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>> No. 404155 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 5:48 am
404155 early morning gs
Why are you up at this hour?
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>> No. 404916 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 11:51 pm
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When I'm really down and start thinking about killing myself, I slowly start feeling like a load has been lifted off my shoulders. The fact that I can kill myself and just escape everything gives me a bit of hope. Light at the end of the tunnel.
>> No. 404917 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 11:58 pm
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>>404916
Wanting to kill yourself makes you not want to kill yourself? That's mind-boggling.
>> No. 404918 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 12:08 am
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>>404917
The knowledge that you can clock out at any moment helps you be less stressed about life in general. It's not so strange.
>> No. 405120 Anonymous
10th September 2016
Saturday 6:42 am
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My eye feel like they are going to fucking bleed why am I not in bed why
>> No. 405158 Anonymous
12th September 2016
Monday 12:05 am
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>Why are you up at this hour?

I've got a presentation at work tomorrow and I am sitting here ironing out the last few niggles. We're in the finishing stages of a major project, and tomorrow is crucial. My boss will be there and one or two people from higher up the chain. If things go well, it could mean that I will eventually get promoted and will get to take on even bigger projects.

Still need to throw out a few typos though, and double check a few charts and figures. One of my coworkers made some last-minute contributions this weekend, and what he e-mailed me was a right fucking mess.

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>> No. 405000 Anonymous
3rd September 2016
Saturday 11:55 pm
405000 Drinking lads
I thought that It would be best to start a drinking thread. Because I've been drinking and there's no better brilliant idea conceived than one through booze.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHOHi5ueo0A
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>> No. 405124 Anonymous
10th September 2016
Saturday 4:56 pm
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>>405122

/A/ is that way mate.
>> No. 405125 Anonymous
10th September 2016
Saturday 6:15 pm
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>>405006
Why? Did you not go to uni?
>> No. 405138 Anonymous
11th September 2016
Sunday 12:02 am
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OP here, here's to beers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHOHi5ueo0A
>> No. 405139 Anonymous
11th September 2016
Sunday 1:27 am
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>>405125
I did. I'm not a person who enjoys most things the average uni student would enjoy.
>> No. 405142 Anonymous
11th September 2016
Sunday 1:36 am
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Just got home from a wedding.

It was atrocious. Stifling atmosphere, dull bridal couple, poor choice of musical entertainment. And I was placed at a table with two somewhat unsightly perennially single women with repulsive senses of old spinster humour.

I excused myself at around 1am saying I had a serious headache. And now I am sitting in front of the TV in trackies, watching "9/11 - The Falling Man" and having a few bottles of Stella.

Should've been doing this the whole evening.

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>> No. 404457 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 10:36 pm
404457 ATTENTION IMMIGRANTS
If you want to discuss krautchan being down or the fact that you're foreign or whatever else it is you lot talk about, do it on >>/zoo/, which is our /int/ board.

You're welcome to post on our other boards but please have the good grace not to draw attention to the fact that you're not British unless it's actually relevant.
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>> No. 405108 Anonymous
8th September 2016
Thursday 4:28 pm
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>>405106

>cozza da timez yo' got teafed.

Lad. Have a word with yourself.

You just got schooled, homeboy.
>> No. 405111 Anonymous
8th September 2016
Thursday 5:18 pm
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>>405108


I got skooled on da streetz, blud. Only t'ing dey taught yo' at Westminster (heh) was how to fluff, innit blud.
>> No. 405113 Anonymous
8th September 2016
Thursday 5:34 pm
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>>405111


you'z da shit, bruv.
>> No. 405115 Anonymous
8th September 2016
Thursday 10:37 pm
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Didn't think it would be long before African-American ghetto slang would start being confused with British Caribbean inner city slang.
>> No. 405116 Anonymous
9th September 2016
Friday 1:21 am
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>>405106

"Being ghetto" isn't something that is aspired to where I come from.

It's more what happens to you when you slide down the social ladder.

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>> No. 404900 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 1:46 pm
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Are Irish people allowed to speak in RP in the UK, or is this seen as pretentious of them?
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>> No. 405060 Anonymous
5th September 2016
Monday 11:30 pm
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>>405043
100% agreed on Gervais (truly pitiful stand up) and the yawnsome Kay (didn't even like his ensemble work, unlike Gervais - The Office and Extras were phenomenal). Don't mind McIntyre or Millican, not really my thing.

But really, fuck Jimmy Carr that 'phenomenal technician' who is 'widely respected' hard with no lube.What's with the cunt's photoshopped or Botoxed face even - is he some kind of alien come to replace are comedians with this anti-humour?
>> No. 405062 Anonymous
5th September 2016
Monday 11:36 pm
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Speaking of comedians, George Carlin's new special premieres tonight.
>> No. 405064 Anonymous
5th September 2016
Monday 11:53 pm
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>>405060
>What's with the cunt's photoshopped or Botoxed face even - is he some kind of alien come to replace are comedians with this anti-humour?

