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>> No. 9430 Anonymous
26th January 2016
Tuesday 10:09 pm
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Huddersfield charity shop finally says goodbye to a shutter which lasted 26 years


http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/huddersfield-charity-shop-finally-says-10780879

That's it. That's literally it. A charity shop has replaced one of its roller shutters after having the same one for 26 years. It's all go in Huddersfield.

I challenge you lads to find a more pointless news story than this.
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>> No. 14181 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 6:51 pm
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>A pensioner was caught with child pornography after taking his mobile phone to complain about problems accessing websites -- and speaking the words "nude children" into it.

>Jeremy Evans, prosecuting, told Grimsby Crown Court that Cunningham went in to a Carphone Warehouse store in Scunthorpe on December 23 last year and reported a problem with his mobile phone.

>He said it would not search for or access some websites. He gave a demonstration to a "shocked" customer adviser and spoke the words "nude children" into the phone. He showed the adviser the phone showing that no search results had been returned.

>The member of staff alerted a manager and Cunningham repeated his demonstration of the problem. The phone was seized and the police were told.

>Cunningham was arrested on Boxing Day and four other phones were seized. A total of 261 images of children, including babies and toddlers, were found as well as 29 bestiality images.

http://www.scunthorpetelegraph.co.uk/news/local-news/pensioner-caught-child-porn-phone-904365

I can't even.
>> No. 14182 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 7:06 pm
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>>14181
I struggle to understand how or why he thought this was okay.
>> No. 14183 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 7:20 pm
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>>14182
You know what old people are like, they reach a certain age and then have absolutely no filter over what they say.

It's probably dementia or something. A paedophile with dementia who's forgotten what is and what isn't acceptable.
>> No. 14184 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 7:29 pm
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>>14182
I'm more puzzled by him owning five mobile phones. Did he put them into a pentagram and have them talk dirty to one-another or summit?
>> No. 14185 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 8:30 pm
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>>14184
You've never done the old five phone wank?
>> No. 14186 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 8:47 pm
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>>14185
I mostly stick with having phones from the same family watch.
>> No. 14187 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 8:49 pm
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>>14186
It's English, Jim, but not as we know it.
>> No. 14188 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 9:20 pm
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>>14187
>> No. 14189 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 9:26 pm
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>>14188
What do they have to do with the family watch?
>> No. 14190 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 1:45 am
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>>14183

>You know what old people are like, they reach a certain age and then have absolutely no filter over what they say.


The older I get the more I understand the lack of filter. It is a result of the rules of society changing and not playing along. What is perfectly acceptable at one point is abhorrent at another point and what is abhorrent becomes acceptable, really with no rhyme or reason or basis in reality, and flips back and forth based on the political agenda of the day. In the end you just stop caring how someone judges you because you think they'll probably flip their opinion in a few years.
>> No. 14191 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 6:44 pm
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>>14190
Paedophilia has never been okay at any point. Besides, I'm sure human beings are not like rocks and know how to adapt. Otherwise, we would have to ban anyone over the age of 40 from working anywhere and especially in government.
>> No. 14192 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 6:47 pm
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>>14191
That's not a bad idea.
>> No. 14193 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 9:01 pm
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>>14190

Being 43 now, I have begun in recent years to honestly feel like I am from a different time. I just don't get the younger generation, many of whom less than half my age. It is difficult for me to grasp their view of the world. So much of what they believe seems quite alien to me. All I know is that I've got a feeling that what makes them tick is so fundamentally different from my generation that there is very little that connects us. And more so perhaps than in previous generations.

My age might still be a tad young to fall into that "grumpy old man" mode of not caring what people today think of views that I arrived at for myself some decades ago and which I am astonished to see no longer being considered valid. But this kind of thing is definitely starting around age 40, I think.

I kind of think that much of it arises from the fact that humans originally only had a lifespan in the wild of 40 years. The fact that almost the majority of us, at least in developed countries, live to be more than twice that age wasn't planned by nature. So what you are actually doing between age 40 and your death, at the lowest common denominator, is endlessly bumbling about with your best years behind you. Maybe we have managed to give life after 40 more meaning by having our children later. Or by working until your early 60s. But that still doesn't change the fact that our species wasn't supposed to live long past age 40 in the first place.
>> No. 14194 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 9:08 pm
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>>14193
>planned by nature
Right. Anyway, if it helps, plenty of young people suck at using autocorrect and predictive text too. Maybe stick with a keyboard?
>> No. 14197 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 9:27 pm
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>>14193
> I kind of think that much of it arises from the fact that humans originally only had a lifespan in the wild of 40 years.

Isn't that one of those unfacts?

