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>> No. 390359 Anonymous
20th May 2015
Wednesday 9:26 am
390359 Nepal lad reporting in
I didn't die in either of the big earthquakes, thousands of others however did. If you want to help, please thing long term and contribute either to educational projects or the economy by visiting us.

Pic related it's the shed exertion I spent a week in. Tea as usual. I go back up so might not be online for a while.

Lots of love,
Nepal lad.
21 posts and 5 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 390440 Anonymous
21st May 2015
Thursday 6:06 am
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Piss off JFK!
>> No. 390442 Anonymous
21st May 2015
Thursday 8:43 am
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You mean JFP retard.
>> No. 390448 Anonymous
21st May 2015
Thursday 3:25 pm
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N1 M8! The teachings of ARE SI are varied and complex, but the swiftest of all is said to be the path of Everyman. Swallow your pride, put up with gyp from the missus and the rest of your unappreciative family, work double shifts, and true Englishness will be in your grasp. HAIL MERLIN!
>> No. 390459 Anonymous
21st May 2015
Thursday 7:46 pm
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Good to hear from you ladm8.
>> No. 390490 Anonymous
22nd May 2015
Friday 6:46 pm
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juicy fuckin PIEZ

>> No. 388875 Anonymous
21st March 2015
Saturday 1:11 pm
388875 Tsanslate from chavspeak, please
Morning. Immigrant here.

Today I've run into a trio of chavs while going to the pharmacy. They were going in the same direction, and one of them was the typical "friendly drunk", hollering and swaggering. I was ahead of them, and sometimes I looked behind my shoulder to be sure not end up like this:


The friendly drunk approached me and I just humored him to get him out of my way, and one of his mates told me: "Mate, never look behind your shoulder" a couple of times. What the hell did he meant? He was offended because I checked them? WTF, they were typical chavs and I was walking through a council estate!
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>> No. 389095 Anonymous
26th March 2015
Thursday 4:41 pm
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That's the most reassuring thing about all the bollocks on the internet I find. The nearest I've come to internet bullshit being apparent in real life is my SU selling 'I love consent' t shirts. Honestly.
>> No. 389096 Anonymous
26th March 2015
Thursday 5:33 pm
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This is why I never bothered with the SU sanctioned [political party] club and ended up going to the local branch where the old beardy types hung about.
There are still people I studied with 3 years ago who walk about saying "amazeballs in real life.
>> No. 389097 Anonymous
26th March 2015
Thursday 5:36 pm
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There's a guy at work who says that too. Not every second, but often enough for you to remind me of it.

I associated with the SU fairly closely because I was an editor at a student newspaper, I made a moderately substantial post about sabbatical officers somewhere.
>> No. 390172 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 4:39 pm
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Could you go back to pol please.
>> No. 390173 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 5:03 pm
390173 spacer
>22nd March 2015
n1 that lad from 20 posts up the thread wun no wot it im

Screen Shot 2015-04-28 at 22.52.05.png
>> No. 389825 Anonymous
28th April 2015
Tuesday 10:54 pm
389825 lovely black clock

show me your big beefy clock. made of dots.
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>> No. 390166 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 3:07 am
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>> No. 390167 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 3:27 am
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I'm exiting my twenties too and I haven't even achieved half what you have. I don't even feel one way or another about it any more. I think I have accepted being a lesser of a human being. At this point, death is a fate far better than life.
>> No. 390168 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 7:14 am
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Maybe I did milk it a bit, but realising how limited we are with our time is something I've always found difficult to keep in mind. It surprises me when it strikes me again.
>> No. 390169 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 7:23 am
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>> No. 390170 Anonymous
14th May 2015
Thursday 7:33 am
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Because of what's all around us. And... bat.

>> No. 389854 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 10:55 pm
389854 Strange shit
I've just got off the bus, at 10:30pm, and as i was walking up the road when something on a grassy verge caught my eye. Six massive fucking herons just chilling, Right beside a busy road, in a built up area of the city center. I tried to take a photo, but it was dark and you literally can't see anything in the photo, so a stock heron photo will have to do.
I want to reiterate the fact i live near the center of a large city, and not out in the countryside. Are herons even supposed to hang about in groups?
It's definitely in my top 3 of strange fucking things I've seen.
Anyway, lets hear what bizarre things you've seen.
8 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 390019 Anonymous
7th May 2015
Thursday 8:06 pm
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Alright, many moons ago when I was a teenlad a tramp in Birmingham City Centre sprayed something on me from a squeezy bottle and called me a "tottering fat bastard" for no reason presumably other than I was quite pudgy and maybe looked like a bastard. He then ran off into the pavilions.

