Most weddings are well organised, what's happening and where you're supposed to be and doing what will usually be made quite clear. Just make sure your dress-code following clothes are comfortable and that you have a decent snack that can be eaten quietly just in case. If you don't know anyone well, chances are it'll mainly be tedious.

I went to this exact wedding last year, or at least a very similar one. Don't go hogging the groom's time just because you don't know anyone else; he knows everyone there and you should stay in the background unless you think you can get away with it.

The ceremony bit will be fine; it's like watching a play. After that, you will hang about a bit and will have a chance to send messages to your other friends from those days whom he didn't invite because they were all dickheads to him and you were his only real friend. Try and get some sneaky photos for those friends. Don't tell him you're doing this. (Your friendship and backstory might differ from mine here, but the rest of my post should all still apply).

Then, you get the eating bit. At this point, you will be put on a table with a bunch of strangers. These could well be other people who don't know anyone else there, and it is okay to talk to them and even make friends with them. Watch out for tossers and sex predators; if everyone else is in groups who know each other well, you might unfortunately be on the miscellaneous table with people who don't deserve to know anyone else. But that's a worst-case scenario; the best-case scenario is that your groom friend will seat you with people he knows you will get on with, and you will have a fantastic time with them, and they with you.

>>463767

>I continue to maintain that the current Conservative shitshow is all Brexit’s fault.

Agreed, in a way. The problem is that while democracy and the will of the people are good concepts that don't do much harm in and of themselves, you've got to be careful about what you ask the people specifically, and how you ask it and what consequences it will have. I guess that's the real lesson.

You could do all manner of statistically significant opinion polls that will tell you who is in favour of contentious issue X or Y. For example, according to the latest polls, 60 percent of Brits would back a reintroduction of the death penalty. The question is if the country will be better off if you put very fundamental and consequential questions to the people in that kind of way, so that their vote on the matter will actually either cause Britain to leave the EU or to readopt capital punishment.

For a democracy to function, as counterintuitive as it seems, sometimes you have to ignore the will of the people. Otherwise, you could end up derailing your democratic system in and of itself.

>>463767

I largely agree, although I don't think it's even as complicated as that. It's just that Brexit was the only reason people were voting for them in the first place, and either way they would have been fucked once they'd actually gone and done it.

All of our politics of the last 20 years has been dominated by that gut instinct bellyfeel emotional impulse that tells ordinary northern working class Red Wall type voters who know they should be voting Labour that they can't vote Labour, because immigrants. Well now that we did Brexit and immigration stayed at record levels, it's made two things staggeringly obvious even to the most ignorant Baz down the pub type.

Firstly, that the Conservatives are complete frauds who always secretly wanted massive immigration no matter how hard they posture against it.

Secondly, that the Conservatives really did have nothing else. Brexit was the only thing they had and they even cocked that up.

The Red Wall voters who surged over to Bozza weren't under any illusion that the Conservatives were suddenly going to look after them. They weren't even under any impression that Brexit was going to meaningfully improve things. But actually doing it made the point. It lanced the boil. It's done and it's over with and going forward we only have ourselves to account for what happens in our country. In all likelihood, I reckon we'd have seen them all flip back over to Labour even if the Conservatives hadn't had disaster after disaster for the last five years; Liz Truss and all the scandals were just the final nail in the coffin of a party that were already done for.

>>463660
>He was a sort of vaguely kind of lefty (before he was unpersoned
>unpersoned
What's that mean mate?

>>463958

He done a bit of sex naughties apparently, so he's an outcast now isn't he. Don't read any implicit bias into it because there wasn't.

>>463958
His original audience got bored of him so he started doing the Alex Jones thing in an English accent for a different audience then people remembered he did a cheeky bit of rape back in the day so now he can market himself to a more hardcore version of his new audience because they sympathise it's just like in Jorjor Wells.

A new family moved onto the street last year, with the man working some form of trade. So far they have replaced the entire back garden with decking, bought a hot tub, replaced all of the windows/fascias grey and installed LED lights inside their rooms. They are currently in the process of digging up the lovely front garden they inherited and paving it over so they have a second parking space.

They're planning to put >100 acres of substations here, compulsory purchase of my field, etc. Wankers.

>>463891
>with the man working some form of trade.
There goes the neighbourhood.

>>463896
He has a work van and everything. Very unsightly.

>>463891

The house next to mine was bought by a Persian family two years ago. It had been suffering neglect because the person living in it became increasingly frail and then went into a home, and her children spent a long time bickering over what they wanted to do with the house, without anybody living in it or even looking after it in a meaningful way during that time. And naturally, when they finally sold, there were signs of neglect all over the property, from unmowed grass and out of control weeds and bushes to roof shingles falling off.

