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>> No. 407958 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:37 am
407958 Congratulations
You are very special, .GS
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>> No. 407959 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:45 am
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MY MUM SAYS I'M A SPECIAL BOY.
>> No. 407962 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:22 pm
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>>407959

There, there.

Now put on your rubber helmet so the attendants can strap you into your chair.
>> No. 407964 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:28 pm
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I predict the special relationship will be less Reagan/Thatcher and more Caesar and Cleopatra.
>> No. 407966 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:45 pm
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>>407964

Stranger things have happened.
>> No. 407967 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:51 pm
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>>407964

I'm thinking Ike and Tina.

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>> No. 407884 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 9:50 pm
407884 Bernd Locked
Harry Kim ist hier und wünscht euch allen frohes neues jahr !
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>> No. 407885 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 9:51 pm
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>>407884
You what m8?
>> No. 407886 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 9:51 pm
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>>407885
I think he is wishing us happy new year.
>> No. 407888 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 10:03 pm
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>>/zoo/ is for Krautchan refugees, friend Bernd.

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>> No. 407703 Anonymous
1st January 2017
Sunday 2:10 am
407703 I never once itched my back
anyone else?
12 posts and 3 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 407851 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 4:43 pm
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>>407849
Dead skin?
>> No. 407852 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 4:50 pm
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>>407849

Billions of trapped souls brushing past the interdimensional boundry, desperately spiraling into a deeper and deeper madness, as their quest for an afterlife becomes ever more forgotten.
>> No. 407855 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 4:56 pm
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>>407849>>407851

It's also good for things like shedding your winter fur, or removing parasites.
>> No. 407863 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 5:28 pm
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>>407855

> shedding your winter fur, or removing parasites

I suppose if you are a Neanderthal and live in a paleolithic cave, yes.
>> No. 407866 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 6:11 pm
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>>407863
But as >>407849 asked, that is essentially "the medical reason". Itches are mostly useless for us bald and clean humans, but have a real purpose in the rest of the animal kingdom.

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>> No. 407798 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 9:17 am
407798 spacer
Locked
Hello, gentlemen. We are from 2ch and need your memes. Wouldn't you show them for us?
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>> No. 407800 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 9:26 am
407800 spacer
>>407798
Nash Sovetskij Sojuz pokaraet
Ves' mir ot Evropy k Neve na vostok
Nad zemljoj vezde budut pet':
Stolica, vodka, Sovetskij medved' nash!
>> No. 407802 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 9:35 am
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Mo4aaa! CoPeeee!
>> No. 407804 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 10:02 am
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>>407798 hey boy wrong board
>> No. 407805 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 11:02 am
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Пошел нахуй, гондон.
>> No. 407806 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 11:03 am
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Hey boys I understand it's exciting to be Russian teenagers but please try to keep your foreign gibberish to >>>/zoo/

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>> No. 407296 Anonymous
10th December 2016
Saturday 9:28 pm
407296 Is the Bond film on
A long time ago in a cave far far away, about this time of the season. Some Cro Magnons were probably sat around in a cave all miserable, shivering in their mammoth skins in the constant dark, until one probably thought fuck this, let's store some food and that juice from fruit that makes everyone happy when left in a big bowl with a lid on for a few weeks. Then just have it all and cheer ourselves up a bit same time next year.

Little did Throk realise what bollocks would happen after his idea 20 000 years ago.

Post your triangular black and white striped sweets rants here
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>> No. 407772 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 12:44 pm
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>>407771

You're throwing away money. The plumber did shoddy work, and you have a right as a customer, either of the plumber or of Rightio, to have it done properly. And you also have a right to have bad repairs redone properly at no extra charge.

Now you call them right now and tell them that, and that Anon from .gs said so.
>> No. 407774 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 1:49 pm
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>>407772
This. If they fucked it up, it's on them to put it right at their own expense.
>> No. 407777 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 7:17 pm
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>>407774

Alternatively, call Channel 5 and ask them if they're still looking for people for the next Cowboy Builders series.
>> No. 407779 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 7:39 pm
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>>407772
>>407774
Guys. It's turning a nut. I just tried to do it myself and I think I managed it. If it carries on leaking I'll come back and post so you can say I told you so.
>> No. 407787 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 9:34 pm
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>>407779

>Guys. It's turning a nut.

I would have demanded they come back and fix it regardless. Just to be a cunt who knows his rights. And then the next time, they'd know better than to leave a job half finished. Because some cunt had them come back to tighten a nut.

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>> No. 407687 Anonymous
31st December 2016
Saturday 6:18 pm
407687 New Year Thread 2017
Its nearly that time again when balls around the world will drop. Tell us what you are doing to celebrate and for those of you in the future how did everything go.

This year it looks like I will be complaining about the things on television. Who are all these people on Top of the Pops and why does everything sound like the soundtrack to a gap year advertisement, am I out of touch? Or is it the children who are wrong??

