying bye, who cares. I'd already have mentally categorised the guy as a mardy cunt and therefore not expected him to. Do you fancy him or something?
>> No. 12858 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 1:02 pm
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>>12856
>>12857
Who the fuck do you think you are, Jamie McDonald? What's so fucking abhorrent about the basic human decency of saying hello and goodbye?

This is a work annoyances thread and if it annoys him he should be allowed to fucking gripe about it. It's not utterly unheard of that people get annoyed when they are ignored.
>> No. 12859 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 1:30 pm
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I hate the majority of people and I can’t stand listening to the inane things they say for small talk especially in a forced environment like work, but even I say goodbye.

There is good value in knowing if someone is still in the office somewhere or if they have left already for a number of reasons. I might wait around if I think someone is in a meeting so I can get an answer to a question so I can continue my job or I might bugger off because I won't get an answer to my question till the morning. That is without considering the health and safety reasons for knowing if someone is still around. Saying goodbye isn’t just some forced social pleasantry, that information has value to the people around you.
>> No. 12860 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 1:35 pm
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>>12858

Because you in yourself are the Worplace Annoyance for many of us. The tedious cunt who comes over and expects a blow by blow of your weekend and you can't be arsed making up a respectable lie about having a beer and watching the footy. The socialite who takes it personally when you try slip out at home time unnoticed. The prick who sits next to you at dinner when you're trying to read something in peace or listen to a podcast and starts going on about where they went fishing the other day.

There's nothing abhorrent about saying hello or goodbye. You're the one who hasn't answered the question of why you're taking it personally that he doesn't. Why are you expecting something of another person, that that person is not demanding from you? You're the one who is expecting something.
>> No. 12861 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 2:15 pm
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>>12856>>12857
I never actually said it bothers me he's stopped saying bye, I'm not really arsed, more that it's a sign that if he's decided to stop doing it after five months of being here that he probably hates us all. If anything I'm glad he does it because it makes me look more sociable, like when Meg in Family Guy gets an ugly friend to make her look better.

You lads have decided to run with it and read into it whatever you like, mainly seeing it as a personal attack and projecting your own insecurities. We've got one lad so bothered about people saying bye to other people leaving for the day because he loves his employer so much and his work is so important to him that he can't take his eyes away from it for even a brief second. We've got another lad who thinks that merely saying 'morning' and 'bye' to your colleagues means you're a massive chatterbox and you're oppressing them by making them listen to those two words; there's a gargantuan leap between 'bye' and boring people with all the inane details of your life according to most people but not according to the yeasty cunts on Britfa.
>> No. 12862 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 3:23 pm
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>>12861

I think they assume you are that sort of cunt because you think.

Doesn't say goodbye = he hates us.

And they equate the kind of person who concludes 'he hates us' with the sour grapes of someone who feels entitled and is bitter.

Generally people only reach the conclusion of hatered if they've got too much invested themselves (possibly because you tried to win their attention and denied) It is much more logical to assume this person is indifferent then hates all of you.
>> No. 12863 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 4:24 pm
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Surely if finishing time is the same time every day there's no functional reason to say goodbye to anyone. I also can't really imagine waddling around the office saying goodbye to everyone as if it was the last day of school. If someone's in my eyeline as I leave they might get a wave or a see you later but otherwise, no.
>> No. 12864 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 4:53 pm
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>>12863

We do have a lot of these non-job office wankers here though, where hours don't seem to matter. I can imagine it being important to know who leaves and when under that circumstance, so you can judge it just right so as not to be the first chancer out the door, but not the last cunt left.

But even so. Generally, my colleagues and I are all heading off at precisely two minutes to five to get our things from the cloakroom and we're out the door together at 5 on the nose. I only say bye to whoever it is I end up walking next to because they happen to be parked near me.
>> No. 12865 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 5:04 pm
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>>12861
>I never actually said it bothers me he's stopped saying bye, I'm not really arsed
>If anything I'm glad he does it because it makes me look more sociable, like when Meg in Family Guy gets an ugly friend to make her look better.

If you want to get a guys attention this bad then you need to dress yourself up a little at the office. Maybe ask the boss next time a project comes up if you can work collaboratively together (as he has skills in [x]) so he gets comfortable with you and on hand-in day invite him out for a celebratory drink. Wear something a bit tight fitting and he'll know exactly what you're after.
>> No. 12866 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 5:50 pm
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>>12860
>The prick who sits next to you at dinner when you're trying to read something in peace or listen to a podcast and starts going on about where they went fishing the other day.
People who do this deserve to be dragged into the street and shot.
>> No. 12867 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 6:31 pm
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>>12863
Due to some contractual fuckery, for a brief period in my job I was scheduled to leave at 4.50pm, whereas most were out at 5. I felt like a right cunt leaving 10 minutes before everyone else, but the hourly rate worked out at basically just over minimum wage anyway, so fuck staying. Plus, it meant I skipped any traffic on the way home.
>> No. 12868 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 6:58 pm
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He said 'have a nice weekend, guys' when he left today. Who the fuck does he think he is, making me feel obligated to wish him one back whilst I'm trying to crack on with my own work? It's a slippery slope from here on in; he'll spend next week droning on about how the training is going on for his Three Peaks Challenge, the benefits of his high protein instant chilli con carne pots or trying to pressure us into doing a work tough mudder now that he's revealed his true colours as someone who acknowledges his colleagues when he leaves for the day.
>> No. 12869 Anonymous
5th January 2019
Saturday 9:15 pm
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Still waiting for my P45, I reckon I won't even get it. I'm sure if I phone up they'll say it's in the post.
Cunts.
>> No. 12871 Anonymous
5th January 2019
Saturday 11:09 pm
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Not my workplace, but this sort of shit really makes me despair. I know they're just trying to be cute and funny but it just reminds me of massive corporations like Innocent Smoothies who pretend to be your friend and write wacky jokes on their bottles. It's decidedly not what I want when working with a business. I want to learn about your company, not get second hand embarrassment for you.

Also I bet I couldn't get a meeting with that CEO even if I tried
>> No. 12872 Anonymous
5th January 2019
Saturday 11:20 pm
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>>12871
I bet if you promised to bring a big enough ball of string she'd bump anything for you.
>> No. 12873 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 1:53 am
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>>12869
Grass them up to HMRC.
>> No. 12876 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 1:18 pm
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>>12871
That's painful enough even to just look at it.
>> No. 12877 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 4:06 pm
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>>12871

This is painful, but honestly don't mind Innocent too much.

Their style is clear, communicable and fits in with their overall brand, easy going, does good, is good. Positive, happy, decent. Also it makes it fun when bored to read the smoothie bottles and find what random crap they've written on it.

Doesn't really work the same for a recruitment agency.
>> No. 12878 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 4:18 pm
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>>12877

Innocent seem to have settled down now, they used to be a lot wackier, with shit on their bottles like "made with three bananas, 23 raspberries, and no elephants!!!" type stuff which made me want to die.
>> No. 12879 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 4:31 pm
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>>12877

>Doesn't really work the same for a recruitment agency.

Agreed, particularly since they're aiming at being the go-to high end hospitity recruiter in the north east, it just strikes me as entirely failing to appeal to their demographic. I haven't met many chefs or restaurant managers who would think this is funny or endearing, let alone northerners. Can you really imagine a grizzled geordie head chef looking at that and thinking "yes, this is the agency I want to spend time with"

By all accounts they're an excellent company, but this is just grim. Although they're a company ran entirely by animals so they're doing well.

their actual MD bird is well fit mind
>> No. 12880 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 5:34 pm
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>>12879

phwoar
>> No. 12881 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 6:29 pm
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>>12880

>> No. 12889 Anonymous
11th January 2019
Friday 11:13 am
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People who rarely use their email signature so it's a massive pain in the arse when you try to look up their phone number.
>> No. 12890 Anonymous
11th January 2019
Friday 7:35 pm
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>>12889
I want to say "People who use an email signature." in response.
>> No. 12891 Anonymous
11th January 2019
Friday 7:45 pm
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>>12890
Obscenely long signatures are evil and need to die. Keep it to three lines or fuck off.
>> No. 12892 Anonymous
11th January 2019
Friday 8:18 pm
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>>12891
Well, three lines is the oldest internet rule there is, but in an office or business setting? Fuck off.
>> No. 12893 Anonymous
11th January 2019
Friday 8:30 pm
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>>12892
He's right to be fair.

[Name]
[Sub department] / [business area]
[Phone number] / [Email address if for some reason you ABSOLUTELY must have it and you sometimes email through different emails]

Never understand people with about 7 lines that include Linkedin, a motto, something about not printing emails to save the environment, their specific business area's area, their desk location, working hours, anything like that is just unnecessary.
>> No. 12894 Anonymous
12th January 2019
Saturday 12:20 am
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>>12893
You forgot the accreditation logos, three business addresses, various registration numbers, a message from the virus scanner, and 3-4 other disclaimers.
>> No. 12895 Anonymous
12th January 2019
Saturday 1:20 am
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>>12893
Where I used to work, there was a mandatory signature structure including pretty much everything in >>12894. It looked shite, but when I legitimately forgot to update it I got a right talking to. I suppose it's primarily legal stuff.
>> No. 12896 Anonymous
12th January 2019
Saturday 8:36 am
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>>12895
>It looked shite, but when I legitimately forgot to update it I got a right talking to. I suppose it's primarily legal stuff.

It might just be an overzealous marketing department trying to justify their existence. The marketing team at my last place of work were an absolute nightmare for things like this (>>6201).

They'd try to dictate what you had to write in your out of office message and they'd spend weeks finalising something like the 'company' shades of red, blue and green to use, which didn't even match up with the actual shades used in the logo. They'd piss away shitloads of money getting someone else to design marketing material for them, with their only real contribution being the piss poor spelling and grammar, and they were also constantly sending out snotty emails saying we had to follow what they'd come up with, like the 'company' font, or the brand would be harmed; that was a particular favourite phrase of theirs.
>> No. 12897 Anonymous
12th January 2019
Saturday 2:17 pm
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>>12896
I remember subtly doctoring one of the product advertisements we had to put in, because it went

THIS IS NOT A CAR.
THIS IS NEW <MODEL NAME>.


so I changed it to

THIS IS NOT A CAR.
THIS IS THE NEW <MODEL NAME>.


I hope that the marketing department is actually staffed by representative realists.
>> No. 12909 Anonymous
24th January 2019
Thursday 4:33 pm
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The cleaner at work needs better fitting jeans; every time she bends over her big fat arse crack is on show.
>> No. 12910 Anonymous
24th January 2019
Thursday 4:49 pm
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>>12909

She wants the D

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 12911 Anonymous
24th January 2019
Thursday 8:50 pm
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Work thoughts bubbling up when I'm in my own time. This week has been stressful but I'm not being paid to plan at home and it's interfering with my personal life if I can't switch off and wind down.

You lads have any tips to help compartmentalise life? I've already thrown out the very concept of checking emails at home.

>>12909
Seems like everyone is losing out in this arrangement. Surely work should shell out for a cleaners uniform? And then dock it out their wages.
>> No. 12912 Anonymous
24th January 2019
Thursday 9:00 pm
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>>12911
Sit down and try to build a visual fantasy in your head of your boss (or your boss' boss' boss) getting stressed about your financial situation in his/her free time. The resentment you feel about the ridiculousness of the scenario will be as a tonic.
>> No. 12913 Anonymous
24th January 2019
Thursday 9:48 pm
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>>12911
Change into trackies and a tshirt when you get home, maybe crack open a small beer after a hard day as soon as you get in, although obviously not a full on daily habit, blast some tunes, hit some drums, just anything un-worky.
>> No. 12915 Anonymous
24th January 2019
Thursday 11:42 pm
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>>12911

Even though I was salaried at the time, I started using an hour tracking app on my phone, so I'd clock in and out every day when I was working, just to see how many hours I was actually running - this had the added benefit of making me feel like I had physically and mentally finished work once I'd pressed the 'clock out' button.

Just remind yourself that you're not getting paid to sit at home and think or even worry about work. And >>12912 is right too.

I think it's more of a mental thing, you just have to realise that nobody's actually expecting you to be doing homework anymore. For some people they end up feeling weird guilt for ignoring a project while they're at home, but I think that's a mugs game. I have a phone with two sim cards in it so I can switch off the only number the work people have when I'm at home.
>> No. 12916 Anonymous
25th January 2019
Friday 6:36 am
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>>12911
Happens to most of us sadly. It's only natural since we spend so much of our time there.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with it though, I usually become aware and essentially mind bleach myself and switch to think about something completely opposite to work to stop the thought in it's track.
I also space out while listening to music in the dark a few times a week to rebuild myself after work's eroded parts of my mind.
>> No. 12917 Anonymous
25th January 2019
Friday 4:12 pm
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>>12911
I remember causing a bit of a shitstorm when my workmates 'found out' I wasn't checking neither the e-mails nor the work-related IM chats on my time off. Yes, they were really astonished.

Later I corrupted about half of the department into doing it my way. They thanked me for it; apparently, it never dawned upon these poor young souls that a time off is a time off.

>>12915
Some industries do. I have a few acquaintances who do web programming. I take it that they might be exaggerating; still, having to waste your own time to keep up with whatever other trendy framework of the day seems awfully unappealing to me.

>>12916
There was a period in my life when on my days off I would do exactly the same thing I'd been doing at work, only more or less for myself.
I find it interesting and moderately odd that despite being almost the same kind of activity, these two 'threads' never shared an intersection in my mind.

Self-sage for rambling and adding nothing of value.
>> No. 12918 Anonymous
25th January 2019
Friday 5:52 pm
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>>12917

>Some industries do. I have a few acquaintances who do web programming. I take it that they might be exaggerating; still, having to waste your own time to keep up with whatever other trendy framework of the day seems awfully unappealing to me.

Software development pays well, but there's a general expectation that you should be doing a substantial amount of learning and experimentation in your free time.

That expectation has created rampant ageism, because everyone assumes that guys in their forties have better things to do than learn whatever fad is the flavour of the month. Younger developers might not have the experience, but they'll work harder for less money and retrain themselves for nowt. It means that software developers have a weird career trajectory. You're at the peak of employability about 10 years after leaving university; at that point, you need to move into management or consultancy before you hit 40, or you risk getting stuck in a downward spiral.

I know loads of really competent developers who have become borderline unemployable in the industry because they fell off that treadmill. They don't have much new tech on their CV, so everyone assumes that they're past it, so they get stuck doing crap jobs in boring companies, so they don't get any new tech on their CV.
>> No. 12919 Anonymous
25th January 2019
Friday 6:44 pm
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>>12918

That is not always true in my experience. I work for a very middling software company (that generally doesn't pay all that well), and we have such a difficult time hiring people that we can't expect people to have programming as a hobby. We just want people who can program and communicate decently.
>> No. 12920 Anonymous
25th January 2019
Friday 10:41 pm
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>>12917
I'm a department head and my assistant is good bloke, but sometimes he's too fucking eager. The other day I got a phone call off him during the evening to talk to me about an email we received from a contractor. I told him to fuck off and we can talk about it in the morning.

Neither of us gets paid to work from home and as soon as I get home I silence WhatsApp and turn off email notifications on my work phone. I'll accept phone calls in case of an emergency, but they're really fucking rare.
>> No. 12921 Anonymous
26th January 2019
Saturday 1:40 am
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>>12920

You can't blame him, he wants to be in your position one day. It's easy to take this "time off is time off" attitude when you're not desperate for the chance to take the next step up the ladder.

Of course, none of this has ever concerned me because I'm one of those under-acheivers with the kind of job I forget I even have as soon as I walk out of the door. If I got promoted from my current position, I would have to do at least two nights a week on call, and fuck that. Fuck that to death in the eye socket.

No amount of money makes up for the fact I'd never truly have enough time to myself to actually enjoy it.
>> No. 12922 Anonymous
26th January 2019
Saturday 2:40 pm
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>>12918
> everyone assumes that guys in their forties have better things to do than learn whatever fad is the flavour of the month.
I could say that in my twenties as well.
> because they fell off that treadmill.
Aye, that's wot my m8 told me about it. And to me, it's a special kind of hell on Earth.
More so when he told me he makes x amount of money per month but the company profits from his work at about 5x-7x per same time period. It's sort of expectable and yet not the kind of thing one could be excited about.
>> No. 12923 Anonymous
26th January 2019
Saturday 3:10 pm
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>>12918
>Software development pays well, but there's a general expectation that you should be doing a substantial amount of learning and experimentation in your free time.
Yeah, I've pushed back against this as far as I can. If you need me to learn something new for the job, then you need to give me time to do it on the job. It's not my responsibility to cover the cost of doing business.

>>12919
Maybe stop being so cheap and shitty and people will want to work for you. Someone I know has had to deliver this exact message to a company whose dev team has shrunk from double digits down to two, and rumour has it one of those is about to jump ship.

I've had to point out to a public sector body that the reason they're having such trouble achieving change is that their wages are such that they're only promoting from within, and those getting promoted are seeing it just getting paid closer to what they're supposed to be paid. They're doing things the way they always have because there's no new blood. I joined when I was a bit desperate, and packed it in after a year because of all the internal bullshit (collecting a 25% pay rise to a middling salary on the way out).
>> No. 12924 Anonymous
26th January 2019
Saturday 4:02 pm
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>>12923
>Yeah, I've pushed back against this as far as I can. If you need me to learn something new for the job, then you need to give me time to do it on the job. It's not my responsibility to cover the cost of doing business.

Oh boy.

And this is why you'll never be in my development team.
>> No. 12925 Anonymous
26th January 2019
Saturday 4:02 pm
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>>12924

It's also why your dev team are all miserable sadacts.
>> No. 12926 Anonymous
26th January 2019
Saturday 4:18 pm
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>>12924
And that's why nobody wants to work in your development team.
>> No. 12927 Anonymous
26th January 2019
Saturday 4:22 pm
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>>12923 >>12924 >>12925 >>12926
>> No. 12928 Anonymous
29th January 2019
Tuesday 9:41 am
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Yesterday someone sent a joke email around most of the office because someone left their computer unlocked.

The admin bints are still talking about it now, going on as if it was the funniest thing that's ever happened and repeatedly reading the message aloud to one another.
>> No. 12929 Anonymous
29th January 2019
Tuesday 11:01 am
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>>12924
Can I be on your dev team? I don't know what you are doing but I would really like to be able to afford a haircut.
>> No. 12930 Anonymous
30th January 2019
Wednesday 1:08 pm
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Each day the sub-department I work at issues a pack of work orders to be done over the course of the day. There are three of us on the shift usually, with the all basic checks it takes about 10 to 25 minutes to finish it depending on how many orders there are.

Yesterday two my workmates came late. It was 09:20 no the clock, no orders had been issued. They turn their PCs on and immediately leave for coffee. 09:35, not a bloody sight of them. I started to hand the bloody orders away myself. Working alone, it took about 40-45 minutes. At 09:45 the two show up. Five minutes later or something I still handle the paper shite; passing a casual glance over the screen of my workmate I see him playing some browser-based online bollocks.

Later one of them utters something about 'coming to work earlier' because 'goddamn orders weren't issued fast enough'. Well fuck me, perhaps because the 2/3 of the workforce had been sitting on their arses doing bugger-all?

I remained silent; his statement was issued in rather passive-aggressive tone that wasn't exactly aimed at me besides the rather evident allusion. Didn't qualify a proper roasting. Thinking about it now, I'm less sure.

Next time - I'm pretty positive there's more to come - I shall do fuck-all myself too.
>> No. 12931 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 5:06 pm
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Two separate grumbles from today:-

• Four people sent emails out today begging for money to fundraise for hobbies/things they've always wanted to do in the name of charity. It's not even that large of an office.

"Please help me raise £300 so I can pay a charity to go on a skydiving event they've organised. It's for a good cause."

• In a meeting today someone actually threw their Audi car keys on the table in what I believe was an effort to inspire us to be successful. They've got the car on finance.
>> No. 12933 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 5:15 pm
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>>12931

>In a meeting today someone actually threw their Audi car keys on the table in what I believe was an effort to inspire us to be successful

I remember very fondly an area manager telling me that if I got stuck in and kept my head down, one day I could have a company car like his, a BMW 316 estate. I had a Porsche 911 at the time. The poor lad looked very upset, though it was his own fault for being an area manager that didn't seem to know how much his direct subordinates were being paid.

Mine was second hand, admittedly, but I did buy it outright. I let him assume it was brand new, obviously
>> No. 12934 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 5:47 pm
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>>12923
> Maybe stop being so cheap and shitty and people will want to work for you.

Of course, this is the dream. In reality though the management don't care about anything except keeping the client just happy enough to keep paying for bums on seats. It is a body-shop, not a product company.

I have done what I can, and I will keep doing so for now, because actually they pay _me_ probably slightly over market rate. I would either go mad or stop giving a shit if I stay for too long though, so I plan to leave this summer.
>> No. 12935 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 7:17 pm
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Someone at my work seriously and unironically wants us to do a tough mudder. It costs £38 to participate. Someone's put a poster up next to it for a night out in town the same weekend.

I got a good laugh out of that, at least.
>> No. 12936 Anonymous
31st January 2019
Thursday 7:36 pm
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>>12934
>In reality though the management don't care about anything except keeping the client just happy enough to keep paying for bums on seats.
Like I said, cheap and shitty. It's probably better for you to go sooner rather than later. Remember the company whose team was down to two? One has left, and rumour has it that the other has also handed in his notice. If you're going to need a reference in future, don't be the last one out of the door.
>> No. 12937 Anonymous
2nd February 2019
Saturday 9:02 am
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Anyone who feels the need to copy in a number of people, usually senior management and directors, on an email to an individual just for the sake of being a cunt.
>> No. 12938 Anonymous
2nd February 2019
Saturday 4:29 pm
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>>12937
I'm often one of the senior management brought into email threads like that. Love a work email cuntoff.
>> No. 12939 Anonymous
3rd February 2019
Sunday 11:00 pm
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>>12938
>>12937
I always thought the subtext of those was

"I am going to ask you to do something but I don't think you'll do it, so I'm going to copy the bossman in to make sure that you will do it."
>> No. 12940 Anonymous
4th February 2019
Monday 12:46 am
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>>12939
It is a way for those who are both stupid and weak indicate that they are so to anyone who is paying attention.
>> No. 12941 Anonymous
4th February 2019
Monday 7:07 am
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>>12938>>12939>>12940
On Friday someone at work decided to copy myself in, all of the senior management and the company directors into an email giving a trainee in my team an almighty bollocking because of something that another team hadn't done and he hadn't bothered checking up on once during the past month. We rang him up and gave him a major dressing down; the trainee has only been with us a couple of months so he was quite taken aback.

It's a massive cunt move.
>> No. 12942 Anonymous
4th February 2019
Monday 8:02 am
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>>12941
What astounds me is people like that ever think they will come off looking in any way good.
>> No. 12957 Anonymous
6th February 2019
Wednesday 11:16 pm
12957 spacer
I'm filling in an online application form. I'm invited to use the details from my previous application so I don't have to fill out the boring stuff again. It managed to transfer the reference contact details and nothing else.
>> No. 12962 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 12:41 am
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>>12957
What do you know? It gets better. If you need to add a reference you can do an address search instead of typing the whole thing in. Only you then have to type the whole thing in anyway because it doesn't copy it over to the four-line "enter the address here" part.
>> No. 12963 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 4:12 am
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>>12957>>12962
My girlfriend's recently applied for a job at our local council. The online application form was far too convoluted for the level of the role she's applied for and their recruitment process is so archaic that they're going to write out to candidates they wish to interview within four weeks of the closing date.
>> No. 12964 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 4:24 am
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>>12962

I like the ones where it asks you to upload your CV, then gives you a load of boxes to fill out that are exactly what's included in your CV.

It used to be really basic entry level jobs that made you do this, now everyone's at it. I can't even bring myself to do it, most of the time.
>> No. 12965 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 7:40 pm
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I started a new job where all my supervisors are significantly younger than me and it depresses me. They're all really nice and quite relaxed with the rules (employee handbook says no phones on shop floor, young supervisors encourage me to go on my phone to entertain myself in quiet periods; not meant to have break on short shifts but they give me 15 minutes paid break during short shifts), so I have no reason to complain, but I just feel like such a loser being lead by people younger than me.
>> No. 12966 Anonymous
8th February 2019
Friday 6:05 pm
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There's this lazy fat woman at work who is always throwing sickies or doing fuck all when she actually is in work, which she usually does wrong, but management are shit-scared to do anything about it because her husband is a HR manager; every time she is off sick she emails her line manager and also copies him in. I get the impression she's hoping they will sack her for gross incompetence because she wants to try and sue for unfair dismissal.

>>12965
It's a really hard mentality to shake out of, but comparing yourself to other people is unhealthy. There will always be people more successful than you are.
>> No. 12967 Anonymous
8th February 2019
Friday 11:17 pm
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cardiff-activity.jpg
129671296712967
Corporate away days. For fucks sake, why can't I just go to work?
>> No. 12968 Anonymous
8th February 2019
Friday 11:25 pm
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>>12967

I hate this shit but it does unironically work and for some reason it makes you more likely to relate to your boss when you've boss been stuck half way up a tree waiting to go on the zipwire.

I remember one job, when I started coincided with the team away day, we just got loads of nice food away from the office in a rented building and played Cards Against Humanity. It was absolutely brilliant because it just removed all awkwardness and formalities almost instantly and we all had a laugh and felt more at ease.

I also like a free lunch and a day out of the office so maybe I'm biased.
>> No. 12995 Anonymous
10th February 2019
Sunday 5:15 pm
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>>12967
>>12968

The part I don't understand is what happened to just going for a good booze up with your colleagues? If you are all something approaching actual mates and you've watched the lads puke against a wall and seen the lasses fannys hanging out of Primark knickers there's no need for mountaineering or fucking orienteering or whatever.
>> No. 13027 Anonymous
10th February 2019
Sunday 8:14 pm
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>>12995

There's certainly a lot of bonding to be had on a staff pissup. Even the management being there can be a good thing, though I reckon if you're a manager you need to have about four drinks and fuck off at 11, really.

Early in my career our area manager came out with us for our Christmas pissup. He was a good bloke but ultimately ended up surrounded by people complaining about their site at 2am, I remember distinctly standing across from him and laughing at him as he looked at me for help. He ended up sleeping on the floor of a flat shared by like four of the students that worked with us part time.
>> No. 13047 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 1:45 am
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I identified a problem with a clients EPOS months ago and they appeared to take it seriously but never actually did anything about it - I just got a panicked email about exactly that and they've worked out the thing I predicted would happen has absolutely been happening. Some people are beyond help aren't they?

Don't give a solid 40% of your staff the privileges to alter the prices of stuff in your till, that's all I can say.
>> No. 13048 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 5:49 pm
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anybody else here an eternal neet?
>> No. 13049 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 5:52 pm
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>>13048

I'm not, though my cousin is. I know this is probably a daft question but don't you get bored? Not so much with not working, but with not really having money to go do stuff.
>> No. 13050 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 6:00 pm
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>>13049

I have money to do stuff and I do stuff with clever budgeting
>> No. 13051 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 7:14 pm
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A recurring theme across every office I work in is no matter where I choose to sit somebody will then start trying to sit in that place.

I make a conscious effort in this hotdesk (where we hotdesk but everybody sits in the same place every day) world to pick the least desirable seat I can find, the one where nobody sits for weeks on end, facing no window, away from the aircon, you get the deal.

I guarantee after about two weeks of me sitting there somebody will move a monitor and say they have to have that seat despite being perfectly happy for however long they were before I came.

Why?
>> No. 13052 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 7:24 pm
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>>13051
Perhaps you work in an industry that often features absolute cunts?
>> No. 13053 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 7:37 pm
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>>13051
I don't understand why hotdesking is a thing.
>> No. 13054 Anonymous
18th February 2019
Monday 7:49 pm
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>>13051
>>13053
It never works - for the last 10 years I have worked for companies that "hot desk" and without exception, everyone sits in the same place every day, for good reason. If it means I can slope off with my laptop and find a place to hide on a sofa and do some actual work, I'm all for it, but the rest of the time, I (and everyone else) sits in the same place.

It's often used as an excuse to have an office that's actually too small for the number of staff you have - and that's a cast iron reason to work at home more (which such companies most usually support), but nobody moves around the office and changes places, like you might think.
>> No. 13055 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 9:01 am
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I'M GOING TO USE THE LAST OF THE WATER IN THE COOLER BUT I'M NOT GOING TO REPLACE THE EMPTY BOTTLE.
>> No. 13056 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 9:41 am
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>>13054
At one place I worked, they set a target of 8 desks for every 10 people. The reasoning for this was that lots of people were part-time or away from their desks for extended periods. This works across the organisation, but someone thought it was a good idea to apply it to each team, regardless of the work they do. This meant that when our heavily desk-based mostly full-time division was moved into head office, they insisted we could only have 8 desks for every 10 people we had. This meant that our dedicated hot desk bank was filled every single day with the people we didn't have space to assign desks to, defeating the purpose of having a hot desk bank to begin with.
>> No. 13057 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 8:45 pm
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This is food service so a horrible nightmare of overwork is to be expected, but it still gets on my tits when I get handed all the pans from the front, 10 minutes before closing the shop, and someone deigns to visit the one-man kitchen 5 minutes later to figure out why I'm taking so long.

It's because it's not a five minute job pal that's why. Half the dishes are sticky and baked in. This is after I've had to filter both the fry vats and tidy the kitchen, after having had to prep all the veggies for the next day while keeping the fried food going for the front the whole day.

I know I should probably get out of the kitchen if I can't take the heat but I'm keeping at it anyway because, for some reason, they can't hold on to staff! And there's no way I'd be able to beat the cash I'm making. I'm one of two kitchen assistants at the moment, for two stores that are open 7 days a week for at least 9 hours. The third assistant quit this Monday when he realised he had no days off this week.
>> No. 13058 Anonymous
20th February 2019
Wednesday 2:26 am
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>>13057

>but it still gets on my tits when I get handed all the pans from the front, 10 minutes before closing the shop

This happens in more places than it should and it's fucking daft. It's usually possible to explain, slowly and carefully, that if they could just give you pans as and when they're done rather than leaving them in a big cunting pile you'd be done a lot sooner.

When I was in that position I'd just barge in with a big bus tray and grab whatever they weren't using quite frequently. Though it doesn't sound like you can do that or you probably would.

Also depending how new you are and how shit the place is, they might just be surprised by the fact that you're actually trying to clean something properly.
>> No. 13060 Anonymous
20th February 2019
Wednesday 8:57 pm
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These days I often find I get hunger pangs in the morning sometime around 10 or 11. It probably wouldn't matter so much if I was doing an early shift but I don't have to be in until 10 and can't exactly go to lunch an hour after I get in.

So obviously I do the sensible thing and pay outrageous prices for cake when I go on break.
>> No. 13061 Anonymous
20th February 2019
Wednesday 9:28 pm
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>>13060
Take in some form of snack? I generally have nuts, grapes or an apple mid-morning.
>> No. 13062 Anonymous
22nd February 2019
Friday 5:18 pm
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>>13049
> but with not really having money to go do stuff.
Judging from my own experience way back, I don't need much.
There's a certain threshold after which raises are nice and still don't mean qualitative increase as I can't buy a flat with that salary in reasonable timeframe, nor can I stockpile it somehow that'll at least preserve the value.
That's one reason why I kept working at one place that offered 3 to 5 days off per week, having been offered another position which included more money but also the tedium of 9-to-5.
>> No. 13063 Anonymous
8th March 2019
Friday 12:35 pm
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I've found myself in the middle of a shitstorm where something has gone wrong; nobody is taking responsibility for it and they're blaming others people for it. I'm finding it really, really hard to give a shit about it but they won't stop going on.
>> No. 13064 Anonymous
8th March 2019
Friday 5:49 pm
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>>13063
Is that you Prime Minister?
>> No. 13065 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 5:38 pm
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"I don't shop around for the cheapest petrol because I always put a tenner in wherever I go."
>> No. 13066 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 5:54 pm
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>>13065

People think I'm mental for just filling up wherever I happen to be, and not really looking at the price - even if the price difference is 10p (it's usually only 2 or 3) then if I fill my tank up I might have saved six quid on a tank by going to the Asda on the other side of town vs. the Shell. If it takes me 20 minutes to get there then it's hardly a saving at all, if you value your time.
>> No. 13067 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 6:20 pm
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>>13066
There's merit in that line of reasoning, particularly if it is a long journey to a cheaper petrol station. However, stating that you don't shop around because you always top it up by the same monetary amount is all kinds of stupid.
>> No. 13068 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 7:06 pm
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>>13067

A 50% extra free offer sells better than a 1/3 discount. Most people are functionally innumerate.
>> No. 13069 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 2:18 pm
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I'm starting to worry that I am becoming the workplace annoyance. Apart from someone being a bit of an overly judgemental cow whilst also being quite incompetent at her own job I don't really have any complaints.

There's going to be a couple of junior vacancies within my team at the end of the year; there's going to be at least six internal applicants and I have the final say. One of them sent out an email today and I responded to them pointing out all of the grammatical flaws and telling them to be better if they want any chance of joining my team. I'm clearly dicking around, but I'm probably also being a dick.
>> No. 13070 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 3:22 pm
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>>13069

>I'm clearly dicking around

I suspect that's what most annoying people think. It's pretty hard to get across your intent in an email as well, they almost certainly think you're an arsehole.
>> No. 13071 Anonymous
23rd March 2019
Saturday 3:33 pm
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There is this cunt who's onto fucking up the schedule for everyone. Yesterday he literally exploded, hysterically yelling that the March schedule is utter shite - after about 2/3 of March has passed, right. He then proceeded with 'correcting' it - which ironically included putting additional workdays for everyone except himself. After being told to fuck off with that by everybody else he decided to fiddle with the April schedule and made a 'better' version - again, with more workdays added.

My only consolation is that so far he's been a tiny minority that wants these changes. Unfortunately, apathy is big here so instead of telling the sod to piss off one more time the folks might just coast along and accept the alterations just so he would cease whining. I have no bloody idea what's in it for this person - he surely won't get paid more for self-afflicted overtime. Others have noted this as well, responding, 'If you like to work that much, we can give you more worktime'.

Utter bollocks.
>> No. 13072 Anonymous
23rd March 2019
Saturday 6:20 pm
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>>13071
Unionise, motherfucker.
>> No. 13073 Anonymous
23rd March 2019
Saturday 6:41 pm
13073 spacer
>>13071
>yesterday he literally exploded

Problem solved then.
>> No. 13074 Anonymous
23rd March 2019
Saturday 7:21 pm
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>>13073
Mirth.
>> No. 13075 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 12:40 pm
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>>13073
I wish.
>> No. 13076 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 4:10 pm
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More kitchen complaints.

So a month ago I casually asked my manager if I'd be alright to get a longer weekend this coming weekend, and he said sure that will probably be fine. So I went home, checked train times and things, and followed up a few days later.
Messaged him the dates, which he read, but didn't respond to. So I asked him again in person and he still said it would be ok. I specifically waited to make sure all the staff (that I knew of) would be back from their own holidays so there would be someone to cover me.

So on the wild assumption that it would be ok because I got the ok from the boss I booked my trains.
Lo and behold, it comes to yesterday and he asks me 'when do you want to work this week?' and when I said 'I can't do Friday' he tries to get me to work Friday.
Another worker was taking holiday this week, something that would have been great to know any of the times I'd asked prior about the days off.
Lazy fucker didn't even check if it was a good idea to let me have the weekend off, didn't think 'maybe the guy is planning something in advance, so best make sure he can actually take this time off', didn't know the rough holiday schedule for a staff of fewer than 20 people (only six of which are the kitchen staff & therefore important) and then when he asked me to work this Friday made out like he only vaguely remembered me enquiring about it the other week. The timetable and staffing hadn't changed at all, he's just a twat.

At least, after more calmly elucidating the prior points, he said he'll actually try and work something out.

Now I've never been a manager anywhere before, the most I've done is work as a treasurer at a uni club, but even then I manage to keep a rough idea of our finances, who owes money and from when whilst I also have a part time job and a ton of uni coursework.
>> No. 13077 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 4:12 pm
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>>13076

Addendum: I used to work at McDonalds which is a fantastic part time job even if it's vaguely embarrassing. Has a proper scheduling system, enough staff to cover mostly anything and lets you work seasonally most of the time.
>> No. 13078 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 5:15 pm
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>>13077
Seconded. I've had a few shit jobs in my time, but that wasn't one of them. The pay was half-decent, breaks were strictly enforced (as in you would definitely get one), and by and large if you asked not to be rostered for a given day you wouldn't be. They put a lot of work into sales projections and matching staffing levels.
>> No. 13079 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 5:15 pm
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>>13076

This isn't a defence of your manager, he's still a twat, take that from a professional. But people managing food places are typically used to scheduling for foreigners who don't give a shit when they work/would rather work than not, that's how they end up so clueless about rotas and stuff, they just draw one up and assume the 6 guys who probably mostly all live together will either be fine with the shifts or change them amongst themselves. Even 'good' managers usually expect kitchen staff to just never have any plans, because they don't see us as human.

When I had a boss like that I just ended up doing the rota for him, though I wouldn't recommend that route. You just have to be annoying enough about their shite rotas that it becomes easier to spend the 15 minutes it takes to actually think about it properly.

I wish we had a proper law in place about how much notice an employer has to give you for work, that always seems to go overlooked. I think it should be a full week at least.
>> No. 13080 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 5:21 pm
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>>13079
AIUI, if you're taking time off, they need to give you at least that in notice if they expect you to work. If you're taking a three-day weekend, and weekends are days you might normally expect to work, if they've agreed to it they need to give you at least three days' notice to get you to work.
>> No. 13081 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 7:12 pm
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>>13079

>used to scheduling for foreigners

Yeah that's mostly it.

He often jokes about wishing he had more of the guy that works in kitchen no.1, 7 days a week for 9-11 hours. Which I'm sure would be good but the guy's earning probably at least 3x as much money as he could have done before he moved over (and he moved over just to work) so he's got some actual motivation.

Oh and this doesn't mention how I applied to one store and found out they're opening another store. First store was open 11 - 7 most days, new one 10 - 9. So I got 12 hour shifts without even expecting (or asking) for them. The difference those few hours make in getting things done before and after work is massive.

>When I had a boss like that I just ended up doing the rota for him

I'd be tempted, don't think it'd go down well.
At least I can just argue/reason with him, I know for a fact he hates hiring people because it's too much work so I've got some leverage, and I'm a good employee (I turn up on time, don't no-show and get the job done properly). I just also have a life outside work.
>> No. 13082 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 7:41 pm
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>>13076 >>13077 >>13078 >>13079 >>13081

Incredible. So after talking with him and agreeing with him again yesterday that it should be fine for me to get Friday off he's put me on the timetable for Friday.
I'm more annoyed that he wouldn't just say 'no this is not possible', fucks sake.
>> No. 13083 Anonymous
26th March 2019
Tuesday 5:48 pm
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I can't work out if the fat kid at work vaguely smells of piss or vaguely smells of popcorn.
>> No. 13084 Anonymous
26th March 2019
Tuesday 6:25 pm
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>>13083
I woke a couple of times last week smelling popcorn. I hope I wasn't getting molested by fat lads in my sleep, that would really bother me.
>> No. 13108 Anonymous
17th April 2019
Wednesday 4:47 pm
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Someone sincerely talked about "being good corporate citizens of [our employer]" today. I know it kind of was a business strategy meaning, but that doesn't mean you've got to use language like that.

>>13084
You probably just dribbled a bit of piss in your sleep.
>> No. 13109 Anonymous
18th April 2019
Thursday 9:58 am
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>>13108
It sounds awful whatever its bloody meaning is. The sugar coating probably makes it even worse.
>> No. 13110 Anonymous
24th April 2019
Wednesday 9:52 am
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THERE'S A WASP IN THE OFFICE. BETTER STARE AT IT AND COMMENT ABOUT IT FOR HALF AN HOUR.
>> No. 13112 Anonymous
25th April 2019
Thursday 5:03 pm
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>>13110
What else should we do, I had a butane torch with me but the bloody thing was sitting on some pile of documents that nobody wanted to sacrifice.
>> No. 13116 Anonymous
1st May 2019
Wednesday 6:21 pm
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I genuinely think my colleagues are great and I really like them but it does annoy me when people say I won't be able to eat as much as I do and stay trim when my metabolism catches up like theirs, conveniently forgetting I run several miles several times a week and hit the gym.
>> No. 13117 Anonymous
1st May 2019
Wednesday 7:06 pm
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I hate how workplaces all say they have a subsidised canteen but in reality you end up paying out the arse for a very limited choice. Of course, the moment they do have something good there is a queue out the door and you have to spend your lunch in line.