The average may have been around 40 years, but that was skewed by high infant mortality - so the average for people who made it to adulthood was closer to 70.
>> No. 14199 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 10:09 pm
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Feel like an old man even though I'm a younglad since the world I was taught I'd grow up in was one that had vanished before I could talk.
Mostly blame the fact my school never bothered to replace most of their 1970-era books and family had a lot of hand-me-downs. End result is expecting a world of disjointed prices (i.e. what I now recognize as inflation) full employment, occasionally with some odd chaps called the Soviet Union popping up to annoy everyone, dodgy fashion sense, and the consequence of doing badly in school being that you have to work down a coal mine or in a factory.
Instead we've got a world of stable prices, insecure employment, occasionally some odd eskimo chaps popping up to leave public transport rotting of fish, dodgy fashion sense, and the existence of qualification inflation combined with the disappearance of mines and factories as major sources of employment.

Think that some of the atlases still including the Soviet Union, Zaire and so on was a bit of a piss-take though. Not the ones we used for geography, but ones they kept kicking about anyway for whatever reason. Not that it'd matter, for geography we only did weather and rocks anyway. Don't think the rocks have been revolutionised since the 1980s.
>> No. 14200 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 11:50 pm
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>>14199

>rotting of fish

Oh mods, you've outdone yourself with this one.
>> No. 14201 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 1:03 am
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>>14200
New wordfilters are punchlines with no set-up.
>> No. 14202 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 1:41 am
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>>14191
>Paedophilia has never been okay at any point.
I don't know about that. Around half of Alabama seem to think it's fine.
>> No. 14203 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 1:43 am
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>>14202

Didn't the greeks like shagging 12 year old boys?
>> No. 14204 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 2:07 am
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>>14203
They did, and the notion that it was a way of educating the boys in the ways of the world is now discredited.
>> No. 14205 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 5:01 am
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>>14204

Though, carpet-baggerry not withstanding, there is no better way to align oneself with reality than through a proper thorough buggering. It really boils all the petty accoutrements of the soul down into the very primal philosophy that thus accommodates best the meat prisons we call our bodies.
>> No. 14206 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 2:47 pm
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>>14205

>there is no better way to align oneself with reality than through a proper thorough buggering.

So... you're saying 12-year-old boys should get fucked in the arse because life will inevitably fuck them in the arse at some point anyway? And being fucked in the arse as a weelad prepares you for it?
>> No. 14207 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 2:54 pm
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One person has already had a ban for the pederasty stuff in this thread, tone it down lads.
>> No. 14208 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 3:26 pm
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>>14206
Hence boarding schools and empire, yes.
>> No. 14209 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 3:41 pm
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>>14208

Best to oblige, lad.
>> No. 14211 Anonymous
13th December 2017
Wednesday 7:53 pm
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>>14206

No I was pissed and trying to be grandiose. What I meant was "As long as it's not carpet-baggerry...".
>> No. 14296 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 4:23 pm
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>A woman who rode a motorcycle naked through Woking town centre, had sex with a man in the high street and punched a blind man in the chest has been jailed and her life branded "a mess" by a crown court judge.

>Natasha Claus, 36, was jailed immediately by Judge Peter Ross on Thursday (December 28) after arriving at Guildford Crown Court four hours late for her hearing. She has also been banned from Woking in its entirety when she comes out of prison.

>Claus admitted a string of charges including outraging public decency, which came after she was spotted by a shopper engaging in a sex act with a man.

>The judge also made reference to a further indecent incident, added: “I had the impression there was some reference to her riding around on a motorbike with no clothes on, but that has nothing to do with the charges today."

http://www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/your-life-mess-woman-jailed-14091103

>Prosecutor John Upton said she was spotted in Goldsworth Road, Woking, ‘being fingered by a man’ on July 29 this year. A mother with her two children asked her to stop and Claus responded by threatening to punch her. When she was arrested at the scene, police said her jeans were pulled up, but her knickers were in her handbag.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/28/woman-rode-motorbike-naked-sex-street-punched-blind-man-7188798/
>> No. 14297 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 4:43 pm
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>>14296
You just can't trust the wives of seasonal workers, you leave them alone for one evening to go on a round the world trip and this happens.
>> No. 14298 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 5:02 pm
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>>14296

>A woman who rode a motorcycle naked through Woking town centre, had sex with a man in the high street and punched a blind man in the chest has been jailed and her life branded "a mess" by a crown court judge.

>Natasha Claus, 36,


At age 36, yes, your life is definitely a mess if you do that kind of thing.

It's like waking up drunk on a park bench outside at dawn, after a pub crawl with your mates the night before, and having no idea how you even got there. Funny story to tell if you're 18, but at age 38, it's just sad.

That really actually happened to me when I was 18.
>> No. 14299 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 5:38 pm
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>>14296

I sort of want to go on the lash with her. It'd probably be a harrowing ordeal, but it'd make a great anecdote.
>> No. 14300 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 5:44 pm
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>>14299

Seconded. Being banned from Woking would just be the cherry on the cake.
>> No. 14301 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 6:23 pm
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>>14299>>14300
You'd have to hang about whilst she gets fingered by tramps for money.
>> No. 14302 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 6:36 pm
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>>14301
It's her round anyway
>> No. 14303 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 7:06 pm
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>>14302
I imagine it'll be quite droopy by now, given the amount of crusty fingerbanging it has taken.
>> No. 14304 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 8:58 pm
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I understand paying for sex, or even a handjob, but it seems odd to pay someone so you can finger them.