I didn't see him again until I was 24, he had a small child with him and was dressed in a tracksuit and baseball cap holding the childs hand. Having lost the weight and built on some muscle I felt confident enough to confront him about what happened so I stopped him on the street and said "You probably don't remember me but when I was 17 you squirted american mustard on me, called me a fat bastard and ran off. I don't want to start on you while you've got a kid but I want to ask why the fuck you'd do something like that. It was a fucking nightmare to get out of my hair and hoodie".

He calmly explained that back then he was off his psych meds and recently kicked out of his girlfriends flat and homeless but he got help at a shelter and now he's got his act together, apologized for it and handed me £30 for the trouble I caused and hoped I'd forgive him in time.

I donated £25 to the homeless shelter. and spent £5 of it on washing detergent and shampoo to replace what he owed.
>> No. 390022 Anonymous
7th May 2015
Thursday 9:59 pm
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We mostly just get ours sprayed, although you do see them circling looking for newly stocked ponds.
>> No. 390028 Anonymous
8th May 2015
Friday 1:50 am
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>> No. 390035 Anonymous
8th May 2015
Friday 1:49 pm
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>It's definitely in my top 3 of strange fucking things I've seen.
What were the other 2?
>> No. 390151 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 8:09 pm
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2.) I got a double yolker egg once.
3.) Ed Milliband walking on his hind legs.

>> No. 390122 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 12:40 am
390122 Searching for newspaper archives
Sup my dear britfags. I am a student from other country and now I am working on thesis for which I am doing a research connected with lexis in newspapers (in my case it's British ones). Newspapers chosen: The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Gurading. Need editions for march 2014 and feb 2015. Have dealt with DT since they offer it for free on their website. Have found archives for others 2 but I need to pay/have registration in special libraries which I am trying to avoid. So my question/plea: is there any good source of these archives? Eventhough NMPA, your help is needed. Ask questions if you want.
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>> No. 390125 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 1:09 am
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>The Guardian newspaper is generally referred to as "the grauniad", in reference to the paper's reputation for typographical errors and mistakes and its lower-case masthead logo. Editor Alan Rusbridger is usually referred to as "Rubbisher".

Although Gurading isn't the correct spelling for that either.
>> No. 390127 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 11:34 am
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You should have bluffed the old private eye joke the worst you can spell teh graduina and it still be recognizable the better.
>> No. 390128 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 12:46 pm
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Have you tried getting in touch with those papers directly? I'm sure they keep digital copies of their old editions and it would be much trouble for them to send you some.
>> No. 390129 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 1:04 pm
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I got the same idea just before I went to sleep, so I will most likely try this one.
>> No. 390131 Anonymous
13th May 2015
Wednesday 2:36 pm
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I actually preferred "The Gurading", I thought it was a deliberate and pithy reference to the Graun's reputation.

OP, if it's part of your research your institution should be able to get you access to these newspapers, have you tried asking your tutors about whether they can get you access? This is standard fare for universities, I work in a university library and most UK institutions pay to have journal and newspaper access for their students; I'm not sure what the situation is abroad but I would assume it would be similar. They should be paying for you to be able to access the resources you need, not you paying out of your own pocket.

>> No. 388971 Anonymous
24th March 2015
Tuesday 4:48 am
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When I'm in bed with the mrs and she falls asleep, I use her laptop. Something I like to do before I'm finished is find a picture of a cute animal (she prefers cats, but any will do if cute) and leave it on the screen when I close the lid, so it's the first thing she sees when she goes to use it again. She likes this a lot.

Anyway, I need more cute animal pictures, please post some. Thanks. I've already used all the ones from that /shed/ thread.
106 posts and 77 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 389304 Anonymous
8th April 2015
Wednesday 1:52 pm
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D'awww that's cute as fuck. I always used to be scared of moths, but this doesn't look scary at all.
>> No. 390060 Anonymous
9th May 2015
Saturday 10:32 am
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I resurrect this thread in order to combat an otherwise shit weekend.

Osiris and Riff Rat.
>> No. 390061 Anonymous
9th May 2015
Saturday 10:34 am
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>> No. 390108 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 4:15 am
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Damn, that's creepy.
>> No. 390121 Anonymous
12th May 2015
Tuesday 4:29 pm
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>> No. 390065 Anonymous
9th May 2015
Saturday 8:35 pm
390065 Teacon Locked
Reckon this is legit tealads?

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>> No. 390066 Anonymous
9th May 2015
Saturday 9:03 pm
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Unlikely, and this should be in /A/ anyway.

>> No. 389986 Anonymous
7th May 2015
Thursday 2:26 am
389986 late night .gs
Remember these?