Friday's especially gets pretty dire in my office unless you like eating generic battered fish every week.
>> No. 13118 Anonymous
1st May 2019
Wednesday 7:23 pm
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>>13117
My work has a free drinks machine, it's a step up from my previous places.
>> No. 13119 Anonymous
1st May 2019
Wednesday 8:04 pm
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>>13117

I currently work airside at an airport and although there's a coffee machine that will give you a fucking awful coffee for 25p, the proper vending machines with good stuff in them are just as expensive as the passenger lounge ones. So you have to pay about 90p for a can of Fanta, and obviously you can't even bring your own in past security.

They don't even bat an eye at a huge tupperware full of pasta or whatever, though, so if you ever want to smuggle drugs into an airport, just cook them into your spaghetti.
>> No. 13120 Anonymous
4th May 2019
Saturday 1:33 pm
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>>13118

Ours has been out of service for about 8 months.
>> No. 13121 Anonymous
4th May 2019
Saturday 3:35 pm
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>>13118
Mine has a water cooler and a kettle. That's it. Quite often they run out of milk due to a lack of planning.

The only place I've worked with a staff canteen was Tesco, but that was hardly ever open so usually your only options were the likes of not very reasonably priced Pot Noodles.
>> No. 13122 Anonymous
7th May 2019
Tuesday 6:56 pm
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I recently jumped head first into a new career in a new industry. I still have a business ticking over in the old industry (cheflad) and I've not felt so engaged in my work in a long time, and have very obvious potential to climb the ladder here quickly. The annoyance is that all my new colleagues don't understand why I've done what I've done and clearly think I'm mental. I don't think I can take hearing "eh? but why?" many more times, let alone the looks of bewilderment I get when I explain I just got bored of my old job. I wish I'd just told everyone I'd been on the dole for fifteen years.
>> No. 13123 Anonymous
12th May 2019
Sunday 7:03 pm
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Tomorrow at about 11am I will do what i always do and dive into a 100% fruit/nut bar as a healthy way to stave off my hunger cravings until lunch.

Like clockwork somebody will comment on me 'opening his candy bar' as an excuse to dive into the communal office snacks and down a few Jaffa Cakes.
>> No. 13124 Anonymous
12th May 2019
Sunday 7:21 pm
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>>13123

Just so we're clear, you're not talking about a fruit n' nut chocolate bar?
>> No. 13125 Anonymous
12th May 2019
Sunday 7:24 pm
13125 spacer
>>13123
I fucking hate the word "candy". I can't help but hear it in a comically exaggerated American accent in my head.
>> No. 13126 Anonymous
12th May 2019
Sunday 8:02 pm
13126 spacer
>>13123
This sounds like the build up to someone going postal.
>> No. 13127 Anonymous
12th May 2019
Sunday 8:07 pm
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>>13124
Raisins with my chocolate, it's healthy and a snack. What's wrong with that.

just fruit and nuts crushed into a bar

>>13126
I just hate people using me as an excuse to do something. If they want to eat the biscuits just eat them. I hate this pretence that somebody doing something normal has 'forced' them or the whole thing where I bring in a breakfast roll and they pretend that they are fighting an inner battle not to go get one when we all know they will.
>> No. 13128 Anonymous
13th May 2019
Monday 1:05 pm
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There's a woman who constantly takes up about a fifth of the fridge because she'll bring in a massive bag for life full of food to sustain her during the three days per week she actually works. For some reason, I'm assuming because she's elderly and has been here longer than anyone else, most people see this as one of the 'cute' things she does.
>> No. 13424 Anonymous
24th June 2020
Wednesday 2:23 pm
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MODS = GODS
>> No. 13425 Anonymous
24th June 2020
Wednesday 2:33 pm
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Christ, has it really been over a year since this thread was locked? The days drag on, but the years fly by.
>> No. 13426 Anonymous
24th June 2020
Wednesday 2:39 pm
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Someone is retiring at the end of next month. Due to covid the person organising the presents has sent an email round saying if you want to contribute let her know and she'll send you her bank details. She didn't Bcc that email so everyone who is contributing knows who isn't, which has led to an almighty shitstorm.

"Look at that tight cunt, he's sat near Linda for five years and he's not putting a penny in. When he leaves he's going to get fuck all from me. Tight bastard."
>> No. 13427 Anonymous
24th June 2020
Wednesday 3:07 pm
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Somehow, in a highly technical department where at least 10% of people have PhDs in STEM fields, and most are at least Master's level educated, some people still cannot tell the difference between the "Reply" and "Reply All" buttons.
>> No. 13429 Anonymous
24th June 2020
Wednesday 4:22 pm
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>>13427

I was reminiscing the other day about how I had to explain to some cunt with a masters degree in computer science what a TCP port was and how its being filtered might lead to my VPN not connecting. Good times in awful places.
>> No. 13430 Anonymous
24th June 2020
Wednesday 4:38 pm
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>>13427
I can't cope with people who see an email hit about 1000 people then reply all 'please take me off this list.'
>> No. 13431 Anonymous
24th June 2020
Wednesday 5:21 pm
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>>13427
I think a lot of people who do this know they're being a dick, a bit like when the smart kid in school starts playing up because the work isn't challenging enough for them.
>> No. 13432 Anonymous
25th June 2020
Thursday 9:59 pm
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>>13426
People with that attitude should be treated like racists and sexists. They should never be allowed to work anywhere again until they sort their shit out.
>> No. 13433 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 10:48 am
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My colleagues are all screaming self defecating retards.

We've been working a 4/7 week due to covid, and while it leads to longer working days, the work life balance is vastly superior. That extra day off is just so much more valuable than you'd ever think.

But niw they're all saying "oooh I hope we can go back to normal soon, I feel like I don't have an evening!" as though an extra hour you'll probably spend most of sat in fucking traffic at rush hour anyway is in any way comparable to an entire extra day off.

Fucking morons. Absolute dribbling fucking mongiloids. I hope management tells them to suck it.
>> No. 13435 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 11:42 am
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>>13433
I worked 7am-5pm/4 for a year. As brutal as the getting up was, I had just as much evening as anyone else, and the Fridays off were so useful for just sorting out Life Shit, like going to the bank or doctors or whatever without the faff of having to time it around work.
>> No. 13437 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 12:28 pm
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Three day weekends make a huge difference to my quality of life. Like the other lad says, doing all your little jobs, takinga day to get into the weekend all helps massively.
>> No. 13438 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 12:33 pm
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>>13433

People at my last workplace complained themselves out of a three on, four off schedule before I started, apparently preferring the half days of six on, two off. Absolute fucking madness.
>> No. 13439 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 1:42 pm
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>>13433
>But niw they're all saying "oooh I hope we can go back to normal soon, I feel like I don't have an evening!" as though an extra hour you'll probably spend most of sat in fucking traffic at rush hour anyway is in any way comparable to an entire extra day off.

I'm generally working 8 - 3:30 at home and the extra time on an evening is brilliant, but that's without having to commute and I'd much rather work a bit longer to have Fridays off. I think the local council has it right with flexitime; do about an hour extra a day and you'll build up two days off every three weeks.
>> No. 13440 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 2:14 pm
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>>13434
What does she mean by 'whiteness'?
>> No. 13441 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 2:26 pm
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>>13440
>>13434
I Googled it for you, lads.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiteness_studies#Definitions_of_whiteness

She's not advocating genocide, you dolt. She just wants us to stop seeing 'white people' as a category, and start being racist against the Irish, Welsh, Italians, and so on again.
>> No. 13442 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 5:33 pm
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>>13441
I've been hesitant to say this but race as a 'social construct' makes sense in these terms. I consider myself 'white' but i'm pretty olive colour - apparently half of my genes are gypsie, mediteranian or something. But I've always been 'white' and, where i come from, noone but a geneticist would've bothered to question that.
Ofcourse the same can be said of 'black', when in reality it's kenyan, nigerian, jamacian etc. Although thinking about that they're nations rather than races - but you get my point. The retoric seems onesided however - It's as though 'whites' are an easier target.

I'm sure there is a 'white' race, be it arian or whatever, but who of us common folk can actually qualify for the term? Which makes me wonder, if the public comes to believe there is no 'white' what happens with the Royal families of Europe?
>> No. 13443 Anonymous
26th June 2020
Friday 6:44 pm
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>>13442

The thing is it all started of pretty sensibly about 15-20 or so years ago. The way you're describing it is more in line with what it meant when academics were punting it around in a spitballing, brainstormy kind of way, as they do.

Where it all went wrong is when a bunch of teenagers on well known social media outlets picked up on it, misunderstood what it meant, and ran with it in a feedback loop that divorced the concept from rationality or any basic applicability to observable reality in a handful of years.

Now, "X is a social construct" has become a perverted doublethink that more or less means X is something that simultaneously doesn't actually exist, yet must continuously be used as the frame of reference and context for judging anything about a person's actions, experiences, expectations, or personality.
>> No. 13451 Anonymous
6th July 2020
Monday 10:04 am
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Regularly having to have meetings on MS Teams with someone pushing 60 who repeatedly clicks the screen share button but doesn't select which screen he wants to share and then complains it isn't working.
>> No. 13452 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 12:38 pm
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Anyone who prints out a PDF, scans in the printout and then saves that to the system instead of the original document.
>> No. 13453 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 1:04 pm
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>>13452
My company is Chinese-owned and their office insists we do this with all our paperwork. Management have to constantly battle with them to try and stop us wasting time on these superfluous processes. Every small victory saves us loads of time. And they weren't even just documents that we were scanning in, they were photos of other documents. So China were looking at scans of printouts of photos of printouts. They were completely illegible so it was a whole other layer of pointlessness.
>> No. 13454 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 1:38 pm
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>>13453
At my work it's just sheer ineptitude. The admin staff have been shown how you can print to PDF if they need to save a copy of something online to the system, like an Equifax report, but a number of them still print it out and scan that instead. It's always scanned in at a ridiculously low quality too.
>> No. 13455 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 2:11 pm
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>>13454 I've seen this too, too many times.
As far as I can see, if your (shitty non-)job requires you to move documents around, there's a school of though that says it'd damn well generate a pile of paper, or nothing really happened.
Of course, none of this applies to me today, as I've got my manufacturing hat on. All hail manufacturing. Today, I shall mostly be moving about 10 grams of components onto circuit boards. Mining, it ain't.
>> No. 13456 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 2:53 pm
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>>It's always scanned in at a ridiculously low quality too.

Given how stroppy multifunction printers are about all sorts of unimportant things when you're internally screaming 'just print the motherfucking thing, I don't care if yellow's getting a bit low, it's a fucking monochrome diagram and the only reason you're low on yellow is because of your fucking citizen tracking dots', you'd think they'd pipe up when some dolt engages the 'scan in potato quality' mode.
But no.

Hmm, can I have 'all paper handling machines and their drivers' as my workplace annoyance? Not much else really pisses me off.
>> No. 13457 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 3:01 pm
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>>13456
If you think the yellow is frustrating, wait until you hear about the cyan. Apparently some printers add a bit of blue to your black to make it more black.
>> No. 13458 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 3:19 pm
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>>13457
It tends to be a mixture of all four.
>> No. 13459 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 3:23 pm
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>>13458 A chap could get quite cynical given the price of toner.
>> No. 13460 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 3:46 pm
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>>13458
That's if you do it deliberately. If you just print "true black", some printers will add a bit of cyan without telling you, and before you know it your cyan runs empty. Particularly pernicious with inkjets given how if your printer doesn't have separates you've got to throw away what is possibly the second most expensive liquid on the planet behind pedigree horse spunk.
>> No. 13461 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 4:02 pm
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>>13460

Get a cheap mono laser for your day-to-day printing. If you print a lot of photos get an inkjet with a continuous ink system, otherwise just get your prints done by Snapfish or whoever.
>> No. 13462 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 4:13 pm
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>>13459
I'd be careful making statements like that if I were you. You don't want to get on the wrong side of Big Ink.
>> No. 13463 Anonymous
13th July 2020
Monday 4:15 pm
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>>13461
I got an ancient mono laser printer for my parents off Freecycle about 10 years ago now, paid £40 for a new toner cartridge and it still prints first time every time on that same cartridge today.
>> No. 13477 Anonymous
23rd July 2020
Thursday 9:40 pm
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Being in a Slack channel with people who aren't fully computer literate.

Almost every time someone makes a post around half of the people responding manage to reply to that thread. However the other half create a new thread instead of directly replying and before you know it one post has resulted in about half a dozen separate threads relating to it, often with several replies on each of them, and it looks a fucking mess.
>> No. 13478 Anonymous
24th July 2020
Friday 7:46 pm
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>>13477
Threading is the worst bit of Slack; the only shit bit of Slack if I am honest.
>> No. 13479 Anonymous
24th July 2020
Friday 7:52 pm
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>>13477
Well I, for one, don't even own a Slack.
>> No. 13480 Anonymous
24th July 2020
Friday 10:19 pm
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>>13477
Welcome to my hell. Considering I am 41 and I am at least 15 years younger than the majority of my colleagues. They've all been using computers for work for at least 20 years, but fuck me running are they incompetent. Taking them out of an office environment has exacerbated this a hell of a lot.

The same kind of people who book in for meetings just to tell you something now do it on zoom. I must have been sent an invite to a zoom meeting that has nothing to do with my department once a week since April. Before when it seemed rude to just walk out of meetings in person I will just disconnect all my office facades of giving a shit have gone since working predominantly from home.
>> No. 13486 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 12:50 pm
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>>13480
I find people like that know how to work "The" computer.
The one they have at work. But take them away and into any other modern tech situation and they're baffled.
>> No. 13487 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 2:19 pm
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>>13480

Thing is I used to sneer at old people like this, when I was a twenty-something working in a tech-adjacent job, and it was self evident to me that old people are not incapable, they're just unwilling to learn.

As I approach middle age myself, I understand exactly why they are so unwilling to learn- Because it's all a load of bollocks and I liked things better how they were. I still yearn for the days of things like MSN messenger and IRC channels, the new age of Discord and snapchat is not just new and scary, but I have a genuine feeling of contempt towards it because it has turned me into a sort of tech pikey.

I'm the outsider now, whereas I was once a native.
>> No. 13488 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 2:24 pm
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>>13487
>> No. 13489 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 2:32 pm
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>>13488

Somebody posts this at least once a month. It's getting tedious.

.gs in general is of an age range where we are all starting to truly appreciate the profundity of that particular quote, so it's not as clever as it once was to drop the picture every time.
>> No. 13490 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 2:45 pm
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>>13489
I've only just noticed Buscemi's excellent shirt.
>> No. 13491 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 2:46 pm
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>>13489
I, for one, don't like images being posted on an imageboard.
>> No. 13492 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 2:55 pm
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>>13489
It's a couple of screencaps from The Simpsons, it isn't supposed to be "profound".
>> No. 13493 Anonymous
11th August 2020
Tuesday 5:36 pm
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I've been on one of these "reverse job search" sites for almost 6 weeks and haven't had a single approach. I'm starting to think that maybe they're just data harvesting exercises.
>> No. 13494 Anonymous
11th August 2020
Tuesday 8:38 pm
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I'm not entirely sure if this is a workplace annoyance or not. At work you used to be responsible for managing your own workload but they changed this about a month back so that now everyone gets their cases allocated for them on a weekly basis, including a timescale of how long each case should take depending on its complexity.

I'm generally one of the most productive people within my team but ever since they introduced this I've found myself tossing things off a lot; if they think a case will take me a full day but I've finished it two hours quicker than that then I'll usually spend those final two hours dicking around and not doing any work, although I'll still keep an eye on my inbox, until it's time for me to finish for the day. There's also been a couple of occasions where I've finished a big case half a day early so I've gone out for a walk or something like that.

I do still ask for additional work now and then if I've completed everything I've done so as to still look like I'm working hard, but I've definitely tossed off at least half a week or so over the last month purely because they've brought this in.
>> No. 13495 Anonymous
11th August 2020
Tuesday 10:01 pm
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>>13494
As long as there's no complaints about the quality of your work, then it doesn't matter. The few days a week of work at home have for the most part been delightful. Even the couple of days when I will have to do site visits and client meetings have been a lot easier.

Spending my lunch time letting my little daughter have run around in the park, getting cooed at by the old biddies is infinitely better than a meal deal at my desk.
>> No. 13496 Anonymous
11th August 2020
Tuesday 10:05 pm
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>>13495
>is infinitely better than a meal deal at my desk

A lot of people feel the same way - the virus has done more for flexible working than we could ever have dreamed.

I am simply never going back to commuting into London every day.
>> No. 13497 Anonymous
11th August 2020
Tuesday 10:14 pm
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>>13495
I only take 10/20 minutes so I can finish earlier. Working 8 to about 3:15 is optimal for me.
>> No. 13511 Anonymous
20th August 2020
Thursday 10:23 pm
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We've got a new email signature at work. I've had to remotely help six people update theirs because they were struggling with copy and pasting the template and then adding in their personal details, despite the fact they'd been provided with a PDF document showing how to do it step-by-step. One of them had spent over an hour and a half on it and it was still wrong. Another managed to save her Hotmail address rather than her work email. I do not work in the IT department.
>> No. 13512 Anonymous
20th August 2020
Thursday 11:22 pm
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>>13511
I loathe email signatures and resolutely delete mine every time Outlook adds a new one.

Also, all the legal disclaimers that companies add are completely unenforceable and legally bullshit.
>> No. 13529 Anonymous
7th September 2020
Monday 11:08 am
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Management always schedule IT upgrades to be done during work hours. It's alright dealing with downtime whilst at home but I can't see how stopping dozens of people from being able to really get on with anything is more cost effective than paying the IT guys a bit of overtime to do it in the evening.
>> No. 13530 Anonymous
7th September 2020
Monday 11:16 am
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>>13529
>than paying the IT guys a bit of overtime

a) They're probably not paying the IT guys any overtime and b) it's easier to test upgrades and find out that it hasn't worked, when everyone is in the office.
>> No. 13531 Anonymous
7th September 2020
Monday 11:35 am
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>>13530
The company I worked for before used the exact same systems and all IT updates were done out of hours without a hitch. By my reckoning the upgrades this morning will have cost at least 150 man hours in lost work.
>> No. 13532 Anonymous
9th September 2020
Wednesday 10:15 am
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There's someone in my team who just absolutely loves the sound of their own voice; it's not just that they will ramble on, they'll actively find excuses to ramble on and on and on, spending 20 minutes to make a 30 second point.
>> No. 13533 Anonymous
9th September 2020
Wednesday 9:22 pm
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>>13512

I'm tempted to "forget" to add my organisation's stipulated email footer, just because I work on a shared inbox, and people tend to type my name from the footer in the To: field instead of hitting reply and maintaining the email chain. Then they get all pissy when I don't reply to them within a minute because the important stuff should go to the shared inbox, which is prioritised accordingly. They seem to be under the impression that doing it the other way is some sort of shortcut to a blue chip personal service. What I actually do is snarl and ignore it until I've cleared my quota.

Side rant: I understand that Learning & Development is subset of HR in most organisations, but where I work it's important enough to be a separate department. This distinction is made clear wherever possible - on the intranet, the shared inbox email address, and every time I answer the phone - so how the fuck do I keep getting queries about Payroll, Temporary Staffing, Hierarchy changes and even IT helpdesk requests?
>> No. 13534 Anonymous
10th September 2020
Thursday 8:23 am
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>>13532 Just talk over the fucker. Nobody will complain.
>> No. 13554 Anonymous
28th October 2020
Wednesday 2:10 pm
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A couple of people I was quite close with have left my employer fairly recently. I know the dynamics within a team change as people come and go but I'm feeling a little bit bored and isolated; I kept in contact with these two while we're working from home far more than anyone else.

I'm going to miss spending afternoons doing bits of trivia like trying to name every country in each continent or naming as many national flags without primary colours as we could.
>> No. 13555 Anonymous
28th October 2020
Wednesday 9:37 pm
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>>13554
I agree - the impact of people leaving is hardly ever the work they do, but the loss of their social input into a team. I'm also noticing this a lot at work at the moment, as we're making a bunch of people redundant.

Some people find the idea controversial, but I don't - some of the best friends you can make are the people you work with.
>> No. 13556 Anonymous
28th October 2020
Wednesday 9:44 pm
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>>13554

>I'm going to miss spending afternoons doing bits of trivia like trying to name every country in each continent or naming as many national flags without primary colours as we could.

This may go some way to explaining why we have the lowest per-worker productivity in Western Europe.
>> No. 13557 Anonymous
28th October 2020
Wednesday 10:23 pm
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>>13555
>Some people find the idea controversial, but I don't - some of the best friends you can make are the people you work with.

There's people I still keep in touch with that I haven't worked with for years but I've noticed with a few others there can be a large vacuum once one of us leaves because work, especially letting off steam about it, was the main thing we bonded over.

>>13556
It's possible to do two things at once. It doesn't take much brain activity to, say, debate whether São Tomé and Príncipe is part of Africa or in the Caribbean.
>> No. 13558 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 5:29 pm
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Unsolicited political discussions. Particularly ones that begin with "If Biden wins that'll be the end of free speech as we know it."
>> No. 13559 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 5:40 pm
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>>13558
I love it when someone says something (stupid) like that - reveals everything you need to know.
>> No. 13560 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 5:51 pm
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>>13559
He talked about, completely unprompted, how people on the left label people who disagree with them as far-right Nazis and fascists when Hitler wasn't far-right because he positioned the Nazi party straight down the middle, Trump's achievements and how Biden doesn't stand for anything, voter fraud, the IRA and the Barbary slave trade, amongst other things.
>> No. 13561 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 5:57 pm
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>>13560

Corriganlad, is that you?
>> No. 13562 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 6:03 pm
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>>13561
I miss Corriganlad. I wonder whatever happened to him.
>> No. 13563 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 7:03 pm
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>>13560
I once worked at a company where a member of my team admitted to voting for the BritNatParty ("for a laugh") which is helpfully wordfiltered here to BNP. Subsequent chat meant we discovered he actually supported them. About six months later I made him redundant, for a laugh.
>> No. 13564 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 7:04 pm
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>>13563
s/BNP/Gay Racists/
>> No. 13565 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 7:10 pm
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>>13558
The thing that annoys me about political discussions is they're all just so...political. Which is probably a sin of the world we now live in. Discussing underlying policy, even on a surface level, can be much more stimulating and where people can sometimes get away with being idiots. "What's your dream constitutional reform?" is a question everyone loves even if they don't know the answer and problems like intergenerational wealth aren't actually controversial as think when approach from a cold distance.

Yesterday I turned a tedious discussion over the potential of a Trump win to the Irish border and broader economic concerns. I felt it was much more engaging because at least there's underlying facts and you can look at problems from a clinical distance. It's also related to how you deal with a conspiracy theorist by asking them to explain it all in greater detail - there soon comes a moment where they realise they don't know what they're talking about and it all sounds pretty mad.
>> No. 13566 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 8:50 pm
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>>13563

As a staunch leftist I strongly condemn your actions.
>> No. 13567 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 9:38 pm
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>>13563

Dick move. Why would you do that?
>> No. 13568 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 10:28 pm
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>>13567

Because you can vote for whoever you like as long as you don't vote for who I don't like, probably.
>> No. 13569 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 11:26 pm
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>>13567
I can't speak for him, but I expect everyone on my team to acknowledge everyone else on the team as a legitimate human being, which means at the very least observing a "no fascists" rule.
>> No. 13570 Anonymous
5th November 2020
Thursday 11:55 pm
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>>13567
Oh Simon!
>> No. 13571 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 3:20 am
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>>13567

Why did he fire a facist? Who knows.
>> No. 13572 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 1:11 pm
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>>13569
Were the BNP fascists? I can't even bloody remember, they were there and gone again almost overnight it seems.
>> No. 13573 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 1:32 pm
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>>13572
They simply didn't like people who weren't white British living here, but Nick Griffin rebranded them to become a bit more palatable.

I kind of wish they didn't go away. At least you knew where you stood with the BNP whereas their replacements like Britain First have been very adept at the granular radicalisation of people via social media. It was a bit more fun in those days, when it didn't feel like everything is going to shit and only getting worse.
>> No. 13574 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 1:49 pm
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>>13572

Let's not go there mate, the type of person who thinks it's okay to put someone out of a job for their personal beliefs is definitely also the type of person with a working definition of fascism that means anyone to the right of Obama.

Of course, the show will absolutely never be on the other foot, so it's fine.
>> No. 13575 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 2:09 pm
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>>13574

Bollocks, you'd absolutely love to fire someone for their 'personal beliefs' about trans rights or gay marriage, wouldn't you, you little facist.
>> No. 13576 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 2:19 pm
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>>13575
He's not the one firing people for something that has nothing to do with the job m8.
>> No. 13577 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 2:22 pm
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>>13574
>>13576
He's not wrong. Saying that you think other employees are subhuman or that they should be killed is pretty clearly not on, just because it's behind the veneer of being an ideology doesn't make it okay.
>> No. 13578 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 2:29 pm
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>>13574

I suppose that TalkSport and Merseyside Police are run by a bunch of lefty loons?

https://metro.co.uk/2008/11/19/dj-sacked-for-being-a-bnp-member-156930/

https://www.If I post a link to this website again I will be banned.co.uk/news/article-1163907/PC-named-BNP-membership-list-sacked.html
>> No. 13579 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 2:38 pm
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>>13576
But it IS something to do with the job. We're talking about it in the context of >>13558 - bringing your politics to work. If you have extreme views, of either wing, and you bring those politics to work, you can't be surprised if you lose your job.
>> No. 13580 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 2:45 pm
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>>13575

Nah I'm more worried about what happens if your corpo mates find out you have sympathies for socialist parties. I know it sounds silly because obviously the status quo will always be liberal, and there's never been a time in history where people were removed from jobs or positions of office because they were sociali-

Oh wait that happened constantly in the 20th century and probably still happens commonly in America.

Sort your views out fuckwit. A worker should have a solid concrete protection from dismissal based on their beliefs regardless which way they fall.
>> No. 13581 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 2:58 pm
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>>13580

>A worker should have a solid concrete protection from dismissal based on their beliefs regardless which way they fall.

If your beliefs are "send all the darkies back to where they came from" and your job involves interacting with darkies or making decisions about their lives, your personal beliefs are highly relevant to your ability to perform the job.

Check your own employment contract and you'll likely find a clause stipulating that "bringing the employer into disrepute" constitutes gross misconduct. Human rights are never fully unconditional, because your rights have to be balanced against the rights of other people. You have the right to free association under article 11, but so does your employer; their rights under article 11 are more constrained because of the power imbalance between employer and employee, but they still exist.
>> No. 13582 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 3:04 pm
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>>13580
What makes you think his "corpo mates" would go easy on him just because he went lenient on some fascists?
>> No. 13583 Anonymous
6th November 2020
Friday 3:07 pm
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>>13580

I'm the union rep, I don't think they'd be that surprised.
>> No. 13584 Anonymous
10th November 2020
Tuesday 11:13 am
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>>13558 here again.

I had to give him a bit of training this morning. He told me about how the announcement of the coronavirus vaccine was timed for after Biden was declared the winner, what Biden was up to in Ukraine, how Hillary Clinton makes $20million a year doing speeches even though she's terrible at it and how Trump's days were always numbered because he's not a career politician.
>> No. 13585 Anonymous
10th November 2020
Tuesday 11:20 am
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>>13584

Fire the cunt. Unless he's literally wiping the floor all day, his poor judgment is likely to cost the company money. In any case he may be contributing to a hostile working environment.
>> No. 13586 Anonymous
10th November 2020
Tuesday 11:25 am
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>>13581

>Check your own employment contract and you'll likely find a clause stipulating that "bringing the employer into disrepute" constitutes gross misconduct.

Yeas, and it shouldn't. People should be able to post whatever the fuck they want on Twatter without losing their job. A division between someone's work and private life should be protected in law. There's nothing complicated about this: It would be better for everyone if your boss isn't allowed to sack you just because he suspects you of wrongthink.

It applies to plenty of other areas. If my employers found out about my sexual escapades they might well think it brings their company into disrepute or whatever, and so like anyone else who knows how to play by the rules of the neo-liberal hellscape we live in I keep them "discreet". It would be a far happier life if one could be open about such things without fearing for their livelihoods. I'd imagine that's exactly how plain old gay people felt in the 50s, at any rate.
>> No. 13587 Anonymous
10th November 2020
Tuesday 11:31 am
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>>13585
I'm not in a position to fire him. I'll just keep this in my arsenal until I can utilise it for a bit of shit stirring.
>> No. 13588 Anonymous
10th November 2020
Tuesday 11:40 am
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>>13586
What exactly are you up to that you'd be as despised for as gays were in the 50's?
>> No. 13589 Anonymous
10th November 2020
Tuesday 1:07 pm
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>>13584
My speech to him would go something like this -

"You have the right to a private life, and are absolutely allowed to hold these political views in private, but when you bring them to work and share them like this, you make them public, and others who might disagree feel at least uncomfortable, and a few might find them outright hostile. Personally I think you are peddling dangerous lies; please don't bring this stuff to work, else it becomes our shared problem, rather than some private views you hold."

And 100% this >>13585 - he displays extremely poor judgement by holding these views and, expressing them out loud at work. There are plenty of jobs/roles where those views, and that judgement could impact your customers; depends on your line of business, but if he continued to spout this stuff out loud, in my line of work I could, and would, get rid of him for creating/contributing to a hostile work environment, and the concern that he could also not be treating our customers fairly.
>> No. 13590 Anonymous
10th November 2020
Tuesday 6:01 pm
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>>13589

Sounds like you have the drab boring workplace you deserve.
>> No. 13591 Anonymous
11th November 2020
Wednesday 6:41 pm
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Lads I'm at my fucking tether's end.

My assistant is absolutely doing my nut in, basically. I've wrote a long post and binned it before so I'll try to summarise. It's been three years we've been the Accounts Department together, and once we got over the initial curve it was alright, not to mention we get along well. But after this hell of a year it just feels like another thing in the pile on top of me.

My problems with her include
>verbal diarrhoea
>constantly distracted like a misbehaving schoolchild. Toilet breaks, cig breaks, tea breaks, complaining about the office temperature, generally sticking her head out of the window when there's a bang outside; it all means I probably only get 40 minutes work out of her an hour, unless it's a "panic day" where I make her do all the purchase invoices for a month or something because of a deadline
>forgets different parts of her role each week, or different stages of those roles, causing me undue stress having to remember and double-check basically the entire department's workplan at all times, when she should be the person alleviating me of this
>limited willingness to take responsibility or autonomy with minor jobs, again dumping the mental stress on me, meaning I have to do dumb shit like check she hasn't ordered £10k worth of ink for the wrong printer, or she has to involve me in basic stuff like sending the copy invoice Mr Smith requested a week ago. Meanwhile she does approach the weekly office sandwich order with aplomb and vigour I could only wish for when she's doing actual accounts work
>emotionally charged, not volatile and argumentative, but will get into a mood when she feels under pressure (from other departments rather than me usually), exacerbating the other issues

I can understand not giving a fuck about work, I know I will never achieve "self-actualisation" through it myself. But she wants to be here, she's told me before we're the best place she's worked; but it doesn't feel like she actually wants to get to grips with it. A month or so ago she rang me after 5pm in tears because she felt she was letting me and the whole place down; she must have just felt it because I've never ranted at her, it's not my personality and I know how she'd react badly. Selfishly I can't lose my only help at such a critical time either, I can't afford 3 months training someone new right now.

I wouldn't get her sacked, she's from a lower working class background and probably the first in generations to have a job in a slightly more professional sphere. Even shuffling her off to be a receptionist for someone else at the company feels like a betrayal.

I feel like I've been a fair manager and good tutor but it's just not worked out fully.
>> No. 13592 Anonymous
11th November 2020
Wednesday 7:21 pm
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>>13591

First of all you need to stop covering up for her. Can't take action on someone without a fuck-up to take action on them for. After a few incidents she'll either learn you've stopped holding her hand and buck her ideas up or someone somewhere will notice she's shit at her job.

Just mind it's clear it wasn't your fault.
>> No. 13593 Anonymous
11th November 2020
Wednesday 7:26 pm
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>>13592

Forgot the second half of what I was going to say, bloody hell.

It's understandable not wanting someone to get into trouble, but sometimes people are too insulated from the consequences of what their work entails and so they never quite put two and two together that they're supposed to take responsibility for it.

I work in a sector where my fuck ups could cost someone their life. Accountability and transparency is therefore incredibly important, so bollockings happen when they need to- but everyone understands it's not just a bollocking for the sake of a bollocking. I think more workplaces could learn from that.
>> No. 13594 Anonymous
11th November 2020
Wednesday 8:08 pm
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>>13591
She sounds childish, and you sound like you are too close to her. It is horizontal and not vertical anymore. Fix it. Bring these issues up with her during your one-to-ones, and ways to improve. And, obviously, set professional boundaries. You have to nip these sorts of things in bud early on.
>> No. 13595 Anonymous
11th November 2020
Wednesday 10:58 pm
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>>13594
Agree with this fella, the real issue is that it's sounds like you're too friendly with her. You need to reset the boundaries of your relationship, and from now on make it clear the responsibilities that are truly hers, and what you expect from her. It's not 'mean' to do this, it's just your job. Make sure there's a clear record of what are her tasks so that the shit doesn't fall on your head if it all goes skewwhiff.
>> No. 13596 Anonymous
12th November 2020
Thursday 12:59 am
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>>13591
>probably the first in generations to have a job in a slightly more professional sphere

I can hear that you care about this person, and unlike others in the thread, that isn't a bad thing in a professional environment, as long as you haven't tried to/actually shagged her.

Your expectations of her are too high, and you need to give her good feedback to help her change and improve. Her capacity for the kind of work you are expecting her to do right now are too great, which is perhaps why you are finding her performance disappointing. Focus on the positives - start finding, and giving her feedback on the things she is good at - give her a bit of confidence. That will allow you the space to then be able to tell her the things that she needs to improve on.

Try to be unemotional when talking to her about what she has done wrong, and learn some techniques for giving good, specific feedback, for helping her to improve. I know two feedback techniques that work - 1. Start, Stop, Continue. 2. Situation, Behaviour, Impact. There are tons of pages all over the internet that talk about those feedback techniques.

https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/closing-the-gap-between-intent-and-impact/
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/start-stop-continue/

Talk to her.
>> No. 13597 Anonymous
18th November 2020
Wednesday 11:24 am
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The sun has been getting on my tits this week, which I'm assuming is due to it being at a lower angle. It's either too dark in my home office or it's glaringly bright; there's very little middle ground.
>> No. 13640 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 9:25 am
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>>13597
>home office
Alright, Priti, you know the drill. Tits or gtfo.
>> No. 13641 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 9:33 am
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>>13640
No-one wants that.
>> No. 13642 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 10:01 am
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>>13641
Exactly. With Priti it's her bountiful, bodacious buttocks or nothing.
>> No. 13672 Anonymous
4th January 2021
Monday 10:33 am
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I don't want to go back to work today.
>> No. 13673 Anonymous
4th January 2021
Monday 10:37 am
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>>13672
Is that why you're still in bed when you should have been at your desk at 9?
>> No. 13674 Anonymous
4th January 2021
Monday 10:46 am
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>>13673
I've stretched out "catching up on my emails" to almost two hours now.
>> No. 13675 Anonymous
4th January 2021
Monday 11:09 am
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>>13672
Came to post the same. I have to email strangers at some point when all I really want to do is sit on a couch munching a tin of chocolates and watching Home Alone.

Oh well, 36 years to go.
>> No. 13676 Anonymous
4th January 2021
Monday 2:30 pm
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Good job I'm off for another week, otherwise I'd've been quite late starting this morningafternoon. I've regressed into my natural night-owl sleep pattern. I may have to push on through to get synced.
>> No. 13677 Anonymous
4th January 2021
Monday 2:54 pm
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>>13676
Should've booked it off from Blue Monday. This week nobody wants to work but it'll soon start picking up.
>> No. 13691 Anonymous
12th January 2021
Tuesday 8:16 pm
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I was mildly rebuked today. I did a bit of work for someone last week, a bit of a favour as it's not my remit but this sort of thing tends to come my way because I'm seen as one of the most technical people in the company. The person I did the work for didn't actually do anything with it, which apparently is partially my fault as they're in senior management so I should have chased them up because of how busy they are. Nevermind the fact I had no way of knowing what happened next after my work was done as I have no further involvement in it and it's not like I have other things to do, like my actual job, and just sit there twiddling my thumbs instead.
>> No. 13692 Anonymous
20th January 2021
Wednesday 10:32 pm
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I've been rewatching the Office US during the lockdown and I love it so much.

I also have been rereading this excellent blog which analyzes the show through the lens of Organizational Theory
https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-or-the-office-according-to-the-office/

I'm sure some of you lads are familiar with it, but I thought some of you would get a kick out of it.
>> No. 13693 Anonymous
21st January 2021
Thursday 6:07 am
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There's got to be something particular to the promotion chain from staff nurse through to matrons and sisters in a hospital that selects for the most absolute fucking bellends you can possibly imagine. The Karen meme fits nobody better.
>> No. 13694 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 4:46 pm
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I've just been training a ~23 year old over Teams whilst they shared their screen with me. I don't think he knew a single keyboard shortcut; watching him slowly click copy and then slowly click paste was eating me up inside.

I know we had a discussion not to long ago about young people struggling with computers because they're only really used to using apps, but it was painful.
>> No. 13695 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 4:48 pm
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>>13694
>not to long ago

And, of course, we still can't delete and repost when we make mistakes.
>> No. 13696 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 4:55 pm
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>>13694

What's his role and what does he get paid?
>> No. 13697 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 4:55 pm
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>>13694

What's his role and what does he get paid?
>> No. 13698 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 5:00 pm
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>>13696
He's on what is dubbed the graduate scheme, which means you'll spend time in several departments to learn the ropes.
>> No. 13699 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 5:35 pm
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>>13694

Last time I was in work in real life, there were two colleagues in my office, one about 58 and one about 22 - and they were both utterly amazed that I could type without looking at the keyboard. Neither had even heard the phrase 'touch type'.

Both professionals, both use computers daily. Mental, really. I was never taught to touch type, I just grew up around computers with real keyboards, and I suppose there's only a ten or fifteen year window of people who fit that bill.
>> No. 13700 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 6:08 pm
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>>13699
I came through that era, and can't touch type, despite trying quite hard to learn. I simply don't know where my fingers are without visual feedback. I'm not slow, but I'm resigned to always having to look. To be fair, I also have no idea where my limbs are without checking. I am not a graceful person.
>> No. 13701 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 6:58 pm
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I can touch type, but I can't sit in a chair in a sensible way so it makes the typing bit that much harder.
>> No. 13702 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 8:28 pm
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>>13700

I would have assumed knowing where your fingers are without looking is innate - if you can pick your nose with your eyes closed surely you're halfway there?
Then again, I have spent many many hours training my dexterity with piano and guitar playing, so maybe I am taking that for granted.

Anyway I'm going to bring in my blank keyboard when we're back at work, just to further flex on my peers and staff.
>> No. 13703 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 8:49 pm
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>>13702

If you don't get into the habit of using the home row, you're stuffed. Memorising the QWERTY layout isn't particularly difficult, but your proprioception just isn't good enough without the help of tactile markers. Switching to 7-string guitar isn't massively difficult, but it really messes with your head for a bit because your landmarks aren't where you expect them to be.

>I'm going to bring in my blank keyboard when we're back at work

Back in the Before Times when people were allowed to use shared computers, I always enjoyed shuffling the keycaps around to confuse the non-touch-typing untermenschen.
>> No. 13704 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 9:04 pm
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>>13702
You're talking to someone who poked his finger in his eye twice today. To pick my nose, I'll move my finger until in from definitely too far away until it touches something, then guide it in. I'm rarely more than a couple of cm off, but first-touch is never going to be accurate.
I'm fine with a blank keyboard. I know what order the keys are in, but that's not enough.
_With_ vision feedback, I'm fine hand soldering 0201 components. It's not that I have the shakes, I just have to close the loop with sight rather than whateverthehell you freaks use.
Of course, if I go blind, I'm completely fucked. Here's hoping, eh. Optician says I've got early stage cataracts,
>> No. 13705 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 9:34 pm
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>>13704

You really can't touch your nose accurately with your eyes closed? I always thought that was just an innate sense we all had. Apologies blindsolderlad.
>> No. 13706 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 11:10 pm
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>>13703

I can touch type when I'm just thinking of words in my head I want to appear on screen, but when I start to think about where particular keys are on the keyboard I can't do it.

I never made any conscious effort to learn how to type, except I spent hours writing essays at uni and shitposting on imageboards.

It's fascinating that there's a part of my brain that knows where all the keys are that I don't have conscious access to.
>> No. 13707 Anonymous
4th February 2021
Thursday 11:50 pm
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>>13706

I've always enjoyed that on a blank keyboard, I can't type numbers or symbols (on the number row, not numpad) at all if I look at them, but looking away I can do it no problem. I have subconsciously memorised the positions far better than I can visually count to ten, essentially.

