I think we did have a man of God posting here once. It takes around 7 years of study from what I remember and any money is merely resting in your account.

>a lot of churchy young women have that strangely alluring oddball vibe to them

Well you won't fit in with the Catholics at all.

Try an evangelical church. My local one takes in men when they're as young as 25 and trains them to be pastors. Not sure what pay is like, but if you're after oddballs then evangelical church is the place for you.

According to this, if you want to be a trainee vicar you should be a regular churchgoer and approach your vicar to see if they think you'd be suitable to join the ministry. If they'll support your application the next step is to be interviewed by a selection panel and if you're successful in that they'll pay for you to study for a degree in theology.

https://www.ridley.cam.ac.uk/ordained-ministry/apply

My BIL is active in a CoE church, possibly on this path. Currently does pastor stuff. The petty politicking and bickering in the congregation at large - well, the engaged ones not the ones dragged in by partners / parents or just depressed and wanting some silent company on a Sunday morning, trumps anything he's ever seen.
'Ooh, the vicar wouldn't like that', fighting for specious duties, currying favour with Jesus. Just madness. Take the office 101 thread, make most of the participants either highly strung or elderly (or both), add a veneer of 'Jesus wants', and start arguing about the photocopier.
Not with a fucking bargepole, m8.
Just call yourself Reverend Anon, move to a new area and build a cult of personality around yourself. Sooner than you know, you'll be surrounded by mad church totty and have the FBI (Met in this country? Who would we use to flatten your compound and burn you out?) at the door.

>>445040
>The petty politicking and bickering in the congregation at large - well, the engaged ones not the ones dragged in by partners / parents or just depressed and wanting some silent company on a Sunday morning, trumps anything he's ever seen.

I knew years of reading tedious cunt-offs on here would eventually pay off somehow.

Well, that would be patently nonsense because we are in fact the superior race in all respects. It would be most undignified for us to cower behind that victim politics tripe.

What we should do however, is secede from the union immediately, and take control of our borders, before any more bloody offcome'duns get in and take up more of our affordable housing.

>>444747
So the solution is obvious: flood your town with ethnics to secure government investment.

>>444750
What you really need to do is catch rare ethnics like in Pokémon. That's what they do in London. Your local council will be flooded with financially ruinous pet projects in no time that can employ thousands of consultants for decades.

>>444747>>444750
I'm not sure I agree with this. I've been to Dewsbury.

Steve Coogan makes a case in the first episode of The Trip for the north having just as much claim to a national identity as Wales, based on cultural distinction from the south. He's mostly doing it to wind Rob Brydon up, but he makes a half-decent case.

>>444748
This lad gets it.

>>440673

The recent uptick in the prevalence of celiac disease and gluten intolerance is a govt psyop to reduce demand for wheat as the Department of Bread knew that this shortage was coming.

From your friendly neighbourhood /boo/lad. watch the skies.

>>440679
>celiac

Do you mine Wikipædia for your conspiracies as well as your medical terminology?

>>440682

Mæbye

>>440679

>Department of Bread

Surely, you mean the Ministry of Bread Truth.


>>440673

On the upside, climate change is making wine growing in Britain increasingly feasible. So it's not all doom and gloom.

https://inews.co.uk/news/environment/climate-change-britain-south-england-wine-growing-region-global-warming-390761

So I recently had the nerve to reject a £80k/yr job that I really wouldn't have liked, because I now know how to live without spending shitloads just to sustain myself. The supermarket autism I've picked up in the last year + moving the fuck out of London really helped.

>>440499
>I think until the day I die I will be looking at price per gram in supermarkets from now on. Why was I buying pasta for £2.5 when they have it for £0.2?
Well now that I have REALLY given it a shot, actually no. I can definitely tell the difference between £1 bronze die pasta and £0.2 crap pasta. However I now buy the premium of alidlidl rather than $brandname and I can confidently say that's more or less the same shit.

Learn an instrument. Learn the drums and you'll have no shortage of bands desperate to have you aboard.

>>444498
Bourbons used to be so different...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUFm2rWn41g

Bring Back Bashing

Get yourself into a pole fitness night, you'll be swarming in flexible fanny.

Nice juicy pair of plums you've got there lad.

>>444477
Love a plum me. Gods own fruit.

>>444481

They've been a bit shit this year, at least supermarket ones. Either bitter even when soft and overripe, or never ripening and flavourless.

>>444482 did you see a country of origin? Supply chains are all over the place, you might be getting super early forced britplums, sewage encrusted ones from Morocco, or something that's been in a ripener's cold store for two years and really needed shifting. Not long to this year's glorious crop of Brit. plums though. Assuming we actually have orchards and pickers.

>>444460

>It is classist, since command of language and literacy has always been used as a tool of class rule.

I would say it has been more a tool of class distinction. Whether you like it or not, proper spelling or lack thereof almost unmistakably signifies you as a member of a particular social class. It is rare that somebody from the upper middle class or upper class makes the same kind of spelling mistakes and with similar frequency as somebody who grew up on the rough side of North London.


> And it is ableist, since some people can't maintain as high a standard of literacy as others thanks to some condition

While I don't think your wrong, I believe that seven times out of ten, people are just plain lazy and/or never tried hard to master proper spelling. Expecting somebody who is capable to make an effort isn't necessarily the same as mocking somebody for their innate inability.

>>444470

>your

Tut tut.

>>444471

Well done, you. You've found a spelling mistake.

Now go outside and play with it.

>>444472
Maybe you'd find your sense of humour if you joined them.

>>444470
>Whether you like it or not, proper spelling or lack thereof almost unmistakably signifies you as a member of a particular social class

'Whether you like it or not' is not an argument. Do you have proof, or even indication, beyond your opinion?