The .gs choice of colours is very soothing on the eyes at this time of night. This is the best website for early hours browsing, in that sense.
35 posts and 3 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 390030 Anonymous
8th May 2015
Friday 4:25 am
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Of course you can lad. All are welcome at silly o'clock in the morning.
>> No. 390031 Anonymous
8th May 2015
Friday 4:46 am
390031 spacer
Fuck me I want a job.
>> No. 390032 Anonymous
8th May 2015
Friday 7:10 am
390032 spacer
Me and you both mate.
>> No. 390033 Anonymous
8th May 2015
Friday 7:26 am
390033 spacer
Apparently you can get one from a homeless lass in Cardiff for about a tenner.
>> No. 390034 Anonymous
8th May 2015
Friday 11:47 am
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It's alright, Clegg, there'll be plenty of employment opportunities in heaven. Jut close your eyes, let it happen.

>> No. 389917 Anonymous
3rd May 2015
Sunday 12:54 pm
389917 God save are princess
I couldn't give a ha'penny fuck what some sour faced republican or secessionist has to say on the matter, what a nice bit of news in an otherwise shit fortnight.
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>> No. 389979 Anonymous
6th May 2015
Wednesday 12:43 am
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Saw some DM 'reporters' stalking around Cambridge on Sunday for this fine piece of journalism - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3066423/Drinking-bins-stripping-Thousands-students-prestigious-Cambridge-University-celebrate-start-summer-term-fancy-dress-traditional-drinking-games-leave-unable-stand.html. For those wisely unwilling to click on DM, it can be summarized as STUDENTS DRINKING IN THE SUN ON A WEEKEND SHOCKER. What is most amusing is that they have written the exact same article this time for at least three years (probably longer). Can't wait for their upcoming STUDENTS IN POST EXAMS PISS UP SHOCKER article come May week.
>> No. 389980 Anonymous
6th May 2015
Wednesday 12:56 am
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>> No. 389982 Anonymous
6th May 2015
Wednesday 10:32 pm
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Ah, Daily Pail, where would we be without you.
>> No. 389983 Anonymous
6th May 2015
Wednesday 10:51 pm
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>> No. 389984 Anonymous
6th May 2015
Wednesday 10:57 pm
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anti coffee.jpg
>> No. 389856 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 11:38 pm
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When I make tea, I leave my teabag in for 3 minutes before removing it. I was just thinking though, does that mean two teabags would only take 1 minute and 30 seconds? And 4 teabags taking 45 seconds? 8 teabags in 22.5 seconds? 16 in 11?

If this is all true, how many teabags will it take to get to the point where the number of teabags no longer affects how quickly the water infuses with the tea?
6 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 389872 Anonymous
1st May 2015
Friday 11:50 am
389872 spacer
Some of the substances/natural chemicals in tea leaves only diffuse into the tea fully after a few minutes. Namely tannins, but also certain complex flavours. There are therefore plenty of reasons why it is advisable to leave a tea bag in for some time. A tea that has been infused with one bag for three or four minutes will always taste different from a tea where you had two tea bags in it for half that time.
>> No. 389876 Anonymous
1st May 2015
Friday 5:24 pm
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That's not even close to being true. I love coffee, it's better than tea in general, but... That stale instant shit that sits in a jug all day in an office is just awful, I'd take a Tetley's over that any day.
>> No. 389877 Anonymous
1st May 2015
Friday 7:02 pm
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Get some proper coffee then. ROCKET JUICE Instant Coffee is really good. I highly recommend taking off with ROCKET JUICE Instant Coffee.
>> No. 389879 Anonymous
1st May 2015
Friday 7:15 pm
389879 spacer
Why are you typing like a spambot?
>> No. 389880 Anonymous
1st May 2015
Friday 7:21 pm
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Oh no, you blew his cover

>> No. 389417 Anonymous
14th April 2015
Tuesday 9:31 pm
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As random as I could think of and have a fucking good gloat at the same time. My not be the biggest balance but it sure makes me happy......
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>> No. 389835 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 3:49 pm
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I'm trying this. I'll let you know all know what happens after a week.
>> No. 389839 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 9:04 pm
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Be careful, when you go off there's a kickback like a cannon.
>> No. 389840 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 1:27 am
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'He did it not once, but twice. After the second time, Tiffany decided to investigate. She assumed that her water tasted strange for one reason and had her boyfriend ejaculate into a water bottle to see if her suspicion was right.'
>> No. 389874 Anonymous
1st May 2015
Friday 2:43 pm
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So it's been 3 days since I began, and there's already a noticeable difference. Whereas before I would get one and a bit pumps in a cum, I am now getting three and a bit.
>> No. 389875 Anonymous
1st May 2015
Friday 3:16 pm
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3 days is about what I would say was a good time to leave it to test it. Leave it another 3 days, report back.