Also that I can type with my eyes closed, and will instinctively correct mistakes I make without even thinking about it. I am not actually a very accurate typist, but as I'm quick at correcting I can still hit an average of 65wpm. I suppose if I really sat down and taught myself to be more accurate, that speed would rocket up. But I only really need to type one or two reports a day and send very brief messages at work, and I think this place is leisurely enough that I don't need to be any quicker at posting stuff.

Anyway, if I was high, I'd probably bang on about how complex a task touch typing is, if you really think about it. It's incredibly complicated dextrous work, with a lot of brainpower involved too - and all the while you're doing it while thinking about what to write, too.
>> No. 13708 Anonymous
5th February 2021
Friday 6:48 am
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>>13704

Are you Ehlers-Danlos lad?

>whateverthehell you freaks use

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprioception
>> No. 13709 Anonymous
5th February 2021
Friday 10:49 am
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>>13708
I have EDS and I'm not the lad you're replying to (but it seems like he should get checked for something along those lines). I can touch-type perfectly well but my knuckles start crunching after a long session.

I remember having the nose touch test administered multiple times when they were trying to diagnose it. I'm better at it now than I was as a child.
>> No. 13710 Anonymous
5th February 2021
Friday 11:02 am
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>>13708
Nope, I'm all connected together very firmly.
If I bend my arms or legs too much (but not to the end stops) the muscles cramp up, which may or may not be related. Dunno, don't care overmuch.
>> No. 13711 Anonymous
5th February 2021
Friday 12:14 pm
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>>13707

Actually, touchtyping is really interesting from a neuroscience perspective. The muscle memory of where the keys are is stored in the cerebellum, and there has to be connectivity with Broca and Wernicke's area in the cortex. I imagine there is also recruitment of the basal ganglia.

How does touch-typing differ between writing one's own thoughts as they arise, versus copying a piece of written text, or transcribing audio?

How do neurodegenerative conditions (Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Stroke) impact upon typing ability?

There is some literature with fMRI and behaviour/performance in humans, but you can't really get to the wiring of the phenomena as there are no animal models for typing. It's very much a human-only thing.
>> No. 13712 Anonymous
11th February 2021
Thursday 6:41 pm
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I've suddenly got a terrible feeling that I spoke with someone yesterday, possibly even the day before, and said I'd drop them an email so they had my contact details in case they needed them. There's around a dozen people that could have been so I guess I'll just have to email them all in the morning.
>> No. 13713 Anonymous
11th February 2021
Thursday 8:34 pm
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>>13712

Can you e-mail a generic address and then blind carbon copy (BCC) them all in?

Start with a generic "Hello!" and you'll be reet.
>> No. 13715 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 1:03 am
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Like any true British worker I clock in and leave on the dot. I don't really like working hard before 1130 either which is about when I have my coffee. Fortunately I have professional skills and tend to know how the system/office works so I get away with it.

I have a feeling most of you will know what I mean as the internet attracts the ideas people who aren't really practical. Unfortunately I've started working with a mixture of morning people and weirdos who work late so I've just found out that I have to do a report first thing tomorrow. Also the bosses are dropping hints that there's a position opening up above me soon and I might end up with a colleague being my boss unless I start putting more effort in. The latter is properly pushing my buttons and I'll obviously have to leave if it happens for my ego's sake.

So yeah, people who work hard are a problem. Not because they're more productive but because they don't get it and it only makes life worse for everyone who isn't in upper management. They also tend to cause problems by being over eager and working faster than the system but that's just my opinion.
>> No. 13716 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 2:33 am
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>>13715

I can't abide by people who do their jobs badly for the same reason. Cock ups only create more work when you have to fix them. Do your job right the first time, and everyone will be happier.

In my line of work it's kind of the other way round with regards to quantity of work. There's no real way to work too hard and make everyone else look bad, because you either finish all your work or you don't. If you work fast you can spend the rest of the day tossing it off, but there's functionally no difference if you drag your feet and stretch it out all day like some people do. However, leaving work unfinished will quickly get you the cold shoulder until you start pulling your weight, or else others have to pick up your slack.
>> No. 13717 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 7:18 am
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>>13715
This shocks me greatly. How can you last until 1130 for coffee? Or is it not the first one?
>> No. 13718 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 1:19 pm
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Back in the days when I worked in an office instead of at home I used to be in by by 8 and out for 4:30. The first 2 hours were spent drinking coffee and checking/replying to emails. If I didn't have a meeting to attend to I could bugger off out to do site visits for a few hours before idling at my desk until clocking out.

Now with slack set up on my work phone I don't have be at my desk so much, so I can go for a walk around the park and still answer questions or arrange for stuff to get done. I am honestly sort of dreading having to go back to a full office environment.
>> No. 13719 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 3:40 pm
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Pretty much every place I've worked at have always had the hump with me leaving on time.
Cunts.
>> No. 13720 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 4:03 pm
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>>13719

The one job I had with an actual clock/in out system, I got hunted down by the HR woman and chastised for being at work 15 minutes early.
>> No. 13721 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 4:23 pm
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>>13719
Most places I've worked at say you're being paid for your contracted hours, you are at your desk ready to work at nine and can only stop working at five and not a second sooner.

My current place, they are getting ready to leave at ten minutes to, and can't get out the fucking door fast enough when it hits five o'clock. If I'm still busily working up to five I'll look up from my desk and wonder where everyone has vanished to.
>> No. 13722 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 5:00 pm
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>>13721
I work for a team in California. Nobody gives a fuck as long as I show up for the occasional call.
>> No. 13723 Anonymous
18th February 2021
Thursday 5:05 pm
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I've been on flexi for a while as have the rest of my team and my manager. As long as the work gets done and gets done, no one cares. WFH is even better, answer a few emails/Team messages via my phone whilst in bed, have a slow start and sit down at my desk for about 11:30am, do things around the house as I get bits of work done, eat and then finish about 7:30ish with everything done (including housework and dinner), drink, read and write into the evening, watch a film and fall asleep. Pretty comfy life. Can't remember the last time I wore more than a t-shirt and boxer shorts. I do not miss my old 'proper' job, having to wear shirt and trousers everyday, 9 - 5 - fuck that. Works for some, not for me.
>> No. 13763 Anonymous
10th March 2021
Wednesday 12:47 pm
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Everyone seems to be in a whiny mood today. There's been an hour long bitch on Teams over something not working properly, which could have been quickly nipped in the bud if any of them decided to try and get it resolved themselves.
>> No. 13764 Anonymous
10th March 2021
Wednesday 5:19 pm
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>>13763

Would that thing be EMIS by any chance?
>> No. 13765 Anonymous
10th March 2021
Wednesday 7:08 pm
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>>13764
Nope. There were about 80 posts in the thread having a massive whinge that stemmed from something not pulling through correctly; all it took was me getting in touch with someone to get it fixed but none of them took it upon themselves to do that.
>> No. 13766 Anonymous
27th March 2021
Saturday 9:10 pm
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I keep hearing the Microsoft Teams dial tone even when my computer is off and I'm not working.
>> No. 13767 Anonymous
28th March 2021
Sunday 12:11 am
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>>13766
I hear it whenever I'm switching monitors and in my nightmares too. Hope Microsoft patches these issues quickly.
>> No. 13769 Anonymous
9th April 2021
Friday 12:06 pm
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Anyone else find that your nose will run when you're speaking on a videocall? It's very distracting.
>> No. 13770 Anonymous
9th April 2021
Friday 1:41 pm
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>>13769
Stop powdering your nose before work. But no, I've never noticed this. Is it only on teams?
>> No. 13771 Anonymous
9th April 2021
Friday 2:40 pm
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>>13770
Yeah, I'm just assuming it's an angle thing rather than 5g the rays.
>> No. 13783 Anonymous
23rd April 2021
Friday 2:08 pm
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A company-wide email has gone out saying they're concerned that people haven't taken enough leave yet and they want to avoid too many being off at the same time by... making everyone take 50% of their entitlement by the end of June, so shitloads of people will be taking at least a couple of weeks off in the next two months or so.
>> No. 13784 Anonymous
23rd April 2021
Friday 2:35 pm
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I could've sworn that in the beforetime there was a rule that you wouldn't assign people more work on Friday. It's not like I'm going to do it today so I'm just going to have it hanging over me all weekend when in reality I would've been happier learning Monday morning when I'm in need of direction.

>>13783
>making everyone take 50% of their entitlement

They can legally do that? My work just offered to buy a week's holiday from anyone that wanted it. My only annoyance was that I couldn't sell more of it like a good capitalist.
>> No. 13785 Anonymous
23rd April 2021
Friday 2:41 pm
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>>13784
An employer can choose when you have time off, provided they give you enough notice and they don't try and make you do it when you're sick.
>> No. 13786 Anonymous
23rd April 2021
Friday 2:42 pm
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>>13784

>They can legally do that?

Yep. You're entitled to paid holiday, but the law says nothing about when you can take it. Some employers offer you no choice at all, with the obvious example being schools and universities.
>> No. 13787 Anonymous
23rd April 2021
Friday 2:50 pm
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More info about when an employer can and can't make you take leave here: https://www.gov.uk/holiday-entitlement-rights/booking-time-off-
>> No. 13788 Anonymous
28th April 2021
Wednesday 3:42 pm
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I popped into the office earlier to drop something off, the second time I've visited since March last year. I didn't recognise at least half the people as there's been a fair bit of turnover in the admin departments so I expect the atmosphere will be completely different when everyone is back in.

Anyway, a fat guy has started with very questionable hygiene; greasy hair, some of the buttons on his shirt had burst open through the sheer force of his gut and you could smell his B.O. from quite far away, which is why I expect he'd been shoved in a corner.
>> No. 13789 Anonymous
28th April 2021
Wednesday 3:57 pm
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>>13788
>Anyway, a fat guy has started with very questionable hygiene; greasy hair, some of the buttons on his shirt had burst open through the sheer force of his gut and you could smell his B.O. from quite far away, which is why I expect he'd been shoved in a corner.
This is a productivity hack. Too many people either don't understand or deliberately disregard the Headphone Code, so he's making it physically unpleasant to interrupt him with anything non-essential.
>> No. 13800 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 2:38 pm
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>West Midlands Trains emailed about 2,500 employees with a message saying its managing director, Julian Edwards, wanted to thank them for their hard work over the past year under Covid-19. The email said they would get a one-off payment as a thank you after “huge strain was placed upon a large number of our workforce”.

>However, those who clicked through on the link to read Edwards’ thank you were instead emailed back with a message telling them it was a company-designed “phishing simulation test” and there was to be no bonus. It warned: “This was a test designed by our IT team to entice you to click the link and used both the promise of thanks and financial reward.”

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/may/10/train-firms-worker-bonus-email-is-actually-cyber-security-test

What the actual fuck?
>> No. 13801 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 2:41 pm
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>>13800

That's amazing. And at least from how it's described here, seems to entirely miss the point about how phishing works. Or am I not supposed to open company email now?
>> No. 13802 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 3:26 pm
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>>13800>>13801
Yeah, what the hell? I scan over email addresses all the time to make sure "Amazon" isn't inexplicably emailing from a university address or a random string of numbers, but if it's a regular correspondence what can you do?

You guys have complained about HR departments plenty of times in the lifespan of this thread, but I consider IT to be the biggest oxygen theives in my own experience. They know the difference between an HDMI and a VGA and all of a sudden they think they're white hat hackers.
>> No. 13803 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 3:44 pm
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>>13800
That's amazing. That warms my cockles, it's so wonderfully corporate.
>> No. 13804 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 3:47 pm
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>>13802

Our IT department has recently spend a shitload on a system that scans all links in emails sent from company addresses, which basically resulted in crippling an entire department for a week because the filter kept flagging links to competitor's websites as dodgy - not ideal for marketing strategy departments whose job it is to monitor and asses the competition.

Moreover, parallel to this, they managed to open the ethernet H: drive, the one with all our sensitive financial data on it, to the entire internet for a day. All you had to do was put in a valid company email address, no password, to gain access. And as a lot of our email addresses are firstname.surname@company.co.uk, it wasn't much of a stretch that someone could have figured it out. I'm not sure how they kept that one quiet.

I also get more emails from IT about minor updates to systems I do not use than I get emails from actual people.
>> No. 13805 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 3:47 pm
13805 spacer
You can't mute audio shared through Zoom without muting the whole application, so if someone wants to blast shit music there's little you can do about it. For fuck's sake.
>> No. 13806 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 5:12 pm
13806 spacer
>>13804

Management fail to understand that scrimping on IT is a terrible false economy, because it makes everyone else in the organisation less effective and exposes them to huge business risks.

Well-functioning IT departments look like a total waste of money, because everything just works and it looks like they're doing fuck all. Busy IT departments are nearly always incompetent, grossly under-resourced or both, but management all too often value people based on the subjective appearance of busyness rather than objective measures of performance.
>> No. 13807 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 5:29 pm
13807 spacer
>>13804

About half an hour after I posted this I got a high priority email from IT about the rollout of BitLocker on all the company's desktops.

What odd timing. If you're reading this Kevin, you can fuck right off. Fix my card reader.
>> No. 13808 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 6:01 pm
13808 spacer
>>13807

My office. Now.
>> No. 13809 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 8:06 pm
13809 spacer
My Teams notifications are still going off. I get that they don't expect me to answer until the morning but this feels like asking someone to do a task on a Friday afternoon that's not due until Wednesday.

This problem never existed in the beforetime as far as I can remember.
>> No. 13810 Anonymous
10th May 2021
Monday 9:31 pm
13810 spacer
>>13809
Need to separate your devices.
>> No. 13811 Anonymous
11th May 2021
Tuesday 12:04 am
13811 spacer
>>13810
I do, I'm just saying that I can hear it booping.
>> No. 13812 Anonymous
11th May 2021
Tuesday 1:49 pm
13812 spacer
>>13811
Well put it in deboop mode
>> No. 13815 Anonymous
1st June 2021
Tuesday 12:59 am
13815 spacer
Just checked the rotas for June/July and I've been put down for four weekends in a fucking row. Seething.

I don't mind weekends, I get extra pay for it, but to put me on four consecutively, for practically a fucking month, right as the weather is getting nice and we're allowed to have a social life again? That's taking the actual piss. The urine is being forcibly extracted from my bladder.

The woman who does the rotas is honestly the biggest tosser I know in person right now, and I'm seriously beginning to debate if it's worth finding another job because of her alone.
>> No. 13816 Anonymous
1st June 2021
Tuesday 10:07 am
13816 All Roads Lead To Finding a New Job Pal
>>13815
If you're on the bad side of whomever does the rota and you are living week to week, get out now.

I remember a few years ago I was cutting things fine and ended up losing my flat because I didn't get rota'd in by some cunt at the bar. Seems silly now that it was only 50-100 quid between me and that, but still, these people don't give a fuck.

If you don't like her and she doesn't like you, chances are this isn't a coincidence and you're being used as filler to allow more flexibility for those who have played the game, and you will continue to be pushed.

If you don't need the job, feel free to say "I'm not going to be in the country on these two weekends, but will be available outside of that". Then she'll probably cut your shifts, but hey, that's 0 hour contracts for you.
>> No. 13817 Anonymous
1st June 2021
Tuesday 2:31 pm
13817 spacer
>>13816

I'm not on her bad side, or to my knowledge at least, I shouldn't be. Pretty much everyone unanimously agrees that the rotas have been shite since she took over.

The fact is she's just a feckless wanker who rushes the rota out last thing on a Friday afternoon before knocking off early to hit the gin. She's relatively new and has been ruffling feathers ever since she arrived. All the classic signs of someone in a managerial position who's well acquainted with the ways you can half arse your job with impunity.

Trouble is it's not like I'm working minimum wage at Maccies here. It's just a field that requires 24/7 coverage, and wherever else I go has the potential to have exactly the same issue.
>> No. 13818 Anonymous
1st June 2021
Tuesday 2:54 pm
13818 spacer
>>13817

Lab tech? Don't know why, just getting some sort of sixth sense.
>> No. 13819 Anonymous
1st June 2021
Tuesday 4:25 pm
13819 spacer
90 day passwords for admin functions. That cannot be the same as the last 3 entries. That must include capitalisation, a number, a symbol, be 9 letters long ad nauseam. And then if you get the password wrong 3 times you will of course be locked out and have an absolute ball-ache getting let back in.

I have a feeling it has to be this way, not because it works but because it gives the appearance of working.

>>13817
>All the classic signs of someone in a managerial position who's well acquainted with the ways you can half arse your job with impunity

As someone who half arses life in general; have you thought about kicking up a fuss so she consciously avoids fucking you, and specially you, about?
>> No. 13873 Anonymous
8th June 2021
Tuesday 4:52 pm
13873 spacer
>>13819
>As someone who half arses life in general; have you thought about kicking up a fuss so she consciously avoids fucking you, and specially you, about?

You need to establish that dynamic pretty swift though. If it settles and then you try and show backbone you can end up getting even more shafted for appearing inconsistent.
>> No. 13874 Anonymous
8th June 2021
Tuesday 5:07 pm
13874 spacer
>>13815

maybe hint to her you consider unfair rotas a form of work place bullying
>> No. 13875 Anonymous
9th June 2021
Wednesday 12:19 pm
13875 spacer
People putting preferred pronouns on their email and yes I get why they're doing it but this seems a bit daft. The more people do it, the more pressure I have to spend 5 minutes doing my signature for absolutely no benefit - a form of workplace assault.
>> No. 13876 Anonymous
16th June 2021
Wednesday 7:21 pm
13876 spacer
Has there ever been a workplace that hasn't faced chronic understaffing, what's that like?

My complaint is that while it's nice to have the job security it's not when I'm doing the work of 3 people for the same pay. I think I might just start grabbing people off the street in some big net and putting them to work.
>> No. 13877 Anonymous
16th June 2021
Wednesday 7:53 pm
13877 spacer
My workplace cannot make up their mind when it comes to IT. We've got more than one shared server for storing files, our institution subscribes to Box, and we use Office365 for email so we have access to quite a lot of storage on OneDrive, but there is no consensus on which one we should be using. For VoIP/teleconferencing, we had been using BlueJeans for a long time, then were pushed towards Teams to handle our scheduling and meetings and to have more fluid interactions during Covid, now we're being pushed towards Slack, which is just... Teams again?

Infuriating. I'm also the only person under 40 in our group, meaning I get the added bonus of watching people fuck up whichever new direction we're pushed in.
>> No. 13878 Anonymous
16th June 2021
Wednesday 8:30 pm
13878 spacer
>>13876
I do IT support and it's all over the place, but on the whole, most of the time, there could be fewer of us with no problems. It's quite awkward if you ever wonder where you are going in life, because surely they will notice eventually and sack me. But occasionally, lots of things need doing and then it's good to have everyone. Plus it means one extra person to talk to when nothing needs doing.

Overall, though, my work is effectively trying to move in a direction which doesn't require any IT support. That is concerning, but it's been that way for a while and I haven't been got rid of yet.
>> No. 13900 Anonymous
21st June 2021
Monday 2:08 pm
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I'm just finishing employment with a company and I'll be paid a few days leave in lieu in my last wage. Standard annual leave is 22 days plus 1 day which has to be taken off at Christmas, so 23 days. When they're working out how many days I'm owed they're basing it off the 22 days for the year rather than the 23, which is just enough for them to pay me one day less in lieu. That doesn't seem right to me.
>> No. 13901 Anonymous
21st June 2021
Monday 2:24 pm
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>>13900

Is there anything in your contract about Christmas day?
>> No. 13902 Anonymous
21st June 2021
Monday 2:36 pm
13902 spacer
>>13901
Nothing whatsoever, it just says "you are entitled to x days per annum" and "If your employment terminates for any reason, except a reason justifying summary dismissal, you will be entitled to an amount of annual holiday pay for your in expended holiday entitlement pro rata to the length of your service during the holiday year in which employment terminates".
>> No. 13903 Anonymous
21st June 2021
Monday 3:15 pm
13903 spacer
>>13902
What do they do about other bank holidays?
>> No. 13905 Anonymous
21st June 2021
Monday 3:21 pm
13905 spacer
>>13903
The only bit about statutory bank holidays and public holidays is that the annual leave is in addition to this, with the bank holiday entitlement pro-rata for part-time people.
>> No. 13909 Anonymous
7th July 2021
Wednesday 5:20 pm
13909 spacer
We've had a graduate start fairly recently and he's completely insufferable. I don't think I've ever met a bigger brown-noser in my life. If everyone was still in the office then he'd have had the piss taken out of him mercilessly, which would have taken him down a peg or two but unfortunately that hasn't happened yet.
>> No. 13910 Anonymous
8th July 2021
Thursday 6:32 pm
13910 spacer
>>13909

Try to be a bit more empathetic. He's probably nervous as fuck, no one has told him the rules yet. If he's on any kind of probation period then he's probably anxious as fuck about blowing it.
>> No. 13911 Anonymous
8th July 2021
Thursday 7:44 pm
13911 spacer
>>13910
You'll have to trust me on this one, his sycophancy is nauseating. For example, he was praised for some of his work and his response was to say that he is trying to live up to the high standards that we have set for him to follow. He's constantly blowing his own trumpet and there's been more than one occasion where he's denigrated other members of his team and suggested they're not capable of doing things that he can, which he hasn't been able to back up with his actions.

Plus, he's got a ridiculous quiff. Not too far off Jedward.
>> No. 13912 Anonymous
8th July 2021
Thursday 7:47 pm
13912 spacer
>>13911
Detecting a bit of jealousy here.
>> No. 13913 Anonymous
8th July 2021
Thursday 7:52 pm
13913 spacer
>>13912
I'm one of the people who have been held up to him as a 'success story' of where he can be in the future if he puts the effort in and works hard. As such, I'm one of the people he fawns over. I've never been brown-nosed before and I do not like it.
>> No. 13922 Anonymous
26th July 2021
Monday 5:19 pm
13922 spacer
Job vacancies when they have an internal candidate in mind but have to go through the motions of advertising it externally and interviewing for it.
>> No. 13923 Anonymous
26th July 2021
Monday 5:29 pm
13923 spacer
>>13922

We're doing some of those at the minute, with the added spice that a perfectly suited internal candidate transferred to the hiring location about two weeks before the job posting.
>> No. 13924 Anonymous
26th July 2021
Monday 5:52 pm
13924 spacer
>>13923
I wish there was some reliable code for 'don't bother'. Something like 'extensive experience in a very similar position required'. Avoid wasting everybody's time. But Gemma from HR has no concept of wasting peoples' time. Just following process. Nuke. Orbit. Sure.
>> No. 13925 Anonymous
26th July 2021
Monday 6:27 pm
13925 spacer
>>13923
>with the added spice that a perfectly suited internal candidate transferred to the hiring location about two weeks before the job posting

Last year they were making redundancies from one of the departments at work, with two out of four people set to lose their job. Less than a week after it was announced who was being made redundant one of those who'd kept their job handed her notice in.
>> No. 13926 Anonymous
26th July 2021
Monday 7:25 pm
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>>13925
I've got something similar at the moment, some idiot decided to do corporate restructuring during a pandemic so everyone is just leaving. I'd do it myself but I'm too lazy.
>> No. 13927 Anonymous
26th July 2021
Monday 7:34 pm
13927 spacer
>>13925
Something similar at my place of work. Silly restructure. Mass redundancies.

Just after a couple of weeks when they told the team who was getting sacked, myself and 3 other people handed in our notices, and all of us were safe anyway. But we started looking because we didn't want to play about and wait for the executives to pick who they wanted gone. So now, a team of 16 will be a team of 2.

There is a recruitment freeze because of the restructure, so to get around the fact that they are losing close to 90% of the team, they decided to get contractors... on expensive day-rates...

I don't understand how these people think.
>> No. 13928 Anonymous
26th July 2021
Monday 8:05 pm
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>>13927
For me everyone's job is officially secure, aside from having to apply again, and instead of hiring consultants they just expected me to take on everything. Fortunately this has had quite the opposite effect where once I finished my in-tray everyone has kept assuming that I'm very busy and I no longer care enough about my job to mention it.

We all know the real reason, someone up top gets bored and runs with some stupid idea to make their mark.
>> No. 13929 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 3:20 pm
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LinkedIn.
>> No. 13930 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 5:41 pm
13930 spacer
>>13929

Ah yes. The dream of selling workwear.
>> No. 13931 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 7:28 pm
13931 spacer
>>13929
>>13930
If you aren't already aware of them, @StateOfLinkedIn on the cursed blue bird thingy is worth a look.
>> No. 13932 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 7:37 pm
13932 spacer
I'm on a salary and I don't get paid enough to to be in work for 5am. If I was working at that time you would be sure that I would be done by 1pm.
>> No. 13933 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 7:42 pm
13933 spacer
>>13932

I'm often at work at 5am, but I usually finish at 11am/noon so it's pretty good.

I don't sell bulk purchased hi-viz vests to people for a living, though.
>> No. 13934 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 8:43 pm
13934 spacer
>>13933
>I don't sell bulk purchased hi-viz vests to people for a living, though.

I don't think she does, either. She's got that admin/accounts look all over her.
>> No. 13935 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 8:56 pm
13935 spacer
I don't get the joke, what's wrong with wanting to better yourself?
>> No. 13936 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 9:38 pm
13936 spacer
>>13935

The joke is she, and presumably by extension you, thinks dragging yourself out of bed at half three in the morning and starting work before the sun's even up is a remotely effective strategy for actually doing so. Therefore the sentiment of "getting up to chase your dreams" as shown in the text only really works if "your dreams" are living the exact same office monotony as everyone else until you retire.

It's a tragic type of black humour, granted, but at this advanced stage of neo-liberal corporate social rot, that's all we have left.
>> No. 13937 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 10:02 pm
13937 spacer
>>13935

If selling PPE is a sufficient dream for you fair enough.
>> No. 13938 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 11:33 pm
13938 spacer
>>13937
Something tells me that the PPE isn't exactly flying off the shelves at 5am. Unless she's camping outside a hospital and price gauging the nightshift.
>> No. 13939 Anonymous
28th July 2021
Wednesday 11:51 pm
13939 spacer
Getting up at half-three is only impressive if you went to bed at midnight.
>> No. 13940 Anonymous
29th July 2021
Thursday 12:56 am
13940 spacer
>>13939
I almost got up at half-three this afternoon. Was woken up by a notification for a 3pm meeting. To be fair, the invite had only been sent out at 2pm.
>> No. 13941 Anonymous
30th July 2021
Friday 5:12 pm
13941 spacer
>>13924
>I wish there was some reliable code for 'don't bother'. Something like 'extensive experience in a very similar position required'. Avoid wasting everybody's time. But Gemma from HR has no concept of wasting peoples' time. Just following process. Nuke. Orbit. Sure.

On this note, what does it mean when a 20 minute "exercise" is included as part of the application process? It's essentially an economic calculation with a bit of abstract "social return on investment" judgement in there as well. Are they trying to separate out the thickos, or is this a case of "if you don't get the right answer you're obviously not in our club"?
>> No. 13942 Anonymous
30th July 2021
Friday 5:23 pm
13942 spacer
I think I got tricked into a not so great job. The role I applied for has been job shared between four people, and most of my work has been doing a more demanding role in a different part of the organisation. Also zero hours contract so very much underemployed. All because I can't handle full time work.
>> No. 13943 Anonymous
30th July 2021
Friday 5:33 pm
13943 spacer
>>13942
Get a remote working job. I've probably done less than three hours of actual work in the last couple of days.
>> No. 13944 Anonymous
30th July 2021
Friday 6:31 pm
13944 spacer
>>13941
Weeds out the people who are just good at doing applications or outright lied. Personally I prefer making them do a presentation on the subject matter so I can see how they tick but then I'm not an economist.
>> No. 13945 Anonymous
30th July 2021
Friday 6:58 pm
13945 spacer
>>13944

When you say "outright lied", do you mean lied about their ability to do the exercise?

I'll admit I'm spending far longer than 20 minutes on this, for the record. Is that outright lying?
>> No. 13946 Anonymous
30th July 2021
Friday 10:19 pm
13946 spacer
>>13945
Presumably they mean outright lied about their ability to do the job.
>> No. 13947 Anonymous
31st July 2021
Saturday 12:30 am
13947 spacer
>>13941
In all the (technical) jobs I've applied for or been involved with recruiting for it's been fairly easy stuff to filter out the bullshitters.

We don't even expect them to be able to answer everything as long as the answers they do give suggest they know what they're talking about. Practical tests are similar eg. making sure the guy applying for an electronics technician role can actually solder and troubleshoot and isn't just someone with a degree but no practical skills.
>> No. 13948 Anonymous
31st July 2021
Saturday 3:09 am
13948 spacer
Never apply for anything that needs you to do a test or presentation. I have recruiters getting in contact and selling me some shit role, and when they say "test," or "presentation" - I tell them to do one. I am not going to spend 3 hours trying to convince someone to hire me, and it has worked out great so far.
>> No. 13949 Anonymous
31st July 2021
Saturday 11:19 am
13949 spacer
>>13948

In the tech industry, the reverse is true. As >>13947 says, there are a lot of bullshitters who have the right qualifications but can't actually do the job, so any employer that doesn't do some kind of testing is going to have a horrendously dysfunctional workplace.
>> No. 13950 Anonymous
31st July 2021
Saturday 11:34 am
13950 spacer
>>13949
I don't know about that. I mean, the places we've heard about with some of the most horrendous dysfunctions also have some of the most rigorous testing regimes.

If you can't suss out the bullshitters in an interview, then you need to work on your interview.
>> No. 13951 Anonymous
31st July 2021
Saturday 12:40 pm
13951 spacer
>>13948
Wouldn't the better advice be to not interact with recruiters at all?
>> No. 13952 Anonymous
31st July 2021
Saturday 2:17 pm
13952 spacer
>>13949
>any employer that doesn't do some kind of testing is going to have a horrendously dysfunctional workplace

Perhaps, and I know what you mean, but that doesn't always mean the places that do the most testing have the most functional workplaces. eg Google, Amazon, Facebook
>> No. 13953 Anonymous
31st July 2021
Saturday 8:59 pm
13953 spacer
>>13951
Perhaps, but I got a good job out of one of those cunts. I literally said no to anything to do with me wasting 3 hours of my life with a test or presentation.

>>13949
I guess it depends on whatever industry you might be in. I worked in engineering before I switched to finance, and although anecdotal, the worst places I have worked in were the ones that had test, presentations, and other bollocks to seem like they were being "efficient," and "fair."

I mean... Isn't that why the civil service is so bad? You have absolute morons in some high posts.
>> No. 13954 Anonymous
31st July 2021
Saturday 9:28 pm
13954 spacer
>>13952

FAANG are at the extreme end of the spectrum with their marathon 5-day interviews, but work performance tests are an important part of a good technical interview. People who do well in the job often do badly in interviews and vice-versa, so the key is to make the interview as much like the job as possible.

There's a lot of cargo-cult thinking and a lot of employers who dish out crap brainteasers because they think it's what they're supposed to do, but I breathe a sigh of relief if someone says "I know it's silly, but could you just do a quick pseudocode FizzBuzz on the whiteboard?" because it suggests a certain minimum level of savvy.
>> No. 13955 Anonymous
9th August 2021
Monday 5:16 am
13955 spacer
They've introduced a new online rostering portal in an attempt to streamline the whole process. But they've decided not to give individual departments/shift leaders access to the supervisor view on the portal, meaning the process is that one person at each base plans the roster for every department, inputs it into the portal, but then also copies that information into an excel doc that then serves as the roster for each department for their allocating.

The obvious flaw in this, that I've been harping on about for ages, is that if someone's shift gets changed on one, but is not changed on the other, you're going to end up with a problem. Especially since most of our supes seem to just assume that they don't even need to tell people about shift changes unless it's very short notice, as the portal will just update everyone.

It only took two weeks to happen, a poor lad came in this morning, as the portal had him starting at 4am - it was actually a day off for him as his shifts were changed in the excel doc, but not updated on the portal. He was surprisingly not that annoyed about it, but I was furious on his behalf. Obviously I sent him home and he's getting paid for it still, but I'm already waiting for someone, anyone, to suggest I should have done anything else.

I cannot WAIT for someone to ask me why I'm paying someone £250 to not be in work. I am unbearable when I'm proved right about something nobody listened to me about, absolutely unbearable. One of these days people will have to accept that everything I say is absolutely, undeniably correct.
>> No. 13956 Anonymous
9th August 2021
Monday 5:37 am
13956 spacer
>>13955

Good lad.

Shit like that is my favourite sort of dysfunctional workplace bureaucracy. A ropey system with an obvious flaw that absolutely doesn't need to exist, but nobody will listen to in order to rectify.

They always think they're doing something dead smart and that the way they've decided to implement it is genius. When in reality, it's the opposite of foolproof, a fool magnet, where failure is all but guaranteed.
>> No. 13958 Anonymous
9th August 2021
Monday 6:45 am
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>>13956

>Shit like that is my favourite sort of dysfunctional workplace bureaucracy. A ropey system with an obvious flaw that absolutely doesn't need to exist, but nobody will listen to in order to rectify.

A really good one recently was someone wanted to roll out a paperless dispatch system, to save on paper costs, despite us being legally required to produce and archive hard copies of the associated paperwork. It's frankly embarrassing to think about how long the idea was entertained of spending the money on rolling out and training the paperless system, while still printing everything out on the old system at the same time. You know, to save money and time. I mean if they put that in a Dilbert strip it would seem too far fetched.
>> No. 13959 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 2:33 pm
13959 spacer
I'm having a well-earned lull in my work this afternoon but Teams keeps moving me to an 'Away' status. The paperclip in the insert key trick doesn't seem to work anymore, instead the AI picks up when you're idle.
>> No. 13960 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 2:41 pm
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>>13959
Can't you put on a ten-hour video on YouTube or something?
>> No. 13961 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 2:47 pm
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>>13959
I've found that certain sites, in my case I have noticed ArsTechnica, is doing some kind of voodoo refresh on its homepage, which if I leave open in a window somewhere, it stops my work computer Teams being Away or my screen getting locked.
>> No. 13962 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 2:50 pm
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>>13959
Would increasing the length of time before your monitor goes to sleep stop this?
>> No. 13963 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 2:52 pm
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>>13959

Doesn't Teams base inactivity on mouse movement? You might be able to figure out a software-based solution going by that.
>> No. 13964 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 3:36 pm
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>>13961
Interesting, I've noticed that sometimes I can get away with being idle, sometimes not.
>> No. 13965 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 4:02 pm
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>>13963
You can also put 'Busy' as a status and override it. DND stands out a bit more, but Busy seems pretty common as a status since it's the default if you're on a call or in a meeting.
>> No. 13966 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 5:35 pm
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>>13963

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=mouse+jiggler
>> No. 13967 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 6:03 pm
13967 spacer
>>13966

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wee-Shoogle-Simulates-Undetectable-compatible/dp/B0928Z9TN9/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=mouse+jiggler&qid=1629219748&sr=8-5


As a Scotsman, I can say that no true slacker would jiggle their mouse with any device other than the wee shoogle.
>> No. 13968 Anonymous
17th August 2021
Tuesday 6:26 pm
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>>13967
Wish I still worked there, so I could find out why these two things are bought together so often.
>> No. 13969 Anonymous
27th August 2021
Friday 12:00 pm
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I'm still working from home but I've been copied in on the email chain (and associated drama) because SOMEONE HAS BEEN TAKING THE CHARITY BAGS OF SWEETS WITHOUT PAYING FOR THEM.
>> No. 13970 Anonymous
27th August 2021
Friday 6:14 pm
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>>13969
I used to work on a reception and those things would rinse me. I'm glad someone is taking a stand.
>> No. 13971 Anonymous
9th September 2021
Thursday 4:40 pm
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What exactly is the appeal of Steve Wright?
>> No. 13972 Anonymous
9th September 2021
Thursday 9:06 pm
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>>13971
In 1981/1982 his daytime/drivetime Radio 1 show was considered unique, very funny and legendarily "zany" compared to everything else on UK radio at the time - this is the era of Smashey and Nicey. It was often termed "zoo radio" and lots of people copied/were influenced by it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morning_zoo
>> No. 13973 Anonymous
9th September 2021
Thursday 11:43 pm
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>>13971
Older women have a thing for him.
>> No. 13974 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 12:04 am
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>>13973
Because when they came home from school, he was the first thing they listened to.
>> No. 13975 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 12:05 am
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>>13972
The morning radio wankers on one of my local stations have a segment where they bring in a Hooters girl and have her make them her favourite cocktail, then just sit and make constant innuendo about the puir lass while she does her thing. This is at about 9 o'clock.
>> No. 13976 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 12:33 am
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>>13975
Hooters is a very difficult thing to process if you haven't been there and experienced it. My mind is still boggling over that, and it's been a very long time. We say "Only In America" a lot, but Hooters - man, it will never translate.

(For the avoidance of doubt, despite it being chicken which I no longer eat, I loved every minute of the experience(s).)
>> No. 13977 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 1:04 am
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>>13976
>I loved every minute of the experience(s)

See I feel like I missed something about this. No homo. The most interesting thing was really the wall décor with letters from Marines fighting for our freedom in Afghanistan and such. We also have Hooters in Nottingham.

Maybe I'm just not Americasexual, I'd sooner slobber over a slightly soft woman still wearing her filthy dressing gown in the afternoon while she makes some proper tea. Picture attached for illustrative purposes only.
>> No. 13978 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 7:23 am
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>>13977
>We also have Hooters in Nottingham.

I don't know if it was official, but there was definitely a Hooters in Hull about 20 years ago which had all the proper branding and everything.
>> No. 13979 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 12:02 pm
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>>13977
Surely a picture of a 'host' returning to the local back street massage parlor while on her break
>> No. 13980 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 12:29 pm
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>>13976

American pop culture icons like Hooters always remind me of a line from the song Americanos by Holly Johnson:

Magic Kingdom filled with Barbie dolls.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svki4Rp9tlU

Also, while we're at it, from the same era:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9nZhdEdBKw
>> No. 13981 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 2:38 pm
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>>13980
What an amazing song, the Holly one. Wish I knew it existed sooner.
>> No. 13982 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 3:23 pm
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>>13981

Personally, I've always liked Love Train better. Also for the positively trippy video.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0VP12wYj_E
>> No. 13983 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 4:30 pm
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>>13978
I have no memory of this. Whereabouts was it?

I made a concerted effort to have a bunch of mates go to the Hooters in Nottingham one time since we were there for an ice hockey match anyway. It was absolutely fucking grim. Being a weekend, it was completely rammed with groups of lads, the servers seemed unsurprisingly miserable. In the days of covid, the thought of that many people in such a tiny building - my back was basically pressing up against the bloke behind me the entire time I was seated - fills me with existential dread.
>> No. 13984 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 4:56 pm
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>>13983

Hull.
>> No. 13985 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 5:20 pm
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>>13983
It was on one of those narrow roads between Prinny Quay and Trinity Church, the one with Mission pub on it and I think Sugar Mill on one corner. I left Hull almost a decade ago so some of these references will be out of date.

It was a single storey building and always looked a bit grim.
>> No. 13986 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 5:28 pm
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This one, if memory serves me correctly.
>> No. 13987 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 5:40 pm
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There used to be a Hooters in the Bull Ring in Birmingham around 20 years ago. It looked a bit grim from the outside, none of the girls working looked particularly happy. Compared to the one time I went to one in the States, it was night and day.
>> No. 13988 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 5:53 pm
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>>13987
I'm not sure any women in the UK are beautiful, plastic or stupid enough to actually do Hooters properly.
>> No. 13989 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 6:04 pm
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>>13983
I've lived in Nottingham for a decade, and despite finding out there was a Hooters in my first week, I've never been. There's been a few times where my friends and I considered going, but then changed plans to drink in a nice local pub instead of some weird misogynistic American transplant. They're on Deliveroo, all they do is beer and wings. Also I don't like attractive shop staff/hospitality staff as they make me nervous.
>> No. 13990 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 6:53 pm
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>>13988
Well they're two out of three.
>> No. 13991 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 7:21 pm
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>>13989
Is anyone actually bothered by the misogynism in contexts like this? It's not like anyone has to work there specifically, presumably you'd enjoy the attention and the tips.

It's basically prostitution and I think prostitution is great, provided people have other options and are safe.
>> No. 13992 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 7:42 pm
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>>13991

>Is anyone actually bothered by the misogynism in contexts like this?

What misogynism. Nobody is twisting any lass's arm to go work there. There are literally thousands of other restaurants where you can go and work as a waitress and don't have to show off your assets like that.

To me, Hooters has always been emblematic of American sexual repression. It's no coincidence that Hooters was founded in the same country which also brought us Nipplegate. Even the biggest sexual repression needs outlets, and Hooters is one of them, albeit still a relatively tame one.
>> No. 13993 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 7:47 pm
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>>13991
I think it's the fact they're explicit about what they're doing.

It's common knowledge that, in general, waitresses tend to be more attractive than the general population but if a restaurant put out a job advert saying "no uggos, fitties only" there would be an outcry. By all means have this as your recruitment policy, just don't tell anyone about it.

