>>447393
I wish I knew British sign language. I bet it's a bastard to keep practice but makes for a nice side gig. Plus if I wanted to be BRILLIANT and deny disabled people access to the news I could just sign 'bollocks' again and again.

>>447400

>I bet it's a bastard to keep practice but makes for a nice side gig

Just make sure you don't fake it.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-25330672

>>447393
For the benefit of people who don't know, full-on BSL uses movement and facial expressions as well as hand gestures. Non-manual aspects are sign language equivalents to tone and emphasis in spoken language.

I think I'm going to order a big fuckoff bag of those things from the OP pic, honestly.

>>447415
I like the rhubarb and custard ones that look similar, but they're all pink and yellow and green. My parents once got me a kilo box of those from Makro for Christmas.

>>447132

That's exactly the point I was making.

>The man accused of murdering Sir David Amess in a daft militant wog attack allegedly began plotting to kill an MP two years ago, a court has heard.

>Ali Harbi Ali, 25, was charged on Thursday with stabbing to death the Southend West MP during a constituency surgery in Leigh-on-Sea in Essex last Friday. Mr Ali, from north London appeared in the dock at Westminster Magistrates' Court accused of murder and also preparing acts of militant daft woggery between May 1 2019 and September this year.

>It is understood the plot was inspired by Shamanismic State and it is alleged he previously focused on two other politicians. He is said to have carried out reconnaissance at one of their homes, the surgery of another and the Houses of Parliament.

>Prosecutor James Cable told the court Mr Ali had made a midday appointment to see Sir David at his surgery at Belfairs Methodist Church in Leigh-on-Sea. During the meeting with the MP he was seen using his mobile phone and then allegedly stood up and stabbed Sir David with a large knife.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/10/21/ali-harbi-ali-charged-sir-david-amess-murder/

Two years seems like a long time to come up with the plan of "go to his surgery and stab him."

>>447203
How come MI5 never picked this up? Two years is a long time.

I don't understand how a 23 year old would start planning to murder an MP. I was trying to find a better job, chasing women and drinking too much at that age.

>>447203
To be fair a lot of us made plans in 2019 that we never got to carry out.

>>447203
>During the meeting with the MP he was seen using his mobile phone

Someone at the telegraph knows what really happened. DJ Harbi-between-two-Alis was brainwashed by the illuminate who sent a subliminal messages to his phone to have him murder a politician who was going to expose the conspiracy.

Remember to check back on this post in 10-20 years when the truth comes out.

>>446494

Define “a bit”? You mean you are actually cross dressing or is it just emo eyeliner etc?

>>446495
According to the missus I've started dressing like teenage girl. Skinny jeans, plaid shirts etc. Probably having a midlife moment.

>>446497

>Skinny jeans, plaid shirts etc.

That's just how every mid twenties bearded man dressed five years ago, I think you'll be fine.

>>446497

I'm 30 and that's pretty much all my wardrobe is. My fashion sense hasn't really moved past 1994.

>>447176
Given you were a toddler in 1994, do you also still have the standard issue bowl cut or curtains hairstyle of children at the time?

>>446922

I did not. Standard NHS CBT therapy made only things worse, real therapy is way too expensive for me. Mental healthcare is an expensive luxury, not a right. I gave up on sex many years ago, at least I have videogames and porn to keep me entertained!

My worst is my only, by definition. Turned 29 today. Might neck myself.

>>446928
Prostitutes exist, lad. If you are that desperate enough to neck yourself.

>>446923
>Standard NHS CBT therapy made only things worse

My experience of NHS CBT mirrors yours, not helped by being delivered by a bored practitioner who seemed to be delivering therapy via memorized crib notes, I stopped attending when I came close to calmly telling the practitioner I thought this was nonsense and suspected she did too

>>446928
I didn't lose my virginity until I was 29. You just have to keep putting yourself out there, lad.

>>446630
Had the same issue when Three changed their pay as you go, I barely use my phone, a tenner lasts me months. You can get original pay as you go ones off eBay for a quid, O2's pretty good.

https://www.1pmobile.com/

https://mobile.asda.com/pay-as-you-go

SIM cards are free direct from the carrier.