The Persians have been doing the house up nicely, but at some point they went and covered the lawn and flower beds in front of the house with coarse gravel and concrete tiles. They left a few bushes standing to keep it from looking too barren, but it really looks a bit soulless. Apparently they are both very busy business owners and don't have the time, but if your business is doing well then surely you can hire somebody to do your gardening for you.

I've gone the other way and there's a handful of well looked after tall trees and bushes in front of my house. It's a real front garden that deserves the name. And it's a lot more eco friendly these days than my neighbours' polar landscape.

It's probably a good idea to set yourself a limit for time spent online, but don't leave completely. Most of the stimulation you get from our thrilling debates will come in the first ten minutes or so of being here, and then you're just refreshing the page hoping something exciting happens. Also, consider only doing one thing at a time; I can feel my attention span crumbling away to nothing and it's honestly a bit scary. And I am by no means the most online person I know.

As someone old enough to remember life before the internet, it's really hard to overstate how much boredom was a part of everyday life. We'd watch Ski Sunday or Songs of Praise, because it was the least bad option out of three or four channels. We spent an implausible amount of time standing around outside of places, waiting for our mates to turn up. If and when they did turn up, we'd often just sit on a wall for an hour or two doing nothing, or just aimlessly wander around the streets. We'd drink cans and smoke cheap hash and try to think of things to talk about. Sometimes we'd throw stones at a bin or smash up a bus stop or have a fight for literally no reason at all.

I think there's a lot of rose-tinted nostalgia about what life was like before phones and the internet. We weren't doing lots of fulfilling things in our spare time, we were just bored shitless.

>>463799
That's actually another thing I thought about after I posted >>463798. In the past, everyone was bored and so you went out and were bored together. But now, you could completely swear off the Internet and go cold-turkey and leave and never come back, but a lot of the people you would hang out with are now terminally online too, so you will wind up even lonelier than you would have been without sites like this one. It might be productive to quit (I have noticed that the least-online people I know do seem to be so much happier a lot of the time), but there's nothing to really replace it with if you do quit. If you have a hobby, or some books that need reading, then great, but otherwise you're just abandoning something you do so that you can do absolutely nothing instead. If you want to get your music without algorithmic influence, the radio still exists but Top of the Pops is fucking gone. I still watch plenty of Freeview TV, but I really do watch just the news and nothing else, because it's an absolute polar now. I touch grass regularly, and it's not that productive.

>>463800

It gets said a lot around here, but that's why hobbies and clubs exist. Cycling or fishing or golf is mostly just an excuse to spend a few hours afternoon hanging out with some mates. Women bond face-to-face, men bond shoulder-to-shoulder.

>>463724
I was thinking more that about 90% of pipe tobacco wouldn't work in a rollie, see pic related. Straight up ribbon cut yellow Virginia would probably work fine though, now that you mention it.

I reckon I might try a pipe one of these days.

I've mostly quit smoking for vaping, I only get the urge to smoke when I've had a drink or some particularly stiff stimulants. But that being the case maybe it'd be fun to smoke in a more indulgent fashion.

What do you do with a pipe? Do you just get pipe baccy and stuff it in and light it?

>>463775
>What do you do with a pipe? Do you just get pipe baccy and stuff it in and light it?
Pretty much. There're probably techniques to packing it, but fuck that you'll learn as you go. Some like to make a game of keeping it lit with the least possible effort, ie nursing the cherry till there's nothing left to burn. Using a match is much easier than a regular lighter, also (though a free burning fuel lighter would probably be good).
Also pipe tobacco is much stronger than rolling - smells great but I believe you're not meant to actually inhale it.

Seriously though, not to patronise you but it's generally a bad idea to start smoking if you're not already. Appart from the obvious drawbacks, you'll have a dry mouth and bad breath every moring that doesn't clear with water or a tooth brush. Your gums will begin to recede before long, which is mildly painful like a minor tooth ache. You'll get pastey skin, headaches, and possibly even sleep apnoea.

I've been smoking semi-regularly for almost a year now (>>/fit/3128) and I regret starting. Not so much for the health issues but the cost, stigma and addicting effects. At this point to give up is only as difficult as I make it, but I am making it difficult by having nothing else in my life that so reliably gets me out of the house. I finished a pack earlier today, it'll be about 2 days before I start thinking about buying again. When I do start thinking about it, I remind myself that it's a self perpetuating activity and I'm not really getting anything out of it other than feeding a light addiction and making it worse. I mean, I do enjoy many of the cigarettes but it's just not worth keeping the cycle going.