It's a bit like Pontins making the headlines earlier in the year for trying to stop gypos from staying with them.
>> No. 13994 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 7:58 pm
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>>13991
>presumably you'd enjoy the attention and the tips
Tipping works differently in America. You're not going to get rich off tips in this country because not enough people are the sort who will give you £50 because they fancy you, and the ones who will do that are the most repulsive rattlesnakes anywhere in society. You heard me: anyone who tips more than 15% is a serial rapist.

I also don't go in for professional attractiveness because it feels fake, and I want something that feels real. I'd leave a tenner as a tip if I really fancied a waitress and saw her all the time and, most importantly of all, was under the impression that only I fancy her. Women who look like magazine women set off my uncanny valley detector, like they aren't really human. You see them at airports sometimes, trying to arrange business transactions with Saudi oil barons. Or the women standing off to one side as the teams come out before a Champions League football match. They all have the exact same smile, like a living photograph, standing motionless and ticking every box for "beautiful" in such a flawlessly rehearsed way, so robotically, that you feel nothing except a vague sense of pity. There's no personality there at all; they must have personalities, but they hide it too well.

I've heard that Hooters chicken wings are amazing, though. I'd go there just to eat the wings, then leave before I feel exploited by the obviously male, probably gay, owners.
>> No. 13995 Anonymous
10th September 2021
Friday 8:48 pm
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https://suburbanturmoil.com/sport-clips-the-hooters-of-hair-2/2010/02/10/

Just attaching this classic while we're on the topic of America's awkward relationship with professional sexiness.
>> No. 13996 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 8:44 am
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>>13995

>Dennis, of course, acted like I was totally overreacting

You don't say. Let's see...

>I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville wife and mother with a passion for family travel, (mostly) healthy cooking, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process.

Ah. Bit late for that last part honestly love.
>> No. 13997 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 8:52 am
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>>13995

As an addendum to my previous post: Is it just me or is America very... For lack of a better term... Pussy whipped, as a nation?

It feels like I'm always seeing a certain type of Yank lad post those cringeworthy "hurr better make sure my wife doesn't fine out" jokes about their new graphics card or box of toy soldiers or whatever. They seem to take it as a norm that the woman is in charge of a relationship via regulation of sexual access, in a way that you just... You really don't see over here.

Summat to do with their weird puritanism I suppose.
>> No. 13998 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 8:58 am
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>>13997
Have you never seen Carry On films?
>> No. 13999 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 9:15 am
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>>13998

I've actually never watched a full one and I don't think I would really care to. Not that I find them offensive or anything, just they're very dated.

Thos films are fifty odd years old, but I'm talking about Americans today, in current year. They seem to have internalised it.
>> No. 14000 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 9:21 am
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>>13998

Other than a one-off flop in 1992 (a "flaccid, feeble comeback effort" and a "wretched and pathetic attempt which is singularly unfunny"), they haven't made those in over forty years.
>> No. 14001 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 10:26 am
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>>14000
They were frequently on the telly more recently than that.
>> No. 14002 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 10:28 am
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>>14001
So they were on random "cable" channels which doesn't count because there are so many that everything is on all the time, or they were on the terrestrial channels, which only people old enough to remember when they came out in the first place watch, so doesn't either.
>> No. 14003 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 12:31 pm
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>>14002
Is this what young people sound like? They were deffo on the terrestrial or freeview channels as recently as the early 2000s, so I'm not sure if you're just trying to make us all feel old or if you need reminding that this site is for over 18s only and you're making me eminently aware that I'm only a few years away from the halfway point. Can you please leave, and take my sense of creeping mortality with you?
>> No. 14004 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 12:54 pm
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>>14003
I can go back to tiktok but I can't take your mortality with me.
>> No. 14005 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 12:59 pm
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>>14003
>They were deffo on the terrestrial or freeview channels as recently as the early 2000s
Carry On films are still on now. I wouldn't be surprised if there was one being shown on ITV4 at this exact moment. Junior here is just trying the classic "lmao imagine STILL owning a TV rofl what a boomer" tactic.

They never show the 1992 one, though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carry_On_Columbus
>The film was panned by critics.
>However, Carry On Columbus took more money at the UK box office than the two other Columbus films released in 1992, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery and 1492: Conquest of Paradise, although all three films flopped. Carry On Columbus was also shot on a much lower budget than the other two films, a budget of £2.5 million compared to the other two budgets of $45 million and $47 million respectively.[2]
We're lucky we didn't get another Carry On film after that.
>> No. 14006 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 1:05 pm
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>>14002
I've seen some of them.
>> No. 14007 Anonymous
11th September 2021
Saturday 10:59 pm
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>>14005

None of us have ever owned a TV. Checkmate, zoomers.
>> No. 14008 Anonymous
12th September 2021
Sunday 12:54 am
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>>14005
>Carry On Columbus
>The producers managed to persuade a number of alternative comedians such as Peter Richardson, Alexei Sayle, Rik Mayall, Julian Clary and Nigel Planer (all of whom except Clary are from The Comic Strip) to appear in the film.
Wow, I had no idea this existed. I assumed the Carry On films had pettered out in total ignominy in the '70s. I guess they still did, but then this other thing happened too.
>> No. 14009 Anonymous
12th September 2021
Sunday 8:06 am
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>>13999
Just making a point that even though it's a trope that's more or less died out in the UK it's not a uniquely 'merikan thing.

I think it's something that comes about naturally as a result of a culture where you have traditional nuclear families with stay-at-home housewives, the man controls all the finances so the wife finds other ways to try and control him. America just happens to have a lot more people still clinging to that way of life, especially out in the rural areas.
>> No. 14010 Anonymous
12th September 2021
Sunday 10:19 am
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I'm just coming back to point out that right this very moment (09:00-11:00), ITV3 is showing Carry On Follow That Camel, the one which bizarrely has Phil Silvers in it. I'm watching it and it's all over the place, with hilarious jokes followed by utter atrocities. And yes, it is politically unrepeatable.

On top of this, at 11:00 today, Film4 has Carry On Cabby, which was one of the first ones and is in black and white. I've seen that one before; it's about a taxi driver's wife who starts her own taxi business and is therefore relatively progressive. Anyway, you could have your very own Carry On mini-festival if you started 80 minutes ago and were extremely set on researching these things. It's like the TV people have been listening to us.
>> No. 14011 Anonymous
12th September 2021
Sunday 10:28 am
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>>14010
>It's like the TV people have been listening to us.

In that case, can they put on the Norman Wisdom film where he's a milkman? I like that one.
>> No. 14012 Anonymous
12th September 2021
Sunday 11:40 am
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>In early 2009, Carry On London or Carry On Bananas was once again 'back on', with Charlie Higson attached as director, and a different, more modern, cast list involving Paul O'Grady (as the acidic Kenneth Williamsesque character), Jynine James, Lenny Henry, Justin Lee Collins, Jennifer Ellison (as the saucy Barbara Windsor type), Liza Tarbuck (paralleling Hattie Jacques), Meera Syal, James Dreyfus, and Frank Skinner (filling in the Sid James role). Despite new media interest and sets being constructed at Pinewood film studios, the film once again was put on hold, and the project was abandoned after the death of Peter Rogers in April 2009.

I didn't realize Justin Lee Collins was still relevant in 2009.
>> No. 14013 Anonymous
12th September 2021
Sunday 11:58 am
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>>14012
He went to the theatre earlier in the month, the bastard.

https://metro.co.uk/2021/09/01/justin-lee-collins-seen-for-first-time-in-years-after-abuse-conviction-15187720/
>> No. 14014 Anonymous
12th September 2021
Sunday 12:09 pm
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>>14013
Are you not allowed hair conditioner if you've been convicted of a crime? Seems cruel and unusual if this is how you've got to look from then on.
>> No. 14016 Anonymous
12th September 2021
Sunday 9:28 pm
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>>14012
>Jennifer Ellison (as the saucy Barbara Windsor type)
That's a throwback to many a teenage wank.
>> No. 14020 Anonymous
13th September 2021
Monday 12:27 am
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>>14016

Never really fancied her TBH. She was too much like the girls I went to school with, or at least the ones who got picked up by older lads with Corsas and ankle tags. I suppose that was the appeal.
>> No. 14021 Anonymous
13th September 2021
Monday 1:55 am
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>>14020
That was the appeal for me. She reminded me of the chav girls from school who were absolutely bursting out of their school uniform, but who existed in a different social sphere to me.
>> No. 14022 Anonymous
13th September 2021
Monday 9:48 am
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>>14016

What on earth, lads? Her face is so small and squished up. She looks like a gremlin with a boob job.
>> No. 14023 Anonymous
13th September 2021
Monday 10:18 am
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>>14022
She never did it for me, but I can understand the appeal to a teenage boy of a lass who looks like the kind of slag who'd let you finger her behind the bike sheds.
>> No. 14024 Anonymous
13th September 2021
Monday 10:19 am
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>>14022
You wouldn't?
>> No. 14025 Anonymous
13th September 2021
Monday 1:12 pm
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>>14022
>Femlins
This is the kind of shit i expect to see at the moment of my death, when life flashes before the eyes and you realise above all else the reason of your being.
>> No. 14026 Anonymous
14th September 2021
Tuesday 5:15 pm
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I've been working in a snack factory for about two months now and I'm impressed that their workers on the primary production machinery consist of 3 longer term employees, myself and one other new guy...that just quit.
I don't expect all that much from factory work but a coherent plan to get and keep employees that run their production machinery might be one of the few things I do expect. It's a fair bit of stress being told to look after finnicky machines that all the production is reliant on, while hauling around tons of ingredients - often multiple times for one batch because their genius solution to get things from a mixer to a hopper is hauling it in a fucking bin.

otoh it was the easiest hiring process ever, I practically just walked in and I get paid on time.
>> No. 14027 Anonymous
14th September 2021
Tuesday 5:57 pm
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>>14026
Oh come on, what sort of snacks???
>> No. 14028 Anonymous
14th September 2021
Tuesday 10:38 pm
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>>14027

Wotsits and wotsit accessories
>> No. 14058 Anonymous
5th October 2021
Tuesday 7:54 pm
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I'm a health and social care job on a zero hour contract. I'm underemployed, but that isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is that there isn't a rota, it's all very ad-hoc. A client messaged me today asking why I didn't call them, but nobody in my organization told me I was meant to be ringing them today. I feel bad for the clients - when you're needing regular care, you don't want to be doing it with an organization that just doesn't turn up because communication is piss poor.
>> No. 14059 Anonymous
6th October 2021
Wednesday 5:48 pm
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Someone on one of the shared email accounts keeps subscribing to that Cortana daily digest thing.
>> No. 14060 Anonymous
6th October 2021
Wednesday 7:07 pm
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I'm helping out on a recruitment campaign at the moment and yet again that I'm having to intervene to make sure people get a fair shake. It's difficult for me to grasp at times that concepts like transferable skills, demonstrated initiative and even hiring someone on a promotion is a revolutionary concept. The worst part of it all is how you see the people you work with who talk a game about doing right but absolutely do not do it when it comes to themselves.

Don't even get me started on the cocky fucks who just roll up and absolutely do not play the game to demonstrate who they are but instead list their job in the expectation that they're the in-group so it's a sure-thing. You get managers who drool over them that I have to calm down by pointing out they didn't follow instructions and in all likelihood aren't nearly as hot-shit as they think they are.

Lesson about office life I guess, the people who actually do care - they're heartless bastards like me.
>> No. 14061 Anonymous
6th October 2021
Wednesday 10:10 pm
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>>14060
>Don't even get me started on the cocky fucks who just roll up and absolutely do not play the game to demonstrate who they are but instead list their job in the expectation that they're the in-group so it's a sure-thing.
This depends on what you mean by "play the game".
>> No. 14062 Anonymous
6th October 2021
Wednesday 11:28 pm
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>>14061
As in if I set up a flaming hoop of you telling me a time when you faced a challenge and how you overcome it during an interview for a management position then you'd better jump through it and not just tell me you do X which has an everyday problem and everything goes swimmingly because there's an established process.

I apologise to the fictional person who walks into the office everyday and never has any problem and never has to show initiative. You had the job description.
>> No. 14063 Anonymous
7th October 2021
Thursday 1:17 am
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>>14061
>>14062
None of that shit matters, because I know you will hire me if you like me, lad.
>> No. 14064 Anonymous
7th October 2021
Thursday 1:21 am
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>>14063
This is correct. Unfortunately, neither of us likes you so you're SOL.
>> No. 14065 Anonymous
7th October 2021
Thursday 1:25 am
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>>14064
Try telling them cunts who thought I would be good as a Director of a service in a Local Authority. I still don't know wtf I am doing 6 months in.
>> No. 14066 Anonymous
7th October 2021
Thursday 10:58 am
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>>14065

>local authority
>don't know wtf I am doing

Sounds like it fits you like a glove.
>> No. 14067 Anonymous
7th October 2021
Thursday 11:19 am
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>>14062
>As in if I set up a flaming hoop of you telling me a time when you faced a challenge and how you overcome it during an interview for a management position then you'd better jump through it

Perhaps it's because I'm in more of a technical role, but I haven't been asked that sort of question at a job interview in years. If an interviewer did start asking questions they want STAR answers to just to appease Gemma from HR I'd take that as a sign they're a bad company to work for because they don't really know what they're looking for in an employee and also wouldn't know how to find what they were looking for even if they did.

That said, when I've been involved in recruitment alongside senior management they tend to be the worst ones at interviewing because they'll just go on and on, not really find anything out about the candidate and then declare that they were great.
>> No. 14068 Anonymous
7th October 2021
Thursday 7:45 pm
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>>14067
There aren't really such things as technical roles anymore. Whatever field you're in, your primary currency is almost certainly dealing with other people.
>> No. 14069 Anonymous
7th October 2021
Thursday 8:01 pm
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>>14067
See I'd sooner have someone who can eventually be pointed in the direction of something and just get on with it. That might sound like a low-bar but it's really not, even if I have to train them up first it's still saving in the long-run.

>That said, when I've been involved in recruitment alongside senior management they tend to be the worst ones at interviewing because they'll just go on and on, not really find anything out about the candidate and then declare that they were great.

I once had a relatively new senior manager on the interview panel butt in to answer a question himself. Baffling people.
>> No. 14070 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 1:20 pm
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In a couple of weeks most of the company will be going back to the office, but on a rota where it's 2/3 days the first week and 3/2 days the second week. Everyone affected has to return all equipment they took with them when we started working from home last year, but will be given an 'extremely generous' taxable payment of £150 to buy a new computer for the days they will be working from home.
>> No. 14071 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 1:38 pm
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>>14070
>£150 to buy a new computer
Like a ZX Spectrum?
>> No. 14072 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 2:02 pm
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>>14070
What the actual fuck.
>> No. 14073 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 2:15 pm
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>>14072
It's expected that if you continue to work from home you have to supply all of your own equipment, otherwise you can work full-time in the office.
>> No. 14074 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 2:24 pm
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>>14073

You can make up the rest of the cost of the equipment by selling things at the tuck shop.
>> No. 14075 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 2:48 pm
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Found out with 1.5 hours notice that I have to see a client. I'm drunk already, so I'm going to have to mask my pissed state so as to not give a bad impression for the client.
>> No. 14076 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 3:29 pm
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>>14075

Cup of coffee and a cold shower and you'll be reet.
>> No. 14077 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 3:35 pm
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>>14073
But you just said there's a rota.
>> No. 14078 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 3:38 pm
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My work laptop's battery has died which I wouldn't mind but it keeps popping up that I'm on low battery. I can get the laptop replaced but now I need to mess about sorting all the files sitting on my desktop onto the cloud because I can't just use a USB. It's going to take ages because you know how it is with random pdfs and the like being downloaded and then forgotten. In the mess there's stuff I probably shouldn't delete and might even one day need.

I'm sure if I whinge about this to anyone at work some boss will give me the stock response of everything needs to be on the shared drive but fuck that shit.

>>14071
It's a taxable payment so I doubt there will be enough at the end even for one of those shagged out Dell's from a school IT lab in the 2000s.
>> No. 14079 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 3:39 pm
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>>14070
Is there some special legal limit of £150 for businesses? Like, for tax reasons or insurance purposes? My bike, worth maybe £350, was stolen from inside my work a couple of years ago. Everyone agreed it was a security failure on the part of my work. They offered to buy me a new one, up to the value of, you guessed it, £150 exactly. Admittedly those are the only times I have seen this exact cost mentioned, but it certainly is strange.
>> No. 14080 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 3:44 pm
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>>14077
There's a rota if you want to work from home for some of the week, the same two days every week plus alternative Wednesdays. However, they are letting people work in the office five days a week if they'd rather do that; I think it's somewhere around one-fifth opting for this.
>> No. 14081 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 4:24 pm
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>>14079
I've heard it in relation to christmas parties before -

https://www.gov.uk/expenses-benefits-social-functions-parties

But not sure if it applies elsewhere.
>> No. 14082 Anonymous
8th October 2021
Friday 4:44 pm
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>>14079

>Is there some special legal limit of £150 for businesses? Like, for tax reasons or insurance purposes?

Not that I'm aware of, but it's a fairly common spending limit for corporate credit cards - anything below that limit is a discretionary spend, but anything over it has to be formally approved.

Not coincidentally, a lot of business software has pricing tiers at £99, £149 and £199 per month.
>> No. 14083 Anonymous
10th October 2021
Sunday 4:13 am
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>>14073
This is BS. It's your employer's responsibility to ensure you have what you need to do your job. Tell them you're keeping the kit in lieu of their "extremely generous" payment offer.

If the equipment included a computer, make up some story about getting hit with ransomware or something and how you'd dread to think what would happen if hackers got hold of customer data that way. No company should ever countenance real customer data going on an employee's personal device. Failing that, just download all the data and sell it on a cybercrime forum for buttchips or doggies or whatever the dumb cool kids are using these days.
>> No. 14084 Anonymous
11th October 2021
Monday 9:03 pm
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They've cancelled the Christmas party this year, with the aforementioned rota system the justification for this. Anyway, someone has organised an unofficial pissup in December via WhatsApp and just about the entire company has been added to the group. Some of the directors have been added and they've said they'll come along; I think it's gone over their heads that part of the group's existence is to take the piss out of the fact that they're refusing to organise (and pay for) an official one.
>> No. 14085 Anonymous
11th October 2021
Monday 9:16 pm
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>>14084
Who's the joke really on, here? You're organising and paying for your own party now.
>> No. 14086 Anonymous
11th October 2021
Monday 9:20 pm
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>>14085
I'm not going either way.
>> No. 14087 Anonymous
11th October 2021
Monday 9:29 pm
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>>14085
Also, all Christmas parties are shit. Particularly those involving work colleagues.
>> No. 14088 Anonymous
12th October 2021
Tuesday 1:00 am
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My "boss" has been trying to organize an hour of "fun" for about 6 months now but staff changes and remote work attempts have "sadly scuppered the plans".

No one wants to tell yet another funny story of what happened recently, or open up about an unusual passion or present one of their fucking hobies for the umptienth time. Your plan to foster team cohesion around enforced "social" interactions are just not wanted. We already talk to each other, if you need to do this shit to justify your management job you could, and this is just a suggestion, do your fucking job nad be the transparent shit umbrella you're meant to be.
>> No. 14089 Anonymous
13th October 2021
Wednesday 12:37 pm
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I went to Morrisons to get a salad bar meal deal for my dinner but they didn't have any nice pasta so I've had to fill it up with grains and assorted spicy mush.
>> No. 14090 Anonymous
13th October 2021
Wednesday 9:07 pm
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Most of my workplace training/'wellbeing' seems to consist of watching TED talks these days. Incidentally, I cannot believe this thread has been up for over 10 years without it being mentioned.

I'm not entirely sure I can begrudge something that allows me to mute it and go do some work. Or more likely make a cup of tea and fuck about. But I find it lazy and TED in general makes me angry in a way I cannot quite put into words. I mean it's a load of bollocks isn't it? Enjoyed by the kind of cardboard woman who asks why can't we just cure the homeless by showing them a TED talk about mental wellness. It doesn't help that somehow the talks are more boring than filling out another MBTI.

>>14088
Behind the curtain he probably had to do this stuff. The powers that be want to hear reports on corporate culture and it's vibrancy. I suspect because like the old workplace 'family' ethos, a sense of tribal belonging compels workers to work longer and harder.
>> No. 14091 Anonymous
13th October 2021
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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>>14090
A mate of mine did a TEDx and insists that he did a TED.
>> No. 14092 Anonymous
13th October 2021
Wednesday 9:59 pm
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>>14091
Be sure to ask him how much he was paid to speak at the event where the audience members paid thousands of pounds to attend.
>> No. 14093 Anonymous
13th October 2021
Wednesday 10:58 pm
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>>14092
>TEDx
The university in question probably paid through the nose for the "affiliation" with TED, but the event was free and so was his contribution.
>> No. 14094 Anonymous
13th October 2021
Wednesday 11:01 pm
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>>14093
IIRC you don't pay anything for those, but they do have an odd rule about not being allowed to have more than a certain number of people in the room unless someone organising or speaking at your event has been to actual TED.
>> No. 14095 Anonymous
14th October 2021
Thursday 12:50 am
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>>14094
In any case, Mr "I've done a TED talk" needs knocking down a peg.
>> No. 14096 Anonymous
19th October 2021
Tuesday 1:28 am
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I feel torn. My work has been handing out raises and higher starting salaries to any fuckwit who spent the entire pandemic at home, while those of us who have been coming in every day and keeping the company running are quite openly treated as an afterthought. Now, petrol prices are going up, and anyone who doesn't drive in every day, or indeed at all, is getting richer than the key-worker gang even faster. We're the backbone of this company, and it's a tiny company (~15 people), and every day consists of just us and nobody else moaning about how utterly offensive it is that utter charlatans reap all the rewards of our hard work. And all our announcements and things, both internally and externally, are about how incredibly rich the company is and how they can't spend the profits fast enough. The parasite departments award themselves huge bonuses while we don't get a goddamn thing. So everyone has been annoyed for a while.

Today, we were all informed that we are, indeed, getting a raise. Just like the graphs on the news, our income is going to go up. And it's going to go up by 3%. For me personally, I put that into a calculator and it's probably going to be a little over £50 a month, before tax. I'm going to go from ~£27,900 a year to ~£28,600 a year, maybe even less depending on how they calculate it. In other words, it's not enough to give me the great life I believe I deserve. House prices are skyrocketing. Costs of living are going up too. I was hoping for maybe an extra two grand a year.

But they are giving me a raise. A derisory increase is still an increase, even if they give it to everyone and 3% of their salaries is more than 3% of mine in all but a couple of cases. So how can I possibly be angry about this fantastic news? We've all been raging for months about being ignored; now we're finally getting a bigger sniff and we're all acting like total ingrates. I certainly am. Do I really think the righteous sense of indignation that has now been taken away from me is worth more than £700 a year? I'm such a bastard, and yet, I can't bring myself to genuinely believe that I'm a bastard. This fabulous gift is something that I would have turned down if I had been involved in the negotiations, saying it's insulting. But of course I'm going to take it and it absolutely is better than a thumb in the anus from the people who treat us like shit.

Do you hate me? Or am I right?
>> No. 14097 Anonymous
19th October 2021
Tuesday 5:21 am
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>>14096
If you want a decent pay rise you have to job hop. A company won't pay you more than they feel they have to if you stay.
>> No. 14098 Anonymous
19th October 2021
Tuesday 5:41 am
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>>14096

How do you think the NHS lot feel.

Not that that makes it any better, you are right; but there are people out there getting shafted far worse, and they're people who we should all be FAR more thankful for.

If you really are that important to the company, why don't you just play hardball and demand more or else you'll walk out? If you're too afraid they'll call your bluff then, well, ball's in their court isn't it.
>> No. 14099 Anonymous
19th October 2021
Tuesday 11:30 am
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>>14097

This is harsh, but I think largely correct. My experience has been that the only leverage I have is the ability to leave for something better.

It kind of fits with my observations of the economy and power structures at work. We have little to no negotiating power through unions anymore. Loyalty is very clearly not valued at the majority of companies, as evidenced by the occasional "downsizing", purge of older staff, or unfair dismissal. Interpersonal relationships, arse-kissing, and general schmoozing might grant you some security and the occasional act of favouritism, but I don't think it's a viable way to plan a career. "Personal development" within a firm is often a bad joke, either through indifference, mismanagement, or very obviously being set up to benefit the company rather than the employee. Why on earth would it be otherwise? Provided you continue to show up and do your work, what incentive does a company actually have to care about what you, the individual, aspires to?

Since otherlad brought up the NHS, I will say in its favour that despite the majority of its staff being massively underpaid and undervalued, they do at least have a very transparent grading and promotion system so you know what to do to the next payband. Since going to the private sector, I've had to get used to some proper Wild West bullshit in which you're marketing yourself like a commodity to the highest bidder.

I don't mean to sound cynical, but I genuinely can't think of a reason why my employer would care whether I can afford a house or whether I'm bored every day, beyond it affecting my ability to continue doing what they want me to do. Any rhetoric layered on top of this very apparent basic arrangement is just management guff.
>> No. 14100 Anonymous
19th October 2021
Tuesday 5:49 pm
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I think I just accidentally talked myself into doing security auditing for work, I brought it up fairly casually in a meeting and now the site owners are adopting an "oh yeah? PROVE IT" attitude to stuff that could very easily be verified by just looking around themselves, and my company is into it because they're weirdos who think making extra work for service providers is a good idea.
>> No. 14101 Anonymous
20th October 2021
Wednesday 12:46 pm
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I've had an 8 page booklet through the post from HSL to let me know they're hiring and explaining why I should go and work for them. I guess the staffing shortages are really starting to bite.
>> No. 14102 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 12:29 pm
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I always nominate other people come bonus season for work they've done. Even making a special effort to write out a compelling justification so they get that proper message of 'good job' when it arrives. Doesn't need to be a bonus situation either, just a nice message of thanks to recognise someone as doing an important job can sometimes be very welcome.

The thing is that I rarely if ever receive it back. I know it sounds needy but I think one of the problems with the modern workplace is that people don't (or more likely can't) take the time to do the important things. Around me a lot of people when asked what they would improve about their job say that they just want to sometimes get positive affirmation from the people around them. It's gay but important.
>> No. 14103 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 12:38 pm
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>>14102
Couldn't agree more. It's not needy, it's just being a good citizen at work.
>> No. 14104 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 8:31 pm
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I've been doing some machine operating job for about 3 months now and I am not enjoying it at all. I'm nervous/anxious generally and the work environment is exacerbating it, in spite of most of the other staff being agreeable enough (minus the absolutey inane pettiness between the morning and evening shifts).
Thing is I initially thought I'd be fine with it, I understand most of the duties by now but I'm still not feeling comfortable and it's giving me actual headaches.
I'm just trying to excuse myself for looking for a job that will stress me out in a way I can deal with better.
>> No. 14105 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 8:50 pm
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>>14104
Become a post man.
>> No. 14106 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 9:16 pm
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>>14105

That would be the dream
>> No. 14107 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 9:20 pm
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>>14106
It was always my dad's dream for when British Aerospace inevitably outsourced his job. The chap just wanted to work outside.
>> No. 14108 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 9:24 pm
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>>14106
Knock yourself out. There's 155 postie vacancies around the country at the minute.

https://jobs.royalmailgroup.com/search/?createNewAlert=false&q=postperson&locationsearch=
>> No. 14109 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 10:13 pm
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>>14108

I applied a few years back. There was an aptitude test where you had to quickly parse and I think sort various addresses and so on, I think there were memory tests in there too.

Anyway, I failed them. I was quite put out by that, particularly because at the time my job involved using a fairly identical set of skills.
>> No. 14110 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 10:17 pm
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>>14109
>>14108

I had a chat with a postie earlier this year, he said not to sign up directly but with a particular company they outsource to. You'll have to figure out what that company is yourself as I can't remember.
>> No. 14111 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 10:56 pm
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>>14110
Angard?
>> No. 14112 Anonymous
21st October 2021
Thursday 11:06 pm
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>>14111
Have at ye!
>> No. 14113 Anonymous
22nd October 2021
Friday 8:56 am
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>>14111

I think it was somewhere slightly less obviously Royal Mail related but I'm really just guessing now, sorry.
>> No. 14118 Anonymous
27th October 2021
Wednesday 12:19 am
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>>14102
>bonus season
After reading your post, I made a point today to email the boss of the company and recommend that someone who isn't me should receive a Christmas bonus. Quite how this is going to go, I have no idea, but if he doesn't get one, hopefully we the people™ will get a reason that we can use in future, and if he does get one, then that's our foot in the door and maybe everyone else will get one too at some point. You might very well have achieved something wonderful with your post.
>> No. 14130 Anonymous
2nd November 2021
Tuesday 10:58 am
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My boss is a thick twat. He manages to get by through over-planning and being completely passive at dealing with other managers but it doesn't negate the fact that he's a thick twat and creates more work for me.

He was off sick last week and we managed to get much more done, we went off with our bits of work and I got to sit down and do it or otherwise palm it off on my subordinates. Now he's back it's not only much busier but I have to work around the general omnishambles he creates where every time I interact with him it involves some bullshit task I have to do rather than something to lighten the load.

I wish it was like the mirror universe in Star Trek and I could just murder him.
>> No. 14131 Anonymous
2nd November 2021
Tuesday 12:09 pm
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>>14130
>omnishambles
Someone took the time to create a several-paragraph wiki article on the history of this word.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omnishambles
>> No. 14132 Anonymous
2nd November 2021
Tuesday 12:51 pm
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>>14131
That might come in handy for people too young to watch adult TV and follow the news ten years ago.
>> No. 14133 Anonymous
2nd November 2021
Tuesday 2:49 pm
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>>14132
You sound like one of those people who gets angry when people censor swearwords online.

Well done though, you know your pop culture references really well. Sick references. Off the hook. Now fuck off you massive, gay twat.
>> No. 14134 Anonymous
2nd November 2021
Tuesday 3:35 pm
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>>14133
>you know your pop culture references really well

Are you waiting to receive my limp penis?
>> No. 14136 Anonymous
2nd November 2021
Tuesday 4:09 pm
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>>14133
I definitely don't and that was the point: it's a cultural touchstone that everyone old enough already knows.

Could you imagine yourself similarly explaining apropos of nothing any of its Word of the Year peers?
>> No. 14137 Anonymous
2nd November 2021
Tuesday 4:22 pm
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>>14136
You've just done it though, your point was wank. How can I be old enough to remember 'Bovvered' and too young to recall 'Omnishambles'? Because it's got nowt to do with age, all you're referring to is how much attention you were paying to the zeitgeist at the time.

All this from sharing something funny I found when attempting to recall where I first heard that phrase. Numpty.
>> No. 14138 Anonymous
2nd November 2021
Tuesday 11:53 pm
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>>14137

It's more just that you're admitting to everyone that you never watched The Thick of It.
>> No. 14139 Anonymous
3rd November 2021
Wednesday 10:13 am
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I didn't think I'd ever be enough of an old man to care about email sign offs, but "Brgds" is rude as fuck. You have a 30 line company signature complete with legal small print, but couldn't be arsed to add "best regards" to it?
>> No. 14140 Anonymous
3rd November 2021
Wednesday 11:18 am
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>>14139
>Brgds

Brigades?
>> No. 14141 Anonymous
3rd November 2021
Wednesday 12:01 pm
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>>14136
I don't know most of those American ones. I am 34. What's a locavore, for example?
>> No. 14142 Anonymous
3rd November 2021
Wednesday 12:28 pm
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>>14141
Someone who eats trains and the mentally ill.
>> No. 14143 Anonymous
3rd November 2021
Wednesday 6:14 pm
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>>14138
It's hardly a high barrier for entry, I wondered why you thought it was worth mentioning. I was hoping that calling you a massive gay twat would have precluded a response like this.
>> No. 14144 Anonymous
3rd November 2021
Wednesday 9:36 pm
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>>14143

>I wondered why you thought it was worth mentioning.

Because that's where it came from
>> No. 14149 Anonymous
4th November 2021
Thursday 10:57 am
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>>14136
Wait what? GIF? That's not a fucking word!
>> No. 14151 Anonymous
4th November 2021
Thursday 2:04 pm
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>>14149
Neither was the tears-of-laughter emoji they had a few years ago. The whole thing is a PR exercise to get people to buy dictionaries or whatever it is they're selling.
>> No. 14159 Anonymous
8th November 2021
Monday 4:06 pm
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I know compliance people are almost always oddballs but we've had a new compliance guy recently start at work and he just makes everything a massive ballache.

He'll take several sentences to say something he could have got across in a few words. He also has a habit of making everything he gets involved with awkward and overly-complicated, slowing them down for no real reason other than he wants to make his mark on things.
>> No. 14160 Anonymous
8th November 2021
Monday 4:26 pm
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>>14149
It most definitely is.
>> No. 14176 Anonymous
18th November 2021
Thursday 12:12 pm
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How much "homework" should you be expected to put up with at a job? I'm in a low skilled zero hour contract job in health and social care, and 15 minutes before a shift I get told I'm in charge of the client's benefits applications. I have received zero training on benefits, so they're expecting me to research it in my own time which seems kind of wanky.
>> No. 14177 Anonymous
18th November 2021
Thursday 12:35 pm
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>>14176
>How much "homework" should you be expected to put up with at a job?
If you're hourly paid, none whatsoever. Tell them that they need to clue you in or you can't be sure you're handling the client properly.

There's a severe shortage of care staff, and COVID/isolation is only making this worse, so it's not like they can afford to lose you.
>> No. 14178 Anonymous
18th November 2021
Thursday 12:42 pm
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>>14176

Absolutely none, if you are working you get paid for it. End of story. Don't stand for anything else. You have to be in a pretty important position before that changes, and even then doing it off your own back to try give yourself an edge, not just because it's expected.

It definitely shouldn't be part of your job, especially not for the kind of pay whatever agency you're contracted with is no doubt giving you. I'm fairly sure being asked to take responsibility over something like that with no training is against some sort of rules too, at least I would hope so.

Sadly a lot of the social care sector is in the hands of what can only be called cowboys these days. If they were builders they'd be the ones that ask for cash up front, dig up your garden, then drop off the face of the earth.

Stand your ground, there's a shortage of care workers right now, dare them to sack you.
>> No. 14182 Anonymous
3rd December 2021
Friday 2:47 pm
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Pre-coronavirus, my colleagues had a habit that I remembered recently and now I'm angry all over again. They mostly work from home now for 40 minutes a day and then just dick about, which is also annoying but in a different way.

But they used to always bring cakes in and refuse to eat them. They'd bring in 20-30 cakes, enough for a children's birthday party, and just say, "Hey, everybody! Eat all of these!" Sounds good, right? But they would never eat the cakes themselves. "Oh no, I couldn't eat a cake. I have to watch my figure. You eat one." I'd be in the middle of eating a microwave curry for lunch, and they'd storm in, reproachfully demanding to know why there are cakes left. But every single person in the entire company would also magically invent a diet that meant they couldn't eat the cakes either. I didn't; I would eat two or three. And then I'd have them shovelling 28 cakes at me like I'm a fucking wheelie bin. Piss off. Nobody wants your bloody cakes.

I recognise this is possibly the most minor complaint anyone has ever complained about ever in history, but I'm bloody glad they've stopped doing it. I can do without being blamed for wasting food as they tearfully bin 15 cakes they didn't even cook themselves, like that is somehow my fault when I'm the only person who ate even one.
>> No. 14183 Anonymous
3rd December 2021
Friday 4:39 pm
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>>14182

My lot still do this, but with biscuits - sometimes it's Jammie Dodgers, custard creams, that sort of thing, sometimes it's those Fox's selection boxes. They put them in the crew room and after some amount of casual conversation will directly offer you one, as if a load of fully grown adults in charge of various departments and hundreds of people would be too shy to pick up a bourbon and eat it unprompted, if they fucking wanted one.

There's a twist at my place, though - you'll come back half an hour later and all but one biscuit will have been eaten, I assume by the people who brought them in. It's a sick, disgusting mind game and I refuse to be part of it. Unless someone ever brings in some of those pink wafers, I've decided if that happens I'm just going to pick up a big fistful of them and waddle back to my desk, pink crumbs following me all the while.
>> No. 14184 Anonymous
3rd December 2021
Friday 5:22 pm
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>>14183
>as if a load of fully grown adults in charge of various departments and hundreds of people would be too shy to pick up a bourbon and eat it unprompted, if they fucking wanted one.

You say that, but it's quite common for people to wait for someone else to open a packet of biscuits. As soon as one person does this everyone else piles in.

I'm fully WFH now, but whenever I've had to briefly pop in the office to drop things off I've noticed they have at least two desks that seem to be constantly full of cakes. They're recently hired an absolute lech who is a sexual harassment case waiting to happen and he's got a habit of going up to the pretty girls with a chunk of brownie in his hand trying to encourage them to take it.
>> No. 14185 Anonymous
5th December 2021
Sunday 4:46 pm
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On weekends we work with a skeleton crew, so it's pretty hit and miss who you get. Today I've drawn the short straw of having the most boring set of fuckers and it's dragging like fuck.

The one I'm working directly alongside is one of those people who's as thick as porridge, completely fucking empty headed, they type where you can't even make jokes because they'll just look at you in confusion. It's honestly making the job harder just having to tolerate such a bland fucking person.

Oh well. Sundays are the most lucrative pay rate and I'm working every single one this month. Night shift on boxing day so I can still get pissed for Christmas as well as make that bank holiday double time bank. I suppose it's worthwhile in the end.
>> No. 14186 Anonymous
7th December 2021
Tuesday 10:59 am
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How much am I supposed to contribute to someone's retirement collection? There's someone else leaving this month as well. It does get out who has and who hasn't contributed to these things.
>> No. 14187 Anonymous
7th December 2021
Tuesday 11:48 am
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>>14186
If you don't like them - £0.
If you like them - £2.
>> No. 14188 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 4:44 pm
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I missed a call from a number I don't recognise on my work mobile a few hours ago. I've just rang them back and I had an old cockney bloke shouting abuse at me before hanging up.
>> No. 14189 Anonymous
21st December 2021
Tuesday 7:31 pm
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Messaging me for a quick chat at 5.30pm. No.
>> No. 14190 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 11:48 am
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I hate clients who tell me their whole life story on the phone. I know that if you want their money you are going to have to be prepared for a bit of banter and chit chat, and that's fine with me, but I had a slightly older woman this morning who went on for an inordinate amount of time about her family history and this and that. I often struggle to then just tell somebody, ok that's interesting, but let's get to the fucking point of this phone call, I've got about five other people that I need to call before noon.
>> No. 14191 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 1:12 pm
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>>14190
If it's an old-ish woman then you could be the only person she speaks to all day, humour them.
>> No. 14192 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 5:39 pm
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>>14191
The sooner AIs can converse with the lonely, the better.
Or, in this day and age, can't the terminally lonely phone each other?
Perhaps with some moderation to keep the scammers out. Oh gawd, it'd be a cesspit. Best stick with the AIs that just go 'hmm, that's nice'
>> No. 14193 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 6:08 pm
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>>14192
>> No. 14194 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 6:21 pm
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>>14192
hmm, that's nice
>> No. 14195 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 7:11 pm
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>>14192

>can't the terminally lonely phone each other?

OH EIGHT NINE ONE
>> No. 14196 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 8:15 pm
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>>14192
https://inews.co.uk/uncategorized/mental-health-charities-launch-loneliness-chatbot-on-whatsapp-1055270
Fair enough.
>> No. 14197 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 8:36 pm
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>>14196

If I was lonely and depressed because I had nobody to talk to, surely it would be uplifting to know that even charities
for the lonely can't be arsed anymore to have an actual person talking to me.

It's bad enough that they're already training AI to do remote medical diagnoses.
>> No. 14198 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 11:14 pm
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>>14195
I really wish I was stupid enough to dial FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY.

