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|>>|| No. 20878
Cafe's naughty-sounding name shows up on bank statements - but wives are seeing the funny side
A cafe owner says its naughty-sounding name has led to an unexpected rise in business.
The Tea's Me Cafe in Lockwood has seen an increase in couples calling in on Saturdays and, according to its owner, it's all down to the cafe's name showing up on male customers' bank statements. A spokesman for the Albert Street cafe said 'banter levels' had gone through the roof.
"Our name comes up as Teas Me on debit cards, so men have had to bring in their partners to prove to them we are a cafe. We came up with the name after sitting down and having a think. We were going to go for 'Baps to the Future'. We've had a few people in who said their partner thought they had been on a dodgy website or something. The men have been bringing in their partners on a Saturday morning to see it's just a cafe. We've had a lot of good banter."
Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter.
|>>|| No. 20884
Lads, I don't know quite what direction this thread has taken 1300 posts after discussing those shutters, but I've just had a potentially amazing idea.
Traffic lights, right? How often are you driving and you get stopped when the person already crossed? Or how often do you feel a twinge of guilt for pressing the button before realising you can just go now?
How much time do you think would be saved if the traffic button needed to be pressed twice - once to queue a request, and once to activate it? So if there's no one there to press the button a second time, when it's flashing or making a unique beep, then the lights won't change.
I'm not sure what to call it. Possibly 'retarded', but it could surely be a newsworthy idea.
|>>|| No. 20885
>So if there's no one there to press the button a second time, when it's flashing or making a unique beep, then the lights won't change.
So you're saying that we should keep the signals indicating that you should cross now, including the beeping for blind people, but just don't stop the cars?
|>>|| No. 20886
>So you're saying that we should keep the signals indicating that you should cross now, including the beeping for blind people, but just don't stop the cars?
Is that what I said? Fuck. I meant a different toned beep so blind people don't just walk in the road. The lights wouldn't change, neither traffic nor pedestrian, unless there's someone still waiting to cross after the initial press, since there's generally a delay.
|>>|| No. 20887
I get what he's saying, after the first press, at the time the lights would have changed instead a calming woman voice would say "Are you still here? Press again to confirm" and if it was pressed again the lights would change. It's a perfect system.
From the perspective of a motorist, though, watching the lights change as a direct reaction to some cunt stood there pressing the button would probably annoy me far more than them changing themselves while unoccupied by pedestrians.
As I type this though, I realise that I'm pretty sure many crossings already have pedestrian sensing cameras on them, so I'd be pretty fucking surprised if they didn't already simply not change if the crossing no longer has people stood at it.
|>>|| No. 20888
Thanks for being my wordsmith mate.
>watching the lights change as a direct reaction to some cunt stood there pressing the button would probably annoy me far more than them changing themselves while unoccupied by pedestrians.
Fuck, really? I've not driven in 10 years so I don't really know, I assumed it'd be more annoying to have them arbitrarily stop you with nary a punter in sight.
>As I type this though, I realise that I'm pretty sure many crossings already have pedestrian sensing cameras on them, so I'd be pretty fucking surprised if they didn't already simply not change if the crossing no longer has people stood at it.
Good point, though presumably this isn't super widespread, but still somewhat prevalent. Do you know that they would prevent a change occurring if detecting no pedestrian at the lights, or is that a guess? Seems like something that could produce false positives depending on the method, do you know if that system is widespread?
|>>|| No. 20889
>Do you know that they would prevent a change occurring if detecting no pedestrian at the lights, or is that a guess?
It's just a guess, possibly based on fuzzy memories of observing them, but I feel like I haven't been stuck waiting at an empty crossing in a good long while.
Couldn't really tell you an more, but I notice just about every crossing in my particular town has camera/sensor things pointed at the pedestrians.
|>>|| No. 21564
I see years of gay conversion therapy ahead for this poor lad.
The scary thing is, from my experience of spending plenty of time stateside and knowing a few people in the Bible Belt, there are literally MILLIONS of people like that. This is not some sort of satire.