Careful lad he might come out with the 'if you want my comeback you'll have to lick your mums teeth' line. Again.
>> No. 405075 Anonymous
6th September 2016
Tuesday 2:16 pm
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>>405062

Que?
>> No. 405085 Anonymous
7th September 2016
Wednesday 1:36 am
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It's seen as pretentious of anyone, Irish or no.

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>> No. 404919 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 12:25 am
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Apparently Gene Wilder was still alive. Frankly I was surprised.
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>> No. 404957 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 3:12 pm
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>>404955
Nobody in this thread is behaving as toy describe.
>> No. 404959 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 6:37 pm
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>>404956
She became the Loo,
for many skins of poo.
Tabloids said: It's TRUE!
Queen Mum picked up the telly,
said: 'You know what to do.'
>> No. 405028 Anonymous
4th September 2016
Sunday 10:05 pm
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>>404955

The late Joan Rivers commented on this once.

She said that somehow, when people die of (very) old age, you hear it said a lot that they died "suddenly". So she said, "what do they mean, suddenly... it was about time!!"
>> No. 405029 Anonymous
4th September 2016
Sunday 11:12 pm
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>>405028
Maybe, but maybe not in her case.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et38_Ufv-Jw
>> No. 405039 Anonymous
5th September 2016
Monday 9:30 am
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>>405029

>They [the Palestinians] started it. We now don't count who's dead. You're dead. You deserve to be dead. You started it. You started it. Don't you dare make me feel sad about that...
>They [Hamas] were re-elected by a lot of stupid people who don’t even own a pencil

It was well overdue.

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>> No. 404910 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 7:11 pm
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Anyone know of a cheapish hotel close to a tube station around ~6 mile radius from Euston?

I've been looking on TripAdvisor with varying degrees of disappointment. Budget is £60-70. Looking to stay for a night.
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>> No. 404933 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 11:04 am
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>>404932
https://www.gov.uk/search-house-prices
>> No. 404935 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 12:15 pm
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>>404931

>Care to expand on this?

Some hostels are full of rowdy Aussies and Saffers on a round-the-clock pissup. The Palmers Lodge hostels don't really attract that crowd.

Halls of residence are often decent budget options over the summer break, but check the reviews as they're often quite bleak and shabby.
>> No. 404943 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 9:10 pm
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>>404935
Tripadvisor says mixed things about Palmer's lodge.

Some said it was a frat house full of teenagers. Others said it was fine. Think I'll go with LSE, chatted with a bloke and he said it's reasonably quiet this time of year.
>> No. 404977 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 10:38 pm
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airbnb?
>> No. 405002 Anonymous
4th September 2016
Sunday 12:14 am
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I''m an axe murderer that has been killing people in tje London area for the past 20 years. It's kind of hard finding a nice dark wood to go all choppy choppy diggy diggy but most of them go by looking at their phones.

Flat to let, 50 quid a week.

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>> No. 404936 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 12:56 pm
404936 Carnival and other overhyped tosh.
My newsfeed has been infiltrated by awful things, like the attache image, which sent me on a trip down memory lane, which ended with conclusion that most "big" events are not as good as we imagine them to be, and often they are not good at all.

Am I just a grumpy old man?
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>> No. 404952 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 11:16 pm
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I'm with you OP. Carnivals a fucking dull and annoying. I got tricked into going to Notting Hill carnival once. What a waste of fucking time. It's drums and people doing fucking raindances in big costumes. I don't understand how this is meant to entertain in the midern day
>> No. 404953 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 11:17 pm
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>>404952

*modern

Typing on my phone lads.
>> No. 404954 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 12:10 am
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>>404952

You're supposed to drink eight cans of warm Red Stripe, eat some unidentifiable meat fragments covered in jerk sauce and piss in a wheelie bin. It's no wonder you didn't enjoy it, you missed the whole experience.
>> No. 404958 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 5:19 pm
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>>404952
Doing it all wrong lad. As >>404954 alludes to you need to find a decent soundsystem (one that's not ridiculously rammed), gather there with a bunch of mates and then proceed to get absolutely shitface battered and dance about like a twat.
>> No. 404976 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 7:00 pm
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>>404958
I've only been to carnival once, I found the Sancho Panza sound system, took a bunch of E and did exactly as you describe. It was great.