I have always rationalised it as a stupid shit version of IRC, but with people even more shouting into the void.
>> No. 14199 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 11:15 pm
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>>14195

>> No. 14200 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 11:25 pm
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>>14198

All those bright colours and the 90s, I assumed it was just a service for people whose ecstasy hadn't worn off when the afterparty finished.
>> No. 14201 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 9:09 am
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I've had to sign up for LinkedIn through work. 99% of it is completely awful, but this morning I saw "man close to retirement posts a picture with his hand on his much younger girlfriend's arse" and it's really tickled me.
>> No. 14202 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 11:05 am
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>>14201

That should make some prime rage bait.
>> No. 14203 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 11:52 am
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>>14201

Those baubles are fucking ridiculous.
>> No. 14204 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 1:19 pm
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>>14203
You're just jealous.
>> No. 14205 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 2:32 pm
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>>14203
Let her burn through his money as she sees fit.
>> No. 14206 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 4:15 pm
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>>14204

Nah, if I want to shag a woman I couldn't pull unless I was rich I just get an escort. Having a long term relationship based on that dynamic seems like a hassle. Imagine being near retirement age and being dragged around Dunelm by someone more than half your age looking for 18" wide baubles.
>> No. 14207 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 4:30 pm
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>>14201
That is hilarious though. She'll be gone in a couple of year.
>> No. 14208 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 4:45 pm
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>>14201
Phwoar she could erect my tree IYKWIM
>> No. 14209 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 4:53 pm
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>>14206

Those are balloons.
>> No. 14210 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 5:57 pm
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>>14201
I bet one of those presents is a LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE wall ornament. She probably already has the "This House Runs on Prosecco" door mat.
>> No. 14211 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 1:21 am
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>>14209

Putting balloons on a Christmas tree is even more mental than giant baubles.
>> No. 14212 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 2:19 am
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>>14211
It would certainly give the cat something to think about.
>> No. 14213 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 4:00 am
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>>14201
Porn really did a number on you mate.
>> No. 14214 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 8:29 am
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>>14210
According to her LinkedIn profile she's a "leader, author, educator and blogger" managing a nursery in Dubai.
>> No. 14215 Anonymous
4th January 2022
Tuesday 9:31 am
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First day back since before Christmas. I really, really can't be arsed to do anything.
>> No. 14216 Anonymous
4th January 2022
Tuesday 10:20 am
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>>14215
Ditto. But actually I felt the same before Christmas. Somehow no-one seems to mind.
>> No. 14226 Anonymous
6th January 2022
Thursday 2:57 pm
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How easy is it to start a union? The chairman is very anti-union, which makes it even more of a fun project for me to start one.
>> No. 14227 Anonymous
7th January 2022
Friday 1:32 am
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>>14226
Probably far easier to invite an existing appropriate union in - they'll be well into it, and it's probably quicker.
>> No. 14228 Anonymous
10th January 2022
Monday 9:59 am
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"I know it's short notice, but can you give an hour long presentation to ~100 people tomorrow despite only having a couple of hours of proper training on the material because one of our usual presenters can't make it due to something that was entirely foreseeable?"

I like the company I work for because of how informal and laid back it is most of the time, but the dysfunctional management means every now and then something will crop up that's last minute and will need urgently sorting.
>> No. 14238 Anonymous
13th January 2022
Thursday 1:57 pm
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My work are expecting me to do one hour shifts at a client's house. So I have to pay £5 on the bus, travel an hour each way, for a net profit of £5. Absolute wank.
>> No. 14239 Anonymous
13th January 2022
Thursday 2:22 pm
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Someone has started a "side hustle" as a Body Shop At Home consultant, which means they're constantly trying to sell their wares.

I'm not sure if they count as pyramid schemes, but selling things like this, Avon and Usborne Books always seem to be aimed at so-called mumtrepreneurs.
>> No. 14256 Anonymous
26th January 2022
Wednesday 12:53 pm
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I've been put onto a team at work I really didn't want to join, and for the first time since the days of working shitty supermarket jobs I find myself constantly counting down the hours until I can stop working, with days dragging on. They knew I didn't want to join this team and everyone else got their first choice but not for the first time in my life, and definitely not for the last, I've been forced to do something I didn't want to due to a 'business need'. They say in 12-18 months I'll be able to make my case for being moved, but I'm not sure I'll want to be there for that long. But, I'll never find anywhere that treats me as well as this, I imagine.
>> No. 14297 Anonymous
1st February 2022
Tuesday 11:40 am
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Staff turnover since the start of the first lockdown has been something ridiculous like 70% where I work. This has meant that the workplace culture, which has generally been one of the best things about working here, has completely changed.

Most departments are back in the office half of the week but my role means I'll be 100% working from home. Whenever I go in I only recognise about half of the people and just about everyone is sat working in silence, rather than having a laugh like we used to. I have no desire to get a job working in an office again, but I kind of miss the before times.
>> No. 14298 Anonymous
1st February 2022
Tuesday 12:46 pm
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>>14239

>I'm not sure if they count as pyramid schemes

It can be. Not all pyramid schemes are illegal though. You often have pyramid structures in multi-level marketing.

You should still avoid them like the plague though. At least as your main source of income. If you're a bored middle-class housewife whose basic financial needs are met, then maybe it's something to look into. But not to pay your bills every month.
>> No. 14299 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 12:25 pm
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Is it just the company I work for, or are people who work in administration generally a bit thick and incompetent?
>> No. 14300 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 12:33 pm
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>>14299
It is mostly just malicious compliance.
>> No. 14301 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 12:43 pm
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>>14300
It wouldn't surprise me if that's the case.

The admin team at work are definitely underpaid compared to other companies in the industry, so they're largely either young and inexperienced or too useless to get a better job elsewhere. They don't get properly trained either, with the 'solution' instead from management being to create checklists for everything and to discourage independent thought.
>> No. 14302 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 1:27 pm
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>>14299
I used to work in admin, the systems and procedures we had to follow were clunky and/or not fit for purpose. Like if a client sent us 300 pages of documentation, but they put their signature on the coversheet in the date section and the date in the signature section, we'd have to send the whole thing back for them to amend it. Even if it was a client where we know they're not dodgy and have worked with them extensively in the past, we had to adhere to the rules.
>> No. 14303 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 9:19 am
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women
>> No. 14304 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 9:37 am
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women.jpg
143041430414304
>>14303
>> No. 14305 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 3:14 pm
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>>14302

> Like if a client sent us 300 pages of documentation, but they put their signature on the coversheet in the date section and the date in the signature section, we'd have to send the whole thing back for them to amend it.


That's only prudent though, because you have to have the client's signature in the right spot for it to be legally valid.
>> No. 14306 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 3:27 pm
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>>14305
Not necessarily. You just need evidence that they agreed, and in that state they've given you a signature and a date.
>> No. 14307 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 3:51 pm
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I felt bad for a young lass in Boots today who was working the till. I asked her a few specifics about Voltarol pain relief gel, and she seemed a bit helpless looking that information up on her screen. She then asked her boss for help, and he came over and really made her look stupid and like she had no idea what she was doing. He then said to her, in a needlessly annoyed tone, "Go and help the other customers, I'll just do it myself".

I wouldn't have taken that from a boss. Not for long anyway, and especially not in front of a customer. It's just unprofessional. Maybe she is a bit thick on the job and this wasn't the first time that something like that happened where she was struggling to retrieve basic information from the computer. But I couldn't help noticing the gutted look on her face.
>> No. 14308 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 4:29 pm
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>>14307
You should have asked some harder questions. Fill your boots. No I did not just do that on purpose. But anyway: ask for the LD50 of E45 cream or something.
>> No. 14309 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 4:42 pm
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>>14308

>ask for the LD50 of E45 cream or something


You do know what an LD50 is?
>> No. 14310 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 4:57 pm
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>>14309
I know what the name means. You could always die from eating a whole tub of it or something. If LD50 has some special terms and conditions where it needs to be injected to count or anything like that, then so much the better for asking obnoxiously difficult questions.
>> No. 14311 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 5:01 pm
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>>14308
>>14309

At a very rough estimate, the LD50 of E45 is 16,667mg/kg. Ingested, not topical.
>> No. 14312 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 5:18 pm
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>>14311

If you were determined to kill yourself with a tub of E45, you'd be better off setting fire to it.
>> No. 14313 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 5:23 pm
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>>14312

If you could trick yourself into inhaling it, I think that's the most effective route.

It's an emulsified oil which means it's basically a kind of mayonnaise.
>> No. 14314 Anonymous
18th February 2022
Friday 5:47 pm
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>>14313

I suppose you could vape it if you really wanted lipid pneumonia.
>> No. 14320 Anonymous
22nd February 2022
Tuesday 5:07 pm
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I'm meant to apologise for being 'disrespectful' on Teams, but I'm finding it really hard to lower myself to it when I don't feel even remotely sorry.
>> No. 14321 Anonymous
22nd February 2022
Tuesday 5:39 pm
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>>14320
What happened?
>> No. 14322 Anonymous
22nd February 2022
Tuesday 5:55 pm
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>>14321
The 'IT department' at work is basically a couple of admin lads who've been given it as extra duties because the company is too tight to pay for a proper IT guy. They're a bit useless, to the point that when I asked something on Teams in the IT channel not too long ago I got a message from the person overseeing them saying "what they've responded to you with is completely wrong, but I didn't want to call them out for it."

Anyway, I've had a few issues with the servers recently (working from home) which I suspect is because it's all bodged on the cheap rather than anything at my end, but everytime I ask I'm told "the server is fine, it's your internet" despite the fact my computer is running smoothly outside of the server. I asked in the Teams channel for the department I'm in whether anyone else is having issues, because there's no point me asking IT because they'll blame my internet again when I paraphrased IT I tYpEd It LiKe ThIs, which got a couple of jokey responses.

Someone in the team was in the office and left their computer signed in on one of the board rooms, the admin team went into the room and saw the message. They complained to the person overseeing them, who raised it with my team leader and was told "what's the big fucking deal? They need to lighten up because far worse gets said in the office" so they took it higher and went crying this morning to the office manager, meaning I've been told I need to apologise to them.

It's all so mundane.
>> No. 14323 Anonymous
22nd February 2022
Tuesday 8:13 pm
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>>14322
That's just funny and ridiculous.
>> No. 14324 Anonymous
22nd February 2022
Tuesday 9:13 pm
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My work has a variety of online chat channels, including ones for different departments. So IT support, that's us, have our own one, and then there's also Technical, which is us plus IT guys who refuse to do any kind of customer service as well, and there there is Sales & Marketing, which none of us are in. But, through some fun oversight, it is a public group so we can all see it even though we're not in it. We can see what they say about us, and they don't know this. It's a great laugh, because we all have to go in every day and do our jobs for a set number of hours per day, while the stay-at-home shysters just fanny about for half an hour a day and then fuck off to the cinema or whatever. It really adds to the office bitterness against these twats who get paid more than us for doing a tenth as much. Anyway, if they actively chatted shit about us as a group, we would:
a) handle the bants
b) accept that we have said much worse about them
c) maybe, maybe, try to turn it to our advantage somehow
d) chat shit back instead of running and telling the teacher

How passive-aggressively can you apologise? You should apologise that way.
>> No. 14325 Anonymous
22nd February 2022
Tuesday 9:25 pm
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>>14324

>How passive-aggressively can you apologise?


>> No. 14326 Anonymous
22nd February 2022
Tuesday 9:43 pm
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>>14322

Just don't, and when you get chased up for not having done it, tell them you did do it, but that they must not have got the message. Because you know, something to do with your bad internet *shrug emoji*.
>> No. 14327 Anonymous
22nd February 2022
Tuesday 9:53 pm
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>>14326
Sounds like he needs to phone them directly to apologise since it turned out they were right from the outset.
>> No. 14328 Anonymous
25th February 2022
Friday 4:08 pm
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Someone I know has made a separate Instagram account for showcasing their work. They're a section manager at the local Asda.
>> No. 14329 Anonymous
25th February 2022
Friday 7:19 pm
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>>14328
What's wrong with that? Next you'll be mocking her large television.
>> No. 14330 Anonymous
25th February 2022
Friday 7:20 pm
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>>14328

Corporate entities love this sort of shit, they are probably making all the right moves to climb the ladder. They will be executive product visualisation manager in 5 years.
>> No. 14331 Anonymous
25th February 2022
Friday 7:46 pm
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>>14330

>executive product visualisation manager

Is that the person who makes the pyramids of baked beans?
>> No. 14332 Anonymous
25th February 2022
Friday 9:55 pm
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>>14331
No that's would be a product visualisation architect.
>> No. 14333 Anonymous
25th February 2022
Friday 11:42 pm
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>>14332

Oh, so they're the person who watches the person who makes the pyramid of baked beans.

Who plucks the chickens when the chicken plucker's late?
>> No. 14334 Anonymous
26th February 2022
Saturday 12:35 am
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>>14333

The leave relief poultry presentation agent.
>> No. 14335 Anonymous
28th February 2022
Monday 10:39 am
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kermit-freaking-out.gif
143351433514335
I was offered a job 2 months ago. I accepted it. It took them a month and a half to do my checks (i.e. right to work in the UK) and they rejected a few documents at first over very minor things. Now they've said that the checks are complete and the hiring manager will be in touch.

They've not been in touch, so I got in touch, and they're on leave, with no return date in their out of office.

I'm desperate to get confirmation I'm able to leave my current job which I'm done with.

How do I stay calm about things out of my control?
>> No. 14336 Anonymous
28th February 2022
Monday 10:40 am
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>>14335
That's pretty poor on their part, how annoying. I also recently took a new job (starting next Monday) so I feel your anxiety.
>> No. 14337 Anonymous
28th February 2022
Monday 10:46 am
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>>14336
I've already been in a bit of a dispute with the company's HR because they wouldn't accept printed out versions of the bank statements even though they're identical to the ones from in branch except it says online not in branch.

It's very stressful, until I've signed that dotted line I just feel it's not guaranteed and I'm getting very impatient but don't want to come across as a nob chasing the new manager so vigorously.

Anyway, I'll stop blogging. Hope your new job goes well and congrats.
>> No. 14338 Anonymous
28th February 2022
Monday 10:58 am
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>>14335

>How do I stay calm about things out of my control?

Embrace stoicism.
>> No. 14339 Anonymous
28th February 2022
Monday 11:38 am
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>>14338

Not very stoic to go around hugging things, lad.
>> No. 14340 Anonymous
28th February 2022
Monday 12:31 pm
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>>14337
>It's very stressful, until I've signed that dotted line I just feel it's not guaranteed

I had similar with this new role - had the full-nine-yards DBS check as it's faintly related to healthcare and children. I don't have a criminal record (yet, ha!) but the whole waiting for it to come through, all the various checks that I knew I would pass, but hadn't until I did was super duper stressful.

>Hope your new job goes well
Thanks, so do I. I resigned before I got it (as I had three months notice), and while I had tons of interviews and interest from good companies, it still took almost six weeks to actually get this one signed, sealed and delivered. The job market is great right now, particularly if you're technical - it's way easier to find remote-only/mostly jobs, without any penalty on salary; doesn't make the process itself any easier.
>> No. 14341 Anonymous
1st March 2022
Tuesday 7:38 am
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lynx.jpg
143411434114341
LinkedIn continues to be really fucking weird.
>> No. 14342 Anonymous
8th March 2022
Tuesday 1:18 pm
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I joined one of the many International Women's Day meetings online at work today to ask why in wars such as currently in Ukraine, it is the men that have to stay and fight. Surely a woman in her 20's could hold a gun and fight just as well as a 60 year old man. If you want gender equality then you must be ready to take the rough with the smooth. I might as well have driven over their numerous cats they live with, alone, the looks I got.
>> No. 14343 Anonymous
8th March 2022
Tuesday 1:47 pm
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>>14342

You might have made the point in a really crude way, but yeah, there is an obvious gender bias at work during emergencies and wars.

I probably wouldn't frame the question as participating in war being a precondition for equality, as brutally true as that has been historically for the majority of men. Then again, I wouldn't know how to broach the topic to begin with, so well done for having the stones to point out the oversight and hypocrisy at all.
>> No. 14344 Anonymous
8th March 2022
Tuesday 3:09 pm
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>>14342
If men were among the refugees, we wouldn't be anywhere near as willing to accept them.
>> No. 14345 Anonymous
8th March 2022
Tuesday 3:19 pm
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>>14344

Really? Look at those mainly fit young men coming over on dinghies from war torn France, leaving their women behind, being kept in hotels at a cost of £5 million per day whilst they wait for a free house. The majority of 'refugees' entering our country are fighting age men.

https://asylumineurope.org/reports/country/united-kingdom/statistics/
>> No. 14346 Anonymous
8th March 2022
Tuesday 3:52 pm
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>>14345

That poster was talking about Ukrainian refugees and you just made his point.
>> No. 14347 Anonymous
15th March 2022
Tuesday 9:49 am
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Friday will mark two years since I started working from home and I haven't worked a day in an office since. I think my working pattern has been completely fucked; some days I'll waste a few hours scrolling on my phone or reading, other days I'll effectively down tools around half 3 and laze near my computer in case I get any calls or emails I need to deal with, some days I find myself working past 6pm because I have things I need to finish off and I've spent the day dicking around. For these past two years I've had my girlfriend at home with me, but in a couple of weeks she starts a new job so I'll be alone most of the time and I worry I'm either going to lose my mind or my behavior will worsen. It's a given that I'll be wanking myself silly until the novelty wears off.
>> No. 14348 Anonymous
15th March 2022
Tuesday 4:31 pm
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>>14347
I was also thinking about the two-year anniversary of the pandemic; my working patterns have completely changed for the better though, and I just started a remote-only job; think I've spent fewer than four days in the office in the past two years. Thank fuck I don't have to commute on the train anymore.
>> No. 14349 Anonymous
15th March 2022
Tuesday 8:54 pm
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>>14347
It's okay, Anon, .gs will be your gf.
>> No. 14350 Anonymous
15th March 2022
Tuesday 10:46 pm
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>>14347
The pattern I quickly fell into was 10-5 where I'm spending an hour or so during that wanking and on the internet, I'll then catch-up from about midnight to 2. Some days I have to break this and work later but most days I can close my laptop at 5. It depends on whether I get into a huge internet-fights on arse-pissing fora during the day.

I wish I could get up earlier so I'm not so groggy but I just accepted that it's not going to happen.

>It's a given that I'll be wanking myself silly until the novelty wears off.

Nah, it's the snacking and refreshing internet sites that you need to watch out for. Depending on how judgemental your Mrs is you may instead come to know the pleasure of taking the laptop in when you go for a nice long poo.

>>14348
>Thank fuck I don't have to commute on the train anymore.

The worst part for me is how expensive lunch and coffee is. It's "voluntary" for me to be in with the team a few times a month and by that I mean the culture just forces you by default. So of course I'm going to get a big coffee when I get in and of course because it's a special 'let's hang out' day so we'll go someplace nice for lunch - easily £15 before I even go for a pint with people I don't like.

Hard to believe how much those bastards must've been racking in over the years.
>> No. 14351 Anonymous
16th March 2022
Wednesday 3:52 am
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>>14350

>Hard to believe how much those bastards must've been racking in over the years.

Yes, if the pandemic has shown us anything, it's that restaurants and cafés were doing exceptionally well beforehand.
>> No. 14352 Anonymous
16th March 2022
Wednesday 2:56 pm
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>>14348
I've had a commute of <15 minutes in most of the jobs I've had, so the main benefit for me is not having to spend money on petrol or time getting ready.

>>14349
Thanks, lad. If you can pack it in about class for five minutes I promise I'll give you a right proper arse pissing.

>>14350
I don't have a work laptop, but I generally take my phone to the bathroom with me when I fancy watching porn. She was out for a few hours yesterday and I ended up wanking twice in that time.
>> No. 14373 Anonymous
31st March 2022
Thursday 3:09 pm
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I have a couple of Spanish clients at work and I have no idea what they're saying most of the time. Their accents are ridiculously thick and I have to really pay attention to try and process the words coming out of their mouths. It's surprisingly draining to have to concentrate that hard just on having a conversation.
>> No. 14374 Anonymous
1st April 2022
Friday 12:12 am
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Someone wrote a poem from the perspective of the office, and left it on the printer. It's one of the worst things I've ever read.

A selected verse:
The rooms and chairs are empty
My family's far away
I hope they'll come back some day
For work, and cake, and play.

It's just... emblematic of a culture I really do not understand -- actually wanting work -- it's just such an uninspired piece of writing; a rigid ABCB rhyming scheme and just painful to read.

I guess it's the issue of being a working class kid in a middle-class space; I was always raised to see work as an adversarial environment, where the bosses squeeze you for every drop you can whilst you fight to stay sane. I experienced that in shitty supermarket and agency jobs in school and uni. Now, it's a white-collar (realistically no-collar) office job, full of people who were never raised to see work like this, but I still can't remove that utterly cynical part of myself.

Like... who seriously wants to be in an office? Who wants to work? I'm really struggling to succinctly put into words what I mean here, but I cannot get inside the head of someone who actually enjoys going to work and wants to be in the office, no matter how interesting the work is. Sure, I'm lucky now that the work I do can be interesting and engaging, but that interest and engagement doesn't extend to supporting and rooting for corporate 'culture'. I could never anthropomorphise the office, and can't even imagine what's it's like to be someone who enjoys that.
>> No. 14375 Anonymous
1st April 2022
Friday 4:55 am
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>>14374

>who seriously wants to be in an office?

The same kind of people who actually enjoyed school.
>> No. 14376 Anonymous
1st April 2022
Friday 9:13 am
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>>14374
>Like... who seriously wants to be in an office? Who wants to work?

I'd say a lot of it depends on your colleagues and whether they make it tolerable. The last office I worked in was very informal and my team was about dozen people that were largely the same age and on a similar wavelength. I wouldn't say I looked forward to going to work, but I didn't dread it as most days we'd have a pretty good laugh.
>> No. 14377 Anonymous
1st April 2022
Friday 9:45 am
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>>14374
Leave a scathing review or counter-poem on the same printer. Be sure to share it here and tell us what happens.
>> No. 14378 Anonymous
1st April 2022
Friday 10:37 am
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>>14377
May I suggest it end with:

And it’s then there’s no way I can dodge
A lonely wank in the office bogs

>> No. 14379 Anonymous
1st April 2022
Friday 11:01 am
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>>14377
>counter-poem
And you said you weren't middle class.
>> No. 14380 Anonymous
1st April 2022
Friday 7:18 pm
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How was this poem left on the printer? Could someone who works from home have written their ode to the office, then sent it to be printed at the office, seen only by the people who are actually in? That would be a whole new level of office banter.
>> No. 14381 Anonymous
2nd April 2022
Saturday 2:16 am
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I found out today that my new boss is under 30 and has never had a proper job before because she came up on a grad-scheme. She's in a job that I actually applied for and which my previous boss also applied to made permanent in post but neither of us even got passed the sifting. This isn't the first time I've encountered this, my career has a grad scheme that deliberately creates a separate class of people so even if someone is on the same rank as me they'll have different opportunities and frequently be put in as my superior even if they're newer to the post.

Obviously on the face of things the grad scheme is supposed to boost diversity in senior ranks but I'll let you guess the percentage of those I've encountered who come from posh backgrounds. It's equally bad where there is good diversity in the most junior ranks but you can guess where the diversity ends and where the ladder is kicked out. The whole thing just fills me with a burning frustration, it's always the fucking same and while I've worked hard to come up from a working class background where everyone dismissed my ideas it's still kids blowing past me with ease because I don't have the right handshake.
>> No. 14382 Anonymous
2nd April 2022
Saturday 6:14 pm
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6pm on a Saturday and my mother-in-law has rung to complain about her week at work. This is after calling several times during the week to moan about it. She has literally nothing else going on in her life.
>> No. 14383 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:09 pm
14383 spacer
>>14382 here again.

No prizes for guessing who's on the phone right now.
>> No. 14384 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:16 pm
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>>14383
If she's speaking to her daughter, then that's fair enough. It's good to have a good relationship with your parents, and it's nice to be nice to them even if they are boring. You've got yourself a winner here.

If the mother-in-law is talking to you, then that is straight-up mental. Hang up immediately.
>> No. 14385 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:27 pm
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>>14384
The main reason she calls is because she has nobody else to talk to. She's been single for over 25 years and the council keep shifting where she works because people keep taking out grievances against her as it sounds like she's a massive jobsworth.

I don't think it's a healthy relationship. After the divorce she neglected my other half for years and used to lash out at her, losing her temper and pulling her hair and slapping her about. There's a fair bit of emotional manipulation and guilt tripping going on these days. She's a little woman so she looks quite unassuming, but she's unpleasant and has brought it upon herself.
>> No. 14391 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 4:54 pm
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If payday falls on a weekend/bank holiday, should you get paid the working day before the weekend/bank holiday, or the working day after it ends?
>> No. 14392 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 5:14 pm
14392 spacer
>>14391
Whenever your employer wants.

Most places I've worked at would always pay on the last working day before the usual pay date. There's nothing to stop a company paying the working day after but it would be unusual and rub most employees up the wrong way.
>> No. 14397 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 6:35 pm
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Two things at the moment:

- I'm fed up of being harassed for money. If it isn't a collection because it's someone's birthday, wedding, they've had a knee operation or squeezed out a kid, it's someone raising money for charity by using something they enjoy doing but don't want to pay for themselves as a fundraiser.

- Anyone obsessed with doing a side hustle. Fuck that.
>> No. 14412 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 6:08 pm
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I was speaking with the lad who does my admin and, during his recent appraisal, he was criticised by the office manager for not saying "good morning" loud enough when he comes into work.
>> No. 14413 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 7:38 pm
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I have to do CPD for my job, a certain amount every year. A lot of the accredited CPD courses are pricey (considering my own income and the face it's a zero hour contract), it seems odd that I'm expected to shell out £200 on courses relevant to my role just for the sake of it.
>> No. 14414 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 8:06 pm
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>>14412
Inversely I've been doing work appraisals all week and I've got the final 3 to do tomorrow. I'm Glad to see the back of them for another 12 months.
>> No. 14415 Anonymous
24th May 2022
Tuesday 12:44 am
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My boss has gotten into the Economist big-time to the level he has 2 junior employees doing a digest of articles and seems to believe it's some guidebook to understanding investors.

>>14412
I was criticised today during my much delayed appraisal because I once joked that nobody is happy to be in on a Monday during our Monday check-in. I've had many appraisals and conducted many and yet I've never heard something so daft.
>> No. 14416 Anonymous
24th May 2022
Tuesday 2:39 am
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>>14415
Could be worse, he could have gotten into The Spectator and you'd be in a concentration camp by next month.
>> No. 14417 Anonymous
24th May 2022
Tuesday 11:25 pm
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Does anyone else have a co-worker that seemingly everyone agrees is good at their job, or perhaps an expert at some particular niche within the job, but you have only ever experienced them being a completely thick cunt, and suspect they have their reputation as "the expert on x" simply because nobody else can be fucked to learn about x?

I feel like I'm losing my mind.
>> No. 14418 Anonymous
26th May 2022
Thursday 3:06 pm
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>>13558>>13560 here again.

He called me on Teams today and I got his thoughts on the invasion of Ukraine. I didn't entirely pay attention to what he was saying, but he started off on about how Ukraine shouldn't have got rid of their nukes when the Cold War ended and then tried to join NATO; they should be like Turkey and play both sides against each other so they always come out on top. Something about the Monroe Doctorine and the Minsk agreement. It's not actually Russians they're fighting in Dnipro but other Ukrainians, imagine if Scotland voted to leave the United Kingdom and we sent the army in on them, but Ukraine never made any real effort to integrate the East of the country with the West because they weren't pushed to learn Ukrainian in schools they they're largely Russians anyway. Putin's always set out what his red lines were. We've only sanctioned ourselves and made us poorer. Something about the US are playing a blinder because they're taking over oil and will be pumping it out like the 50s again.

Anyway, he's going to send me some YouTube videos of someone who outlined exactly what was going to happen. Apparently he's almost as good as Are Nige.
>> No. 14419 Anonymous
26th May 2022
Thursday 3:08 pm
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Oh, and don't listen to any teachers moaning about the cost of living because their job is recession-proof. There's not suddenly going to be a shortage of kids.
>> No. 14420 Anonymous
26th May 2022
Thursday 3:10 pm
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>>14418

>play both sides against each other so they always come out on top

Isn't that an Always Sunny reference?
>> No. 14421 Anonymous
26th May 2022
Thursday 3:17 pm
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>>14420
Yeah, that was me summarising what he'd said about it. His explanation was more long-winded and had more emphasis on Ukraine being fools.
>> No. 14422 Anonymous
27th May 2022
Friday 12:28 pm
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I do care work type stuff. Travelled 90 minutes to see a client yesterday. Knock on her door, her mum answers, looks shocked. "Were you expecting me?" I asked. "No, I told your manager this already". I rang my manager, confused. He said the client didn't want to see me anymore, he just didn't get around to telling me. Felt like a total fucking mug. I don't mind the client not wanting to see me, you can't gel with everyone, just fucked off that management didn't think it appropriate to tell me.
>> No. 14423 Anonymous
30th May 2022
Monday 12:09 pm
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With all your posts in this thread recently about appraisals, perhaps I should tell you what just happened in mine. Every day, we all rage that we're not paid enough. The boss himself asked me how unionising works last week, and if we could go on strike. He has also loudly announced, "If anyone plans to ask for more money in their appraisal, here are some arguments that would really support your case!" So today, I, the world's most docile and subservient employee, suggested that the job should have more opportunities for us to develop and become deserving of a raise. The boss's response was that he asked the higher bosses last week how much more he could offer us, and the answer was zero.
>> No. 14424 Anonymous
30th May 2022
Monday 12:27 pm
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>>14423
For most people the only way to get a decent pay rise is to change jobs.
>> No. 14425 Anonymous
1st June 2022
Wednesday 9:46 pm
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>>14423
My appraisal included being told that I'll get a letter which will explain how being forced to work from home will be good, actually.

Two months later the letter arrives and it refers to the meeting as being the time I was given the information and acknowledges my supposed approval.
>> No. 14426 Anonymous
2nd June 2022
Thursday 1:17 am
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>>14423
Kill them.
>> No. 14427 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 1:16 pm
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New IT policy at work means the company reserve the right to fully search personal computers if they're used working from home.
>> No. 14428 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 3:03 pm
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>>14427
Tell them you accept the policy, subject to the proviso they get a warrant or fuck off.
>> No. 14429 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 3:15 pm
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>>14427
Did they email everyone with that policy? If so, reply all (make sure you reply all) to ask for a company laptop that will be separate from your personal computer. Even if they say no, it will be public that you disagree.
>> No. 14430 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 3:27 pm
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>>14429

Unless they offer you a company laptop, then their IT policy is blatantly illegal. It's questionably legal to begin with.

>>14427

Talk to your union rep. If you don't have one, join a bloody union.
>> No. 14431 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 4:07 pm
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>>14430
If it's a company laptop, it's no different from any other company computer, and you have no expectation of privacy.

If it's a personal laptop, they can absolutely go do one.

Any company that even half cares about security knows better than to let proprietary company information leak onto a computer they don't control.
>> No. 14432 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 4:19 pm
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>>14430

>It's questionably legal to begin with.

Unfortunately, that's not the case.


https://www.worktime.com/12-most-asked-questions-on-uk-employee-monitoring-laws#C2

> In the UK, monitoring company computers is permissible by law. Employers have the right to ensure that computers in the workplace are used appropriately and not improperly. However, before implementing the monitoring, employers must first discuss this with their employees and clarify the monitoring. These reasons should be legitimate and in line with the business goals. Employers are also required to establish written policies on the use of work computers by employees, and employees should sign these policies accordingly.


At my job, I don't think I've ever witnessed somebody having their work computer searched. Everything seems to function on a don't ask-don't tell basis, and when I was hired, I merely had to sign for receiving my laptop and there was some fine print that I would not use it for purposes that are irreconcilable with work, or that I wouldn't violate laws while using it.

I did install a wipe software on it, I splashed out for a fully licenced copy of East-Tec Eraser, so that whenever there is mildly questionable data in my browser history or in my system traces when I go in to work, I can remove it worry free.

As far as Internet browsing, I still work from home most days, but our network admin at the office has told me that he was only asked by management to block porn sites and material that is clearly illegal. He never really actively goes through traffic data.
>> No. 14433 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 4:26 pm
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>>14429>>14430>>14431
They don't provide anything like laptops. I posted earlier in the thread (>>14070) about them providing people with a one-off payment of £150 to buy equipment if you wanted to continue working from home in some capacity. They offer home working but they do what they can to discourage it.
>> No. 14434 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 4:32 pm
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>>14432
>I don't think I've ever witnessed somebody having their work computer searched.
You won't necessarily witness it. Depending on the network and bossware setup involved, they can do it remotely or they can just search the logs.
>> No. 14435 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 5:19 pm
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>>14432

>Unfortunately, that's not the case.

From your own quote, "employers must fist discuss this with their employees and clarify the monitoring. These reasons should be legitimate and in line with the business goals". Blanket policies giving them the right to search your devices at any time for any reason are not lawful.

Monitoring of work IT activity is legal, but only within very narrow constraints. RIPA, the DPA and the GDPR still apply, regardless of what your contract might say. Even with consent (which must be freely given and freely revocable to be valid), any data processing must be limited to what is absolutely necessary for the stated purpose. Personal data is still personal data, even if it's gathered when you're on the clock at work.

A bare minimum of a lawful policy might look something like this: "If you work from home, you can only access work systems via our virtualisation software. Anything you do within that virtualisation environment is retained for a period of X months for compliance purposes. We may choose to review relevant parts of that data or monitor your activity in real time if we have reason to suspect that you are engaged in activity that may be illegal or contrary to our policies. All such data access will be logged and audited. If you want to see what data we hold on you or request the deletion of data, please contact Mr X."
>> No. 14436 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 8:38 pm
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>>14435

This sort of thing is what unions are great for. But I bet none of you office plebs are in a union, are you?

Well, you want to get one, or else you'll be living in corporate 1984 before you know it; except without any edgy ironic tongue-in-cheekness about it, just literally 100% actually for real.
>> No. 14437 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 10:47 pm
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Replying to a very obvious email containing lots of people to say 'please take me off this list' and then being one of the people that continues to hit reply all should be a discipline worth offence.

Maybe acceptable in 2005 when email was still quite scary but not now
>> No. 14438 Anonymous
7th June 2022
Tuesday 11:53 pm
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>>14437

Oh fuck, do we work for the same company? This happened to me today, it was even worse because it was a load of different locations responding with "this isn't something I can answer because I'm not in Catalonia" despite the original email being very clearly meant for Catalonia and mistakenly including others.

I suppose I should add emailing EVERYONE by accident to 101 too. Like you say, it's not 2005, there's no excuse. Outlook even tells you when it thinks you're sending things to the wrong people now.
>> No. 14439 Anonymous
8th June 2022
Wednesday 12:11 am
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>>14436
My boss asked me how unions work and if we could form one (>>14423), but since there are four of us and we don't want to team up with other, larger companies, it didn't go anywhere. So not only am I not in a trade union, but it's entirely my fault that none of my work colleagues are either. I also have the same birthday as Margaret Thatcher, just by pure coincidence.
>> No. 14440 Anonymous
8th June 2022
Wednesday 12:38 am
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>>14439

If anyone is wondering, you can join a union as an individual even if your employer doesn't have a union recognition agreement. You'll enjoy the same benefits as any other member, including employment rights advice and legal support.

https://www.unitetheunion.org/why-join/
>> No. 14441 Anonymous
8th June 2022
Wednesday 11:45 am
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>>14439

>since there are four of us and we don't want to team up with other, larger companies

I mean the whole point of a union is having the most people on your side as possible. That's the entire purpose. It'd be a bit of a shit union if it was just the four of you.

Aside from the fact you sound like a bit of a set of berks, I would highly recommend you all join whatever the general union is for your sector, and let your colleagues know about it. I can see the economic turmoil of the next few years making unions quite relevant again, and regardless of your political leanings, you want to look after your own interests.
>> No. 14442 Anonymous
8th June 2022
Wednesday 5:04 pm
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Does anyone actually have 8 hour days anymore? I don't mean some bollocks where you clock out at lunch so you work until 9-530 but an actual 9-5.
>> No. 14443 Anonymous
8th June 2022
Wednesday 5:44 pm
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>>14442
I've never had a full-time job that was more than 35 hours.

I did have a colleague who left for a job with a higher salary, but he didn't realise his hourly rate was going down because he'd have to work an extra 2.5 hours a week. As where we worked offered overtime at time and a half if he'd stayed put and done 37.5 hours he'd have been on more than his new position.
>> No. 14445 Anonymous
8th June 2022
Wednesday 6:10 pm
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>>14442
Yes? Though Fridays are six.
>> No. 14449 Anonymous
11th June 2022
Saturday 1:55 pm
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What are some of the more annoying ways you've been fired from jobs?

One occasion I just remembered was that I was on my way into work on a Friday morning, a 35-minute commute by car no less, and my supervisor suddenly called me and said "I'm afraid we don't need you here today". So I said, "what do you mean? We've got a report due this afternoon. And besides, I'm almost there now". So he said, "Yeah, I thought you would be, but still... take the day off, we'll get back to you". It wasn't until the afternoon that day that I got hold of his assistant, and she said, "Oh, he didn't tell you? They've decided to let you go". And then the next day, I got a letter in the post giving me my termination in writing, citing "a tendency of below-satisfactory job performance".

I understand nobody likes firing people, but at least have the guts to tell me up front and don't beat around the bush. Up to that point, I was given no hint at all that somebody wasn't happy with my job performance. It was a junior position just out of uni, but full time and full salary nonetheless. It was ok because I wasn't emotionally invested in that job, but to me it still seemed like a cowardly way to fire someone. It was probably an unfair dismissal too, but after all that, I really didn't want to have anything more to do with them. I pinned down a new job offer two weeks later, so that was that.
>> No. 14450 Anonymous
11th June 2022
Saturday 2:17 pm
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>>14449

Somewhere in the loft, I've got a P45 from my dad. My name is misspelled. It won't surprise you to learn that we haven't spoken in years.
>> No. 14451 Anonymous
11th June 2022
Saturday 2:49 pm
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>>14449
I've never been fired, although my first job was as a Christmas temp for Toys R US and I was one of the people they let go early rather than extending it for a few more weeks. The managers were complete jobsworths and would criticise anyone who wasn't power walking around the shop floor.
>> No. 14452 Anonymous
11th June 2022
Saturday 3:43 pm
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>>14449
Took several weeks off due to mental health issues. Had to do an occupational health assessment when I returned. First assessor was a nurse, said I was not fit for work. Second assessor a psychiatrist, said I can work but only part time, and there is a chance I will be ill in future. I did a phased return for a month, working 5 hour days, then had a hearing with some HR woman from another office, who said they can't continue to employ me because I may be ill in future. This was after 6 weeks of perfect attendance in a part time role.
>> No. 14453 Anonymous
11th June 2022
Saturday 3:57 pm
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>>14449
I have a similar story. It was my first IT job, I was 28 years old, and I was in the Altrincham office while my boss was down south in the Redhill office. There had been a fair bit of office politics, and my boss's boss had recently "left the company" to much shocked gasping, because apparently he was the one who stuck up for us all through the endless corporate backstabbing that apparently took place. I didn't really know much about any of this, because I'd only started working there a few months earlier, but I knew I'd been hired mainly because a large number of employees there had quit following a contract dispute and I was one of the 15-20 people brought in to replace them. (The whole company had around 200 employees, to give you an idea of the size).

I was called into a room, again on a Friday but at least it was the afternoon, for some sort of conference call. It was my boss's boss's boss (pretty wild when the company only has 200 staff total, but they did love their complicated staff hierarchy pyramid), and he said, "Hey there, I've got your boss on the line and he has something to say to you." He sounded pretty awkward, and apologised for being in the other office rather than there in person, but he was really sorry and they were terminating my employment, effective immediately. It's not anything to do with my performance; it was just happening. We talked a bit more about my time there and how I'd found it, since I was still new, and then I said my goodbyes to my boss and my boss's boss's boss, and hung up.

The HR lady was waiting outside for me, and said, "God, what a day." I know, I agreed; I've just been fired. "I know, and I've had to have this with a dozen people already today, and I'm not done yet." I felt really sorry for her, which was weird since she was staying and I was going. But I did like her; she was lovely and very much my kind of person. I went and got my stuff, said goodbye to the other guys, and was escorted from the premises.

I emailed a couple of others who weren't there, to say goodbye to them too. I got a reply from one who said that loads of people had been fired and everyone else was worried and miserable. Over a month later, I got my P45 and a letter than my employment was being terminated "due to unsatisfactory work performance". It didn't occur to me for ages that my boss had said literally the exact opposite to me while sacking me, and that I had an employee appraisal from a month or so earlier which backed this up. Like with you, I probably could have sued over it, but I didn't. It also occurred to me about a year later that my boss was quite possibly being interviewed for my boss's boss's job at the time, and they were testing him by getting him to fire me. That's exactly the sort of thing that company would do.
>> No. 14454 Anonymous
11th June 2022
Saturday 4:42 pm
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>>14452

A friend was working in middle management for a Murrikin company's UK offices, and at some point, he started developing a degenerative neural disease. Bit like what Stephen Hawking had, but fortunately a lot milder, to this day. It's an illness that leaves your intellect perfectly intact, but my friend started needing a walking cane in his mid-30s, to give you an idea. So one day, they hired a 25-year-old assistant for him "just to help him focus on the more important stuff". No, no, they assured him, somebody like him was a pillar for the company, and he was irreplaceable, they just wanted to make sure his work would be as up to scratch as before.

But being hypocritical Americans who made a point of following U.S. office culture in the UK, they then one day put him on a four-day week, just to help him schedule his many doctor's visits. And it then started to percolate that the plan was all along to have his assistant replace him.