>>446601
Why would you want to?

>>446603
Because it's there.

>>446601

You'll be a bit fucked once you get there mind. Swimming the channel is one thing, I don't know if anyone has ever swum back the same day.

Better keep your credit card tucked into your speedos so you can buy a ticket on the ferry back.

>>446601

>Is it legal to just swim across the English Channel?

Yes, but if you have to ask you will definitely die.

>>446611

>Argentinian Antonio Abertondo became the first person to swim the Channel both ways non-stop in 1961. It took him 43 hours.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/united-kingdom/articles/everything-you-need-to-know-about-swimming-across-the-channel/

The more you know.

>>446533
>I can see raising it to whatever age you become sentient seeing as how we don't give birth to developed young and it protects the NHS.
Isn't the NHS supposed to protect us?

>>446539
>Isn't the NHS supposed to protect us?

No.

>>446514
Probably because disabled people aren't committed to asylums anymore and disabled access to these places is now mandatory, so they can go there if they want to.

I also seen more disabled people than I would usually see out and about at Alton Towers last time I was there, because they get cue priority and the park is completely wheelchair accessible. Almost like they enjoy the same things as we do. Almost like they are people.

What a fucking twat PJW is.

>>446514
Vaccines.

>>446584
>What a fucking twat PJW is.

Never understood how anyone could listen to him talk for more than 5 seconds and not conclude he's some sort of vague approximation of an actual human being. That fucking voice man.

>>446200
The ZX80 and ZX81 were steps along the way to Sinclair's goal of having a reasonably functional colour computer for under £100. The original ZX Spectrum was the result of that. Markedly better than the previous two, but still notably limited compared to others on the market. You can definitely see why Sugar went in. He had been building his business on the idea that cheap doesn't have to be crap, and the strides that Sinclair Research was making made it clear they were at some point going to be able to deliver something that fit that pattern in the home computer space, and that was borne out in the 1986 sale of those assets to Amstrad.

For the best part of three decades, Sir Clive really was years ahead of his time. Adjusted for inflation, that £100 price point is now £360, which is in the range of budget laptops.

>>446204
>the 1986 sale of those assets to Amstrad

I agree - there's a very strong link between Amstrad/Sugar and Sinclair at that time. I believe the Sinclair purchase actually taught Sugar a great deal about the technology market - a year later, he was producing very cheap word processors and very early PC clones, such as the one picture here, which is also the first PC I ever owned.

>>446204

I guess you always get what you pay for. You can buy a cheap car, which will mean you will own a car, but just don't expect much for your limited amount of money.

You can always design products to a price point, and that was always a large part of Sugar's success. And it can help democratise the market for a product because you are making that type of product available to the masses who can't afford the more high-end variants. But in the end, it's not always a good idea to buy cheap, as a consumer. Even with a small budget.

I'd almost forgotten about the loading screens.
(For those of you not used to waiting, the game starts at 3:27)

>>446191
http://files.righto.com/calculator/sinclair_scientific_simulator.html

This is really good too - a working model of the original calculator, with code.

>>445822
Not even guilty would. Personality is a boner killer.

I just had a YouTube video recommended to me called "comedian sean lock Last video" (sic) and it's almost like he knew he had a few days to live, and people would want to see a video with that title a week or so after filming it, so he recorded this as a sneaky way to promote a charity. What an absolute legend if that's what he did.

>>445890
That video was filmed last year, genius.

>>445893
He looks pretty ill in it either way. Maybe he just planned further ahead than I thought.

15 Storeys High is on iPlayer, presumably in tribute to its deceased creator. It's honestly pretty funny, but difficult to watch somehow. It's too avant-garde and strange for me. It's like a marginally more structured, and funnier, version of Chris Morris's Jam.

Awonga, you say?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80yq9pJ8D4w

>>445909
Would they agree to it, though? I can't imagine any hitman worth his salt would agree to be paid in that way. Some estates take years to be distributed.