>> No. 389845 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 4:31 pm
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Basing your answer only on how you think the electorate would vote on such issues, is it more politically correct to be crayfish, or to be a drug user?

I will gladly request a ban for that vile compound sentence.
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>> No. 389848 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 5:32 pm
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Do you think ARE NIG would rather kiss one of them eskimoc womenfolk for a photo op? or would he rather be filmed smoking crack cocaine on a couch? a la a notable Tory MP who's name eludes me at the moment.
>> No. 389849 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 5:35 pm
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If Nick Clegg wants a bid at being proper PM this time, should he be made to publically apologize for buying Cyril Smith a DeLorean that one time?
>> No. 389850 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 6:28 pm
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Back to /iq/, adventurers.
>> No. 389851 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 7:01 pm
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You really think that Cameron would 'forget' his progeny for anything less stellar than two michelin stars?
>> No. 389852 Anonymous
30th April 2015
Thursday 7:05 pm
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As a younglad uni-educated labourer type, I would vote to stop the war.

>> No. 389830 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 2:15 pm
389830 British death in Nepal earthquake confirmed Locked
A Briton living overseas is among the 5,000 victims of the Nepal earthquake, the Foreign Office has confirmed.


Can Nepal-lad confirm he is safe?
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>> No. 389831 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 2:19 pm
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We'd even accept a picture of the fucking piemaster with some garbled culturally appropriated misinterpretation of Buddhism. Hope you and your mates are alright. Horrible news.
>> No. 389832 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 2:21 pm
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This. If he can confirm that he's not the one killed then we can safely send our condolences to the family.
>> No. 389833 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 2:45 pm
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Why make another thread when there's this one?

>> No. 389834 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 3:20 pm
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Because some people can only function if there's a thread on /b/.

Why do we even have /zoo/ these days? Can Johnny Foreigners even post?
>> No. 389836 Anonymous
29th April 2015
Wednesday 4:39 pm
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It is a museum. Foreigners can't post.

>> No. 389668 Anonymous
22nd April 2015
Wednesday 12:51 am
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Why do people put such value on virginity? Why is it so attractive? Why do people pay more for virgin prostitutes?

Is it insecurity? Do men value virgins because they assuredly have no competition?
Is it do with youth? Does a girl being a virgin trigger something in a man's brain that tells she must have vitality and fertility?
Is it concerning fertility and fatherhood? Does a virgin still (in the modern age where we have birth control and abortions and DNA tests) remain an attractive mate to a man because she is definitely not pregnant with a different mate?
Is it something weird to do with the 'energies' of virgin girls, that inspired the ideas of bathing in virgin's blood or virgin sacrifice? Why were virgins sacrificed?
It is a corruption thing? Do people just like the idea of destroying something 'new', like walking on new snow?
Is it a pedophilic thing?

I knew someone who a was a terrible man whore, who gloated over how many virginities he'd taken. He was prone to extreme jealousy, deeply insecure and power-hungry. I always associated people's love of virginity as being something sinister after knowing him.

I'd also like to ask about religion specifically: why do religions like Christianity venerate virgins? There's a young girl who was martyred because she refused to marry and have children, and was executed for it. Why? Doesn't God want his people to procreate? Who should have children and who should be dedicated solely to God in the opinion of the Church? I understand that nuns and vicars abstain from sex so they can dedicate themselves to religion and stay away from lustful thoughts, but 1) can't they raise a family at the same time and 2) what if everybody decided to do this - to not have sex, to not procreate?
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>> No. 389736 Anonymous
24th April 2015
Friday 5:39 am
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indeed it isn't clear that the frequency is being compressed and elongated.
>> No. 389737 Anonymous
24th April 2015
Friday 5:44 am
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Not every single nationalist/ crayfish post on britchan was Simon Bennett, but if it looks and sounds like ARE SIMON I wouldn't blame you for presuming it was.
>> No. 389738 Anonymous
24th April 2015
Friday 12:28 pm
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The red and the blue hues illustrate the frequency decreasing, but you are correct that one would expect the actual waveform to show broader waves towards the end as well. Audiophilelad out.
>> No. 389739 Anonymous
24th April 2015
Friday 1:14 pm
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I think it's a whoosh sound, implying it's going over someone's head.
>> No. 389740 Anonymous
24th April 2015
Friday 1:17 pm
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>>389729 >>389739
Okay. I know approximately nothing about sound; I'm just a fan of subtlety in humour and am likewise impressed with my joke's reception.

Here you go.

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