Or did she pay them? It's hard to tell.
>> No. 14305 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 9:41 pm
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>>14304
I can't imagine paying to be wanked off, but I can't also imagine someone paying me to wank me off.

It's a serious conundrum.
>> No. 14306 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 9:53 pm
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>>14305

I'd pay a minimal amount to be wanked off. It's sometimes slightly better than doing it yourself.

If someone wanted to give me a tenner AND make me jizz, I doubt I'd say no - that's pure profit.

But my girlfriend has been away for three weeks so that might explain my reasoning.
>> No. 14316 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 9:19 pm
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>>14306

>I'd pay a minimal amount to be wanked off. It's sometimes slightly better than doing it yourself.

I was once approached in a park by a middle-aged gay guy who may have been 45ish and who struck up a conversation with me while I was sitting on a bench. He started off with some innocent enough random small talk, but then the conversation quickly turned to the question of whether I had a girlfriend, and when I said no, he very soon offered to give me 20 quid if I was going to let him perform oral sex on me. Really, he wanted to give me money for letting him suck me off. I guess it's true that middle age is even worse for gays. Or he just really had a thing for noshing 20something knob.

Anyway, I declined, probably with some sort of visible disgust on my face. So he said something like , "Darling, you don't have to get in a huff just because a bloke propositioned you!", and got up and walked away with mumbled disappointment.
>> No. 14317 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 9:30 pm
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3x0IqbGdOc
>> No. 14322 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 10:37 pm
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>This morning in Apatity on North Street a truly non-trivial traffic accident happened. A resident of the city stole from the driving school DOSAAF caterpillar lightly armored tractor and went on it to ride around the city. Near the house number 25, unfolding, he failed to manage; The MTLB tore up the Daewoo parked nearby and drove into the Family store.

>Looking over the work of his hands, the hijacker went into the store destroyed by him and stole a bottle of wine there (the sale of alcohol at that time, we will remind, is still forbidden). It was with this very bottle that policemen detained him.

https://www.hibiny.com/news/archive/154995/
>> No. 14323 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 11:07 pm
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>>14322
I wouldn't put it past the Russian judicial system to levy the lightest sentence possible on this man purely because his escapade was so utterly hilarious.
>> No. 14324 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 11:53 pm
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https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/live-councillor-trial-matthew-sephton-14191383

This doesn't fit perfectly with the theme of the thread but why do I get the feeling "Tom" is like Charles from the Shirley Jackson story?
>> No. 14325 Anonymous
25th January 2018
Thursday 7:57 pm
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>>14316

I was once on one of those super shady sex ad sites and this middle aged bloke kept messaging me with propositions of increasing payments in order to suck my knob. He was offering a hundred quid a go at one point.

At least it means I've got a pretty impressive knob, apparently.
>> No. 14326 Anonymous
25th January 2018
Thursday 8:24 pm
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>>14325

Or maybe it's just the exact kind of weird he likes.
>> No. 14327 Anonymous
30th January 2018
Tuesday 5:09 pm
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>A pizza delivery driver was attacked with a claw hammer by a man who came out of a house shouting: "I want my money! I want my smack! I'm a smackhead!"

>Prosecutor Joanne Jenkins told Hull Crown Court the driver turned and walked back down the path, when "all of a sudden a male came up behind him with a claw hammer, screaming at the top of his lungs, 'I want my money! I want my smack! I'm a smackhead!'"

>The driver fled into Enstone Garth and behind a car, but Smalley still pursued him, shouting: "I'm a smackhead! I want my money!" The man, who had a £10 note and some change, threw the £10 on the ground, and managed to get back to his car and escape when Smalley went to pick it up.

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/smackhead-attacks-pizza-delivery-driver-1127898
>> No. 14328 Anonymous
31st January 2018
Wednesday 10:30 am
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>>14327

Fucking hell, a Hull Daily Mail story that isn't about Are Laura Plummer.
>> No. 14329 Anonymous
31st January 2018
Wednesday 6:06 pm
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>>14328
Don't forget Are Melissa.

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/whats-on/look-melissa-ede-recreates-catilyn-1112360
>> No. 14330 Anonymous
31st January 2018
Wednesday 7:32 pm
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>>14329

I suppose the good thing about transitioning as a middle aged woman in Hull is that the bar's so low I didn't even realise she was trans until I checked the article.
>> No. 14331 Anonymous
9th February 2018
Friday 4:48 pm
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Darth Vader helps kickboxer who fired BB gun at children https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/localnews/tq1-tq1/20#pinnedpost_5a7c9aad3282e30675e45d77

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