My friend was able to negotiate a hefty severance, which effectively meant he could take a half sabbatical. He threatened to sue them because evidently his actual work for the company was without fault, they just wanted him out because they didn't want to deal with somebody with a beginning physical disability. Which would have been a non-issue because his was a pure office desk job, and their building was even wheelchair accessible.
>> No. 14466 Anonymous
15th June 2022
Wednesday 7:50 pm
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We badly need to hire more men at my place. The gender balance has been slipping and the ratio of women to men is almost 3:1 now. Unsurprisingly, cattiness and petty drama is on the rise, beginning to dominate conversations over the largely good natured banter we used to have.

There's also a lass who has a bad case of mindworms. I thought she was just common or garden woke but the penny dropped today she's some kind of mixed race, though you'd never tell to look at her. I can't tell if she genuinely thinks she's much more obviously black than she really is, but ever since I noticed it it's becoming quite grating how often she brings race up, even though most of the discrimination she's talks about definitely doesn't apply to her because without her mentioning it constantly it'd never even cross your mind she isn't just a bit of a dark skinned Caucasian.
>> No. 14467 Anonymous
16th June 2022
Thursday 2:20 pm
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>>14466

I worked in an office when I was a younglad that was 90 percent women. It was mainly clerical work, a student job that I got from a bulletin board advert on campus, the sort of work that part-time mums did to return to the job world. And occasionally, they were also hiring students, so there I was.

Interesting environment from the perspective of learning about the female psyche, but it was doing my head in at times, because they were quite freely talking about their husbands' erectile problems in the tea room, or that things had shifted down there a bit after giving birth.

50:50 is a healthy male/female ratio IMO. And it may sound sexist, but a lot of offices just function better when there are one or two strong male authority figures in charge. Female bosses I've had who attempted to project authority more often than not became cold hearted bints who were impossible to negotiate with. I don't deny that women in management positions often need to be that way to be taken seriously, but after 25-odd years of working office jobs, I'm afraid I just find male bosses easier to get on with. They don't have much of a need to overcompensate their latent fear of their authority being questioned, like some female bosses I've worked for.
>> No. 14468 Anonymous
16th June 2022
Thursday 6:04 pm
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>>14454

My area of engineering has had a weird but not unwelcome change in dynamic in the past few years. All of the old guard are big hairy-arsed blokes with leathery hands, but increasing computerisation and a reversal of decades of declining vacancies and stagnant wages means we're seeing a big increase in the proportion of female apprentices. The unusually large gap in average age means that a lot of shops have developed a kind of paternal (rather than paternalistic) gender dynamic - for every young woman, there are at least two men with daughters that age. Nobody particularly asked them to, but most people have made a real effort to tone down the blokeyness and make sure that women feel welcome.

Maybe there's a selection bias of the sort of young women who choose an engineering apprenticeship, maybe there's a bit of latent cultural memory from the days when a workshop was a seriously dangerous workplace, but the tensions you might have expected just haven't happened.
>> No. 14480 Anonymous
21st June 2022
Tuesday 1:29 pm
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When someone emails you out of the blue just saying, "Please see below", and there's an email chain of hundreds of emails going back months, mostly discussing totally irrelevant things, that you need to read through because they couldn't be bothered to just ask their fucking question, I'm not exaggerating when I say I would cheer such a person being publicly guillotined. Just tell me what you want, for fuck's sake.
>> No. 14481 Anonymous
21st June 2022
Tuesday 2:00 pm
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>>14466

There's a majority of women in my department at the minute, but they're mostly older (50ish) so they don't seem to be as interested in putting each other down. Unless they all just gossip about me being a shit boss, maybe.
>> No. 14488 Anonymous
22nd June 2022
Wednesday 2:43 pm
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>>14481
Most times I've worked in a mainly female office it's been quite laid back. There's a lot of banal conversations about what they watched on telly or what they'll be eating that evening, but nothing bad. The only times it's been a paid has been the rare occasion there's some form of power struggle going on and a couple end up at each other's throats.
>> No. 14520 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 11:43 am
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I've got an email for our work's Christmas party and it's dawned on me that almost everyone I actually like enough to spend an evening getting drunk with has left since our last one in 2019.
>> No. 14521 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 12:11 pm
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>>14520
For me, this is usually the sign to abandon a sinking ship. Even if the replacements are competent.
>> No. 14522 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 1:08 pm
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>>14521
A fair bit of that is because I've turned into a bit of a hermit over the past couple of years. Their replacements might be alright, but I've just not really got to know them.
>> No. 14523 Anonymous
12th July 2022
Tuesday 6:00 am
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I don't know if it's the heat or working remotely is getting to me, but yesterday I was on a Teams call with one of my colleagues and I could feel myself getting the horn because she had a strappy top on. She's an overweight middle-aged woman.
>> No. 14524 Anonymous
12th July 2022
Tuesday 11:00 am
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>>14520

>I've got an email for our work's Christmas party

Seems a tad early, but I guess in the current climate where everything besides breathing and getting a wank is incredibly scarce, it makes sense.
>> No. 14525 Anonymous
12th July 2022
Tuesday 11:32 am
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>>14524
A lot of companies have to start booking in about now if they'll have a lot of people going.
>> No. 14526 Anonymous
13th July 2022
Wednesday 11:35 pm
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>>14523
Go for it lad.
>> No. 14527 Anonymous
13th July 2022
Wednesday 11:54 pm
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>>14525

Is it just me, or does the "companies booking their Christmas dos really early" discussion seem to come earlier every year? When I was a lad, we only started discussing the early booking of Christmas parties in November.
>> No. 14528 Anonymous
14th July 2022
Thursday 12:13 am
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>>14527

As a former cheflad, the smartest time to book your christmas party table is at the christmas party the previous year. Getting a reservation somewhere good these days must be even worse, what with half the industry going under.
>> No. 14529 Anonymous
14th July 2022
Thursday 1:28 pm
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>>14528
>>14527

I've always hated Christmas parties as a matter of principle. I more than welcomed their absence due to covid.

All this talk about Christmas parties is getting me thinking about excuses not to go this year.
>> No. 14530 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 12:57 am
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Cunts who do fuck all all day, complain about being tired and/or ill, and ultimately just stand in the way.
>> No. 14531 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 1:52 am
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>>14530
Look at this nerd, caring about his employers bottom line. What was it today? Calling the accountants about that invoice or invoicing the accountants for that call?
>> No. 14532 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 3:08 am
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>>14530
A wise man once told me about his life working on a farm, it's a profession that in contrast to our modern world you can only do with an incredible amount of calm and patience because 'on a farm you'll go as fast as the slowest animal or you'll get hurt'.

I took it instead as something applicable regardless of the profession and it's brought me an incredible amount of success in my working life in dealing with people. Some don't seem to get it and they fall into two groups; people who have never had a cow boot them in the face and people who aren't in the firing line. But if you have any sense you ignore them because they're not the cattle so their opinion doesn't matter and if/when you really do need them cows to move they'll appreciate something is up and that you're on their team.



So chill out and take the path of least resistance.
>> No. 14533 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 4:07 am
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>>14530

Sounds like they're doing it right. Why are you breaking your back for the same money as them? Sounds like they have the skillset to not be fired, and you're worried you don't.
>> No. 14534 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 1:52 pm
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>>14530
Complain to your manager about it. Maybe he will give you cookies on Friday.
>> No. 14535 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 4:08 pm
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Took a day off work on wednesday to let a contractor in for a boiler service. I get back in the next day and my colleague is oozing about how much she missed me. I check on our inbox and task folders, and there's twice as much in there compared to tuesday. She's done fuck-all work. For the last two days I busted my arse to catch up while she spent half the time floating around the office nattering.

So now she's seen her arse because I've taken Monday and Tuesday off to lounge around in my grogs swigging cold ale. I will certainly come back to the biggest backlog I have ever seen, and I will remind my lazy colleague that I have been assigned a task of my very own, which I have sidelined, and I am fucking well going to focus on it.
>> No. 14536 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 7:54 pm
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>>14535
Seeing as you like arse metaphors, are you sure this isn't going to bite you in the arse? When your supervisor yells at the pair of you for not completing any of the tasks in your inbox, is it really going to be OK to point at your own thing and say 'well this was a priority'?
>> No. 14537 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 8:35 pm
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>>14536

Yes, because my supervisor is fucking lazy too.
>> No. 14538 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 9:20 pm
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>>14537
It seems like you are the problem.
>> No. 14539 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 9:59 pm
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Now whilst I was at the forefront of making fun of >>14530 I do think there's a difference between those who take work easy and those who create more work for others. The latter should be liable to immediate defenstration, regardless of if they're in a union or not.
>> No. 14540 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 10:13 pm
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>>14538

It seems like you're just another lazy cunt.
>> No. 14541 Anonymous
16th July 2022
Saturday 10:26 pm
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>>14540

>It seems like you're just another lazy cunt.

Socialism ladm9
>> No. 14542 Anonymous
17th July 2022
Sunday 1:20 pm
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You see. Fallen right for the bourgie divide and rule, haven't you, given them exactly what they wanted. Worker arguing with his fellow worker about who works hardest.

I hate that "cuck" is such a loaded 4channer term by now, because it's the prefect description for people of this mindset. They think that if they can get on The Man's good side they will be rewarded, but they're too busy trying to impress him to notice his cock tastes distinctly of their wife's fanny.
>> No. 14543 Anonymous
17th July 2022
Sunday 1:31 pm
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>>14542
If one side isn't pulling their weight then it absolutely is something to get offended about, we know what we're going to do with you lumpenproletariat when the revolution comes.
>> No. 14544 Anonymous
17th July 2022
Sunday 10:22 pm
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One of my coworkers, a lad in his mid-40s, just got divorced in March after twelve years of what he now calls an "unloving and joyless marriage for half of that time". Fair enough. The marriage was childless because his wife was barren turned out to be infertile, and they never got around to adopting a child because of their busy careers and lifestyles.

So he is now living the carefree bachelor life. And that's what's a bit annoying about him, because he is acting like some mid-20s late adolescent party animal. I'm not saying he's insufferable, but it gets kind of demamding because he always asks everybody if they want to "hit the pubs" at the weekend, and he can't shut up about women he finds attractive, and that's not even mentioning his newfound predilection for bawdy jokes.

I guess that's just what a midlife crisis mixed with the relief of leaving a dead marriage behind looks like, and in a way I'm happy for him, and he is good fun on an average day. But he is laying it on a bit thick lately.
>> No. 14545 Anonymous
5th August 2022
Friday 12:31 pm
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Yesterday I popped out to the shops until almost 11, spoke with one client on the phone and spent the rest of the day either watching The Office or playing Football Manager. This morning I've mainly done housework, sent exactly two emails and left a few voicemail with clients. I've just launched Football Manager again and I'm not going to do anything for the rest of the day unless someone gets in touch with me.

I really feel like I should be doing more, but I have no drive whatsoever to do anything.
>> No. 14546 Anonymous
7th August 2022
Sunday 8:39 am
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>>14544

I'd suggest cutting him a bit of slack. Divorce is difficult for the best of us, and if the worst that happens to this lad is that he overcompensates a bit, then he's probably on the more favourable end of the potential psychological effects. It's also possible he's trying to rebuild his social life after the typical stagnation that happens for married men.

If the pestering gets too much you can always gently let him down in a way that doesn't hurt by implying you can't go out on the lash because "can't keep up with him" and his exuberant new self.

If you do really care, as well, it might be worth keeping an eye on how his work is going and whether he's not hiding any bad habits. Right after a massive relationship ending is a very high risk period for addiction and suicide in blokes.
>> No. 14547 Anonymous
17th August 2022
Wednesday 12:53 pm
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This morning I've had a 20 minute Teams call from someone who wanted to vent because they'd come back from holiday to find their name label had been taken off their desk fan and a separate 30 minute call to show another person how to download a document from Google Drive and then share that document in Zoom.
>> No. 14548 Anonymous
17th August 2022
Wednesday 1:05 pm
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>>14547
Oh, well, at least Teams is an easy to use and reliable piece of software that readily expedites these tedious interactions.
>> No. 14549 Anonymous
17th August 2022
Wednesday 1:30 pm
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>>14548
Teams is fine if there's no expectation of cameras. Just ignore the ranting. If they seem to expect a response, just blame teams for having crashed, or crapped on your microphone, or just fucked up in an unspecified way. It's bulletproof.
If only there was a way to hang up on a call without it showing in the chat window.
>> No. 14550 Anonymous
17th August 2022
Wednesday 8:10 pm
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>>14549
Disconnect from the network. If you have camera and microphone on, it has the benefit of you just cutting out. I've lost count of the number of times my phone and/or laptop have "crashed" while running Teams or Zoom.
>> No. 14560 Anonymous
23rd August 2022
Tuesday 6:10 pm
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I really enjoy it when customers think that their shitty little contextual jokes and small talk/lines of discussion are entirely unique, and I end up hearing the same stock phrases from about 50 people a day.
>> No. 14563 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 1:51 pm
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>>14560



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7KBcsdPhxA
>> No. 14564 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 3:29 pm
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>>14563
Yeah, hearing the equivalent from the other side of the counter was definitely what we all needed.
>> No. 14565 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 4:36 pm
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I realise I'll sound like a bit of a cunt saying this, but people need to stop raising money for charity.
>> No. 14566 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 4:42 pm
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>>14565
Which charities in particular?
>> No. 14567 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 5:48 pm
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>>14566
It's usually cancer ones but I seem to get an email from a colleague about their fundraising on a weekly basis.
>> No. 14568 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 6:07 pm
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>>14567
Fucking Hell, one email a week? How do you cope? Have you considered taking this to Citizens Advice? Oh, wait, probably not your kind of scene.
>> No. 14569 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 6:21 pm
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>>14568
Remember which thread you're in. Anyway, what triggered my post is that someone has got my personal number from somewhere and started sending me WhatsApp messages asking for donations to her personal PayPal account, which sounds a little dodgy to me.
>> No. 14570 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 6:42 pm
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>>14569
I know a guy who raised lots of money for charity that way. He's an irredeemable degenerate; he got really into charity fundraising to make amends for what an appalling criminal he has been in the past, and he didn't keep the money for himself at all but I still refused to send him even a solitary penny at any point.

Back to work gripes: my employer apparently needs a certain number of people to be qualified to sell some of our services, or nobody in the company can sell them any more. So I and my IT support colleagues have to do a pointless sales course. I also believe that our one sales guy probably isn't doing it himself, which makes a mockery of the whole thing and makes me even angrier considering how horrifically dull it is.
>> No. 14571 Anonymous
24th August 2022
Wednesday 8:24 pm
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>>14570

>I know a guy who raised lots of money for charity that way. He's an irredeemable degenerate; he got really into charity fundraising to make amends for what an appalling criminal he has been in the past, and he didn't keep the money for himself at all but I still refused to send him even a solitary penny at any point.

Now then, now then.
>> No. 14577 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 9:19 am
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It must be a struggle being obese, but if it's dress down Friday the least you could do is wear t-shirts that actually fit rather than having about half a foot of gut dangling free.
>> No. 14578 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 9:50 am
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>>14577

Women dress for themselves, if you can't control yourself, that's on you.
>> No. 14579 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 2:39 pm
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>>14578

>Women dress for themselves

Of course they do.
>> No. 14580 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 3:57 pm
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>>14578

*chef's kiss*
>> No. 14581 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 7:49 pm
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People at work who have a token salad once a week then tell me how lucky I am to be skinny, particularly if I treat myself to something mildly unhealthy, ignoring the fact I gym moderately and walk literally everywhere under an hour (unless in a rush).

Wow no shit you are drinking fizzy drinks at 10.30am and anything more than a 5 minutes walk is an Uber ride territory to you, truly a mystery how I, somebody that drinks tea and water and walks most places is skinnier than you.

Please stop commenting on how you don't deserve to be your weight the one time I have a pizza or a chocolate bar or something.

On a separate note and probably not solely for this thread, I just really can't stand people (without good reason) who don't like walking or think walking 30 mins somewhere is some sort of agonising back breaking experience.
>> No. 14582 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 7:53 pm
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>>14578

Oh that old chestnut. No, no revealing outfit a woman will wear gives you any rights at all to assume anything and then act on that assumption. That's a given.

But that doesn't mean women wear sexy clothing with zero intent of gaining attention.

Just not the kind of attention where some creepy idiot thinks she's up for a shag that night just because of the way she's dressed.
>> No. 14583 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 7:57 pm
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>>14582
Look! Up in the sky, over your head! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's the joke he was making.
>> No. 14584 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 8:16 pm
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>>14583
It is a little bit funny that the pair of them are so angry at women they've lost all situational awareness. Blinded with rage.
>> No. 14585 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 8:39 pm
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>>14584

If lads like you could get the same kind of stiffy in bed with a woman as you do when you're defending their honour on the internet, none of us would be in this mess.
>> No. 14586 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 9:39 pm
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>>14585
Jesus Christ.
>> No. 14587 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 9:48 pm
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I made the original post and I have no idea what the fuck's going on. Sometimes I just... post something and come back later to find out it's set you lot off bickering. I seem to have a real knack for it, but I can never tell in advance which posts of mine are going to set you off; it's more effective than when I'm actually trying to wind you up.
>> No. 14588 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 10:03 pm
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>>14587
It's too easy now, we've got some right mentalists on this board who don't seem to have any clue what's going on.
>> No. 14589 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 10:32 pm
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>>14587

I thought it was funny as fuck. I'm not sure whether that's because of or in spite of the fact that I'm a third tit enjoyer.

I think some people don't really read anything, they just skim for keywords.
>> No. 14590 Anonymous
27th August 2022
Saturday 11:56 pm
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I think some people just don't understand it's possible to recognise a joke and play along with it, and the default assumption is that anyone making any form of contradictory response is trolled to tears; and likewise it's probably pretty common to make posts pretending you're way more bothered about something than you actually are just for the shits of it.

I at least hope that's going on with that one lad who's immediate response to any disagreement is embarrassing teenlad internet hard-man death threats, anyway.
>> No. 14591 Anonymous
28th August 2022
Sunday 12:48 am
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>>14590

>I think some people just don't understand it's possible to recognise a joke and play along with it

If you're going to play along with a joke, I highly recommend being funny.
>> No. 14592 Anonymous
28th August 2022
Sunday 10:36 am
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>>14590
I'll buy that for the second reply. But who's making death threats?
>> No. 14593 Anonymous
30th August 2022
Tuesday 3:24 pm
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I have discovered that my work has been fined £100 for failing to provide a return for Class 1A National Insurance payments for employees. Now I'm trying to read up on what that actually means. It's very boring and I don't think it's a cool smoking gun that the bosses are against us after all. I think they just didn't bother filling in a form. Given that we sometimes get paid up to a week early with absolutely no warning, and until maybe five years ago received our wages via manual bank transfer from the company owner, maybe we're just not very well run. But I hope it does turn out to be something cool.
>> No. 14594 Anonymous
30th August 2022
Tuesday 3:29 pm
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>>14593
Hanlon's razor. I think when you work for small or poorly organised companies it tends to be things like payroll that are a bit of a bodge job.
>> No. 14595 Anonymous
30th August 2022
Tuesday 7:37 pm
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>>14594
This. Also, when things like this happen on the regular, it's a sign that you probably want to find somewhere a bit safer.

Back during the Great Recession, before anyone had ever heard of "quiet quitting" I "struggled" at work in order to persuade them to fail probation. Had I just walked, I would not have been eligible for the dole. Why would someone do this in the depths of a recession early on in their career when entry level jobs are not particularly easy to come by? My first month's salary was late, and the second was paid by the CEO driving into town and paying cheques over the counter in high-street banks. I didn't fancy staying around to figure out how badly they were going to fuck up. Surprise surprise, my final pay came two weeks late and was missing pay in lieu of the week's worth of untaken leave. A couple of months later I landed a job with a shorter commute and shorter hours.
>> No. 14596 Anonymous
12th September 2022
Monday 12:04 pm
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An email has just gone round from management confirming we're closed for the bank holiday, but we have to set an out of office message between 5pm on Friday and 9am on Tuesday with a message of condolence about the Queen. They will provide us with the wording once they've come up with it.

They're also working on updating the office answerphone and the company website to pay respects to her.
>> No. 14597 Anonymous
12th September 2022
Monday 1:28 pm
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>>14596
Can I ask, how many people a day do you think look at your company's website?
>> No. 14598 Anonymous
12th September 2022
Monday 1:36 pm
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>>14596
My work has just been bought out. We're all slightly aggrieved at the disrespect of being sold, but our marketing people released a press release and yet we aren't updating our website to acknowledge it in any way. Supposedly, this too is out of respect for the Queen, but surely if you really respected the Queen, you wouldn't release a press release either? The whole thing is blatantly insane. Now we're going to have people asking us all week, "Hey, I read you'd been sold in the industry press, but there has been no official announcement. Why not?" In the face of this massive error that was only pointed out when I told them, one answer is for me to say, "I know as much as you do" and just play dumb like I know nothing about my workplace being sold. Obviously this will make us look utterly hopeless, but I guess we are so maybe that's fine.
>> No. 14599 Anonymous
12th September 2022
Monday 3:10 pm
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They're asking me what "vibe" the company website has. I am now a Marxist-Leninist.
>> No. 14600 Anonymous
12th September 2022
Monday 4:56 pm
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>>14597
If it was more than a handful I'd be surprised.
>> No. 14601 Anonymous
12th September 2022
Monday 6:23 pm
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I think I might have to have to sack a consulting client because I'm a horrible sexist beast. I do a few days a month on-site for them and the department I work with have just got a new employee. She is Spanish, straight out of university, constantly flirtatious and indescribably beautiful. I'm not exaggerating, she is unnaturally beautiful, like a Hollywood starlet has inexplicably decided to work in the engineering department of a very dull multinational.

The rest of us are middle-aged blokes and the mood is genuinely a bit scary, like at any minute someone might get glassed. It's not rational, we all know that we don't have a chance in hell with her, but some monkeybrain system has kicked in and we're all just eyeing each other up as rivals to be eliminated. Nobody is getting any work done, we're just trying to avoid saying or doing anything grossly inappropriate. Does she know? She must know, surely. Perhaps she thinks that all men are just gibbering idiots.
>> No. 14602 Anonymous
13th September 2022
Tuesday 6:51 am
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>>14601
Relax. If she's Spanish she's used to being surrounded by lecherous men.
>> No. 14603 Anonymous
13th September 2022
Tuesday 9:38 am
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>>14602

This. She's probably grateful that British men tend to be perverts from a few metres away, rather than rubbing themselves on her.
>> No. 14604 Anonymous
13th September 2022
Tuesday 11:24 am
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I've been on a CPD webinar since 11 and not a single word has sunk in. It doesn't help that it's a very dry subject matter in the first place, but it's a couple of men sat around a board room table so the audio is terrible.
>> No. 14607 Anonymous
22nd September 2022
Thursday 10:07 am
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Having to watch a middle-aged woman put together a PowerPoint over screenshare. Might actually kill myself on camera.
>> No. 14608 Anonymous
23rd September 2022
Friday 7:34 am
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>>14607
I used to work with a woman who'd call about two or three people into meetings whenever she had to prepare a presentation for either the directors or the rest of the company.

There'd be an initial meeting ahead of the actual meeting covering what the presentation was about, with that second meeting followed by the final meeting where we'd have to sit in the boardroom and watch it all being typed up. She wasted so much time. In the end they got rid of her because they weren't entirely sure what she did and whether that necessitated a full time position.
>> No. 14609 Anonymous
23rd September 2022
Friday 8:35 am
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>>14608
>There'd be an initial meeting ahead of the actual meeting covering what the presentation was about, with that second meeting followed by the final meeting where we'd have to sit in the boardroom and watch it all being typed up.
Ah, the corporate Aristotelian triptych taken to its logical extreme.
>> No. 14610 Anonymous
23rd September 2022
Friday 9:22 am
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>>14609
In her defence she was out of her depth and set up to fail. She was taken on as a trainee 'business development manager' on the understanding they were going to hire a senior and she would shadow them, but they never recruited one so everything fell on her. She wasn't properly trained either as one of the other managers is paranoid everyone else is trying to usurp them so he undermines anyone he sees as a threat to his position.
>> No. 14613 Anonymous
6th October 2022
Thursday 11:49 am
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My line manager literally has no idea what the job I'm meant to be doing is.
>> No. 14614 Anonymous
6th October 2022
Thursday 8:48 pm
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>>14613

Pretty much like any job, then?
>> No. 14615 Anonymous
6th October 2022
Thursday 10:30 pm
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>>14614
I don't know. I miss being a NEET.
>> No. 14616 Anonymous
7th October 2022
Friday 12:53 am
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>>14615

Being a NEET is one of the most underrated experiences. Provided you have some resources and aren't skint or have slipped into a dead-end dolescum existence, I can honestly say the times in my life when I was NEET were some of the most relaxing and enjoyable ones.

Sure, it's best to land a job again at some point, but there's something to be said for just doing fuck all the whole day everyday for an extended period of time, besides having a wank at noon in the livingroom and watching TV till dawn.

I never understood why society frowns on that kind of downtime from absolutely everything.

I'm not talking about a sabattical where you study Cantonese or volunteer at a sea turtle nursery with the idea in mind that it adds colour to your CV. Just a significant expanse of time where you do nothing at all.
>> No. 14617 Anonymous
7th October 2022
Friday 1:28 am
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>>14616

>I never understood why society frowns on that kind of downtime from absolutely everything.

Because we might demand more of it.
>> No. 14618 Anonymous
7th October 2022
Friday 11:04 am
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>>14616
I did it for two years and it was fine, but it starts to wear on you. Perhaps everyone should be NEET for one month a year, rather than what I did, because what I did is mind poison and you shouldn't go more than a year without any commitments. Although when I lost jobs after getting them, I am usually NEET for a few months and it certainly is a nice break from the routine. I just wish I wasn't so hopeless at getting jobs.
>> No. 14619 Anonymous
7th October 2022
Friday 12:23 pm
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>>14618

I've found that the biggest challenge of being NEET isn't what to do all day. You eventually settle into a routine, however empty it'll be. And you'll be comfortable in it. It's defending your NEETness towards your friends and family. Because almost everybody in any kind of gainful employment at all is usually conditioned to think that time spent idle is time wasted. And you're looked at with equal parts pity and envy. Poor lad's out of work - but why does he look like he's enjoying it? And everybody keeps asking you all the time how your job search is going, or they'll even tell you they could ask at their job if there's an opening. It doesn't compute to most people that you're content with the way things are at the moment, and that you need nobody's help.
>> No. 14620 Anonymous
7th October 2022
Friday 12:35 pm
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>>14619

Thing is, if you can be a neet and not be uncomfortable (i.e fucking skint) then you must, by definition, be some kind of spoilt. Privileged. Lucky. Whatever word you want to use, you probably don't deserve the life of idle leisure you're somehow living, and people shaming you over it is probably a pretty fair balancing weight to that honestly.

That said I loved being a NEET even when I was on the bones of my arse broke and going further into debt every day. It couldn't last forever, but it felt like a very liberating kind of lifestyle. Knowing I had responsibilities, and that I was just giving them the middle finger. Spending the petty cash of the dole on BBQ potato waffles and Kinder Buenos at the shop because what difference does it make, it's not enough money to cover the rest of my bills, might as well splash out. Even get some fags. Put a fiver's worth of petrol in the car they'll turn up to confiscate any day now and just go for a cruise about town, watch the job people doing their job things, knowing I'm free from it. An outsider, an observer.

It's definitely something I'd recommend everyone go through at least once, to build character. They should force teenagers to work in retail for two years, then go on the dole for a year, before they're allowed to make any decisions about the rest of their life.
>> No. 14621 Anonymous
7th October 2022
Friday 1:38 pm
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>>14620

That's why it's a good idea to put aside enough cash while you are employed so that you can afford to spend x months living off it without feeling like a pauper.

You do save a lot of money simply by not going to work every day and everything that it entails.

Probably not something you can do if your career is stocking shelves in Tesco, that's true.


>and just go for a cruise about town, watch the job people doing their job things, knowing I'm free from it. An outsider, an observer.

I went on a 200-mile train journey once while I was NEET, and I was sitting near a lad who seemed to have a massively stressful job, because for much of the ride, he was on the phone arguing with coworkers about the details of a project, and then he e-mailed stuff back and forth with them and they still couldn't agree on it, and he seemed pretty nervous because I gathered that they had a 5pm deadline to observe that day. The lad looked really poorly, he was very pale in the face like he hadn't had a proper sleep in a week, and his interactions with other passengers and train staff also seemed quite jumpy.

It felt like validation that in many ways, I had a far better life than him at the time.
>> No. 14622 Anonymous
11th October 2022
Tuesday 3:25 pm
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Went to the office for the first time in a while. The heating was set to 30° and most of the windows were open.
>> No. 14626 Anonymous
10th November 2022
Thursday 3:10 pm
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A new phone system is meant to be going live but they haven't properly tested it; it turns out it isn't working/set up right, so the phones are down today apart from two numbers which are having all of the calls company wide redirected to them.
>> No. 14627 Anonymous
10th November 2022
Thursday 7:04 pm
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>>14619
Tell people you're taking a sabbatical
>> No. 14628 Anonymous
10th November 2022
Thursday 7:51 pm
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>>14627

Now there's a word that isn't overused.

Thing is, you're technically not really free to do fuck all when you label it a sabbatical and really go with that idea. Not the way it's handled by most people today.

https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/sabbatical-benefits

It's still implied that you ought to use your time off in a meaningful way. And in some way again with regards to improving or increasing your employability when you return.

Of course, unless you have enough money put aside to never have to be an office slave again, every sabbatical will come to an end and it'll be back to the salt mines, and you'll have to think about what you will tell people what you did. But it might raise eyebrows if you tell your boss or a new employer that you pretty much did nothing at all every day besides sleep till noon, have two wanks a day and get off your tits down the pub every night.

When I really think about the times I was umemployed for six months or a year or more, I don't think anything else helped me relax and decompress from my work life quite like all of the above.
>> No. 14629 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 2:23 pm
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How should I respond if a middle-aged woman asks me if I can help her get off the naughty list after I'd sent a generic "hope you had a nice Christmas too" when she emailed me?
>> No. 14630 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 2:36 pm
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>>14629
>> No. 14631 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 4:33 pm
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>>14629

"I can help you get off but not the naughty list".
>> No. 14632 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 4:54 pm
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I should probably add that I'm not interested in having sex or flirting with this woman. I can see why she'd appeal to the .gs demographic though; slightly chunky single mum in her mid-forties, looks and sounds a bit common who was unsuccessfully throwing herself at men during the Christmas party.
>> No. 14633 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 5:41 pm
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>>14632

Don't be a tight arse, give her one. She's probably not had any in ages.
>> No. 14634 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 5:59 pm
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>>14632
"I have lots of friends who are all really un-naughty people over at britfa.gs".

Go on. Share the wealth.
>> No. 14635 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 6:09 pm
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>>14632
>throwing herself at men during the Christmas party
Why can't they just bottle up thier sexuality like the rest of us >:(
>> No. 14636 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 6:35 pm
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>>14635

Don't spoil it for the rest of us lad. If it wasn't for single mums who get handsy after necking a load of prosecco, I'd never get my knob wet.
>> No. 14637 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 6:39 pm
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>>14635
I've tried not bottling up my sexuality. Now I'm not allowed within 100 metres of Carol Vorderman. You can't have it both ways.
>> No. 14638 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 6:55 pm
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>>14637

"Lurking in the bushes" is not a sexual orientation.
>> No. 14639 Anonymous
4th January 2023
Wednesday 7:26 pm
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>>14638

That all depends.
>> No. 14640 Anonymous
5th January 2023
Thursday 5:34 pm
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Not really a workplace annoyance as such, but my missus has asked me to help her find a better job recently, and while I'm happy to help, it's becoming clear part of the reason she's always had shit casual jobs is just because she can't let go of some quite... Naive idealism about what a "good" job is.

She's wed to the idea she can get a part time job that pays well enough to significantly boost her income, while also still letting her LARP at the hair stylist she currently works at for minimum wage a couple of days a week. I can't get it through to her that if she wants a "real" job it's pretty much going to have to be full time. Ehh. I dunno. It's frustrating trying to get her to understand, but also just kind of stirs up a bit of very old, deeply buried bitterness in me, because I had to break my back going through shit job after shit job until I finally started getting somewhere.

If she wants to do the hair salon thing that's fine with me, I don't care how much she makes as long as she can chip a bit in when we go for a meal or a drink or whatever. I'm not loaded by any means either, and I don't care about it. She wants more money for herself which is fair enough, but she wants to have the cake and eat it.
>> No. 14656 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 3:28 pm
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Imagine giving a 146 slide presentation on a Friday afternoon. Fucking hell.
>> No. 14657 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 3:33 pm
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It's finally wrapping up.
>> No. 14658 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 3:53 pm
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>>14657
I'm so sorry, mate. Are you okay?
>> No. 14659 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 4:08 pm
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>>14658
I'm fortunate to have two screens so I played Football Manager on one whilst looking busy and had the presentation on the other but, fuck me, what a load of wank that was.
>> No. 14662 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 6:11 pm
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>>14657
Ah yes. Teams Live. The dreaded company/departmental all-hands. On a Friday afternoon too FFS.

Feel your pain.
>> No. 14663 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 6:31 pm
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How can anyone be delusional enough to think that people will pay attention to, or remember anything from, that many slides? We've got a pretty hard limit at 10, and encourage 5. Backup slides that no fucker reads go at the end, so people with a slidemaking fetish still get to stroke themselves into a frenzy, but they have to acknowledge that nobody cares.
I struggle to hit 5 on my progress reports. People involved in the project know how it's going, and whether it's going badly or well, I've already been bugging the directors, and other teams don't give a shit. I hope other people appreciate my brevity nearly as much as their tedious updates enrage me.
>> No. 14664 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 7:10 pm
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>>14663

Perhaps the one good thing about our gaffer is his belief that if you can't explain something in less than ten minutes, then either you don't really understand it yourself, or it's too complicated to be a verbal presentation anyway. He has a similar thing about paragraphs being too long, I think he might just be thick, but it certainly cuts down the time spent in meetings.
>> No. 14665 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 7:35 pm
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>>14662
Worst of all, it was a sales pitch from another company. A 146 slide long sales pitch.
>> No. 14666 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 7:44 pm
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>>14665
Offer them some succinct feedback? Shit like this is not to be encouraged.
>> No. 14667 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 8:15 pm
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>>14665
I'd love to know what they were selling.
>> No. 14668 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 8:31 pm
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>>14667
dignitas appointments, by about slide 70
>> No. 14669 Anonymous
20th January 2023
Friday 9:21 pm
14669 spacer
>>14667
It was an asset management company, but when you've seen one provider presentation within this particular space (inheritance tax planning via business relief) you've seen them all.
>> No. 14670 Anonymous
21st January 2023
Saturday 4:40 pm
14670 spacer
Senior, older, management at work who bought their first houses at the equivalent place on the scale to the younger staff who can now only afford to rent a room.

I am firmly in middle management, but we cannot keep any junior staff in post for trying because the pay is simply not good enough for a major city and they refuse to pay more or upgrade the roles.

They keep getting upset that everybody is moving on and suggesting they're moving on before they're good enough, when in fact they're bright young people but just want to be able to afford to do more than survive. The older people, having mortgages, paid off flats/houses and all sorts take this as a personal slight and can't seem to work out why people 'won't do their time' when even a shopping basket now is obscene on such low wages.

Guess what? No point complaining about them to me, it's annoying me and making me speed up my leaving process too.
>> No. 14671 Anonymous
21st January 2023
Saturday 5:22 pm
14671 spacer
>>14670
The other day I was talking with one of my colleagues, who's also in a management position, and he kept moaning about "young 'uns". Saying how entitled they are because they expect everything to be handed on a plate and don't want to work hard for it. He's about thirty.
>> No. 14672 Anonymous
23rd January 2023
Monday 7:27 pm
14672 spacer
"Instead of giving decent pay rises this year we're going to give most of it in the form of a bonus so the base line is lower when we have to raise salaries in the future."
>> No. 14673 Anonymous
7th February 2023
Tuesday 12:49 am
14673 spacer
>>14670
>>14671
>>14672
I think this attitude is partly due to people's brains not taking inflation into account.

For example, a 50 year might have begun his career on £10k in 1990, the equivalent of £22,000 today. They would have had to've worked for 8-10 years (until around 2000) before they were on £20k (which would be £33k today).

So when they see people in their early twenties demanding a starting salary of £25k, they consider it selfish or entitled, when in reality it works out around the same as they were earning at that age.

I'm suffering with the same as someone now in my late twenties. I am integral part of my department, had a glowing appraisal (exceeded in all aspects) and received a 4% pay rise. Ordinarily this would be good but with inflation being where it is, I am forced to job hop in order to keep up.
>> No. 14674 Anonymous
7th February 2023
Tuesday 1:36 am
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>>14673

I had a lot of shit jobs in the early '10s where salaries between 15-17k were seen as "alright", but looking at it now that's barely liveable.

Beginning my career on 25 grand would have been a fortune. Getting that far by the time I reached 30 felt like a long overdue gaining of what I rightly deserved, but then inflation jumped up and almost immediately wiped out the benefit.

If I hadn't spent the better part of the last decade in the NHS I might have better wages to begin with, but it's like by this point I've just come to terms with the fact I'll always get screwed, and even if half the heath service goes on strike and gets 10% I bet they'll still find a way not to include my department.

I should really explore other avenues shouldn't I. Can I still get one of them cosy stay at home and pretend to work on Zoom jobs or have they all gone now?
>> No. 14675 Anonymous
7th February 2023
Tuesday 1:49 am
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>>14674
Generally speaking, more and more companies have moved back to either full-time office working or hybrid. And of the hybrid, they are demanding more and more days in the office. Work from home is dying.

Have you thought about "quiet quitting" and just taking it easy for a year? It might make you feel less resentful of your low pay.

Bear in mind we are a low paid country in general.
>> No. 14676 Anonymous
7th February 2023
Tuesday 1:49 am
14676 spacer
>>14674
Generally speaking, more and more companies have moved back to either full-time office working or hybrid. And of the hybrid, they are demanding more and more days in the office. Work from home is dying.

Have you thought about "quiet quitting" and just taking it easy for a year? It might make you feel less resentful of your low pay.

Bear in mind we are a low paid country in general.
>> No. 14677 Anonymous
7th February 2023
Tuesday 2:58 am
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>>14675

>Have you thought about "quiet quitting" and just taking it easy for a year? It might make you feel less resentful of your low pay.

Ehh, it's really not the kind of job where you can choose in any meaningful way whether you do your work or don't. You either have a busy day or a quiet one. The work needs doing, because it's real work what you actually do with your hands, not just putting numbers in boxes on a computer.

It's definitely going nowhere long term where I am anyway. Even if I only move to a similarly underpaid job at another trust/hospital/etc it's probably worth the move, because I can see my place getting reorganised and efficiency saved out of existence in the near future.
>> No. 14680 Anonymous
15th February 2023
Wednesday 10:11 am
14680 Copied from Slack.
Morning everyone 🙂 today we will be focusing on self love ❤ following on from Valentines day ❤ we will be watching a video around the Psycholog and finishing on a meditation to manifest it. The session will run from 10:30-11am on this link [Meets link]




>> No. 14681 Anonymous
23rd February 2023
Thursday 5:01 pm
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My work organised going out for drinks for someone's retirement last night and decided that Wednesday would be the best option given a lot of people were scheduled to be in the office. They could've just forward planned this a bit with diaries but nobody thought this was a good idea.

Needless to say that today has been a bit of a disaster. Thursdays are busy days but overall productivity has sat at Friday levels. The lesson for any managers reading this is that social activity should always be on a Thursday/Friday despite how busy Thursdays are in terms of commuting. Ordinary office attendance is fine but days that start with a 't' should be respected as the workhorses of the week.

>>14680
Did you practice some 'self-love' with the free time afforded to you?
>> No. 14682 Anonymous
23rd February 2023
Thursday 6:30 pm
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I wish they'd send all the office plebs back to home working, so that those of us with real life jobs can get there in peace. My commute has been steadily lengthening since the quiet sidelining of the 'rona, and nearly reached the hour mark today.
>> No. 14683 Anonymous
23rd February 2023
Thursday 9:12 pm
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>>14682

I'm self employed and work from home, so the change either way was marginal for me.

I'm not sure you could pay me enough to return to a conventional white collar office environment. Whatever industry I worked in before I became my own boss, and there were a few, the one thing I hated almost every single day of it was having to deal with hierarchies and office politics, and just having insufferable people around me while I was working.
>> No. 14684 Anonymous
23rd February 2023
Thursday 11:39 pm
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I'm normally only in the office twice a week now, unless there's a meeting I have to attend. Even then I have had days where have gone in checked for any physical post, gone to a meeting and fucked off home sharpish afterwards. I don't miss slogging into the office every day.

