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>> No. 407470 Anonymous
22nd December 2016
Thursday 7:18 pm
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LADS WHAT THE FUCK DO I GET MY MOTHER FOR CHRISTMAS??
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>> No. 407489 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 10:58 am
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>>407488
Because... White people decreed it so...
>> No. 407490 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 11:07 am
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Fuck sake, so I'm feeling like a bit of a twat - my sister asked me if I can get my dad a £50 gift voucher, one of those "all for one" thingies, but I'm a bit conflicted.

Isn't a gift voucher just a very, very shitty form of money? One that you are only limited to using in a select group of shops? I'm considering giving him the £50 - but I'm worried that he'll just spend it on something shite.
>> No. 407491 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 11:18 am
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>>407490
Give him £50 and make him sign a binding contract with a list of acceptable places he can spend the money gifted to him by his twat of a son. If he breaks the contract, you must then murder him and his family (yourself).
>> No. 407493 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 11:58 am
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A three day fuck fest with a coloured gentleman and a trip to marie stopes.
>> No. 407504 Anonymous
24th December 2016
Saturday 9:35 am
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>>407475
Just read the tutorials online, it's idiot proof

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>> No. 407344 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 3:36 am
407344 Oi, m8!
Oi, u lookin at me byrd, innit?
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>> No. 407353 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 5:23 pm
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>>407352

Why isn't your mum in IQ?
>> No. 407355 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 6:05 pm
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>>407353
Your mums too fat to fit in IQ.
>> No. 407359 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 10:34 pm
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>>407355

Mirth.
>> No. 407364 Anonymous
14th December 2016
Wednesday 4:46 am
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>>407355
Your mums ARE too fat to fit in IQ.
>> No. 407494 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 11:59 am
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shes a slag and your a little cunt,fuck off before i do ya you little prick.

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>> No. 407104 Anonymous
1st December 2016
Thursday 6:57 am
407104 KWISSMUSS
Let's talk about it in the present tense because soon you'll open your presents.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ue3T0IZXQ

I think, for the first year ever, it's the start of December and I've already bought all the gifts I need to.
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>> No. 407400 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 2:15 am
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Well that's the family's presents sorted. Should arrive tomorrow.

I got my parents an amazon echo. I do know that the main thing they may want to do with it is change the temperature. I know they have a smart thermostat when they got the boiler done a few years back. I realise that particular themostat is likely to be old and incompatible with the echo. It's probably one of the first ones around. I have no clue how smart thermostats work and wouldn't know if replacing the thermostat is simply buying a new one and you're away or you have to piss about with the boiler.
>> No. 407401 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 3:10 am
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The pornstar I was knocking about with for a while recently had a huge amount of shit that she didn't pay for from her Amazon Wishlist. One of her fans even paid for a trip to LA for her so she could catch up with some friends. I feel like we could have gotten a fan to pay for our dinner rather than me doing it.
>> No. 407402 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 6:04 am
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>>407401

Well, I've managed a load of beautiful and cheap jewelry for the women in my life, a couple of books for mates who read, and arranging a cracking xmas do for the rest, and someehow managing to get an xmas present posted to and recieved by some fucking knobhead on this site before fucking January.

I've done pretty well by my standards. Oh, and said knobhead owes me a night with a Thai bargirl as well. Life is like a sewer...
>> No. 407403 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 7:14 am
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>>407402
>someehow managing to get an xmas present posted to and recieved by some fucking knobhead on this site before fucking January.

Posting boxes of turds to purple again? You know he'll catch you eventually.
>> No. 407487 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 9:47 am
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Maybe it's because I'm reading too much Grauniad, but is it abnormal to actually enjoy spending time with your family at Christmas? I have no issue with driving for an hour on Boxing Day to spend the day with my parents, eating shitloads of food, getting mothered and eventually falling asleep in a drunken stupor whilst there's some right bollocks on the telly.

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>> No. 407426 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 9:18 am
407426 2016
Morning, lads.

Let's say I live in a cultural vacuum. What have I missed this year in terms of music, books, film and television? I trust you lot because if it wasn't for you lads I wouldn't have watched Sightseers and I've picked up the odd musical recommendation and book to read over the years, too.