>>463779

>Seriously though, not to patronise you but it's generally a bad idea to start smoking if you're not already

I already smoke maybe a pack of cigs a month, generally I'll buy a pack on pay day and have half of them with a few beers every other weekend. Before that I was a maybe 10-15 a day rollie smoker, but the vape has got me off being a full time smoker.

It's not ideal but believe me cigs are the least of my worries when it comes to addictive drugs.

>>463775
Pack it fairly tightly, but not so tightly that's it's hard to draw through. You've got to be able draw through it with your nose, if you breathe in through your mouth you'll burn your mouth, and if you can't draw breath with your nose then the ember just isn't going to stay lit. Some like to singe the top of the tobacco and then tamp it down gently before relighting to get a proper ember going, but you don't necessarily need to do that. And you don't inhale it like a cigarette, you just need to let the smoke circulate in your mouth. I recommend doing it when you've had a solid meal and you're not in a hurry to do anything else.

The main benefit is the variety of tobaccos and their flavours, as well as it being a slow and easygoing experience, otherwise it has all the other problems that come with nicotine and with smoking.

>>463485
Thank you.

I have to say, researching all this has been depressing. If we can't sort all this, I fear I'll need to make a difficult choice and leave the country with her...

She has an impressive career history in commercial real estate, so I'm hoping that can land her a good job here at least.

>>463485
This, but also the Home Office really don't like being challenged when they get it wrong, and recent Home Secretaries have decided that the courts should keep their filthy noses out of the department's business.

OP, don't be surprised if you go through the process, they come to the wrong decision, and try to put the missus on a flight to Rwanda before you have a chance to contest it. Remember that former Imperial subjects who are now British citizens have been deported because the Home Office cleared out their evidence of eligibility for taking up too much space.

In all seriousness, joking and hyperbole aside, we really must abolish the Home Office.

>>463561

>She has an impressive career history in commercial real estate

If she has plenty of money you'll be alright, just hire a good specialist solicitor.

The immigration system is just another one of those things where we have a lot of dense and impenetrable legislation designed to make it seem like there's some kind of system, some kind of rules and fairness to the criteria, but all it really is at the end of the day is a wealth filter.

>>463577
Well, I qualify for this £88k savings alone, and she has around 50k from what I gather. I'm hoping this is the biggest hurdle... Because despite healthy savings we don't really have the money for expensive solicitors.

>>463592
>Because despite healthy savings we don't really have the money for expensive solicitors.

What? Between you you've got more money than most people earn in five years. Get a grip.

>>463555

Also having "discussions" about Simon Armitage and Carol Ann Duffy.

>>463555
Back in 2009, it was one 20th century American novel (either Of Mice and Men or To Kill A Mockingbird), one 19th century British novel (I did Jane Eyre), two Shakespeares (for me The cup of tea and Romeo & Juliet. We also had the poetry anthology - some classic English poems a couple of hundred years old, some absolute wank from Carol Ann Duffy and pals, and then modern ethnic poems about being non-white.

Other than Of Mice and Men which I do genuinely like, every other element put me off their respective genres/time periods/mediums. It's instilled a genuine hatred of poetry, I physically cringe when reading or hearing a poem, doubly so if performed live. An entire art form ruined because I had to spend hours writing essays on how Carol Ann Duffy is not a talentless hack bitch and her imagery was good actually.

>>463555
And you didn't even learn it well enough to remember the proper title.

>>463557
I've seen a similar reaction after telling Spaniards that I love Don Quixote. I guess you can't underestimate the power of the school system to forever destroy a child's love of reading.

>>463558
You're not supposed to say the full title; legend has it that if you say it three times the mice will come and make you one of their 'men'.

>>463547

>I actually wonder if it might be another reason we struggle to pick up a second language. At least if you're working class.

Working class implies a low level of schooling. Maybe you left school with your GCSEs, or even without them. In any case, the amount of foreign language classes you've had by that point isn't enough to be functional beyond ordering chips on holiday or checking into a hotel. Especially if you're the kind of working class person who was struggling in school to begin with.

I took French and German in school. French is somewhat easy because of all the Latin words shared with English, and German because of the common Germanic roots. I find that both languages can be rudimentally intelligible against English, i.e. even somebody who knows neither language can make out bits from texts in French or German.

I'm intrigued to see where they're going with this. There's someone in CCHQ who has fully embraced shitposting over the years and this time they may have free reign to lean into their madness. I can just imagine Rishi scurrying into their office and demanding that the people be made to love him like they love Boris and this is the result.