>a completely unexpected time

Wouldn't you be expecting it given you just jumped through all the hoops to book it? Your last days would be abject terror as you jump at every noise, you eventually calm down only to have your death by piano wire flash into your mind followed by the sound the hitman cursing under his breath.

Plus there's plenty of ways you can get a hitman for free. Piss off the Italian mafia for instance.

>>445902
Like all things, it's only a crime if you get caught. With hitmen, there is an expectation that they won't get caught. Doctors, meanwhile, are more likely in my opinion to not disappear into the shadows once you die.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUo8W_tbGtE

>>445913
We need to find the next Harold Shipman?

Mum says speed of Aldi cashier left her 'crying and shaking' as food piled high

A Teesside mum says she has been left traumatised by the "aggressive approach" of an Aldi cashier and the "ferocious" speed of the supermarket's conveyor belts.

Nicola Fuller was minding her own business, completing her weekly shop with her three young children, when she became embroiled in tense confrontation with a "disgracefully rude" staff member. She claims the worker refused to slow his scanning even as food fell from the packing area onto the floor "like a slot machine", leaving customers in the Guisborough store "gawping".

The 35-year-old mum maintains that she was loading her shopping "as quickly as possible", but that the worker was taking no prisoners, and "continuously scanning" and "piling the food high". Soon "huge towers" of groceries loomed perilously over the edge of the packing area, as she "frantically reached" to place each item in her bags. "He could see my struggle and when a tin finally fell, I began crying and shaking" she explained.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/mum-says-speed-aldi-cashier-21276454

>>445629
My estimation of journalists has increased lately, with a few stories I've seen of reporters either bravely investigating ugly truths at great personal risk or working really hard to uncover scoops nobody else knows about, but it's all been undone by the fact someone was paid to write that story. Journalists are losers, all of them.

>>445629

>>445630
Local newspapers are pretty much on their arse these days.

The checkout woman at Lidl said "y'alright doll?" to me earlier. I'm fairly certain I didn't mishear her calling me "darl" as she called me "darling" when I left and I'd say two "darl/darlings" in one interaction would be a bit too much. I don't think I've ever been called "doll" by a stranger before. I don't know what to make of it.

>>445250

Explain how visual comparison to entirely undiscovered extra-terrestrial life can be factual.

>>445251

>entirely undiscovered extra-terrestrial life

That is evidently just your opinion.

>>445251

So is it safer at the train station or on the high st on one of those massive bicycle racks?

>>445291

The safest place to park your bike is next to a nicer bike with a worse lock.

The only bicycle locks that will actually stop a half-serious thief are the Kryptonite New York Fahgettaboudit Mini and the Abus Granit X-plus Mini 54. They're genuinely a pain in the arse to get open. Anything else can be popped open in about 15 seconds with a pair of long-handled bolt cutters or a bottle jack.

Some of the beefier motorbike chains will stop a professional thief, but they're hugely expensive and impractically heavy. Cable locks and folding locks are useless, chain locks are surprisingly easy to cut (they give the thief too much room to manoeuvre) and D-locks can only really be trusted if they've got at least a 13mm case-hardened shackle and they're just barely big enough to fit around the bike and post.

Fortunately you don't need to make your bike impossible to steal, just less attractive than the available alternatives. If there are two bikes on the same stand of similar value, a thief will go for the one with the worse lock. If there are two bikes on the same stand with equally good locks, a thief will go for the one with that is easiest to sell.

Making your bike harder to sell at a reasonable price is just as valuable as getting a better lock. Scrape off the decals, file off the brand names on the components, give the frame a really ugly re-spray with a rattle can. If you make your bike less attractive to a random bloke in a pub, you make it less attractive to a thief.

Looks like we've moved on from bread, but the absolute best bread is Simit, with clotted cream and honey.

I say this as I've not long been back from a Turkish café where I ate my bodyweight in it, and regretted nothing.

If this is going to be breadthread, then my recent favourite is chThe Great White Whale. Here's one I made earlier.

>>444677
That looks delicious.

I've been thinking about it and I've decided that petit pains, especially the ones you finish baking at home, are a far better receptacle for sausages than hot dog rolls.

>>445085
Full agreement.