I always say they're like trekkies on acid.
|>>|| No. 24569
It's bizarre how people will nick anything that isn't nailed down. Kleptos or something.
|>>|| No. 24575
It's some artist circle jerking about how they value the current flavour of the week. It's clearly not a community project and the cunt probably got more of the attention they were seeking by having their mate steal it than they would have for the GCSE level art project.
|>>|| No. 24587
>GCSE level art project
I vaguely remember us doing human heads with wire and paper mache in art class in school, around year 10 or something. Absolutely dreadful. Mine sort of looked like Boy George on a bad acid trip.
|>>|| No. 24737
>A bull with an itchy bottom knocked a transformer off an electricity pole as he tried to scratch his backside - and cut power to 800 homes.
>Four-year-old Ron managed to avoid the box as it landed in his field, and escaped an 11,000 volt shock from the tumbling cables. But it left homes in three nearby villages in South Lanarkshire without electricity.
|>>|| No. 24837
I guess that's an excuse as good as any to spend time in your shed at the moment.
|>>|| No. 25005
A couple of highlights from the Hull Daily Mail.
>"There have been plastic bags with not just dog waste - it is human waste. It is too big for a dog. It's horrendous."
>A man who forced a parking ticket into a wardens' mouth and made him eat it after he was given a fine has been jailed.
>In a bizarre set of crimes that took place over two months, Alex Owers, 40, of Kingston Road in Willerby, also drove to a petrol station, licked a protective screen separating him from cashiers, downed a miniature bottle of wine and coughed in a police officer's face.
>On March 29, during the coronavirus lockdown, Owers made his way to a petrol station on Kingston Road in Willerby after he had been drinking. Miss Evans told the court that despite being told several times by staff members that he would not be served after pressing his face against a protective plastic screen, Owers continued to do so and even licked it.
>The prosecutor told the court: "He told them to 'f*** off' and that there were no signs not to touch, but they pointed them out. He started eating a sandwich and drank a bottle of miniature wine. When he was arrested he agreed to pay for those items."
|>>|| No. 25265
Laughed at the 'absolutely buzzing' quote.
That said what is the point of opening McDonald's? Who wants anything other than breakfast which they're not serving. Don't care for McDonald's but do love a sausage and egg mcmuffin.
|>>|| No. 25266
Look at the lads in the picture. A McDonald's meal is a welcome change from the turkey dinosaurs with potato smiles served up on a regular basis by their respective mothers.
|>>|| No. 25267
>That said what is the point of opening McDonald's? Who wants anything other than breakfast
You're right. McDonald's daytime menu is notoriously unpopular.
|>>|| No. 25270
It's a rhetorical question and obviously is used to convey the fact that I personally strongly dislike it, but I suspect you knew that already.
|>>|| No. 25273
I've quite enjoyed reinterpreting the McDonalds breafast menu myself, with proper muffins, nice cheese and an egg that hasn't spent 30 minutes baking in a holding tray.
|>>|| No. 25336
A lorne sausage, egg and cheese muffin is truly next level breakfast, though I don't necessarily agree that nice cheese is the way to go - weird orange american cheese is just exactly what is needed as a melty medium.
|>>|| No. 25451
>waiting patiently in the passenger seat for his £1.29 Coke
McDonalds actually sell a £36.99 premium coke to super rich people that they try and keep secret from us proles.
|>>|| No. 25454
Saw a line that went on for at least a mile the other day to a local McDonalds, some twats even managed to stop in the middle of the traffic lights while queuing. This country's fucked isn't it?
|>>|| No. 25458
One of britain's most endearing qualities, apparently, is our ability and propensity for queuing. Like all those cunts that queued around the car park in Aldi for a free bottle of £3 prosecco that one time.
I don't get it, I've certainly sat in my car in a maccys for ten or fifteen minutes if I've properly fancied a big mac, but if the queue needs a bloke in a hi viz directing everyone, I think I'll not bother.
I assume they're not open 24 hours yet? The best time to get anything there has always been about 2am.
|>>|| No. 25459
>This country's fucked isn't it?
There's a lot of unimaginative people in this country. Plenty of people I went to school with have little aspiration beyond living on a new build estate with a hot tub in their garden.
|>>|| No. 25471
The chingchongs are in Africa mining minerals using exploited black man labour, commie cunts make your computer so that you can type
|>>|| No. 25472
a) That doesn't disprove the assertion.
b) The Communist bit in Communist China is a bit like how America is the "land of the free".
|>>|| No. 25632
There are more billionaires in China’s legislature than exist in the United Kingdom. You may want to interrogate your definition of a “commie cunt”.
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