Thanks, lads.
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>> No. 407439 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 7:08 pm
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>>407438
So militant daft woggery is karma now I guess.
>> No. 407440 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 7:27 pm
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>>407439
Go home Vladimir, you're drunk.
>> No. 407445 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 10:09 pm
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>>407440
Sorry, I meant to say we should murder Russians wherever we find them? Was that the correct answer?
>> No. 407446 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 10:14 pm
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>>407445
You should try harder. Better luck next time.
>> No. 407447 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 1:08 pm
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>>407430

> And as a last literary recommendation, if you haven't read Zero Zero Zero yet

Cheers, lad. That's my Christmas week reading sorted out.

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>> No. 407429 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 10:21 am
407429 wonono
The fuck is this? I was trying to download the 'wololo' clip from Age of Empires and found this. Apparently a small portion of people hear this clip as something that sounds like 'neeneenee' (I did), whilst everyone else hears 'wololo'. Something to do with compression rates. What do you guys hear?

https://www.reddit.com/r/linguistics/comments/2irn6a/could_you_wise_folks_shed_some_light_on_this_some/
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>> No. 407432 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 11:45 am
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Sounds like wololo to me.

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>> No. 405770 Anonymous
16th October 2016
Sunday 9:41 pm
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Weekend thread? Weekend thread.

What have you lads been up to? I'm watching the Crystal Maze special on Channel Four, it's a bit shit.
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>> No. 407404 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 4:41 pm
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Just had a sizeable fishbone in my fish fillet. It's frozen Alaskan pollack from Lidl. I guess you get what you pay for.
>> No. 407405 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 4:53 pm
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I adopted a cat today. I think we're both quite pleased with the situation.
>> No. 407406 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 7:13 pm
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>>407405

You will find that cats have a uniquely condescending way towards their owners. Once they've settled in.
>> No. 407407 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 9:45 pm
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>>407406
>>407405

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.” - Christopher Hitchens
>> No. 407408 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 11:50 pm
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>>407407

Or more succinctly (although I enjoyed reading your quote):

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

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>> No. 407286 Anonymous
9th December 2016
Friday 3:57 am
407286 My Spotted Heroin Hell
http://www.salon.com/2013/01/05/my_year_of_heroin_and_acne/

Totes relating to this right now. I often get such bad outbreaks I just want to die, like literally though guys. But imagine being an ALIEN and not wanting the humans to spot your blue skin, let alone having both an outbreak of acne and a heroin habit AT

THE SAME

TIME!

>My acne had taken over any joy in my life at that point and I was having opiate withdrawal, so I’d go to the nail salon in the middle of the day when it was quiet and I could avoid seeing humans.


I heard that Haywood Jablowme had a heroin addictionette for 3 months last year, and he actually got actual split ends. Like, just omg that's social suicide. Not real suicide that's for poor people.

>I hated myself. I actually hated myself. I never got manicures. They would be too much work, sitting upright and making small talk. Plus, I bite my fingernails down too low for them to be manicured. A disgusting addiction, but in comparison to my other addictions, I let it slide.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>> No. 407287 Anonymous
9th December 2016
Friday 10:31 am
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>snorted

Is there anything the Yanks don't do wrong?
>> No. 407288 Anonymous
9th December 2016
Friday 2:14 pm
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I mean, yes it's a pretty daft reason to develop a smack habit, but no more so than any other reason.
>> No. 407300 Anonymous
10th December 2016
Saturday 9:45 pm
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>>407286

Like I give ein fok you untermensch
>> No. 407309 Anonymous
11th December 2016
Sunday 8:48 am
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>>407288

I see what you're saying, that there's no good reason in the sense that you shouldn't develop a smack habit at all. But come on now, think about it for a moment and where heroin use is most concentrated. Despite increasing use, it's still not middle class white girls stressed out by acne.

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>> No. 407025 Anonymous
26th November 2016
Saturday 8:32 am
407025 RIP Sweet Prince

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>> No. 407251 Anonymous
7th December 2016
Wednesday 1:52 pm
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>>407248

>But the expensive ones are all rigid and starchy and at worst, polyester.

Not all of them. I've got a Nike track suit which was 100 quid, which is arguably in the upper price range for track suits. It's polyester; you will find that track suits are rarely made of other materials, unless they're actually sweat suits. But it's very comfortable, because it's kind of a soft and light polyester.

>I mean, when did tracksuits become a thing? Surely any pensioner was well into their thirties when the fashion propagated. So they have made the choice to start wearing the fashionable yooth clothes at middle age?