The only thing that isn't leaning into absurdism on the poster is Rishi in the centre and that might be a concession.

>>463494

Apparently, it's a deliberate strategy. People like us will share it in order to mock it, but the kind of people who might still vote Tory are also the kind of people who still like Minions memes.

>>463495
I do like the series Sunak is doing where he just gets a flip-chart and a pen to explain his positions:

Maybe he's targeting the .gs demographic by slowly morphing into Carol Vorderman. And maybe we've not had a Carol post since Christmas because someone got picked up by CCHQ. Whose to say how deep the Conservative Party goes in this country.

>>463494
>There's someone in CCHQ who has fully embraced shitposting over the years
You bastard. You've got me listening to Boriswave again. It's just too brilliant to move past.

>>463508
Rishiwave is still in the prototype stage.

>>463356

My friends and I have pretty much stopped going to clubs entirely, most we'll do is go to a pub or cocktail bar, but more the ones that cater to our age group. Let's say 35-55.

But back in the late 90s and early 2000s, it was definitely not the norm that you saw many 30somethings, let alone 40somethings out and about in clubs at the weekend. We still occasionally went out to bars and clubs that were meant for the older crowd up into our late 30s, so we're talking early 2010s by then, but people of our age group were definitely a dying breed by then, and a while later I pretty much stopped going. I still remember the day when I decided that I'd had enough. I was at a singles party, and other single people my age that were there just looked incredibly sad. And I didn't want to look or be like them.

I spent over 20 years of my life partying, from age 15 into my late 30s. I did all the outrageous things you do when you're young and out having a good time. I did them for 20 years. That's enough for one lifetime, if you ask me. You've got to know when to quit.

>>463359

As is my eternal mantra in life, all things in moderation.

When you go out partying every weekend for 20 years, sure, you'll just be sick of it one day. I got like that with live music after a while, and especially after having been in a bands for several years and seeing it from the other side. I still occasionally enjoy a gig, but if I do go to one it's an expensive do because I know I'll be drinking a lot and probably buying some coke, so it's only a couple of times a year at most.

I think for me, the thing is I was always quite reserved, I never went out with a big group of mates every single weekend. I had plenty of big and memorable (for the right and wrong reasons) weekenders, but I spent much more of my time as a twenty-something living the kind of life a mid 40s bloke might be expected to anyway, so the wild times were always more exciting by contrast.

It's all about balance innit.

What if going out is like it's always been, great if you get a big crew together of decent lads but it just gets harder to have that crew when you're all grown-up?

Imagine if a bunch of us old geezers went out and started standing around in a circle with drinks in our hands talking about some bollocks from 15 years ago Moaty. I bet it would make the young folk uncomfortable.

>>463362

>but it just gets harder to have that crew when you're all grown-up

I think that's the difficult part. For most of early middle age, people have demanding jobs and a spouse and kids to raise. Even if you could manage going out one Saturday a month, most of your friends will have the same problem and probably won't be free the same weekend.

I think that's what ends many partying cliques as you get older. Between the end of school and about the end of uni and then into the early years of your work life, it's no problem at all to get people together for a good night out. But then by your late 20s, most people have less and less time and energy for it. Everybody, yourself included, is just dealing with too much adult stuff. The best you'll be able do on a regular basis is dinner parties at someone's house that are over by 11 o'clock.

Somebody told me on the phone today that I sounded 25. Despite turning 50 this year. Some help desk younglad on the phone at a car parts company I called, and he got chummy with me the way he probably would have with somebody his own age. I then mentioned to him that I'm 49, and that product A was probably more for the young crowd, and that I'd rather have product B. So he said, "Wait, what? Really?".

It happens occasionally that people place my voice much younger. Although I'm not sure what you are supposed to sound like at 50. What I can say is that I quit smoking twelve years ago and don't really drink alcohol at all.

Ten years ago, that kind of compliment would have made my day. These days, I don't fucking care if I sound 25 or 50. I'm 50, and any day above ground is a good day.

>>463063

We're not going to undo climate change at this point. It's all about slowing it down now. But even that is worth doing. Defeatism doesn't get you anywhere.

But it doesn't have to be a Tesla. There are increasingly other options, where a car company isn't run by a pound shop Bond villain.

>>463064
>Defeatism doesn't get you anywhere.
It gets me to any airport on the planet at around 600 mph actually.

>>463063
Honestly I think climate change is too convinient a cover for the use of weaponised weather manipulation technologies for it to be meaningfully tackled before a third world war. Also they're defrosting the Arctic to get at whatever's within the ice..