I know some of the people couldn't wait to get back to the office. These tend to be the people who seem to spend a lot of the time looking busy in the office and are a bit too dim to make it look like they're staying busy whilst at home.
>> No. 14685 Anonymous
26th February 2023
Sunday 8:48 pm
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>>14683
>>14684
We are being forced to go in 4 days a week which is very grim.

I have to pretend to work for about 6 hours a day. It's made especially worse by the fact that we have been given 27 inch screens by IT so it's like you're broadcasting to the office everyday.

Everyone's aware that everyone else is pretending to work too. So it's led to an office of mostly twenty-somethings who are completely miserable.

The managers and C-suite come in when they like, which is usually once or twice a week for a few hours. It's very unfair.
>> No. 14686 Anonymous
26th February 2023
Sunday 11:17 pm
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I think I'd rather clean toilets than ever have to pretend to work.
>> No. 14687 Anonymous
27th February 2023
Monday 6:16 pm
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>>14683

How did you become self-employed?
>> No. 14688 Anonymous
27th February 2023
Monday 8:04 pm
14688 spacer
>>14687

Gave the interviewer a handjob.
>> No. 14690 Anonymous
6th March 2023
Monday 9:54 pm
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I've had a slight issue with a request to work from home for a couple of days due to issues with my car that I need fixing.

It's been approved, but my manager said there was a slight issue as the C-suite are kicking off that people aren't abiding by the 4 day a week in the office rule, so we've had to agree on the false pretext that I had a "pre-arranged appointment" on those days, and not to mention the car issue, as they'd just say I should pay for a taxi to get in.

Some relevant facts:
- my manager lives closer to the office than me, but has somehow managed to agree on only coming in one day a week
- I am one of the few people who actually does usually go in 4 days a week, this is a one occasion
- the directors / c-suite come into the office whenever they feel like it, usually twice a week for a couple of hours until they get bored.
- the majority of us were all employed during covid, when we were working from home
- our job can be done from home at no cost to productivity or innovation
- they recently moved the head office 15km away from where we were initially employed

Essentially, the people who actually do the day-to-day work of keeping the company running and are on £23k are forced to work in the office, whilst the directors on £120k plus dividends come in at their leisure.

I can only see this two-tiered system breeding resentment. A few people have already left because of it.
>> No. 14691 Anonymous
16th April 2023
Sunday 10:02 pm
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On Monday morning's we have a check-in on how all the work is progressing. A zany part of my team's routine is we will have 9 ducks in various stages of being deflated and you have to tell everyone which duck you are and why. You may have seen it.

We do this every week using the same shitty image. The worst part about it is knowing that I started it with the rubber duck I have on my desk that we used to mark how people understood a presentation I did (I was pressured into doing this). I left to go work in another team for a bit and found that they'd turned it into a regular occurrence when I came back. Obviously I have to smile for this and so does everyone else, the duck scores go into our reporting.

I made a joke once that nobody is happy to come into work on a Monday morning and my boss lost her shit with me for months so I don't even think I can raise how fucked up it's become.
>> No. 14692 Anonymous
20th April 2023
Thursday 9:10 am
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It's not going to be my problem for much longer, but I've handed my notice in at work and now I'm getting complete radio silence when I need to hear back from certain individuals. It's extremely petty, so now I'm going to do even less than planned between now and leaving.
>> No. 14693 Anonymous
20th April 2023
Thursday 9:16 am
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>>14692
Best keep a note of what you sent to who and when, just in case.
>> No. 14694 Anonymous
20th April 2023
Thursday 9:26 am
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>>14693
My arse is reasonably covered, but if something goes wrong it's not going to be my problem.
>> No. 14695 Anonymous
25th April 2023
Tuesday 11:14 pm
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It's probably time for me to look for a new job and I feel really ambivalent about it. Not because I really love my job and don't want to leave or whatever, but because it's just so daunting to think about uprooting myself and going through all the stress, and I doubt if I'll even get something that satisfies me more anyway. I worry about putting myself on the wrong side of a grass is greener kind of situation, because I've definitely fucked up and done that before; except now I have a mortgage to pay so I can't afford to fuck about. I can't just decide I don't like a job and fuck it off like I did in my early 20s.

Thing is I've been settled and comfortable where I am for a long time, in fact it's the only job I've ever stayed at for more than a couple of years, and for the last several of those years I've had the privilege of doing a shift pattern that worked perfectly for me and gave me what felt like a much better work life balance than I've ever had before. But all good things must come to an end, and I've found myself plonked into an utterly shite arrangement involving that not-technically-mandatory-but-heavily-frowned-on-if-you-don't-do-it kind of overtime, which the other team members agreed to because they're apparently complete fucking numbskulls, and I hate it. I feel like my days off are weeks apart, and they're nearly all spent with my other half, which is fine but it means I never just get a day to myself; and my evenings are just spent recovering from work anyway.

It's like fate gave me a taste of what an actually good life is just to rip it away, and now I'm in the position I've got to risk everything to try claw it back. Give me some general advice or encouraging words lads.
>> No. 14696 Anonymous
25th April 2023
Tuesday 11:29 pm
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>>14695

>Give me some general advice or encouraging words lads.

The jobs market is absolutely crazy at the moment, with massive vacancy rates in most industries. The post-pandemic labour shortages haven't gone away and inflation is putting massive upward pressure on private-sector pay offers. If you do anything vaguely useful, there's probably someone who is desperate to hire you.

It's much easier to improve your pay and conditions by finding a new job than by renegotiating with your current employer. If you aren't that bothered about more money, you're in a very strong position to ask for flexible hours or extra holiday entitlement or whatever you might prefer. Strike while the iron is hot, really put the effort in to find the right job and you can make a massive difference to the direction of your career. Your current job isn't forever and neither is your next job, but making a move now while the going is good will set you up for your next step up the ladder. Break out of your rut and do something good for yourself.
>> No. 14697 Anonymous
25th April 2023
Tuesday 11:57 pm
14697 Turds Float
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I had a recent graduate come in to a position above me last year. It was one of those cases where she'd done a advanced programme after going to Oxford so I ended up working to someone with zero life experience but in theory had a lot of classroom training beforehand. What followed was us continually clashing as I had to stop her doing what wasn't just corporate bootlicking but making destructive decisions. Now she's been given a promotion to a more senior position, one of the most important for my organisation and I'm not only shocked but I don't know what to do given she poses a risk to everyone around her.

The big example that keeps coming to my mind was with one of the bods on compressed hours under me and her attempt to force a recalculation of his working time records because she thought compressed hours workers aren't entitled to bank holidays. Based on a what she found in part-time temp job she had at university. I politely tell to her to fuck off and pointed out policy, she decides to keep up trying to look at a recalculation of his hours and I stonewalled her at every turn hoping she would get the message until I eventually brought in HR on the policy points. The real thing that pissed me off about this being that he was running a negative on his hours because he'd taken a lot of time off to help his father deal with a medical issue and his recovery. The kicker was when pointing out that I didn't really give a damn about his hours because he worked the core hours and was operating to a standard above his rank - she retorted by citing her boyfriends working hours, I resisted asking how much he was on.

Obviously over time she continually gave me shitty quarterly reviews and after the one I finally complained about her when I thought she was actively gunning to get me fired - I spent hours typing up point-by-point how she was full of shit but just ended up getting threatened by the her boss. I still thought to myself she'd grow out of it but evidently it doesn't take much for someone who is beyond supplicant to float.

I don't know. I could warn the people working under her but it could be interpreted as bullying, I could warn her new boss but it would be the same, I could tell her what I actually think about her before she heads off but it would feel too good to not be a bad idea, I could tell her current boss how shite she is again and his failure to manage. My mistake was maybe not actively complaining about her every time she put a foot out of line but I imagine it wouldn't have really done anything but make me life more difficult.
>> No. 14698 Anonymous
26th April 2023
Wednesday 7:56 am
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>>14695
Just see what's out there. You don't have to commit to anything but it's good to know your options.

>>14697
My first job out of uni was working for the council and there was a woman in my department in her late 20s or early 30s who was hopeless at almost all aspects of her job, but if there was a meeting with senior managers from other departments she always made a point of attending and putting herself across in a way that would make a good impression with them. Before I left she gave me a talk about how to climb the career ladder and it was clearly working for her as she was able to move to a couple of higher up jobs in other departments in a relatively short timeframe.

Anyway, there isn't going to be a divine reckoning where everyone realises how useless she is and they all see the light about you being right all along. Life doesn't work that way. You'll have to let it go, but remember to cover your arse at all times.
>> No. 14699 Anonymous
26th April 2023
Wednesday 11:00 pm
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>>14697

I've worked under people like that as well, who thought they were special either by virtue of their training or just because they knew the right people higher-up who were willing to overlook the fact that they were complete shit at their job.

There's no point arguing with them or attempting to stand your ground. Cosmic forces that are beyond your control have put that person higher up in the food chain than you. So one time I just quit my job. When I was asked why I was leaving for a new job that I already had in the pocket, I did tell them that it was mainly because of that one person who had ben an insufferable incompetent cunt, but I don't think that that even fully registered with anybody. I got a thumbs up from one or two of my coworkers who were equally annoyed by that person, but that was about it.

It's self preservation, at the end of the day. And asking yourself how much shit you want to take from somebody that you can't do anything about before you decide to look for a new job.
>> No. 14700 Anonymous
28th April 2023
Friday 4:46 pm
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>>14698
>>14699
My story is getting worse because now there's a card going around talk of a goodbye meeting. What usually happens at these meetings is you end up going around in a circle reminiscing about good times and how you will miss the person in question.

I can just forget to sign the card but, fuck me, how am I supposed to not be a bitch say what I think in such a scenario. I might have to pull a sickie.
>> No. 14701 Anonymous
23rd May 2023
Tuesday 9:06 pm
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I enjoy it when a manager claims you've made an error and wants to have a meeting about it because it amounts to a corporate fuckup, and it's the same manager you sought counsel from in the first place who told you to do something a certain way. Marvellous stuff, well done.
I do, however, enjoy that one of my colleagues really likes Earl grey too and we go box for box.
>> No. 14702 Anonymous
25th May 2023
Thursday 1:43 am
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My work was bought out and now we're changing a lot of things to use whatever is used by the company that bought us. Wage slips are now hosted on a totally different website. When I try to log in, it tells me I can't, so I clicked on "Reset password". The password reset link will be valid for one hour. However, it gets sent out at a completely random time. I requested it over an hour ago now and still haven't got it. It will probably arrive tomorrow at some point, while I am at work. By the time I get home, the link will have expired. Everyone I work with is complaining about being taxed too much and all sorts of other problems, so I would really like to see how much shit I am in. But I can't. Thanks a lot, incompetent shitters.
>> No. 14703 Anonymous
25th May 2023
Thursday 10:25 am
14703 spacer
>>14702

At my old work they did a merger. They gave us that whole malarkey about synergies and unrealised potentials. But getting there was a complete and utter nightmare. At some point they then changed the e-mail addresses. Which seemed simple enough in theory, where before it was firstnameInitial.lastname@companyA.co.uk, it now was firstnameInitial.lastname@companyA-companyB.co.uk. Migrating all that stuff came with major hiccups. The old addresses were still intact and were forwarded to our new ones, but they somehow kept losing old and new e-mails on the server or delivery of new ones was patchy and they arrived late with about half a day of delay. Which can really mess things up if you're expecting an e-mail from a coworker, or worse, a customer expects a prompt answer from you like you said you'd give them right away. This went on for over a week. I'm not sure how you can fuck up a midsized dedicated e-mail server with roughly 180 accounts so badly that nothing works for a week, but I guess it's not my pay grade.
>> No. 14704 Anonymous
25th May 2023
Thursday 3:10 pm
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My seventh day back in an office and the air con wars have begun.
>> No. 14705 Anonymous
25th May 2023
Thursday 9:44 pm
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I have to activate my LinkedIn about once a year for conferences and events, some people whinge if you give them an email you see. I hate it, I don't understand it and I don't want to understand it. The worst part for me is that it becomes a second work inbox and I set it up on a personal email account.

>>14704
The Women's Network pulled an absolute blinder at mine: they got time at an organisation-wide meeting ostensibly to talk about what they do and how wouldn't it be lovely to join them. A move nobody could possibly argue with and all seemed perfectly innocent, but then they used their time to produce research that women need it hotter with it being an example of a sexist workplace. Again no argument and with it a tacit acceptance.

Now all the thermostats are stuck on the 'slightly-too-warm' setting and there's a little sticker telling you to not even think about it. You wear a jumper in the winter months once. This wouldn't happen with mummy-sexbots in the workplace.
>> No. 14706 Anonymous
25th May 2023
Thursday 10:21 pm
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>>14705
I think it's the menopausal women vs. the non-menopausal women in the air con wars. A lot of them look about that age.
>> No. 14707 Anonymous
26th May 2023
Friday 1:34 am
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>>14705

While you're forced into being a woke and circle jerking modern progressive, why not tell those women that having the thermostat higher is less eco friendly. That everytime they turn it up two degrees, another undiscovered species in the rainforest dies.
>> No. 14708 Anonymous
5th June 2023
Monday 1:49 pm
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>>14704

Our air conditioning will remain shut off completely unless it's 27°C or warmer inside. We are encouraged to use inexpensive desk fans on days where it's warm but not quite warm enough for the air conditioning. Which we will have to pay for ourselves. Energy costs, and all that. And carbon footprint they say, but it's just more of the usual BS.
>> No. 14709 Anonymous
5th June 2023
Monday 2:50 pm
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>>14708
I think I might actually enjoy picking scrap from a dumpyard. Something about knowing the value of otherwise discarded items seems somehow romantic.
>> No. 14710 Anonymous
5th June 2023
Monday 3:14 pm
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>>14709

I'm sure they're always hiring.
>> No. 14711 Anonymous
5th June 2023
Monday 4:19 pm
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>>14709
house clearing is a legitimate job, if you really mean it. I know one, and he always seems busy and pretty happy. Always looking out for the next big score. Always a good chap to know, if you let him know the sort of thing you're after and pay cash.
>> No. 14712 Anonymous
5th June 2023
Monday 9:05 pm
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>>14711

I saw some sort of documentary a while ago where a lad was pulling in a very handsome sum with his own cleaning business, which he started just a few years after school. He was doing anything from deceased hoarder households to crime scene cleanups.

There's a real demand for that kind of work because not many people want to do it. The downside is that you see some pretty bad shit that most of us would never be prepared to deal with, both practically and emotionally.
>> No. 14713 Anonymous
6th June 2023
Tuesday 10:39 am
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>>14712
Not sure if it's the same documentary, but saw one based in the US with an eccentric guy running a clean up company, hired a lot of ex-cons and people who otherwise didn't have a great background, paid them well, and they'd deal with gross stuff. They developed their own range of enzyme based cleaning products to work specifically to get rid of blood, residues left by rotting flesh, shit, etc. Surprisingly interesting. Don't think they showed anything too graphic.
>> No. 14714 Anonymous
6th June 2023
Tuesday 11:01 am
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>>14713

This sounds like the kind of company you'd find as a parody radio advertisement in a Grand Theft Auto game.
>> No. 14715 Anonymous
6th June 2023
Tuesday 11:11 am
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Greg Davies did a whole comedy series about crime scene cleaners but it was that whole completely middle-of-the-road forgettable BBC schlock so nobody noticed.
>> No. 14716 Anonymous
6th June 2023
Tuesday 11:16 am
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>>14715
Do you work for BBC Comedy or something?
>> No. 14717 Anonymous
6th June 2023
Tuesday 3:13 pm
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>>14715
I watched that...
>>14716
...and it was pretty decent.
>> No. 14718 Anonymous
9th June 2023
Friday 3:05 pm
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Do you ever look at the clock and disbelieve how long it is until you finish for the day? It doesn't feel right that I've still got almost another two hours to go.
>> No. 14719 Anonymous
9th June 2023
Friday 3:12 pm
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>>14718

At my old job, my desk was just across from a big wall clock in an open-plan office for a while. It was very annoying to have to look at it constantly, because it both made it worse when you were in a hurry and time was running, and when you were bored out of your mind and the day seemed like it wouldn't pass at all.
>> No. 14720 Anonymous
13th June 2023
Tuesday 6:21 pm
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>>14718
Try to avoid looking at it for as long as possible, because once you do, time slows.
>> No. 14721 Anonymous
22nd June 2023
Thursday 12:24 pm
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Anyone saying things like "Ricardo, I've got a questionie for you."

He's a fiftysomething balding man named Richard. Nobody else calls him Ricardo.
>> No. 14722 Anonymous
22nd June 2023
Thursday 6:39 pm
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My boss is incredibly lazy. I was really desperate to get this kind of job so for the first year or so I kind of grin and bared it and I got a lot of work at first which was great for my development but left me ridiculously busy.

It feels like everybody knows my boss is very lazy, except for my boss' boss, or if that person is aware they hide it well which I guess they have to. I have received several commendations for my insane work ethic because all the work gets dumped on me. People who worked this role before me when I see them ask me if my boss is still exhibiting exactly the traits they exhibit now around not doing much, pinning blame on others, generally being lazy and shirking work. Others who leave the team often feedback the boss is the reason why. Other people in the office have made comments about it as well but less directly to me about how when others leave the team I'm the one doing all the work.

Just recently I've kind of run out of steam with it. I still work incredibly hard but I'm pushing back on taking on absolutely everything when my boss decides to push it and it's causing a bit of friction because they are so used o using me as this magic get out of jail free card.

I get into work early so I can leave early (within my company's agreed flexible start/finish hours, e.g. 8am start, 4pm finish) but despite knowing this my boss loves to ask for a 'quick' chat at the very end of my day, despite the fact they often start nearly two hours later than me every day then keeps me about inane stuff that could definitely wait. They will also take my work, give updates on it and then act like they did it, which I'm not petty enough to care for but do realise is a bad trait.

The final thing is that once or twice this boss has thrown previous employees who did my role under the bus when historic decisions that they should have had good oversight of went wrong, they will always say 'oh that stupid (insult) didn't do that I had asked' but it's ultimately their responsibility as the manager. I know therefore this will also be happening about me.

I'm looking for a new job imminently but feel like I'm also quite tired of this boss, how do I manage this in the interim ? Any tips? It's like everybody knows but we're all playing a game where we pretend it's not the case.
>> No. 14723 Anonymous
23rd June 2023
Friday 12:57 pm
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>>14722
>I have received several commendations for my insane work ethic because all the work gets dumped on me.

You need to be careful there, ladm8. From what I've witnessed working too hard can stall a career because someone will get overlooked for promotions if they are too difficult to replace in their current role. The reward for working hard is that they'll pile more and more work on you to see how far they can get away with stretching you.

Learn to take it easy and to stand your ground. Otherwise you're going to get marked as a pushover.
>> No. 14724 Anonymous
23rd June 2023
Friday 1:06 pm
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>>14722

>I'm looking for a new job imminently but feel like I'm also quite tired of this boss, how do I manage this in the interim ? Any tips? It's like everybody knows but we're all playing a game where we pretend it's not the case.

It'll probably get a bit easier if you can mentally commit to doing the bare minimum. You will find a new job quite quickly because we're in an incredibly tight labour market right now, so you just need to punch your card, bide your time and do barely enough to avoid getting sacked in the mean time.
>> No. 14725 Anonymous
27th June 2023
Tuesday 1:34 pm
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Unpaid lunchbreaks that mean you're expected to work later. I remember nobody talking about this until after the pandemic and then everyone started nodding along and getting on flexi-contracts.

Am I losing my mind or did we used to work 9-5?
>> No. 14726 Anonymous
27th June 2023
Tuesday 1:40 pm
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>>14725
I've no idea what you're on about. When I've worked full-time it's always been seven hours of working with one hour for lunch for me.
>> No. 14727 Anonymous
27th June 2023
Tuesday 3:17 pm
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>>14726
It's 0900-1730, but my work has people rocking up at 0800 and then going home at 1600 because they only had half an hour for lunch. Again, if they don't pay you then fuck 'em. I don't know where this 9-5 myth came from, though. How would we ever get anything done? That Dolly Parton, and to a lesser extent also that Sheena Easton, is full of shit.
>> No. 14728 Anonymous
27th June 2023
Tuesday 5:49 pm
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>>14727
When I did 12 hour shifts, I had mandatory 15 minute morning break, 1 hour lunch, 30 minute afternoon break. None of them paid, but I think legally I had to take those specific durations due to some worker protection laws.
>> No. 14729 Anonymous
27th June 2023
Tuesday 6:28 pm
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>>14727
>How would we ever get anything done?

By doing your job instead of sitting at your desk accounting for every minute of time. What do you do when it's a slow day?
>> No. 14730 Anonymous
28th June 2023
Wednesday 6:14 am
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>>14727
A job I walked out after 1 day for this and other reasons (them fucking me around basically) Was bad enough having an hour commute to and from but fuck having to stay 9 hours in the office since I can't cut the lunch break down.
>> No. 14731 Anonymous
28th June 2023
Wednesday 10:50 am
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I don't have enough proper food in and today's one of my days in the office so I've had to take in soup for dinner. Fucking soup.
>> No. 14732 Anonymous
28th June 2023
Wednesday 6:44 pm
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So I keep hearing about this tight labour market and all that. But where are the actual shortages? Do any of you lot know, so I can sort out a better job? I've always told myself I prefer an "easy life" over making money, but I'm sick of being skint, now, honestly.

I've done a bit of googling but the kind of results you get when you try search the internet about jobs make me want to kill myself. For a bit about me, imagine I've worked at non-degree positions in various laboratories for about the last 8 years, so I've loads of experience working with contamination risk, pouring chemicals into stuff, and babysitting very, very, very expensive machines, but no formal qualifications.

What could I look at?
>> No. 14733 Anonymous
28th June 2023
Wednesday 7:02 pm
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>>14732
Might sound like a trite question, but what is it you actually want to do?
>> No. 14734 Anonymous
28th June 2023
Wednesday 7:52 pm
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>>14733
>> No. 14735 Anonymous
28th June 2023
Wednesday 8:01 pm
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>>14732

>But where are the actual shortages? Do any of you lot know, so I can sort out a better job?

Pretty much everywhere. I know that isn't very helpful, but literally everyone I talk to is struggling for staff at pretty much every level. The public sector isn't in a position to just push up wages to get bums on seats, but the private sector is quite happy to get into a bidding war if they need a vacancy filling urgently.

If you're looking to advance your career, it might be worth looking at a degree apprenticeship. You might have to take a bit of a pay cut in the short term, but I'm seeing apprenticeships advertised with a starting pay of £25k-£28k with a fully-funded degree, so in five years you'd have a degree and no student debt.

If you're looking on the jobs sites, it's worth casting a wide net. Your experience of babysitting very expensive machines is extremely relevant across the manufacturing industry, which is all about babysitting expensive machines. I'm seeing production operative and machine operator jobs advertised at above £35k with no experience required.
>> No. 14736 Anonymous
28th June 2023
Wednesday 10:33 pm
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>>14732

I'm a programmer, and the job market seems slow to me, especially compared to pre-2020.

>>14735

Which job sites are you using?
>> No. 14737 Anonymous
29th June 2023
Thursday 12:02 am
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>>14736
>the job market seems slow to me, especially compared to pre-2020.

I'm a very senior geek too, you're exactly right - I changed job last year and it was impossibly difficult and tight compared to before and I know plenty of people experiencing the same.

There are a lot fewer jobs being advertised, a lot more people on the market, competition is intense and companies are not moving anywhere near as fast as they used to because of the economic uncertainty. It is much harder to find a job now, even if you have a lot of relevant and up to date skills.
>> No. 14738 Anonymous
29th June 2023
Thursday 12:43 am
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>>14737

The IT industry is very much the exception to the rule because of the post-pandemic contraction - there was a hiring spree when everything went WFH, money was getting chucked around like crazy, then we went back to normal (rather than "the new normal"), demand fell off a cliff and there were a raft of redundancies. IT has also been relatively unaffected by the major factor driving staff shortages, namely older workers withdrawing from the labour market - there just aren't a lot of tech workers in their late 50s or early 60s.
>> No. 14739 Anonymous
2nd July 2023
Sunday 4:06 pm
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I am a working class northerner and I sound like it too. At an after work social event somebody mentioned something about private school and another person said I'd be most likely to know.

Slightly bemused, and assuming it was some sort of joke, I asked what they meant and several people expressed mild shock when I said I hadn't been to private school. Assuming this was a joke I clarified I had not been in to private school and even somebody slightly more quiet followed up with 'wait did you actually not?'

Not sure what the fuck that's supposed to mean or what character traits I'm exhibiting in the office that somehow they confused a state school northerner with somebody that went to private school.

I've been trying to think of connotations but all I can think of is that they think I'm an arrogant arse or something.
>> No. 14740 Anonymous
2nd July 2023
Sunday 4:07 pm
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>>14739
I should also add that this is in a corporate office environment renowned for middle class type people, in the south of England.
>> No. 14741 Anonymous
2nd July 2023
Sunday 4:18 pm
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>>14740
Could it be more of a "this guy is working in a middle class corporate environment without going to private school?", than "this guy exudes private school vibes?".

When I was at uni, the majority of non-international students I met were private school educated southerners, so being working class comprehensive school northerner made me feel a bit isolated.
>> No. 14742 Anonymous
2nd July 2023
Sunday 4:23 pm
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>>14739
Is it possible the school on your CV shares a name or is a soundalike with a private one?
>> No. 14743 Anonymous
2nd July 2023
Sunday 8:32 pm
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I don't ever want to write a cover letter, doing it properly is going to take me an hour, and there's a good chance you'll reject me with a canned one liner.

My competencies are listed on my CV. My written communication skills are demonstrated in my CV. Why do you need more? If you want to know why I applied for your job we can talk about it on a call, after you've determined I'm a good match, by looking at my CV.
>> No. 14744 Anonymous
2nd July 2023
Sunday 10:44 pm
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>>14743
It's 2023. Knock it out in 5-10 minutes with ChatGPT.
>> No. 14745 Anonymous
2nd July 2023
Sunday 11:08 pm
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>>14744
Not him but I've found ChatGPT can't structure these things right. Believe me I've tried. I even fed it the data I've already written and told it to bring it up to the level I want.
>> No. 14746 Anonymous
2nd July 2023
Sunday 11:13 pm
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>>14743
I can bullshit a decent covering letter, over a covering video. Even for shit jobs like retail working at Games Workshop or O2 you need to send a video to show how normal and employable you are.
>> No. 14747 Anonymous
3rd July 2023
Monday 4:20 pm
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We have a desk booking system at work as the next evolution in hot-desking but people who have occupational health needs have a desk reserved for them. That's all very good and the right thing to do but I'm very sceptical that a recent trend has meant that every desk by a window with your back to the wall has been labelled by someone, this started a few months ago I might add despite the system being in place since the pandemic.

One guy has just taken over his desk space and brough in all his toys, decorations and personal IT kit around him like he's at home. I suspect some people are taking the piss when in reality they just need a specialist office chair for the one or two days a week they're in that has a 'do not adjust' label or they can just not have to come in.
>> No. 14748 Anonymous
3rd July 2023
Monday 9:28 pm
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>>14747
My work has desk booking too, only it's a team leader who can edit it. I've asked my team leader more times than I can remember to put me down but never has done.

Fuck it, I sit wherever is free now.
>> No. 14749 Anonymous
4th July 2023
Tuesday 9:19 am
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I seem to get a dozen emails a week from colleagues, often in other offices, peddling shit. Debbie, I don't want to buy raffle tickets for your son's school. Tracy, I don't want to buy your imitation perfume. Darren, I don't need to know every week when your son's mobile car valeting business is in Leicester.
>> No. 14750 Anonymous
6th July 2023
Thursday 10:39 am
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Some fucker has given me a cold.
>> No. 14751 Anonymous
6th July 2023
Thursday 7:39 pm
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I found out from a chat I'm in that there's been an explosion of bedbegs at one of the buildings my team occasionally visits but I'm on holiday and the last time I posted something when I was on leave I got a massive bollocking from my manager for it.

Hopefully my manager gets bedbugs but in all probability my office will also get them and then it's not much to then take them home with me.
>> No. 14754 Anonymous
2nd August 2023
Wednesday 12:08 am
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My new boss keeps trying to discuss feelings with me which may have been standard practice at her old job. She's moved to putting regular chats into my diary to strictly discuss personal growth and development which will be built on a psychometric test that list my weaknesses.

How do I set boundaries in the workplace without using my angry voice? I'm not interested in bringing my 'whole self' to the workplace.
>> No. 14755 Anonymous
2nd August 2023
Wednesday 9:55 am
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My chair has been taken. I know that I'm in the office one of the least and there is a new starter next week, but if you're going to give him my chair you can at least put another one at my desk.
>> No. 14756 Anonymous
2nd August 2023
Wednesday 10:09 am
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>>14754
If you can frame it using the sort of psychotherapy language she uses you should be golden.
>> No. 14757 Anonymous
7th August 2023
Monday 4:18 pm
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People who cc your boss into an email when they're having an irrelevant moan to some workplace commissioning you're doing. I've always been tempted to do it back to them but I know it won't end well if I do it.

Yes I don't like being given work either and no your team can't be the central source for commissioning because that just gets in the way. The best part is my boss is on holiday for the rest of the month so he's just made himself look like a cock for no benefit.
>> No. 14758 Anonymous
8th August 2023
Tuesday 3:01 pm
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I've been in my job just under three months and it looks like I may get dragged into workplace politics at some point.

My team is fairly small and the person with the most seniority and responsibilities, by virtue of being there the longest, is by far the slowest and least productive because she is "an overthinker". One of the directors started late last year and it's clear they don't like each other; they won't say anything directly but now that I'm a bit more settled in the comments they'll make to me in private about one another are becoming increasingly snide.

I just want to keep my head down. I don't want to get dragged into anything but it'll inevitably happen at some point when they start shifting responsibilities away from her and onto me.
>> No. 14759 Anonymous
8th August 2023
Tuesday 3:03 pm
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>>14758
Shag both of them. It's the only way.
>> No. 14760 Anonymous
8th August 2023
Tuesday 3:47 pm
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>>14759
One is a woman in her mid-forties who gives off a slightly reptilian vibe from too much beauty treatments. Not quite trout pout or bimbo, but she's definitely got lip fillers, botox and probably the occasional chemical peel as well. The other is in his fifties and has the aura of depressed divorced dad about him.
>> No. 14761 Anonymous
8th August 2023
Tuesday 4:01 pm
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>>14760

Arrange a threesome and let the two of them get at it.
>> No. 14762 Anonymous
15th August 2023
Tuesday 8:42 pm
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I am very good at my job and my manager doesn't do a huge amount and this is an openly acknowledged secret.

A few months ago I indirectly told my manager's manager that unless I get more money/promotion I will leave and they'll be in the shit because I do so much and only I know how to do half of it. They called my bluff so I went out and got another job offer. All of a sudden they're now offering me more pay on the condition I stay for a minimum amount of time.

I should take this sign for what it is and leave right? They tried to paint it as some sort of counter offer to do me a favour but it just winds me up that they're basically desperate because they know they're fucked without me. If they had have offered this when I first asked/hinted I would almost certainly be staying but now I don't think I will and their giant projects that I've been keeping going will be fucked. I find it so frustrating they just let this happen and they are throwing my decision into doubt at the last minute.
>> No. 14763 Anonymous
15th August 2023
Tuesday 8:59 pm
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>>14762
>I should take this sign for what it is and leave right?
Why? Ask for more, see how desperate they are. Worst thing they can do is refuse to give you a fat pay raise and you just go to the other place.
>> No. 14764 Anonymous
15th August 2023
Tuesday 9:26 pm
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>>14763
I don't know something about them now knowing I want to leave and the fact that they are backed into a corner? It's like they knew they were taking the piss but didn't care until it went too far and started to be a risk to them.
>> No. 14765 Anonymous
15th August 2023
Tuesday 10:58 pm
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>>14764
Your entire hand is being good at your job in a way they didn't realise until it became apparent you might leave. Now they know you really will leave they'll do what they can to make you less essential to the company. You've shown your hand, and within a year or two you won't have a hand to play anymore.

You did everything right, they chose to gamble and they lost. Enjoy your new job, I hope you find a place that values you for what you are.
>> No. 14766 Anonymous
15th August 2023
Tuesday 11:13 pm
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>>14762

Call their bluff right back. The trouble with bluff calling is that you also have to be prepared to play chicken, and they broke immediately didn't they.

Push them for as much as you can m8, you have a new offer after all so nothing to lose eh? This is how people climb. Be ruthless. Fuck 'em.

(Or so I am told.)
>> No. 14767 Anonymous
15th August 2023
Tuesday 11:17 pm
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>>14765
>I hope you find a place that values you for what you are.
>and their giant projects that I've been keeping going will be fucked.
They will when they hire him as a consultant on £500/day for the next six months.
>> No. 14768 Anonymous
17th August 2023
Thursday 8:59 pm
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>>14763
>>14766
Rule 0 of leaving: Never, ever, take the counter-offer. It's probably not going to include a fix for whatever prompted you to leave, and if you're fortunate enough to have pay reviews, expect your next one to consist of a single email saying "yeah, no".
>> No. 14769 Anonymous
17th August 2023
Thursday 9:52 pm
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My line manager is a useless cunt
>> No. 14770 Anonymous
18th August 2023
Friday 5:42 pm
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I work with several people who always mumble when they're on the phone. I've no idea what they're talking about half of the time.
>> No. 14771 Anonymous
19th August 2023
Saturday 2:48 pm
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>>14768
>Never, ever, take the counter-offer.

This is the best advice.
>> No. 14772 Anonymous
5th September 2023
Tuesday 5:08 pm
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"Have you completed this urgent case which has to be done today that you don't even know about because I accidentally emailed the request to someone else with the same forename?"
>> No. 14773 Anonymous
5th September 2023
Tuesday 5:49 pm
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>>14772
Well, have you?
>> No. 14774 Anonymous
5th September 2023
Tuesday 6:47 pm
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>>14772
>>14773
*tapping novelty watch that cost a week's worth of your wages but has no numbers on it*
>> No. 14775 Anonymous
5th September 2023
Tuesday 7:38 pm
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>>14773
It only took a couple of hours or so. Just the usual "this is now urgent because someone is kicking off due to how long another department have sat on it".

>>14774
You should still be able to tell the time with them.

You'd be looking at £25,000 and up for one of these.
>> No. 14776 Anonymous
20th September 2023
Wednesday 11:40 am
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I was explicitly told not to lead on coordination of a document across teams and to focus only on the section I was asked to. I got a 'bad dog no biscuit' for even following up with others on when they will be inputting so I can have consistency.

Today obviously I awoke to frantic messages from my boss asking why this document wasn't finalised and sent off because nobody had coordinated it and why it still had open comments.
>> No. 14777 Anonymous
20th September 2023
Wednesday 3:41 pm
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>>14776
You should ask him who was in charge of coordinating it, seeing as you'd been explicitly told not to do it.
>> No. 14778 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 9:36 am
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN3w_F9r-aI

This video is slightly depressing.
>> No. 14779 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 10:08 am
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>>14778
That you'd share a Jordan Peterson video in 2023 is more depressing than whatever the actual content is.
>> No. 14780 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 1:35 pm
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>>14778
I think even in that snippet at the end he admits that it's not so easy. I know from my own experience when I was a younglad that I cannot do data entry and I even had a job sending out letters that I was fired from for incompetence.

Now I work between posts on an arse-pissing forum for too much money so make of that what you will but from experience the people that really run offices are the administrative staff who can get meetings across multiple diaries and the one's who can corral other people. And I pay real men to do stuff like the electrics and plumbing. The lower-end jobs in terms of pay, at least on the level I interact with, can't really be replaced by AI because they require a specific social skillset that isn't easy to replicate even if you can brain good. Without wanting to get teleological about it, there probably are whole lives you're just a good fit for and on the flip-side if we're not utilising a certain pool of labour then it's the group that has the problem they need to work out how to utilise because otherwise it's wasted resource. A wasted resource when the labour market is already tight and we're bringing in elderly people to do

Obviously one-end it'll be neuralink chips but in the more immediate term there's probably something in how youths experiment in their early career and mess up a lot combined with the actual seriously impaired probably needing something more handwave. The former Communist world once specialised in finding these people work pushing brooms around at what-not so maybe it just needs a slight handwave about 'job-retraining' or some other government programme.
>> No. 14781 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 1:55 pm
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>>14779
Offer a realistic alternative or fuck off.
>> No. 14782 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 2:03 pm
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>>14780

People just have different brains suitable for different roles, at a very fundamental level, I think. It's not so much about IQ or anything, just predisposition.

Obviously I am pulling this out of my arse but I am pretty convinced of it- You have people who would have, way back in the past, been the hunters, and people who would have been the farmers. People who would have been hands on, pro-active, working with their hands for something immediate and direct, versus people who would have been planning forward, relying on a routine, doing things far less intuitive. And nowadays you can obviously imagine that being the "thick" lads who were good at sports and woodworking but struggled to pay attention in longer lessons, versus the nerds who couldn't kick a ball to save their life but could remember their times tables by heart no problem. Whatever, you get the distinction I'm making.

I think it's compounded that nowadays we take a lot of kids in the former group and go "oh they have ADHD" because they don't fit into our preconceived notions of what a "correct" brain works like, and we take kids who are too far in the latter group and go "oh they're autistic" for the same reason. But in reality what we're doing is just trying to shove everyone in the same box, one size fits all, school to uni to soulless office drudgery, and then we're surprised when that system fails so many people.

Now I may just have a chip on my shoulder because I almost certainly am one of those people. I'm not thick, by any means, but I've never bean able to fit in with what most ordinary jobs expect of me. There's something out there I'd be amazing at, but how do I get into it, or even find it, when all "The System" sees is a CV full of random jobs I've hopped between over the years, and they want me to have 5+ years of experience and a master's degree in that specific subject? I'm intelligent and I'm capable of doing great things, but the system doesn't have a place for me.

It's all bollocks.
>> No. 14783 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 3:00 pm
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>>14782
>People just have different brains suitable for different roles, at a very fundamental level, I think. It's not so much about IQ or anything, just predisposition.

I'm going off on a tangent here, but I think the distinction that often gets overlooked is the difference between knowledge and intelligence.

I'm reasonably smart, but I am largely able to coast through life because my brain is very good at retaining information. If I'm in a pub quiz or playing something like Trivial Pursuit that tests your knowledge then I'll do well. If it's something more to do with intelligence and thinking on your feet then I'm more likely to struggle; if I play my girlfriend at Scrabble then she'll wipe the floor with me unless I turn it into a war of attrition because she is a lot more intelligent than I am not that I'd admit it to her because she's excellent at managing to get points off two words in one turn whereas I notice opportunities for it with far less frequency.

I've worked with some brilliant people who can get written off as not being anything special because they might not be perceived as conventionally clever when the reality is they have a sharp mind and are very observant, but they're not really put in the position to play to their strengths.
>> No. 14784 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 3:14 pm
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>>14781
The realistic alternative is to not watch or share his videos. It's easier, in fact.
>> No. 14785 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 4:01 pm
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>>14784
Do you dislike him?
>> No. 14786 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 4:11 pm
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>>14785
Use your high IQ to figure it out.
>> No. 14787 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 7:36 pm
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>>14783

>the distinction that often gets overlooked is the difference between knowledge and intelligence

You see this at uni a lot. There are people who are just good at memorising things, and maybe they're even good at learning particular practical skills that their course involves. And they'll do quite well on exams, but when you talk to them, they can be thick as fuck. They're knowledgeable and intelligent enough to be good students, but you just hope that you won't be working with or for somebody like that after uni.

One of my best friends back then was in law school, and he got quite decent marks when he graduated, but you didn't really want to be his client because he was just incredibly useless at understanding practical things. He's just not very switched on with most things that aren't related to his legal education. His aspirations were to become a highly paid barrister, but it didn't work out for him, and instead he now works at the legal services department of the NHS. Which is highly structured routine work where a minimum of social intelligence or practical skills is required. But he seems to be doing well there.
>> No. 14788 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 8:38 pm
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So what kind of jobs should we get proper thick people to do?
>> No. 14789 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 8:39 pm
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>>14788
>> No. 14790 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 9:04 pm
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>>14779
I watched the video and have never watched a Jordan Peterson video before, having heard all about his reputation. Honestly, there is nothing offensive in the video whatsoever, apart from its preoccupation with IQ scores, which are bollocks used to massage the egos of failures.

>>14781
Firstly, I suggest telling everyone that IQ is a test of social background, not intelligence. Secondly, I would teach everyone enough statistical knowledge to recognise that "you guys watching this video will probably all have an IQ of minimum 125" is practically impossible. In terms of actually finding jobs for thick people, I will pass a law that all jobs everywhere must be advertised publicly, all recruitment companies must be shut down, and every job in the country will be listed on a central database. Then thick people can keep picking different thick-people jobs until they find one that they're good at. You can make a lot of money as a lorry driver or a plumber. You can probably do all right installing smoke alarms or air conditioning if you can't do those. I will also publicly execute one MP or CEO per week until society changes to offer more training for people doing the thick-people jobs. I assume that still counts as "realistic."
>> No. 14791 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 9:13 pm
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>>14788
Let's start a fucking band, dude.