Look at many 50-year-olds today, and you will find that some of them wear the same kind of fashion as 25-year-olds. Brand name printed sweaters or T-shirts, jeans, denim or leather jackets, maybe even a hoodie underneath. And why not. I think it's refreshing that middle aged people nowadays don't wear tweed coats, horn rimmed spectacles and Fedora hats anymore. It doesn't necessarily mean you're clinging to your lost youth. Times have moved on. Yesterday's youth rebels are today's middle aged adults. The same way that you now have septuagenarians who have been lifelong fans of The Who, or people in their early 60s who used to be punks in the mid to late 1970s. They didn't suddenly forget about all that just because they crossed the middle age threshold.
>> No. 407252 Anonymous
7th December 2016
Wednesday 2:28 pm
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>>407251
>I think it's refreshing that middle aged people nowadays don't wear tweed coats
Yes, I look forwards to the future in which OAPs will listen to grime and merk one another up.
>> No. 407253 Anonymous
7th December 2016
Wednesday 2:41 pm
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>>407252

It's disturbing to think that someday, there will be septuagenarians in old people's homes whose greatest joy during a dull day will be listening to old Justin Bieber songs and reminiscing about the days when they were 14 and first realised that it was giving them a tingle down below.

One of my dad's best friends was actually a full-on punk in the late 70s. Dyed mohawk, leather jacket, earrings, tattoos, the works. He has mellowed out a bit, after all he is now in his 60s, and he actually has a family and had somewhat of a career. But if you spend enough time with him, you will realise that he's still a punk at heart. He also still enjoys listening to the old punk bands from back in the day. Among his favourites are Stiff Little Fingers and The Clash.
>> No. 407254 Anonymous
7th December 2016
Wednesday 4:06 pm
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>>407253

Obligatory:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bvz0iLY3Nlw
>> No. 407255 Anonymous
7th December 2016
Wednesday 4:35 pm
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>>407254

>MINGIN
>laundry basket

Mirth.

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>> No. 404983 Anonymous
3rd September 2016
Saturday 6:57 pm
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WHERE IS EVERYONE?

DID YOU ALL GO OFF AND DIE WITHOUT TELLING ME? THAT'S VERY SELFISH, YOU KNOW.


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>> No. 407233 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 10:41 pm
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>>407230
I've had plenty of bans in this place for petty reasons that were 'only just comedy bans and totally were for only a second' whilst they were quickly quitely removed. If I didn't know this place and I hadn't been the sort of person to call bullshit I could see a week long ban for posting the 'wrong sort of image' on an image board, or 'phrasing something in a manor acceptable everywhere on the internet but here' or using a rhetorical device that somehow offeneded a mod as being a reason not to bother comming back here.
>> No. 407236 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 7:56 am
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>>407232
You're clearly an idiot though.
>> No. 407239 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 2:35 pm
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>>407230
What I think is happening is that I'm getting mixed messages. I said comedy bans are often for periods like a whole day. Someone said that was the point, and now you're saying they are usually set to 1 second. I can't be contradicting both of you at once.
>> No. 407241 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 4:19 pm
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>>407232

>manor

No.
>> No. 407244 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 5:37 pm
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>>407241
Reading his post made me so angry, but my keyboard was not working.

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>> No. 407150 Anonymous
3rd December 2016
Saturday 7:58 pm
407150 Goodbye EU, you have failed and your time is over. Locked
Nice knowing 'EU', but you've been rumbled.
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>> No. 407164 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 12:21 am
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Wake up everybody, the EU is about to get totally kicked up the arse and told to do one. Party time.
>> No. 407171 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 2:46 am
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Is this about Italy?
>> No. 407172 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 2:53 am
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>>407171

No it's about the killing of the EU

you nob
>> No. 407174 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 3:32 am
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I reckon the EU will be in the shitbin where it belongs by about Monday morning.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 407176 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 6:41 am
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>>407174
Horrific samefagging in this thread.

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>> No. 407038 Anonymous
26th November 2016
Saturday 5:07 pm
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About the new pornage ban.

I've got some porn tutorial videos that show how to make a woman squirt and some others that show BDSM.

Will it be illegal to possess these or will it just be illegal to host or view them on the UK internet?
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>> No. 407163 Anonymous
3rd December 2016
Saturday 11:55 pm
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Black lives matter.