>>463065

>It gets me to any airport on the planet at around 600 mph

Don't many planes fly slower today than they used to, to save fuel and reduce emission?

>>463067

No, but also sort of yes. There hasn't really been a strategic decision to run at lower cruise speeds, but narrow body jets naturally have a cruise speed that's 40-50 knots slower than a wide body. The shift from hub-and-spoke to point-to-point operations mean that more passenger miles are being flown on smaller narrow body jets, which has unintentionally resulted in a reduction in average speeds.

I buy ten sausage rolls and a big multipack of crisps from Asda for my work dinners. It's not the healthiest but it covers my pack up for three or four quid a week. I usually leave the roast chicken flavour til last because they are my least favourite. But I've had two packs just now and I have had a change of heart, and now I'm looking forward to getting home tonight to scoff the rest.

Also eating the cheapo crisps all the time has really put into perspective how bloody hell, "posh" crisps like Sensations or Kettle Chips etc are a complete rip off aren't they? It's literally just slices of potato, when you buy into the luxury behind their brand you really are paying solely for marketing.

Surplus enjoyment I suppose innit. Bet my boy Slavoj eats own brand crisps.

>>463007

>>463006
He never actually turned up, did he?

>>463028
I've been promised he'll be here between 8am and 6pm Monday.

>>463029
My flat was due to have a leak in the kitchen looked at (delayed by like two weeks obviously), and on the due day a guy turned up at our door just saying he was here for the kitchen, so my wife let him in while I was shaving. Then I heard a huge smashing noise so went to see what it was, and the floor was covered in the smashed remnants of our oven door. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was removing the oven, and naturally I told him there is no reason to smash our oven to pieces just to look at a leak, which he didn't seem to understand at all. But it was clear the gears in his head were finally turning, and he went outside to his mate to talk with him. Turns out they were both meant to be installing an oven in a flat two doors next to us, I guess he can't read numbers? I was actually too taken aback to get angry at him, some man I am.
We got compensated, but the paperwork was a shitemare. And that is why I cringe at being told the repair man can't come today, wait til next week.

>>462797
https://twitter.com/CBSSports/status/1756846542529400924

>>462795
You are the guy Deborah Cameron was writing about. Men gossip and always have done.

https://dl1.cuni.cz/pluginfile.php/599428/mod_resource/content/1/CAmeron%2C%20Performing%20gender%20identity%20young%20mens%20talk.pdf

>>462799
Yeah, the notion that men don't bitch, gossip and backstab is outright bollocks.

>>462799
>>462800

Speak for yourselves I suppose, but I still think social media has made it all the more common, and I stand by the second half of the post. Being nasty about people who have done nothing to you and aren't hurting anyone comes out of nothing other than a personal failing within oneself.

I've certainly been guilty of it in the past and won't deny it, but I realised it's really a horrible behaviour and nowadays I consciously try not to. It's one of those things I don't think there's really any excuse for, and people know it, so the best they can do is pretend everyone else is just as bad, therefore it's okay.

>>462797
I didn’t enjoy it myself. The teams are quite boring and it was mostly field goals. I was furious when I stayed up till the end of the fourth quarter and it went to bloody overtime. That said, it was a close and cagey game, so I think some of the criticism I’ve seen is a bit harsh.

>>462784

Is it worth it though fro a boring and uninteresting job?

>>462803

Maybe you should moan about this on the Grauniad? Pretend to be a Woman and I'm sure you'll get the answers you need.

>>462815
Are you high lad?

>>462816

What the hell does that have to do with the price of fish?

>>462817
About the same as >>462815.

>>462620
I raise you the Frontline Morale Destroyer

>>462622

>Kind of depressing that we could destroy our selves before we get a chance to reach for the stars.

Great Filter, innit. The idea that civilisations that become technologically advanced run the risk of using that technology to fight and wipe out themselves before managing to fully conquer space.

Which could go some way explaining why we haven't found evidence of alien civilisations. Maybe life itself isn't that rare in the Universe, but intelligent life almost always pisses it up the wall. And we're essentially still apes with nukes.

The Drake Equation already implies a Great Filter without directly arguing for it, especially the factors fc and L at the end, which look at the probability of alien civilisations releasing detectable signs of their existence into space, and doing so for a certain length of time. We have only broadcast ourselves into space for a little over a century. In cosmological terms, that's more than fleeting. And what if an advanced civilisation 500 light years from us that is capable of detecting our radio waves ceases to exist by nuking itself in 300 years from now. They'll never even know we exist. Or existed.

>>462625
>Great filter
What did he originally type?

>>462626

>>462626

I typed Great Filter. Which isn't a word filter.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Filter