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>> No. 404974 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 7:42 am
404974 Anyone ever just decide, fuck everything, i'm going mid-week raving?
Imagine if you just decided that, yeah my thing, from now is doing big things, at big times - cos I’m a
BIG
GUY

Guys I feel like, metal singing about how so minging I am or something because I’ve just been visiting one of those ones ;) Yeap, you know those things where EVERYTHING is happening! Loads of people writhing all inside one big thing, like fear and loathing, loads of singing, just crazy, completely marmite-level barmy happenings! But the thing is that after a few hours being in, just standing, it was too nerve-wracking to join in with the real hardcore guys participating, and you'll be spotting these guys as soon as you get in, just from how they're sweating and their colourful leggings. But I just not in the perfect frame of mind, not quite at arriving just yet. So, I was tensing up, and I did something, and next thing - but probably not anything to do with what I did
absolutely nothing was doing anything any more nah so what actualy happend right was so this guy approached and was seething, doing some shouting about things and breathing down my neck asking about things that just happened and that maybe if i hadn’t done something then nothing would have happened, but i didn’t do nothing... and something DID happen!!! so if he’s not lying he’s topping my list of being shit at interrogating - clearly the opposite happened to what he thought. and then he asked me to buy some fucking ringding tryin for a cheap grin. from 2000 and something. Of course I accepted his, offer, but when he said ‘ringding’ I assumed it was a regional euphemism for his ‘bellend’, because of the ringing, they’re associated. they’re similar, can you see the link? do you see it? there’s a connection there but I understood what he meant immediately, it’s probably why everyone thinks I’m such a clever guy. do - it’s tricky carving someones pinktip with a stanley and an iron for straightening, but he was tied up and at this industrial estate by this point anyway, so some quick thinking on my one good and one prosthetic feet and I was taking the bobble out of his queer haircut, tied it round his shit, waited til I was pretty certain and he was
complaining about something, so after parking I was careful in how I was going to be lifting the guy into the boot of my car, slammed the boot shut as hard as I could, actually ended up causing some bruising, and then just continued off driving! until, of course, the morning.. Poor gathering though, nothing was the same after that bullshitting there though and, now because of the severity of this incident that apparently is still lasting, and someones done... something I don't know how at all. to their thingies and won't ever be able to do anything that they do for you, usually. They were scattered on the tiling, all over the floor, one by the heating, mostly close to the parts that began collapsing. That fellow told me once he’s the only remaining person creating that thing with the glazing, where they tickle and weave just loads of these things stringing into one big shapely thing that you end up eating. sounds like some disgusting vegetarian eating. btw I am actually producing as a musician, the scene is always a bit exclusive tho init so gotta do your promoting, even if it is opportunism - you know what they say after all - you've gotta spend money to kill women cos they didnt understand what you acvtually meant hahaha

anyways laters guys safe had a great night keep it quiet tho the raves a secret






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>> No. 404975 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 8:12 am
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I think you might have taken a dab of whizz too many there mate.

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>> No. 402260 Anonymous
3rd June 2016
Friday 11:27 am
402260 Weekend thread.
Got anything planned? Going away?

Tonight I'm having a quiet one in with pizza, wine, weed and an escort. I'm in my 40s and divorced.
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>> No. 404567 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:30 pm
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I took a shit on a plate to see how it would look.
>> No. 404568 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:31 pm
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>>404567
You couldn't just look at it in the bog?
>> No. 404570 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:45 pm
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>>404568
I wanted to see how it would look on a plate.
>> No. 404580 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 2:34 am
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>>404550
Is that verbatim or are you just imagining how she interpreted it?
>> No. 404930 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 8:20 am
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>>404179
I saw an advert for it on the side of a bus and thought it was about a gay couple trying to plan when to have their wedding.

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>> No. 404643 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:50 pm
404643 The .gs time capsule.
Heres an idea lads. Post any .gs related content from the last few years so we can asemble a time capsule of sorts. I've chosen a classic to start us off.
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>> No. 404802 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 11:47 am
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>>404726
The other ARE SI.
>> No. 404815 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 1:19 am
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We already have a time capsule thread >>/shed/12259
>> No. 404825 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 6:57 pm
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>>404815

We have threads which regularly appear on /*/ that are older than our time capsule thread.

We might have to accept that .gs itself is the time capsule.
>> No. 404832 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 7:30 pm
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AMBULANCELAD

LEST_WE_FORGET
>> No. 404892 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 10:52 am
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>>404799

You say that as though your office doesn't primarily talk about those topics. Where do you work?