Unless you're black in a black country where kidnap, slavery and rape matters most. Amongst blacks.
>> No. 407165 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 12:36 am
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>a black man doing something silly

You ever see that goal missed by the centre forward in the Mandela football team?

Neither did I but we burned him with tyres because he was Inkatha

Black lives matter
>> No. 407166 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 12:53 am
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>>407163
>>407165
Didn't take much to bring out the actual racists.
>> No. 407167 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 1:10 am
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>>407166

Kill whitey

Black lives matter

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 407178 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 6:47 am
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>>407167
Just fuck off.

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>> No. 406287 Anonymous
1st November 2016
Tuesday 10:21 pm
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Remember your poppy lads. If you don't you are worse than a lovechild of Stalin and Hitler.

But seriously, I hate this poppy thing. You are vilified for mot wearing one, but surely that goes against this vague notion that ARE LADS died to protect free speech?
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>> No. 406469 Anonymous
5th November 2016
Saturday 6:38 pm
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>>406455
When that happens you have to pin a soldier to your jacket in remembrance of the fallen poppy. It's a vicious cycle.
>> No. 406641 Anonymous
12th November 2016
Saturday 10:23 pm
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Snapper with his magic floaty strangling hands
>> No. 406654 Anonymous
13th November 2016
Sunday 12:52 pm
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>>406287
no
>> No. 406665 Anonymous
13th November 2016
Sunday 3:43 pm
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>>406641
Looks a bit like that guy who used to dress up as Doctor Who.
>> No. 407091 Anonymous
29th November 2016
Tuesday 10:22 pm
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>>406287
Poland remember my english chap :3

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>> No. 406998 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 12:30 am
406998 Jeremy Corbyn's secret internet
As seen on GMG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZESdMIaa6Sg
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>> No. 407016 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 9:12 am
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>>407014
This is just bait to encourage people to post more about her, surely.
>> No. 407017 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 9:22 am
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>>407014

Lad.
>> No. 407021 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 2:44 pm
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>>407016
I think thats the point it is the old 'don't think of elephants'. She doesn't post here, and even if she did. No one should give a shit about it or her. She's just a painfully insecure posh girl with no life experiance who farms her own nose and once self declared herself Grand Poobah on the subject of mens needs. If no one ever speaks of her again I will be blissfully happy.
>> No. 407023 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 3:13 pm
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I really want to have sex with Liz Kendall.
>> No. 407024 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 6:11 pm
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>>407023

Pffft, Stella Creasy is genuinely beautiful. I can't believe she's 40.

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>> No. 406951 Anonymous
23rd November 2016
Wednesday 12:38 am
406951 fire up the outrage bus lads

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK9p7DZcEqk

A Heinz TV advert teaching viewers how to use cans of its baked beans to drum out a song has been banned for being dangerous for children to copy.

The commercial, which used the strapline “Learn the #CanSong, featured children, teenagers and adults using Heinz Beanz tins to drum out the rhythm of song.

Nine viewers lodged complaints with the Advertising Standards Authority that the advert encouraged “unsafe practice”, with six believing that it could be dangerous for children to emulate.


Broken Britain.

How can nine small minded idiots get an advert banned?
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>> No. 406988 Anonymous
24th November 2016
Thursday 12:43 pm
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>>406981
>Adverts where they have a ukulele tune

This shit is fucking nauseating, to the point I need to open a window and take a deep breath of fresh air.
>> No. 406989 Anonymous
24th November 2016
Thursday 6:09 pm
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>>406981

Are you telling me you don't have your ladm8s for a few tins of beans and a couple of games of FIFA in the evenings? I think you're lying.
>> No. 406990 Anonymous
24th November 2016
Thursday 6:38 pm
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>>406972
What if they ran a campaign where they tried to get people to "join in" with suicide bombing their head office? I could get on board with that, assuming I could find a suitable surrogate to actually carry the bomb.
>> No. 406993 Anonymous
24th November 2016
Thursday 9:02 pm
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>>406989

>Alright, mate. Wanna' play the new FIFA round mine? I've got a few tins in too.
>Yeah, of course I meant beans, what were you thinking of?
>> No. 407010 Anonymous
25th November 2016
Friday 4:13 am
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I am 9 and I said fucking beans cunt bastard fuckers in my playground when I saw it was on telly.

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