I think its best we try this thread again.
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>> No. 407757 Anonymous
4th January 2017
Wednesday 4:56 pm
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>>407740
I was in a bathroom recently and saw the darnedest thing in the mirror while I was washing my hands. This little yellow bum hovering just below the cubicle doors. It turns out this oriental chap squats gooch to the ground while he wipes.
>> No. 407763 Anonymous
4th January 2017
Wednesday 9:06 pm
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>>407757
I find it hard to believe that anyone could distinguish an oriental arse from a white one. Did you wait for him to finish up and leave the cubicle?
>> No. 407764 Anonymous
4th January 2017
Wednesday 9:12 pm
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>>407763
I'm something of an arse expert. A derriere connoisseur.
>> No. 407766 Anonymous
4th January 2017
Wednesday 10:36 pm
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>>407764

>I'm something of an arse expert.

Interesting. How, under what circumstances, did you acquire that special knowledge?
>> No. 407768 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 6:33 am
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>>407764

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh_V86t9k7I

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>> No. 407559 Anonymous
26th December 2016
Monday 5:16 pm
407559 2017
What are your plans, hopes and fears for the new year? Personal as well as public ones.

I'm hoping to substantial raise my occult power levels, travel more and maybe start a new business.
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>> No. 407684 Anonymous
31st December 2016
Saturday 1:58 pm
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Here's Andrew Marr with his mongy wife wearing coordinated outfits.

UUUUUUUURRRRRGGGHHH!!!!


>> No. 407685 Anonymous
31st December 2016
Saturday 2:21 pm
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>>407684

Testament to the fact that by and large, people will usually end up with partners of equal physical attractiveness.
>> No. 407686 Anonymous
31st December 2016
Saturday 3:42 pm
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>>407685
/reptilian DNA.
>> No. 407705 Anonymous
1st January 2017
Sunday 3:39 am
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>>407559
like Alain Badiou said, Western mythology is in terminal decline because nobody believes in it anymore
>> No. 407706 Anonymous
1st January 2017
Sunday 3:42 am
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I read the proof of his thesis everyday on the internets, darlings XX

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>> No. 398951 Anonymous
11th January 2016
Monday 7:06 am
398951 Goodnight Sweet Duke
Fuck

Music legend David Bowie dies - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35278872
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>> No. 407511 Anonymous
24th December 2016
Saturday 7:27 pm
407511 spacer
>>407507
Love that programme (Armando Ianucci Shows) - it was brilliantly bleak. The best sketch being:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q9vyrB2k6s
>> No. 407658 Anonymous
30th December 2016
Friday 3:41 pm
407658 spacer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y9pPiD82LQ

Sorted.
>> No. 407659 Anonymous
30th December 2016
Friday 4:05 pm
407659 spacer
I thought I'd give Earth, Wind & Fire a listen. Cheer me up and all that about the new year.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs069dndIYk

It only turns out the lead singer (Maurice White) died in February. This is absolute madness.
>> No. 407673 Anonymous
31st December 2016
Saturday 12:31 am
407673 spacer
>>407658
Ahh the GLC lads. Always fresh on the scene.
They did this one a while back and a good number of the people they mention popped it this year.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJQwbJOj2pg
>> No. 407978 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 10:16 pm
407978 spacer
I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but the No Plan EP released recently is pretty poor. I'd rather remember him by his older stuff.

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>> No. 407513 Anonymous
25th December 2016
Sunday 12:07 am
407513 spacer
Happy Christmas then, you cunts.
18 posts and 2 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 407546 Anonymous
26th December 2016
Monday 12:48 pm
407546 spacer
Very happy with my haul this year - got one of the Playseats for the Logitech steering wheel and have been caning it ever since. Perfect gift!
>> No. 407550 Anonymous
26th December 2016
Monday 4:05 pm
407550 spacer
>>407544

For some reason my parties are legendary. Fuck knows what it is about me...
>> No. 407551 Anonymous
26th December 2016
Monday 4:06 pm
407551 spacer
>>407550

I know Maroon is going to run out of thread numbers soon. Shall we make this an NYE plan thread as well?
>> No. 407623 Anonymous
28th December 2016
Wednesday 1:36 pm
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>>407551
Yes, I'd have thought that the 400k post would be enough.
>> No. 407635 Anonymous
28th December 2016
Wednesday 6:57 pm
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>>407623
What was it?
>>400000

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>> No. 407509 Anonymous
24th December 2016
Saturday 6:44 pm
407509 Hi guys!
Phantump here! I hope this doesn't get me banned. Hope all is well.
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>> No. 407518 Anonymous
25th December 2016
Sunday 12:42 am
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>>407517
>Lightbulb Pokemon
>> No. 407524 Anonymous
25th December 2016
Sunday 11:41 am
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>>407517
Buttery biscuit base.
>> No. 407557 Anonymous
26th December 2016
Monday 4:15 pm
407557 spacer
Am I cute to you all though?
>> No. 407563 Anonymous
26th December 2016
Monday 5:59 pm
407563 spacer
>>407557
You are but you seem a bit needy.
>> No. 407567 Anonymous
26th December 2016
Monday 6:54 pm
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>>407563
How so?