>>14790
I'd follow you into Hell to help make your ambitions reality. Unless you're classlad in which case I will naked wrestle you to the death.
>> No. 14792 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 9:15 pm
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>>14788

>So what kind of jobs should we get proper thick people to do?


Don't think I've ever met a bright receptionist. Fit ones, but not bright.

Yeah. Just be fit and thick.
>> No. 14793 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 9:25 pm
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>>14788

The point is that a significant and growing proportion of the population are too thick to do anything genuinely useful in the modern economy. It isn't their fault, it's just that the world keeps getting more complicated. Mechanisation and automation increase our total productivity as a species, but they do so very unevenly - the brighter you are, the more effectively you can use those technologies to improve your own productivity and the productivity of other workers. This inevitably creates a cohort of workers who either can't keep up with the basic requirements of modern jobs, or who need so much training and supervision that there's no net benefit to actually employing them.

In a "meritocratic" society like ours, those widening disparities in productivity directly lead to widening disparities in incomes and standards of living. Asking "what jobs can thick people do" is a bit like someone in 1850 asking "now that we have the steam engine, what jobs can horses do?". The answer is inevitably and increasingly "nothing". The only long-term solution is to move towards a more redistributive society, based around the understanding that people who are too thick to be productive are just as deserving of a decent life as people who are too young or old or sick or disabled to be productive. Whether that's through a more generous welfare system or something like a Universal Basic Income, we need to create a true safety net to protect everyone from destitution.

We also need to seriously rethink our attitudes towards policies that might once have been seen as paternalistic. Beyond the world of work, it's getting harder to function in society. In the interests of efficiency, things like making a benefits claim or paying your bills have become more technologically complex.

Everything going online is often convenient for those of us with normal or above-average intelligence, but it's occasionally infuriating. For thick people it can be a Kafkaesque nightmare, because all these systems are designed by clever people who just assume that everyone can read, everyone can use a computer, everyone can remember a password, everyone can keep track of dates etc. Most people who get a benefits sanction or fall behind on their bills aren't lazy or feckless, they're just overwhelmed by a system that they aren't intelligent enough to cope with.

About 15% of school-leavers can't read well enough to understand a gas bill, or lack the numeracy to work out how much will be left in their bank account if they have £322.18 and a direct debit is taken for £184.55. That percentage is never going to meaningfully change no matter how good our schools are, because those people just aren't intelligent enough to handle those tasks. We need to design systems in society that work for everyone, not just the intelligent.

Just as you have the legal right to request a braille copy of your gas bill if you can't see well enough to read it, you should have the legal right to an explanation if you can't think well enough to understand it. Everyone in a customer-facing role or who implements customer-facing systems should be trained in how to communicate with people with limited intelligence. We should also be seriously investing in developing AI technologies, which have great promise in helping less intelligent people to navigate the world effectively.

We need to be much more aggressive about restricting business practices that prey on a lack of intelligence - not just overt fraud, but things that are misleading or needlessly complex or create traps for the unwary. It's manifestly unfair that people on pre-payment meters pay more for their electricity, it's wrong that Premiership football clubs advertise gambling companies and "crypto trading platforms", it's wrong that you need to be quite bright and determined to avoid being ripped off if you book a cheap flight or renew your car insurance.

Thick people didn't choose to be thick, but all too often we act as if they do. It's not their fault, they need our compassion and understanding and we have a moral duty to build a society that gives them safety and security.

https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/book-review-the-cult-of-smart
>> No. 14794 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 9:41 pm
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Yeah. you didn't really hit your points this sprint. Or last sprint, or the one before. I know we said the points were cosmetic and my contributions in LoC both + and -, useful reviews, and gentle tutoring over the chat system add up to a bit, but that just doesn't count anymore because we have a new system.

I give up. What I do no longer matters, just how management can account for it. They're trying to compress a creative process into a numbers system, and good luck for them. Good luck, I'll coast. What I try to introduce people to historical code despite my continued effort to migrate (a massive Py2 to P3 effort, 2to3 is not the end of it, dotting and crorssing the i's and t's).

MPs have sent a strong signal that they don't give five a fuck about encryption. So it's all just blather.

Type systems could help here, but we'll see.
>> No. 14796 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 10:17 pm
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>>14793


>The point is that a significant and growing proportion of the population are too thick to do anything genuinely useful in the modern economy

You'll just have to find your niche.

At the Asda down the road here, they've got a mong who stocks shelves and they're also letting him do all the simple odd jobs that the regular employees can't be arsed to do. He's a strong and stocky lad, as some of them are, which probably comes in handy. He seems happy. And in his own way, he's probably also contributing to their productivity.

I think there are a few similar jobs on the bottom tiers of the job market that are hard to replace. Janitors or security guards are probably also in there somewhere.
>> No. 14797 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 10:23 pm
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>>14793

You spend a lot of time talking about thick people versus clever people, but I think it is true, and it's been touched on in this thread already so it bears repeating, equally true and equally a problem in our modern economy that we're putting the non-thick people in the wrong places.

The central argument behind meritocratic liberal capitalism, whatever you want to call it, the current status quo, is that people choose their own direction in life. But people, even the very clever ones, can't be expected to make sensible decisions when they're 16-18 and they're being controlled more by their bollocks/ovaries than their brains.

I think we should be doing something to really direct people where they are needed. I think you are putting way too much emphasis on intelligence, when the truth is the vast majority of people are of reasonably average intelligence. They can be taught to do things, we just have to point them in the right direction. There's a minority of complete thickos, just like there's a minority of super geniuses, but the vast majority of people like me and you are just average.
>> No. 14798 Anonymous
27th September 2023
Wednesday 11:16 pm
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>>14797

>But people, even the very clever ones, can't be expected to make sensible decisions when they're 16-18 and they're being controlled more by their bollocks/ovaries than their brains.

That's why you don't make all your career choices for the rest of your life all at once at 18, but keep figuring it out for yourself as you go along.


>I think we should be doing something to really direct people where they are needed.

This was done very rigidly in most communist countries in the 20th century. By and large, you couldn't just decide you wanted to be an engineer or a factory worker or a scientist or an office clerk. In their centrally planned economies, they would postulate that they needed X number of prospective engineers in a given year and Y number of new factory workers. Which narrowed down your choices, if you had any. I don't think it's something we should implement here, because it really took away a huge chunk of your freedom to choose a career that was right for you.

And in a way, we've already got something like it, but tacitly. You're not going to get a job or training or an apprenticeship in a field that isn't hiring at a given moment. And in the end, they aren't hiring because that kind of work isn't needed. People aren't needed to do it.

The only field where I agree with you is universities that give out Mickey Mouse degrees. But not exclusively Mickey Mouse degrees. Universities are one of the few places where you can get whatever possible training you want, and not necessarily think about what you'll do afterwards. So you've got people studying all kinds of things so they can be what they think they want to be, but sometimes not a lot of thought is given to employability.

If we then limit the amount of Mickey Mouse degrees first and foremost because they're the ones that usually have the poorest immediate employability, of course it'll get a few people upset, there'll be accusations of elitism, and whatever else. Because naturally, it'll mean fewer people with a degree, and those Mickey Mouse degrees tend to cater to students who aren't as intelligent as mathematicians, physicists or engineers. But what's the point of a university degree when you can't go on to a kind of job in the first place that's open to graduates of the more traditional disciplines. A lot of their career paths would in the end have been attainable without any kind of university degree at all.
>> No. 14799 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 12:03 am
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>>14798

>That's why you don't make all your career choices for the rest of your life all at once at 18, but keep figuring it out for yourself as you go along.

Except the entire way through your education that is exactly what they drill into you. At the most they'll tell you it's alright to take a gap year, but after that you abso-fucking-lutely best crack on sonny Jim or you'll be working at the Morisson's meat counter the rest of your life.

You sound as though (I don't want to say "obviously", but I strongly feel like it) you came from a background where you were given a better briefing on what the future holds than mine. Your mum or dad had degrees themselves or at least, they were switched on enough to clue you in how the system works. You knew all this stuff and you were prepared. I remember my school's careers advice being utterly useless because frankly, what do you expect. It was a bunch of teachers. Teachers by definition don't know nowt about jobs. They're the fuckwits who couldn't even think their way out of school. The gist is that at my school, if your parents could give you solid pointers, you'd probably do well; if they couldn't, you were likely to be fucked. I'm not saying we need a bloody full on Marxist system of labour assignment or whatever you're on about but we definitely need to do better at pointing people in the right direction.

I mean frankly, if nothing else, it's just a waste of resources letting people aimlessly fuck about for most of their 20s until they crack it by themselves like I have done. You can be committed to personal freedom and still have this. People would still be free to fuck it all off and go on the dole.

I don't want to be cynical but underneath your posts I detect the tone of conservative duplicity. Saying a lot about how to confront and acknowledge certain things, while being extremely, clinically careful to ensure your own advantage remains untouched.
>> No. 14800 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 10:52 am
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>>14799

>I remember my school's careers advice being utterly useless because frankly, what do you expect. It was a bunch of teachers.

We had somebody from the local job centre who came to our school about every two months. I don't remember him being very helpful to me, but at least it was somebody who knew a bit more about the job world than most teachers. I do remember he discouraged me from studying English, which was probably for the better.


>I mean frankly, if nothing else, it's just a waste of resources letting people aimlessly fuck about for most of their 20s until they crack it by themselves like I have done.

I was like that, but I don't look back on it as wasted time. Yes, it's probably a good thing if you have a very definite idea what you want to do after school, and then go from A to B in a straight line and be a junior executive with a master's degree by age 25. But why not enjoy life a bit and try different things. You've still got your late 20s to early 60s to have a proper career.
>> No. 14801 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 11:18 am
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When I was at school the only careers guidance we had was filling in an online questionnaire on something called Kudos, which was meant to suggest jobs for us but all us lads did was search for things like 'fence erector' because that's what teenage boys do.

College wasn't much better. There was some support in the library, but they were only interested in people going to university and even then all they really did was review your personal statement and talk about how UCAS worked.
>> No. 14802 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 11:34 am
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I remember I had one appointment with a careers advisor the entire time I was at secondary school. We mostly talked about what bands we listened to for 90% of it. There was no guidance that I recall at A-level. University was a much nicer environment than most others I'd been in, so I toyed with the idea of becoming an academic, until I realised it was entirely dependent on finding funding and my face didn't really fit.

The only lesson I derived from all this is that you can't rely on others a fucking jot for figuring out what you want to do with your life. I became very ruthless about where I work and for what reason, and I've done very well as a result.
>> No. 14803 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 12:04 pm
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>>14802
>The only lesson I derived from all this is that you can't rely on others a fucking jot for figuring out what you want to do with your life.

My understanding is that the careers advice we had is a lot better than it was for older generations. When I've spoken with people who went to school in the 80s the careers advice they received was largely their teachers laughing at them, telling them they were thick and not to get ideas above their station. Unsurprisingly, it fucked a lot of them up.
>> No. 14804 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 1:07 pm
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>>14803

It undoubtedly didn't do anyone any favours, but at the same time society did offer a lot more flexibility in the past. You could rise up through the ranks in a company without any prior experience or qualifications. You could quit your job on a Friday and walk in off the street to a totally different job the following Monday. Nowadays you have to plan out 5 years in advance how you're going to re-train, get a degree, do a year of unpaid "experience" and still pay your bills in the meantime.

I'm being a bit hyperbolic but it is largely true. I think the need for good, solid career advice and a grounding in what to expect from life is more important now than ever because things just simply don't work the way they used to. Employers want specialised staff and they don't want to put a penny into training those staff themselves. I don't see that changing any time soon, sadly, so we will have to put a lot more thought into preparing our workforce for that environment.

Thatcherlad might not like it but he's a retard. Having sinkhole estates full of dossers and junkies is a symptom of this issue, not the cause.
>> No. 14805 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 1:22 pm
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>>14802
>careers advisor at secondary school
I remember using a future careers computer program at school - totally antisocial, ticked all the boxes pertaining to comfort in my own company. My mates and I had a laugh when the sole suggestion was 'golf course grounds keeper' but I was quietly begrudging that despite my apparent intellect I was denigrated to such a menial, unispired job.
little did I realise it would have been the perfect job for me - watching the seasons all year round, collecting plant samples and wildlife trinkets, maybe even sleep in a shed from time to time. All with a druids responsibility for the land.
>> No. 14806 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 3:22 pm
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>>14802
>The only lesson I derived from all this is that you can't rely on others a fucking jot for figuring out what you want to do with your life.

It depends on your expectations. I wouldn't expect somebody to decide for me what kind of career would be best for me. People will make suggestions, some good, some bad. And your job even as an 18 year old is then to figure out what you feel most drawn to.

Or just spend your early 20 bumbling about going from one joe job to the next. Plenty of people do that, before it comes to them what it is they actually want to do with their lives.
>> No. 14807 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 3:55 pm
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So, can we all conclude that nobody knows what they're doing and nobody can really help you. A young person on the conveyer belt of life flails their limbs around in the glitter of life and hopes something sticks which usually falls into some sort of place in their 20s. But you might sometimes have to do a bit of a butterfly crawl I guess.

I think we can go further and say that's probably how your actual life works too. Now and it'll be the same in the future. Forever. The end.

>> No. 14808 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 3:57 pm
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>>14806
>it comes to them what it is they actually want to do with their lives.

You just repeated what I said in slightly more accusatory terms, lad.
>> No. 14809 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 4:07 pm
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>>14807

Or, instead of all the moping, just be glad you have options today and a chance to change your mind or come up with a plan B if something doesn't work out for you.

A few decades ago, if you were a working class lad, you went to work in a factory at 16 and that would pretty much be your whole life. People didn't complain much. Not because their life wasn't shit, which it usually was, but because there was no point complaining. Unlike today, if you were poor, you pretty much had no options.
>> No. 14810 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 4:53 pm
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>>14807

Nah, I think there's just a lot of pessimistic laissez faire lads here, which weirdly enough I have noticed tends to be the type of position most people adopt once they reach a decent place in their own lives.

Personally, even though I'm doing alright, I own my own home and I don't have all that much to want for, I went through an awful struggle to get here, ups and downs and blood and sweat and heartbreak and all that. I remember the confusion, frustration and desperation I felt at points, and I don't think we should just shrug and let that be the "normal" state of affairs. Not in least because the fact is, a great many people don't go through that at all, and when they talk about this subject they always make out like they've been through the same rollercoaster, when they frankly just haven't. They were born to the right people in the right part of the country and the last thing they would ever do is say "yeah, I was pretty fortunate really."

Nobody can decide for a 16 year old lad what he should do. Nobody can make him actually work hard at his studies. Nobody can do a Voight Kampff test on you before you enter uni and make sure you do exactly the right degree. But what we could do is give people a real, honest picture of what the world of work is like. We could give them a real, frank, honest idea of what to expect, instead of filling their head full of nonsense. What we can do is fucking anything other than the bare minimum.

But nobody cares, do they. Which is why this country will carry on to be the sinking ship that it is.
>> No. 14811 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 5:08 pm
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>>14809

>Unlike today, if you were poor, you pretty much had no options.

Actually, in absolute terms, income mobility has been in pretty consistent decline since the 70s.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1084566/State_of_the_Nation_2022_A_fresh_approach_to_social_mobility.pdf

More people are moving up the scale in terms of profession, but getting a professional job isn't paying off like it used to. We don't have social mobility, we have a treadmill where people have to climb the ladder just in order to avoid getting poorer.
>> No. 14812 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 6:44 pm
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>>14811

Well I think we can still agree that there is more career mobility today.

Of course you'll stay poor if you grew up with pauper parents who couldn't discourage you from doing a Mickey Mouse degree because they barely had their GCSEs. Life isn't always fair.

But this whole debate the last 20 posts was about career choices. Not necessarily about finding a career that pays well.
>> No. 14813 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 9:48 pm
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>>14812

That very much depended on whether you passed your 11 plus. Career advice for secondary modern kids might have been "factory or pit", but grammar school kids had a fast-track to a good university and a proper career. Much fewer people went to university back then, but a degree meant much more when only a small minority of the population had one.

Today, there's no such route for bright-but-poor kids to move beyond their circumstances. There was a lot wrong with the 11 plus, but today your life chances are much more dictated by how savvy and sharp-elbowed your parents are in terms of getting you into the right school, pushing you to take the right A-levels, getting you into the right university etc.
>> No. 14814 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 10:48 pm
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>>14813
> but a degree meant much more when only a small minority of the population had one.

True. More and more people want a piece of the pie, but the pie is growing too slowly for everybody to get a worthwhile piece. There just aren't enough proper jobs for people with a degree.

If you're an engineer or a doctor or barrister and you're good at what you do, you won't starve. But all those kids with a liberal arts degree simply aren't qualified to work in most higher-level jobs, because their courses don't teach them hard skills. A few of them will always end up finding their place in academic research or government institutions, but there's a reason why there are so many liberal arts graduates in jobs like low- to mid-level marketing, public relations or sales. Because you learn fuck all real-world skills if you study sociology or archaeology. And so they end up occupying jobs that realistically don't need a degree at all, and by doing so, they make it harder for people who didn't go to uni but went into an apprenticeship or who are trying to learn their trade on-the-job.
>> No. 14815 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 11:02 pm
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>>14814

Precisely. I won't be surprised if in another decade or two they are expecting degrees for shelf stackers and burger flippers; we're already in a situation where those types of jobs are the only thing available to people without a degree. Employers are shooting themselves in the foot by making this a minimum requirement.

I once applied for a sound tech job. Didn't even get an interview. For context, as an amateur musician for most of my 20s, I co-ran a small studio for several years, I've been the sound guy on gigs, I've engineered and produced albums. But I didn't do music tech at uni. At that point I knew what I was doing and I guarantee I would've been better at that job than whatever useless Tarquin ponce they did take on, but they weren't even interested in my application.

Maybe we should just sack the whole system off and replace it with aptitude tests instead of job interviews.
>> No. 14816 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 11:28 pm
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>>14815

A sound engineering degree is probably still a hard skillset that's useful if you actually want to do something like you appear to be doing. I'm not sure you're competing with somebody with a liberal arts degree because of their liberal arts degree.

One of my acquaintances at uni was studying ethnology, but his real passion was heavy metal music. He finished his degree, but never really worked in that field, and ended up becoming a music promoter for obscure and/or foreign heavy metal bands at a music PR agency. He was originally from Poland, so he had inside knowledge of the Polish and Eastern European heavy metal scene. Bit of a niche job, but he was doing well with it.
>> No. 14817 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 11:41 pm
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>>14816

My career nowadays is totally unrelated to music, it's just one of the many things I have done over the course of my life, and I think that particular occasion was one of the times that really set off a realisation in me of how the game is rigged.

Not necessarily just rigged in favour of one group over another (though that's part of it), but just at times completely nonsensical and arbitrary. You have to be the right person in the right place at the right time and that's about it.
>> No. 14818 Anonymous
28th September 2023
Thursday 11:59 pm
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>>14815
>I once applied for a sound tech job. Didn't even get an interview.
>once applied
>once
There's your problem. You always need to apply for hundreds of jobs. I remember that after I got my Psychology degree from a top-20 Russell Group university, I took it monumentally personally when I failed in every metric of adulthood for several years, trudged sadly into Burger King, filled out an application form to flip burgers, and didn't even get an interview for that.
>> No. 14819 Anonymous
29th September 2023
Friday 11:43 am
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For a bit of perspective, this is what being thick and working a menial job is actually like.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDXvXACIEA
>> No. 14820 Anonymous
29th September 2023
Friday 1:45 pm
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>>14819
>self reflection, insight into own behaviour
Is this even possible with an IQ of 70?
>> No. 14821 Anonymous
29th September 2023
Friday 2:46 pm
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>>14820

His IQ was measured at 70 at one point in his childhood, but that doesn't mean that his IQ is 70 now - a lot of kids are a bit ahead or behind in their development, but move closer to the average as they grow up. With that said, I doubt that his current IQ is above 80.


An IQ of 70 is low, but not extreme. 2% of the population are at or below that level. There are almost certainly people in your life with that sort of IQ, whether you realise it or not. We're talking about the slowest kid out of two form groups in your school.

At the lower end of the IQ spectrum, there's often a great deal of unevenness to mental development. Some people with severe autism are completely non-verbal, but have exceptional spatial or numerical ability. Conversely, some people with a nonverbal learning disability can converse perfectly normally, but can't tell the time or count a handful of loose change.

From a skim of his other videos, this lad clearly has broad difficulties in navigating the world. He comes across as quite articulate in this video, but in some of his other videos his speech is more meandering, disorganised and repetitive; I'd wager that he comes across as far less normal in person.

His account of working at McDonalds has a lot of echoes with the anecdote given by Jordan Peterson in the video that started this discussion. Even after months of practice and training, he was still struggling to keep up with what he describes as the simplest tasks in the restaurant. I take my hat off to the lad, because he's got far more backbone than me.
>> No. 14822 Anonymous
29th September 2023
Friday 3:18 pm
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I think we're leading onto a bigger, and perhaps, in my opinion, more interesting question, here.

Is it possible to actually become more intelligent? Can you work on your brain muscle and develop a higher IQ (let's leave aside how much of a bullshit arbitrary measurement that actually is for a moment, for sake of discussion) and make sick gains of the brain, and go from a wimpy noodle-brain to a hulking intellectual heavyweight, like you can lift lots of heavy things until you're ripped like Van Damme?

I mean, I think that's a question Jordan Peterson should be interested in, because quite apart from his politics, which I generally disagree with but find to be occasionally interesting, I've always thought the man comes across as a bit thick. If you've seen his debate with Are Slavoj he comes across like a first year uni student who stayed up too late on the WKDs the night before in comparison, it's frankly embarrassing. But what separates these two men? Is it purely genetic, or is it socialised? And if it's socialised, can we continue to work on it later in life like you can learn a new instrument or take up a new language?

>>14819
>>14821

I think cases like this guy are more than lack of intelligence, just extremely severe ADHD. It's one of those meme diagnoses that every parent wants to slap their kid with nowadays, but it really is a pretty severe impairment to genuine sufferers. You can be an Einstein super genius but if you can't wrangle your thoughts into a straight line for more than half an hour you're never going to get anywhere in life.

The brain is a hugely complex thing.
>> No. 14823 Anonymous
29th September 2023
Friday 3:51 pm
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>>14821
For me it was how he decided to film himself for Youtube with his foot on the chair like he's lecturing me about the forest.

>>14822
In terms of IQ its measured in the ability to reason which has been on a broad uptick since IQ measurements began and they've steadily made them harder over time. These days you can even see a spectrum across the world in national scoring which won't all be driven by genetics and nutrition.

I think we've all seen the opposite happen to our parents on retirement and I definitely get mentally sharper if I get back into reading even if the reason isn't quite understood. If we wanted to translate this into state policy it's pretty intuitive that we add in a mixture of books, school meals, longer and more intensive school hours and a big helping of systems and programming training for their future environment. All of which cost money so I guess that most kids can just go fuck themselves.

>I think that's a question Jordan Peterson should be interested in, because quite apart from his politics, which I generally disagree with but find to be occasionally interesting, I've always thought the man comes across as a bit thick

I think he's just got whatever Linehan caught and the chief symptom is that it makes you emotional. Like a low-level panic attack. He is objectively clever and has written much more in-depth work in his subject field on myths but I definitely noticed when I read him that something is mentally wrong going on that caused him to spit out entire droll chapters on schools and gender. Similarly in the Žižek debate he didn't even realise that he mostly agreed with him about modern academic politics but was much MUCH better read on political theory and it was foolish to make it that kind of debate.
>> No. 14824 Anonymous
29th September 2023
Friday 4:10 pm
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>>14822

I'm pretty sure there are people who just don't fully realise their potential.

For example, a friend's girlfriend, now wife, first left school at 16 and spent years working jobs as a waitress, receptionist, telesales agent or similar. And then a few years later she met my friend, who was a law school graduate and doing his thesis at the time, and one way or another, it gave her the idea that she could do more. So she went back to school to get her A levels and then completed a business degree.

The lad in the video probably has serious difficulties, but I also wouldn't take slowness or clumsiness at performing manual tasks as the best or most unequivocal indicator of somebody's intelligence. I've seen highly trained academics with PhDs struggle completely with everyday tasks. Like that one time we helped a friend move, and it took three of them more than ten minutes to load a fridge freezer into the back of an older Volvo estate with a gaping wide hatch. Another one tried to disassemble a kitchen storage cabinet and it fell in on him and hurt his head because it didn't occur to him that the walls of a cabinet don't stay up if you remove the screws that hold them together.
>> No. 14825 Anonymous
29th September 2023
Friday 4:15 pm
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>>14822

>Is it possible to actually become more intelligent?

Not to any significant extent, as far as we know. The big rise in average IQ over the last century has mainly been achieved by removing things that stunt brain development - malnutrition, lead exposure, smoking while pregnant, parasitic infections etc. There's more we can do in this respect, particularly for the most deprived children, but we've picked most of the low-hanging fruit.

Keeping people in school for longer adds, at best, 0.3 IQ points for each additional year of education, but even that is probably mostly confounded. Targeted interventions to increase IQ ("brain training") have shown negligible benefits.

>But what separates these two men? Is it purely genetic, or is it socialised?

Peterson was a very good university lecturer who was, mainly for political reasons, rapidly catapulted into the position of public intellectual. He's far from dim, he can make the average interviewer look like a chump, but he just isn't quite of the calibre of someone like Zizek. I think that Peterson was quite complacent going into the debate, because he got used to arguing with people like Cathy Newman and forgot the kind of drubbing that an Actual Professor can dole out if you stray onto their turf.

It's also worth bearing in mind that Peterson has a long history of fairly severe mental illness, which absolutely has not been helped by his fame. If you compare his old public appearances with his more recent ones, it's clear that his critical faculties are quite badly impaired by his very ragged mental health. Severe depression can often look very much like dementia.

https://gpsych.bmj.com/content/36/4/e100939
>> No. 14826 Anonymous
5th October 2023
Thursday 5:50 pm
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They're really funny at work about crossing on the stairs. I think it's a West Yorkshire thing; I never experienced it before I moved here.
>> No. 14827 Anonymous
10th October 2023
Tuesday 11:47 pm
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Week six of call centre wagie life.

I understand it's the whole point of being a customer service rep, but having to grovel to customers for someone else's fuck up is really grating on me.

Customer books an engineer appointment between 9AM and 1PM. Gets to 1PM. No engineer. I look on the system, appointment definitely booked. I phone engineer, he tells me he had another engagement in the morning so he won't be there til later that afternoon. I then have to phone the customer to explain that. The engineer has the customer's contact details, he could very easily have spared 30 seconds and sent a text letting them know he'll be late, but no I have to go back and forth and get the brunt of the anger/disappointment from the customer.

To be fair, most customers who are pissed off with us do acknowledge it's not my fault, it's the higher ups to blame, and I appreciate that. But yesterday had a woman shouting over me down the phone because my computer system was running too slowly for her tastes. I'm sure I'll get hardened to it, but I fear conflict and aggression so it's not a great job in that sense.
>> No. 14828 Anonymous
11th October 2023
Wednesday 3:36 pm
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>>14827

You certainly do get used to it. And a lot of the public are just fucking odd, so I wouldn't give it too much thought.

I would suggest spending all your free time trying to get another job outside the call centre.
>> No. 14829 Anonymous
11th October 2023
Wednesday 4:08 pm
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>>14827
>I then have to phone the customer to explain that
Whats the protocol for such situations? I'd imagine 'You're absolutely right, this is unacceptable' is unprofessional, as though you're joining the customers side of the complaint and painting the company in a bad light, but what else is there to do?

I once made a complaint about lockdown rules to a public travel service and they came back with ' I'm sorry you feel that way'.
>> No. 14830 Anonymous
11th October 2023
Wednesday 5:09 pm
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>>14829
We're not allowed to slag off the company, but we can admit some of the stuff we've done is bad and then try play up the positives. Very much a "I'm sorry but our hands are tied/I'm afraid it's just company policy" sort of thing.
>> No. 14831 Anonymous
18th October 2023
Wednesday 3:06 pm
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I didn't have a sniffle before I went into work today.
>> No. 14832 Anonymous
22nd October 2023
Sunday 7:48 pm
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My stupidly bad call on staying in a role on a counter offer for more money when I was poised to leave.

They begged me to stay, offered me more money and the autonomy to crack on with the unglamorous but important work I've been doing.

Lo and behold when it gets near the glory points my lazy manager has swooped back in, cutting me out more than I've ever been, and now I'm basically a well paid substitute on the bench unable to get a look in at the work (which they're all fucking up what little is left, because they don't get it).

Had a wobble last week and said I've had enough and now they're panicking again saying how important i am. Good luck losing the one person that has any fucking sense what's going on.
>> No. 14833 Anonymous
23rd October 2023
Monday 12:04 pm
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They like to send around an email on a Monday morning outlining who has days off this week. There's been three follow-up messages since then about people who've either changed their leave or booked a day off that's not been logged on the main records. This happens almost every single week.
>> No. 14834 Anonymous
25th October 2023
Wednesday 12:11 am
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>>14832
If you're the lad that was mulling a counter earlier, and I assume you were because there's only three of us here, that sounds like exactly the sort of thing you were warned about.

This is why the advice is to never, under any circumstances, take the counter-offer. If they wanted to pay you that much, they could have paid you that much at any time.
>> No. 14835 Anonymous
26th October 2023
Thursday 1:05 pm
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"I saw on LinkedIn you changed jobs about five months ago and I always make a note to phone people four or five months after starting a new job to see whether they're settled or if I can help them find somewhere new."

Fucking recruiters.
>> No. 14836 Anonymous
26th October 2023
Thursday 7:31 pm
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Next Tuesday (Halloween) we have an office "fuddle". We're encouraged to dress up and bring in food and stuff, and we all socialise. I don't know how it works in terms of they need staff on the phones to actually operate the business. Can we fuck customers off so we can dress as sexy nurses and eat sweeties? We also have a Halloween quiz.

Similar miserable git complaint - birthdays. If you agree to celebrate birthdays, you get assigned someone and it's your responsibility to buy them a present for their birthday. I opted out of the birthday scheme.

I find office life/politics very weird. Our floor must have spent over £100 on Halloween decorations, it just seems bizarre to me.
>> No. 14837 Anonymous
26th October 2023
Thursday 8:22 pm
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>>14836
At the last place I worked there was a birthday club where if you joined in you chipped in a quid when it was someone's birthday and you gave them the money, so you'd effectively get it back on your own birthday as some weird interest-free savings scheme. They went a bit nuts at Christmas, but that was it.

Where I work now you bring in treats for your birthday and there's no cards or presents, which is the same as at every other job I've had apart from my last one. I was working from home that day, but it does sound like they tried to make last month's Macmillan coffee morning into an all day event of fun activities.
>> No. 14838 Anonymous
31st October 2023
Tuesday 5:54 pm
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>>14836
This was as horrible as I expected, but I did most of the stuff as it was an escape from working.
>> No. 14839 Anonymous
1st November 2023
Wednesday 12:19 am
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The senior leader I report to has decided to harness my reputation for creative problem solving by holding a discussion session on key future questions for the entire organisation. Mostly how we manage ambition against a difficult fiscal and staffing environment. At 9am the morning after I've had to go to a conference all-day today and when I've been run ragged all week with work.

This is not a conductive environment for my flourishing.
>> No. 14840 Anonymous
1st November 2023
Wednesday 1:02 pm
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>>14839
>I've noticed that you're sounding very deflated this morning, can you prepare some reflections on how you're doing
>> No. 14841 Anonymous
16th November 2023
Thursday 6:18 pm
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I'm going to have to start buying jumpers because the office is slightly too cold and the women get all fussy about the heating.
>> No. 14847 Anonymous
23rd November 2023
Thursday 7:24 pm
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A couple of weeks ago I had one of the directors sound me out about a new role they are creating, essentially managing the team I'm in now with a few other responsibilities thrown in, which I said I'd be interested in. Realistically there's only one other viable candidate and I know they're interviewing for a job elsewhere so they're unlikely to go for it.

During our departmental meeting today he announced they were coming up with the role and for anyone interested in applying for it to send him an email, but then he mentioned they'd be advertising it externally as well. I don't know why, but that's left me with a bit of a weird feeling.
>> No. 14848 Anonymous
23rd November 2023
Thursday 8:39 pm
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The company that bought my company (we were a better company and yes, everyone is bitter) is going to buy all of us a Christmas present. We can choose one present from a list that was sent round today. There are two chocolate gift boxes to choose from, or you can have six bottles of wine or prosecco.

My company is 80-90% male, and they have wine and prosecco but no beer. One of the only women in the company is in charge of choosing the gifts. Also, one of the chocolate gift boxes can't be got any more because the company stopped making them in October, which makes me feel like we were an afterthought for the company that bought us and that they sorted all their Christmas presents out two months ago.

I know you shouldn't complain about a gift, and I know this site has longstanding issues etc etc, and that's why I'm not complaining at all. I am merely stating the facts as I see them.
>> No. 14849 Anonymous
30th November 2023
Thursday 5:50 pm
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At some point in December we've got a celebration day, where instead of having our regular team meeting and our individual lunches, we get a 1.5 hour mega lunch for socialising and Christmas activities. I'm dreading it because I have no social skills, but then again 1.5 hours away from the job instead of just 30 minutes is appealing.
>> No. 14850 Anonymous
30th November 2023
Thursday 6:35 pm
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We've got an office jobsworth. I'm not entirely sure what her job title is but most of her tasks could easily be automated through spreadsheets or using our client management system better and I think she is aware of this, so she gets very petty about the general upkeep of the office to try and seem important.

Today she started complaining when someone on the other side of the office had a heater under their desk, saying it hadn't been PAT tested. When it turns out that wasn't the case she started whining saying we shouldn't have them at all "because of health and safety". Last week she got her knickers in a twist because she was about to challenge visitors for using out car parking spaces and went on a long tirade about using the meeting room calendars properly; the meeting had been booked in absolutely fine. The week before that she was moaning about the window cleaner because he'd cleaned the insides as well, as he usually does, but he'd had to open the new blinds to do this and because he doesn't work here he won't have seen her email about how expensive the new blinds were and how we have to be careful with them and why didn't anyone think of telling him about them?

She regularly sends out emails on anything she can think of, such as regularly sanitising your work station, making sure you clean the microwave after use, how to stack cups and glasses in the dishwasher, how to correctly store any laptops you've taken home when you return them. Any old shit.
>> No. 14851 Anonymous
30th November 2023
Thursday 7:58 pm
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Sweet suffering fuck. I would be choking down sarcastic reply-all emails.
Does she have an actual job?
Maybe worth thinking about the cost of (emails * recipients * 5 minutes attentive reading each) and putting a price on this fuckwittery?
>> No. 14852 Anonymous
30th November 2023
Thursday 11:18 pm
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>>14851

Fortunately for her, ChatGPT is unstintingly polite and helpful, so her job is safe for now.
>> No. 14853 Anonymous
1st December 2023
Friday 9:17 pm
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Work in energy. Had a customer call without hot water. Next appointment available is in a week's time. She says it's an emergency as she has kids, youngest being 8. I foolishly say we only consider children 5 or under as priority.

15 minutes later my colleague approaches me and says she called back saying she needs an emergency appointment because she's got a five year old child at home. If I were in the customer's shoes I probably would have done the same. But what do you do in that situation? Accuse them of lying?
>> No. 14854 Anonymous
1st December 2023
Friday 10:14 pm
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>>14853
Tell her she meant to say five and give her an emergency appointment in the first place. You work for a fucking energy company, the least you could do is cheat the bastards a bit.
>> No. 14855 Anonymous
1st December 2023
Friday 11:14 pm
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>>14853
You're a customer service agent. Start serving customers and drop the copper role play.
>> No. 14856 Anonymous
1st December 2023
Friday 11:19 pm
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>>14853
Why do you give a fuck? It's the coldest weather this year you monster.
>> No. 14858 Anonymous
1st December 2023
Friday 11:40 pm
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>>14853
Of course she's going to lie, she's going to look after her kids and knows there's not anything someone who wears a headset for a living can do about it. Next time apologies for the situation and say you'll make a note rather than telling someone how to subvert your own programme.

>>14854
>>14855
>>14856
What exactly do you think the energy company is doing wrong in this situation? There have limited engineers, a surge in demand and they're triaging coverage on need.
>> No. 14859 Anonymous
2nd December 2023
Saturday 10:26 am
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>>14854
>>14855
>>14856
>>14858
I did genuinely try to get her seen the first time but it was literally impossible. The main issue is we've got a shortage of engineers. Our procedures mean we can cancel non-essential appointments for people with loss of supply, but can't cancel one loss of heating/hot water for another. I tried to get her an out of hours appointment for the evening of the day she called, but was told by higher ups that there's no availability at all.

When I asked my supervisor what the protocol is when a customer changes details in this way, she told me we have to press the customer to find out the truth. Luckily it was my colleague dealing with this bit.

Some people are waiting over two weeks to get their heating fixed. I've worked in a lot of customer service roles, but never felt like such a bastard until this one.
>> No. 14865 Anonymous
18th December 2023
Monday 12:46 pm
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I guess it's less of an annoyance and more of something I find really bizarre but, for some reason, at work all of the men get addressed by their full forename. Not even my parents call me by that.

I don't know, maybe one day I'll be enough of a maverick to start referring to people as "Joe, Matt, Tim or Nick" instead of having to say "Joseph, Matthew, Timothy or Nicholas" every single time and see what happens.
>> No. 14871 Anonymous
2nd January 2024
Tuesday 12:53 pm
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It turns out it's tradition for the women at work to bring in all the chocolate and junk they've received over Christmas which they won't eat at home. I've already eaten enough as it is over the past week, I don't need a mountain of chocolate near my desk.
>> No. 14872 Anonymous
24th January 2024
Wednesday 12:10 am
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I just wish that I could do one thing at a time.
>> No. 14895 Anonymous
14th March 2024
Thursday 4:08 pm
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Can you lads recommend a decent and inexpensive hands-free kit? There's a lass in my team who has ADHD and autism who calls me every day and I'm lucky if she's on for less than an hour.
>> No. 14896 Anonymous
14th March 2024
Thursday 5:25 pm
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>>14895

https://www.amazon.co.uk/soundcore-Wireless-Bluetooth-Water-Resistant-Customization-Black/dp/B0BTYCRJSS/
>> No. 14897 Anonymous
14th March 2024
Thursday 6:53 pm
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When a customer is unhappy or explicitly raises a complaint, it goes on the caseload of the advisor who picked up the phone/email. So if someone rings up to moan her bills are high (as happened this week), I have to investigate and take responsibility for it.

We are monitored on complaint compliance and can face sanctions for not being compliant. A month or so ago I built up 18 complaints. I got in trouble for this, they distributed 8 to other advisors, and said if I don't buck my ideas up I'll get put on an informal plan. BUT because I'm on a final warning because of attendance, that informal plan would trigger dismissal. Why excess sickness in the same category as performance, but lateness isn't, I'm not sure.

But complaints are a Sisyphean task. Every time that phone rings, it's a dice roll whether I'll get a new complaint. If you're found to have not raised a formal complaint based on the customer's tone, that's a failure. But then it's a situation where I am scared to raise a complaint unless they explicitly ask for it, because it adds to my caseload.

Complaints can only be worked by one person per team at any given time. Today I came in an hour early unpaid, just to get time to work on today's actions. I'm probably going to have to work a couple of hours unpaid at the weekend to keep on top of things. Other people do this too.

I'm thinking of killing myself at work tomorrow on Red Nose Day, the day of laughter, because I think that would be funny and subversive.

Sorry for rambling my head gets in a bad way during/after work.
>> No. 14898 Anonymous
14th March 2024
Thursday 8:53 pm
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>>14897
Have you considered doing literally any other job? Even if you lose the next job after three months because of too many absences again, surely that's still a better three months than three more months of what you're doing now.
>> No. 14899 Anonymous
14th March 2024
Thursday 9:23 pm
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>>14897
Please tell me you work for OvoEnergy..
>> No. 14900 Anonymous
14th March 2024
Thursday 9:32 pm
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>>14898
I've applied to go part time as I think that might make things (other than complaints I guess) more manageable. I've been offered a place at uni so if I can hold out six more months.

>>14899
No, another much bigger energy corp.
>> No. 14901 Anonymous
14th March 2024
Thursday 10:14 pm
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>>14897
>I'm thinking of killing myself
Hey! Me too! But it sounds like things might be on the up for you by the end of the year, so hold off for now, even though I'm usually game for anything "funny and subversive".

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