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>> No. 404503 Anonymous
14th August 2016
Sunday 12:29 am
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Some midget from TV died today, as did 157499 other people. RIP in pease
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>> No. 404508 Anonymous
14th August 2016
Sunday 1:19 pm
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>>404506

And any drunken cunt can shout the words to bohemian rhapsody, but that does not make them the next Freddie Mercury.
>> No. 404509 Anonymous
14th August 2016
Sunday 1:50 pm
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>>404508
To be fair, there's a world of difference between cracking out a passable BoRhap and what was basically sitting in a tin can and fiddling with the lid every now and then.
>> No. 404510 Anonymous
14th August 2016
Sunday 2:23 pm
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>>404509
You're right of course, I'd love to defend his performance as unique and multifaceted, simply on the principle that all art is unique and multifaceted, but it is as you describe and no audience is able to tell the difference between the actor in costume and a puppet.
>> No. 404511 Anonymous
14th August 2016
Sunday 2:37 pm
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>>404510
This. Not everyone can do Freddie justice, but R2D2 could convincingly be portrayed by any volunteer at an Olympic opening ceremony.
>> No. 404891 Anonymous
29th August 2016
Monday 10:48 am
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I was astonished to find out they stuck a little person in that thing. I always thought it was remote-control.

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>> No. 404623 Anonymous
21st August 2016
Sunday 3:51 pm
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Someone kindly posted a lost item to me around a week ago. I think it was 2nd class. It's still not arrived yet.

Estimates say it should have been here by now, now I'm not sure what to do. It's not a valuable item per say, but it does contain several months worth of notes.

What's the longest you lads have been waiting around for the Royal Mail? What can I do if it doesn't arrive?
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>> No. 404640 Anonymous
21st August 2016
Sunday 10:29 pm
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>>404639
It was certainly the case last time I had an item I was expecting to receive go missing. IIRC they'll also want proof of posting, which means if it went into a roadside postbox then they're SOL.
>> No. 404641 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 5:19 pm
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I used to do some Western Union transfers a few years ago. I got a letter last winter saying one of the transfers was never collected and I should contact them to retrieve it. I instantly thought it was a scam but I looked into it and all the details they gave in the letter, and it checked out, so I called them and sent the details they wanted in February some time. Four months later they sent a reply email saying they needed something else, which I sent. I still haven't heard anything yet. Lazy fucks.
>> No. 404824 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 6:54 pm
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Good news, Big Steve delivered it to me personally the cunts at the Royal Mail decided that whatever the good Samaritan paid at the other end wasn't enough and were holding onto it for a ransom of £1.50. A short trip to their depot with some change and I've got a good chunk of my recorded life back.

The moral is not everyone is a cunt.
>> No. 404833 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 7:41 pm
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Never mind waiting for Royal Mail, they tend to deliver as expected and are helpful.

Fucking Yodel and DPD though, they should just rename to Bermuda Triangle.
>> No. 404868 Anonymous
28th August 2016
Sunday 5:08 am
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All this over a lost fitbit...Christ this place has gone downhill

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>> No. 404843 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 1:33 am
404843 Is this intended or not?
Travel insurance with a big tick?

Did they do this on purpose to be BRILLIANT? I mean, it IS a big tick. The music has a 1970s blue movie vibe. But when you break it down, if that really is what they're suggesting, then what are they saying? That a man might expose himself to you poolside whilst you're on holiday, so you should take out insurance for any emotional trauma or diseases you might experience as a result?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRq9-RJnObc
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>> No. 404844 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 1:52 am
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>>404843
>if that really is what they're suggesting, then what are they saying?
They're saying they're all 17 years old and think they're clever.
>> No. 404853 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 1:56 pm
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'A big tick' is synonymous with 'blue movie'?
>> No. 404854 Anonymous
27th August 2016
Saturday 2:43 pm
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That reminds me, I keep seeing bus adverts on my way to work about the film 'Sausage Party'. They're digital screens now, so I'm treated to the same fifteen second animation of the phallic main character becoming engorged with the tag, 'A HERO WILL RISE'.

I suppose this is the extreme we've been working towards. Ever more efficient monetisation of nob gags.

I think I may have to start researching secluded places to live again.
>> No. 404875 Anonymous
28th August 2016
Sunday 9:32 pm
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>I think I may have to start researching secluded places to live again.

May I suggest...

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>> No. 404746 Anonymous
23rd August 2016
Tuesday 10:58 pm
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If you were a farmer how easy would it be to kill someone and hide the body without it ever being found? There'd be an awful lot of private land to dispose it on.
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>> No. 404820 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 5:17 pm
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>>404817
Even spunk?
>> No. 404821 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 5:43 pm
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>>404820

They're omnivorous, they get protein when and where they can.
>> No. 404823 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 6:49 pm
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>>404821

Do me a favour, could you delete your post, rename the JPEG, and post again?

Only because I think 'post-coital glow' would be much funnier. Thanks.
>> No. 404826 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 7:01 pm
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>>404823

Oh, Dave.
>> No. 404829 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 7:19 pm
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I guess this thing would leave DNA traces but it would be great to chuck someone like Anjem Choudary into whilst he advocates your buying 12 bottles of bleach please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv_a9AUWpjo

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