>>444476

> Do you have proof, or even indication, beyond your opinion?

You haven't spent much time on .gs, have you.

I used to collect Top Trumps, and each set comes with a special card. If you send 10 special cards to Top Trumps HQ, you get a Top Trumps Top Trumps set. It was very underwhelming.

>>444369

Does the Top Trumps Top Trumps set come with a special card?

>>444369
When was this? They never did this in the 1990s when I had Le Mans Cars and Road Cars and one of the fantasy ones, possibly Goblins & Faeriefolk. I had loads, and I imagine I still do if my parents haven't thrown them away.

The best top trumps aren't even made by Top Trumps anyway.

>>444370
Don't think so.
>>444373
This would have been about 2002. They actually advertised that the prize was a gunmetal Top Trumps case, but I guess that got replaced by Top Trumps Top Trumps by the time I had enough special cards.

>>444365
I'll teary in your bumder

>>444363
Revenge lad is back! He's been analysing all our posts and basically we're fucking stupid.

Click here to find out how.

>>444367
I think you're giving revengelad too much credit.

>>444368

Few posters even consider the possibility of shit posters from other message boards.

And yet across the gulf of space minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded our website with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.

Pendragon flag spotted at today's anti-vaxx March in York. Those hippies seem to love flying it.

Can't you just call, post, or e-mail to your local authority?

>>444179

You're absolutely right. I must have been having a brainfart, there. They have an online service where I can order the certificates I need.

>>444195
Images like this are why we need UBI.

>>444156
just got back in from putting up a load of 8 foot fenceposts in concrete. Ran out of ballast, got 1.5 holes still to fill. And that'll be the first of four sides done. I fucking hate fencing. But I love my new nailgun, that thing's death from above.
May as well derail this inepto-troll.

Is this from the same poster who makes the threads about being Asian and fucking white girls' pussies? Some sort of alt-right LARPer trying to stoke tension within the site's race relations.

>>444172

Probably because they come from the other place and live on a diet of Daily Mail links that tell them Britain is under Sharia law, and expect us to get supremely triggered thinking about Big Ahmed pounding our precious white wimmin.

All it does is make me vaguely lament the fact I've never bagged a Polar lass myself. Well, I did have a mixed race bird once, but she was too pale to really tell if you didn't know her.

>>444172

Probably. That's basically all they do now on the Other Place, try to race bait each other all day.

>>444173

My second girlfriend was Indian. On reflection, she wasn't any different to any other lass I've ever been with, but at the time she was such a contrast to my first girlfriend who was boring and shit in bed, so during and for a while after our relationship I was convinced that forrun lasses specifically were the secret sauce, that they were all kinky, submissive sex fiends who were having some sort of revelation at the end of your white knob.

Turns out most women just like a good rodgering, regardless of the cultural background they may or may not have, and with the added benefit of not having to talk to all four of their grandparents and often extended family every time you go to their house.

except eastern european lasses and catholic irish lasses. fucking hell they're another level

>>444157

Sir. It doesn't matter how many middle aged Asian gentlemen you say have "scrambled your bussy" I an not referring you for an abortion, because you are not pregnant.

>>443081

I think like this too - I'm mostly a hermit anyway and I will often drive for hours just to relax. A house in the middle of nowhere would suit me just fine. The only thing stopping me at the minute is that I still need to be physically present at work most of the time, so as much as I do like driving a long commute would probably get old. Having said that we have pilots that live three or four hours away from their base even though they're not supposed to.

On the other hand though, there's plenty to like about being ten minutes drive from a burger at all times. I think I'd definitely miss takeaway delivery and same-day amazon. Though maybe those are two vices better left out of my reach.

>>443082

Not cold enough.

I think I'd have encouraged my parents to get me into more after school clubs, ones that would be useful in later life. Martial arts, gymnastics, dancing, things like that.

>>442970
Act retarded, autistic deaf and anti-social.

>>443874

Lift weights, fight don't fright, stop marxism.

>>444079
If I'm taking a director's salary under the NI threshold, can I use rounding to tack an extra 3 or 4 pence onto my salary to push me over the threshold tax-free?

Also have you got any jobs going at yours?

>>444078

Pension contributions are a business expense. Plain and simple. They reduce your profit and thus your taxable income as a business.

>>444086

Yes, but if you claim it as a business expense you can't also claim tax relief, because you didn't pay tax on it in the first place. HMRC aren't completely daft.

>>444087

That is correct.

Problem is that a lot of people don't know that difference between a business expense and a tax relief.

A friend started a one-man computer repair service as a younglad, but his grasp of accounting and very basic tax law was quite tentative. He told me he was going to use his car for his business because he "could write everything off". But then when I asked him what he meant by that, he just said, "I don't know, I guess it means I get money back for what my car costs me". He was a trained painter and decorator, and they probably didn't teach him the finer points of running your own business, but he was really not prepared at all. We sort of lost contact a while later, but I think his business didn't last very long.

Are you a socialist by any chance.

>>444123

IT'S A PHILIPS SCREWDRIVER, THEY'RE THE WOOOOORST.

I fancied Judith something rotten. Is that better or worse than fancying Jenny?

>>444124
I saw Jenny at the theatre. Can't remember what the play was but there was a q&a after and God she's fucking posh.

>>444126

I met Maxine Peake in the audience at the Royal Exchange a few years ago. I think it was a Daniel Kitson show. This will probably sound bonkers, but she had this other-worldly aura about her, like she was a Greek statue brought to life. I wasn't starstruck, it took me a minute to even recognise her, she just seemed to move with unnatural poise and elegance.

>>444127

It's called Charisma lad.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charisma

>>444127
Her in Shameless was a hell of a woman.