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>> No. 407470 Anonymous
22nd December 2016
Thursday 7:18 pm
407470 spacer
LADS WHAT THE FUCK DO I GET MY MOTHER FOR CHRISTMAS??
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>> No. 407489 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 10:58 am
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>>407488
Because... White people decreed it so...
>> No. 407490 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 11:07 am
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Fuck sake, so I'm feeling like a bit of a twat - my sister asked me if I can get my dad a £50 gift voucher, one of those "all for one" thingies, but I'm a bit conflicted.

Isn't a gift voucher just a very, very shitty form of money? One that you are only limited to using in a select group of shops? I'm considering giving him the £50 - but I'm worried that he'll just spend it on something shite.
>> No. 407491 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 11:18 am
407491 spacer
>>407490
Give him £50 and make him sign a binding contract with a list of acceptable places he can spend the money gifted to him by his twat of a son. If he breaks the contract, you must then murder him and his family (yourself).
>> No. 407493 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 11:58 am
407493 spacer
A three day fuck fest with a coloured gentleman and a trip to marie stopes.
>> No. 407504 Anonymous
24th December 2016
Saturday 9:35 am
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>>407475
Just read the tutorials online, it's idiot proof

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>> No. 407344 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 3:36 am
407344 Oi, m8!
Oi, u lookin at me byrd, innit?
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>> No. 407353 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 5:23 pm
407353 spacer
>>407352

Why isn't your mum in IQ?
>> No. 407355 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 6:05 pm
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>>407353
Your mums too fat to fit in IQ.
>> No. 407359 Anonymous
13th December 2016
Tuesday 10:34 pm
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>>407355

Mirth.
>> No. 407364 Anonymous
14th December 2016
Wednesday 4:46 am
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>>407355
Your mums ARE too fat to fit in IQ.
>> No. 407494 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 11:59 am
407494 spacer
shes a slag and your a little cunt,fuck off before i do ya you little prick.

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>> No. 407104 Anonymous
1st December 2016
Thursday 6:57 am
407104 KWISSMUSS
Let's talk about it in the present tense because soon you'll open your presents.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ue3T0IZXQ

I think, for the first year ever, it's the start of December and I've already bought all the gifts I need to.
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>> No. 407400 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 2:15 am
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Well that's the family's presents sorted. Should arrive tomorrow.

I got my parents an amazon echo. I do know that the main thing they may want to do with it is change the temperature. I know they have a smart thermostat when they got the boiler done a few years back. I realise that particular themostat is likely to be old and incompatible with the echo. It's probably one of the first ones around. I have no clue how smart thermostats work and wouldn't know if replacing the thermostat is simply buying a new one and you're away or you have to piss about with the boiler.
>> No. 407401 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 3:10 am
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The pornstar I was knocking about with for a while recently had a huge amount of shit that she didn't pay for from her Amazon Wishlist. One of her fans even paid for a trip to LA for her so she could catch up with some friends. I feel like we could have gotten a fan to pay for our dinner rather than me doing it.
>> No. 407402 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 6:04 am
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>>407401

Well, I've managed a load of beautiful and cheap jewelry for the women in my life, a couple of books for mates who read, and arranging a cracking xmas do for the rest, and someehow managing to get an xmas present posted to and recieved by some fucking knobhead on this site before fucking January.

I've done pretty well by my standards. Oh, and said knobhead owes me a night with a Thai bargirl as well. Life is like a sewer...
>> No. 407403 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 7:14 am
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>>407402
>someehow managing to get an xmas present posted to and recieved by some fucking knobhead on this site before fucking January.

Posting boxes of turds to purple again? You know he'll catch you eventually.
>> No. 407487 Anonymous
23rd December 2016
Friday 9:47 am
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Maybe it's because I'm reading too much Grauniad, but is it abnormal to actually enjoy spending time with your family at Christmas? I have no issue with driving for an hour on Boxing Day to spend the day with my parents, eating shitloads of food, getting mothered and eventually falling asleep in a drunken stupor whilst there's some right bollocks on the telly.

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>> No. 407426 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 9:18 am
407426 2016
Morning, lads.

Let's say I live in a cultural vacuum. What have I missed this year in terms of music, books, film and television? I trust you lot because if it wasn't for you lads I wouldn't have watched Sightseers and I've picked up the odd musical recommendation and book to read over the years, too.

Thanks, lads.
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>> No. 407439 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 7:08 pm
407439 spacer
>>407438
So militant daft woggery is karma now I guess.
>> No. 407440 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 7:27 pm
407440 spacer
>>407439
Go home Vladimir, you're drunk.
>> No. 407445 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 10:09 pm
407445 spacer
>>407440
Sorry, I meant to say we should murder Russians wherever we find them? Was that the correct answer?
>> No. 407446 Anonymous
19th December 2016
Monday 10:14 pm
407446 spacer
>>407445
You should try harder. Better luck next time.
>> No. 407447 Anonymous
20th December 2016
Tuesday 1:08 pm
407447 spacer
>>407430

> And as a last literary recommendation, if you haven't read Zero Zero Zero yet

Cheers, lad. That's my Christmas week reading sorted out.

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